Monthly Archives: March 2010

A Realistic Approach to Feminism – Menstruation

Read a really great entry today by at Yankee Doodle Sweetheart pertaining to a very realistic approach towards feminism. Although not being female, I cannot relate to the inequalities applied to them, I do believe that many headway has been made in society to tackle the injustices women face. Nevertheless, I think some feminists I’ve read before “take it too far” and simply look at how they are treated, rather than men and women as a whole. The blog I linked to above, truly gives insight on a very practical feminist, one who looks at the bigger picture and not simply that they’re “out to bring down men.”

Part of what made me link to her entry is also the fact she brings to light issues surrounding menstruation, such as the need for both girls and boys to have true knowledge about periods and the likes. Not only that, but she also believes the information about menstruation should be equal for both genders, even if males never have to actually deal with a menstrual cycle. To me, this entry echos the many reasons of the existence of this blog, to reinforce knowledge that men should know about the female body!

Although I cannot say I’ve taken too much time being a feminist activist or anything like that, I can certainly agree to many (if not all) the points she articulates within the entry. Please do drop by there and take a look and see the wonderful thoughts of a woman who is bargaining for equality on behalf of both men and women!

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eBay Snatches and Weekly Sales #6

I figured with the amount of work required to extract each picture from flyers, it is best to simply provide the sale information each week. Also, I will be merging eBay deals into the same post to conserve posting space.

These deals are only applicable to select regions of Canada, Ontario. Please verify these sales against your local flyer or e-flyer before purchase!

Weekly Sales

Shoppers Drug Mart

Assorted Kotex Maxi Pads (14-24’s) and Liners (33-48’s) for $1.99

Zellers

Double-Pack Tampax Cardboard Applicator Tampons with 5-bonus Tampax Compak Tampons for $7.59

Double-Pack Always Maxi Pads Super or Overnights with 3-bonus Always Infinity Pads for $7.59

Walmart

Assorted Tampax Pearl Tampons (36’s) or Always Infinity Pads (32’s) for $8.00

Pharma Plus and Rexall Chains

Assorted Always Maxi Pads (24-36’s) or Liners (68-120’s) or Tampax Tampons (40’s) for $6.99

Sobeys

Playtex Gentle Glide Tampons (36’s) for $8.99

Food Basics

Assorted Kotex Maxi Pads (14-24’s) and Liners (40-48’s) for $3.29


eBay Snatches

Lot of 13 New StayFree Maxi Regular *312* Pads Total
Current Price: $0.99 as of this posting

POISE PADS 168 LONG MAXI ULTRA + CASE BLADDER CONTROL
Current Price: $34.99 as of this posting

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And also, found a great deal via thanks to Smartcanucks community @ Always and Tampax Samples

Samples provided by Beinggirl

I Pay, You Pay — Whatever

I was just thinking the other day how much “paying” for a meal or whatnot is a large issue for Chinese people. In Hong Kong, there have actually been reported fights breaking out as a result of two individuals who wanted to pay the bill. Sounds weird right, what normal person wouldn’t let another person pay for the bill? LOL. On that note though, I’m writing this entry because I know of a family that particularly irks me when it comes to paying for meals.

To really help you make sense of this post, when family-friends and us get together, our method is simple… either one of us takes care of the entire bill or we simply split it evenly between all the people. Obviously this depends on the number of people eating, the type of food we ate and if there are any occasions that warrant a single person/family paying. I should point out that I highly doubt any of us “keeps track” per se, when it comes to paying. We don’t calculate the number of times of who paid and how much, we just treat each other back-and-forth and don’t explicitly keep on a piece of paper all those statistics. If anything, we simply take it in-stride and guesstimate paying for each others meals. Sometimes they are more frequent of smaller amounts and sometimes less frequent with larger amounts. Either way, all of us treat each other like family and we don’t bother stressing over small details as to “who-owes-who-what.

There is this one particular family… consisting of mom, dad and son. They are part of our general family-friends group and although when it comes to other things, I don’t mind them, they are extremely frivolous when it comes to money expended on meals. Like are you kidding me? Their household income is NOT low and compared to many of us within the group, they are well-off, so to imagine their cheapness when it comes to a dollar-or-two of difference amuses and shocks us. I have become bitter over this when I eat with them, especially over an incident that occurred about a month ago.

We ate at a buffet and the buffet naturally charges a lower price for their son who is still considered the “children” price. The price difference is about $4 less. So when it comes to splitting the bill at the end, I did a simple mathematical calculation. I took the entire total, added tips and split it between everyone, like usual. No one said a word, then at the end, the father says their portion is “unusually expensive” compared to everyone else. I showed him the amount on the calculator, then he said, “But my sons price is cheaper…” and then the mom pipes up, “That’s outrageous, why are we paying more when his meal costs less?“… I wanted to fucking scream and tell them they’re retarded because we’ve always split the bill per person and when THEY get to take advantage, they say nothing… but now that they’re paying an extra dollar they notice? Are you fucking kidding me? Your son orders expensive drinks that EVERYONE ELSE pays for and you don’t complain, but complain about the extra portion of the $4 discount (that’s also split between everyone else, which means they’re only paying 75-cents more) that you didn’t get?

Don’t get me wrong, I could hardly care less that your son orders an expensive drink while everyone else gets cheaper or free (water) drinks, since you split it between that many people, everyone’s only paying an extra few cents, but seriously.. if you want to calculate it bit by bit, we’ll do that. What infuriates me is that a lot of the times when we go to other restaurants, one of the “aunts” in her fucking retarded wisdom doesn’t count the child. Hello, is he really a child anymore? He’s 13.. he’s going through puberty, he eats MORE food than my mom and I put together and so should my mom and I get a discount off the split? Should he pay MORE because he EATS so much more? Hey wait a second… how come when we get the bill and your child doesn’t get counted, you don’t say, “Hey, you guys forgot to count my child, he ate too so he should pay…“? Ya, tell me why that is when things are to your advantage, you don’t say anything but when you have to pay an extra 75-cents you moan like a fucking little kid who lost their candy?

So my resolve has been from now on to make sure that when eating with them, just THAT particular family unit, that I ensure EVERY portion YOUR child eats, every drink YOUR child orders, is calculated dead-on-the-dot. If everyone else orders no drinks and your son does, YOU will pay for HIS drink, not US. From now on, I will calculate the bill and not defer it to your idiotic sister who thinks we don’t notice when she doesn’t count your son. I am not stupid, I will not allow your sister to think she can slide it underneath me that in fact, I am not only paying for my mother and I’s meal, but that of your nephew. No, when he orders drinks, we will not pay his share, because you refuse to pay for ours. You want to play accountant? I can too, because interestingly enough, I happen to have been awarded a community-recognition of Accounting Excellence when I graduated high school and have enough knowledge about numbers to tell the different whether I am covering for YOUR liability (a.k.a your son).

To recap, when I eat with you:

  • I will not allow anyone else to divide the numbers, I will do it for you, on a neat little program I have on my iPhone
  • I will ensure that if your son orders something no one else does, you are fronting that portion up
  • I will be relentless and you will pay for every meal portion and drink up-to-the-cent
  • I will not treat you to a meal, because in reality, I owe you NOTHING
  • I am not retarded and I do know when you are taking advantage of us and for your face/sake, I am not saying anything outright
  • As with the above point, your sister is equally stupid thinking that I do not notice when I am covering a portion of your son
  • Your son is not a child, he eats more than most adults, therefore if anything, don’t try to order things at the end, pack it up as tomorrow’s lunch/dinner – you can pay separately for that
  • When we eat buffets, each person/family will have a separate bill, most buffets are quite capable of doing those splits – hey, do you think you’re ordering that $5 drink anymore now that you have to pay for it fully?
  • You don’t get the left overs, don’t try… if I have to, I will eat it all, barf it back out or shit it back out in its ORIGINAL form, but don’t think just because you over-order, we pay, that you get to take it home

Inherently, I am not a cheap person, especially when it comes to people I love, family and friends. I have closed my eyes and dropped $100-300 to cover for an entire luxury meal before. I have paid for a meal for 20 people before, it did not faze me and I was quite happy to do so. When I eat out with my white friends, even though I order less, we all split the bill evenly. I refuse to let girls pay, whether they are my god-sisters, girlfriend or an aunt, it is the right gentlemanly thing to do to front up the bill. I tip generously, even though I have never held a waitering job. My Dad has however and has expressed to me how hard these people work for their money and if they provided good service, they deserve it. When carpooling, I usually offer to take my car because I enjoy driving and I would incur that driving cost anyways to drive myself. Although these things do not necessarily fully represent the person I am, surely, you can believe I’m not the type to care about every penny. However, should you choose to do that with me, I will ensure that whatever your bill comes to and every morsel you ate or drink you drank, it will be your responsibility to cover.

Menstrual Cups… Gross? Educate Yourself!

No big update today, sorry… talking to a lot of people on MSN right now, lol.

But… I was completely outraged today after seeing an author make a horrible statement against menstrual-cups. Go figure, it was a male author (judging by the name). I found it only because I also happened to be reading a post made by another author, expressing her own positive experience with menstrual cups.

Likewise, I’d be happy to make a note about the way cups and alternative menstrual protection are slowly changing the way women deal with menstruation. The offending author writes that menstrual cups are… “possibly the grossest feminine hygiene product ever created.” Yes, that is right, I want to kick him in the face for making such a statement while being oblivious to the items. Too bad this guy is putting males to shame with such a statement. Wish he took some time to do a bit of research about all the benefits before putting his fingers on the keyboard.

Feel free to read more about her views of menstrual cups and its benefits on her site!

Purchasing Feminine Hygiene Savvy

Thanks for letting me borrow your arm ^__^

Having been through many purchases of feminine hygiene products before, I can definitely relate to some of the discomforts of purchasing these things. Whether for a sister, girlfriend or wife, practice and doing it often is the only way to overcome discomforts and sometimes even embarrassment of making these purchases, especially when done as a “solo purchase” (with no other items). Nevertheless, practice makes perfect, whether it comes down to making sure you buy the right item or being able to look at the eyes of the cashier. It has been many years since I’ve made my first purchases and given all my cute little god-sisters, buying such items with or without them is a fairly regular routine. After a while, it no longer fazes you and just like shopping for fruits, vegetables or chips, it is even enjoyable with all the different brands and types.

I decided to make a post with a few thoughts that come to mind to help with the purchase of feminine hygiene products for the guys. This might also be some good tidbits for younger girls who have recently started her period. This is not a direct addition to my Men’s Guide to Feminine Hygiene as it may or may not contain some information provided before. If it confuses you, see this as a completely new and unrelated post. Sometimes I really have random thoughts… wish I wrote them down more often because I can’t remember them by the time I start typing things up. Here are some “savvy” things you could do to such as…

– Check your local stores, flyers or e-flyers for specials and sales… even though I hate media coverage of feminine products, pay attention to advertisements too

– Be a smart shopper, use coupons in flyers, print-outs or even mailed-to-you coupons from places like save.ca. It is often elusive since stores might not advertise it, but they may even have walk-in coupons available in related aisles or at the entrances of the store (See picture)

Find coupon dispensers or "rippable" coupons near the products you are buying or at the entrances of the store

– Get to know your prices well, what is considered cheap, regular and expensive. Don’t forget to be aware that there are a variety of quantities for packs/boxes so don’t forget these factors when comparing prices

– Generally warehouses, pharmacies or chain supermarkets will sell pads/tampons cheaper than a convenience (gas station) or small store. Avoid shopping at places that offer “last minute” services as they will likely charge higher markups

– Take time to analyze your purchase… it may help you in the future to really get to know the product you are buying. Don’t hurriedly put the items in your basket or taking it to checkout before ensuring it is the right one as much as you may not want to be caught reading the package

– If you truly feel self-conscious when going to the checkout, pick self-service counters or lanes that are serviced by an older male or female, they are more likely to have experience dealing with such items and will think nothing of it. Younger cashiers are more likely to make a scene of things or make comments. Some pharmacies even have their personalized checkouts, consider using those if available and they are willing to register your items

– Show pride when making the purchase. Why should you not be? You probably have a loving sister, girlfriend or wife waiting for them 🙂 The more shy or uncomfortable you appear, the more attention you will likely attract to yourself, such as saying or doing something stupid

– Avoid staring at other girls making purchases in the feminine hygiene aisle; it just makes you look like a pervert, lol. Yes yes, I know for us flow-lovers that in the back of my mind we appreciate menstruating women and have all sorts of sexy and crazy thoughts, but fantasies and dreams are different than actually sizing a gal down… that is unless you know she’s into that sort-of-thing

– If you see another male in the feminine hygiene aisle, no worries, you are both likely to be in the same boat

– If you feel embarrassed upon every checkout, stock-up so you don’t have to “suffer” as many times… honestly though, get over yourself, you are not going to lose your job because you were caught buying pads and tampons

– Suggest reusable items to your female companion as they will reduce the frequency of you having to make purchases on her behalf… reusable cloth pads or cups are economical, environmentally-friendly and do not require regular purchases

– Another thing about purchasing comfort is that if you’re doing further shopping, bag your feminine hygiene items using reusable cloth bags… they’re generally non-transparent so no one can see what you’ve purchased

– Buying in bulk reduces not only reduces the frequency of your purchases, but also, you will likely get a better price-per-unit

– Take advantage of online communities or resources dedicated to finding “good deals” and stay up top of the newest products, free samples or upcoming discounts. Even sites such as eBay may connect you with sellers who are selling feminine hygiene products at reduced costs to get it out of their way

– Consider the usage  length of the product when comparing purchasing quantity/price ratio. For instance, if the product needs to only be changed once for every 2 of another item, you have already saved 50% of the usage of another product. When using higher absorbency products, for example, not only do you reduce the frequency of change and you’ve also prevented additional waste ending up in the landfills (even if larger absorbency products might be larger/thicker, it is not an entirely separate item itself)

A Little is a Lot

The other day, I was musing over the stark contrast over the two sides of my family. On one side, I can return home and be treated like a king. I can have my slippers at my bedside, breakfast brought to me, someone to wash my face when I get up, not wash my own clothing, can order foot anytime I want and even if I really wanted to have my ass wiped for me after taking a crap. However, looking on the other side of my family, it is a major contrast… where my aunt at is working for just enough money for flat-rental and enough to cover for food. At the end of the month, savings = $0 unless it is a lucky month or they picked up some weekly sales. Their lifestyle is unhealthy, often eating fast-foods because it is cheap and easy. I saw my aunt last year when I went to visit her and boy did she ever gain weight. After my grandmother passed away a few years, there were no longer good healthy meals or broth to drink. Almost everyone in that household gained weight from poor eating habits and stress. One side is living in subsidized government housing and the other half is living in multi-…. well nevermind, you get the idea.

A few months ago, we were told my Grandfather (maternal) had been diagnosed with intestinal cancer and some other small illnesses. Given that he will be turning 90 this year, he honestly couldn’t care less and didn’t worry too much about it. He felt he lived his life, but of course my aunts would want to seek medical assistance for him. After several months of tests, surgeries, and days in the hospital, I am happy to say he’s about to return home healthy! However, because private hospitals were the only chance of him surviving, it also meant my aunt had to pay for all the medical expenses. Given my aunt normally makes just enough to cover for rental and food, she had to do major modification to finances just to make ends meet. I thought to myself the other day how brave and selfless she is and it moved me. Of course not only that, but also since he is my grandfather, the little bit I could do for him (since they’re 13,000 km’s away) is to provide some financial assistance. The money was to be sent in the form of an encouragement for him to stay strong and healthy and to give him food to buy some good food/herbs to strengthen his body and whatever left to be a “treat” to spend on whatever he likes. I sent him a few thousand dollars which to me, I could say is a lot or a little. To my dad’s side however, the minuscule amount of money I sent would be a joke, however, my mom called my aunt the other day and she was so thankful as she’d now be able to cover the hospital fees for quite a while (backdated).

I started thinking how “little” something could be to someone but “how much” something could be to another. I am not very rich myself (family is another thing) and all the money I could shell out was sent, what I hardly considered a fortune, but them, it was like I just sent them a winning lottery ticket. What I can say though is the amount of happiness I felt when she sent her words of gratitude just took my breath away. Although I recognize that sending money is not really the best way to show care for my grandfather, it is all I can do for now until I return to Hong Kong later this year. I also told me mom that we’d hold a “big 90th birthday” celebration for him – because surely, it is not everyday that families are able to celebrate a 90th birthday together. To think of how little my mom’s side can live on while looking at the way my dad’s side spends money and the wealth we’re submerged in really makes makes my head spin! I think about some of the meals we eat and realize the money we spent could likely be an entire family’s monthly meal on my mom’s side. Oh, how life is unfair sometimes.

Today I was called on an emergency by one of my uncles to help one of his nieces. We’re “relatives” so technically, the girl I was helping isn’t really a cousin – but certainly, in Chinese culture I would definitely consider her “one of my own” – especially because we did spend time together as kids when they lived in Canada. Nevertheless, I felt very happy today because of the gratitude she showed. She insisted on paying me for my services to help her fix her computer (well and I had to travel about 100 km’s) but she did treat me to lunch. I should mention it isn’t one of those “cheapie” Japanese restaurants, it was a nice upscale REAL Japanese restaurant… not all-you-can-eat, but the ones that cost an arm and a leg for each item, lol. Whenever I eat out with people, I still look for the “worth” of an item and do not order frivolously just because I’m not paying. She found it awkward I ate only a sashimi bento. Nevertheless, the sashimi was amazing and seriously, I think I’m addicted to it, hahaha.  But anyways,back to the point was that coming from a rich family, she ordered food likes nuts (even though she couldn’t finish it) and chose an expensive place to eat, where as I, would’ve chosen a more modest place!

I think today, we were both very happy. She showed so much gratitude and appreciation and kept on thanking me throughout the day for helping her with her computer problems. Although it was a pretty expensive drive to her place and effectively killed the time I had off today, I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. Although I am not a doctor keeping people alive everyday or in a very prestigious job, I feel overly excited when people take the time to show genuine appreciation. I am turning older in a few days and that’s gotten me very down… but the past few days of doing “good deeds” have really lifted up my spirits. I truly want to believe that building good karma will help me along life, staying happy, mentally healthy and help develop my love-life. Does being a good person really result in good fortunes happening? Well, we’ll find out to see if I can really move the girl of my dreams one day… someday soon hopefully!

Good night everyone, hope today was as good for everyone as it was for me! Better yet, I have tomorrow off, so time to sleep in!

TO: My Sweet Little 表妹

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Tonight, I heard this new song by Hedly called Perfect. In this one line where they keep repeating: “I’m not perfect, but I keep trying, cuz that’s what I said I would do from the start…,” it gave me the chills.

I miss my parents, I have no idea what I’ve been doing lately.  I’m anxiously waiting for my results from MBiotech and ever since my interview I’ve been praying for this spot.  I feel so helpless… 2 years of preparation and I blew one of the parts of the interview, how can I afford to slip like that. I really hope they can see past it. Preparing for this made me want this even more that I can’t imagine doing anything else.  Waiting to graduate, waiting for results, waiting for the next step for me…. I need the extra bit of motivation to push me through the finish line.

I feel like I’m not doing the right things, I feel like I’m making bad decisions again.  How can I stop feeling this way?
I don’t have any summer plans.. I can’t even ask my supervisor about research in the summer because what if I get in? But if I don’t and I don’t let her know that I want to work as a summer student again, I will loose the chance.. I’m really lost… I don’t have any backups…. when this program is what you wanna do, how can you write another personal letter for another program? So I’ve been holding back on writing other apps. Why am I pushing myself into this hole… I know I should be doing better right now. I just can’t find the motivation to make a strong finish. I wish someone could tell me what to do…. what happens when I don’t get into the program, what’s my next step?

I’m not a perfect student, I’m not a perfect person, but I strive for perfection. What happens when perfection just doesn’t fall through in the end? It’s up to the admissions committee to decide who they want to accept, argh 32 spots… I want it so bad. I’ve been dreaming of that one day, when I can work in GSK… or Genentech and family will seem complete again.

Tonight was my chemistry exam, I knew it was going to be hard. I gave up alot of things to prepare for this exam and I feel disappointed in myself. I knew everything but during the test, I don’t know why, the things I memorized just couldn’t come out. I guess I wasn’t as prepared as I thought and maybe I just crammed way too many reagents in my head.

Whenever people say, maybe some things are just meant to be.. I don’t know if I believe in that. I’m not sure if there is a thing called fate or destiny.  I now believe that it is up in our hands to create our own destiny.  A person who believes in fate, who just sits there and wait… it all seems too idealistic.  All the way through I had to figure alot of things out on my own… I just think if I just let things take its course, I wouldn’t be standing close to where I am now. But at the same time, I can’t help but feel that there’s also up to a certain point where it’s also up to fate, like right now with my admission decision. So, is all the work up to now really even worth it when in the end, when it’s still out of your hands? Just something to think about for people who read this and were in a similar situation.

I’m feeling like a failure right now. Unlike others, this isn’t an option for me because of the circumstances I’m in. I wish I could explain but it’s just way too complicated.

I wish I could drive…. I was thinking if I got a license here, just to get out of city for a bit…. go somewhere far away from the lights and the people. Nobody seems to understand what it does for me.  Like being somewhere close to the lake or the waters, is what I need to regain my energy, I don’t know how to explain it, it’s just what I used to do and it works.  Yesterday night, I was laying in bed thinking about the days I used to go to driving range…. an activity that can get my mind off of school for a while. Or playing the piano. I used to do that…All the things that I used to do to relax me seem so far away and out of reach.

RE: The above entry

Ah, how I love watching little kids grow up… 🙂 You’re such a big girl now! Nevertheless, one always wants to strive for their best and to reach for their achievements, but perfection is not we should seek. We definitely should seek satisfaction but not through the believe we are perfect individuals with an absolute and irrefutable goal. To seek perfection in anything you do is like trying to grab at sand really hard – it is futile.

To feel homesick or simply missing family and friends who you have grown up with is not an unusual feeling. During times of our greatest need is when we feel most vulnerable and know that we can only rely on our family as back-up. No matter how great friends are and the joys of happiness they may bring, family is the only true source of unparalleled love and unconditional support. The interviewers do not expect perfection, they expect a human being, they expect a person capable of learning, they expect a person who’s mistakes are reflected and learned upon – they are not looking for someone who is perfect. We are all human and unless they are that of a holy spirit who are perfect themselves, they can bring no such expectations upon others. The motivation you bring, is stronger than mistakes and that willpower can be served elsewhere, regardless of whether you make it into a specific company or not. Where there is a will, there is a way – and that way might be or might not be where you think life may take you. Motivation cannot be generated by others, it is something that comes from within you. I could tell you all day to believe in yourself, but alas, if you do not believe in it yourself, no amount of confidence from others can help push you through.

A decision is a decision, with the ideal of “right” or “wrong” emplaced by our own standards. If you believe the decisions you have made are wrong – then they are wrong. If you believe decisions you have made are right, no one else can convince you they are wrong. Trusting our own judgments, believe in ourselves and knowing that no one decision leads to a final end will help you come to terms with decisions you make. For every step you take forward, you can take one step back – even if step-back is not in the exact same position you once stood. When things are conditional upon others, there is nothing we can do. In this world, there is only one-true thing we can control, and that is ourselves. To question things beyond our control is like questioning the meaning of life. Things will fall into or out-of-place whether we like it or not, so we should just let life run its course. On that note, to worry about whether you will or will not make it in and whether it would be necessary to reapply to the research program is unnecessary. I believe it is best to simply leave your options open and be honest with people. If you let them know of the situation, they’re more likely to sympathize and act out of humanly towards a situation. It is always best to be honest, than to leave someone blind. Rather than being definitive, simply inform people of the plans and possibilities, that way, they are more open to changes that may occur in the future.

There are many things we want in life, as humans, we crave for more and that craving is what allows society to progress. There is great strength you have for wanting to work at a place you feel comfortable and where you feel you are accomplishing the most. However, when we set goals like that,we never take time to look past at other opportunities that may be right in our faces or perhaps, worthy of consideration. You never know where life takes you, it may lead to where you want to go or it may lead you to where you never thought was once possible. Rather than expecting, simply believe, or better yet – being neither pessimistic nor optimistic but rather, a job is never the start, nor end of a career as many things will change as time progresses. What you may be doing today may not be what you’re doing tomorrow – for better, or for worse.

There is no “trick” to doing well on exams, and the only thing that a person can really do to prepare is with a semester-wide commitment to regular studying habits. Last minute studies rarely work out, things absorb so much better when done over time. Also, your mind works clearly when your body is in optimal condition and all that starts with one thing, a good night’s rest. The more you stick in your head the night before, the more likely you will confuse your brain with other things that have been long-term embedded and learned. All of a sudden, all that information you did know has now been mixed in with information which you have only recently processed. I think the word “cramming” already has implications on itself – the act of  “cramming” already has a negative connotation.

Fate and destiny are very hard subjects to approach. However, something that is undeniable is that there are things that we as an individual, simply cannot change. Whether you consider this an act of fate or destiny is up to you. While it is quite true that sitting around “waiting” for fate or destiny to act upon itself is idealistic, there truly happen just by, “being in the right place at the right time.” There are times when hard work and effort are fruitless and where negativity and lack of effort yields amazing results. Our destiny and fate are often not controlled by us, but really, in the hands of all the environment and people around us. What we cannot see and touch – it is best to be blind to, we are an observer at all things in life.

Take advantage of the fact you life in an accessible region, where renting/buying a vehicle is easy. Pick up your license, you will need it! If not, find a way of taking transportation to get you where you want to go. There is salvation in humanity and “heaven” is only a step away when we allow ourselves to relax and enjoy our surroundings. Hell is the place we suffer and feel tormented by the stresses of life and worries beyond our control. Whatever you can do to make yourself feel better, do it. Put away responsibilities and obligations for the day, they can wait. You on the other hand, always place your own priorities first. If you are not feeling happy, nothing you do will seem right. When you are feeling happy, nothing you do can feel wrong. You are surrounded by little towns to big cities, I’m sure there are plenty of places that will offer you what you need to release all that tension within you. We are like an elastic band, stretch it too much and there is only one consequence that you will be the one who ends up suffering. With good maintenance and knowing when the expand and contract, the elastic band will serve you a lifetime of usefulness.

eBay Snatches for the Week (#2)

A lot of classic products probably left from old shelves 🙂 I’m sure my fellow flow-lovers will enjoy these products should they get their hands on them!

Lot of 232 New, Sealed Tampax Tampons/16 Maxi Pads+More Current bid price as of this posting is @ $19.99

LOT OF 5 PACK STAYFREE, KOTEX & MORE SANITARY PADS 93 Current bid price as of this posting is @ $4.00

OH MY GOD!!! Classic Always Maxis - RAWR. How I miss those, ahh... the good ol' days.

ALWAYS MAXI-PADS Current bid price as of this posting is @ $3.00

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Guys, have you actually seen…

a tampon before? I mean, really seen one, not just the package or what you see on television? Most of you have never taken the time to truly know what a tampon looks like, unless you have been curious enough to ask a girlfriend or wife. Nevertheless, I figured I’d post something up for you guys to open your eyes to the intricacy of a tampon. Of course, like all of my posts, unfortunately they are related to certain brands. I’m not a promoter for these brands, it just happens to be what I have, so without further ado, I figured I’d spice this place up with some pictures and media since that’s been lacking for a while. If you’re the curious guy who has never seen the ins-and-outs of a tampon and have always been too shy to ask, here’s your chance! Knowledge is power.

Box of Tampax Compak Pearl Lites (On The Go)

Unlike regular “full-sized” tampons… this one is packaged in a compact form (thus the “compak” name), but extends to a full-sized applicator/tampon. This size is great for discreteness for the shy girls or simply for a smaller form to put into a purse, pocket or bag.

Top of the box describing all the features - sorry for the blurriness, I can't use flash otherwise you can't see anything

So what makes Tampax Pearl … pearl? Well, here are the features!

Side of the box, indicating features in details, tampon composition, absorbency information and off course the beautiful warning about how tampons can lead to DEATH (via TSS)

The instruction leaflet that comes with every box... features, warnings, usage instructions, etc. Since it requires "extension" of the applicator use, there's a diagram as well. Don't bother trying to read it, the resolution isn't high enough or clear enough - this was for reference only that it exists within the box.

Second side of the leaflet with continued instructions, including removal techniques and a diagram for vaginal insertion of the tampon

The tampon inside the wrapper, the picture is misleading due to the size/close-up, measuring a total of 10cm

Best thing is to open it from the side corresponding to the "bottom" of the applicator - tail end. Don't ask me how I know which side... I just do, can't explain it, LOL!

The look of the tampon when removed from the wrapper - very soothing colour isn't it? Look at the cute lil'tail 😛 The tampon is current in the compact form, measuring only a mere 7.5cm

The tampon when fully extended measures 11.5cm... don't worry guys, the entire length doesn't go into the girl 🙂 During insertion, the bottom half of the applicator is "pushed in" to the upper portions, thus ejecting the tampon out the front and depositing it into the vagina

Of course during regular use, it should never be like this since the tampon would already to pushed into the vagina and applicator removed, but here's a demo of the what purpose of the lower applicator being pushed into the upper one. Oh by the way, if you haven't gotten the clue already, the white wad you see is the tampon 😛

The applicator is thrown away (err… hopefully) and then the string at the bottom of the tampon lies outside the body. Some girls prefer to tuck their tampon string to prevent any faux pas, especially if they’re wearing revealing/tight clothing or swimsuit. I think for the flowlovers, none of us would be bothered by seeing a hanging string though 😆

And last but not least, just toss the applicator back into the wrapper and then throw it away!

And there you have it guys, for the ones who have never actually seen the full deal of tampons, you got your chance now! Don’t be shy, seriously, I’m sure if you knew a girl well enough, she wouldn’t be shy if you asked her about it. Girls are definitely more open about their periods than the previous generation and unless you have some REALLY uptight girl-friends, most of them would not mind teaching you a bit about pads/tampons.

Toxic Shot Syndrome (No, not SHOCK, shot!)

Found a great article written by morgueticiaatoms on the dangers of using anti-contraceptive shots. I am a big believer that some things are better left to nature, for instance, using non-invasive forms of contraceptive protection such as condoms and not tampering with your body’s hormonal functions by using things such as the pill. I understand some women might need these for medical reasons, but some do it out of convenience or reassurance. Nevertheless, tampering with your body needlessly is always a dangerous game to play and only one of my girls uses birth control pills and I’ve been trying to get her off it. It severely messed with her body, causing her to lose her period for 5 months in a row. Consequently, she practically had to induce her period to get her back to schedule. Even to today, I don’t know if her body has fully recovered and gone back to a regular monthly cycle. I feel bad for her! Having read related blogs, I’ve also noticed 4-5 other women on WordPress who have had very adverse effects using anti-contraceptive shots. One, had her period for a month, daily, starting/beginning with no pattern even AFTER she stopped using it and has taken her 2 years to rid the body of such effects.

Since I’m playing Bright Shadow at the moment, I can’t type out a full-out entry. Having received permission from the owner of the following entry, I want to post it for all the women out there to think twice and seriously seek medical consultation before using any type of hormonal-altering drug/injection.

Please note: With one of my previous posts where I reposted someone’s content… readers thought of it as my own. I am not the author of the following portions between the QUOTES, all credits belong to the respective author. Thank you!

Toxic shot syndrome

WARNING/DISCLAIMER: I am going to vent about MY experiences with the contreptive known as Depo Provera so this is not for men, children, enthusiasts,puritans,or anyone else who is easily grossed out, offended or influenced. I reiterate (for all the good it will do me) that this blog entry is based on MY experiences and mine alone and is NOT a medical commentary, anti or pro, or meant in any way to be anyone’s final deciding factor. I may toss in some things I have read or been told or simply heard but my opinion is based entirely and solely on what occurred during my use of this drug. ‘Nuff said.

A little informative just-so-you-know history. I had my first child back in August at age 36. Prior to that, I had been off all hormonal contraception since I experienced a blood clot issue with the pill in 90’s. Other than that (very serious) issue, the pill worked fine for me and was without any major side effects.

At my six week post partum exam, the nurse in my ob/gyn’s office broached the subject of birth control with me. I explained my insurance didn’t cover IUD’s. Ok, what about the pill..No go. So she suggests Depo, with the ever positive chirpy “It will make your periods go away.” Well, I have painful periods so this sounded good to me and it was something I could get from the health department or my second insurance. I talked to hubby about it, did some on line research, even talked to someone (my stepmother) who had been on Depo for over ten years and still laments about how they forced her off it onto the pill. Any time I found a potentially nasty side effect, hubby would attempt to soothe me with a reminder of how “that’s just how it was for one person” or “they have to include every single side effect even if it only happened to one person.”

Ok, so even though hubby was willing to continue with condoms, I missed the sponteneity and experience of no condom so I pondered on the Depo some more. I had really adored this nurse in my ob’s office, she was always so bright and sweet and good about making me feel less embarrassed about whatever current indignity the pregnancy had brought upon me. She also knew of my long history with depression and anxiety and the fact I was on disability for it and had been unable to be medicated for the duration of the pregnancy. (I was having breakdown towards month 8 and they decided there was less risk to put me back on certain meds than to leave me unmedicated.) So I didn’t think she would steer me wrong knowing my history.

I talked to our primary care doctor about a script for Depo and administering it in his office and he was cool with it. November 29, I got my first shot. All the peppy nurse jabbing me could talk about was how great it was that it made your periods go away and how other patients loved it so much. I resisted my doomsayer urges and chose to operate on hubby’s “hope for the best’ attitude.

Within a couple of weeks, I knew I had made a horrible mistake. It was as if whatever was in the depo cancelled my meds. I was more depressed than ever in  spite of anti depressant dosage increases. I was more jumpy,in spite of being on Xanax. Suddenly, my lethargy was increased times ten. I felt fat, gross, and like life was an utter waste of time.

My former shrink just cheerfully remarked, “It could have gone the other way and helped your depression…But it’s not the zoloft, you just don’t want it to work.” Which is why he’s my former shrink, I was almost suicidal and homicidal and he didn’t care and wouldn’t listen.

I didn’t even bother calling the primarcy care doctor, he’s rarely in the office and it took him 4 months to get back hubby’s bloodwork and even then, there was no call, no explanation, just a referral letter to a place we don’t even know takes our insurance on a date we don’t even know if hubby can go on in a town the car isn’t fit to drive to. Useless there.

And the worst part was…I had a period for 5 weeks after the first shot, 2 weeks off, another 4 weeks on, one week off, another two on, and now since I didn’t get the second shot it seems to have stopped for the time being.It was relentless, I never knew what was going on with my body on any given day because it would start, stop, almost go away, then come back. I essentially traded feeling really crappy one week a month for feeling mildly crappy 4 weeks a month. On what planet is that a good trade off?

I guess I’ve gained weight, my mom says I have, but hubby says he doesn’t see it. I’ve always been heavy so I don’t really look any different to myself and my clothes still fit plus I drink a lot of soda so if the weight is there it could be the depo, the soda, the psych meds, all of combined, I just don’t know.

I do know I am suddendly shedding hair more than I ever have in my life. I can’t brush it over the sink or the sink looks like a beauty parlor floor after every member of every 80’s hairband got their hair cut off.

The anger is what has been so staggering. The only other time I felt this mad at everything for no apparent reason was during pregnancy. And what does that have in common with depo? HORMONES. My body apparently cannot process excess hormones well. There have been moments of such intense anger during the last 3 months, I was almost afraid of myself, it felt like it was burning me from the inside out. And rarely over anything valid.

In my quest to avoid getting pregnant and lose the painful periods, I had essentially allowed myself to be injected with a chemical that made me devoid of who I know myself to be.

I cannot think of a single benefit of being on depo. I’d rather have 3 days of excrutiating cramps and a period than 4 weeks of mild cramps and a guess-if-we’re-going-to-need-a-pad-today lottery.

And even though it didn’t kill my sex drive physically, it made me feel so utterly gross physically and mentally that I had to force myself to allow the sexy feelings to happen. Shortly before getting on depo I had read how in certain religions and cultures the men are not allowed to see their women during their time of the month as they are considered “dirty”. And while that has nothing to do with my and my marriage, it still aided in the whole Depo tainted thing because I felt dirty every single day of the month. Even when I wasn’t on a period of some sort (light, heavy, spotting) I was living in terror of it just reappearing at any time. I’ve never felt more disgusting in my life.

I am very fortunate to have such a loving, accepting husband who happens to find me sexy and beautiful even when the rest of the world would say ewwwww, when even I would say ewwww.

I think from about the 3rd week on Depo, I told hubby NO MORE EVER AGAIN.

I have read a thousand posts on depo related message boards from women with horror stories as well as women who think depo is better than sliced bread. On one hand, if you have endometriosis and this drug pretty much cures it, then it can’t be an entirely bad medicine. On the other hand, how many women like me were lured in with the selling points (no pregnancy, no period) but not told of the potentially horrendous side effects and how it would alter not just our body, but our mind?

I know firsthand that one drug can be a lifesaver for one person and the downfall for thousands (my xanax, for example, keeps me sane and functional but for some the addictiveness is a killer) and I would not want anyone to take it away from me because it is the only thing that has ever worked. So for this reason, I will not say Depo is without its merits. For me, it was toxic.

I read one post where a woman claimed all depo haters were just women who’d had a bad experience and were angry. With the suicidal urges it provoked in me and knowing this could have been prevented, yeah, I’m pretty angry, but I am angry at the plethora of health care providers who all knew my extensive history and the side effects of this drug and did not warn me. I have found a hundred different things on line warning that this drug is bad choice for anyone with a long history of depression and yet it was given to me with the ease of candy, in spite of two nurses and three doctors knowing my full history.It almost feels like they were playing a lottery and just hoping it would “go the other way” and help my problems.

The fact that I lost 3 months of my baby’s life because I was feeling crappy, suicidally depressed, etc, pisses me off. I can never get that time back, ever. All these people had to do-just one of them- was say, “There’s a chance this could make your depression worse, are you sure you want to take it?” Just that much and I would have known better.

It’s the fact that I was clueless and that whatever concern I shared (even with hubby) was downplayed and responded to as if I were being histrionic and dramatic.

In 2000, I was on an MAOI anti depressant. It came with side effects and a strict restriction of foods but it worked for me and I was willing to risk it for that. After inadvertantly eating cheese, I wound up in the hospital for a week, no one knowing if I would live or die. I did not sue anyone, did not desire to sue anyone because I went in with eyes wide open, had been told of the potential risks, and had accepted the responsibility.

I cursed only my own stupidity in not making sure food given to me by others didn’t contain one of foods that caused the interaction. mY FAULT.

I’ve been told this is my fault for not doing more research. How could I have when I looked things up on line, addressed the issues with professionals, and was brushed off? It’s not like I didn’t care and didn’t try, but I trusted these people to tell me if I was making a bad choice based on medical knowlege they had and I didn’t.

Another thing I did not like, at all, about Depo, was the ambiguity. With no regular period, it left you paranoid each and every day that you were pregnant in spite of the birth control. We are trained as girls to watch for that “missing” period, but if you never have one or always have one, what then?

I still seethe over all the posts when someone listed that as a con. “If you have a period, you’re not pregnant.”

“No birth control is 100%,take a urine test.”

This is the confusion I mean. It’s confusing enough to be told if you miss a period you could be pregnant but you could still be pregnant if you have a period. Depo thrown into the mix just turns it into a skull crushing headache.

BTW,what most women are not told, including me, is that it often takes up to a year of depo injections before you are totally rid of your period. (If then.) I was told by the second month it’d be gone. WRONG.

Maybe I could have read the warning insert if my insurance hadn’t substituted a generic drug and left it out.

I still think the doctors had a responsibility to warn me.

And the worst thing about it is…once you get that shot, you can’t have it removed. You can not get another one, but you are still left with an indeterminate amount of time in which to deal with the aftermath. This is not temporary or simple. I suppose if it works for you as it is supposed to the letter it becomes the dream drug but I wish those women would have a little empathy to those of us it didn’t work out well for. I’m not cussing them for having a good experience with it, I don’t understand why some of these pro-depo posters have so much venom toward the women depo has screwed up.

I am willing to see both sides here and concede a complete ban on Depo would not be the answer since it seems to help many. But the doctors need to better educate and warn women and make sure they are made aware of the potential risks and side effects. (Some doctors still won’t acknowlege the loss of bone density due to long term depo use, when even the manufacturer came out and admitted to it.) I swear some of these doctors can see no further than “this woman doesn’t need another kid,let’s get her on whatever birth control method we can even if it hurts her”.

There is one thing I will no falter on that concerns depo:IT SHOULD NOT EVER BE ADMNINISTERED TO A WOMAN WHO HAS JUST OR RECENTLY  GIVEN BIRTH.

The entire process of pregnancy, labor, and childbirth takes such a toll on our bodies that it can be up to a year before nature’s intentions are back to prebaby normal. The last thing any harried new mom needs to be worrying about are being able to stay awake or get up with her baby or why is she so angry all the time,is it the depo or post baby horomone irregularities. I think it should be standard practice (if not a law) that depo cannot be prescribed to any woman who is not at, minimum, six months post childbirth, if not a year after. Because I honestly have no idea how much of this is normal and being amplified by depo or if it is just the depo. I know this is not who I was pre depo, not even in the three months of getting up with the baby two or three times a night did I feel this lousy. None of these issues started until after the depo, which makes me believe it is all depo related, and probably worsened because it was adminstered to me when my hormones were all still askew from baby.

You can read me the riot act on that one, but I stand by it. Let doctors get individual waivers from women who want the depo anyway, but as a  general rule, especially in women who have never used depo before, it should not given until things have normalized. How else will you know if what you are experiencing is a side effect from the chemical hormones or what is just normal hormones returning.

I wish I still had the link but I don’t. I was reading for days this UK site about the experiences women had had with depo and it was mind boggling how many of them spoke of revulsion when approached by their husbands for sex and yet pre-depo they’d been very interested. I wonder if women realize that depo provera is essentially what is used as chemical castration for male sex offenders. It kills your sex drive because it’s intended to do that in men, it makes sense it could happen to women,too. How great is a drug that alters you to the point of no longer enjoying what you used to like immensely?  How fair is it to couples who break up over the issues caused by depo? I think perhaps the saddest post was a pro-depo where the woman said she no longer wanted sex at all, ever, but it was okay because she no longer had periods. My periods are miserable but I will gladly take them as opposed to losing part of what makes me a vital living woman. Forget the naughty stuff, what about expressing love to your partner? How is a loss of a period remotely comparable to losing that? Just the loss of sheer closeness and emotional connection would make my life hollow.

I suppose I can’t speak for women virtually crippled by the pain of horrendous periods and endo, but is it wrong of me to want to think there has to be a better solution than sacrificing your sexuality and relationship?

Or in my case, there has GOT to be a better way than taking a drug that makes me feel like crap and wish I were dead. I have more to live for than I ever had before, so these feelings are insane.

Maybe I can’t walk into a courtroom ala Perry Mason with stacks of incriminating evidence saying it is 100% the fault of depo…but I-and my husband-know that almost none of this stuff was going on pre-depo and two plus two equals four.

Maybe my normal chemistry and postbaby askew chemicals caused the depo to react this way. I just know I did react this way and it was so not worth it. The doctors saying to give it more time are insane because it’s not their bodies being affected or their lives being ruined. Just because it didn’t happen this way for a million other women doesn’t make my experience less valid.

If you are having problems with the depo, do not let anyone make you feel insane. It has its problems and affects everyone differently. Find a new contraceptive and wait for the depo to exit your system. Don’t be bullied into taking more unless you really want to and believe it will help. There’s nothing wrong with just saying no.

We should all be forewarned, properly educated, and be allowed to make an informed choice and not be pressured by nurses, doctors, boyfriends, husbands, etc.It’s our bodies, our minds, our lives.

I look at my baby and think if the worst that can happen being off depo is I have another one of her, well, yay, because as stressful as the mom gig is at times, it is also an unmitigated joy and not as bad as what depo provera put me, my mind, my body, and my family through.

Besides which, it apparently fails just as easily as every other method of birth control so we’re deluding ourselves thinking anything short of sterilization or abstinence is fail proof. Makes you wonder why we bother at all when it’s all really just a roll of the dice. 99.9% effective seems like good odds unless you’re in the failure zone.

Frankly, unless it is 100%,I don’t think I will ever take another hormonal birth control again. Just not worth it. I miss who I used to be pre-depo and all I can do now is wait it out and see if I ever get back to normal.

I envy the women it worked for.

Soooo not worth it for me.

Source: http://moodymetalzombie.wordpress.com/2010/03/09/toxic-shot-syndrome/

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