My First Meaningful Valentine’s Day

You know, having been with a few girls over my years of life, I must say this has been one of the most touching Valentine’s day I’ve ever experienced – well, at least for now – I’m sure bebe will make me love her more and more every year! Nevertheless, it took me a bit of time to consider whether I’d actually say this because it would seem rather unfair to my ex’s. With me ex’s, I never want them to feel as if they were an unimportant part of my life, because they really are and all with the exception of one, I still keep in (relatively) close contact with. My ex’s have helped me develop my relationship aptitude and helped me explore and engage myself in ways I never thought possible. Each one has paved the path of who I am today and that lucky for bebe (HAHA), she will hopefully get to be my final recipient of my love. So when bebe and I get married one day, she owes the way I treat her to all my ex’s who’ve made me the person I am today XD

But anyways, lets set the whole unfairness thing aside, this valentines I truly “feel” it… and I guess perhaps this relationship has delved into more serious emotions and connections than ones before. My most recent ex was probably the most unfortunate one because it was pure lust and perhaps we both used each other to satisfy our “rebounding” feelings. Having been with L for quite a few years, it took me a long time before I could even be with another girl… It wasn’t until 3-4 years later when my heart could even consider another person. L and I had some pretty good Valentines day and we certainly made it special for each other, whether nearby or afar, however, this Valentines with bebe so far away, I still feel super close to her, as if she was sitting right next to me with her head on my shoulders.

Then of course, many years ago, those teenage relationships you never expected to go real far. High-school relationships were either, 1) for pleasure, 2) for status quo and mostly, 3) experimentation. Unfortunately I never dated a girl for #1 which I’m not sure if I regret or not 😆 HAH! For #2 I thought was absolutely useless because a person should not rely on “a partner” to have a specific status within school and so of course I dated for #3. Back then, girls were just someone you’d hang out with after-school, do things with when you’re bored or just someone you could confide in private with… but really, I don’t think at that point a person can truly appreciate what true, lasting relationships are about… people come together and people fall apart in a whim, without repercussion. “Easy come, easy go” was a serious reality. I always thought to myself how disgusting it would be if I were to sleep with a girl who I know every one of my best friends have slept with or “been inside” with – urg, the thought is sickening.

I think it’s very common now that people adapted to the whole, “Don’t ask, don’t tell” policy – if you’re with someone, it’s best you don’t know about their relationship-past or sexual-history. To be honest, I would think 4-5 years ago that I expected any girl that I’d be with to be a virgin (and by virgin, I mean REALLY virgin, as in no sex of ANY type, whether oral, anal or vaginal), but truly, I don’t expect any of the girls I know to be virgins anymore 😀 lol – it’s just not realistic. Bebe has always been interested in my past relationships, as she was always curious in knowing why my previous relationships failed. For me, I probably prefer not to know how many guys she’s been with, what they have done together and I just pretend that there was no one before me, haha, it’s much more settling that way.

So I came to this realization that this valentine is probably one of the most heart-felt one was due to the fact I truly truly FELT COMPELLED to get something for bebe. I know that she’s not big on receiving gifts from me, she’s one of those modern “financially independent” type of girls, but she certainly didn’t reject it either. I actually gave her a few necklaces to choose from and go figure, from all the choices I gave her, she chose the diamond one 😛 how typical girl, haha. I don’t mind though because if I offered it, then obviously I already budgeted to buy it for her initially. It was just amusing that when I was at the jewelery store, all the girls there that I know quite well from buying there a lot, all agreed that bebe would likely pick the diamond one because you know, girls just LOVE diamonds 😆 They said, “A girl will always buy the most expensive one that their boyfriend offers” and I laughed – because bebe did indeed choose the most expensive one.

My gift is not actually in this box...

Getting this present was not without hardships though. When I asked bebe the first time, they actually had a 10% sale going on and by the time she responded, the sale was over. I was still going to buy it even for regular price, but I decided to go to the store to bug them like a typical Asian to see if they would honour the discount even though it was technically over. Luckily, they told me they were restarting the discount due to popular demand the next day, so I told them I’d go make the purchase then… however, I also found out the necklace that bebe wanted was also out of stock at the store I usually go to, BLAH!

I was like OMFG, lol. I was trying to figure out whether they’d get it in and they suggested me to go visit other stores. Alternately, I could order online, but I’m not big on buying something before I actually get to see it, ESPECIALLY, when it comes to expensive things or jewelery. If I’m paying this much for it, it better be the guaranteed quality, correct diamond and gold karat composition and be the exact style as shown in the picture. So I was frantic of course, HOLY SHIT, I started scrambling to every store around the area possible to find it and if I couldn’t find it here locally, I’d drive to nearby cities to get it if I had to. So finally I found a place that sold the exact one bebe picked up and I was so happy! I always watch those movies and think how nutty guys are to look high and low just to get a gift for their lover, but now I truly understand the feeling and reasoning behind it… it’s such a huge disappointment when you can’t get the thing you wanted for someone you care about – so you’ll do ANYTHING just to get your hands on it. So I ordered it and then picked it up just yesterday after work. I left work early so I could “beat the rush” as many guys and gals would be picking up there Valentine’s gift after work due to the discount.

So can you believe it? Today, my mom goes on to “casually ask me more” about bebe. Not only that, but she “advised” me that I should make sure I take [bebe’s full name] out for valentines lunch/dinner to make up for the fact she’s not in Canada now. I can’t believe it, my MOM actually told me I need to take bebe out (not that I didn’t plan to, lol).. but she made it very clear that I SHOULD, haha. Since when did my parents become that involved in girls I like? 😛 Not only that, but I’ve never had a girl in my life who my parents cared so much about whether we actually stayed together, lol. Other than L, my parents didn’t care much for these girls, haha… in fact, the last one I had they utterly hated XD – ok so I guess that proves they did care about the results of my last relationship because they didn’t want me to end up with that girl :lol:… on a totally AWESOME note is the fact my mom: a) wants to get to know bebe more, b) actually remembers her name, c) seems to approve of her, and d) interested in helping me keep bebe and have a future with her … and of course not many people who read this blog know my parents, but if you did, you would realize that a, b, c, and d mean a lot given how little my parents have ever shown approval for a girl I got involved with. They did inquire (or I could say “blame”, hah) me for failing that relationship with L… and funny enough, even though my parents never met her, they seem to really like her. Who knows why… maybe it was ‘cuz she is SUPER PRETTY, haha. I still remember when I went out to Toronto to visit L one year, my dad was picking me up from the GO Train station and asked me why I didn’t try to kau (date/woo) L, but at that time, we had already broken up because she left me for a better looking guy 😦

In case anyone wonders what I got bebe… here it is! I’m actually quite proud of getting her something, not that I shouldn’t or something, but you know – I just feel good about myself and I don’t think there should be something “wrong” with that feeling. It makes me feel warm and tingly inside and even though she might not be quite ready to reciprocate my love for her, at least she acknowledges it, which is important 😀 I cut out the picture below so no one (unless you really like to backtrack links…) can find out where I bought it from and mainly that I’d get in so much shit for buying something so expensive for her, LOL… My friends were like, “You know.. most people only start buying diamonds for their girlfriend when they’re like… about to get married.. not just when you guys are starting out” – but hey, we’re not really ‘just starting’.. or well, the whole situation is complex, but at least we’ve “been seeing each other” for a good year and a half now, so it’s not like we’re total strangers or something and plus, bebe is such a good girl that she’s totally worth spoiling!

How bebe has somehow mesmerized my entire family into liking her, I have no idea, LOL. She’s managed to meet only two of my aunts plus my cousin and my whole family is all happy over her already. She only exchanged a few words with my aunts and maybe a few paragraphs with my cousin 😛 I mean, I know my family has a habit and talent of judging people quite quickly in even the smallest exchange of words and obviously, they all seem to think she’s an excellent girl for me to be with and that we’d make a great couple. I don’t mind them thinking that of course, because it gives me the support/encouragement, as well that I know she will be a great “fit” into my family since everyone’s already given her the “thumbs up” – and particular in Asian families or I should say my family, that approval is extremely hard to earn/obtain! Even my mom agrees that I should “put forth effort” towards bebe, so I can always claim that my own taste/judgments of girls can sometimes be questionable (à la my last relationship, lol), but so far, everyone I know really want to meet her and think we’re definitely relationship-material and I’d say if I couldn’t trust myself in my own feelings for bebe, I can definitely trust others who are normally quite demanding of girls I’m with! All in all, this is a great sign – or at least for the family part. I still have to of course, win bebe’s heart over 😛

I went to Niagara Falls today to enjoy a show and a dinner and it was a great day, but at times like these, I really wish bebe was around here with me. I know she’s having a wonderful time with her family back at home (in fact, even HOME home!), so I while I do miss her greatly, I have to hold back my greediness back and have to respect the fact she has her own family and there’s more to her life than just me. Nevertheless, even if she’s at least thought of me once a day, whether for a split-second or for minutes, I’d still feel really touched and special in her life anyways! There are still a lot of struggles for us in the coming days, weeks and months, particularly with getting her settled here and solving “geographical” issues. I really want this to be the last relationship I’m in… because I love bebe so much! Surely given that there are so many people who can clearly see and even feel how much I care about bebe, that soon bebe will truly feel that she means the world to me and stay by my side and let me love and care for her – forever and always.

and of course… I like when people ask me questions like what’s posed in this song, I can answer using a music video… HAH:

The Temptations – My Girl

And because EMI Publishing is a bunch of fucktards and won’t let people stream off WordPress but can off of Youtube, you have to go there directly to listen to it. When I have time, I’m going to find a way around that. And you wonder why people don’t buy music legally anymore? Why the shit should I buy music when music companies do stupid stuff like this? I hope everyone keeps downloading illegally and puts those idiots out of business until they start embracing the real world. When I see their CEO’s begging on the street for food, I’m going to shit on their heads.

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on February 13, 2011, in Personal and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 21 Comments.

  1. WOOOOOO, it’s v-day here in HK 😀 Only wut, like 5 more hrs for u? Dun forget that means it’s v-day already for bebe too so dun forget to do smthg special for her!!!

    Better not forget, women r vry unhappy if u do, lol.

    • Haha, it’s finally v-day here too 😀 I have bebe’s present sitting in my drawer now, it’s soooo cute ^__^ I love it and when I went to pick it up, one of the girls who was shopping with her (presumed) boyfriend saw the lady wrapping my purchase up and she was prodding her bf to buy it for her but he said it was too expensive and there’s no way he’s buying it for her, LOL. Ouch, that’s a very bad move for a guy to ever say something is too expensive for his baby… he’s asking to get smacked around tonight 😆

      I posted some cute on her wall (although she didn’t find it cute… guess we both have different ideas of what’s cute, hah), so she took it down… that’s like getting kicked in the nuts 😛 but oh well, I think I’m used to the abuse by now. LOL. I’m starting to become more and more like those typical TVB drama guys, always liking the girls who treats the guy the complete opposite, but as long as we have the same ending like those dramas that the guy eventually proves himself and the girl ends up marrying him and live happily ever after 😆 bahahaha!

      • WEEHHH… wut kinda girl gets mad at her boyfriend on v-day for such a small thing T__T wtf wtf wtf WTF! She shld be happy u bother sending smthg special to her -__________- As long as it wasn’t like, “I want to take off yur pants tonight” or smthg, then it shld be ok… u didn’t post that right? LOL!

        That girl SHOULD be jealous n’ bebe shld be vry happy to hv u 😀 Not every guy spoils his baby as sweetly as u do, keke. Or mebe coz u actually hv money to spend on bebe unlike tht guy – just circumstantial.

        So wut super-sweet/special thg did bebe say to u or r u not allowed to repeat it? xDD

        • Hah, I would not say something like that until we were in a serious-serious relationship and even then, saying something like taking off her pants would be something I’d whisper to her, not stick up publicly, haha.. I’m not that stupid 😆

          What super-sweet thing? She didn’t even wish me a Happy Valentines… let alone something super-sweet or special.. Um… ya, I don’t want to talk about that because I spent the latter half of the night going out shooting to vent my frustration, or else I would’ve shot a person instead. I’m not asking her to say she loves me or that she wants to be with me forever, but didn’t even get a well-wish.. The most important thing she did foremost was remove my post and send me a message about how she didn’t like it -_- but no greeting before/after, BLAH. I spent my day thinking about her and I wonder what she did… sometimes she makes me so fuming (not because she got rid of my message, but she didn’t even realize what a special day it is for us) that I want to do bad things.

          I was so angry, I had 8 shots in one loadout, I could’ve blown off 8 heads at the time. I think she’s amazingly capable of controlling her subconscious mind a lot better than most people. Consciously, she has a lot of rationale on why she can’t/doesn’t want to be with me, yet deep down inside, she knows we are great/care about each other. But yet, she allows her conscious-mind to speak much louder and she manages to stop herself from expressing the sweeter-side of her. Bleh. Why me? In fact, why her? She’s such an awesome girl, why does she subject her feelings to supression and won’t show that side of her to me. She scared to make a commitment and knowing that she may end up here, but I can offer her a lot and even make sure that she can have the best of both worlds! So frustrating that I want to kill people – or that is unless I end up killing myself first.

  2. Hey, so I juz got to work…. n’ when I walked past Wellcome, guess wut I saw on sale?

    So I bought 5 boxes for u n’ bebe… goin to ship it over to u tonight as a v-day present for u both 😉 I will probably ship slowest method tho coz it’s not vry heavy n’ it’s not ‘expensive’ enuf for me to ship expressed or registered, so when u get it in the mail, let me kno ar!

    Have fun 😆

    • YOU BETTER BE JOKING, lol. Why would you even send that to me? You know we have these in Canada as well… HAHA. I know that you’re well-wishing us, but I’m pretty sure I can buy my own when we need them. Who knows if I’ll get to use these before they expire… haha… you’d be better off buying these when we actually get married XD I have a feeling there will be lots of waiting involved!

      Or… are you suggesting I use it on someone else other than bebe? TSK TSK… lol. If you are only joking, then good… if you seriously sent it off already then blah -_-” It better not have cost a lot of money because that’d be really silly of you, lol. Watch it get opened at customs now and people will be like wtf…

      • I’m not jk’ing xDD I actually bought n’ send to u ma… 😆 I kno u can get it in Canada… but it’s the thought tht counts rite? Supposed to be the ‘encouragement’ I’m giving u, kekeke. LOL, u’ll kill yurself if u hv to wait until marriage…

        It’s not illegal to send tht, so even if customs open it, there is no prob… also they may expect it newayz since it was ‘dated’ on v-day, haha. It didn’t cost a lot la, n’ plus, u dun calculate the worst of a present by the money involved rite? 😀 When it arrives, u may hv to pay the tax/tariff on it, but then tht’s 4u to figure out, hehe.

  3. “She scared to make a commitment”

    – Bingo, u got it rite… haha… I am a girl, therefore I think like a girl n’ tht is EXACTLY her worry xDD U kno, we dun like to fall madly in luv wit a guy coz tht scares us into believing tht we “can’t escape” nemore n’ we have to accept the truth 😆 Unlike guys, once us girls fall for “Mr. Right” – we can’t let go n’ we can’t accept being dumped, therefore we r very ‘cautious’ when it cm’s to “selecting him” n it mks us vry afraid to commit ourselves coz once we do… then it’s settled 😛 Bebe’s just worried tht u might change her life forever (for the better of coz!), but tht’s not alwayz easy to accept tht she’s gonna go crazy over u. C, I told u those condoms will cm in handy…. KEKEKEKE!

  4. I don’t think it is wrong to feel good about giving a present to your gal. I feel very very loved when someone I love buys a trinket for me. I feel like it is their way of saying they cherish me and want to take care of me. I am becoming more and more independent and self-sufficient (except when I’m ’bout to be on my period. . . then I just want to curl up in a ball and be taken care of like a menstruating disney princess), but presents are still sweet. And with jewelry, you always remember the moment you receive it and when you wear it, you think of the person who gave it to you. That is cool you let her choose too. Valentines Day is the day of luv. 🙂

    • Thank you for helping me put things into perspective! I too feel extremely warm and sweet whenever I think about her, let alone give something to her. Giving a gift really is ‘from the heart’ when it is not done simply out of obligation. I love it too that she’s not one of those girls who will ask me to buy things for her, but rather, it makes me want to buy things for her EVEN more – because she deserves it for being such a great girl! I love spoiling her, although it sucks when I make a habit of it.. might backfire later on 😆

      I err on the practical side of letting her choose because I want it to be something that she’d undisputedly like. It’s terrible when you give someone something and you can tell that they ‘appear’ like they really like it, but deep down they really don’t. When I give her something, I want to know that she’s going to cherish it and use it as the object was intended. I know people have this perception that you have to know a person so well that you can buy a present for them and for it to be right, but I suppose I don’t like to take the risk, haha.

      I decided to give her a heart-shaped one to mark the occasions, not that we’ve progressed far into the relationship or anything, but it’s a reminder that I want to be at her side. I’ve NEVER given another a girl heart-shaped jewelery with all the girls I’ve ever been with and although I’ve never told bebe that, it’s my little way of secretly telling her how I feel about her. For a guy who has given something like this to previous girlfriends, I would say that it may “water down” the notion of love a bit, but for me, this is practically giving her my love-virginity, lol… it’s not a gift that I give out lightly or ever have, so she may not be aware of how important that this gift is. I tend to be a ‘low key’ person and I’m not going to flaunt the matter to her that I’ve never given something like this to another girl before, but as long as we appreciate and cherish each other, that’s all that matters in the end. Love is such a wonderful thing and I want it to be with her every day, whether it is Valentines Day or not! 🙂

      • Luv virginity… lol, she’s taken it now… tht mean she has to b ‘responsible’ n’ keep u 4evr xDD

        So do u think she bought u nethg for v-day? 😛 Has she hinted nethg talking to u, hehe…

        • Yes, she needs to 負責任 for taking my love virginity now 😀 hahahaha. Not sure if she’s bought me anything for v-day specifically… and I suppose I’m tending to agree with what my cousin said about dating girls with different ages. If you date a younger girl, expect that you’re going to be the one to ‘tum’ her all the time. If you date an older girl, she’s more likely to take care of you and ‘tum’ you in return more. I kind of think back and it’s true, when I was with an older girl, she was the one to spoil me and she knew how to make me feel good about myself. On the other hand, dating bebe, I have to find a lot of ways to keep her happy and it’s hard for me to expect her to ‘tum’ me in return, especially because she likes to be so cold sometimes =_= If girls devoted the same amount of energy making up excuses for things and invested it into other things, I’m betting bebe would love me a lot more too XD HAHA!

          Other than Facebook and a few text messages, she hasn’t talked to me on MSN since like early January. It’s kinda annoying, although she tells me she doesn’t even go onto MSN to talk to her friends anymore. It’s kind of sketchy, I try really hard to believe it, but it seems so evasive. I can’t decide whether I get angry or not.

          But ya, I think it bothers me that she tells me she’s always in front of her the computer and that she watches or shows and stuff which is fine, because until she establishes a life here, there’s not much for her to do here. But yet, if let’s just say she spends maybe 12-15 hours a day watching her shows, she essentially said I distract her from her shows if she has to talk to me (which is true, hard to talk/watch at same time), but if she spends that much time watching her show, can she not just devote an hour or a bit to talk to me? I mean sometimes her excuses just make me explode sometimes. Like ok, 10 hours of watching a show, take a break and talk to me? I mean yes, sometimes the things she say I can swallow it and say, “ya, that sounds like a valid excuse” and other times when she spends so much time in front of the computer that she can’t even cut a bit of time to talk to me? That’s totally outrageous.

          And ya, I know what you meant in your other comment about my patience level. Obviously I can only take so much of it, and when I have to become aggressive about the relationship then it’s totally going to suck. I hate having to put pressure onto people or have to be mean about stuff, but really, sometimes you have to at least dangle a carrot in front of the rabbit to chase after it. I don’t want to become aggressive with her because I really love her and don’t want to ruin the relationship. But she can’t keep pushing me until I explode and get pissed off. At least when she uses valid excuses I can accept it, but when she has some weird excuses that doesn’t seem “logical” then it really makes me want to go ARG.

          Even though I know bebe has quite good manners and come from a very good family, sometimes I wonder what goes through her thinking she can treat me like a rag-doll sometimes and throw me around as she sees fit. I don’t think her parents would recommend her treat a guy like this either, especially her mom because she seems like a very nice woman! If bebe appreciated me like her mom appreciates her dad, that’d be great and life would be great for both of us! Sometimes dealing with her 牛脾氣 is like dealing with a little girl XD But I’m pretty 一成不變 as well, so once I have her in my sights, she’s not going to make me stop loving her that easily 😛

          She’s just stubborn with love, haha.

  5. Dun explode la, u might scare her xDD n’ well of coz if u explode, then u won’t exist nemore to tk care of her, haha.

    • Haha, depends how desperate I get or if she hurts me too much XD lol. I love her too much to explode on her… I just mostly explode on other, innocent people… LOL…

      • so so so.. tell me tell me!! Did bebe like ur present 4 her? xDD How did it look on her? Did ur eyes just glaze over n’ u faint? LOL.

        • Haven’t had a chance to see her yet, hopefully in a few hours though!

          I think I like her present more than she does XD I love it so much and I’m sooo happy when I can give it to her. I was just talking to L about it a few nights ago and I was telling her how bebe said she’d “wear it sometimes” – and then L was like, “That material she can wear it all the time”… and so I went to ask the lady at the store and she said the whole idea about white gold is that it matches any type of clothing/style! So now hopefully bebe will keep it on her all the time, particularly because the lady said it’s not necessary to take it off for sleeping or showering because of the material. Neither white gold nor diamond will have problems being exposed to water/sweat or whatever.

          I actually hope that her friends are free for her tonight, so she can wear it out and show it off to them? 😛 I’m such an egoistic and overly-proud boyfriend eh? LOL! I can’t lie that I don’t spoil my bebe to little itty bits 😀 Even better would be if she invited a few friends out as well for dinner ^__^ Dreams.. dreams.. lol.

          I do hope she likes it and wears it often. Every time I see L, she always has that nice necklace on her and I’d really like bebe to keep mine on her all the time, particularly because it’s a keepsake and a memento from me. It’s probably not good to take it off and put it on all the time for the chain. Of course I won’t know if she doesn’t wear it when she’s not with me, but I guess all I can do is trust that she will 😛 It does look pretty and I think it is suitable to wear even casually or formally. I think it’d definitely catch people’s eyes too if she wore it and people would comment on it! I didn’t pay so much money to have it sitting in her drawer, haha.

  6. U shld juz be 主動 with her friends n’ ask them to cm along or to b inclusive of them rather than going through bebe… coz if u ask her, she will probably be shy for a long time n’ not invite them. Also, it puts bebe into a situation where her frds get to kno u better n’ may help ur situation into persuading her… obviously her frds r vry important to the way she thinks/acts n’ stuff… If u know sm of her frds, juz get in contact w/ them directly, ask them to cm out n’ also hv bebe there w/ u! bebe keeps on “hiding” u from her frds n’ not let u meet them or nt 承認 the position u hv in her life… so u hv to jump ahead 😛 Smtimes u can’t be too nice to girls… haha.

    • Hrm it’s not that I’ve never considered that before… I’m just waiting to see if she’ll take the initiative to let me meet her friends or ask to meet mine. If she doesn’t in a certain period of time, then I’ll jump ahead and do it myself. I certainly hope that she’ll be the one to make it happen – but if I have to, I will ask well… even if it means probably pissing her off a bit 😆 I have a time-frame in my head which to execute this, but I’d rather keep it a secret ^__^ I know there’s not a lot of secrets that I keep from you or one of my girls, but this would be one of them… haha.. my plans no one ever finds out about 😛 I can be quite devious sometimes, lol.

      Her friends are definitely important to her and I think they really do help mold the person she is now. I actually sometimes think her friends are more emotionally responsible/mature. In a way, I also hope that her being around her friends, especially those with boyfriends/girlfriends will help her develop the sense of what our relationship should be like and where we are headed in the near future. I know she hides me from her friends because she doesn’t want me to get involved with her friends until we’re “official” but it has been quite a while since we’ve known each other and I think like my cousin said, even when he brought his girlfriend home the first time, he just referred her as “a friend”… I’m not asking bebe to introduce me as her boyfriend if she doesn’t want to yet, but at least be inclusive of me as just to ‘meet another person’ … networking of sort. If she’s going to keep sheltering me from her friends forever, then yes, I will be a bit more aggressive in terms of making my own contact with them. Everyone has their limits of patience and understanding, haha 😀

      I can be forceful when I need to be, I just like to give people ‘chances’ to proceed on their own XD

      • YAY!!! Friday Friday Friday Friday. Nt Friday 4u yet 😛

        Seems like u’ve given her plenty of chances already to step-up the relationship… U shld give her a “deadline” n’ stick to it… coz u alwayz seem to hv to push n’ shove her to get her to act or smthg. I kno it doesn’t seem nice, but u need realistic targets n’ let her know wt is acceptable and wt is nt! Otherwise u kno, we like to procrastinate n’ we juz drag it on n’ on 4evr. Jump straight for her friends, introduce urself, let them kno abt how u feel abt bebe n’ ask them to help out or even to meet them on ur own accord if bebe doesn’t want to be inclusive. U dun even hv to tell her ur doing it, just keep it privately btwn her frds n’ u… altho I’m sure tht they will tell her, but at least by then they will hv a great opinion of u ^__^

        So wt she doing now? Look for job, look for more courses? I bet ur crawling everywhere begging ppl to hire her xDD Nethg u can do to help her out, hehe… I kno u will coz u will even do it for a frd, let alone her! 😀 She still out there w/ her frds or u pick her up n’ she’s bk @ home already? Keep in touch w/ her while she’s out there tho, it mk her rmbr tht sm1 is alwayz out to care 4 her n’ tht she can alwayz hv u to rely on! It just makes a girl feel very swt-swt 😛 No matter how much support her frds give, ur her ‘man’ n the person she goes to when she is in dire need… tht’s how it alwayz works out, we nvr realize how important the guy is in our life until smthg big occurs n’ we go straight to them xDD Mebe bebe doesn’t hv ‘pressing’ worries or concerns rite now so she doesn’t c it… but when smthg big cm up, she’ll fly straight to u n’ expect her to solve all her probs 😆

        We definitely like to spend days w/ our girls, it helps us get away from u guys… also sm time for u guys to hv a boy’s night out… juz as long as u maintain in contact, then all is gd! At least if she’s not a lezzie then u will nt hv to worry abt her being with those frds… unless there r guys there, then u definitely need sm1 to look out for her for u 😉

        • Hey, just noticed I missed this message… so tired after updating my newest entry, will shoot something back to you if I’m free tomorrow or later on!


        • Well, I think in my head, I’ve already determined how much more time I’m going to give her. She did approach me about giving her time and also that she’d introduce me more formally to her friends/family when she feels she can fully accept me. That’s just getting slapped by her saying that her friends only bring their “boyfriends” to their meets rather than just their boys (bleh), so I lack the status to attend her functions. It hurts about as much as getting kicked in the nuts… or rather, since you don’t know what that feels like, compare it to you getting her nipples pinched and twisted… LOL! I understand that to her, her group of friends would almost be like me meeting her parents and she wants to be fully comfortable with me since when she introduces me, it’d be awfully weird if SHE didn’t even feel comfortable… I do understand BOTH her points, it’d be awkward if I were to attend something and bebe would be like sitting on the opposite side or seemed distant, lol… holy weird that would be. As much as I understand, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck though 😛

          She’s looking for a job or perhaps pursuing a designation. I’m not sure how much time she invests into looking into it and I don’t want to ask her, because then it’d just seem like I’m nagging her to go to school or get a job. Honestly, I’m not concerned so much with what she prefers to do, I just want her “involved” in something that will keep her here, LOL. For all that matters, if she decided she didn’t want to do either, wanted to get married and stay at home to take care of the kids, that’d work for me too 😆 but she’s WAY too headstrong to want to be a homemaker, haha.

          Yep, I definitely try to look for things for her, but you know, in the work world sometimes you can’t just point at a person and say, “I’m hiring that person.”… you still gotta do it SEMI-fair by resume, interview, testing, etc. As much as people I know would want to give her a chance, she still has to apply formally and maybe then perhaps they can do favours… but she’ll still have to drop her resume or application to the place. I know she hates the idea of doing taxes at the CRA, but I think that’d be the best place for her to start off since it’s government, stable, has room for advancement and most importantly, I know a good number of people who work in there that might be able to “lend a hand” if she were in the application pool.

          Well she’s back now… but she was at her friend’s for a good week and a bit. It’s fine with me that she goes out to see her friends, no problems with that at all, as long as she keeps in touch. It’s a bit of a pain since her text messages cost money and she doesn’t have a data plan. She doesn’t talk to me over Facebook chat (that’s just cruel what she does, don’t even get me started), she hides/blocks on MSN sometimes and all I have access to is her cell phone and she’s not able to text/chat for free until she gets a new plan.

          Speaking of (phone) plans, I remember her telling me that the whole point of her getting a “zone” plan was that she could keep in touch with her friends in Mississauga while she lives here. Now she’s already ‘phantom planning’ about moving out there… even though the whole point of her getting a new phone plan was to encourage her to keep in contact with them, yet stay around local here… so now when I have to see her, it isn’t just a matter of a 20 minute drive away… SIGH… you girls like to 反口 don’t you? Not necessarily lying, but definitely ‘playing with words’ 🙄 PSH. I know she hasn’t moved yet or made a permanent decision, but looks like she’s pretty adament about going there. It’s bad enough she goes out there so often, lol, let alone live out there. She’d be doing things all the time with her friends that she wouldn’t have time for me. It happens now… whenever she’s out in Mississauga, she’s doing so much with her friends she barely has time to keep in touch with me… that’s the more annoying part, not the fact that she’s not around. I’m fine with us having a separate life, I’m not ok with the fact that I can’t reliably stay in touch with her.

          As far as I know, any guys that would be in the room with them at the same time would be one of the girls’ boyfriends… so I’m ok with that, since I’d assume they’d be loyal and wouldn’t go after bebe. Nevertheless, sometimes I do have to be on the lookout because apparently she has some guy-friends I need to be weary of. The good thing is the guy is already dating one of bebe’s best-friends and they keep their distance now. The scary part, is I don’t know how many more of these ‘close’ guy friends bebe has because I can tell she’s more comfortable with these guys, than with me. I might have to find out some info about these guys XD If I even suspect any of these guys… then hrm… they’re not going to be seeing the nice side of me 😛

          You may wonder why I’d care that bebe has guy friends… and under normal circumstances, I don’t.. but last night she was reiterating her “comfort level” with me and it shows that she seems to be more comfortable with random guy strangers and particularly close to certain guy friends which I’m not too pleased about. Will it be further into our relationship where we’re stable, I wouldn’t even care about her having close guy friends because at that time, I’d know she’s loyal and committed that I’d trust her enough to be in regular contact with guys and not worry. Until she admits to feeling comfortable with me and acting so, I have to be very leery of any guys that get close to her…

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