Halloween & Birthday 2010

Ah yes Halloween, how many years ago I was excited for a day of running rampant on the street and collecting candy and treats for hours, completely unaware of the cold temperatures and potential danger that lurks behind unruly vehicles that don’t watch out for kids. Today, I sit cozy in my home distributing candy to cute little kids and smiling faces – to once reminiscence childhood and the carefree, no-responsibility life. I am not resentful, because all people will grow and phases change. Where we once were a baby, we shall become a kid. Once a kid, we shall become teen and slowly we move into adulthood where when we look back it makes us smile. Hopefully everyone has great memories of being young and certainly, I know people who wish nothing but to forget about their childhood horrors. A cute little girl, 2-3 if that came to get her candy with her mom. It was the cutest sight ever, mainly because it also made me think about how bebe and I would hold hands with our little child(ren) to go Trick or Treating 😆

I just saw a long-lost friend the other day at work, turns out he got married just a few months ago at 31. Gosh, I guess I shouldn’t be rushing quite yet since many people are choosing to marry at 30ish, especially for guys. I still have quite a few years to go before that, time for me to learn, time for me to mature and time for me to understand the responsibility of being a good boyfriend, husband and future father. I look at bebe, still carefree and void of many responsibilities for now, although I completely understand that for years she’s been taking care of her brothers, both younger and older – something that I greatly admire. I think and wonder whether by rushing her too much I am ripping this freedom away from her, just being graduated and still feeling out the world. At the same time, I cannot deny my own feelings for her and wanting to make our way towards a successful relationship. Of course, everything starts with the first step and although we’re not progressing at the speed I would wish, just having her around is already one solid footing to furthering our development. There are times when I have deep pangs in my heart whether she’ll still be the same girl when she returns, not because something there changes fundamentally who she is, but rather… 心散 (similarity to “distracted” in English, or -loss-of-focus). I mean there should be no guilt from feeling carefree after a long vacation but really, I wonder if she’ll feel the constant allure to go home and leave Canada for good. I’m fearful and I really am – there’s nothing I feel I need to lie about or pretend it doesn’t bug me. I’ve always been an upfront person, I say what I think.

For many, today’s significance are kids running throughout the neighbourhood, but to me, a big significance is that it’s my mom’s birthday. Years ago this day, my grandfather and grandmother gifted my life with a great mom. They brought her into this world and in turn, my father and mother brought me into this world, grateful is the only word that comes to mind. When I was young, it was hard for me to make birthdays for my parents really special. Over the past few years, being more financially stable and stuff, I’ve been able to set up some nice things for them. Sure, it’s always the thought that counts, but some things, you really need money to pull off. We went out for lunch with one of my mom’s best friends, then we headed to Niagara Falls Avalon Theatre for a show. The show was “Dancing Queen” – and a favourite of my mom after she went and saw a live-performance of Mamma Mia, so this was a similar performance of many ABBA hits. I got some tickets for free being a VIP at the casino (can you tell I go there a lot? LOL) and we got some nice seats, right up front, but not so close where your neck goes stiff. She loved it and she got up to sing/dance with everyone. I think everyone can attest to nothing being more glorious than seeing someone truly enjoy something. I yearn for the day that I can book tickets for bebe and myself to enjoy something like this, have dinner after then perhaps a walk along the fall – very romantic.

When we got home, the kids still weren’t on the street yet, but you could tell the atmosphere was slowly filling in. As 5:30 approached, you could hear the streets fill with laughter and knocks on the doors. The number of kids in our neighbourhood has shrunk significantly. Years ago, it was my friends and I on the streets running house to house. As we live in a more mature neighbourhood and fewer young-couples, it will not be until my friends and I begin having kids that this area will repopulate. As years pass, we hear about older neighbours passing away from old age and it’ll be a while before these houses are captured by new families or those with little children before the area flourishes with new life again.

I must digress though, back to the show we went and watched, I must say that I think it has reawaken my love for white, blond girls, haha. Gawd, those girls were damn fit, this amazing curvy, yet solid, flat-bellied body. Of course all of them being dancers, all had the “ideal weight/sculpture” Even the guy’s bodies made me jealous, nice abs and solid chest… although for some reason, I swear guys can never “fully” get rid of fat because you could still see that while they were amazingly in shape, they still had that typical “male love handles”. The girls were just wow, that same blond girl that’s been in 3-4 shows made me do a second-take on her. See, there’s something about white girls that Asian girls have problems holding up is the body structure. We’re not talking about breasts because there’s plenty of Asian girls with big boobs, but just the general curvatures, seems like Asian girls – NO MATTER HOW FIT – don’t seem to be able to replicate. Even that 80 year-old-guy next to me was commenting to his wife (which made me laugh) how “sexy” the blond girl was on stage, haha 😀 It has been so long since I’ve done a take-two on white girls, I’ve long-gone past that stage of appreciating white girls. Probably since post high-school, I’ve gone back to loving my Asian girls.

The show was very thrilling because it was engaging while providing moments where you can just lie back and dream. I’m pretty sure it’s obvious who I dream about in those romantic moments of the show where the male singer is singing passionately and lovingly to a girl and even through rejection he continues to push forth. To me, that reaffirms that I need to be more strong and put up with the adversities which relationships bring. It dawned upon me that although the little physical contact that bebe shy’s away from, I have a feeling that through the 2 times I touched her hand, one time that I’ve held her hands, if you lined up a bunch of girls, blind-folded me and asked me which hands were hers, I’d probably figure it out 😛 See, they always do these things at pre-wedding or wedding parties, where they see how well they know their own husband/wife. Although bebe and I are far from being a “physically involved” couple, I’m pretty confident that I could tell her apart from just any other girl, haha. Maybe someone will challenge me at our wedding one day XD Every person has tell-tale signs that give themselves off. I think I’d be able to hug out, hand-touch, voice-recognize and smell which girl is bebe. It’s not like I’ve ever (and if I did I’d probably get slapped) purposefully sniffed out bebe, but every girl has a very distinct scent that I’d be able to know whether it’s really her ^__^

So yep, in about 8 hours I have a morning meeting (urg), so I better get to sleep. Thanks for checking in, period-content to come soon! Still so many days before bebe’s back here in my arms, but I have my own holidays to look forward to and then survive another month afterward before her return! Every day gone is one day closer to the beginning of a nice new life for us, happily ever after 🙂

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on November 1, 2010, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. Can’t wait for the new review! I myself have just bought Walmart’s brand exact ultra thin pads. I’ll shoot you a picture soon, and I’ll let you know how they stack up.

    • Hey girl, still gotta reply to that email of yours 😛 Been playing too many games lately XD

      EXACT is actually pretty good 🙂 I know two of my girls use them and besides the unusual stiffness of certain versions of it, it’s not too bad… although I have found moisture along the top layer of the pad is not of particular comfort. I shouldn’t have told you now, haha, since that might skew your opinion of it, but don’t let me stop you from your own testing 😀

      I already tested the Stayfree Overnight Maxi today, pretty awesome stuff… I need to check my calendar to see which one of my girl’s periods next and have them test it. Of course you could call the overnight version just a glorified and larger version of the Super, LOL – but still, they had a bit of subtle differences. I wish they had the winged version =\ but hey, at least there’s some American stuff hitting our Canadian shelf now.

      Speaking of which, see anything about the Stayfree Thermo Control pads hitting Canada yet? I’ve heard some thumbs up from people about how amazingly comfortable it feels, especially when it’s saturated, you don’t even feel like the pad is getting full. I’m sure that’s a wonderful feeling not to have to feel a pool of blood between your legs 😆 And sigh… Stayfree as usual, scented… but they do make damn good pads so can’t complain too much!

      Got some pictures for the review already, from my iPhone and my digital camera, so waiting on me to compose my thoughts and then whip up a post! It has been so long since I’ve made a review so I’m extra excited ^__^

  2. alright, alright. i stopped by!! 🙂 happy to read from me? lolol
    but i’m really happy to read about your mom’s birthday (my mom loves ABBA too haha)!! and i’m glad that your mood is up and you’re optimism is super high!! 😀 no seriously, i’m really happy to read your happy thoughts. those emo posts you have up are a drag to read. 😦 but i seriously LOVE these happy ones from you. you take pleasure in simple things and i think that’s the best. and your little daydream world is absolutely adorable (in a non-mocking, good way). ^_^

    halloween is CRAZY in new york. there was a parade that my friends and i tried to go to but the roads were blocked off by police and barricades (it gets THAT insane here) and we pretty much just walked among the huge crowds of people wearing costumes. it was a parade by itself! it was really fun, though. i’m pretty sure halloween’s not like that any where else. definitely a unique experience.

    • ttyl, gee~

    • OH SHIT GIRL 😀 thanks for dropping by ❤ ❤ ❤ The blog misses you… ok fine, I lie, I missed ya 😛

      My day sucked because of all the stupidity that happened at work today, but now I'm happy seeing you visit!! Ya, I can get pretty emo sometimes and to be honest, sometimes even nasty. I think my one of my readers Sophia got it right, I can be pretty hot-tempered if I'm in a bad mood, lol…. but small things like this makes me happy, so yaya 😆 Whenever I'm in a good mood, you could probably punch me in the face and I'd just smile. I'm as temperamental as a girl on PMS sometimes.

      I love thinking about bebe, mainly because it gives me so much comfort and it makes life feel worth living for. As much as in my life I'm surrounded with loving family and friends, it just can't replace someone who you want to be lifelong partners with. I'm ashamedly say that I'm not sure if I can ever find another girl like bebe who means so much to me and has me constantly thinking about her. I mean previous girlfriends I've had were great, enjoyed our time with each other, made progress, learned, went through all the trials of relationships, so it's not that I regret being with those girls, just that these feelings I have for bebe compared to all these other girls are simply incomparable.

      One of my friends asked me the other day, what is it about bebe that I love her so much. She was expecting like a 5-minute response and it went on for like an hour, LOL, I could list so much, yet each of those revolved around "us" – not just her as an individual, but what she brings to the relationship table as a whole. I'm a firm believer that two people who come together isn't a matter of individualism, but rather, how two people complement each others perfections and imperfections. I think she was trying to figure out why I'm so head-over-heels over bebe and whether I'm just being silly trying to persue her for so long, but I guess she finally got the point and saw it was just one of those "3-minute hotness" where I get bored of her and move on – I want to be with her for real. It sucks I have to daydream instead of us truly making it a reality… and I guess that’s where the frustration comes in, but I can’t say I’m the only one who’s making effort – I know she has/will too.

      Halloween was weak on my street… the number of kids in this area is shrinking. We had a total of 8 kids or something getting candy. The houses in this neighbourhood has long driveways and a lot of the younger kids try to go to the houses with short or no driveways, lol. I have a 6 car-length driveway and when you’re small, that’s almost like hiking a trail to get a few pieces of candy XD

      The sucky thing is that as much as we thought that you moving closer towards me would mean we get to talk to each other more and every time you do go on voice-chat, I’m not at home or already asleep 😦 What’s up with that BS eh? So much for timezones helping us… sniff!

      • HAHAHA YOU SAID “EH.” kanadian!!
        and i’m totally with ya on the complementing part and i’m confident that you guys can make your dream a reality if you both put in the effort. looking forward to her coming back to canada and reading MOAR happy posts from you. 😀

        hm, in seattle, the houses that get the most kids are the ones with the most decorations and lights. i remember this one house i went to every year. their two-door garage had this giant spider web on it and they attached random stuff on it like barbies and fake giant spiders. it was great. hahaha, doesn’t really matter how far the walk was as long as the house had stuff on it. like gravestones and pumpkins.

        but yeah, you’re always away so i don’t really wanna bug you. haha… i went on blogtv earlier (it’s 3:25 am right now) and the people online tonight were annoying. it’s gonna be a while until the next broadcast. derp.


        • Hah, why wouldn’t I say it? It just seems to flow naturally with things you say. You know like in Chinese, ma, jeh, la, lor, gwa, etc. 😆 This should all be very familiar for you, lol. I can’t wait until she’s back either and damn she’s gone for long… I know 6 months in the scope of a life-time is not very long, but I hate the idea of her not at least being in touch with me in reasonable time-frames. I start getting resentful towards the people she’s spending time with and things she’s doing because she pays no attention to me – I’m totally getting played and I know it – LOL, yet I’m still stupid enough huh? I was hanging out with my friend and his girlfriend today and he was like, “the things us guys do stupidly for love!” XD

          I loved the festive houses on our street, we have a few, usually the younger couples or those who are “really into” spicing up their house. The one house I went to always had a cool curtain and lots of spider webs where they made you stick your head through to get your treat – it was kinda fun at that age… now I think that’s just downright retarded 😀 HAHAHAHAHA.

          I’m always on away or busy and the only time I ever truly sit on “online” is if I’m sooooooo bored I NEED someone to talk to 😛 Nevertheless, you can always poke me and see if I’m there! I check my MSN once in a while (since I let it sit on my server) and if you’re there, I’ll definitely come on to chat. To be honest, the allure of MSN compared to my high-school days are long gone. I mean I appreciate the idea of communicating and all, but the last time I’ve used MSN religiously was when bebe and I talked a lot on MSN. It was great, you know, looking forward to being online, catching her on and then sharing great conversations and life/daily experiences. Now, I exchange a couple of words with friends, maybe a few cute girls (Cherrie, Poh Ching and you) from bloggers, my usual girls and my god-sis’ that’s about it. I spend most of my other “communication” time either writing emails to cousins who don’t use IM and then of course the 23472893 text messages I exchange with my friend Claudia everyday and that’s about it. Don’t worry about the whole “bugging” me thing because if you were bugging me, I’d just ignore the message and go back at what I was doing 😀

          I saw the notification pop up on the email, but obviously by the time I received it, it was morning and you were likely to be off already 😛 I’m telling ya, there’s not a lot of awesome internet companions out there for BlogTV 😛 Only fun guys like me can keep an audience interested XD bahahaha.. I can be so egoistic sometimes!

          Man, what’s with this stupid “herp” and “derp” shit coming back eh? (said the ‘eh’ just for you, lol) Every time I pull up Facebook I swear there are enough status updates that have either herp or derp in it, or even worse, BOTH!! BAH. You need to start bugging me more on MSN 😀

        • C… I’m not the only person, especially another GIRL who says it’s way better when u post happy things, makes evry1 feels so much better 😀 Take it from us girls, when yur happy, u appear so much friendlier than when yur upset or angry.

          I luv reading yur blog, can’t even count how many times I check in a day (whenever I hv internet) and whenever I c u post unhappy things, it makes me unhappy too 😦 I do luv reading about how u talk about bebe so much… I kno that others who dunno u well will think u r just obessed over bebe, but isn’t that what luv is abt? It isn’t just a feeling that “comes n goes” but something that is long-standing n everlasting.

          Kekeke… if Alyson wants to hear yur sexy voice more, she can poke u any time… we all know juz ‘cuz u put AWAY on MSN doesn’t mean you usually r unless yur out xDD She needs to get to know u better if she falls for yur MSN tricks, hhahahaha 😆

          I think it’s adorable too how u swoon over bebe and gloat abt her all the time… it’s like yur happy EVEN when she does bad things to u — ur so understanding n patient! Rmbr that u hv to show yur heart to win a girl n not anger 😛 even if what she does is unacceptable, u hv to be the “bigger man” n let it slide. U told me urself, couples always have to learn to “tolerate” each other, even the most ‘perfect’ of couples!

  3. I sent an email a week ago! Weird! I’m going to check my sent files.

  4. What i do not realize is in fact how you are no longer actually much more neatly-appreciated than you might be right now. You are so intelligent. You already know therefore significantly in relation to this matter, made me in my view believe it from so many numerous angles. Its like women and men don’t seem to be fascinated unless it is one thing to accomplish with Girl gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. At all times take care of it up!

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