Moms Say the Darnest Things…

So let me start by talking about a little “incident” over the last week that has been kind of creepy (although, positively creepy). About 2 weeks ago I had a coworker who is a big fan of psychics and each year, about this this time of year, they come to our city. Ever since my dad passed away, each time she goes to the psychic, they would be always sense my dad’s presence as not only were they coworkers, but great friends as well. At around 8PM the night she went to the psychic fair, she sent me a funny message saying that my dad came through “very strong” and that he was asking about what happened with the car (I recently had work done on my car due to some fuel efficiency problems) and that he is waiting for his grandchildren now! I laughed and although it’s always nice to hear things about deceased loved ones, I guess sometimes you are skeptical about how reliable the information is or how “real” these things are. Suffice to say, our family is what I would deem as a “spiritual” family… we believe that there’s more to life than what meets the eye and although we are not highly religious of sorts, we do practice our faith to a degree. While I would hardly consider ourselves “devotedly religious” by any means, we also don’t think that human life is as simple as birth and death.

I did not show my mom the message yet because my mom yet, although I did show bebe who got a chuckle. A few nights later, my mom woke up in the morning and was in a very cheery mood because she told me she had finally seen my dad (via a dream) since he hasn’t “visited” in a while. My mom is one of those people who sometimes I wonder if she has “special powers”… because many times things she saw in dreams have become ‘true’ or has manifested itself in one way or another. I’m not going to say EVERY dream she ever had happened, but certainly, I’m always scared when she tells me about her dreams. She said that she saw our family (including my dad) enjoying a gathering with her best-friends mother (let’s just call the friend E and her mom C). Also in the same night, my mom also told me dad had a conversation with her and asked her to tell me, “呀仔加油畀心機追你嘅女朋友!” (My son, continue your efforts in chasing your girlfriend!). Like I said, sometimes I am skeptical about what my mom tells me from dreams because she has an “overactive mind”… but what I’m going to tell you to follow is freaky. However, assuming that dreams can sometimes help bridge “human life” and “spiritual life” – I’d be very happy to say that my dad approves of bebe and that we will have a successful relationship as long as we’re willing to devote effort into each other.

3 days ago, E called my mom and told her she was very excited because all of a sudden her mom, C… called E and told her that she will be coming to Canada as a “last minute” plan to enjoy the start of Canadian spring. My mom was shocked… because just a week ago, she had a dream about C being in the dream with my dad and our family at a gathering… How could the dream have been so realistic, is this something my dad was “telling” my mom that she would be coming? E & C are very good friends of our family, so therefore we’ve always had a great relationship with them so it wouldn’t be a surprize if my dad “reported” to my mom to expect a visitor. My mom had this weird look when she put down the phone.. I guess shock and surprize. C has not come to Canada to visit E (her daughter & my mom’s best friend) since 2006 because of some major injuries and surgury. All of a sudden, after my mom’s dream, days later C actually called E telling her that she was coming and gave her the itinerary.

Ok… so yes, we could all say this was just an “unusual coincidence” that my mom dreamt of a gathering with my Dad, our family and C… but dreams after often “recollections” of things that have happened or manifest itself into our minds… but this situation that was predicted HASN’T HAPPENED and in fact, just “became true”… I guess in a way, it validates that sometimes my mom has this unusual nack for connecting spiritually with my father (after all, they WERE married and soul-mates, this wouldn’t be a surprize) and also, dreams I have about my father are usually very strong and supportive. Many times, I’ve had things my dad told me to be aware of through dreams really did come true. It is kind of freaky. At the same time, this is a very warm feeling knowing that dad is always around to protect us and to give us guidance when we need it. Most importantly, I know that my dad, even beyond the grave, approves of bebe and he encourages me to pursue her love. Now with my mom and dad’s approval of bebe, I’m all in! Hey, my love-life has steadily improved with bebe and I think she is even to begin feeling a little – so thanks to all the blessings of (living) family and friends and also that of our ancestors and the heavens.

Yesterday, I mentioned to bebe that in the near future, I’d like to open up a bank account for her and put a bit of money in every week so she’d have some extra money to spend. I have only did this with ONE other serious girlfriend before and I’m always very careful about it… after all, I don’t want to be used by a gold-digging girl. Furthermore, I’ve used this in the past as a “test” to see how well the girl manages money, responsibility and practicality as well. Although I’m going to wait until bebe and I are on better terms, I have a feeling that this relationship will become successful. She mentioned that one of her friend’s boyfriend does this as well and thought perhaps this is “common” — I told her this is HARDLY the case. I’ve asked around my friends before and most of them are like, “Dude, are you stupid? You should NEVER give her girlfriend money like that…” and most of them don’t even see that happening even POST-MARRIAGE, let alone dating. I questioned myself to make sure I “felt” the want to give bebe some spending money as well as whether it is a SMART choice to make – because we all know money can ruin women 😛

Through major deliberations, I decided to run the idea through bebe to see what she says. She of course said, “Oh you don’t need to do that” – but I couldn’t tell if it was the usual “girl humbleness” to not make herself look like she WANTS that money, or deep down she really loves the idea of having two purses to spend (her parents and mine, lol). From what I’ve seen, bebe is fairly responsible with money, that is why I even contemplated this in the first place. I still need lots of in-depth time to “study” what kind of person bebe is… I mean yes, I do trust her, but I am also practical in the sense I’m not stupid enough to let a girl take advantage of me. I do want to know without a doubt that she is trustworthy and not playing me for a fool. This is not only the case with money, but even for other things. Deep down in my heart, obviously I trust her, but on the surface using LOGIC – I definitely have to keep my smarts about it and not let my emotions consume me. I guess we will find out her genuineness in time. I went to the bank to give her some money yesterday, something nice for her to spend while she’s out there with her friends and stuff, I want to hope that was the right decision.

So today my mom asked me while shopping what we do about handling bills. For the most part, 9 out of 10 times, I would say I pay the bills or any type of dating expenditures. Am I really old fashion to think that the guy always has to pay? I know that especially in an era now that we “casually date” and that there are “open relationships” – dating couples have opted to do 50/50. Maybe I’m too old fashion to accept that a girl should pay. My mom asked because she wanted to know whether bebe ever bothers pulling out her wallet or that it is in her expectation that I am always the one paying. My mom likes to know details because people in relationships are often blind to things… she just wants to make sure I’m not being used. Even my mom said, when she was young, many guys would offer to take her out and every night, she could always get free dinners if she wanted to. Likewise, my mom said that I have to be smart about watching how bebe is treating me, whether she is being equitable in paying when we go out. After all, she doesn’t want her son being rung dry by a girl who simply wants “a good night out” with no expense to her. Bebe certainly has paid for our food/activities before but I think she also won’t get into a fight with me about it, LOL. Although I love bebe very much, I am still “cautious” of these things, so I’m not totally blind yet by bebe, haha.

Date One: Yes, Make the Offer
Most men want to treat on the first date. He wants to show that he is in fact a gentleman. This fine young man will reach for the check when the conversation has settled a bit, pretend to check the figures, and take out his wallet. What should you do? Ask if you can contribute by paying the tip or part of the bill (be prepared just in case he takes you up on it). This is your way of acknowledging his gesture. We just want the offer. A sweet thank-you is also appreciated. That is all men really want — some simple recognition. But, do not go further than making the offer — do not insist on paying your half, even if you’re having the worse time of your life. This is like saying to the guy, “I could never be interested in you.”

Dates Two and Three: Actually Making a Contribution
Out for dinner once again, maybe a movie this time, or bowling or a dance club, etc. Some money is being spent somewhere. Again offer to contribute. Again say thank you when he insists on paying. However, this time find some way to make a contribution. Examples: Buy the popcorn at a movie, buy a round of drinks at a bar, buy some ice cream after dinner. Many guys will say that is not necessary, but it is definitely appreciated.

Dates 4 and Beyond: Time to Insist
Most men like when the women take the wheel for a night or two. Once you are “dating,” you should plan a night and insist on paying. This gesture again is a nice way to recognize that you appreciate your guy being generous on dates one through, and now it is your turn. A nice guy will offer to contribute and it is okay to reject his contribution.

Having read some articles recently, it does appear that “bill splitting” seems to be common on dates now. Weird for me, but I guess that’s how society is moving now – or even if you don’t split the bill, at least make sure the night is “even” between the parties… i.e if someone paid for lunch, then the other should pay for dinner – or something like that. I guess the thing is that a lot of these rules apply to “casual dating”… and right now, I don’t think there’s anything “casual” about bebe and I, lol. Any guy who even thinks about going after bebe right now is asking to cut their lifespan considerably as a bullet will find its way to their throat very quickly. But anyways, bebe has always done her share and has never made it an issue to cover any remainders (especially when cash is involved, OOPS) or to pay the outstanding tip or whatever. It seems like lots of people recommend “talking about bill-splitting” – but that’s an awfully weird conversation to have.

1 Talk about how to split the bill in the first few weeks of dating. Ask your date if they want to always split the bill so no one feels obligated. The beautiful part of this is since you both expect to pay there won’t be awkwardness when the bill arrives.

2 Take turns paying. If your boyfriend paid for dinner last time, just grab the check when it arrives! This way you can go back and forth and it’s essentially the same as splitting the bill.

3 Split the cost of the evening instead of splitting a single bill. When you’re going to dinner and a movie on a single night, ask the person you’re dating if they’d like to pay for the movie or for dinner, and tell him or her you’ll pay for whichever they don’t choose.

4 Avoid being insistent about paying. Some men and women can actually become offended by the idea of someone constantly paying for them (or even paying just once). If your date says no and insists on splitting the bill, it’s best to just agree.

5 Be honest when you can or cannot afford to split the bill. It’s better to just let your partner know you’d rather go to a coffee shop than to a 5-star restaurant.

Tips & Warnings

Set aside some money for every time you go out, specifically for the purpose of splitting the bill. It’s best to always assume you are paying for your share so as not to appear like you are taking advantage of your partner.

Don’t make taking the bill on yourself a habit. The more you pay, the more it will become expected, and you’ll be stuck every time you go out with paying for the meal or the movie. Offer from time to time, but also ask, “Wanna split it today?”

Interesting on that last one about the “warning”… I wonder if it’s true. I’m not sure… right now, maybe I’m being stupid, but I consider bebe “just like family” and my sweetheart… I try not to think of us as “you” and “me” – but rather, “us”… so what’s the big deal about spending our money? I think most people would say I’m playing a dangerous game here, allowing a girl to: get money out of me, have dinners & activities paid for, her personal chauffeur.. etc. Am I being too innocent or is it because I’m so committed to her I feel there shouldn’t be a separation? I’m sure there’s always a risk of being used, but seriously, bebe treats me great and if she wasn’t being genuine about her feelings for me, she could use me but give me NOTHING in return and I’d still be enough to do it. The fact she’s making a very real effort, I would like to assume/feel this is all real and not fake.

I’ve also noticed that bebe isn’t very picky when it comes to choosing a place (in the sense she will not always demand we go “somewhere nice”)… we can eat nicely or eat casually – that to me is very important. If she asked me to take her to a nice place EVERY time and expected me to pay, then for sure my mind would start noticing something wrong. I dislike wasting food, so I always try to not over-order and I expect the same of bebe. I would never have an issue for paying for food she can eat, but I would be upset if she ordered lots and didn’t eat it. Having a “bit of food left” at the end is very different than “ordering a table full of food to eat a plate.” I love the way that bebe makes me feel good about never having given me flack for places I’ve taken her in terms of whether it was “up to her standards” e.g high-class restaurant versus a locals joint. I think I noticed that most when I was with her in HK where she was more than happy to accompany to eat at not-so-nice places. I followed through by reading a question a reader posted up on the AskMEN site… entitled “Does She Love Me For My Money?” – it makes you think although this is definitely NOT how I feel about bebe.

My mom said she recommended me to sometimes stay at home and do things with bebe and just cook together. Bebe in the past have told me she dislikes when we eat at home because she has to do the dishes. I always tell her I can do the dishes if she doesn’t want to. I don’t want this to become a valid excuse for her not to eat at home. My mom says that the “highest level of genuineness from a girl” is making a meal with each other at home. She should be willingly to make a meal for a guy, not necessarily “the best meal ever” – but showing that she doesn’t always want to just dine out and that cooking as a couple is not simply the objective of “putting food in our mouths” – but a FUN experience of COOKING TOGETHER. This isn’t something I’ve never thought of before, in fact, the past month I’ve been always offering to let’s cook at her house. It has hurt me that each time she always uses the “dishes” excuse… and let’s just say IF dishes are a problem, can she not at least find it in her to eat at home sometimes? Sure it is a hassle, but I’m not asking her to do that on EVERY date, just that being able to spend time in the kitchen with each other, learning a new recipe or trying a new meal – even if we FAIL it, at least we have an experience and memory. Right now, this is the only thing I’m kind of upset about on why we HAVEN’T done this yet – why does she a) use the same excuse, b) not just be willing to do the dishes regardless of the complaint and c) learn to appreciate some home-cooked meals with me. I like “variations” in my life… I do not expect her to invite me over every night to eat, but I also don’t want to go out to eat all the time and not have HER at least sacrifice a bit of her unwillingness to do the dishes/make a mess as a justification for not being in the house/kitchen. I kind of got annoyed when I was looking at pictures I had saved on my phone with bebe, I could clearly note she had parties with her friends at her house (with the kitchen clearly visible) – so my challenging question to her would be why you let YOUR friends come over and prepare food in the kitchen, but not ME? This has only been a small matter for me, but I can slowly feel it manifesting inside me towards dissatisfaction of “equality” between her friends and I and the lack of motivation for her to “do something for me.”

Anyways, last night really ended up well so I don’t want to let something small make me question her motives and feelings. I need to be more positive about outlook at things she does because sometimes her actions does make me think, but at the same time, I’m not going to be too hasty and judge her too quickly. Obviously if something’s amidst over time, then I will act on it, otherwise, it may be just a simple “phase” thing that she’s going through. Maybe it just doesn’t cross bebe’s mind that something as simple as “not offering to cook at home” is not offensive, but to me, it makes me wonder WHY a girl who I’ve been with this long hasn’t at least offered once to make something for me at home but fobbing me off with excuses. I know her kitchen isn’t in the best condition or the most romantic setting, but come on… If I have to pressure her to do it, then it has no meaning. Sometimes I think we need to do things from the heart and not simply because we have to be “asked” to do something. Maybe this is the problem with girls who have not had more relationship experience, so maybe I do need to “teach” her these things or explain to her “this is how I see the current situation”… but ya…. well who knows, maybe she’ll kick up the role a bit later. Even if she doesn’t know how to cook a lot, at least we can make “quick-fix foods” or she can even feel motivated enough to LEARN something just for the sake of making a sweet-dinner.

My mom truly believes that girls should be “responsible” as well when it comes to paying on dates… it’s not a matter of being so calculative as in… the bill is $50, so therefore you owe $25 and I will pay $25… but a matter of that there should be equality and an acceptance of responsibility and not being the rung through the dryer. I don’t mind bebe not always paying particularly because she’s still using her parents money and not earning any income, so hopefully she’ll start being a bit more prudent about us doing stuff together around-the-house and making food together as a way for us to “become closer.” I know for the rest of my life I will be catering for bebe and that’s MY fault for loving her so deeply and to allow myself to do that… but I also want a bit of that ‘return’… which bebe has told me she’s not ready to return that sacrifice yet… but everyone has a tolerance level and it’s like those nuclear reactors in Japan… those reserves can withstand a degree pressure, lack of water to keep it cool and can go without maintenance for a bit… but not giving it water when it needs it and letting it wear down to a dangerous point is a recipe for an explosion. I don’t want to ever have to reach that point where I need to point out to her that she treats her friends better than me and that she’s not being “fair” about it and have me even become explosive on her friends – because that won’t be nice… maintain those reactors, do patch-work, be diligent about keeping the water levels topped up and all will be fine. Excuses don’t cut it in a relationship, the only PRACTICAL solution is to do something about it.

Just like one of my annoyed friends use to say when he saw those “closed” signs on business doors, “Sorry, we are closed at the moment.” and he always hissed, “If you were fucking ‘sorry’ then you would be OPEN right now!” — lol… I mentioned to bebe that I’m free during the weekdays too if she wants to go out or whatever, whether she’s returning back to town or whether she wants me to go out there to meet her… I wonder whether she’ll actually heed it.

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on April 3, 2011, in Personal, Thumbs Up Reads and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Vry gd tht ur dad approves 😀 Imagine how many girls cm through ur doors b4 n’ ur parents always say ‘no’… now u hv a girl tht nt onli ur mom n’ dad say YES, but even ur FAMILY! I can’t comment much else on the money part… I kno wt u mean, when even I look at the ‘quality’ of girls now… can’t deny how many of them juz want to use guys for money coz they’re stupid enuf to hand-out money tht it makes it EASY for us to “take n’ not give”… However, I’m sure tht if u chose bebe in the first place, u kno vry well tht she’s nt tht kind of girl! Nt onli do u need to trust HER, u need to trust UR judgment of her, coz it’s important u r the one who needs to believe tht she is faithful n’ true to u.

    Bebe seems to b the type tht u hv to push to get her to move… so I guess if u wanna do more things arnd the house n’ hv her eat at home w/ u, u r likely going to hv to ‘just do it’… buy sm stuff n’ tell her to get the kitchen rdy. She seems to lack motivation in relationship stuff coz she’s nt sure “how to move forward” or “how to be expressive” … so u need to give her the prod to move once in a while. Dun ask or give her a choice, coz smtimes I find u give her too many options? U need to be FIRM in ur decisions n’ also learn tht u need to TEACH her these things. U cannot expect her like other girls to ‘know’ how to act within a relationship. U r her guiding hand and also her ‘leader’ in this relationship… n’ while I understand u want to be soft w/ her, there r times when u need to step ur foot down.

    Nt wanting to do the dishes is a vry shitty excuse… ONLI u wuld believe it, lol. It’s nt even abt doing the dishes or nt but rather, she shuld suck it up n’ do it for u coz u tk her out all the time. For 10 times u tk her out, certainly she can stand to do the dishes ONCE…. it’s not valid n’ a vry shoddy lie… if she’s hungry enuf, she’ll do smthg abt it if u dun take her out, so if u need to be hard-ball w/ her, then do tht until she “gets the hint”.

    Re-read the part in the ASKMEN article on: “it’s also your fault, Winston” section… U will c tht smtimes if she’s not cooperating, u need to call her out on it. U gotta let bebe kno tht she needs to be considerate of making stuff at hm w/ u smtimes too. U can’t just let bebe juggle u arnd just coz she has the dishes excuse or doesn’t want to messy-up the kitchen. Just explain to her ur tired of eating out or juz like to spend sm time at home… I cannot see any reason other than selfishness or inconsideration if all she ever wants u to do is to get her out of the house.. otherwise then the house is juz a hotel, nt a “home”!

    Don’t explode like a nuclear reactor… coz I kno it will nt b good for u, her or her frds if tht happens 😐 I’m sure she wuld rather u b in one piece 😛

    For sure if she’s nt doing stuff on wkday w/ her frds… then she shuld set smthg up w/ u. Of coz it’s workday which means it’s nt as convenient, so then “plan” it… also, if she happens to get her period or smthg, I’m sure u’d b xtra happy if she tells u n’ wants to go on a date w/ u xDD

    • I know eh? Can’t believe it… lol. I guess I always mention bebe when I pray, so it wouldn’t be a surprize if everyone, dead OR alive knows her name 😆 When big aunt called on my birthday, she asked me how things were going with her and saying how it’d be great if next time we went back to HK, it would be both of us together. I really want to go visit Malaysia too now and stuff, although my mom REALLY REALLY wants to go to Taiwan next time… so I guess we’ll have to see how time and money works out, I’m not a money-tree ya know 😀 Ya, us guys are pretty stupid sometimes… we “put ourselves out there” TO be taken advantage of… haha…. but hey, I’m 甘心情愿 who else can I blame? XD

      She can be 主動 sometimes and she does surprize me once in a while 🙂 so it’s not like she ISN’T considerate of me at all (because she really is, whether we both like to admit it) and that is why I try not to heckle her, because it isn’t like she’s just stagnant all the time. I’m quite happy she’s been more 主動 than ever now and that even she’s starting to believe in “us”. She has to let that comfort his the top of the peak before she can ‘act openly now’ and after seeing her with her friends, I can tell I have to form that same “openness” and “enjoyment” between us before that can happen. I felt really cared-for when we were at Second Cup and I’m so glad I actually learned some Mandarin (and continue to do so, though I dare not speak it with them, LOL) to actually decipher what they were talking about, haha.

      Ai… dunno about how I feel about the whole making-stuff-at-home now… it’s starting to make me feel sad when I think about it – trying to avoid it now. Everyone is right in why she hasn’t given me an opportunity to invite me over and make something for me at home. The ‘excuse’ is only part of the problem, the real problem is OTHER than the excuse, why HASN’T she asked me over for food right? I don’t even have a problem PROVIDING the food if I have to, just that she hasn’t even offered. If bebe put as much power into coming up with reasons for everything, we’d be married by now 😆

      I realize it IS partially my fault as well for being overly catering or not letting her know when something is acceptable and when it’s not. At the same time, she’s also a grown woman, so I don’t want to have to ‘give her directions’ all the time… she should ought to know these things – but maybe you’re also right about it being a learning curve. I want to be able to “guide” her but also not “force” her into following my path. After all, she is smart enough to make her own decisions and also act accordingly. I’m not trying to “mold” her into my perfect girl, she IS my perfect girl… if I wanted her to change, I wouldn’t have bothered with her in the first place because she is totally not the type of girl I could have imagined before being with… but it’s amazing how love can make you totally see it in a different way. She wants to change me, but I don’t want to change her (as a person), only thing I want “different” from her is to have that feeling for me.

      I don’t explode unless she “pokes the bear too hard”… haha. As long as she tries to bring that gap between the “inequality” between her friends and me, then I’m ok with it. I mean it IS nice for me to know that she even returns back to town because I’m here and feels obligated to be here. The thing is, I’m not so much concerned about “where” she is… but rather, “What” she’s doing and “how often”.. I mean, even if she’s NOT in town and we spend say.. 2-3 days a week and her friends have her for the rest of the time, I’m totally cool with that… or even if she spends a fair number of hours with me. Obviously I’m NOT “her friends” – I am her boyfriend, so then I can’t be expecting 1:1 equality, since her friends also won’t see the girlfriend side of her, but at least let’s be reasonable about how much time in contrast we spend with each other.

      My weekdays are VERY bland… I go to work, go home, do errands, play games, sleep. I’d love it if I got a chance during the weekday to spend a LITTLE time with her and that I guess is the ONLY part where “distance” comes into play. It’d be nice if say… on my way home on a weeknight I could just drop by at her house, say hi, catch a few shows on the computer together and I go home. I’m not asking for a full-out date, just some “home” life together and because it’s just “company” for BOTH of us. She’s already at home over-sleeping, cramped up in her room and watching stuff, at least when I’m over, we can keep each other company while we do our own things. I don’t expect her to entertain me, I’d likely bring my laptop over and just do what I’d normally do, just at least there will be some social aspect to it.

      Yes, with my assholish luck, her period will come when she’s at her friend’s place on a WEEKDAY or something. It totally sucks and annoys me I miss it EVERY time >_> At least Easter is coming up… I really hope we can make the best of it together…

  2. Krystal Klear

    Hi there!

    Your girlfriend must be a very wonderful girl to have such a great guy treating her in such a way. I’m sure most women are ENVIOUS at how you spoil her and what a kind gentleman you are. I have not went back and read all your articles YET, but I just have to say on behalf of the many guy-loving women in the world, that you are one-of-a-kind and definitely deserve a girl like her! I wish you both all the best.

    Furthermore, I think many couples nowadays even post-marriage keep separate accounts. I’m not sure how I feel about it as my boyfriend and I after dating for 2 years both have our own accounts, not sure how that will transpire in the future whether we decide to merge finances. If you are comfortable in giving her an account and putting money into it, obviously she’s a very important person in your life. I do not see you as “trying to buy her out” – but in fact, it is a very considerate and admirable thing you are doing. Of course you didn’t define an amount, but whether it is a small or large amount, what you are doing is truly from your heart. I wouldn’t doubt that many people would see your actions as “crazy” though – as I would be sketchy on this in the same situation you were – debating whether it is a ‘proper’ idea to entrust money with her. Obviously if it gives her a sense of “connection” and feeling that you both are “sharing your life together” … then that’d be great. I just certainly hope she will not use you as a personal ATM or take advantage of your generosity without giving anything in return. Of course only the two people in the relationship know how they feel, so if you’ve felt comfortable enough to do something like that for her, then no doubt that you’ve gone under serious considerations of the risks you are taking!

    My boyfriend and I will often split the costs of the night, I do not expect him to front up all the money. From the sounds of it, you are quite well-off and likewise with my boyfriend, but either way, dating is a 2-person scenario so both need to be willing to make the costs. Perhaps when you are married and money is “coming out of the same account/pocket” it doesn’t matter – but right now, she is just as responsible to pay as you are, especially because she is the RECIPIENT of the many things she chooses to do – such as going to watch a movie. Heck, even if she doesn’t pay for YOU, then she should at least pay for her OWN portion. That is perhaps my more “North Americanized” mentality since you come from a very different background such as I. Honestly, I didn’t even THINK there were gentlemen like you left in this world who doesn’t only think about HIMSELF for everything. I’m sure you may consider yourself selfish, talking about how you want this or want that from your girlfriend, but those are all reasonable expectations. Likewise, to see you talking about how you actually think “for her” when it comes to her not having a job/using her family’s money and that you’d have no problems funding the dates just makes my jaw-drop and heart thump like a first-kiss. I thought all the chivalry and devotion in relationships went out the door in the 21 century.

    I love how despite all these problems you have with her, that you’re willing to stick around in the sake of love. Reading your stories makes me feel as if you could put it in a novel and be a great romantic thriller! I have to say, the way you make a girl just READING your posts makes us feel warm and fuzzy. Although you say you are not good looking, your personality would make any girl wet, no matter how attractive/unattractive you claim yourself to be.

    There are very few guys out there who couldn’t care less about having good conversations about menstruation with their girlfriends, so rather than your girlfriend being resistant to your questions/inquiries, she should be happy that she has a boyfriend who will LISTEN to her when she talks about it and take part in her health and well-being!

    – Krystal

    • Hi Krystal,

      Thank you for your well-thought reply! I certainly hope that bebe will also feel enthusiastic about my love of menstruation and her body. I know that her period will be coming soon, although not exactly when but it’d suck to have to miss it AGAIN. I was hoping to space out my dates with her, that way I’d get a chance to catch her on her period for once – it seems like every time she gets it she’s not with me. It’s not like I’d ask her to do anything differently or treat her so just because we go out on her period, but it’d be nice just to be able to experience it with her. I unfortunately get screwed by her period because it always happens mid-week when I don’t get a chance to see her.

      We had an opportunity this coming week, but she ended up choosing Monday so unless I’m super lucky, I’ll JUST miss it and by the next time I see her, it would be over, ARG! I’m not saying I need to plan every date around her period, but I’d just feel like I’ve “accomplished” a wish just by being able to spend a sweet day with her while she’s on… almost seems like just-by-coincidence, she’s never around me when she has her period. Bebe’s not a period-conscious girl, so I know it’s not like she purposely plans her period around me just so I’ll miss it, but it sucks having known her for almost 2 years and not being able to spend 1 out of 24 possible periods with her… what’s the LIKELIHOOD of that right? 😛 Either that or it’ll come next weekend… so I dunno, I just hope my luck works out 😆

      Heh, I don’t know if that many women are envious over bebe. If I was such a great guy, she should’ve fallen madly in love with me already XD Either way, I’m very grateful and happy that we’re both putting a lot of effort into making this relationship work… we both know that this relationship was simply MEANT to be given how we met and all the things we’ve gone through. We weren’t given such a divine chance just to throw it out the door and waste it just like that. I wish I had that much power to make a girl wet, haha, that is unfortunately not the case. I suppose I’m one of those guys that a girl has to know really well before they see that “attractive” side of me. There’s nothing great about me physically, all that IS great I consider to be inside, so I’m definitely not the type of guy you’d pick from a crowd. Nevertheless, I’ve known a few girls who have been physically attracted to me and I think they need some major vision correction 😀 and really, I’m not interested in making other girls wet as long as I can get my bebe to feel the same way, harhar!

      I’d be more than happy to listen to bebe talk about her period, if only she’d let me 😛 I doubt she’ll go into the same details right now as many of my girls would, but even if she were just to tease me in letting me know when she expects her period, I’d faint, HAHA. Just being able to share an evening with her in menstruating glory, that’d make me a happy man XD I’m such a simple person… lol.

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