Absent? No. Just busy!

Hiho Everyone,

Hope people don’t think I’m dead or something… no, I’m still alive. Work has been busy lately and it has been exhausting. My blog is just a fun way for me to relax and to share myself with the world and so I don’t treat it like a job where I feel obligated to update it all the time. I haven’t ran out of period-topics yet, trust me, I have a huge list of it on my “to-talk-about” scratchpad. I still see a great influx of unique visitors every day and I’m happy about it and hope there’ll be more contributions and visitors to come. I want to keep this blog exciting and on-topic of course – although everyone has those busy-times in their life and this is one of them for me!

Over the summer, I get reduced working hours and it tends to be lazy. However, whenever September starts and the school-year rolls in, sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. On the good news about that is this year, my contract for my project manager position has been extended and they’re trying to make it a permanent position (rather than a temporary, where is can be terminated any time past the contract dates). As of September this year, our pay has gone up as a result of negotiated contracts… it’s not much, but in an economy like this and where many other sectors are freezing wages, let alone increase them, I consider myself lucky (or well to even be employed for that matter). As of October 1st, it has been one full year that my “new” job has been effective and I earned yet another jump in the pay-grid. It’s not really a lot of money after taxes and such, probably around an extra $4,000 or so combined.

Suffice to say, this new position comes without the manual labour of being in the field, but is still strenuous on the brain (not that I claim to be smart) and is a lot of politics-balancing game – you want to keep everyone happy while maintaining control. I definitely don’t want to revert to my old position because it’s way too much labour-intensive work and being in the office has its advantages (and disadvantages), along with the money that comes with an upgraded position. Hopefully it’ll go permanent soon so I can feel secure, although I still hold my prior permanent position – much more secure than most private-sector job shifts. I’ve been handling a lot of projects lately and it isn’t just a matter of “lots” but more of “all at the same time” and I swear this is probably what’s going to prevent me from getting Alzheimer’s given how much I have to keep my brain active and trying not to forget stuff. I will admit, even with the aid of my iPhone calendar, written notes and such – I still have managed to pull off some near-misses and forget an appointment/meeting. What I need is a secretary… haha, but that’s only something the manager gets!

All this work has not been without its reward… other than the money. The smiling faces I get to see and the plethora of “thank yous” really brightens up the day. For those who work in any service-related industry, you’ll definitely know that being appreciated is one thing that never ceases to make a bad day good. When I go home each day, as tired as I may be, I feel a sense of accomplishment… something I haven’t felt in a while because most of the work I’ve done during our downtime has been less-than-a-challenge and I’m one of those people who need to “do something grand” to feel as if I’m going somewhere in my life. I won’t lie that money is still an important thing to me, but if I’m going to earn money anyways while doing my job – I would certainly like the recognition, prestige and fulfillment to come with it. I’ll admit any moment that compared to many private-sector workers, we really have it easy here. I remember sitting there and talking to one of the accountants at our organization and she told me that I should really be recommending government jobs to my girlfriend (that’s what they refer to bebe as… oh well, easier on the mouth than referring to her by something else) because she really regrets not going government sooner in her life, wasting many of it out in the private sector. I don’t disagree that private sector is really “where the money is at” most of the time, but I guess it also depends on how far you really want to climb, whether you have the inhibitions to do it and what kind of lifestyle you really want. Government jobs are potentially the greatest “family-friendly” jobs ever – you don’t have to give up your life just to earn your next pay. I’m always on the look-out anyways for bebe, so when she comes back to job-hunt again, I will certainly check with my accounting friends in the government and see what they can scrounge up. Luckily, we have a CRA building right in the city we live in, which may be a great match for bebe’s line-of-work.

What surprized me over the past 2 weeks the most was that my boss has really been polishing me up. The other day I only casually mentioned about wanting one of those new rolling-laptop bags because I “though they were cool” and then the next day when I opened my office door in the morning (my eyes still half closed), I found a $120 rolling laptop bag sitting on my desk. This past Friday, I needed a memory stick to do a transfer of a large project I was working on and he asked me to follow him to the storage cabinet. Other than handing me a memory key which he said I could keep, he also gave me a gift for “all the hard work I’ve put in lately” a 2-TB Network Storage Device. This was a true professional-series file server and I was just thinking about what the hell I’m going to do with it, so I decided this weekend’s project would be to set it up so that every computer in my house (and that’s lots of it) – will backup to this device on a regular basis. For those who have ever had their computer crash and lost data, they’ll know how much having a proper backup means! While I was doing the setup on the device, I decided to hop online to check the price…. the “gift” he gave me is worth $499.99! Well you know what? Even though my job doesn’t pay much comparatively and in an industry where we are not eligible for bonuses or anything (since we don’t generate revenue per se), he definitely knows how to find other ways of giving us bonuses, even if it’s not in a cash-form. I had a second thought is that had I not unpacked it and begun using it, I probably could’ve sold it for $400… but sometimes it’s nice to keep things around that people give you – call it a… sentimental value.

This is an interesting thing I heard on the radio… looked it up and wanted to repost a written article:


Story Image

Saturday October 2,2010

By Jo Willey

WOMEN who get between five and six-and-a-half hours sleep a night could live longer, research claims.

Less than five hours a night is probably not enough and eight hours is probably too much, insist experts.

A team, led by Professor Daniel Kripke, revisited his research carried out between 1995 and 1999 at the University of California, San Diego.

That earlier study, part of the Women’s Health Initiative, monitored 459 women aged between 50 and 81 to determine if sleep duration can be linked to mortality.

Of the original participants, 444 were located and evaluated. Eighty-six of those had died. Prof Kripke, whose findings are published in Sleep Medicine journal, said: “Women who slept less than five hours a night or more than 6.5 hours were less likely to be alive at the 14-year follow-up.”

He added that the study should calm fears about people not getting enough sleep.

I have to shamefully admit that I used to question bebe about her sleeping habits… I mean, I know university life is hard and all, but she used to sleep some awkward hours… either working late into the night and then waking up in the afternoon and to me, that was a bit weird. Even when I attend post-secondary, I never had such awkward sleeping patterns, but hey, to each their own. However, what worried me the most wasn’t about the weird patterns she slept, but I was worried about her health by not getting enough good rest. I can say surely that it was a concern for her well-being and health, not because I minded the fact she slept at odd hours. Guess I have to admit now that she is right and I am wrong. According to the article, as long as she gets 5-6 hours of restful sleep, then her body will function great!

But anyways… I feel guilty as of last night. I know in my heart I’m dedicated and loyal to bebe. I don’t know what happened last night, but for once in a long-long-long time.. I had a dream about a girl, but the girl wasn’t bebe. I’m not used to dreaming about any other girl other than her and hell, I don’t even have feelings for the girl who was in the dream, so that’s not an issue about my mind telling me something. Such a weird thing… and yes, I know sometimes dreams are absolutely insignificant but I feel guilty. I don’t like OR want my dreams to contain girls in it other than bebe, because I am 100% hers! I should be thinking about her when I’m eating, at work and even sleeping and of no other girl. I’m of course totally exaggerating this over the case of a single night’s dream, but it definitely felt awkward. I mean a few years ago, I would’ve loved nothing more but have random dreams of beautiful women – but now, it almost seems like I’ve lost the inhibition for all other women. It’s not that I’m turning gay or dislike sweet-talking girls, but it just isn’t the same magnetic and pounding feeling I have on other girls compared to bebe. I can’t understand why I felt so sad over it… It’s almost like I cheated on her or something 😆 even when I haven’t even done anything… 😛 I get way too worked up about this stuff, haha.

Speaking of sleep.. I’m going to sleep night – so nighty night!

P.S just the other day, I noticed that MiM already has 100,000 unique page hits! OMG… and not even a year old – so thanks to all my visitors for making this place a success!

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on October 3, 2010, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. *Frowns* I bet they wouldn’t suggest that I sleep from 10pm to 1030am again. (I feel so good though. sigh)

    • The fact you can sleep that much is crazy. I guess if you stay up for a really long time the night before, it’d make sense, but I find myself pretty much waking the same hours as I would normally, +/- 30 minutes maybe. Occasionally if I’m really burnt out after a night out or some major partying, I can pull off 10-11 hours, but don’t think I’ve done a 12-hour sleep before. Plus, I figured when I die, I’ll have plenty of time to sleep 😆

      Even though I get good, refreshing sleeps… I must say, I always feel like not wanting to roll out of bed in the morning – haha.

  2. When I don’t work at my full time and only have my part time job at night, I get to sleep until I’m not tired anymore. Refreshed and sometimes a little stiff, lol.

    Sometimes I need the sleep and sometimes I just have the time, lol.

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  4. “I’m of course totally exaggerating this over the case of a single night’s dream”

    Yesh… kekeke… if any1 knows u well, it’s me n’ I can say for sure juz coz of ONE dream abt nother girl doesn’t mean yur not thinking abt bebe or cheating on her with another girl!! 😀 Silly pig. Dreams aren’t smthg u can control so if u hv them, u hv them… and while I do believe that dreams are sometimes manifestation of subconscious mind, don’t for a second think that yur hearts not in the right place. If u ask any of yur frd who know u well, they can attest to yur 人格. If u want to attract bebe, u hv to show her that u don’t doubt yurself, otherwise it’ll make her suspicious of u n of coz u dun want that. Even if u told her that u dream of nother girl, I think she knows YOU well enuf that she won’t even think anything of it… she knows u crave, want, care n love for her, that her trust in u won’t be faltered by something sooooo small and insignificant!

    • Haha, ya ya…. I’m too sensitive to these things because I try to be so “molded” to what bebe wants from a guy. Sometimes instead of being just me, I want to be the exact guy of what bebe wants. I know it’s impossible because people have so many expectations and stuff and you just can’t satisfy everything. Nevertheless, she is my pride and joy and wouldn’t want her to think I have another girl on my heart! After so many trial-and-errors with girls, I’ve finally found a girl I know I can settle down with and move-on in life.

      Although I don’t message her everyday, she is still always on my mind and in my heart. There are moments when I just fall into a daze of daydreaming and all our happy moments and places we’ve been to all flash in my mind and I re-live thoes glorious moments… I can only wish and hope for more and better ones! Counting the days ’til she’s back and although she’ll probably feel unhappy to leave her family/friends, there’s tons of friends waiting back here in Canada for her and I want to make this a wonderful environment for her to be in and so she can have a “home” here too!!

  5. Just make sure she has a job, good friends, house n’ u and then u can lock her down here xDD U hv to be able to replicate her life in Malaysia if u want to give her a reason to stay! I kno that it’s logical to provide her with just u as an important-enuf reason to stay, but we’re girls and we need more than juz a guy 😛 We want those little things too la, kakaka.

    Yur so cute when u talk abt the life u want to accomplish w/ bebe… so heartwarming n coz u finally found a girl who matches all yur criteria! I want to meet her too ^__^ I think u r easier to meet ppl n get along with random ppl more than she is… that’s y she’s prob going to let her meet yur friends b4 she’s willing to meet yurs.. mmmm shy? Mayb she won’t be as shy after she starts working, juz like u! U kno the feeling too of being shy with ppl u dunno until yur first big job newayz, hehe.

    She’s been here for so many years I’m sure she has a bit of attachment to Canada… many of her friends r in Malaysia n of coz her family, so she juz needs to meet new ppl she can feel connected to mayb u two can make a family of yur own 😉

    Happy Thanksgiving!!!

    • Haha ya I acknowledge that… I mean, it isn’t that I don’t understand that being so far away from home and having to (almost) start fresh is daunting and most people wouldn’t even want to bother. I border between feeling selfish and wanting her, but yet, know she’d be happy back with her family and friends. It’s a tough thing to crack through and all I can ever promise her is I’ll try my best to make this a right choice for her and that I’ll give her all that I can, materially, emotionally and through my love for her. It may be rather hard for her to comprehend this, but I try very hard to make her feel comfortable here.

      I know the allure of home is always great – I feel it too even though I’ve been in Canada for so many years, yearning to be with loved-ones and stuff – but that’s why I want her to establish here too, to have new loved ones (like me 😛 ) and that it seems like quite a few of her friends have settled here too. At the very least she’s not “starting from scratch here”… she does have many things already settled for her here and all she needs now is a job 😀 I’m not sure how she looks at this, like I’m doing all this to lock her down or whether she understands I’m trying to foster a beautiful environment for her to strive in. As much as I am selfish for wanting her around, at least I’m not doing it heartlessly without regards to knowing her concerns, wants and needs. I can’t say I can provide 100% of everything, but I can provide 100% effort.

      Ya, it wasn’t until I worked my first “corporate job” where I really started to grasp reality and social-connections. I used to think hitting the top grades and stuff meant you’d be successful or find a job. The reality is many careers all start from people you know. I wish I could say that every promotion and landing a job is all based on skill and education – but we all know that’s a lie. Knowing people in the right positions and being in the right place at the right time works wonders… can’t deny the “luck” factor as well! In a way, I’m glad we didn’t totally immerse into a relationship when she was in school because the greatest change to a person is crossing from school -> work-world.. and that’s why I’d rather not be in the “middle” of her change, but rather, wait until she’s settled into an adult-life mindset 😀 Then maybe she’ll start to appreciate me in a way she never thought she could!!

      Ya, hehehe, I’d love to have a family of our own for us… obviously not even soon I think, but in the future. As much as I like and want kids and THINK I’m ready for them now, I’m really not. A few more years of maturing might be good for me. I’m still a bit too headstrong right now. And if you didn’t catch what Frankie said last time, his ultimate solution to keeping a girl around is to “get her pregnant”… I don’t think doing something like that is really a good way to make someone love you 😆 .. .stupid him, haha.

  6. Kekeke… yeh yeh.. I kno he has bad-mouth… just so typical him!

    Getting a girl pregnant may work at keeping her around, but doesn’t mean relationship will succeed… doesn’t make sense n’ very unfair to bring a child into a loveless relationship. When u n bebe know u r rdy, u will have wonderful children together, bound in a love-filled companionship.. not juz to b forced into the situation. The solution is pretty funny but of coz not if it really happens! Even worse case is if she still DOESN’T stick around n now u hv a child who’s torn between two parents T__T

    Given all the great things u say abt bebe, better watch that other guys (especially at work) dun snatch her up =X … she’s obviously a very good girl n’ u might not be the only one going for her luv!!!

    • Well ya, lol.. I don’t agree that getting a girl pregnant is by any means a good idea… you want to bring the baby into a beautiful environment where he/she can grow up properly, not because someone ‘made a mistake’ and ended up having an unwanted pregnancy. I think people nowadays downplay it, it’s so simple to get pregnant and minimize the responsibility of it. There’s nothing “small” about bringing a new life into this world because person X wanted to keep person Y around.

      Bebe and I are far away from the baby-stage anyways, LOL…. Let’s just take it step by step 😆 … maybe she has to feel comfortable holding my hands before we even talk about popping one out, HAHAHA. She’s so shy it’s sorta cute 😛 (and frustrating, hehehe) at the same time. I think what makes me feel a BIT more comfortable is that most of her friends are girls (I think). Like I said before, I don’t like going through her Facebook at all because it makes me antsy and jealous if I see her being “close” to a guy or has added him. Even the friends she associates with regularly all seem to be girls, other than the girls’ boyfriends and stuff (which makes me jealous they’re part of the party but bebe won’t involve me with them T_T)

      She is a good girl and I know there may be competing… but ya, I just gotta trust her. I don’t want to get into scuffles with other people over a girl, although I will fight for her love obviously, haha…. just don’t want this to end bloody or deadly XD On a good note (for me at least), I think bebe’s the shy type and such, so she’s not going to actively pursue other guys… although that might change in the future, haha.. who knows… the future is always an unknown right? When I see her in a picture with a guy or something, usually I just think it’s a long-time friend or maybe someone from elementary/high-school… I try not to read too much into it. I know my mind wanders a lot and that’s where I try to stop myself.

      I want to get to the point where we both feel comfortable and assured of our relationship that things like this don’t bother us. I wanna be like J and M, where they’re so trusting of each other that they see past small things like this. I mean, I spend a lot of time with M alone at her place when J is out or at work… and one time she fell asleep on the sofa while watching a movie with me and J walked in on us where she feel asleep on my legs. I was like “uh oh” and later I asked M whether J was angry and she said, “Of course not, we have total trust in each other.” and damn, that was pretty awesome. I guess I’m a bit old fashion, but it was as awkward for me to have her fall asleep while we were alone together at her place. Her boyfriend didn’t even seem perturb and that’s so nice to see they believe that either of them would not be involved in doing “bad things” with other people.

      I can say myself that if I walked in on bebe sleeping or having some other guy sleeping on her, I’d probably have a reaction already, LOL. Not that I think that’d happen since she’s pretty conservative herself, but I’d probably be jumping to conclusions a lot faster than J did. It’s great to be in a relationship where there’s no doubts and worry and absolute trust! What a great couple for bebe and I to look up to and to learn to not let small things get in our way.

  7. So… Amy…. It’s 2:14AM and I typed a new blog entry just for you 😛 Better be damn happy la… going to sleep now 😀 Night night.. or well morning for you, haha.

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