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Societal Norms Clashes with Culture

I know Sophia’s going to have a lot of fun with this topic, but I’m thinking lots of people have been wedged between soceital norms and culture. I have a varied group of friends, from (true) white Canadians to those of my own background and I have often noticed distinct differences to opinions based around what our society determines to be normal. Living in Canada, I must say I’m very fortunate that most around us are very accepting and tolerant of differences and everyone sticks to their own without meddling in others affairs. However the other day as I was having a discussion amongst friends, everyone seemed to have a very different outlook on core things… particularly with living environment. Let me elaborate.

Being raised in a traditional Asian household, it has always been accepted that one’s children and family will always be accepted in the household, whether you are 18 or 80. Most of my white-Canadian friends have moved out while I am still at home. I always ask them, “What is home?” I have one friend in particular who I thought was joking to me when he told me that when he turned 18, he found a note from his father who essentially said, “You’re 18 now, get out of the house.” To me, that’s shocking because 18 is an age where most people are still struggling to find themselves, let alone move out. Certainly, there are many who survive leaving home at this age, especially those who seek independence, yet why?

Being in my mid-20’s, I think people look at me weird for still “living at home.” To be honest, I’m comfortable living here and see no necessity to move away. Of course when I have my own family one day, I’m sure I’ll leave ‘home’ – but I currently, there’s no legitimate reason why I should other than what society defines as the norm. Why must one leave home at a certain age – does it imply independence? In the past, I have pondered whether bebe looks down on me because I’m still at home and we’ve never really discussed that. To me, my whole life revolves around my family and I know many people use the word “weird” to describe people who sitll live at home with their parents. Of course my circumstance is a bit different as I live at home also because of my father who passed away a few years ago, leaving my mom on her own. I cannot fathom what sort of son would ditch his mother for the sake of being labeled as independent by society.

Don’t fool yourself, because I have a friend who asked me after my dad’s death whether I would move out. I asked why and I explained that it’s hard for my mom to life on her own without a source of income and no one to take care of her (since my mom had me, she has not been back into the workplace) as my Dad did all that – everything from finances to even doing the gardening. His response was that, “You should leave your mom behind, she’ll survive.” and to me, that was a pretty shitty thing to even think. Perhaps in his culture, as a white-Canadian, this is a totally acceptable thing, but to me, it is not. I know that it’s possible to fulfill a son’s obligations to his parents without living with them, but currently, I don’t have my own family yet, so of course I intend to take care of my mother in the same house until the situation presents itself where I can no longer do that. Had my father still been alive, moving out would of course be a potential route to take.

I think what people these days don’t realize is the cost of moving out. Everyone wants independance and of course if you have a family of your own, wife/husband/partner/kids, I can see it being a need, but to move out just because is foolish. Unless you have an amazing job, you will find trying to make ends meet is very hard. This is definitely a very culturally-based thing. Talking to an Indian coworker of mine, she says she has kids of various ages, from school-age to into their 30’s and many of them still live at home. She says, “I welcome and encourage my kids to live at home any time.” This is a very conflicting thing with Canadian societies expectations of kids being booted out of their homes. You will find many Asians live with their parents or even grandparents if they are lucky enough. Having a tight-knit family should not be discouraged. I suppose another big thing is that many people don’t get along with their parents. My retort to most people when they say I need to get out of the house is, “Just because YOU have a dysfunctional family and don’t get along with your parents, doesn’t mean I don’t!

I live at home because not only do I have many advantages of having meals prepared and ya… even my bed made, but also because it’s financially sound. Why move out when there only needs to be one set of bills to be paid? Why move out and cause financial strain on both my mother and I? Why move out when we could cook-for-two and save money? Don’t forget things like utilities are generally fixed costs and you’re simply doubling it by moving out (two different locations). I think most people seek that independence so much it blinds them to the financial aspects. By living at home, in a few year’s time, I will have enough money to fully purchase a quarter-million dollar house with no mortgage by living at home. Let’s just say for the sake of argument, bebe can contribute the same amount, we could be living in a half-million dollar home easily and not owe the bank a cent. For anyone who’s holding a mortgage, you will know that the few thousand dollars you save every month could be used for LOTS of things. By living at home, the first year I worked full-time I had already saved up enough money to put a down-payment for a decently priced house. Now you must think that I just freeload, but I actually pay a good portion of the household bills, especially with my mom having no income, and of course my own stuff like car insurance, life insurance, internet, gas, etc. Do people not realize the savings for both your parents AND you by staying at home?

After having this conversation, I did think back about whether bebe has ever looked down on me for still being at home. I know we’re both very family-oriented people and value the importance of it, but I’m not sure if she views me poorly as a result. I mean, I still wouldn’t move out just to please her, but I would certainly want her to know the reasons why I’m at home, but also respecting the fact that one day when we’re financially capable, to move out on our own. When people ask me why I’m still at home, I simply tell them I have “no need to leave home right now.” Hell, I don’t even want to leave home until the situation presents itself. It’s not a matter of me not being able to fend for myself or that my mom is incapable of surviving, but it’s about making sound and rational decisions. For the most part, I get all the freedom I have being at home, than moving out. I’d dare say I get even more freedom since there are many things I don’t need to do know that I would being on my own (ok, I do admit to a bit of spoiling, but I’m not USELESS at least).

Our culture definitely plays a large role on how you perceive others or even yourself when it comes to “staying at home.” In many cultures, it’s pretty much acceptable to stay at home until you get married. In other cultures, this is totally frowned upon and makes you appear not self-sufficient enough. Many will give you weird looks or already generate prejudice based on who’s roof you live under. I think it’s much worse to “get a place of your own” in a dead-beat basement of someone’s home than living comfortably under the same roof with your loving family. Do I have short term plans to move out? No. Will I ever leave home? Probably. I think there’ll definitely be evolution as to what the plan is as bebe and I progress, but I don’t want her to believe that I’m going to latch on to mommy’s leg and not go anywhere. I have a responsibility to take care of my mother and I don’t want bebe to see this as being a burden on me where she will have to deal with the consequences of it. When the time comes, I will need to balance both sides and yet allowing bebe and I to have a place of our own to raise our own family.

Listening to a variety of my coworkers discuss their kids staying at home and such, it really places an emphasis that those who are not “of colour” are more likely to have kids who have moved out (or been booted out), more than those of non-Canadian culture. I love being Asian, yet living in Canada, but there are times when I find them my cultural mentality differs from what Canadian society expects and demands – because we are judged on such things. I proudly live at home, because I can save money, contribute to the well-being of my family and also take care of my mother. Yes, I am “older than what I should be” to still be at home, but I have the freedom here as I would with my own place. Funny that the other day I was discussing how my mom would not like it if I had girls over in my room because I was testing the traditionalistic side of my mom… only to find out she’s more accepting of reality than I expected. I said, “Well mom, you wouldn’t like it if a girl stayed overnight anyways…” and she said, “Well, I wouldn’t be happy if it was just a girl you just met, but if you have been dating her for a while, I’d be ok with it.” Suffice to say, I was quite surprized that my mom would be, of all people, to be so open to an idea such as that. Of course it’s not that I’m thinking about doing something like that, but it was to see how much freedom I really have “at home.” This is a great house and household to be living under and I have what others seek when they move out – freedom and independence… I have all that here, plus more!

Tampons: Virginity and You – Will I Lose It?

Hiho, finally got a new topic to write about as I received some questions by email. The reader writes…

Hello,

I follow your blog with great interest.

[…]

My question is, will wearing tampons affect the virginity? Can only non virgins wear tampons, or virgins can too, or will it tear the hymen?

Thanks,
[Name]

This has always been a very large misunderstanding for those who have been brought up with a more conservative and perhaps in some cases, old-fashion thinking. I will have to say from growing up in a traditional Asian household, that I can relate to the way-of-thinking when it comes to trying to accept something “outside” of the way that “things always have been” and in the sense of menstruation, it is something that is not spoken out, simply dealt with and sanitary napkins/pads being the default and only choice of menstrual protection. Suffice to say, many mothers and perhaps fathers, believe that the usage of tampons will cause the loss of virginity in their daughter(s). Even if the misunderstanding between the link of tampons and virginity is not present, a sizable number of Asian women simply don’t even bother considering tampons.

Obviously, there are Asian girls out there who use tampons, my ex-ex being one of them, but certainly, out of all my Asian girlfriends I’ve had, only one did but yet out of my 2 white/Caucasian girlfriends, both did. Now of course given my lack of dating girls of many cultures, these aren’t very viable statistics, but I have dated more Asian girls than those of other cultures and that means that’s a 100% tampon-use ratio for the non-Asian girls and only 20% of Asian girls. Although my ex and god-sis did try them on my suggestion, I’m not going to consider them ‘regular’ users of tampons.

O.B Tampon Pro Comfort, Sponsored by Beijing 2008 Olympics

O.B Tampon Pro Comfort, Sponsored by Beijing 2008 Olympics

There are two things that play a great part when it comes to the mentality considering tampons, culture and religion. I’m obviously not going to even start a topic of whether I believe X culture is right or Y religion is true, it’s simply that one’s upbringing is likely to have a large influence on menstrual protection choices, if not in later years, but at least the first few years post-menarche.

To first understand the non-existent link between virginity and tampon usage, one must first understand virginity. Virginity can be a hotly debated topic and I can’t possibly cover all angles, so let’s just keep it simple. According to Encarta dictionary, virginity is defined as:

vir·gin[ vúrjin ]

somebody who has never had sexual intercourse

So where exactly do you draw the line on intercourse? Sex used to be a very defined thing, you put it in, pull it out – and it’s not so easy to draw the line anymore. Are you still a virgin if there is no penetration? What category does oral sex fall under? What about sexual relations between homosexual couples? Different cultures, religions and value-systems will have a different take on virginity but for now, let’s consider this the old fashion way, where we consider “intercourse” to only be the insertion of a penis into the vagina.

sex·u·al in·ter·course

an act carried out for reproduction or pleasure involving penetration, especially one in which a man inserts his erect penis into a woman’s vagina

So, the loss of virginity is related to sexual intercourse and not by using of a wad of cotton, a.k.a – a tampon! For many cultures and religions, virginity is a big thing – especially when it comes to the loss of virginity outside of a relationship or marriage. Nevertheless, there are also misconceptions about virginity tied to the hymen as an indicator of virginity. Let’s take a look at what is and the purpose of the hymen as defined by about.com:

What Is the Hymen?

The hymen is a piece of tissue that, during development, blocks some or all of the entrance to the vagina. It exists in many species, and scientists have no real understanding of its purpose in humans.

The hymen being a mere piece of tissue is subject to forces substantial enough to be torn or ripped through daily, non-sexual activities such as bike riding, horse riding, gymnastics, etc. and isn’t necessarily related to a virginal status of a woman. The hymen can certainly break through masturbation or self-exploration It is of course possible to tear the hymen when using tampons, however, as I noted above, virginity and whether the hymen is intact or not does not define whether a woman is or is not a virgin. Furthermore, it is also not impossible for slight penetration to occur (thus causing the loss of virginity) without breaking the hymen as the tissue itself is able to stretch without fully tearing it. The breaking of the hymen may or may not include some bleeding or pain and it happens as a result of inserting a tampon, it is unlikely to be noticed anyways.

It’s hard to say without statistics whether more women are likely to “open up” with tampons after she loses her virginity. I know girls who’ve started using tampons well before they lost their virginity and girls who started using tampons post-losing their virginity – however, I do not believe there is a correlation, only coincidence. There are of course girls who lose their virginity and never use tampons because they feel using pads works for them already. I suppose that after a girl loses her virginity, she feels more comfortable with having something inserted within her. The fear of tampon insertion is generally the biggest thing for young women, whether it is the messiness, embarrassment or the lack of understanding of her own genitalia. No doubt, for girls who have not had sex or masturbated, knowledge of that area tends to be very shallow and may contribute to a more shy-approach to using tampons.

Nevertheless, the bottom line answer is that tampons do not result in loss of virginity. Sexual intercourse results in the loss of virginity (however you want to define sex). Virgins and non-virgins can both use tampons. Tampons may or may not rip/tear the hymen. The hymen is not a indicator of virginity. Although this isn’t the theme of my blog or topic directly, but please remember to practice safe-sex to minimize/prevent transmission of STD’s, especially if you’re not in/with a monogamous partner/relationship and you’re not ready/want to take on the responsibilities of potentially conceiving a child or children.

Here’s a laugh… the amusement starts mostly at 1:20 but to get the entire laugh, you can watch the entire 2 minute-and-something clip… Just laughed at how true the dialogue was…

Weekend Updates/Thoughts and Paying for Pain

Hiho Again,

Just wanted to update you on all my happenings this weekend – or well, at least a day of it. Yesterday, I went out to the TCM doctor again except I was unsuspecting to what she had in store for me. I’m sure everyone already read about my moaning and bitching over the pain of having my back scraped by a shark fin-shaped tool causing immense and long-lasting pain to my back. This week, the pain was even worse because of two things. 1 was because she used needles in different spots on the front along with using the electroshock machine and also because she kneaded/pinched fat. I will elaborate later on for those who do not understand the concept.

Traditionally (or maybe I should say in my past history), the acupuncturist only did electroshock on my back and not on the front. Electroshock depending on the intensity of the jolt along with the placement of the needle ranges from comfortable, sensational, to slightly painful. I can usually endure the pain quite well on my back, maybe the nerve endings just don’t pick up as much. In the front, I tend to be more noticable of the pain, although the recent times it has only been upon the insertion of the needle. This time however, even after the insertion it was still painful for a while. Also, adding the electroshock meant I felt it even more than normal. She also used many different insertion points this time, to target getting rid of my stomach fat.

Electroacupuncture - can be heaven and can be hell

Electroacupuncture - can be heaven and can be hell

One would think that being poked at the meaty parts of your body would mean less pain – clearly the opposite. It hurt… a lot, however, with a bit of soreness and pain for about 30 seconds, I could grunt, hold my breath a bit (because breathing caused the needles to move up/down within the skin) until my body was accustomed to the pain. Quite a few needles were inserted in my stomach and surrounding areas, including near my sides – which was scary since my kidneys and liver are there. Even more scary than that was when she began to undo my belt at put one approx 2 inches away from my penis. I don’t particularly like anything/anyone going near there, except for a girl with all-but-the-best intentions LOL. I was really hesitant about the insertion there, but given I’m completely weakened, I could hardly do anything about it. After lying there for 20 minutes barely being able to breathe, the horror was over and she began to withdraw each needle. It was a sham – because the worst was NOT over… and had yet to begin.

She proceeded to “warm her hands up” and put some type of grease on her hands. She does this quite often, so I was no alarmed thinking it was the “ending massage”… well I guess I had it partially right – it was a massage alright – one that according to my mom, seemed to make me scream more than the women from the maternity ward. I had the procedure of “fat pinching” invoked on me. It is not pinching that you think that people use to “test” how much fat a person has, but literally, grabbing fat on your body, kneading it and pinching it as hard as possible. I have read many “western” medical documentation on how there is no such proof that such things work – but looking at many celebrities who have this performed as an assistive method to fat-reduction. I say assistive only because it’s not meant to replace healthy eating and exercise, but “helps in addition to” conventional methods. This is a well-known method done in places like China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan and other Asian nations. I assure you that given the recollection of my entire life, this has been the most painful thing done to me thus far. By the time she finished which was a mere minute at most, I was gasping for air – I seriously could not breathe because I was in so much pain. My eyes were blurry from tears and I was clenched over in a fetal position trying to endure the pain.

I assure you - it was painful

I assure you - it was painful

It took me about 3 minutes of rapid breathing until part of the pain subsided. As I got up, my mom had to hold me because she was so worried I was going to pass out from the pain. She looked equally pained, only because it’s a common expression in Chinese that for one’s parents to see their own child in pain, the hearts of one’s parents hurts even more. It’s amazing what celebrities go through just to keep their figures as they get this done every day until they have dissipated the fat. I do not look forward to my next visit if she’s doing this again. As of today, a full 24-hours since it happened, my sides are both in pain. I can only do shallow breathing as doing deep-breathes causes my stomach and sides to cramp up (well well, aren’t I starting to feel like more of a woman eh?) and this searing pain shoots up my body. Some of the punctures by the needles also hurt probably as a result of the pain from the already-sore-locations. Last night, I did not get very good rest nor was I able to roll over on my sides.

According to the doctor, the more fatty areas of our body is actually more suspectible to pain. I would had thought on my neck, where there is less meat would mean needle insertions would hurt more (or at least I’d feel more). I find that needle insertions, usually 3-4 don’t hurt on my neck at all. On the other hand, when she did it on my stomach and sides, it hurt like a bitch. She explained that a lot of “fat” is also a result of built-up toxins. A degree of fat is required for the body to function of course, but excess fat is considered “negative” fat which actually hurts more than natural-fat. All I can say is that out of all the things I’ve gone through since I started this regiment has been only “current-day pain” and has rarely carried over to the next day. This on the other hand, I have a feel I’ll be feeling it for the rest of the week. Damn, I hope bebe appreciates all the effort I go into getting that beautiful figure she wants from a guy 😆 Ok ok, fine.. I’m doing it for myself either… but mainly for her XD

The rest of the afternoon and evening, we celebrated my friend’s birthday and also coincidentally a “goodbye party” for a friend who’s leaving to San Francisco for his MBA. Although him and I aren’t particularly close (as in we’ll call each other to hang-out regularly), his presence will still be missed at gatherings and such. He also runs a charity which I help out with, so his leadership will be missed by the organization. We had 3 cakes there… and almost a 4th had we not notified the other attendees not to bring one. The party was a potluck and wasn’t as well-organized as usual… we had a lot of “repeat food” and such – but nevertheless, it was a fun party… the big fun was towards the end of the night where we played our very own “family feud”!

This picture will make sense once you read on... I wish I was born in Malaysia =\ - Stolen from Cherrie

This picture will make sense once you read on... I wish I was born in Malaysia =( Pic stolen from Cherrie =P Maybe I ought to start taking up soccer or something.... LOL! I suppose part of the prerequisite of attending university in Malaysia is to be pretty.... geezz.

By the time we finished, it was 11PM and we all called it a night. Before heading back home, I dropped by the T&T in Mississauga before it closed to pick up “late-night deals”. T&T is well-known for their deep discount to foods and perishable items towards closing hours. I have seen sushi platters up to 50% by the end of the night! Although I did not get any sushi, I picked up some Asian junk-food and such (tsk tsk, I know). At this hour, shoppers tend to be the university students or the teenagers who are still up and wandering the streets. I honestly think I may be going through one of two phases, 1) I’m transitioning to becoming a homosexual or, 2) I’m deeply-madly in love. I would vote the latter because I no longer find that same attraction to women as I once did – or rather, I only find attraction to a woman now. T&T at night is like a sea of hot Chinese girls which a year ago, I would’ve been thinking which ones I’d want in my bed tonight. 1, 2, 3.. 10?!! Give them all to me! Now.. I look at girls and while I can appreciate their beauty, nice smiles and curvy body, I cannot find myself to think, “I want to sleep with her tonight, she’s so awesome!” Yes, I am either nuts over bebe or I am turning gay – take your pick. I guess P.C is going to laugh at me now because she said that’s a sure sign of when you know you have no more question about your commitment and loyalty is when all of a sudden, every other girl/boy seems to have no effect on you anymore. When we left the store, my friend was all hyped up, “Hey, weren’t those girls great?!! Find any that you’d want to bang?” .. my answer was like, “Uhh.. no, not really.” and he just stopped walking in the middle of the parking lot. He was like, “WHAT?!!!” and just to not cause a scene, I just said, “Well, a few were ok, that’s all.” – I don’t think he believed me, but at least he started walking towards the car again. After dropping him off at his house,  I proceeded to head home. Given it was almost midnight, the traffic was quite heavy – especially given I live in a smaller city.

Sometime throughout the night, I thought how stupid it was for me to be “paying money to suffer pain” a la acupuncture/fat pinching and back-scraping. There is a Chinese saying that pretty much equates to, “give money to endure hardship” pretty much made me question my own stupidity, lol… if I’m paying money to lose weight, shouldn’t it be less painful and more convenient? 😀 lol… clearly not the case. Oh well… I mean, I have the right to decline going any more, but I figured I’d finish my 2-month treatment first. It’s undeniable that there are results, just expensive ones and quite painful. I’ll have to ask her to modify it again because I’m not sure how much I want to fat pinched anymore, because the intention is the “spread the fat around” so it’s more easily burnt off and reduces the “visibility” of it – but god… I can tolerate pain – just not like this weekly. I’ll leave you guys with a funny Facebook status update I’ve been meaning to post up for a week or so already but forgot… amusing, especially if you understand French (but the explanation is there too)! My friends always end up getting themselves into awkward situations like this…

"You're a virgin? I love virgins! In fact, I almost always wind up dating virgins. My dad is a virgin too." - LOL!

"You're a virgin? I love virgins! In fact, I almost always wind up dating virgins. My dad is a virgin too." - LOL!

Almost one month of the summer-break gone already… shiiiittt…

Does Your In-Game Habits Say Something About You?

I just thought of this really interesting topic and I’m no sure if a lot of other sites have covered it already – but this dawned upon me as I was playing some games a few weeks ago. Of course this isn’t the first time I’ve thought of it, but it is the first time I’m writing about it. For avid gamers, some may always pick particular “races”, “classes” or “alignment” to play because of particular strengths and weaknesses provided to the player. By far, I will say of every RPG game (single/multiplayer) I’ve played, I have always favoured using long-range characters such as ranger, hunter or shooter classes and erring on the side of stealth-based character attributes.

A couple months ago, when bebe and I were playing The Sims together, I found out she’s different with her approaches to gaming. Rather than it being a manifest of her, she likes to show her “creative” side when it comes to gaming. She prefers not to build her Sims and lifestyle as a replica of her and we debated whether we would actually use her name as her sim-name. Me on the other hand, when I play games like The Sims, I like to replicate my existing or future lifestyle/housing and although I let my creativity soar when it comes to furniture, house size and stuff, I play the characters very-much like my own mentality, attributes, likes/dislikes, occupation, etc.

Something like this made me wonder, do games bring out a subconscious part of us or is it simply what it is… a game?I must admit personally, my in-game gaming habits tend to be a pretty good representation of myself. I enjoy game series like Hitman and Splinter Cell, because they cater to us gamers who prefer stealth and tact over direct confrontation. I like the idea of popping down behind someone and slitting their throat versus running in a full room of baddies, guns a-blazing. Whether it be in game or in person, this “hidden” personality of mine shows through. I remember playing “tag” as a child, I’d much prefer hiding and sneaking around and tagging a person than running a-muck trying to catch whoever I could. I also avoid confrontation when the situation presents itself or use conversation as a method to my advantage (even if it results in violence in the end).

You may call stealth cowardice... I call it SMART. You're the one losing your neck, not ME.

You may call stealth cowardice... I call it SMART. You're the one losing your neck, not ME.

The very first fight I got in in my life was something I could not avoid. The other kid was hostile and aggressive towards me and escaping it using words was futile. However, what I could do was to incite him casually (because you don’t want to provoke someone directly) to throw the first punch. Suffice to say, I do not condone violence nor enjoy using it as a method of problem-resolution, but for some types of people, that is their preferred method. As he threw the first punch, I intercepted his arm and twisted it and hit him in the chest as retaliation. In a fight for legality reasons, it’s always good to allow someone to “throw the first punch” because then you become the victim to rightful defense. Of course the laws run deeper than that as I’ve spent time sitting in Coles reading the Canadian Criminal Code on Self Defense. Let’s just say I took him down… it was a nasty scene and essentially, because I was “defending” myself from danger, I did not get into major trouble by the teachers. The trick is also to “pretend you’re scared” and that “you’re attempting to leave the situation” and have witnesses (other kids) to prove it. I acted as if I didn’t want to be involved, that I was afraid, that way as the kid attacked me, I had the complete right to strike him back. Of course you’re only supposed to “use sufficient force to disable the assailant from doing further harm” … but I think I used a bit more power than that, LOL. So the moral of this story is that my in-game personality fits that of how I would play a game. Choose stealth and conversation over direct confrontation. 

Many games now, particularly RPG’s or ones that “require you to choose a path” often involves a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ choice… or perhaps in some games like Alpha Protocol, there is no “right” or “wrong” decisions… only a decision. Each choice you make will affect gameplay immediately or later on, but may be to your advantage at some point and disadvantage at others. These types of games in general do simulate “real life” unless it’s a very poorly chosen decision which leads to your death. Every day as humans we make countless decisions and these decisions may lead to immediate or future consequences – good or bad. When playing games, I often choose to walk a “good” or “positive” alignment. I will choose paths or a character-based on ‘good’ rather than ‘evil’. Playing games like Neverwinter Nights where your alignment affects how NPC (Non-Player Characters) view you and interact with you, I much prefer taking a “lawful” and “good” approach. In general, this is also how I prefer to lead my life, following a lawful and good approach – obviously that is not the case all the time, but I prefer to “play by the rules” and be a good person when I can.

The path of good and evil... which do YOU choose?

The path of good and evil... which do YOU choose?

However, then there are also less-than-glamorous scenarios like recently when I was playing The Saboteur, a game similar to Grand Theft Auto. You are given a large world to wander doing side-quests and fulfilling main-quests to advance the storyline. I can get just as frustrated in real-life as I can in a game, lol, if not more because you have to replay a scenario over-and-over again until you “pass” it. This had already been my 3rd attempt at having to escape the Nazis. I was almost out of their detection range, speeding away in a car with them tailing me when suddenly a civilian vehicle came out of no where, cut me off and I ended up slamming into them. I was so annoyed because now it means I needed to spend even more time getting the Nazis off my tail. However, that’s when my anger took over (and this scenario as scary as it may be, is a fairly good representation of me).  

I got out of my vehicle, which was obviously half blown-up after being machine-gunned by the Nazi chasers and hitting corners of the streets and NOW slamming into the civilian car. I walked over to the passenger side of the vehicle where I proceed to pull out a terror-machine gun (massive ass weapon) and shot the passenger through the window. I then walked over to the driver side, pulled the driver out on the ground and let him run away… momentarily that is, until I followed him slowly and planted 3 shots to the back of his head with a pistol. I was slightly satisified given these two idiots dented my car and while the Nazis had then caught up and started shooting at me, I got back in and made my escape. As evil as this may sound, it is rather indicative of my personality. When I get frustrated, I get even. There have been times my parents did not have the joy of sitting in my car when I was angry with another driver. I literally try to drive people off the road when they piss me off on the road. Call it road-rage or whatever you will, but hell, this scene in the game really shows the type of person I am!

When someone gets in the way of my goals...

When someone gets in the way of my goals...

 Do most players tend to game similar to their personalities? Do most choose a particular way of playing or particular characters as a result of their own “style” and personal habits? I’m not going to say that I never play something out-of-character, but most of the time I stick to my own classes, race, alignment and method-of-approach. When I beat a game using a certain combination, if the storyline or gameplay is different enough, I explore other ways of playing, but I will always “play myself” on the first run of the game. In fact, I often find it hard for me to “walk the path of evil” when making choices or decisions or rather, ones that contradict with who I am. I cannot recall the game, but there was one where I had to make the decision to drag another character to safety or leave them there to die. I would most certainly help, but given that this was a second run of the game, I decided to take the “bad” approach and resisting the temptation to ‘help’ the character was amazingly hard. Because it’s contrary to the person I am, watching the other character die (knowingly too) was tough. Yes, it is just a game – but even acting outside of myself within a game is something that makes the gears in my head turn. 

 If you’re a gamer or not, do you think that the actions you perform within a game reflect upon your own personality and real-life choices if that were you?

Fashion and Beauty

Another random-thoughts post today… well, not perhaps completely random since it was inspired by a conversation my friend and I had, but parts of it is! How many of us has ever had a significant other ask us, “Do I look fat in this?” and there never is a proper answer that doesn’t result in a punishment, lol. Yes yes, it’s very cliché, but, it leads into the thing I pondered today, about fashion and about our special-someone… male or female! (although males tend not to ask the “fat” question).

I ask of my readers to think or even comment… when in a relationship, do you have certain expectations of fashion for your significant other? Do you want your s/o dressed in a certain manner because he/she appears more attractive in that type of style? To be honest, I’ve never been “big” on the whole fashion thing… when I was in elementary school, sweatpants was my thing. Yes yes, I received quite a bit of laughs from peers, but whatever, I wrote them anyways… when I went to school, I had the mentality that I wasn’t there to become a fashion statement, I was there to be educated. By the time high school arrived, I switched over to the “cool thing” to wear, which were jeans. Then oddly enough, when post-secondary came around, going to school was no longer a fashion competition… some people were late/tired enough to walk into class in their PJ’s (and you can tell those who purposefully wear PJ’s as a fashion-statement versus those who seriously weren’t prepared). People didn’t make fun of one another because they were wearing the latest styles or fitting in with the trends… just having clothes on was good enough!

Since I began working, my clothing styles have changed considerably, moving away from the more “younger look” to the more “professional” look and my dresser definitely reflects that. Many of my t-shirts, jeans, shorts, etc. have all been stashed in farther-to-reach corners or in the “weekend” section of my closest. Although my workplace has extremely loose dress-codes (and enforcement, or lack thereof), I prefer to still follow by them and also because I feel I look much more presentable in business-casual. Knowing that my girlfriend prefers jeans and t-shirts, I remember going on a date once in a very casual clothing. Honestly, I didn’t like it… but hey, whatever makes her happy 😛

On one of our more recent dates, she casually mentioned that she really liked my business-casual style, because I appear to be more well-kept and I’d have to say it was quite a flattering comment and from then on, I dressed in the way she liked… a more professional look, even for casual dates. Obviously when girls say these things, it takes an idiot not to remember, lol. My only big gripe about going from work to her house is that generally I’m not smelling my best … after all, I just finished a day of work and the deodorant only takes you so far… lol and guys.. trying to cover up your smell of shit with cologne is not effective 😛 Although I’m not rancid because I’m not a labourer and tend not to have to break a sweat, but I sure as hell don’t smell like I just came out of the shower. She has never commented on my dress style much and it’s really nice of her. I know I don’t “dress the best”, don’t have the “best fashion sense” and I don’t have impeccable hygiene (just GOOD hygiene). I don’t have crap stuck between my teeth, my breath doesn’t reek, my pants aren’t ripped and my hair doesn’t appear to make me look I just came off the street (minus the dry-flakes from the hair growth formula I’m taking… I wish it didn’t shed like that).

Suffice to say, I also don’t have huge expectations that my girl would go “above and beyond” for me either. I can’t (nor would I) force her to wear “something sexy” – I simply maintain a standard that as long as she doesn’t look too much like a guy then we’re good – lol… that’s not a lot to ask for, right? I don’t want her to wear loose jeans or something like those “gangster” guys who have their ass-cracks revealed because their pants are so low and honestly, I wouldn’t want my girlfriend wearing extremely revealing things anyways. I’m afraid I’d have to rip too many guy’s eyes out for staring at her.

Here’s a conversation a friend and I had yesterday on this topic (thus the inspiration to write this) and here are some excerpts of it which will help stimulate your mind into thinking about this topic…

[Black text is my friend’s message… red text is mine]

hey wana ask u something
[…]
ummm
would you expect her to dress up , lets say when you take her out to join your friends?
she’s a jeans girl rite
she doesn’t really dress up now anyways, lol.
would u expect her to wear more make up(if she does?), and pretty herself more? like wear a cute skirt
nope, she doesn’t
she does wear stuff i like though
i have certain things i prefer she wears
like?
she does that
like?
well just certain t-shirts make her look better
LOL
and certain tops
that’s all
i asked her about wearing skirts before and she only has once
[…]
she said this might change in the future, but for now, she’s just a jeans and t-shirt girl
which is fine
[…]

lol
in a way, she does “pretty herself up” since she always smells good, looks nice and will choose clothing i like
but nothing extreme
just maybe “more than usual”
but most of the times when i see her, it is me coming from work
so i usually smell and don’t look my best
HAHAHA

umm
so you dont pus her to wear skirts or dress more often?
like on dates with you?
nope.
of course not
it’s her body
her choice of clothing

hmm
i’ve made mention of it, but she says no skirts probably
since she doesn’t HAVE any
makes it rather hard
i mean, yes, it’d be nice if she was girly-girl sometimes
but i can handle the way she is

lets say, you have an nformal gahtering with friends, YOUR friends, n u bring her along
*informal
i’d want them to see her the way she is
omg
u’re so damned nice
the only time I told her i’d expect her to dress up
is if the place we’re going to
enforces dress-code
like a nice restaurant

omg
i repeat, ur so damn nice
my ex wants to show me off to his friensds
but u two aren’t dating O.o
like: “see my gorgeous gf?”
no
in the past
im just analysing
my ex told me to dress up wheever we go for gatherings
but i said his frens dun dress up
its informal
we hang at each others(freind’s) houses
why shd i dress up?
he said he’d like to show me off
as tho im a freaking show girl, a crowd pleaser, entertainment girl?
i hate wearing skirts at gatherigns at houses because we all sit on the floor, n such
in a relaxed manner
not a formal, stiff meeting
so chances for me to chao kong is alot
so i avoid skirts
his friends wear simple old shirts – he expects me to dress uP?
Wtfart
well every guy wants to show his girl off
well
LOL
it’s a normal guy thing
haha
we like to compare EVERYTHING 😀

but u dont?
why do u think we measure our dicks?
u said u dun make her wear skirts
i’d show her off, but show her off with whatever she’s wearing
she’s beautiful in every way
so why does she need a skirt?
haha

exactly
😦
ohh
this is a great blog topic
gotta write this down
haha

ok, i know guys like to compare
but
arent you supposed to be happy with yr girl, hwv she wants to dress?
i mean, thats her
thats why ur with her in the first plce
i tried to discuss this issue to my ex
but he said “if u think im bad for asking you to look pretty, up to you”
i was sad back then
most people say im good-looking, in my jeans
wihtout a speck of make up
it seemed everyone except him saw my beauty
au naturel

Anyways, after some food-for-thought, how much do couples cater to each others expectations of dress-wear? Do we often expect too much, only to find disappointment? How much of a “right” do we have to expect our s/o to dress a certain way? Would you change your (or to what degree) of your fashion if your s/o asked you to?

Which then leads me to the next topic of beauty. Beauty is an extremely LARGE topic, so I’m going to choose one particular one today that I pondered while watching a Chinese show. Growing up in an Asian environment, there is a large emphasis (err.. maybe I should say this is quite common around-the-world now, but more so in Asia) on being thin. I don’t mean being “slender” or “toned” or “fit” – I mean thin as a stick. I was talking to Poh Ching today on how I crave to be thin again because I am too fat to which she replied she didn’t think I was fat. Perhaps being submersed in an extremely Asian family, my definition of “too fat” is any guy who weighs over 130lbs (which I would be categorized over that weight). Likewise, I have read many blogs on WordPress about Asian girls who have posted their “success” on becoming size 0 (zero). To me, a girl like that is stick-and-bones and although I dare not ask what my girlfriend’s size is (or risk getting a swift kick to the nuts), I’m not particular to girls who have barely any meat left on them. I’m not into necrophilia, so I have no interests towards a girls’ skeleton.

With that said, a female chef who was a regular guest in this show called “Beautiful Cooking” or 美女廚房 definitely caught my eye the very first time she showed up. Her name is Kit Mak (麥潔兒) and while she may not be voted Miss HK by any means, I found a lot of beauty within her, through her in-show personality (which I’ve seen her on shows other than Beautiful Cooking), listening to other actors/actresses speak about her and from her physical appearance. To Asian standards, a lady of this size is considered “large” and many Asian guys will likely “overlook” her due to her “large” body size.

Picture of Kit Mak (麥潔兒)

Perhaps in this picture it is not apparent because of the coverage by her clothing, but she falls under the “larger” side of typical Asian women, and it’s particularly noticeable on her face, arms and legs when revealed. Her beautiful smile along with her tomboyish voice will definitely changes your “at-a-glance” opinion of her. She’s not one of those girls that I drool over or pass-out if I were to meet her in person, but I’d definitely say that just because she’s large, doesn’t mean she can’t be beautiful.

Our society, particularly in Asia, our ideals of “big” and “small” are quite extreme. Many of my girl-friends in Hong Kong continually tell me that they want to “lose weight” when I already tell them that if they already look superb. Setting health-complications aside from being overly thin, I think it actually looks (what I personally call) “unhealthy” when I see a girl who are disgustingly thin (to my standards). I fear any type of action upon them would result in them being crushed. Heck, even my girlfriend who’s not stick-thin, but super duper cute n’ small – even I’m afraid of crushing her if I were to bear-hug her or something 😆 .. wouldn’t want to kill her now. With that said, Asian standards place a large percentage on what we perceive as beauty as the body size of a woman. As you can see with Kit, she embodies beauty without a size 0 body.

With my girls, I prefer to think of their body size in terms of healthiness and not so much using raw numbers as a measurement. My greater worries of a “large” girl would be health complications, much more so than her just being a few pounds heavier. Likewise, an extremely thin girl can also suffer the same problems and don’t kid yourself, someone on either end of the scale can be extremely fatal. Whether a person is underweight or overweight does not necessarily determine all their health statuses, but certainly, is a decent indicator.

In many places of the world in ancient times and even as recent at 1930’s and 1950’s, ‘big women’ were considered beautiful. How much our society has changed in defining beauty through an abnormally slim waistline! Personally, I find it appalling when I see girls with “assets” that are large, but with an extremely small body. I’m a believer of proportions and it really ruins the eyes when you see bodies that seem disproportionate to the rest of a person’s body and this holds true for guys and girls. A girl I knew in high school had these extremely large breasts… “large” is probably an understatement… but she was bent on keeping herself under 110lbs. Goodness… her breasts probably weigh half of that and yet she wanted the rest of her body to be the other half! As much as all the guys drooled over these huge honking tits, I wanted to throw up, because she had no body left after her breasts consumed it all.

I know every once in a while, I’ll tease my girlfriend (in a completely-joking capacity) about the foods she eats, the sedentary lifestyle she has and worry that she’s going to be “fatter than I am” – but in reality, she’s very beautiful. Although she may change in the future, body-wise, for better or worse, who she is inside doesn’t change. Do we as humans, often look for beauty in all the wrong places? Do we crave for the women who walk down the streets half-naked or shirt far down enough to see her nipples? Do girls crave for guys who have this nice ass (Poh Ching… LOL!) only to realize that’s where we take our shits from? There are so many forms of beauty and as humans, we are often blind to things until people point them out for us.

To wrap it up… I’m a big fan of “Bubzbeauty” (a.k.a Bubbi) or Lindy Tsang, a well-known online beauty expert… and since we’re on the topic of “beauty”… god damn. Heck, my girlfriend is beautiful too, but I’m sure she’d shoot me for posting her picture up, so let’s just go with someone who doesn’t mind having her pictures plastered over the internet 😛

Lindy Tsang (Bubbi) - Bubzbeauty

14 Differences Between Japanese Women & Chinese Women

I’m out today helping out at a party.. so don’t have time to write a full post.. but I did find something amusing as I was checking out my “usual sites” while on break at my laptop. This is strictly for humour purposes, so no need to moan, groan, bitch or cry about it 😛 This post does not define the way I view women but I did get a chuckle. The contents included within the quoted portions belong to another site as noted in the title section of the entry.

14 Differences Between Japanese Women & Chinese Women

61 commentsby Fauna on Saturday, May 8, 2010

Women: China vs. Japan.

This is not new but has recently spread on the Chinese internet again.

On China.com and cn.MSN.com:

Japanese women vs. Chinese women: A little mean, but makes some good points!

1.

Japanese women often teach their children to bravely fight the forces of evil, and even if they lose, it is still infinitely glorious, the highest honor.

Chinese women often teach their children that when they encounter the forces of evil they must be good at hiding/running away/avoiding. They say that God will punish them [the forces of evil].

2.

Japanese women believe Japan is the world’s greatest country.

Chinese women usually believe that the moon may be rounder abroad [“the grass is greener”].

3.

Japanese women usually believe marrying foreigners is a kind of disgrace.

Chinese women usually feel that marrying foreigners is a kind of infinite glory.

4.

Japanese women are normally lady-like, but dirty in bed.

Many Chinese women are lady-like in bed, but dirty out of bed.

5.

Most Japanese women abide by the rules of a woman, supporting her husband, raising her children, dutifully.

China is the world’s number one country for one-night stands and extramarital affairs.

6.

Japanese women are almost all very filial, seeing their mother-in-law as their own mother.

Most Chinese women are all too eager for their mother-in-law to quickly die.

7.

Japanese wives treat their husbands with encouragement and concern. Returning home late at night exhausted at the end of a day, the wife will say “you’ve had a tough day.”

Chinese wives treat their husbands with complaints and scolding. Returning home late at night exhausted at the end of a day, the wife will roar “where the hell did you go this time?”

8.

Most young Japanese girls will find a man who is around their age to marry, and make a life with him together.

Young Chinese girls always find a wealthy “old” man, and don’t mind even being his Nth mistress/wife.

9.

Japanese mothers teach their daughters to look after their husbands, and diligently be filial to her parents-in-law.

Chinese mothers teach their daughters that they must keep firm control of all the man’s assets.

10.

Japanese women can tolerate men without money [poor men], but definitely cannot tolerate cowardly and weak men.

Chinese women can tolerate cowardly and weak men, but definitely cannot tolerate men without money.

11.

Japanese women see manly men as the most charming men.

Chinese women see manly men as male chauvinists.

12.

Most Japanese women are very lenient towards men’s infidelity.

Most Chinese women are very lenient towards their own infidelity.

13.

Japanese women almost never say bad things about Japanese men in public or in the media.

Chinese women always loudly curse and mock Chinese men on various media.

14.

The first words of Japanese women on their wedding night is: “If I do not look after/service you well tonight, please be forgiving.”

The first words of Chinese women on their wedding night is: “Hurry and see how much money was received today.”

Comments from cn.MSN.com:

MR.lau:

Different countries have different cultures.

njmct:

There are good things and bad things. Chinese people just have more bad things.

Eugenie:

Japan has more virgins…

喜获:

Japan has AV [adult video] women, China does not, this is the root.

ohyeah0715:

Haha…I see it as just a joke = = Some definitely make some sense…though if women saw this they probably would be very unhappy…Some of it is different circumstances, some things result from different traditions and culture…society is the key, and actually women are innocent…

SIMPLE-KATE:

Many of them are not accurate, just ask those who have experience studying abroad in Japan, not a single one wants to marry Japanese women.

EllaZhang2010:

Seeing this makes me feel the lou zhu is Japanese. With the conditions being different in the two countries, there is nothing that is comparable. Using this post to put down a country is a bit too comical.

梨涡浅浅:

I bet the lou zhu was born in Japan. If not, then he must be sent by Japanese to stir up trouble with China.

安柒佑:

Just as the LZ said, what cannot be denied is that it does reflect some characteristics of Chinese female’s.
But Chinese people have always been an arrogant people, unwilling to listen to our own bad side,
nor willing to search for the problems on ourselves, but instead will search for the shortcomings of the other party and fight back…
LZ’s post can be very controversial, can be very explosive!

牛百万:

I think the “Chinese” and “Japanese” in the post should all be changed to “some”.

Taking a part as the whole will only hurt the majority of innocent people.

I trust that the two types of women in the post both appear in every country.

Everyone knows that China is a “large denominator” country, so, I am willing to say, China has more good women than any country in the world; At the same time, China’s also has the most bad women in the world. We must face ourselves.

This post is obviously being too extreme~

cqc4500:

May I ask those who approve of these sayings, have you guys ever met/known/interacted with Japanese women before?

梦落百花殺:

[I] only know that Japanese women are niubi in bed, the rest [I] don’t really know~~

A friend found a Japanese girlfriend, and he said that in less than 3 days, she had already said “I love you” and established their relationship. Then pretty much every night thereafter, the girl has “special requests”, truly has a big appetite…

Comments from China.com:

antisb:

Japanese AV female stars know to raise donations for Chinese earthquakes. Whereas China’s movie queen knows to exploit the earthquake to collect donations for herself and her own fame!
Japanese prostitutes don’t hide what they are, whereas China’s whores insist on their own dignity!

圣人不仁:

It basically speaks the truth, and speaking of just Southeast Asia, Chinese women are all ranked from the bottom.

再平广岛:

As someone who really hates Japanese people, in comparison, I too believe this is basically in accordance with teh truth. *Sweating wildly…

再平广岛:

Although, there’s something I forgot to say. With Japanese women being this good, this only increases my motivation to exterminate Japanese men.

天才笨笨猪:

Comrades must work hard, so we may seize/occupy Japan in the future, kill all Japanese men, and steal all the Japanese women.

杀回人生:

Had I known sooner I wouldn’t have gotten married!! ~Too late now!!~

最后红卫兵:

Do you guys know that those who make AV in Japan these days are basically Chinese women? I haven’t watched AV in a long time, so the ones you guys are watching are probably older ones…
And what more, they always have the Chinese perform the most obscene/dirty kind…

modi12:

While it is true that Chinese women have relatively more shortcomings, Japanese women are far from perfect. Take for example them waiting for you at the door when you return home, helping hold your bag/briefcase and saying you’ve had a tough day. This is just Japan’s basic etiquette, there’s no real meaning/sincerity. After marriage, Japanese women often just stay at home and no longer work, not independent like Chinese women, and what more, they believe that if they still have to go out and work after getting married, they will be looked down upon by others.

凤山道人:

Chinese women these days are seriously too dirty, too lousy, and too shameless!!!

小烦:

All a result of education/upbringing. China’s education/upbringing cannot even be called “failure”. Using “shameless” to describe would be more appropriate.
Actually, louzhu only criticizing Chinese women is very unfair. It is not as if Chinese men are any better.
In today’s Chinese society, the men are thieves, the women are whores, the old are hooligans, the young are bastards.

Comparison of Korean, Chinese, and Japanese girls' faces.

and now I conclude that perhaps I should be looking for a Japanese wife…. LOL!

(Source included within the article title and content belongs to all their respective owners)

Worrying Over The Uncontrollable

Today, I read an entry by one of my regular visitors, Cherrie on the topic of death.

In my mind, I always wonder why most people worry about things which they cannot control. Suffice to say, I’m not chastising her, I’m just thinking why humans have to have such an active mind, sometimes where emotions and logic disagree with each other. Let’s just say that you as are standing out on the street and see a missile dropping down on your spot. What can you do? Absolutely nothing. You can scream, you can tell other people, but within seconds, all that is useless. I am like that too, I worry about things I shouldn’t be. I worry about things out of my control.

Although I have changed a lot, I am still far from being one of those people who can “Using the sky as a blanket should it fall down.” This is a Chinese expression, used to describe people who have a really good ability to view every scenario in the best-possible way. I wish I could be like that, my grandfather and my father was like that. Whatever happened, they just shrugged and smile. You cannot believe how happy people like that live. Over the years, I certainly have done some self-improvement, learning that if things are uncontrollable, I should not worry about them. Whether I worry or not, it will not change the situation and at most, I am only damaging my own health and stability. I agree with Cherrie and it isn’t that I’m not afraid of dying, I am – but there’s nothing to change the course of life and death. Nevertheless, I have gone through panic phases before and I worry about death. 😥

It is slightly annoying I find that on one level, I am logical. I tell myself, “If I can do nothing to change the matter, I should not care.” – yet, I still do. I’m sure you’re all wondering why this suddenly came to light. Ever since I met my bebe, I worry about small things, things that may or may not be out of my control. Maybe I am extra sensitive when it comes to hurt, I’m attentive and want to be accessible to her at all times. I fret about small little things. When I don’t see her online for a few days, I worry. I cradle my phone and hope to see a text message or I want to send one out, but don’t want to annoy her. I look at my MSN frequently to see if she logs on. I check the news, to see if something has happened near her neighbourhood. I check my voicemails and answering machines to see if she has left me something. I peer at Facebook and see if there’s any sort of activity that I know she’s ok. In my mind, there’s 101 things that could happen to her. Whenever I don’t see her presence, I begin to worry. Indeed, I do not dispute that she “has a life” other than being online or talking to me, but all these worries float up when she’s away unexpectedly or is busy. 😐

My friend Amy, often brings up the point of whether it is better for guys to have a girlfriend or not (or in my case, someone I care about). Little things that we fret over, whether she is safe, healthy and sound. For several months, my bebe ignored me because she could not come to terms that someone could care about her so deeply and did not know what to say for me. When we began talking again, I found out she hurt herself and as she told me, I swear my heart skipped a beat. I started worrying, oh no, is she ok, what is wrong, is it a big problem, can I help, should I have been there for her? Is it my fault for not being available to her? How did she get to the hospital? Are there long-term effects? What have I done wrong? and there’s a lot of self-blaming and over-reaction to things like that. Most people would say, “Then why don’t you just contact her?” and truth be, I know she doesn’t want a guy clinging to her 24/7 and that she has obligations like school, clubs, friends, personal time and errands. Yet, how does a regular person, express care and affection, without going overboard and contacting someone like that? I want to send her text messages to see what she’s doing, yet I do not want to appear I’m prying. I want to know that she’s safe, but how do I do it without looking like I’m tracking her every move? How do I tell her I care, without sounding like I’m treating her like a baby? How do I communicate with her, without worrying that I’m disturbing her from studying, sleeping or an activity? How do I ask her what she’s up to, without making her feel like she has to report to me? … God, so many things that I want to do, feel hesitant, yet feel like I ought to do… how does a person keep their distance, yet stay close enough for her to feel it? ACK! -__-”

Yes, worrying about those you love and care about is nothing unusual, but certainly, it seems trivial to worry about something I had no control over. Logically, what happened has happened… she already hurt herself and I can’t change that – yet, I still worry. When it comes down to this, I think I remember my parents once telling me that as a parent, who has a son/daughter, you worry about them 24/7. When you are 70 and they are 50, you still worry about them. It is an everlasting commitment and bond. Every moment that my bebe isn’t in front of me, I think about her well-being, hoping that she is happy, safe, in good-company, healthy, etc. Even when I’m in front of her, I ask myself whether she is happy, enjoying herself and feels relaxed. Why is it that us humans (or maybe me…) are so stupid like this? So obsessed and overrun by emotions rather than logic? Or is it me, who do not think like a regular man and rather, think with my emotions like a woman? Men are supposed to tough, supposed to be uncaring, supposed to be unaffected by emotions – we are supposed to be rock-solid, void of feelings and think strictly through practicality and logic. 😕

Alas, tomorrow I am having my accountant-friend over help me with doing my taxes for my business. My personal taxes as usual have been done for a while since I like to keep on-top-of-it. I feel stressed out over it, although I know that he’ll take good care of me (in a completely non-gay way) and I don’t need to question his help. We’ll probably go out for an early dinner or late lunch once we finish up as thanks. I’m so happy to have friends of all fields and they come in handy, what friends are for… and they know they can rely on me when they have computer issues. I suppose once tomorrow is done, I will hopefully be stress-free until the next tax season! I’m just waiting to find out how much more money I have to fork over the the government… urg.

But anyways… I thought I’d leave this music video for you guys. 🙂 I lurv it… moreover, I lurv GEM, lol. Sorry, it’s in Cantonese, so it might be a bit dry for you if you don’t understand it 😛

I Pay, You Pay — Whatever

I was just thinking the other day how much “paying” for a meal or whatnot is a large issue for Chinese people. In Hong Kong, there have actually been reported fights breaking out as a result of two individuals who wanted to pay the bill. Sounds weird right, what normal person wouldn’t let another person pay for the bill? LOL. On that note though, I’m writing this entry because I know of a family that particularly irks me when it comes to paying for meals.

To really help you make sense of this post, when family-friends and us get together, our method is simple… either one of us takes care of the entire bill or we simply split it evenly between all the people. Obviously this depends on the number of people eating, the type of food we ate and if there are any occasions that warrant a single person/family paying. I should point out that I highly doubt any of us “keeps track” per se, when it comes to paying. We don’t calculate the number of times of who paid and how much, we just treat each other back-and-forth and don’t explicitly keep on a piece of paper all those statistics. If anything, we simply take it in-stride and guesstimate paying for each others meals. Sometimes they are more frequent of smaller amounts and sometimes less frequent with larger amounts. Either way, all of us treat each other like family and we don’t bother stressing over small details as to “who-owes-who-what.

There is this one particular family… consisting of mom, dad and son. They are part of our general family-friends group and although when it comes to other things, I don’t mind them, they are extremely frivolous when it comes to money expended on meals. Like are you kidding me? Their household income is NOT low and compared to many of us within the group, they are well-off, so to imagine their cheapness when it comes to a dollar-or-two of difference amuses and shocks us. I have become bitter over this when I eat with them, especially over an incident that occurred about a month ago.

We ate at a buffet and the buffet naturally charges a lower price for their son who is still considered the “children” price. The price difference is about $4 less. So when it comes to splitting the bill at the end, I did a simple mathematical calculation. I took the entire total, added tips and split it between everyone, like usual. No one said a word, then at the end, the father says their portion is “unusually expensive” compared to everyone else. I showed him the amount on the calculator, then he said, “But my sons price is cheaper…” and then the mom pipes up, “That’s outrageous, why are we paying more when his meal costs less?“… I wanted to fucking scream and tell them they’re retarded because we’ve always split the bill per person and when THEY get to take advantage, they say nothing… but now that they’re paying an extra dollar they notice? Are you fucking kidding me? Your son orders expensive drinks that EVERYONE ELSE pays for and you don’t complain, but complain about the extra portion of the $4 discount (that’s also split between everyone else, which means they’re only paying 75-cents more) that you didn’t get?

Don’t get me wrong, I could hardly care less that your son orders an expensive drink while everyone else gets cheaper or free (water) drinks, since you split it between that many people, everyone’s only paying an extra few cents, but seriously.. if you want to calculate it bit by bit, we’ll do that. What infuriates me is that a lot of the times when we go to other restaurants, one of the “aunts” in her fucking retarded wisdom doesn’t count the child. Hello, is he really a child anymore? He’s 13.. he’s going through puberty, he eats MORE food than my mom and I put together and so should my mom and I get a discount off the split? Should he pay MORE because he EATS so much more? Hey wait a second… how come when we get the bill and your child doesn’t get counted, you don’t say, “Hey, you guys forgot to count my child, he ate too so he should pay…“? Ya, tell me why that is when things are to your advantage, you don’t say anything but when you have to pay an extra 75-cents you moan like a fucking little kid who lost their candy?

So my resolve has been from now on to make sure that when eating with them, just THAT particular family unit, that I ensure EVERY portion YOUR child eats, every drink YOUR child orders, is calculated dead-on-the-dot. If everyone else orders no drinks and your son does, YOU will pay for HIS drink, not US. From now on, I will calculate the bill and not defer it to your idiotic sister who thinks we don’t notice when she doesn’t count your son. I am not stupid, I will not allow your sister to think she can slide it underneath me that in fact, I am not only paying for my mother and I’s meal, but that of your nephew. No, when he orders drinks, we will not pay his share, because you refuse to pay for ours. You want to play accountant? I can too, because interestingly enough, I happen to have been awarded a community-recognition of Accounting Excellence when I graduated high school and have enough knowledge about numbers to tell the different whether I am covering for YOUR liability (a.k.a your son).

To recap, when I eat with you:

  • I will not allow anyone else to divide the numbers, I will do it for you, on a neat little program I have on my iPhone
  • I will ensure that if your son orders something no one else does, you are fronting that portion up
  • I will be relentless and you will pay for every meal portion and drink up-to-the-cent
  • I will not treat you to a meal, because in reality, I owe you NOTHING
  • I am not retarded and I do know when you are taking advantage of us and for your face/sake, I am not saying anything outright
  • As with the above point, your sister is equally stupid thinking that I do not notice when I am covering a portion of your son
  • Your son is not a child, he eats more than most adults, therefore if anything, don’t try to order things at the end, pack it up as tomorrow’s lunch/dinner – you can pay separately for that
  • When we eat buffets, each person/family will have a separate bill, most buffets are quite capable of doing those splits – hey, do you think you’re ordering that $5 drink anymore now that you have to pay for it fully?
  • You don’t get the left overs, don’t try… if I have to, I will eat it all, barf it back out or shit it back out in its ORIGINAL form, but don’t think just because you over-order, we pay, that you get to take it home

Inherently, I am not a cheap person, especially when it comes to people I love, family and friends. I have closed my eyes and dropped $100-300 to cover for an entire luxury meal before. I have paid for a meal for 20 people before, it did not faze me and I was quite happy to do so. When I eat out with my white friends, even though I order less, we all split the bill evenly. I refuse to let girls pay, whether they are my god-sisters, girlfriend or an aunt, it is the right gentlemanly thing to do to front up the bill. I tip generously, even though I have never held a waitering job. My Dad has however and has expressed to me how hard these people work for their money and if they provided good service, they deserve it. When carpooling, I usually offer to take my car because I enjoy driving and I would incur that driving cost anyways to drive myself. Although these things do not necessarily fully represent the person I am, surely, you can believe I’m not the type to care about every penny. However, should you choose to do that with me, I will ensure that whatever your bill comes to and every morsel you ate or drink you drank, it will be your responsibility to cover.

Toilets, Prostitution… all in a post?

I love how Poh Ching always manages to merge multiple topics in a single post… heck, I’m even starting to do that because of her! 😕

Public toilets.

Ohai. Here I am. Before I go M.I.A again, let me just crap a bit more here.

This post will be on the PG-13 side so kids, if you are reading this – go no further. Like those kids will listen.

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Please click on this link to help you understand the following opinion.

The statistic is sad. SAD SAD SAD. Where’d all the good guys go? Are the male population going in the reverse direction of the evolutionary line? We are supposed to get more civilized, not give in to animalistic instincts like sex. Sexing-up random people isn’t going to sow anything. Men would say that their instinct to keep sexing multiple females is in the genes. It’s biological. It’s in men to pro-create lots of babies. So what? Do we have need for one man making lots of babies now? Do we have need to build armies? The world population is getting out of hand – less space for us to live, rising prices of land.

BUT we can’t control it – when the urge comes you gotta do something about it? Instead of banging some girl (or guy, if that’s to your liking) whom you do not know how clean she really is (click link here for more info =P), or how many disco sticks she’s danced with (EewwWw yuck! Sticking your personal lil brother where another person’s brother has been? EEEEWWWWW!!!), why not stick to one privy chamber which you know is clean, and yours only, yours truly? Or if you don’t have one, per T-700 (a.k.a The Terminator a.k.a the role Arnold Schwarzenegger played la lol):

“Talk to the hand”. (p.s. One step leads to another, needless to describe la kay don’t pretend donno!)


OK, another analogy: Do you prefer to take a crap in public toilets or at home? It’s troublesome to crap in public toilets because:

1. Some idiot peed all over the toilet seat.

2. Some idiot left his/her shoeprints on the seat.

3. Some idiot forgot to flush.

4. It freaking stinks to the high heavens.

5. How clean is “clean”?

6. You do not know about the previous user – did he have a contagious disease?

7. Is that a disgusting bug crawling stealthily under the seat?

8. OMG. Is that ……………… hair? Is that – OMG OMG…….. pubic hair?!?!!! What the HELL! GAWD *stunned speechless nothing to say and move out as quickly as possible without doing what you initially intended to do in the loo*

So, that’s my view on visiting prostitutes. Dirty lah.  Sorry, no offence intended to anyone. Maybe some are quite hygienic, I don’t know. Come on la, at least make it “long term”. Look at my idol, Madonna and her model toy-boy boyfriend. She can afford a troop of toy-boys but she prefers to keep just one, young, handsome boyfriend. Clean mar. You know he isn’t sticking it in any other privy chamber rented out belonging to someone else.

I totally LOL’ed at some of the post tags I had to put in this…

I dunno P.C…. you are the one who “left something red” on the counter for your brother to find, lol… not sure who’s the one dirty wor XD

International Women’s Day 2010

Since I doubt I can really write much on this topic myself, I will post up material related to this special day! Although it is a week long commemoration, today is the “official” day!

Cheers to all the strong women in the world! Happy IWD, please take the time to let the women around you, especially ones you love know how much you value and cherish them!

March 8, 2010

Strong Women. Strong Canada. Strong World.


In 1977, the United Nations General Assembly adopted a resolution calling on member states to proclaim a day for women’s rights and international peace. Following the United Nations’ lead, Canada chose March 8 as International Women’s Day.Each year at this time, Canadians celebrate progress toward equality for women and their full participation, reflect on the challenges and barriers that remain, and consider future steps to achieving equality for all women, in all aspects of their lives.Over time, International Women’s Day has grown into a week-long series of commemorative events and activities across the country. International Women’s Week 2010 begins on Sunday, March 7 and wraps up on Saturday, March 13.

We encourage all Canadians – women and men, girls and boys – to promote International Women’s Day / International Women’s Week. Better yet, why not organize your own IWD/IWW event in your community, organization, workplace or school?

THEME

March 8 is International Women’s Day (IWD), the highlight of International Women’s Week (IWW). Each year at this time, Canadians celebrate progress toward equality for women and their full participation, reflect on current challenges and consider future steps in achieving equality for all women, in all aspects of their lives.

International Women’s Week 2010 begins on Sunday, March 7, and wraps up on Saturday, March 13. The Government of Canada’s theme for 2010 is Strong Women. Strong Canada. Strong World.

This theme reflects the government’s action to encourage more women and girls to participate in leadership roles, thereby helping them thrive, reach their full potential, fulfill their dreams and build a more prosperous Canada.

For Canadians, equality means women and men sharing in the responsibilities and obligations, as well as in the opportunities and rewards, of life and work. In Canada, leadership is key across society – from the private sector to governments to the general public. Leadership is important, so that people of all origins, generations and backgrounds can participate fully in our country’s economic, social and democratic life, and ultimately, in improving the state of the world.

FACT SHEET

  • In 1977, the United Nations General Assembly adopted a resolution calling on member states to proclaim a day for women’s rights and international peace. Following the United Nations’ lead, Canada chose March 8 as International Women’s Day.
  • International Women’s Week 2010 takes place from Sunday, March 7, through to Saturday, March 13.
  • This year, the theme is Strong Women. Strong Canada. Strong World., reflecting the Government’s firm belief that increasing women’s participation, and access to leadership roles and opportunities will help women and girls reach their full potential and help build a more prosperous Canada.
  • Canadian women have made enormous strides. The current Government has the highest percentage of women in Cabinet in Canadian history. The House of Commons currently has 67 women.
  • Women are also increasing their participation in other aspects of Canadian life. Currently, women make up the majority of full-time students in most university faculties.
  • The labour force participation rate for working-age women (15-64 years) has risen from 68.2 per cent to 74.3 per cent over the past decade (1997-2008). In 2007, women made up 35 per cent of all self-employed individuals.
  • There has also been a long-term increase in the share of women who are working in managerial positions.  In 2007, 35% of those employed in managerial positions were women.

Excerpt Source: Government of Canada

With the theme of this blog in mind, I found a non-political theme created in the Late Soviet times, highlighting March 8th as a day of celebration of beauty and motherhood of women.

Symbolic of the beauty and motherhood of women

Together, men and women will bring the Earth together in harmony!

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Just found out one of my blogging-friends got her period today… A GREAT way to celebrate International Women’s Day being synchronized with the world, what a goddess right there! Congrats 😀

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater. Give her sperm, she will give you a baby. Give her a house, she will give you a home. Give her groceries, she will give you a meal. Give her a smile and she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit…

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