Monthly Archives: January 2010

Maxi Pad/Sanitary Napkin Disposal

Hello again,

Trying to get back on-track with a periodtastic post! I recently received an email from a shy young man who writes:

Hi Prexus,

My name is [removed] and I have often been interested in periods just as yourself. Having grown up in a family which has gone through a divorce, I have had little female-contact as my sisters and mother have moved away. I rarely see them and I do not feel comfortable approaching any of my female friends to ask them questions about their periods. I have found many sites that talk about periods, but use references and language that only females would understand. Although I know bits and pieces about what periods are, I feel very stupid to be in my mid-teens and barely know anything about girls. Your blog has really allowed me to see what periods mean from a boy’s perspective. I understand little about sanitary napkins and tampons. I have heard from my friends that say girls can flush these things in the toilet. I also heard some people say that you throw them in the garbage. What is true? How do girls dispose of their hygiene products after they use it? I hear many different things I do not know what is right or if they are lying to me. I am curious to learn more but feel ashamed to bring this up in my health class or with another girl because I do not know if they will laugh at me.

Thank you.

Since this was always a topic I wanted to cover, I guess I’ll take the opportunity to address it now and hopefully answer the inquiry of this gentleman. I have found with this subject of menstruation or anything surrounding it are often shrouded by shyness. I never expect my readers to write to me using their names, so anyone who feels like writing to me can rest assured that your identity will be protected unless you say so otherwise. I will either use a fake name or you may use an alias for yourself and I do not mind. I am happy to hear feedback from ANY of my readers, positive or negative.

So, to proceed with this topic, I would like to first of all say that proper disposal of menstrual protection is of utmost importance. I have worked with people in any position/ranking and most notably, caretakers will attest that the women’s bathroom is usually more disgusting than the men’s washroom. With that said, I am totally understanding of the fact women have a lot more to “take care of” in the washroom than men do, but it is also imperative that basic sanitation standards be adhered to such as proper hand washing and disposal. Let’s face it, how many of you really (exception: the flow-lovers) want to see soiled tissue, dirty toilet water, dirty commode, used pad/tampon/alternative product or dirty floors/walls when you enter your stall? I’m betting most of you would find that very disgusting, therefore, it is common decency to ensure that when you leave the stall that it is in a condition that you would like to walk into!

Since this is again a male-oriented blog, there probably won’t be much of a need to “teach” girls how to dispose of their used products, so we’ll skip ahead for the guys. So, one of my readers wanted me to address about how sanitary products are disposed and to demystify the “science” behind it. In regards to maxi pads, they should (under most circumstances) be disposed of in the garbage or in a sanitary bin (usually behind the toilet/stall wall). There is a flushable pad on the market, but it is likely most women are using your conventional non-flushable pads. Pads are extremely bad for most toilets so unless you want to clog the toilet (which may be embarrassing and/or gross), I would advise against it – trust me, it isn’t pretty, I’ve seen it. In regards to tampons, most tampons are flushable, however, when I say tampon I mean ONLY the tampon portion as the applicator/wrapper should be disposed of via the garbage/sanitary bin. However, knowing plumber friends, some of them advise women to not flush tampons either, especially if their drainage system or toilet is older or not in a decent condition as it adds unnecessary stress to the system(s).

Proper disposal of used sanitary items also help reduce the odor that is dissipated. Dried menstrual fluid doesn’t exactly smell “pleasant” (again, exception to the flow-lovers), so through proper disposal, women can assist in keeping the air in the washroom relatively clean. Suffice to say, no matter how well proper disposal is followed, unfortunately when you have 20 used products in a garbage/sanitary bin, it is not really going to give off the smell of apples either way, so women generally have a practice (at home) of emptying the garbage more frequently than when they’re not menstruating to prevent “build up” of old products and allowing the accumulation of the smell. This is especially important to note to the guys that menstrual fluid being “smelly” is not because a woman’s vagina/blood is dirty (unless there are health implications). The odour that is emitted from a used menstrual product is a result of the bacteria that comes in contact with air, therefore it is imperative men understand that this is not fault of the female body as the menstrual fluid itself is clean!

Without further ado, I took the liberty of demonstrating a pad disposal (without the gore for easily-disgusted-male sake):

(Fig 1.) Pad in the original individually-wrapped form

(Fig 1.) This is the general package of a pad, obviously will be different for each brand/size. This the usually the state of a pad when it is taken from the package and unopened. In conventional pad packages, each pad is individually wrapped.

(Fig 2.)Package is opened revealing the pad inside

(Fig 2.) The wrapper is opened and within contains the pad. Generally, the wrapper of the pad is SAVED to wrap up the old pad that will be removed or saved to wrap the current pad that is going to be used for disposal later.

(Fig 3.) Pad opened up but with wings tab still intact

(Fig 3.) To fully utilize the pad, one must open it up usually by unfolding all the necessary parts to make it “whole”

(Fig 4.) This is the pad with the wing-tab peeled off

(Fig 4.) Since this is a “panty-less” demo, I’ve already removed the wing-tab. Most people would have placed the pad onto the panties and then removed the wing-tab to secure the wings around the crotch of the panties. This is to ensure that the wings do not stick to anything else and thus the reason why it is done last. You don’t ever want the adhesive to stick to anything else… it hurts!

(Fig 5.) This is the form the pad "ready to be used" - or well, if it wasn't stuck to a desk it would be

(Fig 5.) So here we have it guys, a pad ready-to-go in all its glory, LOL! Sorry that it is on a bit of an angle, but like I said, the sticky adhesive is a pain, it was actually stuck to my desk for a while and I had to fight with it to get it off! To continue onto Figure 6, let us assume that this is the pad AFTER it has been removed. Before initiating the “roll up” one may choose to either fold the wings in first or leave the wings out.

(Fig 6.) This is the beginning of the disposal procedure once removed

(Fig 6.) Here’s where the main point of this entry comes into play, the disposal! Once the pad is saturated, it is removed from the panties and generally, most people will roll it up. My ex dubbed it the “spring roll” (especially because she used the Always Regular which had the yellow wrapper – harhar!) as the most common method of disposal. As you can see, the the wings have been folded in before being rolled up but I personally prefer it left outside, but I will demo the results of that in the following figures. Since the pad itself is (normally) saturated, you have to be careful about how tightly you roll it up because it may “squeeze” some of the fluid out.

(Fig 7.) Rolled up with the wings inside

(Fig 7.) I find that the problem with rolling it up with the wings in is that it sometimes tends to “open up” which is not exactly aesthetically pleasing. However, having spoken to many of my girl-friends, this apparently is the “preferred” way of doing it.

(Fig 8.) My preferred way is to roll it up with the wings outside

(Fig 8.) This is personally my way of doing it, because what it allows you to do is to wrap the wings around the “holes” of each end which securely fastens the sticky parts all together, thus reducing the possibility of it “opening back up” or having fluid “come out the sides”. Also, this method, in my opinion, also compacts the pad itself, thus allowing for a smaller disposal profile.

(Fig 9.) My method of wrapping the wings after the roll-up to "seal" the pad

(Fig 9.) As a result of leaving the wings unwrapped during the roll-up sequence, you create a “tail” as per the previous figure and thus, you are able to grab each end and bring it to where the top of the pad and the bottom of the pad meet. This creates a 3-way sealing effect and again, can be used advantageously for disposal taking up less space in the trash/sanitary bin.

(Fig 10.) Place the pad onto the original/leftover wrapper

(Fig 10.) Regardless of which method you choose to “roll” it, you will end up with a “spring roll” of your used pad. It is also possible to include any wrappers/tabs if not previously disposed as part of the package. Roll or enclose the pad within the wrapper in a suitable fashion for disposal. I prefer wrappers that actually have a small “sticky tab” that you can use to seal the wrapper, but unfortunately this brand doesn’t have it. In North America, I can only think of the Always pads that come with the little sticker you can use to seal the package.

(Fig 11.) A pad sealed and ready for disposal!

(Fig 11.) And finally the disposal process is almost complete (next to placing it in the proper container). This isn’t my “best handiwork” and I can definitely do a much better wrap, but doing it one-hand while holding the camera is rather hard. And before you ask, no I don’t have a proper set-up for taking pictures/videos – lol.

So there you have it guys, a small demo of a pad from its original form to wrapped-for-disposal form! To my reader who wrote me the above letter, I hope that you find this tutorial of interest to you! I might not have covered every aspect, but have done what I can think of at the moment to answer your inquiry. If you do have further questions, please do not hesitate to contact me at all! Feel proud that you took the initiative to learn more about menstruation because it is men like you who will help women and allies such as ourselves break through the taboo of menstruation!

P.S. The demo’ed pad is a Kotex Regular with Wings

Turning Points

I was just reading my friend’s blog today and having a lengthy (oh… let’s say… 4 hours?) conversation with her. I was telling her how great it was that she experienced a “turning point” in her life… experiences that has changed how she viewed the world. All of us at one point has to change and we are forever changing with every experience or moment that passes. Whether something is big or small, it impacts our lives so ever-little that we barely notice until it accumulates to a noticeable point. Given that she just recently started her new blog, I was quite impressed with the articles she has put up already.

Katie’s entry was all about friendship, something that although readily available in our daily lives, we should take the time to evaluate ourselves and our friends on a daily basis. I don’t mean “evaluate” as in testing them or seeing if they’re “worthy” – but more-or-less, whether they really are friends or just ‘friends’. The most prominent scenario of this are social networking sites, especially Facebook. For most people, I would say there are many individuals who show up on Facebook as “friends” who really aren’t someone you’d “call upon” on a regular basis. Not withstanding, I am definitely guilty of having people on my list who I would never talk to or really associate with… perhaps I just knew them from “somewhere” or either returned the favour of adding them. I have 10 categories on my Facebook, all separated with different areas of access and being an I.T guy, my permissions are set extremely granular based on which groups are assigned to a specific user.

With that said, back on topic, is the fact many of us KNOW many people who we may or may have at one point, considered our friend. However, I would dare say that many of us are likely to have many friends… we may “know a lot of people” – acquaintances, your hang-out group, or whatever, but how many of them truly have your back when the going gets tough? Growing up, I’ve always been very accepting of the fact that I knew a lot of people, but only a select-few I’d really give them the label as “friends.” I do have a very high expectation of friends, because they are my inner-circle, the people who I can trust and KNOW I can rely on no matter the situation. I can go to them when I need good advice or a chest that I can punch until my anger is vented out. With the world of Facebook nowdays, it is very common for people to “outdo” each other… Hey, look, I have 500 friends!”Ya well, guess what? I have 600!” I wonder how many of those people that person truly talks to or really knows well. It is so common to meet someone in a restaurant these days and then end up on each others Facebook.

I have this really bad habit about going on a tangent, haha.. anyways, so the point is that throughout my life, I’ve experienced a lot of turning points like Katie has. I remember acutely going through another similar “friendship reevaluation” just this summer. This summer, someone I knew from high school sent me a request on Facebook (known as FB herein) which I accepted. I thought it was rather weird since we’d never really talk to each other with the odd exception when we needed to do a project. A few days later, he sent me a message asking me to go for lunch. I’m a pretty social person so I said sure and we set a date/time. I expected perhaps that he’d duck-out last minute, but sure enough, we met each other punctually at that location, date and time we initially planned – very cool! We talked as if we were “long lost friends” covering almost all major topics within our short 1 1/2 hour lunch, but it was great. This guy, who I barely talked to in high school would take the initiative and bothered to meet up and have a very casual meet-up. It was a great feeling seeing how much people have changed in high school. On that note though, I recall feeling at one point that it was almost like, “The people who I knew well in high school, talked to daily, hung out with seem to be ‘worse’ than the ones who were more distant then, but ‘closer’ now” I commented to my mom one day with a similar notion about how friends that I used to not get along with seem even more friendly now but those who I knew “well” seem to not recognize our previous friendship… worse was the fact some people who I was very close with even ignored my FB-friend request. My mom with her worldly experience said, “Son, it is because as people grow up, they mature and learn to treat people right.” and with that, it shocked me into a whole new world!

Daily, I grow and mature a bit more and gain insight into humanity and the world based on experiences I endure. My cousin who I care for deeply came to me recently and apologized for the past 4 years that she’s been in Canada and hasn’t really bothered connecting with me. For the past 4 years, I would often check up on her, help her move, do paperwork for her, etc. and she has always kept her distance. In the past year, she experienced great changes and eye-opening experiences in her life which changed the values of which she held family and friends alike. It was very very touching to see my cousin change like that. It wasn’t an apology which made everything right, it was the fact she expressed to me that she realized what she did was inconsiderate and she took time to appreciate the people around her. I was ecstatic and very proud of her! Likewise, I went through and still go through these life-changing things and I hope the people around me take time to reevaluate their lives, take time to reconsider and appreciate the true friends who are around you.

I think it is true we tend to be ignorant of our friends who actually mean a lot to us. Perhaps we consider them to be such good friends to us that we don’t feel an obligation. However, I’m a believer that with ANY relationship, whether just regular friends, best friends or even an intimate one takes time to nurture and upkeep – nothing is free in this world! I hope everyone after reading this takes a bit of time to think about how their friends have changed over their lifetime and how many times in our lives have we had to reevaluate who/what we considered as friendships. I understand this is something that comes with age and experience because a conversation with my god-sister just this evening made me furious. Alas, I cannot expect a 16 year-old to understand concepts such as these because they just haven’t experienced enough to FEEL these things deep in the heart. Changes can’t simply be “forced” … sometimes they will simply happen in time!

Life is Full of Coincidences

This is a really short post… I just had to post this because I totally LOL’ed @ it!

Check out this entry posted by on a blog I just happened to stumble upon. I’m not going to re-post it since I don’t have permission to, so I’ll simply link everyone to it! I was about to close WP, but when I caught the preview of it, I couldn’t help but wander in and come out laughing my ass off. What made this extra funny is the fact that today one of my coworkers asked me if I ever tried a prostitute before because “they are awesome” and I replied, “No – I can’t have sex with a girl I don’t love.” and then I went on to telling him about the street where I live in Hong Kong because it is FILLED with hookers/escorts at night “looking for business.” Talk about coincidence that I had a conversation with him about it this afternoon and read this before going to sleep! I’m probably going to laugh my way to ZzzZZ tonight, haha.

Hope you all enjoy!

Women Connecting with Nature and their Own Bodies

Yesterday, I found a great article on a woman who blogged about her wonderful experiences with her body which she recently discovered. While my articles have tended to be aimed for men, this blog might be of interest to both males and females. For the males, this is useful information and for the females, something you might want to try if you often suffer from cramps or menstrual discomfort. I’ve touched briefly on this subject through one of my previous posts but given how inspired I was by one of the blog-authors of Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross in her article describing her experience. I’m always extremely grateful when I see big-time book/magazine writers or popular authors respond to me because it gives my blog a sense of worth and that my responses are valued by such prestigious individuals. Much to the resistance of the girl I am seeing (wish I could call her my girlfriend) who doesn’t particularly “like” the fact I enjoy the female body, including menstruation, I feel very attached to my blog and many of its readers. My blog has been around for less than a month yet has almost achieved a thousand hits and this is no less my hard work than all my visitors and all the great feedback I’ve been getting from popular individuals! Anyways… on to the rest of my blog.

This world is slowly (and I say SLOWLY) beginning to bring menstruation out of the shadows and into actual discussion. Compared to when I was a child, menstruation is definitely discussed more openly, but still, this discussion tends to only flow (pardon the pun) between females and males are still unfortunately sheltered from truthful, informative and realistic discussions about it. When a parent is watching T.V with a child, what does he/she do when something inappropriate comes on the screen? Most would try to cover their child’s eyes/ears from it or change the channel. Likewise, this same “shielding” action is applied to education about the female body to males. What do guys love about the female body? Vaginas, breasts, they are great – I don’t deny it… but is that ALL we should know? Doesn’t that make guys a bit dense that we (heterosexual males) love the vagina so much but that on the first sight of menstrual fluid we run away? When’s the last time you saw one of your male friends watch UFC or another “realistic combat match” where there’s blood pouring out every pore of the combatants face and not even cause a cringe but if you were to ever mention “period”, “menstrual” or another like-word, you get the dirtiest look ever? I used to be ashamed of my interest in the female body and menstruation and I might very well be labeled as “creepy” or “perverted” – but whatever label you want to give me, I can tell you there is nothing more that a mature woman wants from a guy is one who knows how her body works. From the start of this blog, I have conversed with other bloggers who have given me lots of positive feedback and praise that I’m reaching out to touch many males who truly should take some time to love the female body for ALL it is worth, not just the fact that there is some nice bouncy parts and a hole for us to feel good and whether they want to accept it or not, menstruation WILL exist.

Now, let’s talk about masturbation. On its own and between guys, this is one of the topics that we OFTEN talk about and you might not want to admit it, but we do. I have had countless conversations with my guy-friends about it, exchanging the techniques, our experiences, who/what we fantasize about and everything about it… for guys, this is something we gloat about to each other! Being part of many communities/forums now and in the past, men are more likely to be upfront about such habits both online and offline. Women on the other hand, are more open about it online but will rarely admit to it offline or if you know them in person. Why is this? Both males and females have a right to masturbate, in fact, I think BOTH genders (or everyone in between) should do this because there’s nothing more liberating than knowing your own body inside out. You know when you go through a tough day at school, at work or at home this is one of those things that you can forever do to make yourself feel good. Feel stressed? Why see a shrink, down pills or mull around – go to your room (or if you’re adventurous, ANYWHERE legal) and have fun! This is akin to the idea of “What do you call a girl who sleeps around? A slut” – bad bad – but “What do you call a guy who sleeps around? A player” – the role model for many guys. Why is it we set different standards for males and females? We are both entitled to love our own bodies and in order for you to find someone who loves you just as much, you have to love yourself.

Now that both menstruation and masturbation is out there… let’s try merging BOTH of these together… WOH, stop right there! I’m sure that’s the reaction of most, but why? Are both of these not natural body functions? Why do we see going pee to be such a “regular” thing, but not when you talk about either of those topics then mix them together? I know of very few girls (or at least ones who admit) that enjoying masturbating during their period. You can down all those pain-relieving pills you want, but a 10-minute play-time with yourself (or however long you take to orgasm) will probably relief those cramps faster/longer than those pills will and guess what? There are no negative side effects! (unless you’re opposed to feeling euphoric) I remember when my one of my ex’s used to complain about her bad period pains that I told her that I’d get her a sex toy to enjoy herself with and she loved it so much she bought it before I did, lol. I know there are girls who don’t feel “up to the mood” when they are already feeling pretty crappy, but that’s usually because they’re resistant to the idea of menstrual masturbation in the first place. Once they “try it, they never go back” – seriously.

Whether your flow is light, medium or heavy, you can enjoy yourself like your body intended it to be. All it takes to have a successful session is some preparation and a bit of clean-up (please wash your hands.. lol). The last thing that you want to do is worry about the mess you’re making because then you’re not concentrating at the task at hand and that is well… using your hands and fingers. Girls who are not afraid of doing a bit of laundry can always just lay down a retired towel or bed-spread and let her loose. For those who want a bit of “security” can always masturbate through your pad as both your secretion and menstrual flow will go onto the pad. Tampons, now here comes multiple options – you can either masturbate with your tampon IN, or use the tampon itself as it can be used for stimulation and will absorb flow on its way out. You’d be surprized at how many girls actually masturbate through their pad, nothing beats being able to use something 2-for-1! Most of the girls I know turn bright-red when they admitted it to me – but I never hold that against them or make them feel uncomfortable, because what’s wrong with what they’re doing? They aren’t committing a crime surely! The cleanest option for those who really don’t want to prep/clean up is just to do it in the shower and it’ll all just go down the drain. It might look like a scene from Carrie, but that’s not my problem 😛

Masturbating during menstruation allows a woman to deeply tune into her body and connect with the natural side of herself. While I’m not female and cannot attest to this personally, I can recall many experiences where this proves true and I know there are many women who will attest to this. A woman’s body works wonders and often, menstruation (or lack thereof) is indicative of her overall health such as stress, internal aliments or even unknown happiness. All we guys get is a penis that doesn’t tell us much except for a heart condition when we can’t get it hard. Although women get “the curse” (and that’s not MY label for it) by having to go through this monthly, they are so much more knowledgeable about their bodies IF they are willing to listen to their own signals. By spending a time to discover her own body, there’s no one more that benefits from it than herself. Menstrual masturbation is more than just relieving the cramps and having an extraordinary orgasm, but is also allowing one to understand and accept the wonders of pleasuring oneself and that menstruation is nothing to be afraid, embarrassed or sheltered about. Once a girl can come to terms with doing such a thing, it opens her up to a whole new world and if you don’t believe me, you can try yourself or even talk to one of your female friends who DO masturbate during their period – you don’t have to trust MY word for it! Heck, you don’t even need lube!

This post suddenly sparked a lightbulb in my head to follow up with another topic on what “Guys can and SHOULD do for their girlfriend/wife to make her period comfortable” – because guys, you weren’t put on this planet just to reproduce, but to love, tend and care for your significant other!

How Does One Define WEALTHY?

A few weeks ago, an impromptu conversation with a few of my workers really got me thinking about the idea of “wealth” and how a person defines whether an individual is wealthy or not. I think in a general sense, most of us would instinctively define wealth by the amount of money that a person has. I’m not going to get all philosophical or spiritual and all and start defining wealth by non-materialistic means and for the time being, let us concentrate simply on a numeric and monetary value.

Having grown up in a tradition Chinese setting, the use of money has always been very conservative. From day one when I began handling money, I was taught to save-save-save, something that (out of the words of my coworker), that North Americans tend not to do… they spend whatever happens to be in their hands. Looking at people I know, I can definitely say that it goes without saying that there certainly is truth… most of my friends/colleagues who are your general “white Canadian” families tend not to keep money “lying around”. Although I come from a wealthy family, my immediate family (mom/dad) did not arrive in Canada with that wealth. The money that they came to Canada with went to pay for their rent and they had to actually save up over a course of a year before being able to pay back the money for the flight over.

Let’s skip too much detail and jump to ‘now’. Growing up for me was definitely a very “make do with what we have” lifestyle. I can honestly say my parents were the type to give up everything just for me. I was always able to attend school events (in fact, they urged me to) albeit our financial situation. While we were never “poor” – we were certainly not rich either. What prompted the discussion between my coworkers and I was the fact I always mention the word “poor” when I describe myself and they like to make a note that poor should not be the world I use to describe myself because I really “don’t know what the word POOR means.”

This leads me on to the topic of how people perceive the difference between degrees of wealth. Suffice to say, I don’t think anyone in this world has the same definition or “amount” they would label between everything from poor to filthy rich. For instance, I consider myself poor, much to the chastise of my coworkers because I do not feel I “make enough money” and that I “don’t have enough to spend” when clearly, they feel otherwise. Personally, I feel a better has to make > $100,000 before they can consider themselves “rich” – which I currently don’t make, therefore, I class myself as being poor. Working in a unionized, government institution, all our salaries are available to the public (provincially mandated information) so essentially, all my coworkers know exactly how much I make a year. They ask me how given the amount I make, I could actually consider myself poor. After a good 2-hour talk with them, they made me truly reevaluate the money I make and why I feel poor. They started putting things into perspective for me, that the average Canadian generally do not even have enough money to maximize contributions in both TFSA (Tax-free Savings Account for the non-Canadians who don’t know) and RRSP (Registered Retirement Savings Plan) in a single year. Most people are tied up paying off mortgages, loans (student or otherwise), credit cards, bills, car financing and the likes that to be able to max-out contributions to both those accounts is impossible. Yearly, I am able to comfortably pay off all those bills/loans/owing balances while maximizing contributions to my RRSP/TFSA and invest my money into steady investments (such as GIC’s) and even have money to play the stock market. They made a point to tell me to look at my overall assets instead of simply what I keep “liquid” in my Chequings accounts. Surely, I cannot be THAT poor when I still have money to buy food, spend on entertainment (and girls? LOL… by that, I don’t mean hookers/strippers), and splurge on new technology once in a while.

While I’m generally not comfortable with sharing financial information with people, my coworker (who has been close with my family) asked bluntly how much money I had in my accounts all together. I told her and her jaw must’ve stayed opened for a good 2 minutes. I can remember her words very clearly, “You are what? How old? 24? You OWN a house, drive a luxury vehicle, have no debt, maximize yearly contributions, invest into stocks, live comfortably, and have xxx amount of money in your accounts and you call yourself POOR?!!” – that really smacked me in the face.. not as in negatively – but it really set things into perspective with how wealthy in comparison I am to many. Over the past few weeks, I really took some time to think about all that I really do have and that has changed on what I felt is considered “wealthy.”

Of course I am far from being wealthy in comparison to the rest of my family who own billion-dollar computer corporations, chairman of an international organization and CEO of 5-star hotels – but I have a very SOLID footing for someone of my age. I know that at any time, I could be a part of the massive wealth should I return to Hong Kong, but knowing that I will lose my very comfortable lifestyle in Canada… my steady job, my own business, my (lots) of leisure time and standard working hours – which is something that does not exist when it comes to managing a large business. I for one, prefer to simply be spoiled out of my mind every time I return “home” instead, even though I do not get the same luxury here.

How do you define wealthy? What are your expectations and where do you draw the line before you title someone as wealthy? Is it simply by what they make in a year, the job they hold or the materialistic things they have to show for it?

I’ll tell you, my opinion of my status before talking to my coworkers have really turned around…. and that’s why it is always nice to have older and wiser friends who can really set things straight in your mind, because in all reality, I’m just a little boy in a big guy’s body 😛

Menstruation in a Positive Light

Today as I was doing some research on the usual topic, I ran into the above slogan. Rather than the crappy ones you see in the Canada/US which try to “mask” menstruation or try to pretend it is something horrible, embarrassing or to-be-ignored, it puts a positive light on the reality of a woman’s cycle. Yes, you can debate there are many ways in modern technology to “avoid” having one’s period, BUT let’s assume that most women between menarche and menopause still go through their regular (or sometimes irregular – harhar) cycles. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw the slogan, because it is about time that feminine hygiene manufacturers begin to remove the taboo-ness of menstruation. From what I recall, this world is pretty darn accepting of pornography and I can’t see why people, especially men can’t begin to accept, understand and when possible, make a woman’s period a better thing. Now before I get my head cut off, I’m not saying periods aren’t painful or that they’re the great thing in the world, but it happens.

It wasn’t until today that when I stumbled upon this quote that I decided to also link to another blog which highlights the way in which North Americans still perceive menstruation or at least (to correct myself), North American feminine hygiene companies. I think we (‘we’ as in those who reside in countries who refuse to use menstrual terms properly) have a long way to go before we catch up to the openness of Asian manufacturers, those who do not bother “shielding” the language by using words such as “flow”, “liquid”, “discrete” or things that impact females (especially young ones) to believe that menstruation is a truly evil thing. I’m not promoting the following product but as you can see, Laurier realistically tackles things surrounding menstruation and also using real words such as “periods”, “menstruate”, “menstrual”, “blood”, “menstruation”, “discharge”… and oh my GOD, “panties”! Imagine that, all those words mentioned under a single page meant to describe VIVIDLY some experiences that women may have when using “regular” sanitary pads. Ok, so the page itself gives their product a nice little spin, but at the very least, they are using honest language!

I absolutely ADORE the Kao Laurier F site because the way in which they write their FAQ’s, describe their products and even testimonials do not “shelter” their words. Besides the odd-guy like me who bother reading these sites, only women would read these sites, so why the hell are these companies bothering to make menstruation such a “hidden” thing? What’s wrong with using proper wording if the target-readers are women? It is a very logical comparison to say… a doctor’s reports.. it was written by doctors/nurses FOR doctors/nurses, so they use terminology that THEY understand – so why can’t feminine hygiene companies do the same for their readers? I get tired of seeing stuff like “locks away wetness” or “traps fluid deeply in the core”.. .give me a break. We all know what it is, why don’t people just SAY it?

Sometimes I wonder whether the CEO’s or senior management of North American feminine hygiene products are all run by men who feel that menstruation is a humiliating thing that should avoid direct wording and everything should be “discrete” at all costs…. stop wasting money making crappy ads/slogans that causes negativity towards menstruation/products, making “silent” wrappers, making the product “small”, etc. and make a better end product that helps protect menstruators. Asian feminine hygiene products are beating the crap out of N.A ones all the way from their comfort/absorbency to even the advertisements. Shape up!

Exercise is NOT good for you!

My topic title is in jest, exercise is good for you as long as your body can deal with it, lol. Today, my entire body is in pain.. oh yes, pain. Last night, I did my first workout session… it was a fairly short session since it is an “intense body workout all in under 20 minutes” … which included a good 8 minute warm-up and another 12 minutes of absolutely intense exercise. Of course most people will not “feel the pain immediately” and after working out, I felt very proud of myself for finally doing so. Sure enough, I went to sleep and got some really good sleep.

There is hell to pay when you push your body to the limits. I woke up in the morning and could feel my back and arms tense, however, that’s a feeling I’m quite familiar with after doing workouts for the first week or two. What I did not expect is the failure – yes, FAILURE of my legs. I lift my feet up, dropped them on the ground and then stood up. In the process of me “standing up” I immediately felt the lack of power I had to erect (harhar) my body. As I “stood up” (loosely speaking), I immediately fell ass first back onto my bed. This has been the first time in my life where I have actually “lost power” in my legs and it was a slightly freaky feeling. The second time around I managed to get myself into a standing position because I now knew I definitely had to put more power/care than I normally do to get up in the morning.

Interestingly enough, the pain throughout the rest of my body was regular muscle pain, nothing that I was in great pain or concerned about. However, my lack of power to my legs meant I had to be careful when moving about. My greatest concern was whether my lack of leg power would affect my driving. As I moved around the house in the morning, I began slowly analyzing my limitations. I realized it was not so much of me not being able to “stand” but more or less, any type of bending at the knees. Walking was easy ONCE I was on my feet, but it was the trial of getting up and sitting down that was extremely hard since it requires “knee bending action” while walking is more of a smaller knee motion.

Getting in and out of the car was hard, however, driving was not. When I got to work, I had thought it was going to be a smooth day, only to realize that because I’m doing training sessions that I had a lot of “getting up” and “sitting down” to do… oh shit, life is tough. The day sped by quickly because the instructor thought we were kind of behind and pushed us through like 3 chapters before the lunch-time came around. It was a nice lunch today (did I mention I LOVE work-provided lunches?), premium roast beef sub, weehhh! Ok, sure it doesn’t hit well on the “healthy eating factor” but I have to reward myself for all the pain I suffered today. Should I speak too soon because you’d be surprized what happened next.

One of my coworkers needed to see me after lunch because there was a specialist in the building who needed some information regarding our work.. so I had to GO DOWNSTAIRS. Our building is probably not accessibility friendly since it lacks an elevator, however, I scooted down anyways. I grabbed on to the handrails which I normally don’t do… and mind you, VERY TIGHTLY because I knew I had “balancing” issues, lol… so I made my way down. I made it to the last step, yay… and now I’m on the ground.. OH FUCK, wait, I’m on the ground all right, both my knees gave out on the concrete flooring and I was instantly on both my knees on the ground before I even knew it. You know, for a guy of my weight, falling on BOTH my knees compounds my body weight onto me, holy shit did it hurt. So having thought making it onto regular floor meant I’m home free, I actually lost my power right as I got to the regular floor. Yes yes, luckily I did not fall ON the stairs and survived. So now, not only do I have pained legs, but also scratched up my knees. No blood as a result, but it is red and kind of “dry-skinned”.

Urg, what a day… and even after that, I had to endure another 4 hours of listening to someone teach me about our collaboration system, YAWN. Don’t get me wrong, the teacher is fantastic and very interactive, but I’m just not the type to sit there and listen to someone talk for 8 hours in a day. I spent a lot of my time cruising around facebook and talking on Skype with my friends while “marginally” paying attention to him. I completed all the lab exercises in 1/2 the time required, so what else did you want me to do? Speaking of facebook, I seriously never thought I’d ever add one of my readers because the whole point of me writing this was for complete anonmity reasons, but hell, I prove myself wrong everyday anyways 😀 Funny enough I decided to add the “cramps” tag to this post as a result of my leg cramps XD

Anyways, so not only did I fall on my ass today (luckily on my bed), but also as if I decided to “start praying on my knees” from a complete standing-position as I was coming down the stairs… oh right, on concrete floors. My life is good, can you tell?

Oh, I’m not bitter, lol… after all, this is the price I pay for wanting to get fit! When’s the last time a girl was attracted to a fat Asian guy right (well, “fat” to Asian standards — guys should only be 130-140lbs max)? Trying to thin out my face and reduce the tummy I have.. luckily I don’t drink so it ain’t a “beer belly”. PC said girls like to sleep on a guy’s tummy so I have to make sure I have at least a little to make my girl comfortable 😛 If I can lose 60lbs, I’ll be happy… and so will the girls probably, lol.. I looked good at one point, serious… XD

My Little Red Book

Yep, so I actually bought it… or well, at least the eBook version of it (which I must add, considerably cheaper than printed-copy). I purchased the book “My Little Red Book” by Rachel Kauder Nalebuff. Honestly, this must have been first book I’ve truly read since I graduated from post-secondary, lol. I used to be an avid reader, but as I got absorbed into gaming, my time to stare at text on a piece of paper and flipping through it waned. Although I won’t be flipping through the pages in the book, I will be doing so by hitting the “right arrow” key on my keyboard or using my fingers to slide the screen over to the next page on my iPhone.

I’ve began reading the book already and has already sparked my interest. As you can tell, my commitment to gaining knowledge and insight about this topic is strong, since this is breaking my “no books” streak since 2005. Whether that makes me crazy or dedicated is up to you decide, I don’t really care.

Here’s the excerpt of the book from the CHAPTERS site:

From the Publisher

MY LITTLE RED BOOK is an anthology of stories about first periods, collected from women of all ages from around the world. The accounts range from light-hearted (the editor got hers while water skiing in a yellow bathing suit) to heart-stopping (a first period discovered just as one girl was about to be strip-searched by the Nazis). The contributors include well-known women writers (Meg Cabot, Erica Jong, Gloria Steinem, Cecily von Ziegesar), alongside today”s teens. And while the authors …+ read moreMY LITTLE RED BOOK is an anthology of stories about first periods, collected from women of all ages from around the world. The accounts range from light-hearted (the editor got hers while water skiing in a yellow bathing suit) to heart-stopping (a first period discovered just as one girl was about to be strip-searched by the Nazis). The contributors include well-known women writers (Meg Cabot, Erica Jong, Gloria Steinem, Cecily von Ziegesar), alongside today”s teens. And while the authors differ in race, faith, or cultural background, their stories share a common bond: they are all accessible, deeply honest, and highly informative. Whatever a girl experiences or expects, she”ll find stories that speak to her thoughts and feelings.

Ultimately, MY LITTLE READ BOOK is more than a collection of stories. It is a call for a change in attitude, for a new way of seeing periods. In a time when the taboo around menstruation seems to be one of the few left standing, it makes a difficult subject easier to talk about, and helps girls feel proud instead of embarrassed or ashamed. By revealing what it feels like to undergo this experience first hand, and giving women the chance to explain their feelings in their own words, it aims to provide support, entertainment, and a starting point for discussion for mothers and daughters everywhere. It is a book every girl should have. Period.

So looks like this is the read I’m going to be doing for the next while. Mind you the book itself is quite short, only 240 pages… however, it’s about all the reading experience that counts, not the length. Before you mock me for reading a book like this, consider the fact that Howard Gardner (Professor of Cognition and Education, Harvard University, and author of Multiple Intelligences) read and reviewed the book. If you cannot tell, that is a MALE reader/reviewer, so if anything, let me be the next male to read it. I’m sure I’ll find plenty of good content from the book and make relevance of it on my blog. However, fear not, I will still continue my usual personal-postings every once in a while and any other topics I had listed to touch-base on in the near future. The topic is vast, so I doubt I’ll run out of things to talk about!

Nevertheless, I’m going to sit back now and do a couple more pages before going sleepy-sleep! Night everyone.

– K

Tampon Basics for Men

The weird looks that guys get whenever they stand in this aisle

Hi again, thought I’d get back on track and wrap up the “basics” for the guys and today, I’d like to tackle the topic of tampons in a simplistic male-oriented fashion. Again used products won’t be displayed on here for your sanity and viewing pleasure, lol. The usual disclaimer applies to whatever pictures I may use here are completely by nature of “best fit” and I’m not recommending or suggesting the brand of product that may appear. A tampon is used to absorb menstrual flow right before it exits the body.  Since every manufacturer uses different materials, simply put it, a tampon usually contains an absorbent material intended to absorb the flow and keep it in until the time of disposal. If you haven’t gotten the picture already, unlike pads which are worn on the underwear, a tampon is inserted into the vagina until it is withdrawn and disposed. Each manufacturer shapes their tampons differently to achieve various degrees of comfort and efficient absorbency, however, they can be simply described in the fashion of a cylinder or long bullet as shown in Figure 1.

(Fig. 1) A typical shape/concept of a tampon

The tampon on its own is comprised only in 2 parts, 1) the absorbent portion, and 2) the string. There are two primary methods of insertion and it is also based on the brand/type of the tampon that is used. Tampons are firstly divided into two types, one being an applicator tampon and the other being an non-applicator tampon. An applicator (cardboard/plastic) is usually 2 small tubes which “deposit” the tampon within the vagina allowing for most, easier insertion. To insert an applicator tampon, the entire tampon unit itself (as shown in Figure 2) is inserted half-way (or a comfortable depth) into the vagina.

(Fig 2.) A tampon with an applicator

When the upper half of the applicator is in the vagina, the bottom half of the applicator is pushed upwards (towards in the upper half) causing the tampon inside the applicator tube to be pushed in and “deposited” into the vagina. The applicator is now in a compressed form (tube-in-tube) and can be withdrawn since the tampon has been inserted. If the tampon is inserted properly, there should be no apparent awareness that something is inserted and it should not feel uncomfortable. The applicator can then be thrown away.

In the case of a non-applicator tampon, the tampon is taken out of its wrapping and then carefully inserted into the vagina using a finger (or two). Non-applicator tampons often generate a squeamish factor since a woman’s finger may come in contact with her menstrual fluid due to the proximity of the tampon/finger during insertion. However, with enough practice, one can easily insert an applicator-less tampon without explicit contact. Applicator-less tampons are also considered more environmentally friendly due to the lack of plastic/cardboard required for the applicator portion. They are also easier to carry due to the size (only the tampon portion) and the retail package is small. Figure 3 is typical non-applicator tampon.

(Fig 3.) Compact box and non-applicator tampon

Once the tampon is saturated, it must be withdrawn from the vagina and that is where the string comes into play. When the tampon is properly inserted, the only thing that hangs out from the body is the string. When pulled, the string withdraws the tampon from within the vagina. Tampons can be disposed of by way of garbage/sanitary bin or flushed down the toilet (majority of the APPLICATORS are non-flushable, only the tampon).

Being an internal form of protection, tampons become a gift for those who want to engage in water sports during menstruation. However, tampons are also associated with TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome). TSS is a rare, but potentially fatal illness which is caused by bacteria toxins. TSS does not only occur through tampon usage, however, is associated with tampon usage, especially when using higher absorbency than necessary. This is a key point for men purchasing tampons to ensure that the tampon absorbency is only what is necessary – unlike pads since you can use any absorbency without fatal-health risks. While tampons can be used overnight, many women tend often use tampons during the day and pads at night. Tampons should only be left in for a maximum of 8 hours to reduce the risk of TSS. Furthermore, tampons should only be used while menstruating, not for discharge and not for “just-in-case” scenarios. Personally, all of tampon-using female friends still keep a variety of tampons AND pads, because both forms of feminine hygiene products have their merits. For women with heavier flows or those who do not have the luxury of being able to change constantly, a tampon and pad can be worn at the same time to lengthen the amount of time required per change (since the saturated tampon will leak onto the pad).

Many tampons have special properties or features, brand dependent such as Tampax Compak’s where the applicator starts off in a collapsed form and can be extended into its full form and then inserted. The result is an applicator tampon in half the regular size, easy to carry in a purse/bag or even wallet. O.B. tampons come in a regular outer coating and also one that is made from silk, apparently to ease insertion issues. There are many variety of tampons, even within its own brands. The world of tampons is immensely large, who knew that just a simple menstrual product like this could have so many different properties and enhancements that draws girls with different needs to use them. The list goes on and since this is supposed to be “basics”, I’ll stop here. If there are any further questions or comments, feel free to email me or leave a comment here! If I can answer them, I will.. if not, I have plenty of girl-friends who I can ask for more information.

Toodles!

– K

Hey, I’m Just Like the 24-million Poor Guys!

I found this really (partially) amusing article and I kinda laughed but at the same time hung my head in shame, lol. I really didn’t expect to post so much “opinion” stuff on this site, but turns out I will anyways. I do hope that after a blog or two I’ll be able to complete my 2nd half of the how-two blogs, “Tampon Basics for Men” – but I keep on getting caught up on commenting on blogs I find!

Anyways, the article I was referring is linked in my trackback, but you can also find it here. It talks about how there are 24 Million poor Chinese Men who don’t qualify for the many rich Hong Kong women. This article caught my attention because it actually made myself question whether I classify as one of those 24 million poor Chinese men, LOL. An exercpt from the blog:

However, they have fairly high standards for men such as 1) Legally single, age 35-50, preferably in the same race 2) College educated with good job perspectives and capable of building a solid career in Hong Kong 3) Healthy physically & mentally. No drugs, no alcoholic, no smoker. Heterosexual. 4) Interested in the far east, especially HK and China, and are willing to relocate.  As a result, the poor Chinese men are no match for them. (If you meet the qualifications, please let us know).

I wasn’t quite sure where I fit on the line.. lol.. I don’t fit between the age bracket defined in #1…. I fulfill part of #2 in that I have post-secondary education and already hold a steady job and own my own business, but it is in Canada, not HK… #3 I fulfill (or think I do, lol)… #4 I’m “interested” but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to relocate – two different things, hah…. so hrm.. I think I’m part of the 24 million statistic XD

Honestly, when I went back to HK just in 2009, I swear all the girls were already all hooked up. They talk about how there are so many of these rich HK girls but I sure as hell don’t see them. Everywhere I go, the girl is already latched on to a guy. Further reading into this, I laughed and cringed at the same time…

Poor Chinese men have traditional Chinese values.” – I guess that makes me poor, because I have traditional Chinese values… blah 😛
Thus, a Chinese man with very traditional values might have difficulties accepting a wife who is just as educated or capable and earns just as much as he does if not more .” – Hrm… I’d rather my wife be intelligent and capable? If she earns more than me, hot damn, I’ve won the lottery 😀 I’ll just ‘help her’ spend some of her money too, lol.
He might feel his position as head of the family being challenged, and his manhood threatened .” Ok.. maybe a bit on  the whole “head of the family” thing..  but manhood? Bah… my manhood is between my legs -__- Having lived in Canada so long though, I have to admit I severely had to change my idea of the whole “Man must be head of the household” thing – lest I forever be single in North America. I hope I can find a traditional Chinese girl who doesn’t mind letting me lead though 😛
This is why many Hong Kong men prefer marrying more submissive women from mainland China than their locals.” – Urg… no China girls for me please.. just HK or other Asian countries =\
“If I meet a person who shares my interests, beliefs, goals and vision in life, I would marry him”, says a single lady in Hong Kong.” – Seriously, I need to pay more attention this time when I go back at the end of the year… I never hear about girls wanting to get married in HK anymore.. blah.

So after reading the article (and the attached one) – it kinda made me sheepishly grin. There has definitely been a massive change in personality of Hong Kong girls though over the past 10 years, shockingly so… HK has become such an “open” place whereas just years ago, the girls were conservative and very traditionally minded. I have problems finding a girl who still holds traditional values yet with a modern-age mentality. I know that sounds rather contradictory, but I do want a balance between carrying on our culture/traditions while merging it with today’s modern expectations. You could say I want a girl that offers me the “best of both worlds” – hard to find eh.. especially in the small city where I live.

You could say most of the time, I hide myself… especially from the very nature of golddigging girls that unfortunately have flocked into the city where I live. I have talked to the many girls from Hong Kong and China and listening to them talk about what they want from a guy, 1) good looks, 2) money… scares me – it takes the  trust I have away from wanting to end up with a Chinese girl. What happened to the girls who valued the traditional role of a man? If I was alive in the 70’s, I’d be the guy every girl would want to be with… stable family, wealthy family background, owns his house, owns his car, no debt, top 2 percentile of credit rating, financially stable, regular day job (no weekend/shift/ot req’d), owns his own business, decently healthy (working on those abs, LOL), wants to be a loving boyfriend/husband/father, good moral character etc. yet, there are very few girls left who value those things anymore. God damn, sometimes I wish I was born 20 years earlier, when I would’ve been “the cream of the crop” and what every woman would want… someone who can provide for her, love her and care for her. Not even looking far away from me, the Chinese girls I know have these freakishly unrealistic or frivolous expectation of what they want out of their guy. That is why I have always resorted to looking poor, I don’t want to be the guy that gets to girls because she knows I have money. I live in a modest house, drive a modest car, wear modest clothing – but nothing that would  ever hint to a girl about my financial status, because that makes me uneasy. If she loves me, it really shouldn’t matter about the money I have in my bank and it’s to deter your typical golddigging Chinese girls from even bothering with me – I prefer they stay away.

Over the years, my expectations of girls have changed greatly… and I think this is true for almost any individual (of any gender) – however, I am quite attuned with how my expectations have changed. I’ve conformed both to changes in society and personally – what is considered acceptable these days, the expectations of relationships within North America, changes in my maturity levels, changes based on reality, etc. Part of the issue is that I set some pretty high standards, yet, I know I return just enough – but there aren’t that many girls who think like me anymore. It is saddening given that the article addresses about all the single HK women available, lol…. they sure as hell need to start coming to Canada more! I could go on all day explaining all the changes I’ve evaluated over the years of growing up – but then we’d be here all night.

This blog is really just me blabbing.. probably one of the worst written blogs ever… has horrible flow (sorry my period-related puns, lol), unclear thoughts, terrible grammatical structure, and me ranting about something that most of my readers don’t care about, hah. Well, I suppose I’ll just let it go here and gather my thoughts for tomorrow and the day after for an “on-topic” post. I couldn’t help but laugh after reading this article – although feeling a little shame inside because of my failures within the relationship realm given that there’s supposedly all these high-class, available girls, LOL. Time to go to sleep and dwell on my tampon basics and begin writing it tomorrow. If there’s something anyone wants me to highlight on in my guide, feel free to let me know and as always… if there are girls who find fault with something I’ve written, please let me know so I can correct it…!

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