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Halloween & Birthday 2010

Ah yes Halloween, how many years ago I was excited for a day of running rampant on the street and collecting candy and treats for hours, completely unaware of the cold temperatures and potential danger that lurks behind unruly vehicles that don’t watch out for kids. Today, I sit cozy in my home distributing candy to cute little kids and smiling faces – to once reminiscence childhood and the carefree, no-responsibility life. I am not resentful, because all people will grow and phases change. Where we once were a baby, we shall become a kid. Once a kid, we shall become teen and slowly we move into adulthood where when we look back it makes us smile. Hopefully everyone has great memories of being young and certainly, I know people who wish nothing but to forget about their childhood horrors. A cute little girl, 2-3 if that came to get her candy with her mom. It was the cutest sight ever, mainly because it also made me think about how bebe and I would hold hands with our little child(ren) to go Trick or Treating 😆

I just saw a long-lost friend the other day at work, turns out he got married just a few months ago at 31. Gosh, I guess I shouldn’t be rushing quite yet since many people are choosing to marry at 30ish, especially for guys. I still have quite a few years to go before that, time for me to learn, time for me to mature and time for me to understand the responsibility of being a good boyfriend, husband and future father. I look at bebe, still carefree and void of many responsibilities for now, although I completely understand that for years she’s been taking care of her brothers, both younger and older – something that I greatly admire. I think and wonder whether by rushing her too much I am ripping this freedom away from her, just being graduated and still feeling out the world. At the same time, I cannot deny my own feelings for her and wanting to make our way towards a successful relationship. Of course, everything starts with the first step and although we’re not progressing at the speed I would wish, just having her around is already one solid footing to furthering our development. There are times when I have deep pangs in my heart whether she’ll still be the same girl when she returns, not because something there changes fundamentally who she is, but rather… 心散 (similarity to “distracted” in English, or -loss-of-focus). I mean there should be no guilt from feeling carefree after a long vacation but really, I wonder if she’ll feel the constant allure to go home and leave Canada for good. I’m fearful and I really am – there’s nothing I feel I need to lie about or pretend it doesn’t bug me. I’ve always been an upfront person, I say what I think.

For many, today’s significance are kids running throughout the neighbourhood, but to me, a big significance is that it’s my mom’s birthday. Years ago this day, my grandfather and grandmother gifted my life with a great mom. They brought her into this world and in turn, my father and mother brought me into this world, grateful is the only word that comes to mind. When I was young, it was hard for me to make birthdays for my parents really special. Over the past few years, being more financially stable and stuff, I’ve been able to set up some nice things for them. Sure, it’s always the thought that counts, but some things, you really need money to pull off. We went out for lunch with one of my mom’s best friends, then we headed to Niagara Falls Avalon Theatre for a show. The show was “Dancing Queen” – and a favourite of my mom after she went and saw a live-performance of Mamma Mia, so this was a similar performance of many ABBA hits. I got some tickets for free being a VIP at the casino (can you tell I go there a lot? LOL) and we got some nice seats, right up front, but not so close where your neck goes stiff. She loved it and she got up to sing/dance with everyone. I think everyone can attest to nothing being more glorious than seeing someone truly enjoy something. I yearn for the day that I can book tickets for bebe and myself to enjoy something like this, have dinner after then perhaps a walk along the fall – very romantic.

When we got home, the kids still weren’t on the street yet, but you could tell the atmosphere was slowly filling in. As 5:30 approached, you could hear the streets fill with laughter and knocks on the doors. The number of kids in our neighbourhood has shrunk significantly. Years ago, it was my friends and I on the streets running house to house. As we live in a more mature neighbourhood and fewer young-couples, it will not be until my friends and I begin having kids that this area will repopulate. As years pass, we hear about older neighbours passing away from old age and it’ll be a while before these houses are captured by new families or those with little children before the area flourishes with new life again.

I must digress though, back to the show we went and watched, I must say that I think it has reawaken my love for white, blond girls, haha. Gawd, those girls were damn fit, this amazing curvy, yet solid, flat-bellied body. Of course all of them being dancers, all had the “ideal weight/sculpture” Even the guy’s bodies made me jealous, nice abs and solid chest… although for some reason, I swear guys can never “fully” get rid of fat because you could still see that while they were amazingly in shape, they still had that typical “male love handles”. The girls were just wow, that same blond girl that’s been in 3-4 shows made me do a second-take on her. See, there’s something about white girls that Asian girls have problems holding up is the body structure. We’re not talking about breasts because there’s plenty of Asian girls with big boobs, but just the general curvatures, seems like Asian girls – NO MATTER HOW FIT – don’t seem to be able to replicate. Even that 80 year-old-guy next to me was commenting to his wife (which made me laugh) how “sexy” the blond girl was on stage, haha 😀 It has been so long since I’ve done a take-two on white girls, I’ve long-gone past that stage of appreciating white girls. Probably since post high-school, I’ve gone back to loving my Asian girls.

The show was very thrilling because it was engaging while providing moments where you can just lie back and dream. I’m pretty sure it’s obvious who I dream about in those romantic moments of the show where the male singer is singing passionately and lovingly to a girl and even through rejection he continues to push forth. To me, that reaffirms that I need to be more strong and put up with the adversities which relationships bring. It dawned upon me that although the little physical contact that bebe shy’s away from, I have a feeling that through the 2 times I touched her hand, one time that I’ve held her hands, if you lined up a bunch of girls, blind-folded me and asked me which hands were hers, I’d probably figure it out 😛 See, they always do these things at pre-wedding or wedding parties, where they see how well they know their own husband/wife. Although bebe and I are far from being a “physically involved” couple, I’m pretty confident that I could tell her apart from just any other girl, haha. Maybe someone will challenge me at our wedding one day XD Every person has tell-tale signs that give themselves off. I think I’d be able to hug out, hand-touch, voice-recognize and smell which girl is bebe. It’s not like I’ve ever (and if I did I’d probably get slapped) purposefully sniffed out bebe, but every girl has a very distinct scent that I’d be able to know whether it’s really her ^__^

So yep, in about 8 hours I have a morning meeting (urg), so I better get to sleep. Thanks for checking in, period-content to come soon! Still so many days before bebe’s back here in my arms, but I have my own holidays to look forward to and then survive another month afterward before her return! Every day gone is one day closer to the beginning of a nice new life for us, happily ever after 🙂

Societal Norms Clashes with Culture

I know Sophia’s going to have a lot of fun with this topic, but I’m thinking lots of people have been wedged between soceital norms and culture. I have a varied group of friends, from (true) white Canadians to those of my own background and I have often noticed distinct differences to opinions based around what our society determines to be normal. Living in Canada, I must say I’m very fortunate that most around us are very accepting and tolerant of differences and everyone sticks to their own without meddling in others affairs. However the other day as I was having a discussion amongst friends, everyone seemed to have a very different outlook on core things… particularly with living environment. Let me elaborate.

Being raised in a traditional Asian household, it has always been accepted that one’s children and family will always be accepted in the household, whether you are 18 or 80. Most of my white-Canadian friends have moved out while I am still at home. I always ask them, “What is home?” I have one friend in particular who I thought was joking to me when he told me that when he turned 18, he found a note from his father who essentially said, “You’re 18 now, get out of the house.” To me, that’s shocking because 18 is an age where most people are still struggling to find themselves, let alone move out. Certainly, there are many who survive leaving home at this age, especially those who seek independence, yet why?

Being in my mid-20’s, I think people look at me weird for still “living at home.” To be honest, I’m comfortable living here and see no necessity to move away. Of course when I have my own family one day, I’m sure I’ll leave ‘home’ – but I currently, there’s no legitimate reason why I should other than what society defines as the norm. Why must one leave home at a certain age – does it imply independence? In the past, I have pondered whether bebe looks down on me because I’m still at home and we’ve never really discussed that. To me, my whole life revolves around my family and I know many people use the word “weird” to describe people who sitll live at home with their parents. Of course my circumstance is a bit different as I live at home also because of my father who passed away a few years ago, leaving my mom on her own. I cannot fathom what sort of son would ditch his mother for the sake of being labeled as independent by society.

Don’t fool yourself, because I have a friend who asked me after my dad’s death whether I would move out. I asked why and I explained that it’s hard for my mom to life on her own without a source of income and no one to take care of her (since my mom had me, she has not been back into the workplace) as my Dad did all that – everything from finances to even doing the gardening. His response was that, “You should leave your mom behind, she’ll survive.” and to me, that was a pretty shitty thing to even think. Perhaps in his culture, as a white-Canadian, this is a totally acceptable thing, but to me, it is not. I know that it’s possible to fulfill a son’s obligations to his parents without living with them, but currently, I don’t have my own family yet, so of course I intend to take care of my mother in the same house until the situation presents itself where I can no longer do that. Had my father still been alive, moving out would of course be a potential route to take.

I think what people these days don’t realize is the cost of moving out. Everyone wants independance and of course if you have a family of your own, wife/husband/partner/kids, I can see it being a need, but to move out just because is foolish. Unless you have an amazing job, you will find trying to make ends meet is very hard. This is definitely a very culturally-based thing. Talking to an Indian coworker of mine, she says she has kids of various ages, from school-age to into their 30’s and many of them still live at home. She says, “I welcome and encourage my kids to live at home any time.” This is a very conflicting thing with Canadian societies expectations of kids being booted out of their homes. You will find many Asians live with their parents or even grandparents if they are lucky enough. Having a tight-knit family should not be discouraged. I suppose another big thing is that many people don’t get along with their parents. My retort to most people when they say I need to get out of the house is, “Just because YOU have a dysfunctional family and don’t get along with your parents, doesn’t mean I don’t!

I live at home because not only do I have many advantages of having meals prepared and ya… even my bed made, but also because it’s financially sound. Why move out when there only needs to be one set of bills to be paid? Why move out and cause financial strain on both my mother and I? Why move out when we could cook-for-two and save money? Don’t forget things like utilities are generally fixed costs and you’re simply doubling it by moving out (two different locations). I think most people seek that independence so much it blinds them to the financial aspects. By living at home, in a few year’s time, I will have enough money to fully purchase a quarter-million dollar house with no mortgage by living at home. Let’s just say for the sake of argument, bebe can contribute the same amount, we could be living in a half-million dollar home easily and not owe the bank a cent. For anyone who’s holding a mortgage, you will know that the few thousand dollars you save every month could be used for LOTS of things. By living at home, the first year I worked full-time I had already saved up enough money to put a down-payment for a decently priced house. Now you must think that I just freeload, but I actually pay a good portion of the household bills, especially with my mom having no income, and of course my own stuff like car insurance, life insurance, internet, gas, etc. Do people not realize the savings for both your parents AND you by staying at home?

After having this conversation, I did think back about whether bebe has ever looked down on me for still being at home. I know we’re both very family-oriented people and value the importance of it, but I’m not sure if she views me poorly as a result. I mean, I still wouldn’t move out just to please her, but I would certainly want her to know the reasons why I’m at home, but also respecting the fact that one day when we’re financially capable, to move out on our own. When people ask me why I’m still at home, I simply tell them I have “no need to leave home right now.” Hell, I don’t even want to leave home until the situation presents itself. It’s not a matter of me not being able to fend for myself or that my mom is incapable of surviving, but it’s about making sound and rational decisions. For the most part, I get all the freedom I have being at home, than moving out. I’d dare say I get even more freedom since there are many things I don’t need to do know that I would being on my own (ok, I do admit to a bit of spoiling, but I’m not USELESS at least).

Our culture definitely plays a large role on how you perceive others or even yourself when it comes to “staying at home.” In many cultures, it’s pretty much acceptable to stay at home until you get married. In other cultures, this is totally frowned upon and makes you appear not self-sufficient enough. Many will give you weird looks or already generate prejudice based on who’s roof you live under. I think it’s much worse to “get a place of your own” in a dead-beat basement of someone’s home than living comfortably under the same roof with your loving family. Do I have short term plans to move out? No. Will I ever leave home? Probably. I think there’ll definitely be evolution as to what the plan is as bebe and I progress, but I don’t want her to believe that I’m going to latch on to mommy’s leg and not go anywhere. I have a responsibility to take care of my mother and I don’t want bebe to see this as being a burden on me where she will have to deal with the consequences of it. When the time comes, I will need to balance both sides and yet allowing bebe and I to have a place of our own to raise our own family.

Listening to a variety of my coworkers discuss their kids staying at home and such, it really places an emphasis that those who are not “of colour” are more likely to have kids who have moved out (or been booted out), more than those of non-Canadian culture. I love being Asian, yet living in Canada, but there are times when I find them my cultural mentality differs from what Canadian society expects and demands – because we are judged on such things. I proudly live at home, because I can save money, contribute to the well-being of my family and also take care of my mother. Yes, I am “older than what I should be” to still be at home, but I have the freedom here as I would with my own place. Funny that the other day I was discussing how my mom would not like it if I had girls over in my room because I was testing the traditionalistic side of my mom… only to find out she’s more accepting of reality than I expected. I said, “Well mom, you wouldn’t like it if a girl stayed overnight anyways…” and she said, “Well, I wouldn’t be happy if it was just a girl you just met, but if you have been dating her for a while, I’d be ok with it.” Suffice to say, I was quite surprized that my mom would be, of all people, to be so open to an idea such as that. Of course it’s not that I’m thinking about doing something like that, but it was to see how much freedom I really have “at home.” This is a great house and household to be living under and I have what others seek when they move out – freedom and independence… I have all that here, plus more!

Morning Revelations

This morning I woke up to a stark revelation for some reason. I had a good nights sleep – or well rather I should say, a decent sleep comforted by knowing bebe has all the intentions of returning to Canada after her vacation. Nevertheless, it hurts me greatly that she doesn’t want to have a lunch/dinner with me because she’d feel it’d be too awkward right now. Sigh is right, but as you can tell from reading my blog, my life is pretty shitty. I’m pretty sure some homeless bum on the street probably has a better love-life than I do. Ok so enough emo for a bit, I just wanted to say that I had a spark of life-eurpohria when I woke up today.

As the clock struck 8:30AM and my alarm went off, I rolled awake and all of a sudden I did feel lucky. I woke up this morning, alive. I opened my eyes and I could see (a bit blurry though of my poor vision, lol). I asked my fingers and toes to move and they did without hesitation. I breathed in air and didn’t choke on it. I don’t hear bombs falling next to my house. I feel energized and healthy – what more can I ask for at this time? I got up and looked up my window, a beautiful backyard, squirrels running and birds chirping. Yes, I am unhappy because I won’t see bebe for over half a year and she won’t even let me do a lunch/dinner with her – but still, life seems so grand albiet all the problems. I have something that many people do not, a healthy body, a restful sleep, money in my wallet and food/shelter. I know everyone who has these luxuries wake up everyday and realizes yet, we rarely show appreciation for it, but rather, we bitch and moan at these shortcomings of life.

Over the past few days I have been less-than-happy and my mood has been pretty sour with people. I’ve been doing a lot of gaming just to keep my mind off the situation and all and I’ll probably continue to immerse my life in doing senseless and objective-less things until she comes back. Any time I sit down and my mind is calm, I think about her. I sit at my desk staring at her picture and my mind wanders off into our future of bliss together. I pick up my phone and look at that beautiful smile of hers on my wallpaper, I open my wallet to see her picture thinking that I can one day share my credit cards and bank account with her, and I fall asleep with her picture sitting on my desk as she watches over me while I snooze and dream of her… god, how can a girl be so cruel to me yet I’m totally crazy over her?

I tell myself 6 months is a lot of time, yet really, not a lot of time. On one hand, when I go back to Hong Kong this year, I don’t have to worry about leaving her behind in Canada. I can perhaps have my last year of being single and being able to fool around with girls while I’m there (AHERM, not sexually, just playfully) and sweet-talk them without feeling guilty. She has half a year to think about her future, what she wants and truly desires from life. I have half a year to be a new and better person. If I lose 2 pounds every month, I will be 12lbs lighter by the time she returns. She will return to Canada fresh from her trip, glowing and vibrant just as I saw her for the very first time in her glory. So much can be accomplished in 6 months that I realized I should not waste this opportunity or see it as hell-on-earth, but a chance for rediscovery and yearn.

Instead of wallowing in my own shit, I have decided to enjoy every moment of these 6 months and although she is not next to me, I should cherish life as it is. My mom always tells me, single life is when I should enjoy the freedom and flexibility. I don’t have to worry about obligations with my girlfriend and planning around each others life. I do not see relationships that way, but obviously there is a degree of obligation to each other and naturally so. I remember at one time I used to rush my life, same with my ex’s, I’d look forward to something so much that when we got to that point in time, things were not as I imagined. Likewise, I want to use these 6 months to prove to her, I am the guy she wants – I am the guy who can complete her life. I don’t want to waste away and rush 6 months waiting for her return, but rather, use these 6 months constructively as if they were my last days on earth. I think as we get older, we realize how every minute counts. When we’re young, we’re invincible and time is not against us. As we get older, we realize that the smaller and finer things in life is what truly makes us happy. Money does not make me happy. Bebe makes me happy – money just acts as a way for us to create moments of happiness for us and memories of eating together, doing an activity together or playing games together – but money is not the end-all-be-all.

I’m excited for 6 months from now, but I’m also exciting about my upcoming vacation. Every little thing will help me make my way through the half a year without her, but I think, if I really do get to spend the rest of my life with her, should she not deserve time with her family/friends and since I will have her for years to come? I am a bit greedy ya and a bit selfish, but love is like that – sometimes what you want is undeniable and even when you recognize it as a flaw, it seems so right. So I’m resolved to making the best of these 6 months and not rushing through it just to get to an end-point. The only thing I’m looking forward to is when she falls into my arms and looks up so I can stare down at her dreamy eyes. Haha, I’m such a believer and a hopeless romantic – hai!

Nevertheless, I should probably get back to work after this quick update. I got a request from one of my readers about a topic I should write on, so time for me to start brainstorming on this! Toodles for now.

Post-Pregnancy Information for Men

Hi Again,

Time again for another round of period-related information… or maybe rather, it’s not exactly menstruation, but you may call it a “related-topic.” Today’s topic is on post-pregnancy. This is probably one of the topics that I do not have a large knowledge-base on, however, I always try to do research before making a post, so I hope this information will be accurate and informative. As usual, if there are any mistakes or considerations you would like me to make for this post, please let me know!

After child-birth, it is especially important for men to become involved in your partner’s health. After all, pregnancy is a very body-intensive process and therefore, you should definitely be a man and spoil your girl as if there’s no tomorrow. After all, the creation of this baby should be a testament to your loving relationship and your child is a production of your commitment to each other for life. Holy, do I sound like an old fart with an old mentality or what?! Of course for us flow-lovers, what joy is there to hope that your partner’s period returns soon as we’ve been missing the fun of it for 9 months already! (Although I doubt your partner misses it, lol) – Following pregnancy, resuming regular periods are a mystery for every woman.

It’s important for men to understand that after a normal delivery of a child, your partner will go through post-natal bleeding (or discharge) known as Lochia. Lochia generally lasts for 3 to 6 weeks and contains mucus, blood and placental tissue. There are 3 stages of lochia, each respective stage with a corresponding medical-name. Following 3 to 5 days after childbirth, your partner will go through Lochia rubra (cruenta) typically red to brownish-red due to the large amount of blood being expelled (expect heavy-flow) and contains a “fleshy odour.” After lochia rubra has taken place and up to approximately the 10th day post-delivery, she will undergo Lochia serosa where thinning of lochia occurs and where it usually becomes brownish or pink and is lochia flow is lessened compared to before. Finally for the remainder of discharge turns to a whitish or yellow-white colour lasting anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 weeks post-delivery referred to as Lochia alba (purulenta).

During this time, it is advisable to use maternity pads to deal with lochia as post-natal bleeding is generally a lot more than your average menstrual period. The first 6 to 12 hours after delivery is generally when most women expect the heaviest lochia discharge but it’s hard to say how often a woman will need to change her pad as the lochia flow is change based on the “phase” it is at, physical movement/position and bodily changes. At first, most women should expect to change their pad at least once every 1-2 hours and later, every 3-4 hours as lochia lessens – similar to managing ‘light’ and ‘heavy’ flow days of her regular period. In general, maternity pads are longer, softer, thicker and thus, more absorbent than the common maxi pad. Most maxi pads will not stand up well against lochia flow, therefore it is suggested that you purchase (or expect to purchase) 2-3 packs of “12’s” which should last for the duration of the heavier lochia discharge days.

In general, lochia should have the same odour as regular menstrual flow. If there is a foul or offensive smell from the lochia, the best practice would be to contact your medical professional as it may indicate a vaginal contamination. This contamination by organisms (thus the smell) may result in lochioschesis (spelled lochiostasis by some) which is the retention of lochia that should normally be expelled from the body.

Picture of a maternity pad

For convenience, you may also want to buy disposable panties for the first 2 weeks post-pregnancy as leaks may occur frequently and certainly you would not want to stain both of your favourite panties! Using well-fitting underwear is important as maternity pads require a large area on the crotch to support it. It is horribly uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear small, tight panties while harbouring a gigantic pad underneath! This is especially important if your partner has required stitches or undergone bruising to use comfortable-fitting underwear. By the end of the first and second week, it is likely your partner will be able to return using common maxi pads so maternity pads are no longer required.

As you may have noticed (sorry to the guys n’ girls who love them :|) that I have made no mention of tampons for lochia. Most medical practiontioners recommend that women do not use tampons while lochia is still present or flowing. As I’ve mentioned over and over again, the female anatomy is a beautiful and wonderful thing (much more exciting than us guy’s, har har). After pregnancy, the female body goes into a state of of involution where the uterus attempts to return to its pre-pregnancy size and condition. This process is to ensure that (under normal circumstances) allow pregnancy to occur again and thus an intricate process occurs which results in the above mentioned, lochia. During the first 6-8 weeks after delivery, consider the uterus as a recovering wound and therefore using tampons may introduce foreign bacteria into the reproductive system, heightening the risk of infection. It is suggested that resuming tampon use not be done until a postnatal check-up is performed and receiving the OK from your medical practitioner – after all, they are the experts and will know whether your body is prepared to have a tampon inserted.

It is normal for your partner to not have irregular or absent menstrual periods for a while after pregnancy. Other than your partner’s body to return regular menstrual activities, carrying out breastfeeding may interrupt the menstrual-cycle to return to normal. Breastfeeding may interfere with the ovulation process, thereby causing periods to be irregular or completely missing. Even for women who resume their normal menstrual cycle will experience more unusual period patterns which is pretty typical and there should be an expectation of heavier flow, more pain/discomfort and more lethargic than usual. Now’s the time to show some love to your woman who have spent 9 months bearing your beautiful child (or children)!!!

As a general guideline, your partner should expect to resume her regular menstrual-cycle within 9 months post-delivery. Many women do not go through regular menstruation until they cease to breastfeed. Apparently this is your body’s attempt to disallow conception of another child while your just-born child is still in his/her infancy – however, this is not to say that this is the case for ALL women. In fact, I must make a note that it does not mean your partner cannot get pregnant soon post-delivery! A lot of people make the assumption that if their partner does not show signs of menstruation that equates to a period (haha, what a great pun) of infertility. Oddly enough, your partner may actually be even more fertile than when she becomes “regular” again. You and your partner should both be aware that unprotected sex may lead to another pregnancy (if that’s not your plan). Necessary precautions should be taken if pregnancy is not your intent and the use of a condom with spermicide is recommended. Birth control or other hormonal-altering drug should not be used at this time, unless specifically authorized by a health professional. On that note, my Dad and his younger brother is only apart by 9 months and few days – so it’s quite possible to get pregnancy VERY SOON after delivery!

Here are some cases where you should contact your medical practitioner or emergency assistance immediately if your partner experiences:

  • lochia has an unpleasant smell
  • fever and/or chills
  • bleeding stays heavy and bright red after the first week
  • feel faint or dizzy
  • heartbeat starts to race or become irregular
  • soaking through a pad more than once per hour
  • large clots (> 28mm)
  • tummy feels tender low down on one or both sides

So there you guys go, hopefully this will give you some menstrual facts post-pregnancy! It’s such an exciting time so enjoy it. Think about how great it is to see your partner have to put on a pad or tampon again 😛 Hrm… maybe I’m having that flow-loving side in me kick in again! If you’re reading this for your partner, then I want to congratulate you on the new life you’ve brought to this world! I’m sure he/she really appreciates it 🙂

Learning About My Own Body Through Acupuncture

Waking up this morning was dreadful in a way, knowing I had to go to acupuncture agian, lol. Yes yes, why bitch about something I chose to do, but the reality is sometimes you need to do things you ought to do even if it’s not exactly what you want. My acupuncture treatment and body-cleaner has been going well and results are no-less-than astonishing. The TCM doctor told me that after 3 days of taking her herbs, my hair strands will have had time to strength and already have a noticeably less fall-out rate. By the morning of day 4 of my treatment, looking at my pillow I already noticed! Isn’t that crazy? I suppose although acupuncture wasn’t an “experience of a lifetime” for me, it sure as hell shows results when paired with herbal concoctions.

I have been accusomted to TCM practices since I was young, so the smell and bitterness does not bother me at all. If there are things that I see results, I’m immediately given the motivation to follow-through. That’s my problem, I’m one of those people who make and expect quick decisions/results. Why do many of my work-out plans fail over? Because I don’t see results. Yes, this is foolish indeed, but sometimes by seeing results, that is where the motivation comes from. Likewise, this week, other than shitting myself crazy, I feel great, so I have the willpower to continue enduring the smelly drinks and needles jabbed in me.

Through recommendation of my TCM Doctor (henceforth denoted as TCMDR) I had my hair cut short so that way she could visibly see where I have less hair to figure out where the problem lies. Speaking of haircut, I woke up 2 hours early just to get out to Mississauga in time to go to this new stylist I’ve never been to. It’s in a small mall and we’ve often passed it when I go buy computer parts, but have never got my hair done there. For the past 6 years I have gone to a single stylist but unfortunately, she has gone to China for this month. I had to wake-up early so I could “beat the rush” since that place is apparently very popular. When we got there, it was 10:10AM and the place opens at 10:00AM. There were already 6 people in front of us – holy! Also, I live a considerable distance, about a 35-minute drive to Mississauga, so I had to get up and leave my house early.

This is one of those places most people would consider a “high-class stylist shop” – more so than the $6 cuts in Chinatown Toronto and $10 in Koreatown. When I walked in, my first look was obviously the price-list. Holy crap was all I had to say, lol… but I already committed myself to getting my hair done there, so the price was a moot point. From the moment I sat down, there was definitely a feeling of “you get what you pay for.” The seats were comfortable, the decor was great, the relaxing ambient helped me feel at-ease and the stylists were clearly the-best-of-the-best at their job. I remember one time, my girl-friend mentioned that when she got her hair done at a really nice place, the scalp massage and hair-wash was amazing. Just the way she had her hair-stroked and rubbed totally turned her on and she could feel herself “getting wet” (down there). I mocked her at how someone could be turned on by a haircut – but no doubt, as the girl ran her hands through my hair, washed it (5 times… yes, FIVE) and massaged my scalp, I swear I was in a hair-cut-bliss. Although I didn’t quite get turned on like my friend did, I could certainly see why a girl may have such a reaction! If I had imagined and dreamed that it was bebe running her cute fingers through my hair, maybe I would’ve been more excited, LOL.

At first, I was very skeptical to get a short cut due to my lack-of-hair (so I thought, but clearly I have lots of hair it appears, LOL). She said that it would be very hard for me to keep my hair long because I don’t have “manageable hair” and would look terrible on me. She said however given I’m the customer, my wish is her command. I told her that I trusted her expert-opinion and to style my hair in a way that fits my (fat) face. I have this habit of closing my eyes while (any) stylist cuts my hair so I can “surprize myself” when I open my eyes. I could feel the hair falling off my head, it made me grimace at how short she’s going to cut it. When she told me she was done, I opened my eyes and wow… there I was – a new man staring back at myself. I was so happy, because it really did make me look (limited, lol) handsome and manly. I commented on how happy I was with what she chose and just as the stylist promised, wouldn’t even show my “lack of hair” one bit!

When we paid, I left her a nice tip because of how wonderful she made me felt. Yes, at first I was already staring at the prices which made me puke, but now it was all worth it – you do get what you pay for! Before meeting up with some friends for lunch to celebrate an ‘uncles’ birthday, I went to buy some Chinese food from the nearby supermarket. Lunch was great but we had to leave early to get out to North York to where the TCMDR was located. While it’s a long drive from my house, it’s a much shorter drive from Mississauga. There were massive traffic jams on one of the highways, so knowing some alternate routes, we bypassed probably a large majority of the traffic and arrived much earlier than anticipated, only taking 32 minutes to get there! Luckily there were vacancies, so my treatment began. This time I received 16 needles on the back-side and 9 on the front. It was less painful this time because the needles weren’t inserted into places that were as sensitive and I had her “realign” one of the ones that I felt discomfort on this time. It was quite comfortable this time as I had practicality fallen asleep, lol. No doubt, the needles going in hurt as usual and immediately rendered a numbing sensation, but being more relaxed and knowing what to expect this time helped my muscles loosen up.

At the end of the treatment, it is followed by a very tough massage session. When I say tough, it means that she squeezes me with so much power that I actually scream and yelp. I guess not a lot of my readers know me in person, but I do have quite the tolerance for pain. When Iwas young, my parents used to discipline me using “Chinese methods” such as belts, bamboo sticks, rulers and wood planks, so I am quite resistant to pain. I have been kicked in the nose, hit in the nuts (glad I can still have kids, haha), fallen on a steel chain, etc. and have little verbal reaction… yet when she did this “massage”, I couldn’t help but grunt on the pain and breathe in and out heavily trying to resist hitting her back (haha – natural body reaction when someone hurts you). As soon as it started, it ended and my body muscles relaxed after such excruciating pain.

I was given a plethora of natural remedies this time, without the regular Chinese herbal medicine. I knew this was definitely going to cost me, but she was very honest and said this is only meant to be a once-a-year once-every-other-year treatment! It’s a colon and liver cleansing solution, meant to detoxify your body and primary organs. She assured me it’s not going to be something you do regularly (and at such a high-cost). I have seen my dad do naturopathic treatments before and I know it is expensive as shit – but I really want to get my act together and commit myself to being healthy for once. At the end of the day, the bill came to $300 (~ 930rm conversion for my Malaysian readers :P) and we’ll see whether it is worth it! I know that many might think of this as being ripped off or taken advantage of, but I’ll tell you this – when you can FEEL and KNOW something is working well for you, then it’s all worth it. If I had felt no response to her treatments, I obviously would not accept. Also, she is a practical doctor and honest and has mentioned that after 2-3 months, I will no longer need to see her on a regular basis again. If 2-3 months of treatment will buy me good health – so be it. My health is important to me because I have a responsibility to take care of my mom and family. My health is important to me because I care about bebe and want to be strong, healthy and live-long to take care of her. I care about her with all my heart and if my health were to fail, it would affect her tremendously. To maintain your health is not only for yourself, but for everyone around you!

I am now “enrolled” in a 7-day clensing treatment which involves in a regiment of supplements each day, along with a piss-load (literally) of water to drink. Also, for seven days I should not be consuming any meat, fish, dairy product or eggs. I am a meat lover and to consider not having that for a week, I mind as well shoot myself. Ah yes, I just clean out my gun the other day – I guess I can put it to good use now 😐 However, I’m driving myself to stick with it, it’s only SEVEN days of 365 days in a year! I have a week of alternatives lined-up already, so I’ll survive. Each time I feel stupid or angry about how I could let myself get into a situation where I’m restricted what I’m allowed to eat, I remind myself I’m doing this for bebe. She gives me the power to be strong to stay healthy and fit. She gives me the power to do what I could never thought was possible. She gives me the reason to make sure I have the ability to take care of her, her family and our family!

I learned a lot about myself through this TCMDR because she takes time to teach her patients and answers inquiries. The reason why I have such a huge requirement for meat is because my body is so full of toxins and toxins thrive on meat to give us a false-sense of satisfaction. I feel bloated even when I eat small amounts of food or drink a bit of water because the toxin is affecting my digestive system’s ability to recognize hungry/full. The toxins cripple my ability to stay hydrated even when I actually consume enough water. My hair is dry, brittle and falls out easily because the toxins live off of the liver and kidney, both which regulate scalp regularity. By cleaning out these toxins from my liver and colon, I am helping them stay healthy, resume regular operations and my entire body as a whole benefits.

I will feel less desire to consume large portions of meat since the regular human body can survive off of fruits and vegetables. My appetite will reduce to normality since the toxins aren’t acting against my feeling of being full/hungry. I will thin down because my body will start to burn fat and metabolize matter properly. All these things are so important to day-to-day health which we ignore, either out of ignorance or lack-of-knowledge. She applauded me because I’m one of these feel ‘youngens’ who take time to appreciate our health which so many young people take for granted. She gives me hope that through my decisive action to go through this that I will reap the rewards of good health. It is of course any “business person” would say to make you feel good – but the reality is I can feel the difference it has made already for the ONE WEEK I’ve experienced this and no one can tell me that it’s “just a gimmick.”

So I returned home for the night because it’s an exhausting drive. As usual, the highway was packed with cars but luckily I know enough of the roads in Toronto, Scarborough, Markham, North York and Mississauga to duck through the jams and make my way home in about a bit over an hour. My mom decided not to cook and gave me “one last meal with meat” (lol) by ordering pizza. I just took my first drink of the detox liquids tonight and it definitely tasted good 😛 It’s a kiwi flavour, lol. For some odd reason, the stuff burns my throat as it went down, guess it is indicative of the effect it has once it reaches my intestines.

Anyways, we’ll know more after a week of doing this and hopefully I’ll survive for 7 days. I wanna get this done-and-over-with before the “core” of the summer hits. I want to go to the nice Italian restaurant in the hotel @ Niagara-on-the-Lake with bebe so I want to have the “full accessibility” of what to eat rather than losing like 75% of my food options, lol. Speaking of which, as of July, I have already spent a shitload of money. Of course just the TCM alone cost quite a bit, but also this morning I also bought a new mattress. Mine’s getting old and it’s about time for a replacement. Not sure why whenever I have to “spend money” it is all at once, lol.

I’m getting tired but I’m going to go join Ally on BlogTV for a bit 😛 It’ll be my first time and I refuse to go on cam, haha… but I’ll happily talk 😀 Going to sleep after this then!

My First Experience with Acupuncture

Today was my first experience with acupuncture and in fact, totally unexpected. I met up with a friend in Mississauga today as he has been suffering a weird rash on his hands. It’s a mixture of itchy, painful and downright ugly (even he recognizes that). It isn’t like a rash you think of like red blotches – it is this weird black-splotches that look like flesh-eating disease (but not) and the western doctors have tested his body inside-out with no avail of diagnosing what it is. Obviously being Asian, our first bet was to consult a Chinese herbal doctor (specializing in TCM Traditional Chinese Medicine). Over a month his hand has healed tremendously, more so than any of these “creams” and “pills” that conventional medicine has fed/smeared on him. Suffice to say, this post is by no means denouncing western medical expertise, it is just something they have yet to be able to provide a “clear answer” as to what it is. Also, my friend will be leaving Canada to accomplish his MBA in the US, therefore it is imperative that his health be in tip-top condition and also having a hand that looks like it’s rotting isn’t very aesthetically appealing.

TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine

TCM - Traditional Chinese Medicine

We accompanied him because my mom went with him last time just to simply maintain her health. Since it was confirmed that without any major health issues, my mom is simply issued some herbal powder (which you add hot-water) to regulate her existing good health and improve in any areas she’s lacking. Having heard so many great things about this doctor (from more than one source), I decided to give it a shot. For those who know, I have been battling with a minor hair-thinning issue. My western doctor suggested “Rogaine” since he determined it was a hereditary cause from hormones. The TCM disagrees, indicating I have a lot of toxicity built up in my body. This toxicity affects my ability to regulate bodily functions (we’re not talking about that type of bodily function a la peeing and pooping) and thus, hair naturally becomes more brittle and is not as thick as it used to be. Although few people who read this blog know me in person, I was one of those people with this amazing thick and long set of hair. My haircuts used to be monthly. After some tests administered by the TCM doctor, she (yes, SHE) gave me good news that it is not the hereditary factor as we were told, but because my naturally oily (caused indirectly by the crap built-up) body clogged up my hair follicles.

Acupuncture - This is not "new" as it has been part of Chinese medical intervention eras ago

Acupuncture - This is not "new" as it has been part of Chinese medical intervention eras ago

Immediately, she told me that if I wanted, I could undergo an acupuncture treatment as she wanted me to flush all those toxins out immediately. Toxicity can be built up from anywhere from the air we breathe to the foods we eat. I’ll have to admit, I’m not the “healthiest” eater and I did not always lead a great lifestyle, so hearing this was no shock and plus, I’ve always wanted to do a body cleanse anyways. To my surprize, she recommended to put me on a body-cleansing treatment along with acupuncture. This involves a weekly acupuncture session (where the frequency is later reduced/unnecessary) to help stimulate proper blood circulation in my body, to detoxify my body and to reduce hair-loss. I was going to take some time to think it over, but before I knew it, I was on the bed already 😆 She obviously made the decision for me seeing as that she was concerned enough about how much crap over the years I’ve built-up. Ever since I heard about the great benefits of detoxifying my body via a colon cleanse from my coworker, I had always wanted to try it but always “delayed delayed” — I guess this time, it was pretty much instilled upon me 😛

My arms and legs were rendered useless under the effects of paralysis

My arms and legs were rendered useless under the effects of paralysis

With my shirt off (pants on, haha) I first laid face up. She inserted 2 needles in each arm, 2 in my head, 2 in each leg and 2 in my hands (this hurt the most). None of these were “intense pain” but upon insertion, it felt sore and then paralysis began to set in at most of these locations. My body was completely in a state of weakness as my pressure points were all numb. Some of the insertions in places were worse than others, probably due to sensitivity of certain regions. I laid there for about 20 minutes staring at the ceiling, although there were sometimes “twinges” of pain here and there. All of a sudden, I realized my entire body felt like I was a pig in an oven! Even worse were my hands were it felt like someone just stuck it in boiling-hot water if not more. I have never felt so much heat intesify inside my body. I asked my mom (who had to translate for me as the TCM doctor spoke Mandarin) whether I was bleeding (my friend told me he had a bit from the needles) because I felt a lot of wetness. My mom told me that I was all sweaty so sure enough, this “heat” I was feeling wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

The doctor came in and I thought this terror was over – partially from the searing heat/pain and because lying still for 20 minutes is quite boring. Nope, she asked me to turn around which I complied hesitantly, face-first on the bed. She then proceeded to put 3 needles in my neck, 2 in each arm, 2 in each leg and 2 in my back. After the entire treatment was over, I had 23 “freshly created holes” in my body! The removal of the needles were not overly painful as one would assume and the removal of them provided a sort of “relief” as I could resume my body’s motor-functions. I think overall, there was only one poorly placed needle as I felt it painfully going into my back on every “buzz” the electro-thingie made. I could hardly give a technical answer to this, but when I was face-down, she also employed this electric-buzzer thing that would zap… yes ZAP my back every second. Unfortunately I think one of the needles was too close to this and every zap of the thingie dug the needle deeper into my back. After 6 hours, this is the only needle-hole which I still feel and is actually “hurting” (preventing me from sitting properly).

Nevertheless, this was a pretty interesting experience. I have to go again this come Saturday and also to get more herbs. Oh right – herbs! So after the acupuncture, she also gave me this really nice massage! Although horridly painful at first when you have someone pushing every section of your spine and back up n’ down, once she finished, any tense muscles were immediately relaxed. Although I’m not keen in being poked with needles because it fucking hurts – I want to ensure I do this for the good of my health! My health is not only important to me, but also to those around me. Being healthy allows me to take care of my family and friends, most importantly, my bebe and also our future family 😛 People worry less about you when you are in good health and of course best of all, you feel great! Now, regarding the herbs, as I mentioned, the TCM doctor’s goal was to flush my body of all this toxic-crap. She gave me a weeks worth of herbal powder to be consumed twice a day. She warned me that I will be “washroom-prone” – LOL! She used the Mandarin expression 拉肚子 which my mom had to translate to pretty much diarrhea… urg 😦 But she said the whole purpose is to get the toxic crap out and to allow my body to properly regulate itself. On a happy note, she also said this will help me lose weight since all this junk has been built up in my colon and intestines. She explained that the “fat” I see coming out from my stomach is not actually “fat” – but all the garbage one accumulates over time that the body cannot rid through normal defecation and urination.

Depends for Men

Depends for Men

I guess now would be a good time for me to start taking any diaper or adult incontinence donations, LOL. Apparently I’m going to be shitting myself crazy! 😀 The bad thing is that I’m volunteering at a golf tournament this week, so looks like I’m going to have to switch roles to somewhere closer to the washroom. I just downed my medicine tonight and I haven’t felt any “crazy effects” yet – but let’s not speak too soon because Chinese herbal medicine have amazing quick results which means tonight may be fairly sleepless 😆 Well that wraps up my Saturday of Canada Day Weekend… what a great way eh, taking lots of shits and having to drink really bitter herbal mixtures 😛 Come to think of it, I’m rather glad bebe is busy with school right now. How embarrassing is it to have to tell your girl on a date that, “Sorry honey, can you excuse me for an hour? I need to go to the washroom.” – LOL!

Judging Someone Hastily May Be Costly To Yourself

Hrm… something happened to me the other day that made me ponder how judging someone hastily may end up costing yourself! Suffice to say, we all judge people immediately from the first time we see them to the last time we see them – but some judgments are more educated than others. On Tuesday, I had a day off and decided with nothing better to do, I joined my aunt, uncle and mom to lunch which they originally had planned. Since it was not a “formal gathering” I decided to dress simple (especially on a day-off where I don’t have to wear “work clothes”), a t-shirt and jeans. This is definitely a rare treat for me to be able to dress-down since other times I’m either in dress pants/dress shirt or at the very least, business-casual collared shirt w/ slacks or khakis. To be honest, I think in a way, I’ve grown out of dressing down, even by choice. Perhaps to me, I want to ensure I maintain a professional-look even on my “off days” because you never know who you may bump into, whether an existing or potential client.

Nevertheless, we had a lunch at a nearby family dining restaurant, one of our favourites because they have 5.49 lunch specials (Includes coleslaw, choice of potatoes and an entree)! We’re also regulars there, so we also get our VIP card “stamped” for a free meal on the 5th visit and as well we have a $5 off coupon on each of our visits (with minimum restrictions of course). After the meal, we decided we didn’t want to head home since I had a day off and our aunt/uncle had came all the way in from Mississauga, so we wanted to go wander around a nearby mall.

My mom enjoys walking at this mall every day because it is close-to-home and to her, all it matters is that it’s an “indoor mall” because she does it for her morning exercises and a place to have a muffin and coffee. We passed by one of her favourite jewelry stores. Recently, my side job has been providing me with some extra income so I thought I’d spoil my mom with something nice. We usually aren’t very picky with our salesperson, but out of all the ones available (about 5-6 on the front counter), we only knew 1 of them. I would hardly say we’re “regulars” but my mom goes into the mall a lot and is recognized by many of the employees there.

As I walked in, I noticed several salespeople who looked up and simply put their heads back down. It was very unusual because of the many times I’ve walked into this establishment, I’ve always been greeted and asked if I needed assistance. The lady who we usually deal with was busy with another customer and it isn’t like we “had” to talk to her, so any other person would’ve done. At that point, we didn’t have a plan of buying anything, but certainly, even random people who walk in to browse usually get a lot better treatment. Maybe it was the fact I wasn’t wearing a suit or “looked rich” and therefore received no attention. The lady who we normally dealt with saw us, smiled, waved and politely gestured that she was attending to another customer.

My mom peered into the displays as usual, checking out a variety of rings, bracelets, necklaces, earrings, etc. We looked from everything from the cheapie stuff (a couple dollars) to the more expensive thousand-dollar ones. Yes, I realize there are also diamonds which exceed the $10,000 amount, but it wasn’t like we were planning on buying those. My mom and I spent about 20 minutes looking at all the displays and all the salespeople just seemed to have ignored us. Suffice to say, it wasn’t like I was dressed “off the street” like a bum, unruly, dirty and smelly – I didn’t feel like having to “dress up” just to go for lunch.

The lady who we normally dealt with finished and she approached my mom and I. She looked around and thought it was weird that none of the other salespeople asked if we needed assistance. We explained the usual pleasantries and we said we were just browsing but would let her know if we wanted to see something out of the display case. The several times I’ve been to this shop, I had been looking at getting a bracelet for my mom since I had already gotten her a necklace, ring and pair of earrings. I always ask her why she doesn’t wear them, but she says she likes to save them for occasions and also because those accessories are easier to lose. She said a bracelet might be a bit easier to match with her clothing. I noticed this one…

It’s not “the best of the best” but I have been looking at it for a while. It was rather expensive at it’s original price of $750CAD, but was on sale so I asked my mom if she wanted me to buy it for her! It’s a nice 10kt yellow gold, but unfortunately the diamond wasn’t a full carat 😦 I did spot a 1 carat diamond ring, but she said she didn’t want me to spend that kind of money.

Actually, the last time I bought my mom something, I was also eyeing something for my girlfriend and you know what’s great about her? It’s the fact she doesn’t try to “compare” herself with my mom. I told her the one I thought that would look great on her wasn’t as expensive as the one I got for my mom, but she said it’s very normal for me to prioritize my mom over her. She also mentioned she wouldn’t be jealous if I had spent more on a present for my mom rather than her. She’s understanding and holds family hierarchy and traditional values tightly and that’s amazing. It’s very rare that you hear girls being so 大方 (generous attitude towards something). Honestly, one of the greatest pains about being a son when it comes to family is the fact he always has to be stuck in a position where he has to chose girlfriend/wife or mom. Something like that is the bane of every son in this world (with a living mother). Luckily for me, I can happily know (err.. hope) they won’t get into petty squabbles, because I care about both of them in different ways. In jest though, women always “say one thing and think another” so although she says she wouldn’t be jealous, I have a feeling if something like that happens in the future, I’m sure that night I’ll be sleeping on the couch 😆 HAHAHA.

Ah shit, back to the story. So trying to get service was pretty hard and you know, I’m used to walking into a store and being asked if I needed help. This has nothing to do with me being “high up” – it’s just that I dislike bothering people if they are engaged in other matters. I will usually wait for a salesperson who is free before I ask them something, whether it is in a jewelry store or the supermarket. The lady who went usually dealt with noticed that my mom and I were discussing whether we wanted it (in Chinese) and she came over asking us if we wanted to see something. My mom tried it on and she liked it, so we proceeded with the purchase. As the lady took it to the counter to perform the transaction and wrapped it up, all the other salespeople suddenly flocked over and asked us if there was more we needed assistance. Funny that just moments ago, they didn’t even bother to lift their heads and acknowledge our presence until we actually bought something. We received the bag and we happily left the store.

It’s interesting how we as humans often perceive people based on outward appearances. I will not say I’m one of the guys with impeccable tidiness or dress-for-success (when I go out casually), but I’m certainly presentable and clothed. I dress for the ocassion and I dislike it when people make the assumption of whether I look “fit to purchase something.” I suppose all the other salespeople didn’t bother serving us because I looked poor (not that I’m claiming to be rich either though) or even if I did buy something, it would be something cheap where it wouldn’t be worth their effort to serve us. In the end, we bought something that could easily equate to commission worth a full days of work or at the very least, half a days pay for your average household (in a matter of 30 minute serving us). I understand when it comes to serving customers, there are no guarantees they will buy something and many “experienced salespeople” will say they can spot those who are truly interested in browsing or ones who are actually buying. Maybe these people just weren’t experienced enough to spot us or perhaps a misjudgment on their part, but it was a foolish act because any other one of those salespeople could’ve been the one to win this transaction had they taken the time to even reach out their hands in assistance.

I learned this lesson at a young age, that it is a grave mistake to judge people too hastily. I remember when I went to meet one of my dad’s friend (we respectfully call our elder male friends “uncle” in Chinese relations) at a high-class hotel for lunch. We did not pick the place (since we’re not of that wealth-level) and I thought it was very awkward that when uncle arrived, he was dressed in some shaggy shorts, had sandals on and looked like he just got out of bed. I quietly whispered into my dad’s ear whether that is “actually the person we’re meeting” and sure enough, it was. It turns out this uncle owns about 3 buildings in Hong Kong and is a major shareholder across many 5-star HK hotels. What I also didn’t see was that he arrived in a personal limo, the CEO of the hotel came down to greet him and call him by name when he arrived and that all the workers bowed their heads and called him Mr. ____ as he walked by – all this, I did not see and could not fathom for a man who could easily pass as a guy who picked up cans off the street. From then on, it was a great lesson at a young age to not judge people by exterior means, unless you have something to back up those judgments. “Wealth” is not always something that can necessarily be seen either. As I was told by my dad later, uncle’s bank account balance more trailing 0’s (zeroes) than the number of holes I had on my belt.

The next time (especially for people involved with sales) you decide to judge someone based on exterior appearances, think again for they may have surprizes you don’t know about. Don’t overlook people until you have the facts!

Judge Judy.... tsk tsk

14 Differences Between Japanese Women & Chinese Women

I’m out today helping out at a party.. so don’t have time to write a full post.. but I did find something amusing as I was checking out my “usual sites” while on break at my laptop. This is strictly for humour purposes, so no need to moan, groan, bitch or cry about it 😛 This post does not define the way I view women but I did get a chuckle. The contents included within the quoted portions belong to another site as noted in the title section of the entry.

14 Differences Between Japanese Women & Chinese Women

61 commentsby Fauna on Saturday, May 8, 2010

Women: China vs. Japan.

This is not new but has recently spread on the Chinese internet again.

On China.com and cn.MSN.com:

Japanese women vs. Chinese women: A little mean, but makes some good points!

1.

Japanese women often teach their children to bravely fight the forces of evil, and even if they lose, it is still infinitely glorious, the highest honor.

Chinese women often teach their children that when they encounter the forces of evil they must be good at hiding/running away/avoiding. They say that God will punish them [the forces of evil].

2.

Japanese women believe Japan is the world’s greatest country.

Chinese women usually believe that the moon may be rounder abroad [“the grass is greener”].

3.

Japanese women usually believe marrying foreigners is a kind of disgrace.

Chinese women usually feel that marrying foreigners is a kind of infinite glory.

4.

Japanese women are normally lady-like, but dirty in bed.

Many Chinese women are lady-like in bed, but dirty out of bed.

5.

Most Japanese women abide by the rules of a woman, supporting her husband, raising her children, dutifully.

China is the world’s number one country for one-night stands and extramarital affairs.

6.

Japanese women are almost all very filial, seeing their mother-in-law as their own mother.

Most Chinese women are all too eager for their mother-in-law to quickly die.

7.

Japanese wives treat their husbands with encouragement and concern. Returning home late at night exhausted at the end of a day, the wife will say “you’ve had a tough day.”

Chinese wives treat their husbands with complaints and scolding. Returning home late at night exhausted at the end of a day, the wife will roar “where the hell did you go this time?”

8.

Most young Japanese girls will find a man who is around their age to marry, and make a life with him together.

Young Chinese girls always find a wealthy “old” man, and don’t mind even being his Nth mistress/wife.

9.

Japanese mothers teach their daughters to look after their husbands, and diligently be filial to her parents-in-law.

Chinese mothers teach their daughters that they must keep firm control of all the man’s assets.

10.

Japanese women can tolerate men without money [poor men], but definitely cannot tolerate cowardly and weak men.

Chinese women can tolerate cowardly and weak men, but definitely cannot tolerate men without money.

11.

Japanese women see manly men as the most charming men.

Chinese women see manly men as male chauvinists.

12.

Most Japanese women are very lenient towards men’s infidelity.

Most Chinese women are very lenient towards their own infidelity.

13.

Japanese women almost never say bad things about Japanese men in public or in the media.

Chinese women always loudly curse and mock Chinese men on various media.

14.

The first words of Japanese women on their wedding night is: “If I do not look after/service you well tonight, please be forgiving.”

The first words of Chinese women on their wedding night is: “Hurry and see how much money was received today.”

Comments from cn.MSN.com:

MR.lau:

Different countries have different cultures.

njmct:

There are good things and bad things. Chinese people just have more bad things.

Eugenie:

Japan has more virgins…

喜获:

Japan has AV [adult video] women, China does not, this is the root.

ohyeah0715:

Haha…I see it as just a joke = = Some definitely make some sense…though if women saw this they probably would be very unhappy…Some of it is different circumstances, some things result from different traditions and culture…society is the key, and actually women are innocent…

SIMPLE-KATE:

Many of them are not accurate, just ask those who have experience studying abroad in Japan, not a single one wants to marry Japanese women.

EllaZhang2010:

Seeing this makes me feel the lou zhu is Japanese. With the conditions being different in the two countries, there is nothing that is comparable. Using this post to put down a country is a bit too comical.

梨涡浅浅:

I bet the lou zhu was born in Japan. If not, then he must be sent by Japanese to stir up trouble with China.

安柒佑:

Just as the LZ said, what cannot be denied is that it does reflect some characteristics of Chinese female’s.
But Chinese people have always been an arrogant people, unwilling to listen to our own bad side,
nor willing to search for the problems on ourselves, but instead will search for the shortcomings of the other party and fight back…
LZ’s post can be very controversial, can be very explosive!

牛百万:

I think the “Chinese” and “Japanese” in the post should all be changed to “some”.

Taking a part as the whole will only hurt the majority of innocent people.

I trust that the two types of women in the post both appear in every country.

Everyone knows that China is a “large denominator” country, so, I am willing to say, China has more good women than any country in the world; At the same time, China’s also has the most bad women in the world. We must face ourselves.

This post is obviously being too extreme~

cqc4500:

May I ask those who approve of these sayings, have you guys ever met/known/interacted with Japanese women before?

梦落百花殺:

[I] only know that Japanese women are niubi in bed, the rest [I] don’t really know~~

A friend found a Japanese girlfriend, and he said that in less than 3 days, she had already said “I love you” and established their relationship. Then pretty much every night thereafter, the girl has “special requests”, truly has a big appetite…

Comments from China.com:

antisb:

Japanese AV female stars know to raise donations for Chinese earthquakes. Whereas China’s movie queen knows to exploit the earthquake to collect donations for herself and her own fame!
Japanese prostitutes don’t hide what they are, whereas China’s whores insist on their own dignity!

圣人不仁:

It basically speaks the truth, and speaking of just Southeast Asia, Chinese women are all ranked from the bottom.

再平广岛:

As someone who really hates Japanese people, in comparison, I too believe this is basically in accordance with teh truth. *Sweating wildly…

再平广岛:

Although, there’s something I forgot to say. With Japanese women being this good, this only increases my motivation to exterminate Japanese men.

天才笨笨猪:

Comrades must work hard, so we may seize/occupy Japan in the future, kill all Japanese men, and steal all the Japanese women.

杀回人生:

Had I known sooner I wouldn’t have gotten married!! ~Too late now!!~

最后红卫兵:

Do you guys know that those who make AV in Japan these days are basically Chinese women? I haven’t watched AV in a long time, so the ones you guys are watching are probably older ones…
And what more, they always have the Chinese perform the most obscene/dirty kind…

modi12:

While it is true that Chinese women have relatively more shortcomings, Japanese women are far from perfect. Take for example them waiting for you at the door when you return home, helping hold your bag/briefcase and saying you’ve had a tough day. This is just Japan’s basic etiquette, there’s no real meaning/sincerity. After marriage, Japanese women often just stay at home and no longer work, not independent like Chinese women, and what more, they believe that if they still have to go out and work after getting married, they will be looked down upon by others.

凤山道人:

Chinese women these days are seriously too dirty, too lousy, and too shameless!!!

小烦:

All a result of education/upbringing. China’s education/upbringing cannot even be called “failure”. Using “shameless” to describe would be more appropriate.
Actually, louzhu only criticizing Chinese women is very unfair. It is not as if Chinese men are any better.
In today’s Chinese society, the men are thieves, the women are whores, the old are hooligans, the young are bastards.

Comparison of Korean, Chinese, and Japanese girls' faces.

and now I conclude that perhaps I should be looking for a Japanese wife…. LOL!

(Source included within the article title and content belongs to all their respective owners)

Telling the Truth in a Relationship: Being Moral or Being Stupid?

Today, I pondered this notion… whether telling the truth sometimes is a smart idea. I know plenty of circumstances in life often warrant telling a lie… most common in our family is sometimes we have hidden the passing of an elderly family member from an equally elderly member to prevent them from having to go through the grief and perhaps damage their already fragile/failing health. Whether or not doing something like this is valid and moral, it is up to you to decide where you think “telling the truth” is beneficial.

Relationship: Is telling the truth BENEFICIAL or HARMFUL?

Today, I encountered one of the many times this has happened to me recently in my relationship where telling the truth didn’t always render goodwill or an understanding. I’m finding myself being more drawn-back from wanting to tell the truth to my Bebe. I always believed that in a relationship, one should be truthful about the type of person we are and of course, speak the truth. I particularly find it revolting for people to lie to their boyfriend, girlfriend, partner, significant other, spouse, or what have you… However, recently, I’ve been often trying to hide myself away from telling her things about myself. Ever sinec the initial incident, I’ve tried to avoid conversations of my personal life (to a degree obviously), my experiences or family matters because I have found sometimes she makes judgments and begins to have negative attitudes towards things I say and thus, have sheltered most of our conversations away from those topics.

I made a grave mistake today, bringing up the topic of my mom with her. I love my mom dearly and hold her in high respects, but it is no truth if I say I do not get into fights with her, disagreements, or arguments. I do not “like” or “condone” everything my mom does, so sometimes the differences in opinions generate friction, but does not mean we do not live well under a single household. Oddly enough, the dynamics of this family is truly held together by our two different personalities resulting in a fairly complimentary roles in our family unit.

So… which comes to the point of me telling her about my family and talking about my family. Today, she drew some very negative conclusions about the way I talked about my mom. Maybe you could say I often make conversations more 誇張 (exaggerated) than they really are, but she takes what I say and then holds it against me and gets all upset with me about it. I will admit, I have my downfalls as a person, there are times when some people have chastised me with the way I have spoken with my mom or reacted to something she’s done. I’m not saying I’m the “perfect son” (although would say I am a “good son”), so surely, there sometimes are lines that get crossed. Nevertheless, she was very unhappy with me telling about my conversations with my mom. Suffice to say, I can understand that perhaps she would dare not speak to her own parents that way, but to criticize me seems awkward, especially when she does not know the fully story or the scenarios which led up to the point. In the past, I have criticized her about the way she treats her brothers (including elder ones) and she went all pissy on me about it… and now, she turns around on me and gives me shit for it -__-”

To be fair, neither of us truly understands each others family matters at the moment, so I think it’s unfair for either of us to be calling each other on about how we talk, things we do or the roles we play within our own family structure. That is not to say our families won’t get together or that we do not make a great couple, but that we should hold reservations when it comes to passing judgment. She didn’t get ‘mad’ at listening to me tell her the conversation between my mom and I, but she certainly had a negative word or two to say to me and she’s obviously holding those thoughts in her head now about the way she perceives me. This comes down to my question of how honest should couples be with each other about themselves? This will really make me second-guess whether I want to tell her anything more about myself or events/people around me.

It makes me sad that this is the second instance this has really plopped up in my head. I want our relationship to be open, honest and frank… not filled with mysteries. Although I would not per se, want to being lying to her… I definitely have to “jazz things up” before I tell her things.. make it sound pretty or perhaps tell her in convoluted ways in which it will create a “positive spin” (kind of like politicians… take something bad and actually manage to make it sound good). I prefer not to have things “surprize her” by letting her know the real-deal rather than hiding things from her, but she leaves me little choice because I don’t feel I can express things without it negatively affecting us.

This frustrates me because I dislike lying because I feel it is immoral, especially when it comes to things that represent who I am. I have this want to start turning things I do and say into”a false reality”, where I am “perfect” in her eyes, rather than being the real me where we can learn to accept each others shortcomings. I am not a perfect person, I have done and probably will do things which are wrong. I do not believe it is fair to expect perfection from a person, even if it is a partner or spouse. We all have flaws and having them held against me makes me want to hide these flaws, rather than being truthful and expressing them where we can help one another overcome these obstacles.

It sounds like I’m going in circles now, because I start to feel that telling the truth or expressing the ‘real me’ around her has negative effects. I should start being “fake” or telling only the “pretty parts” of a story and leaving all the realities out. It sometimes makes me think that I should be a fairytale or something. I don’t want to be like that becasue the truth will surface at one point or another. However, if she just wants someone who does everything “right in her eyes”… then I have to start changing the things I say, do or methods of which I express myself. I don’t want to… I detest the notion that I need to… yet, where is the line of rationale and morals?

For the sake of a relationship, is it right to be a person you really aren't?

Should we make ourselves appear to “exactly what our partners want” just to appease them? Is this actually lying or simply a way of jazzing things up and making ourselves appear “better” than we really are? It may be false, but it also does help keep a relationship going. Should we simply be “less” truthful – but not to the point of lying? I haven’t considered how I’m going to tackle this, because this isn’t the first time where my openly-truthful self has caused me to bite my own tongue. It doesn’t make sense that I cannot freely express myself and inner-self to a girl who I truly care about, but at the same time, if it generates negativity and impacts our relationships or her view of me, I rather lie about it and “modify” stories to ‘her liking’ where I come out as the hero, an honourable and FLAWLESS person. That’s unrealistic… but maybe everyone wants a perfect boyfriend/girlfriend…

Worrying Over The Uncontrollable

Today, I read an entry by one of my regular visitors, Cherrie on the topic of death.

In my mind, I always wonder why most people worry about things which they cannot control. Suffice to say, I’m not chastising her, I’m just thinking why humans have to have such an active mind, sometimes where emotions and logic disagree with each other. Let’s just say that you as are standing out on the street and see a missile dropping down on your spot. What can you do? Absolutely nothing. You can scream, you can tell other people, but within seconds, all that is useless. I am like that too, I worry about things I shouldn’t be. I worry about things out of my control.

Although I have changed a lot, I am still far from being one of those people who can “Using the sky as a blanket should it fall down.” This is a Chinese expression, used to describe people who have a really good ability to view every scenario in the best-possible way. I wish I could be like that, my grandfather and my father was like that. Whatever happened, they just shrugged and smile. You cannot believe how happy people like that live. Over the years, I certainly have done some self-improvement, learning that if things are uncontrollable, I should not worry about them. Whether I worry or not, it will not change the situation and at most, I am only damaging my own health and stability. I agree with Cherrie and it isn’t that I’m not afraid of dying, I am – but there’s nothing to change the course of life and death. Nevertheless, I have gone through panic phases before and I worry about death. 😥

It is slightly annoying I find that on one level, I am logical. I tell myself, “If I can do nothing to change the matter, I should not care.” – yet, I still do. I’m sure you’re all wondering why this suddenly came to light. Ever since I met my bebe, I worry about small things, things that may or may not be out of my control. Maybe I am extra sensitive when it comes to hurt, I’m attentive and want to be accessible to her at all times. I fret about small little things. When I don’t see her online for a few days, I worry. I cradle my phone and hope to see a text message or I want to send one out, but don’t want to annoy her. I look at my MSN frequently to see if she logs on. I check the news, to see if something has happened near her neighbourhood. I check my voicemails and answering machines to see if she has left me something. I peer at Facebook and see if there’s any sort of activity that I know she’s ok. In my mind, there’s 101 things that could happen to her. Whenever I don’t see her presence, I begin to worry. Indeed, I do not dispute that she “has a life” other than being online or talking to me, but all these worries float up when she’s away unexpectedly or is busy. 😐

My friend Amy, often brings up the point of whether it is better for guys to have a girlfriend or not (or in my case, someone I care about). Little things that we fret over, whether she is safe, healthy and sound. For several months, my bebe ignored me because she could not come to terms that someone could care about her so deeply and did not know what to say for me. When we began talking again, I found out she hurt herself and as she told me, I swear my heart skipped a beat. I started worrying, oh no, is she ok, what is wrong, is it a big problem, can I help, should I have been there for her? Is it my fault for not being available to her? How did she get to the hospital? Are there long-term effects? What have I done wrong? and there’s a lot of self-blaming and over-reaction to things like that. Most people would say, “Then why don’t you just contact her?” and truth be, I know she doesn’t want a guy clinging to her 24/7 and that she has obligations like school, clubs, friends, personal time and errands. Yet, how does a regular person, express care and affection, without going overboard and contacting someone like that? I want to send her text messages to see what she’s doing, yet I do not want to appear I’m prying. I want to know that she’s safe, but how do I do it without looking like I’m tracking her every move? How do I tell her I care, without sounding like I’m treating her like a baby? How do I communicate with her, without worrying that I’m disturbing her from studying, sleeping or an activity? How do I ask her what she’s up to, without making her feel like she has to report to me? … God, so many things that I want to do, feel hesitant, yet feel like I ought to do… how does a person keep their distance, yet stay close enough for her to feel it? ACK! -__-”

Yes, worrying about those you love and care about is nothing unusual, but certainly, it seems trivial to worry about something I had no control over. Logically, what happened has happened… she already hurt herself and I can’t change that – yet, I still worry. When it comes down to this, I think I remember my parents once telling me that as a parent, who has a son/daughter, you worry about them 24/7. When you are 70 and they are 50, you still worry about them. It is an everlasting commitment and bond. Every moment that my bebe isn’t in front of me, I think about her well-being, hoping that she is happy, safe, in good-company, healthy, etc. Even when I’m in front of her, I ask myself whether she is happy, enjoying herself and feels relaxed. Why is it that us humans (or maybe me…) are so stupid like this? So obsessed and overrun by emotions rather than logic? Or is it me, who do not think like a regular man and rather, think with my emotions like a woman? Men are supposed to tough, supposed to be uncaring, supposed to be unaffected by emotions – we are supposed to be rock-solid, void of feelings and think strictly through practicality and logic. 😕

Alas, tomorrow I am having my accountant-friend over help me with doing my taxes for my business. My personal taxes as usual have been done for a while since I like to keep on-top-of-it. I feel stressed out over it, although I know that he’ll take good care of me (in a completely non-gay way) and I don’t need to question his help. We’ll probably go out for an early dinner or late lunch once we finish up as thanks. I’m so happy to have friends of all fields and they come in handy, what friends are for… and they know they can rely on me when they have computer issues. I suppose once tomorrow is done, I will hopefully be stress-free until the next tax season! I’m just waiting to find out how much more money I have to fork over the the government… urg.

But anyways… I thought I’d leave this music video for you guys. 🙂 I lurv it… moreover, I lurv GEM, lol. Sorry, it’s in Cantonese, so it might be a bit dry for you if you don’t understand it 😛

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