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Fashion and Beauty

Another random-thoughts post today… well, not perhaps completely random since it was inspired by a conversation my friend and I had, but parts of it is! How many of us has ever had a significant other ask us, “Do I look fat in this?” and there never is a proper answer that doesn’t result in a punishment, lol. Yes yes, it’s very cliché, but, it leads into the thing I pondered today, about fashion and about our special-someone… male or female! (although males tend not to ask the “fat” question).

I ask of my readers to think or even comment… when in a relationship, do you have certain expectations of fashion for your significant other? Do you want your s/o dressed in a certain manner because he/she appears more attractive in that type of style? To be honest, I’ve never been “big” on the whole fashion thing… when I was in elementary school, sweatpants was my thing. Yes yes, I received quite a bit of laughs from peers, but whatever, I wrote them anyways… when I went to school, I had the mentality that I wasn’t there to become a fashion statement, I was there to be educated. By the time high school arrived, I switched over to the “cool thing” to wear, which were jeans. Then oddly enough, when post-secondary came around, going to school was no longer a fashion competition… some people were late/tired enough to walk into class in their PJ’s (and you can tell those who purposefully wear PJ’s as a fashion-statement versus those who seriously weren’t prepared). People didn’t make fun of one another because they were wearing the latest styles or fitting in with the trends… just having clothes on was good enough!

Since I began working, my clothing styles have changed considerably, moving away from the more “younger look” to the more “professional” look and my dresser definitely reflects that. Many of my t-shirts, jeans, shorts, etc. have all been stashed in farther-to-reach corners or in the “weekend” section of my closest. Although my workplace has extremely loose dress-codes (and enforcement, or lack thereof), I prefer to still follow by them and also because I feel I look much more presentable in business-casual. Knowing that my girlfriend prefers jeans and t-shirts, I remember going on a date once in a very casual clothing. Honestly, I didn’t like it… but hey, whatever makes her happy 😛

On one of our more recent dates, she casually mentioned that she really liked my business-casual style, because I appear to be more well-kept and I’d have to say it was quite a flattering comment and from then on, I dressed in the way she liked… a more professional look, even for casual dates. Obviously when girls say these things, it takes an idiot not to remember, lol. My only big gripe about going from work to her house is that generally I’m not smelling my best … after all, I just finished a day of work and the deodorant only takes you so far… lol and guys.. trying to cover up your smell of shit with cologne is not effective 😛 Although I’m not rancid because I’m not a labourer and tend not to have to break a sweat, but I sure as hell don’t smell like I just came out of the shower. She has never commented on my dress style much and it’s really nice of her. I know I don’t “dress the best”, don’t have the “best fashion sense” and I don’t have impeccable hygiene (just GOOD hygiene). I don’t have crap stuck between my teeth, my breath doesn’t reek, my pants aren’t ripped and my hair doesn’t appear to make me look I just came off the street (minus the dry-flakes from the hair growth formula I’m taking… I wish it didn’t shed like that).

Suffice to say, I also don’t have huge expectations that my girl would go “above and beyond” for me either. I can’t (nor would I) force her to wear “something sexy” – I simply maintain a standard that as long as she doesn’t look too much like a guy then we’re good – lol… that’s not a lot to ask for, right? I don’t want her to wear loose jeans or something like those “gangster” guys who have their ass-cracks revealed because their pants are so low and honestly, I wouldn’t want my girlfriend wearing extremely revealing things anyways. I’m afraid I’d have to rip too many guy’s eyes out for staring at her.

Here’s a conversation a friend and I had yesterday on this topic (thus the inspiration to write this) and here are some excerpts of it which will help stimulate your mind into thinking about this topic…

[Black text is my friend’s message… red text is mine]

hey wana ask u something
[…]
ummm
would you expect her to dress up , lets say when you take her out to join your friends?
she’s a jeans girl rite
she doesn’t really dress up now anyways, lol.
would u expect her to wear more make up(if she does?), and pretty herself more? like wear a cute skirt
nope, she doesn’t
she does wear stuff i like though
i have certain things i prefer she wears
like?
she does that
like?
well just certain t-shirts make her look better
LOL
and certain tops
that’s all
i asked her about wearing skirts before and she only has once
[…]
she said this might change in the future, but for now, she’s just a jeans and t-shirt girl
which is fine
[…]

lol
in a way, she does “pretty herself up” since she always smells good, looks nice and will choose clothing i like
but nothing extreme
just maybe “more than usual”
but most of the times when i see her, it is me coming from work
so i usually smell and don’t look my best
HAHAHA

umm
so you dont pus her to wear skirts or dress more often?
like on dates with you?
nope.
of course not
it’s her body
her choice of clothing

hmm
i’ve made mention of it, but she says no skirts probably
since she doesn’t HAVE any
makes it rather hard
i mean, yes, it’d be nice if she was girly-girl sometimes
but i can handle the way she is

lets say, you have an nformal gahtering with friends, YOUR friends, n u bring her along
*informal
i’d want them to see her the way she is
omg
u’re so damned nice
the only time I told her i’d expect her to dress up
is if the place we’re going to
enforces dress-code
like a nice restaurant

omg
i repeat, ur so damn nice
my ex wants to show me off to his friensds
but u two aren’t dating O.o
like: “see my gorgeous gf?”
no
in the past
im just analysing
my ex told me to dress up wheever we go for gatherings
but i said his frens dun dress up
its informal
we hang at each others(freind’s) houses
why shd i dress up?
he said he’d like to show me off
as tho im a freaking show girl, a crowd pleaser, entertainment girl?
i hate wearing skirts at gatherigns at houses because we all sit on the floor, n such
in a relaxed manner
not a formal, stiff meeting
so chances for me to chao kong is alot
so i avoid skirts
his friends wear simple old shirts – he expects me to dress uP?
Wtfart
well every guy wants to show his girl off
well
LOL
it’s a normal guy thing
haha
we like to compare EVERYTHING 😀

but u dont?
why do u think we measure our dicks?
u said u dun make her wear skirts
i’d show her off, but show her off with whatever she’s wearing
she’s beautiful in every way
so why does she need a skirt?
haha

exactly
😦
ohh
this is a great blog topic
gotta write this down
haha

ok, i know guys like to compare
but
arent you supposed to be happy with yr girl, hwv she wants to dress?
i mean, thats her
thats why ur with her in the first plce
i tried to discuss this issue to my ex
but he said “if u think im bad for asking you to look pretty, up to you”
i was sad back then
most people say im good-looking, in my jeans
wihtout a speck of make up
it seemed everyone except him saw my beauty
au naturel

Anyways, after some food-for-thought, how much do couples cater to each others expectations of dress-wear? Do we often expect too much, only to find disappointment? How much of a “right” do we have to expect our s/o to dress a certain way? Would you change your (or to what degree) of your fashion if your s/o asked you to?

Which then leads me to the next topic of beauty. Beauty is an extremely LARGE topic, so I’m going to choose one particular one today that I pondered while watching a Chinese show. Growing up in an Asian environment, there is a large emphasis (err.. maybe I should say this is quite common around-the-world now, but more so in Asia) on being thin. I don’t mean being “slender” or “toned” or “fit” – I mean thin as a stick. I was talking to Poh Ching today on how I crave to be thin again because I am too fat to which she replied she didn’t think I was fat. Perhaps being submersed in an extremely Asian family, my definition of “too fat” is any guy who weighs over 130lbs (which I would be categorized over that weight). Likewise, I have read many blogs on WordPress about Asian girls who have posted their “success” on becoming size 0 (zero). To me, a girl like that is stick-and-bones and although I dare not ask what my girlfriend’s size is (or risk getting a swift kick to the nuts), I’m not particular to girls who have barely any meat left on them. I’m not into necrophilia, so I have no interests towards a girls’ skeleton.

With that said, a female chef who was a regular guest in this show called “Beautiful Cooking” or 美女廚房 definitely caught my eye the very first time she showed up. Her name is Kit Mak (麥潔兒) and while she may not be voted Miss HK by any means, I found a lot of beauty within her, through her in-show personality (which I’ve seen her on shows other than Beautiful Cooking), listening to other actors/actresses speak about her and from her physical appearance. To Asian standards, a lady of this size is considered “large” and many Asian guys will likely “overlook” her due to her “large” body size.

Picture of Kit Mak (麥潔兒)

Perhaps in this picture it is not apparent because of the coverage by her clothing, but she falls under the “larger” side of typical Asian women, and it’s particularly noticeable on her face, arms and legs when revealed. Her beautiful smile along with her tomboyish voice will definitely changes your “at-a-glance” opinion of her. She’s not one of those girls that I drool over or pass-out if I were to meet her in person, but I’d definitely say that just because she’s large, doesn’t mean she can’t be beautiful.

Our society, particularly in Asia, our ideals of “big” and “small” are quite extreme. Many of my girl-friends in Hong Kong continually tell me that they want to “lose weight” when I already tell them that if they already look superb. Setting health-complications aside from being overly thin, I think it actually looks (what I personally call) “unhealthy” when I see a girl who are disgustingly thin (to my standards). I fear any type of action upon them would result in them being crushed. Heck, even my girlfriend who’s not stick-thin, but super duper cute n’ small – even I’m afraid of crushing her if I were to bear-hug her or something 😆 .. wouldn’t want to kill her now. With that said, Asian standards place a large percentage on what we perceive as beauty as the body size of a woman. As you can see with Kit, she embodies beauty without a size 0 body.

With my girls, I prefer to think of their body size in terms of healthiness and not so much using raw numbers as a measurement. My greater worries of a “large” girl would be health complications, much more so than her just being a few pounds heavier. Likewise, an extremely thin girl can also suffer the same problems and don’t kid yourself, someone on either end of the scale can be extremely fatal. Whether a person is underweight or overweight does not necessarily determine all their health statuses, but certainly, is a decent indicator.

In many places of the world in ancient times and even as recent at 1930’s and 1950’s, ‘big women’ were considered beautiful. How much our society has changed in defining beauty through an abnormally slim waistline! Personally, I find it appalling when I see girls with “assets” that are large, but with an extremely small body. I’m a believer of proportions and it really ruins the eyes when you see bodies that seem disproportionate to the rest of a person’s body and this holds true for guys and girls. A girl I knew in high school had these extremely large breasts… “large” is probably an understatement… but she was bent on keeping herself under 110lbs. Goodness… her breasts probably weigh half of that and yet she wanted the rest of her body to be the other half! As much as all the guys drooled over these huge honking tits, I wanted to throw up, because she had no body left after her breasts consumed it all.

I know every once in a while, I’ll tease my girlfriend (in a completely-joking capacity) about the foods she eats, the sedentary lifestyle she has and worry that she’s going to be “fatter than I am” – but in reality, she’s very beautiful. Although she may change in the future, body-wise, for better or worse, who she is inside doesn’t change. Do we as humans, often look for beauty in all the wrong places? Do we crave for the women who walk down the streets half-naked or shirt far down enough to see her nipples? Do girls crave for guys who have this nice ass (Poh Ching… LOL!) only to realize that’s where we take our shits from? There are so many forms of beauty and as humans, we are often blind to things until people point them out for us.

To wrap it up… I’m a big fan of “Bubzbeauty” (a.k.a Bubbi) or Lindy Tsang, a well-known online beauty expert… and since we’re on the topic of “beauty”… god damn. Heck, my girlfriend is beautiful too, but I’m sure she’d shoot me for posting her picture up, so let’s just go with someone who doesn’t mind having her pictures plastered over the internet 😛

Lindy Tsang (Bubbi) - Bubzbeauty

Realization that Languages are SEXY!

Before I begin, just thought one of my friends would benefit from this picture… (in a completely humouristic fashion)… no names mentioned!:

http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/carlin/2010/02/catholic-sex-ed

After I said that, I just realized that probably 3-4 of my girl-friends would benefit from this… LOL! Girls these days, psh 😛 I love Carlin & Ross stuff, they always post up the funniest shit. I’m not catholic and maybe that’s why I found it amusing more than insulting.

——————————————————–

Anyways, as I was walking into a Chinese restaurant (a real one, not chicken balls and wonton) today, I saw a couple of tables and one table particularly stood out because it was just a girl sitting there by herself. I thought it was rather weird, since eating (that particular type) of Chinese food is not meant for a “one person thing.” I proceeded to sit down and you know, being typical male obviously take a closer look. She was your average Asian girl, nothing special about her, so I looked away. She looked like a banana (for those who are not familiar, it is what we refer to Asians as being banana when they are “more white than yellow”) and spoke in perfect English to one of waitresses. I proceed to order my food since I was hungry and my friends were waiting on me to order as well.

About 10 minutes later, a couple of her friends arrived (also Asian) and began speaking to her in Mandarin. My Mandarin is extremely marginal, so I can do so much as to being able to understand a good portion of what they were saying, but I would not be able to reply (not that I would talk to them anyways) if the need arose. Oddly enough, I have not felt very attracted to listening to girls speak China-Mandarin, but love it when I hear Taiwanese-Mandarin (yes, there is a difference). Well actually, I lie, maybe there’s one girl I’ve heard speak Mandarin that was super-hot, but that’s besides the point – for the most part, I am not attracted to girls who speak China-Mandarin (which was what they were using). None of the friends that came, 1 male and 3 females particularly caught my eye either.

Now, here comes the kicker! This white girl comes walking in and then sits down with them and I thought, “Well, this is just kind of cool.” From the conversation, it turns out that they’re probably students of our nearby colleges or university and they began practicing their languages with each other. The white girl was talk-ing-rea-lly-sl-ow-ly-to-the-chi-nese-boy in English and the Asian girls were teaching the white girl how to order food, ask for napkins, words on the menu (I digress: The white girl did a fantastic job of pronunciation… either she’s into studying the Chinese language or she’s damn good at it!) and stuff like that. For the first time since I arrived at the restaurant, I have not heard the girl (one that was there when I first came in) speak anything except for English and Mandarin. As she called one of the other waitresses over (who happens to be her friend which I found out later), she starts speaking in Cantonese to her and immediately my head just snaps and was like “Wow, that’s so F’ing HOT!” lol.. (oh great, I’m starting to talk to Poh Ching now… ahh ddiiiuuu)

So then I began to take note of the fact that languages are SEXY. Now, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened, but as it happens more frequently, I begin to take-note of things like this. Case in point, I remember the first time I met my dream girl, it was pretty ecstatic. It had been almost 4 months ago and when I met her at her house for the first time, we spoke English. Even though I knew she was capable of speaking Cantonese, all the previous girls I’ve dated (even if they could speak Chinese, they didn’t… thus all the “banana” jokes) didn’t so I wasn’t sure how comfortable she’d be with that… so.. I resorted to speaking English with her. She was super-duper shy (HOLY cute should I mention?) when she answered the door (so F’ing adorable!!) and she let me in. We sat in her room, talked for a bit and then I was trying to “test the waters” to see if she was comfortable with speaking Cantonese (hey, it is a hot language, what can I say? LOL). I still remember the exact first Cantonese phrase she said to me, even to this day! My heart completely melted (not that she didn’t make me go crazy over her already :P) at that moment. If it wasn’t because I didn’t want to make an ass of myself, I would’ve had a nosebleed! (Translation: “Nosebleed” is a common description in the Chinese language indicating that a guy finds a girl extremely attractive)

I know that it is quite common for people to find accents attractive – in fact, I was telling Poh Ching about an Taiwanese-Australian girl I know and how amazingly cute her accent is when she speaks English (but not Mandarin… somehow it skews the sound – now my dream girl on the other hand, she is super sexy when she speaks Mandarin, lol). Of course she always has to be the opposite of me and hates Australian accent on guys, lol. To me, hearing a girl speak Cantonese even when she’s only has moderate-physical attractive qualities immediately becomes amplified beauty. Languages are beautiful and that’s why there are people who know many or strive to study/learn many different languages. To me, hearing my dream girl say those first words to me in her super-duper cute voice totally made her drop-dead gorgeous and my heart turned to mush! I wanted to grab her and squeeze her suuuppeer tight and tell her I want her forever and ever! It is amazing how powerful languages can be!

Maybe this is the case for many people that hearing someone speak a common language is something that causes a very positive reaction. However there are some languages I don’t understand but find that when spoken is like “music to my ears.” One of the girls I met at college one time (was not in a relationship with her) she would constantly speak Taiwanese-Mandarin to me and would just assume I could pick up on every word she said (which I can’t) and the odd time she’d drop a word of (broken) Cantonese in there to help me understand. Her speaking TW-M was attractive or perhaps it was also compounded by her voice. On the other hand, hearing China-Mandarin is a really “rough” language, it sounds shrilling like a girl is being hit and she’s screaming at the top of her lungs. It is worse because many China girls have raspy voices, so now you have a “rough language from a rough voice.” TW-M is very smooth and calm language, so when a girl speaks it, it is with grace and fluidity, making it sound very nice. I remember hearing my dream girl yell (even though she was yelling at her brother to go eat), I thought I was going to pass out at how beautiful her voice was when speaking Mandarin (ok, well she’s completely beautiful in every-way-shape-and-form so maybe that’s a biased comparison, haha). Alas, I live in an area that are not populated by a lot of Asians, so to be able to hear someone speak your language definitely has attractive qualities!3TEB9CX

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