My First Experience with Acupuncture

Today was my first experience with acupuncture and in fact, totally unexpected. I met up with a friend in Mississauga today as he has been suffering a weird rash on his hands. It’s a mixture of itchy, painful and downright ugly (even he recognizes that). It isn’t like a rash you think of like red blotches – it is this weird black-splotches that look like flesh-eating disease (but not) and the western doctors have tested his body inside-out with no avail of diagnosing what it is. Obviously being Asian, our first bet was to consult a Chinese herbal doctor (specializing in TCM – Traditional Chinese Medicine). Over a month his hand has healed tremendously, more so than any of these “creams” and “pills” that conventional medicine has fed/smeared on him. Suffice to say, this post is by no means denouncing western medical expertise, it is just something they have yet to be able to provide a “clear answer” as to what it is. Also, my friend will be leaving Canada to accomplish his MBA in the US, therefore it is imperative that his health be in tip-top condition and also having a hand that looks like it’s rotting isn’t very aesthetically appealing.

TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine

We accompanied him because my mom went with him last time just to simply maintain her health. Since it was confirmed that without any major health issues, my mom is simply issued some herbal powder (which you add hot-water) to regulate her existing good health and improve in any areas she’s lacking. Having heard so many great things about this doctor (from more than one source), I decided to give it a shot. For those who know, I have been battling with a minor hair-thinning issue. My western doctor suggested “Rogaine” since he determined it was a hereditary cause from hormones. The TCM disagrees, indicating I have a lot of toxicity built up in my body. This toxicity affects my ability to regulate bodily functions (we’re not talking about that type of bodily function a la peeing and pooping) and thus, hair naturally becomes more brittle and is not as thick as it used to be. Although few people who read this blog know me in person, I was one of those people with this amazing thick and long set of hair. My haircuts used to be monthly. After some tests administered by the TCM doctor, she (yes, SHE) gave me good news that it is not the hereditary factor as we were told, but because my naturally oily (caused indirectly by the crap built-up) body clogged up my hair follicles.

Acupuncture - This is not "new" as it has been part of Chinese medical intervention eras ago

Immediately, she told me that if I wanted, I could undergo an acupuncture treatment as she wanted me to flush all those toxins out immediately. Toxicity can be built up from anywhere from the air we breathe to the foods we eat. I’ll have to admit, I’m not the “healthiest” eater and I did not always lead a great lifestyle, so hearing this was no shock and plus, I’ve always wanted to do a body cleanse anyways. To my surprize, she recommended to put me on a body-cleansing treatment along with acupuncture. This involves a weekly acupuncture session (where the frequency is later reduced/unnecessary) to help stimulate proper blood circulation in my body, to detoxify my body and to reduce hair-loss. I was going to take some time to think it over, but before I knew it, I was on the bed already 😆 She obviously made the decision for me seeing as that she was concerned enough about how much crap over the years I’ve built-up. Ever since I heard about the great benefits of detoxifying my body via a colon cleanse from my coworker, I had always wanted to try it but always “delayed delayed” — I guess this time, it was pretty much instilled upon me 😛

My arms and legs were rendered useless under the effects of paralysis

With my shirt off (pants on, haha) I first laid face up. She inserted 2 needles in each arm, 2 in my head, 2 in each leg and 2 in my hands (this hurt the most). None of these were “intense pain” but upon insertion, it felt sore and then paralysis began to set in at most of these locations. My body was completely in a state of weakness as my pressure points were all numb. Some of the insertions in places were worse than others, probably due to sensitivity of certain regions. I laid there for about 20 minutes staring at the ceiling, although there were sometimes “twinges” of pain here and there. All of a sudden, I realized my entire body felt like I was a pig in an oven! Even worse were my hands were it felt like someone just stuck it in boiling-hot water if not more. I have never felt so much heat intesify inside my body. I asked my mom (who had to translate for me as the TCM doctor spoke Mandarin) whether I was bleeding (my friend told me he had a bit from the needles) because I felt a lot of wetness. My mom told me that I was all sweaty so sure enough, this “heat” I was feeling wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

The doctor came in and I thought this terror was over – partially from the searing heat/pain and because lying still for 20 minutes is quite boring. Nope, she asked me to turn around which I complied hesitantly, face-first on the bed. She then proceeded to put 3 needles in my neck, 2 in each arm, 2 in each leg and 2 in my back. After the entire treatment was over, I had 23 “freshly created holes” in my body! The removal of the needles were not overly painful as one would assume and the removal of them provided a sort of “relief” as I could resume my body’s motor-functions. I think overall, there was only one poorly placed needle as I felt it painfully going into my back on every “buzz” the electro-thingie made. I could hardly give a technical answer to this, but when I was face-down, she also employed this electric-buzzer thing that would zap… yes ZAP my back every second. Unfortunately I think one of the needles was too close to this and every zap of the thingie dug the needle deeper into my back. After 6 hours, this is the only needle-hole which I still feel and is actually “hurting” (preventing me from sitting properly).

Nevertheless, this was a pretty interesting experience. I have to go again this come Saturday and also to get more herbs. Oh right – herbs! So after the acupuncture, she also gave me this really nice massage! Although horridly painful at first when you have someone pushing every section of your spine and back up n’ down, once she finished, any tense muscles were immediately relaxed. Although I’m not keen in being poked with needles because it fucking hurts – I want to ensure I do this for the good of my health! My health is not only important to me, but also to those around me. Being healthy allows me to take care of my family and friends, most importantly, my bebe and also our future family 😛 People worry less about you when you are in good health and of course best of all, you feel great! Now, regarding the herbs, as I mentioned, the TCM doctor’s goal was to flush my body of all this toxic-crap. She gave me a weeks worth of herbal powder to be consumed twice a day. She warned me that I will be “washroom-prone” – LOL! She used the Mandarin expression 拉肚子 which my mom had to translate to pretty much diarrhea… urg 😦 But she said the whole purpose is to get the toxic crap out and to allow my body to properly regulate itself. On a happy note, she also said this will help me lose weight since all this junk has been built up in my colon and intestines. She explained that the “fat” I see coming out from my stomach is not actually “fat” – but all the garbage one accumulates over time that the body cannot rid through normal defecation and urination.

Depends for Men

I guess now would be a good time for me to start taking any diaper or adult incontinence donations, LOL. Apparently I’m going to be shitting myself crazy! 😀 The bad thing is that I’m volunteering at a golf tournament this week, so looks like I’m going to have to switch roles to somewhere closer to the washroom. I just downed my medicine tonight and I haven’t felt any “crazy effects” yet – but let’s not speak too soon because Chinese herbal medicine have amazing quick results which means tonight may be fairly sleepless 😆 Well that wraps up my Saturday of Canada Day Weekend… what a great way eh, taking lots of shits and having to drink really bitter herbal mixtures 😛 Come to think of it, I’m rather glad bebe is busy with school right now. How embarrassing is it to have to tell your girl on a date that, “Sorry honey, can you excuse me for an hour? I need to go to the washroom.” – LOL!