Connecting Through Chemistry
I thought I’d write something a bit abstract today, rather than my usual period-postings since it’s a Friday. For the past while, I’ve been pondering something one of my ex’s have said to me. Now, you might wonder why I seem to talk about my ex’s a lot, it is because all my ex’s with the exception of one, I keep in touch with – some, on even a regular basis. I’m a believer that just because two people didn’t make it to the final stretches of a relationship, doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. Sometimes, this connection even helps break barriers because we might say stuff like, “Hey, remember when we…..?” and it brings back a lot of happy memories. I know it is very typical for most people to cut contact with those whom they have broken up with, but I really think that’s just a nasty closure to things, unless we’re talking about break ups as a result of infidelity or abuse. I truly cherish all the girls who have ever been a part of my life, and most of my ex’s can probably read and attest to this 🙂
Nevertheless, today, I’m going to cover how amazing it is to connect with similar people or maybe, even people who you have striking chemistry with. A lot of the people I’ve met in my life, I’ve gotten to know them over time and began to enjoy their company. However, there’s only maybe a handful of people who’ve I met that I could say that I “instantly click” with – and this doesn’t cover just girls, I’m talking about guy-friends as well. This recent summer, I met a friend through a distant relative… they go to the same school and she just happened to tag along. She was outspoken, but not shy, we talked a bit and it was very relaxed, not tense like most “first-time meet” situations. We maybe spoke for 20 minutes at most before she had to leave, because the person she came with had alternate plans for the day and they were dropping by just to say hi.
Through Facebook, I managed to find this new-found friend and decided to take a shot and add her… hell, if she doesn’t accept, there’s no loss – LOL. Luckily for me, she accepted my request and through there, we chatted a bit through wall-to-wall and kind of indirectly got to know each other. I honestly didn’t think either of us were shy at all, we talked like we really knew each other, lol. Since most of you probably don’t know me very well, I’m one of those people who can talk for 3-4 hours without wincing. I decided it kind of got spammy talking over Facebook, as it’d fill up each others pages when it’d be more efficient to talk over IM. She had her email address as part of the FB profile, so I went and sent her a request.
At first, getting used to talking directly over IM was a bit of an ice breaker, but once we go through all of that, messages were flying back and forth. We’d talk about drama series, games, things we did during the day, our friends, life, etc. the list could go on forever. Although we talk every couple of days, we never seem to run out of topics to talk about. She’s busy with school and I’m busy with work and although those both are very mundane things, we never seem to have problems conjuring something up to talk about. You might wonder why I bring this up as a worthy topic, but I remember when my ex-ex girlfriend and I broke up, we were trying to mend things together over a course of 3-4 years. We really wanted to make the best of what we had, remember the happiness of the past, while moving forward with our new lives. I keenly remember asking her, “How can we be friends again?” (we had problems maintaining a conversation with each other without ending up in an argument or the conversation would die out after 10-20 messages) and she replied to me that friends don’t have to look for topics to talk about and they shouldn’t have to think about everything they say just so it doesn’t offend one another. Although I knew the truth, I didn’t want to believe it, but through this friend, she has proven to me that friends don’t need to find things to topic about, rather, conversations flow freely and without worry. I actually believe my ex-ex was a good 2-3 years younger than me, yet her mindset was so much more mature a few years ago.
Anyways, this friend of mind is really fun to talk to and it’s too bad she doesn’t come on every night 😛 When we do talk, I swear sometimes we totally drag each other on and on until one of us calls it quits, lol. Almost every time we talk, we have set a time “when we’re going to get off” but our “bye” ends up in another 30 minute conversation 😀 I don’t think we ever bore each other, somehow we just have things to talk about, whether something serious or something completely informal. Every once in a while we’ll drop each other offline messages and it just brightens up the day. You know how most people have a friend that they look forward to talking to everyday or just hearing something as simple as, “Hey, how are things going?” – she’s one of those types! If you think we know each other really well and that’s the reason why we connect, let me say upfront that we’ve only met in person once, lol. The age gap between us is huge… I think 6 years, yet we get along really well. Sometimes we’re pretty geeky when it comes down to talking, haha, we’re so lazy sometimes that instead of talking online in front of a computer, we’ll actually talk to each other through IM on our phones 8) Last night, she just told me she’s planning to get a new iPhone, so things will be even more geeky when we’re playing iPhone games and talking IM at the same time, lol. Geeky yar?
She’s really nice and easy to get along with and honestly, I think I talk to her more than my distant relative (who I met her through). I’m not sure if it’s because we’re closer in age than my relative (since I think she’s like 1-2 years even younger), but when it comes to talking, we “click”. I’m not saying as if our conversations have never went silent before, but a lot of it has to do with us being preoccupied with something. I remember a few days ago, she kept on sending me Youtube videos while I was trying to practice my presentation… and instead of doing that, we ended up watching YT clips, hahaha.. such a horrible influence she is on me 😉 Nevertheless, last night, she was trying to get her project done and we ended up talking for 3 hours until she was like “OMG, I really need to finish this tonight…” and she mentioned having to stay up – but I certainly hope she didn’t pull an all-nighter! I’m not sure whether it is a good idea when we start talking to each other – lol, although I admit she has a lot more willpower than me to stop…. what can I say, I’m conversationally-addicted! I think we both realize that the only time we should talk to each other is when we don’t have anything pressing to do, haha… or else it is just beacuse we intentionally procrastinate what we’re supposed to be doing 😀
So ya… through something that my ex-ex said to me almost 3 years ago, it suddenly dawned upon me that even between friends, chemistry exists to a degree where there are people who you can talk to and those who you can really talk to and it makes all the difference in a day. I find myself feeling more cheerful when I get to talk to her, she makes me laugh, smile and sometimes even hold my stomach in pain. Sometimes getting to know someone isn’t even about seeing that person face-to-face everyday, it is about effective, engaging and meaningful communication. I feel grateful that I can make friends like these, because with a world this vast, it is not every day you meet a person that you look forward to talk to and enjoy every moment of it. We connect even when we’re not joking around or talking about something we enjoy, but we’ve had serious conversations about matters before that still are enjoyable and is a way for us to get to know each other. These are perhaps, once-in-a-lifetime friends that while you might make many friends throughout your lifetime, there are the select few that you’d trust everything on your mind and speak at-ease.
I’ve found that over the past few months, I’ve been a lot more grateful to my friends, to people I meet and even acquaintances. Life is wonderful when you have people around you who you truly enjoy being with and can relate to. While we both grew up in very separate environments, her – the typical Hong Kong snooty princess and I, the poor immigrant – those things are simply overlooked when we’re talking. It is through talking to dissimilar, yet similar people that we find ourselves, learn about others and merge wisdom by having friends from every background, culture, gender, sexual orientation, race and experiences. She messaged me today and I missed her – I hate that! Now who knows when the next time I’ll see her online will be, lol, she’s a busy bee like that!
But anyways, to close off the night, for those who don’t keep up with my “happenings”, I recently took up Tae Bo, for those who don’t know what it is, see the Wikipedia quote:
Tae Bo is an aerobic exercise routine that became popular in the 1990s. It was developed by taekwondo practitioner Billy Blanks and was one of the first “cardio-boxing” programs to enjoy commercial success. Such programs use the motions of martial arts at a rapid pace designed to promote fitness. The name Tae Bo is a portmanteau of tae kwon do and boxing. 
Blanks developed the routine in 1976 by combining dance with elements from his martial arts and boxing training to form a workout regimen. During the 1990s, a series of videos were mass-marketed to the public; by 1999 an estimated 1 billion sets of videos had been sold on the back of a frequently aired television infomercial. As a result, Tae Bo became somewhat of a pop culture phenomenon in the late 1990s. Gyms began offering kickboxing-based fitness classes similar to Tae Bo. Since Blanks had taken out a trademark on the name they were not allowed to use the term Tae Bo without paying a licensing fee. Tae Bo videos and DVDs continue to rank among the top sellers in the fitness genre and derivative classes are still offered at many gyms.
Tae Bo classes are taught worldwide. Tae Bo includes many of the same punches and kicks as karate, but is not intended for fighting—it was not meant for any combat or self-defense applications. There are no throws, grappling moves, or ground fighting techniques in Tae Bo. Its only intent is to increase fitness through movement. Tae Bo also includes aerobic exercises intended to strengthen all muscles of the body with basic choreography.
The high-intensity workout is intended to increase cardiovascular fitness, strength, muscular endurance and flexibility.
Although I was doing a Quattro fitness workout for about 3 weeks, I’ve found it to be extremely boring and is not as engaging as Tae Bo. Furthermore, while I was working out my abs and legs, I found very little effect when it came to trying to sweat off the weight or help to get my heart pumping. Although I’m less than a week into Tae Bo, I can tell you I’m very pleased with it and it already has visible effects to my cardiovascular strength. I used to get tired very easily doing lifting, running or any type of “heart-intensive” movements. Over the week, I’ve found each day my heart pounds less hard after every work out – I feel energized and refreshed (although a bit smelly… ya, sweat doesn’t smell good). After 30 minutes (of 44 minutes) I’m drenched in sweat, my heart is getting a good work-out and it relaxes ALL the muscles in my body. Besides swimming, I could never come up with an activity that would target the entire body. So far, I’ve still failed to complete the entire circuit all in one go as I start losing strength about half an hour through, but it is my goal that I will be able to do a few minutes more each day until I am able to do the entire 44-minute run.
I have several friends who have done or still do, Tae Bo and one of the best results that came of it was 25 lbs over 3 months. If I’m able to lose 25 lbs of fat I’ll be off to a damn good start! One of my coworkers did say that I should expect to gain some weight at first because I’m now converting this fat into muscles, thus, my overall weight will go up until the fat is burned off. I’m not so much concerned about my weight per se, but I need to slender-down my body and tone a few places, most notably my face. Asian people tend to have rounder facial structures, therefore, whenever we gain “meat on our faces” it tends to show a LOT (one of the things that suck about being Asian). On a regular white male, “fat faces” don’t seem to appear until we’re talking about grossly excessive weight. For instance, my coworker who I just mentioned weighed 260lbs at one point and looking at some old photos of him, even though he was “big”, his face did not show it. I weigh way less than than him, yet I have a terrible “fat face” problem 😐 See, when fat is elsewhere, it can be “hidden” via clothes, but it is rather hard to hide my face, lol.
So I’m really hopeful that Tae Bo will be one of the workouts I’ll be able to stick to and in all reality, my lack of success from these exercises is that I feel disengaged and lack motivation. Because Tae Bo is fun, I’m hoping it will act as a motivator and because Billy Blanks does a good job of keeping his assistants energized that it really adds to the workout and fueling my energy. A large reason why I switched from the previous workout as well is because I started getting pains and I recently even hurt my neck I think. I must’ve pulled a muscle or pinched a nerve because for the past few days it felt like someone was jabbing pins into the neck. Once I finish Tae Bo, that pain actually goes away for a good 6-8 hours! Clearly this exercise even has medicinal effects, lol. Obviously whatever exercises were incorporated into the previous workout was not suited for me or perhaps I didn’t have the right form. Nevertheless, finding something that gets my heart beating, blood flowing and most importantly, sweating like a pig, will help get rid of that fat!
I am soooooooooo tired tonight it is not even funny. I had to visit 2 sites today and go through 3 back-to-back meetings. I’m drained physically and psychologically as there’s so much on my mind! I need to sleep before I wake up with keyboard keys stuck to my face, lol.
Night my valued readers 🙂
P.S Feminine Hygiene sales from flyers are going up tomorrow, not all the pictures were available today so I didn’t want to post them up without it….
Posted on February 20, 2010, in Personal and tagged Asian, Blog, Chinese, Culture, Exercise, Facebook, Family, Friends, Friendship, Life, My Life, People, Personal, Tae Bo, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.