I Pay, You Pay — Whatever

I was just thinking the other day how much “paying” for a meal or whatnot is a large issue for Chinese people. In Hong Kong, there have actually been reported fights breaking out as a result of two individuals who wanted to pay the bill. Sounds weird right, what normal person wouldn’t let another person pay for the bill? LOL. On that note though, I’m writing this entry because I know of a family that particularly irks me when it comes to paying for meals.

To really help you make sense of this post, when family-friends and us get together, our method is simple… either one of us takes care of the entire bill or we simply split it evenly between all the people. Obviously this depends on the number of people eating, the type of food we ate and if there are any occasions that warrant a single person/family paying. I should point out that I highly doubt any of us “keeps track” per se, when it comes to paying. We don’t calculate the number of times of who paid and how much, we just treat each other back-and-forth and don’t explicitly keep on a piece of paper all those statistics. If anything, we simply take it in-stride and guesstimate paying for each others meals. Sometimes they are more frequent of smaller amounts and sometimes less frequent with larger amounts. Either way, all of us treat each other like family and we don’t bother stressing over small details as to “who-owes-who-what.

There is this one particular family… consisting of mom, dad and son. They are part of our general family-friends group and although when it comes to other things, I don’t mind them, they are extremely frivolous when it comes to money expended on meals. Like are you kidding me? Their household income is NOT low and compared to many of us within the group, they are well-off, so to imagine their cheapness when it comes to a dollar-or-two of difference amuses and shocks us. I have become bitter over this when I eat with them, especially over an incident that occurred about a month ago.

We ate at a buffet and the buffet naturally charges a lower price for their son who is still considered the “children” price. The price difference is about $4 less. So when it comes to splitting the bill at the end, I did a simple mathematical calculation. I took the entire total, added tips and split it between everyone, like usual. No one said a word, then at the end, the father says their portion is “unusually expensive” compared to everyone else. I showed him the amount on the calculator, then he said, “But my sons price is cheaper…” and then the mom pipes up, “That’s outrageous, why are we paying more when his meal costs less?“… I wanted to fucking scream and tell them they’re retarded because we’ve always split the bill per person and when THEY get to take advantage, they say nothing… but now that they’re paying an extra dollar they notice? Are you fucking kidding me? Your son orders expensive drinks that EVERYONE ELSE pays for and you don’t complain, but complain about the extra portion of the $4 discount (that’s also split between everyone else, which means they’re only paying 75-cents more) that you didn’t get?

Don’t get me wrong, I could hardly care less that your son orders an expensive drink while everyone else gets cheaper or free (water) drinks, since you split it between that many people, everyone’s only paying an extra few cents, but seriously.. if you want to calculate it bit by bit, we’ll do that. What infuriates me is that a lot of the times when we go to other restaurants, one of the “aunts” in her fucking retarded wisdom doesn’t count the child. Hello, is he really a child anymore? He’s 13.. he’s going through puberty, he eats MORE food than my mom and I put together and so should my mom and I get a discount off the split? Should he pay MORE because he EATS so much more? Hey wait a second… how come when we get the bill and your child doesn’t get counted, you don’t say, “Hey, you guys forgot to count my child, he ate too so he should pay…“? Ya, tell me why that is when things are to your advantage, you don’t say anything but when you have to pay an extra 75-cents you moan like a fucking little kid who lost their candy?

So my resolve has been from now on to make sure that when eating with them, just THAT particular family unit, that I ensure EVERY portion YOUR child eats, every drink YOUR child orders, is calculated dead-on-the-dot. If everyone else orders no drinks and your son does, YOU will pay for HIS drink, not US. From now on, I will calculate the bill and not defer it to your idiotic sister who thinks we don’t notice when she doesn’t count your son. I am not stupid, I will not allow your sister to think she can slide it underneath me that in fact, I am not only paying for my mother and I’s meal, but that of your nephew. No, when he orders drinks, we will not pay his share, because you refuse to pay for ours. You want to play accountant? I can too, because interestingly enough, I happen to have been awarded a community-recognition of Accounting Excellence when I graduated high school and have enough knowledge about numbers to tell the different whether I am covering for YOUR liability (a.k.a your son).

To recap, when I eat with you:

  • I will not allow anyone else to divide the numbers, I will do it for you, on a neat little program I have on my iPhone
  • I will ensure that if your son orders something no one else does, you are fronting that portion up
  • I will be relentless and you will pay for every meal portion and drink up-to-the-cent
  • I will not treat you to a meal, because in reality, I owe you NOTHING
  • I am not retarded and I do know when you are taking advantage of us and for your face/sake, I am not saying anything outright
  • As with the above point, your sister is equally stupid thinking that I do not notice when I am covering a portion of your son
  • Your son is not a child, he eats more than most adults, therefore if anything, don’t try to order things at the end, pack it up as tomorrow’s lunch/dinner – you can pay separately for that
  • When we eat buffets, each person/family will have a separate bill, most buffets are quite capable of doing those splits – hey, do you think you’re ordering that $5 drink anymore now that you have to pay for it fully?
  • You don’t get the left overs, don’t try… if I have to, I will eat it all, barf it back out or shit it back out in its ORIGINAL form, but don’t think just because you over-order, we pay, that you get to take it home

Inherently, I am not a cheap person, especially when it comes to people I love, family and friends. I have closed my eyes and dropped $100-300 to cover for an entire luxury meal before. I have paid for a meal for 20 people before, it did not faze me and I was quite happy to do so. When I eat out with my white friends, even though I order less, we all split the bill evenly. I refuse to let girls pay, whether they are my god-sisters, girlfriend or an aunt, it is the right gentlemanly thing to do to front up the bill. I tip generously, even though I have never held a waitering job. My Dad has however and has expressed to me how hard these people work for their money and if they provided good service, they deserve it. When carpooling, I usually offer to take my car because I enjoy driving and I would incur that driving cost anyways to drive myself. Although these things do not necessarily fully represent the person I am, surely, you can believe I’m not the type to care about every penny. However, should you choose to do that with me, I will ensure that whatever your bill comes to and every morsel you ate or drink you drank, it will be your responsibility to cover.

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on March 28, 2010, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 19 Comments.

  1. LOL
    Just cannot understand some of them…..
    I met such incident before too…
    When we were taking dim sum and I ordered porridge, some ordered dim sum, some ordered pao…
    Till the end, I was thinking that just split the bill by heads lo.. (Makes life easier)
    Then one fellow came out and say…..
    Those who order pao, porridge (means order ‘extra’ food pay more)….
    Okok… Oh well….. You are making the one who is counting on this small small amount headache….
    Why are you counting so much…..
    As those who did not order any ‘extra’ food, they are taking more dim sum and those who ordered ‘extra’ food like I do, I hardly touch the dim sum as I am not the kind that like to eat dim sum….
    Ended up like I am paying for your portion and I need to fork out MY own dish….
    Anyways, I din sound this out when they were doing the counting to avoid any ‘fight’… LOL

    Another scenario….
    There was once when we were celebrating my friend’s birthday and we actually bought her a cake….
    When come to the time my friend wan to collect money from ALL of them who attended the ‘celebration’….
    Some of them sound this…..
    I didnt eat the cake, why am I paying for that????

    Then…. What the….. Why are you turning up here…..
    Cant you just pay for that RM4??? Means around 1USD……
    Anyways, we ended up to absorb back the difference……


    Just cannot understand those pppl………………..

    • Well you know, I can understand those who may not be as well of or a regular job to be stingier. I know when I was still a student, we would all take “separate bills” instead since we didn’t have to worry about calculating things as each person would simply be ordering their own food/drink under their own receipt. However, now that most of us has jobs, we just do it via a head-count. I know that I have some younger friends who are still in university and when we go out, they still prefer separate bills which is fine… or I just pay for them. However, the family who does this is in a VERY GOOD financial situation so they have no need to be like that.

      Why didn’t you say anything to them? Haha… wanted to save them face meh?

      Wow, RM 4 = 1 USD? I did not know RM was such a strong currency… even more than HKD and RMB… Right now, I can exchange 1 CAD for like 7 HKD, lol. I was in fact planning to get some exchange for my trip later on this year while our currency is still high the HKD is low!!!

      • Just dun wan to drag anymore time…..
        I need to go back to have a nice sleep as it was 7am in the morning… (We were awake throughout the night….)

        To be exact…. Currency exchange rate is about RM3.4 to 1USD…..

        HKD is dropping while RMB is going up….. 😛
        So, need not change that much as you are going to use it at the end of the year……

  2. Wow, why up so late like that? Tsk tsk… thought u like to luk on bed and do something by yourself 😉 HAHAHA.

    Eh, I don’t care about RMB, since I do not plan on visiting mainland China. I hate it there, absolutely hate it. I don’t how cheap you tell me things are there, it blows. I prefer to stay in Hong Kong, where I feel at home, comfortable, and not worried that I’m going to turn a corner and someone is going to try to rob me or steal a liver from me.

    Right now, exchange rates from CAD to HKD is very good, so rather than wait until December when I dunno if things will be better than, I can exchange some now. Last time, I told my mom to exchange earlier and she said no… and by the time we go to HK, CAD -> HKD was down to 1:6 instead of 1:7… now that I see 1:7, want to grab a bit first… at least something to use. It may get better or worse, but at least we got it at a decent rate. Unless CAD goes up a lot or HKD suddenly drops. 1 to 7 is a pretty good exchange for now.

  3. I LOVE to luk on bed but I have stuff to do also k…..
    Cannot be luk-ing on my bed 24/7……
    LOL….. I dun like China mainland too… But, you hate it….. haha……
    Since so… Ma change lo….. haha…..

  4. What is luk? Sorry I am a banana but I like to kepoh also=P

    Anyway, I feel you Prexus! I dislike calculative people especially when they jolly well do not have the need to do so – esp also when the amount we have to absorb is a mere Ringgit or so. The most recent situation I had was when I went karaoke-ing with a group of friends (say about 10++ persons) and one person did not turn up because he had unexpected relatives over (this was during CNY). The thing is, we pre-booked for a certain number of heads and no last minute changes was allowed. That one person did turn up, but at the end of the session – so he did not get to sing at all. Someone insisted the guy pay up for his share, and justified it by saying “This is the way it is in the business world”.

    Come on, this is NOT the business world and this is a gathering of old friends – just paying up and extra ringgit isn’t much to ask for, plus, he didn’t FFK on purpose!

    (p.s See, I do comment on your blog :P)

  5. Hrm… that’s a tough one, I’m torn between whether I would ask him to pay or not. Prebooking things is a bitch, since you get charged whether you want it or not. But oh well, I guess it depends on how close the group is… if it was just “someone you know” then of course I would demand they pay up since it’s their fault they didn’t show, lol. But if it’s between friends, I would analyze whether this person always skips out last minute. I have a few friends who are well-known for skipping out last minute… they’ll say they’re coming up to the point of like 5-6 hours before we go to a place. I would make them pay if they’re one of those “regular incident” type of person, haha.

    You used to be here all the time, now you barely visit >.> So are our plans for me to become your pimp going to work out? LOL… do I get free services ar? 😀

    Are we going to Sophia’s blog to congregate now? hahaha.. 😆

  6. OMG.. both of you……….

    Stay here will do…… ^^

    • LOL… nevermind la, one of PC’s friend warned me that I will get STD if I sleep with her… HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 😆 I will just pimp her now, don’t need her services anymore!! Last time I took my body check, I was healthy… don’t want to ruin that because of her 😛

      • zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

      • LOL!! OMG, dun believe u said that… hahaha. Use condom of course la xDD

  7. U probably spend too much money on other ppl, haha. I kno that if u think this person is really cheap, den must be VERY VERY cheap! Nvr seen u get so angry over food/money, usually a very happy combination for u 😛 I want a steak lunch now, take me, take me!!

    Easter holiday coming up for u soon, yes? How will you deal with this family then, or u not see them? haha 😀

  8. LOL, omg Amy… so diiiirtty, haha. What happened to the sweet little innocent girl I once knew? 😛 Using a condom is not the point, because you can get STD’s from using other parts of your body, not only the one “protected” by condom, HAHA.

    Sure, we’ll go for a steak lunch… not the one Uncle W went to last time, I am not paying HKD$2,000, no matter how 闊佬 you think I am, lol. You can either wait for me to come home, or, you can fly over here and I will take you to lunch 😆

    Hrm.. ya, Easter is coming up, just two more days. Usually we don’t go out to eat for large holidays because food quality sucks (they’re rushing just to push out food), more expensive (at buffets) and just too many people. We rather do it old-style and do something at someone’s house. I’m not sure who’s house it is this year, lost track of the rotation. Nevertheless, we’re thinking of either doing the “last” hotpot of the reason or the “first” BBQ of the year. I think it depends on the weather and what people buy at the supermarket. BBQ wouldn’t be bad, we had one this year at work and it was great to stand out in the sun! There’s no worries when we eat at home, because there are not really bills to pay, haha. Each person has to contribute. However, they are very greedy and selfish, because if they see something on the table they like, they will sweep it all into the plate of their son and not leave any for others. So now, I always leave the good stuff for myself or make the ‘good’ food when they are stuffed and can’t eat anymore, lol. I change my “tactic” every time so they don’t catch on. Seriously though, it is annoying I have to do things like that because they are so greedy and cheap.

  9. Just a brief whats up and to thank you for sharing your thoughts in this post. I wound up on your website after researching workout related stuff on Bing… guess I managed to get kind of sidetracked! In any event I shall be back in the future to read your posts down the road. Seeya!

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