Tampons: Virginity and You – Will I Lose It?

Hiho, finally got a new topic to write about as I received some questions by email. The reader writes…

Hello,

I follow your blog with great interest.

[...]

My question is, will wearing tampons affect the virginity? Can only non virgins wear tampons, or virgins can too, or will it tear the hymen?

Thanks,
[Name]

This has always been a very large misunderstanding for those who have been brought up with a more conservative and perhaps in some cases, old-fashion thinking. I will have to say from growing up in a traditional Asian household, that I can relate to the way-of-thinking when it comes to trying to accept something “outside” of the way that “things always have been” and in the sense of menstruation, it is something that is not spoken out, simply dealt with and sanitary napkins/pads being the default and only choice of menstrual protection. Suffice to say, many mothers and perhaps fathers, believe that the usage of tampons will cause the loss of virginity in their daughter(s). Even if the misunderstanding between the link of tampons and virginity is not present, a sizable number of Asian women simply don’t even bother considering tampons.

Obviously, there are Asian girls out there who use tampons, my ex-ex being one of them, but certainly, out of all my Asian girlfriends I’ve had, only one did but yet out of my 2 white/Caucasian girlfriends, both did. Now of course given my lack of dating girls of many cultures, these aren’t very viable statistics, but I have dated more Asian girls than those of other cultures and that means that’s a 100% tampon-use ratio for the non-Asian girls and only 20% of Asian girls. Although my ex and god-sis did try them on my suggestion, I’m not going to consider them ‘regular’ users of tampons.

O.B Tampon Pro Comfort, Sponsored by Beijing 2008 Olympics

O.B Tampon Pro Comfort, Sponsored by Beijing 2008 Olympics

There are two things that play a great part when it comes to the mentality considering tampons, culture and religion. I’m obviously not going to even start a topic of whether I believe X culture is right or Y religion is true, it’s simply that one’s upbringing is likely to have a large influence on menstrual protection choices, if not in later years, but at least the first few years post-menarche.

To first understand the non-existent link between virginity and tampon usage, one must first understand virginity. Virginity can be a hotly debated topic and I can’t possibly cover all angles, so let’s just keep it simple. According to Encarta dictionary, virginity is defined as:

vir·gin[ vúrjin ]

somebody who has never had sexual intercourse

So where exactly do you draw the line on intercourse? Sex used to be a very defined thing, you put it in, pull it out – and it’s not so easy to draw the line anymore. Are you still a virgin if there is no penetration? What category does oral sex fall under? What about sexual relations between homosexual couples? Different cultures, religions and value-systems will have a different take on virginity but for now, let’s consider this the old fashion way, where we consider “intercourse” to only be the insertion of a penis into the vagina.

sex·u·al in·ter·course

an act carried out for reproduction or pleasure involving penetration, especially one in which a man inserts his erect penis into a woman’s vagina

So, the loss of virginity is related to sexual intercourse and not by using of a wad of cotton, a.k.a – a tampon! For many cultures and religions, virginity is a big thing – especially when it comes to the loss of virginity outside of a relationship or marriage. Nevertheless, there are also misconceptions about virginity tied to the hymen as an indicator of virginity. Let’s take a look at what is and the purpose of the hymen as defined by about.com:

What Is the Hymen?

The hymen is a piece of tissue that, during development, blocks some or all of the entrance to the vagina. It exists in many species, and scientists have no real understanding of its purpose in humans.

The hymen being a mere piece of tissue is subject to forces substantial enough to be torn or ripped through daily, non-sexual activities such as bike riding, horse riding, gymnastics, etc. and isn’t necessarily related to a virginal status of a woman. The hymen can certainly break through masturbation or self-exploration It is of course possible to tear the hymen when using tampons, however, as I noted above, virginity and whether the hymen is intact or not does not define whether a woman is or is not a virgin. Furthermore, it is also not impossible for slight penetration to occur (thus causing the loss of virginity) without breaking the hymen as the tissue itself is able to stretch without fully tearing it. The breaking of the hymen may or may not include some bleeding or pain and it happens as a result of inserting a tampon, it is unlikely to be noticed anyways.

It’s hard to say without statistics whether more women are likely to “open up” with tampons after she loses her virginity. I know girls who’ve started using tampons well before they lost their virginity and girls who started using tampons post-losing their virginity – however, I do not believe there is a correlation, only coincidence. There are of course girls who lose their virginity and never use tampons because they feel using pads works for them already. I suppose that after a girl loses her virginity, she feels more comfortable with having something inserted within her. The fear of tampon insertion is generally the biggest thing for young women, whether it is the messiness, embarrassment or the lack of understanding of her own genitalia. No doubt, for girls who have not had sex or masturbated, knowledge of that area tends to be very shallow and may contribute to a more shy-approach to using tampons.

Nevertheless, the bottom line answer is that tampons do not result in loss of virginity. Sexual intercourse results in the loss of virginity (however you want to define sex). Virgins and non-virgins can both use tampons. Tampons may or may not rip/tear the hymen. The hymen is not a indicator of virginity. Although this isn’t the theme of my blog or topic directly, but please remember to practice safe-sex to minimize/prevent transmission of STD’s, especially if you’re not in/with a monogamous partner/relationship and you’re not ready/want to take on the responsibilities of potentially conceiving a child or children.

Here’s a laugh… the amusement starts mostly at 1:20 but to get the entire laugh, you can watch the entire 2 minute-and-something clip… Just laughed at how true the dialogue was…

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About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on September 15, 2010, in Periodtastic and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. But it’s interesting to know that in many places, an unruptured hymen is taken as proof of a woman’s virginity. Sometimes it’s even used as test of rape. Awful no? Especially when the hymen can be ruptured in so many ways.

    I think as far as an Asian attitude towards virginity goes, it means “Having had nothing to do with the genitalia till that time!” No touch, no inserting, no playing etc…Basically the woman has to be a piece of dead wood until her husband comes along and “awakens” here. This means that even if a woman masturbates but still has her hymen intact, she’s not “virgin enough” – certainly not something you disclose in the marriage advertisement!

    • I definitely know of cases where the hymen is used to determine virginal status and living in an area highly saturated with South-East Asian cultures, they take virginity very seriously to the point where death is the only option for women who have been raped or lost it prior to marriage. There are procedures like hymenoplasty which is essentially to “restore” the presence of the hymen for women who’s lives may depend on whether they have a hymen or not (or more importantly, signifying their virginity).

      I’m inclined to agree with you that Asian attitude is very much like that… I know talking to many of my Asian girl-friends or even girlfriends, few of them have ever bothered exploring their genitalia other than cleaning/hygienic reasons (and even then they’re very avoiding of that area) and/or after they have sex (and even then, only let their husband do the work and not touch themselves). I suppose I have a firm view of virginity as well being brought up with a traditional Asian background, but at the same time, I do believe that being a bit too conservative only causes fear… as if a woman touches herself she now becomes unclean. The reality is, I much rather enjoy a girl who knows her body well than a girl who doesn’t even know the feeling of arousal and excitement. I would not say I prefer a girl who is not a virgin, especially in world where STD’s contracted from other sexual partners is so rampant, but just because they don’t have sexual experiences with other PEOPLE, doesn’t mean they should not/cannot explore their own bodies.

      Masturbation for women in the Asian culture is a VERY frowned upon thing. Women are not encouraged or even DIScouraged to get to know their bodies. There is a stigma, I won’t lie – it seems like it’s a much more acceptable things for males than females , but why don’t women deserve the same right to enjoy pleasure and to know what makes them feel good and what doesn’t? I enjoy it when I know my girlfriend knows her body well enough that when it comes time for us to enjoy it together, we know what the hell we’re doing! Women who know their own body well tend to be more receptive of touching as well – and I’m not talking about sexual touching, just regular touching. Of all the girlfriends I have, the ones who explored their own bodies were more open to say… having my arms around them, squeezing them with a big hug or even teasing them once in a while.

      Nevertheless, something as ‘simple’ as using a tampon shouldn’t be counted against her “touching or inserting” something in herself… it’s just an inanimate object used from menstrual needs. I guess it’s kind of unfair to be a woman, that they have such different standards placed on them. One of my avid readers here, an Asian girl has a very strict, “no self-touching” and “not until the husband comes along” – very similar to what you said about being a dead piece of wood. The funny thing is though, that the awaken part is very true as well… I recall one of my girls saying to me, “I never was excited about being touched or having sex until the first time… then it became an addiction.” and quite understandably, for girls who have been sheltered away from their own bodies and not even knowing what pleasure feels like, it becomes an addiction once they DO know what it feels like.

      When it comes to not being “virgin enough” – I think that depends on where you’re saying that. Perhaps for more conservative-based countries, that might be true, but most, if not all my friends tell me NEVER to date or marry a virgin girl because she has no experience. I used to have a very strong I would only ever be with a virgin attitude, but that changed as the reality sets in that whether a girl is a virgin or not, if you love her, you love her. In countries where virginity is valued or demanded, NOT having experience is a good thing… in countries where it’s a bit more open and even where virginity as devalued, we want our guy and girlfriends to have ‘experience(s)’… suffice to say, I just believe that any girl I know who’s over the age of 16 (if not younger) are already not virgins… LOL!

  2. When I read a great blog post I do one of three thing:1.Share it with all the relevant friends.2.Bookmark it in some of the popular sharing websites.3.Make sure to visit the same blog where I came across the post.After reading this post I am seriously considering going ahead and doing all of the above!

  3. my girl friend is just 12. no periods yet but started using tampons so it would be less
    painful when we did it. a lot of vaseline and a quick thrust putting it in still hurt her but after 3 more times it felt better

    • In general, it’s more practical to use something like a vibrator or dildo to help loosen her up. Tampons are generally smaller than an average-sized penis, so tampon use (on her period only) would help get her used to having an object within her. Vibrators and dildos are also smoother than a tampon and would make her feel more comfortable if you’re trying to make vaginal insertion more comfortable. However, I also do understand that being 12, getting a vibrator or dildo from stores would not be possible, so you may have to rely on an older individual to purchase one for her.

      If you are trying to ensure she gets used to the feeling of penis-vagina insertion, try spending more time doing foreplay to increase sexual fluid secretion and ease it in rather than “quick thrusts” which may rather be FORCING it in and just dealing with the pain rather than making her feel comfortable. The method of “loosening her up” can be achieved in many ways, either through force or slow, but firm insertions… and the choice is up to you two how you want to approach it, but certainly it’s a huge turn-off if you end up hurting her or that she’s in pain.

      If you were/are using a condom for sex, then you should be careful not to use vaseline as it is an oil-based lube and may cause condom material to weaken and cause vaginal infection due to the hazard of chemicals near the vaginal area. I would recommend you use water-based lubricant or ones marked as safe for condom/sex-use.

  1. Pingback: Considering A Tampons Take Your Virginity

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