Embarassed By My Own Natural Reaction

I’ve been thinking lately, I’m pretty embarrassed over my own feelings for bebe. No, I don’t doubt my devotion to her, but rather, my feelings for her have grown.. uh… rather strong. Until a while ago, I’ve had pretty strong emotions for bebe and stuff, but I’ve always tried to suppress my “other” feelings for her. My feelings for her not only have gone from emotional, but even now physical/sexual. When I say I feel sexual towards her, it doesn’t mean I want to throw her on the bed and start having my way with her, but it means I get excited by the thought of her.I know these are pretty normal feelings, particularly for a guy… but it’s embarrassing for me.

My fav type of huggles!!

Bebe, unlike other girls I’ve been with, isn’t one who is the touchy-touchy type or enjoy physical intimacy in a relationship. Hopefully in time I’ll break that barrier and she’ll not only “accept” physical intimacy, but also embrace and enjoy it. I’ve been so happy with how things are going between us lately… the only thing that has bothered me that I’m trying to get over is what I just spoke about, the lack of physical comfort. Even when I talk about just wanting to hug her… she gets all quiet on me or just ignores me. It makes me hurt a bit, but then I keep reminding myself she just needs to experience once before she knows how comforting it is. I mean hugging isn’t exactly a “oh-my-god, he did what?!!” type of move… I would even dare say that hugs for the most part are not highly-sexual in nature. Bebe still seems very avoiding of physical contact and it sort of bugs me, and I’m sure she’s aware of it… but I want to do as much as possible to melt that barrier. Why is it so hard? I need to understand… sigh.

Nevertheless, I think about how much my feelings for her have grown. One might wonder why being excited over your own girl might be so unusual and it’s not, but when I think of her and become excited, it’s not even because I’m thinking of dirty things about her. I don’t think about her nude, I don’t think about her doing sexy things, I simply think about her and I already get excited and horny over her. WHY?!! I don’t even think sexual thoughts about her, how can I get sexually excited?! I mean, I could completely blame just being male and that’s why, but usually I have to think about a girl sexually before I even get excited, but with bebe, I just think about how beautiful of a person she is, inside and out, that it gets me all riled up over her.

PERVERT - Only you could see something other than a mouse

When I talk to bebe, I swear, my eyes glaze over, I get hot inside and I start to swoon over her. She’s SO DAMN HOT… and since when, I ask myself. When I first saw her, I just seen her as “just the average Asian girl”… small, cute and lovable, but I could not recall when I began to just drool over her… I think I need a bib. I’m starting to believe that the way you view physical attraction changes over time as you get to know a person better. Suddenly things about their personality, helps amplify their physical beauty as well… in other words, beauty is also an acquired taste. I hope that in time, I will become more attractive in bebe’s eyes… I’m not even concerned about how others view me now, as long as bebe views me in a positive light. I’m not hoping that she’ll see me as not having any faults, but to learn to love me for who I am. If I can see her as being more beautiful over time, then surely, she can see me as being more handsome over time. I hate to think that because she’s doesn’t “like the way I look” that it prevents her from being physically-close to me.

Some girls also look even hotter when they’re angry and ferocious. I was watching a TVB series today called When Lanes Merge (情越雙白線)… and there’s couple of scenes where she’s angry and ferocious, she looks so frigging amazing. Bebe can look a mixture of scary and totally drooltastic when she has her “angry look” on… 😆 – In all reality, I think I can find perfection in every look she has, haha… could be her best or her worse and I still say it’s great XD

Kate Tsui - Black and White

So tomorrow, I’m finally headed out on a beautiful 18-hour flight to Hong Kong. I’m excited to see my family! On the topic of my blog, I’ve already marked a few feminine hygiene items worthy of purchase and testing while I’m there 😀 In fact, this week there is a Kotex Whites Slim w/ Wings XX-Long on sale @ ParkNShop ($20.90HKD/pack) this week which I’m hoping to get a chance to snatch up before it ends! I’ll be hunting for some good deals so I can test them while I’m there and also, I’m sure my friend Amy has some presents waiting for me already 😆 I already know that as I mention this, she is going to ask me “Is Bebe going to buy some for you when she comes back?!!” ‘cuz she’s been asking for a while, haha. Well, I guess we’ll find out whether bebe remembers to get me a souvenir (although very different than what most people get, LOL)… I’ll update as soon as I get a chance, especially if I get some pictures of Asia’s superior pads/tampons! 🙂 Cheers and enjoy your holidays everyone.


About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on December 7, 2010, in Deals and Steals, Personal, TMI Corner and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Awww.. kekeke, didn’t know u were into Kate… thought she might not be pretty enuf for u. I thought I rmbr u saying her eyes were very weird. N yesh, I hv yur presents, do u hv mine? xDD I hope u actually looked @ yur checklist b4 u left home, otherwise if u forget smthg, I take some away =O

    So did u pick it up from ParkNShop yet? How do u like it if u did? I bet u can’t wait to go out to yur fav aisle to shop 😆

    Hv ne slp’ing problems ar? Hopefully c u soon. So happy u r here. Mk sure u let bebe kno if u haven’t already that u arrived safely 😀 Letz go out for brekkie when u wake up!

    Wuz reading yur fb… did bebe really lay down rules for u? HAHA.. so cute lor. U complain abt how she still doesn’t ‘officially’ call u her bf and that she doesn’t return yur flirts n’ stuff, but even if she doesn’t say explicitly that she gives u the “boyfriend” 名譽, doesn’t mean she doesn’t treat u like one if she doesn’t want u near other girls xDD Wish she would just admit it, haha, make things so much easier.

    OMG, u totally 打飛機 over bebe don’t u!?!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! U can say u dun, but I won’t believe u xDD

    • Haha, I wasn’t really into Kate at first… her eyes had this really “deadly” look… but as you see her more in certain movies and roles, she really has a HAU look too, lol – what typical men like. My uncle was just laughing at me for liking Chrissie Chau too…. of course, men like lang mo’s ‘cuz they’re still young and gorgeous bodies. I still think Kate has this weird gaze, but she definitely gets thumbs up still. I had a “things for Amy” checklist and “my computer stuff” when I left the house… 😆 I just finished unpacking my “secret compartment” with stuff for you, so you can test them out soon because looks like your period is starting 😀 YAY!

      Yep, just updated an entry earlier today with my shopping/purchases at PnS. I llloooveee Kotex White… trust me, don’t want to here me rave about it, might end up in a 10-hour conversation, LOL! I even checked out Mannings, Watson and Wellcome today just to look at similar prices and such.

      Ya, I had massive sleeping problems but I really didn’t want to call you at 2AM 😀 Hit me up for dai pai dong tomorrow since we’re not doing much in the morning.

      Yes, bebe was pretty serious about what I’m allowed and not allowed to do while I’m here XD Guess no more touching girls here, lol. And ya, I think even though she doesn’t like giving me that bf “title”, she treats me like one anyways and has the same expectations for me. Ya, would be nice if she just admitted her feelings for me, lol.. and it’d really make me feel nice. Just don’t think there’s a reason for us to be hiding behind this denial about the relationship, LOL, clearly it’s more developed/successful than one would like to think, haha. We have a beautiful future ahead of us 😀

      I’m not answering your last question, omg… how can you ask something like that? HAHHA oooohh mmaaannn…. who even said I did that to begin with anyways?!! PSH…

      • Dun lie la, u totally do… if u dun answer my question honestly, then no shopping or ‘presents’ for u! Dun forget I still hv yur stuff and since I’m giving it to u for free, u won’t get it until u tell me the truth xDD

        • Blah fine fine… I’ve done that before and over the past while I’ve been getting really attracted (even more than before duh, haha) to her even more get hard thinking about her so easily. Last night after I finished talking to her, it must’ve been hard for so long before I fell asleep. Even when I woke up in mid-night and in the morning, it was rock solid until I was able to calm myself from thinking about her. When I went to sleep last night it was so hard I worried I had to let it go before I could sleep and didn’t want to do it again that day because I already did… I try not to more than once a day, LOL.

          I used to avoid thinking about bebe when I needed to “relieve myself” because it makes me feel guilty that I do that stuff thinking about bebe… but Poh Ching made a good point, I mean if anything, bebe should be the only girl I think about when doing that. I love fantasizing about bebe now… I get such strong ‘endings’ 😆 way more than I ever have thinking about another girl. When I ‘finish’ I barely have any power to do anything else 😀 LOL…. so fucking hot. She recently put a picture up of herself on Facebook and oh my god. My heart started racing and I think I went hard in like… less than 10 seconds, haha.

          There you happy? I don’t believe I’m telling you this -_-” I do still feel bad I do something like this over bebe… she’s not a “sexual object” anything and you know how I hate objectifying women, especially one I love. I don’t want her to think I like her just because she’s able to make me horny or give me something to think about when I jerk off. It’s not like that, I truly care about her and these feelings came after. I avoid telling her things explicitly because I really don’t want to weird her out and you know, at least show some respect for her. I mean I’m not going to lie and say I don’t fantasize about bebe in many ways, but I also wouldn’t want to tell her what things I do and the fact I’ve never felt such intense climaxes before she was on my mind you know? hehe.

          I hope I don’t go dry just thinking about her, LOL… don’t want to be like back in elementary school when I did that 4-5 times a day… HAHAHHA.

  2. Hello,

    I bumped into your site trying to find some information on tampons and masturbation… although not related to your blog, I noticed that you seem to cover both topics and thought you might know.

    Is it ok to masturbate using tampon? Safe/dangers? Which tampons provide the best pleasure?


    • Hi Karly,

      Any menstrual-related question that I can assist with, I will certainly try, even if this particular question is not directly related to the theme of the blog. To answer your question, there are several factors to consider. First of all, masturbation with a tampon for males can be more painful than for females, although it may be hazardous for both genders.

      The use of tampons for male masturbation usually involves in anal insertion and while with proper lubrication is can be done comfortably and help encourage prostate-milking and a powerful stimulation/orgasm. Unfortunately tampons may cause drying of the rectal walls and may cause bleeding. Great care should be taken when a male attempts to masturbate using a tampon anally, as it was after all, designed as an “exit only” and not for things to go in. A plastic applicator may also be used more comfortably when well-lubed, but of course it does not have a withdrawal string, meaning the potential for it “going too far up” is greater. Cardboard applicators I assume would not be very comfortable. Regular and unsafe use of tampons for anal masturbation may result in a rectal prolapse which I assure you is not something anyone would like to endure.

      For females, tampon masturbation (anally) follows suit with the above paragraph. Furthermore, for vaginal insertion, tampons are designed for use DURING menstruation, which means insertion of a tampon outside of one’s period is quite dangerous as it increases the chance of TSS and not only that, removal of a non-saturated tampon is uncomfortable. I should also mention that tampons are known for its absorbency, so not only does it absorb menstrual flow, it absorbs your natural vaginal lubrication as well. Suffice to say, drying of the vaginal is not usually a comfortable situation.

      Now, the use of tampons for stimulation externally is perfectly fine. For instance, using a tampon (because of the fluffy-stiffness) makes for great stimulation when rubbed/pushed against the clitoris or nipples (male/female). I suppose a tampon could be used to stimulate the penis in some way, shape, or form. I should mention that some tampons come with “flanged” ends, particularly plastic applicator ones which may cause some pinching or ouchies if you are not careful.

      I’m not sure what tampon provides the most pleasure, that’d have to do with you personally on the size of tampon you like and the shape of a particular brand/type.

      If you want a powerful orgasm as a result of anal stimulation, it can be achieved with a safer and more sanitary item like a butt plug which exist for both men and women. Don’t forget if you’re using the tampon to stimulate internally, whether male or female, to always use an abundant of lube to ensure comfort, ease-of-removal and for safety reasons! Hope this helps.

    • Anally?!! Owie, that sounds like it’d hurt 😦

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