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Always Maxi Leakguard Plus with Odor Lock (Regular) Review

So after receiving quite a few emails, IM’s and tweets inquiring about the lack of reviews lately, I finally decided to pony-up and do one. Suffice to say, I only blame my own laziness since I tested this product like 3 weeks ago but just never gotten around to writing something for it. It’s one of those few Always products that I’m really impressed with and the last one to truly make me go “wow” was the Always Infinity. The Always Maxi Leakguard Plus with Odor Lock has really changed the face of Always for me, particularly when it comes to their worst “feature” – the comfort level of their ‘like cotton’ top-layer, which really, feels more like plastic. Another reason why I had delayed the posting of this was to give it to two of my girls to try and lucky for me, when I acquired the pads, 2 of them were days away from getting their periods so I thought, “Hey, I might as well wait until their period comes around to test them with me!” and thus, the procrastination began. Bebe bought these pads for me, so it was extra sweet-sweet 😛

So people have often asked me what is it that I have ‘against’ Always… is it just because they’re such a big brand name and they’re so “popular” that I force myself to dislike their products? Absolutely not. I’m one of those people who like to give credit where due, so if they do make a good product, despite how much (example only) I dislike them, I would still give them the thumbs up. As I previously mentioned, my biggest “problem” with Always pads is ever since they switched to the so called “feels like cotton” top layer, which I have found to actually be more “feels like plastic” giving a very wet, uncomfortable feel. The worst is when there’s sweat involved, then it just compounds the feeling of the plastic-feeling. You don’t have to take my word for it since most people will point out, “But you’re a non-menstruating guy, how would you know?” – well, at least you can take my girls’ word for it. My ex was a huge “Always girl” even when she was with me and we were exploring with different stuff, but after a long-day out in a hot summer’s day or if we were involved in strenuous activities, whenever she changed her pad in the washroom she’d always complain about how terrible the sweat on the pad felt because it caused a “rough sliding” feeling due to the plastic-feeling of the top layer of the traditional series of the Always pads. Whenever she tossed me her wrapped pad to throw in the garbage, the days where her sweat started to collect in the pad was noticeable and rather gross, so I can only imagine how the feeling of a sweaty-period-soaked pad felt on her. In the Leakguard w/ Odor Lock series of the Always pads, they really stepped up their game by changing the top-cover to truly be comfortable, with a dry weave that REALLY feels like cotton, is smooth and flexible to conform to the contours of the body.

It would appear that none of the Leakguard w/ Odor Lock pads come with wings and why not, I have no idea. However, despite not having wings, they still fit well and hold well to undergarment. I’m sure for the women who are devoted to using winged-pads only, this might be a worrying test for them. When it comes to getting the pad out of the package, it is just like any typical Always pad. The pad unfolds into 3 sections and you simply remove the pad from the adhesive. The wrapper has a white resealing tape that allows you to wrap/roll up the old pad, secure it and dispose of it. Because the pad itself does have a light scent it even passes it to the wrapper and helps mask the used and disposed product. This is very useful for the women who often will “pool up” numerous used pads before taking out the garbage, because it helps control the amount of dried menstrual fluid that it begins to affect air quality. This was a very noticeable thing because when I went over to one of my girl’s house who was testing this product for me, her trash full of these (and different) pads didn’t give off the usual menstrual smell. Since she’s living with 2 other female friends who appears to also be having their period, the scenting from the disposed wrappers really helped to kill odour which emits from wrapped, saturated pads.

Another weird thing is that this line of product doesn’t have a lot of variety, they only come in two sizes/absorbency: Regular and Super, limiting the flexibility of the product since it cannot tailor to the various changes while menstruating or that is, unless you simply over-use or under-use the product. Supposedly, the pad is supposed to be able to deal with slight urine-loss, not that most pads can’t do that if it’s only a minor amount, but there’s one thing that’s particularly important when it comes to incontinence problems. Because urine is actually a lot smellier than menstrual flow, it’s an absolutely necessity for any form of odour control to be present in incontinence or partial-incontinence products. Since these pads had both period and incontinence handling in mind, the odour locking methods were rightfully used to design the product. Mind you, a pad like this does not replace pads like Poise or Tena, since those were truly designed for a higher degree of non-menstrual fluid absorbency and the Always Maxi would only be suitable for those who have leakage as a result of a sneeze, cough or a small tinkle, but will not be capable of absorbing a bladder-full of urine – leave that up to the REAL incontinence products.

As you can see, these pad wrapper design has followed suit with the changes to their regular Always-line. The colour coding for the pad wrapper is the same as their regular series as well, yellow for REGULAR and green for SUPER. It has been a while since I’ve last held a REGULAR Always Maxi (original one), but I actually think the Leakguard Odor Lock series is actually lighter, probably due to the composition of the pad. Dimensionally, it FEELS smaller/shorter, but I think probably not, so maybe it’s just my own bias. The regular-sized package of these pads come in 22 units. I paid (or well, Bebe paid) $3.88 for a pack of these, working out to 17.6 cents per pad. I was talking to one of my regular readers, Andie, and it seems like Walmart only likes to stock the REGULAR absorbency and not the SUPER, because the only place I’ve been able to find the SUPER absorbency ones are at the Rexall’s and SDM’s… so what’s up with Walmart not buying the larger ones? LOL. Speaking of which, I can tell that this line of product does not really appeal to the masses, because the inventory on them were nearly untouched compared to other brands or absorbency. I realize it’s a new product and not everyone likes to dive head-first, so hopefully this review will be able to help people out. Really, the pad is far from being an incontinence product, so there should not be a fear or shame that buying these pads will automatically mean you have bladder issues.

As you can see, just by the looks of it, it appears to be a lot more comfier than the traditional Always pad. They’ve finally decided that the rough, plasticky dry weave isn’t good enough for a “new product” and decided to use some REAL material that helps make the wearer feel much more comfortable and secure. Like the typical Always pad, they have the famous blue lock-in core. What’s very noticeable the first time you get a hold of the package or open the first pad is the scent. The scent is not strong like the Stayfree pads, but is still quite pungent. It takes a bit of getting used to and while it is “light” in terms of the strength of the scent, it is one of those unmistakable smells. The smell luckily does not stick around as long as the Stayfree pads, but it is noticeable when the pad is worn, especially if the girl is wearing something that allows air to travel between her legs, like shorts or a skirt. I don’t want to get people all riled up over it not being discrete or obvious, since a smell like this would only ever be detectable by someone who even knows what the scent is, such as a fellow female or menstrual enthusiast. The scent is really useful however as I stated before, both during period-use and as well as for post-usage when it is disposed. The pad is 8 inches (~20 cm) long and is a uniform 3 inches wide (~7.6 cm), except at the front & rear of the pad.

   

The scent is very interesting, because it does more than give off a light smell or to cover-up odour, but also acts as a very cool and smooth feeling against the body. The feeling of this pad when used is similar to that of the Stayfree Thermocontrol pads, where it leaves a cool and comfortable feel on the skin. The pad cover, when saturated, begins to lock in odour, absorb quickly and emits a cool-like feeling. The smell of the scent is hard to describe, I would actually say that the smell is similar to herbs and gives a very soothing type of aroma. The absorbency of the pad is not as quick as the Always Infinity line, but is faster than the standard Always line. The pad itself is lightweight, again, lighter than the standard Always, but not as weightless as the Infinity.

The disposal of the used pad is also nice because of the soft cover, unlike the standard Always line it isn’t as hard and tough to roll or fold up. When doing a test and twisting the pad, the flow managed to stay well-locked in the pad and did not flow back to the surface. With the suggestion of Andie, I disassembled the pad and could not find any obvious traces of absorbing gel and appeared to be made completely of cotton and cellulose-type material. The top cover continued to stay intact even during disassembling and it was very obviously that the “contents” of the pad were locked underneath and not sitting on the top layer, therefore, creating a very comfortable feel when the pad is saturated. The only problem with this design is that because it absorbs so well, it’s hard to tell when the pad has absorbed enough to be changed since it stays light and distributes flow underneath well where it isn’t apparent that it’s already “on the fringe” of leaking. One of my girls who tested this for me did mention that she came to a near-leak incident because the pad didn’t appear or feel like it was ready to overflow because the center of the pad did not look saturated, nor did the pad feel weighty that would make you think it has collected quite a bit. I suppose this pad may take some getting-used-to to avoid the possibility of not being able to gauge when it is necessary to change.

I would definitely recommend this pad to others and has given me renewed confidence in Always. It’s nice to know that they’re trying to get ahead-of-the-game and also moving away from their so-called “like cotton” dry weave and moving to one which feels comfortable, regardless of the weather. After all, pads are terrible when it’s gross outside and you’re sweating, mixed with menstrual flow smell and if incontinent, even urine – so to have a pad that can stand up to that really is impressive. Although the price is steeper than the usual line of pads or other brands, for $3.88 everyday low price at Walmart, I can’t complain. While at first glance this pad might not seem like a good idea to switch because of the price point, remember that comfort, security and absorbency brings a very important feeling to a menstruating individual. If Always continues to modify their pads with comfort in-mind, I’d be a lot happier to start supporting more of their products and perhaps they can win their business back from me and my girls!

A Tampon Without An Applicator (O.B.)? DIRTY!

So my entry title is what I’ve heard from many of my girl’s who have taken my advice to switching or trying non-applicator tampons. Namely in Canada, I believe O.B. is the only “mainstream” brand that has tampons without applicators, although there are “side brands” – particularly organic manufacturers – who make non-applicator tampons. I’m sure people wonder where they get such an unusual name for a tampon manufacturer, but the letters O.B. is an acronym, “Ohne Binde German for, “without a pad” (or rough equivalent), so now that it makes sense, it’s a very fitting name. Of course being the menstrual enthusiast that I am, I am actually quite ashamed to say I took little note of this tampon brand until it was introduced to me by one of my ex’s – name withholding obviously.

A tampon is a tampon, however, just the minor difference (well, minor in my mind) between inserting a tampon WITH an applicator and WITHOUT an applicator has struck fear into even some of my elite-tampon using girls. I remember when even introducing O.B. to my god-sis, she blinked at me blankly when I told her that you just “use your fingers to push it up” – rather than pushing the bottom of the tube to feed the tampon up the vagina. She did try using them, but unfortunately, they were confiscated (yes seriously, by her mom) and she still said she preferred using an applicator because it removes the “ickiness” of possible contact of her fingers with her vagina or menstrual fluid. Honestly though, I would assume that following general hygiene that one would wash their  hands before and after handling any feminine hygiene products (or obviously even after just going to pee/poop), so the idea that one may come in contact with their own vagina or menstrual flow makes my mind spin a little. In fact, good insertion techniques with a non-applicator tampon is probably more “clean” than having to withdraw a blood-smeared applicator and risk any strands of menstrual flow or clots from falling out during the applicator withdrawal.

It’s probably quite obvious that the environmental footprint for an applicator and non-applicator tampon is very different. Non-applicator tampons are generally sold in smaller boxes (physical size) and individually wrapped only using a film-type wrapper. Applicator tampons are usually individually wrapped with a plastic wrapper and also the cardboard or plastic applicator itself generates additional waste. While cardboard is indeed recyclable, you have to wonder, how many people really separate their tampon applicators from regular waste? I can say that out of all my girls or women I have ever talked to, they just ditch their cardboard applicators along with the regular garbage. Since the sizing for applicator tampons is larger (even the compact ones sold by other brands), the boxes they come in are also larger as well.

In my opinion, O.B. tampons are SUPER CUTE. Well, not that it matters from a usage perspective, but making a cool-looking tampon can have its appeals. Or wait… maybe it only appeals to us menstrual lovers, LOL! Also, don’t forget that an applicator can sometimes cause injuries. Because many tampons have flanged ends for the applicator tip, it can catch on skin causing some major owies. Also particular to women who are just learning to use tampons, stabbing themselves with the applicator DOES happen. With an O.B. tampon, because you are more attuned by a fine-motor skill (your fingers), you have full control of the direction and movement while inserting the tampon. Don’t forget that assuming you are practicing general hygiene, using your fingers to insert the tampon is a clean alternative to introducing a foreign object such as cardboard or plastic into the most intimate area of your body. Although I’ve had debates with women on whether it’s “faster” to insert using an applicator or without one, I for one must say that it’s a lot easier to insert a non-applicator tampon since it requires less “unpakaging”, “preparation” and “fiddle-time”.

For those who may be interested in switching or exploring the use of a non-applicator tampon (or if you’d just like to educate yourself), here’s one of those O.B. pamphlets that are included in every box of their tampons:

O.B. Tampon Instructions

O.B. Tampon Instructions

You can click the image for a better resolution pictures and to see the text better!

Walmart Sampling (Canada): U by Kotex

Looks like Canadian Walmart’s are finally adopting American Walmart marketing tactics. Walmart (Canada) is now beginning to offer samples via their site to promote products which they sell. Up for grabs this round is 2 U by Kotex tampons and 1 U by Kotex pad.

You can access the samples by filling out the order form at… https://sampling.walmart.ca/kimberly-clark/

UbK has been in-stores in Walmart for quite a while now, but they just recently released this banner to make it sound like it “just” arrived… which is not really the case though:

You can see all the UbK products available at Walmart (location dependent) in their Health & Wellness section of the website at…

http://www.walmart.ca/Health-Wellness/Product-Collections/U-by-Kotex-products

I like rather than demonstrating the features and all the great protection value of the pad, they emphasize “style” and “cute”… oh man, is the next generation of pads and tampons going to look pretty but work like a rag? LOL…

*NEW* Always Infinity Pads @ Costco

*NEW* Always Infinity Pads @ Costco

*NEW* Always Infinity Pads @ Costco

For those who have Costco membership, Costco now stocks Always Infinity pads! According to their ad, the pad: “Made with a revolutionary material called Infinicel™, Always Infinity® provides non-stop absorbency for up to 8 hours.”

Most of the packs in regular retail stores usually only sell them in the extra-sized box of 30’s, but since Costco is all about jumbo-sizing of everything, these ones come in 60’s, essentially “two” double-packs. I haven’t went to Costco yet, so I’m not sure if they will be carrying all 3 absorbency of the pads: regular, heavy and overnight (the picture shows the green heavy ones).

If anyone happens to go to Costco and has further details, please feel free to let me know, especially the price! Seems like Costco’s website hasn’t quite updated with this new product yet, but it will be listed under #221208 when it’s available online, otherwise, it should be already on-the-shelf by now!

Female Masturbation Education

I guess doing so many posts about periods; I’ve occasionally felt compelled to read up on many things related to women’s health. I suppose there’s not all too many things that are exciting about male health, so that’s why I have little drive to write about it – or maybe it’s because I don’t feel naturally attracted to it, lol. Today, I’d like to take some time to talk about female masturbation, hopefully in an educational stance. As with many of my posts, my information is from “what I read” and also “what I hear” from my girls or from women who have in the past felt comfortable sharing this information with me. No names will be used and I will try to generalize much of this information so it is not too revealing. Furthermore, I’m going to try to avoid making this a scientific post, but rather, write this in “laymen’s terms.” Before starting, I’d like to remind EVERYONE that masturbation has nothing to do with your virginity. I must’ve stated that a lot of time when talking about tampons, but whether you insert anything or not into the vagina for masturbation purposes, it does not take away your virginity. Virginity is ‘lost’ when you have sexual intercourse, whether with opposite or same-sex partners.

So what is masturbation? Masturbation is all about pleasuring oneself sexually with or without the intent of orgasm. Masturbation is “suitable” for all ages and in fact, masturbation often occurs even in young children (whether they recognize it or not), with more prominent masturbation occurring in the tween or teen years. Masturbation is not wrong, while in some religions or cultures, it might not be acceptable. Frankly speaking, many Asian girls I know have an utter distaste for masturbation, possibly from the upbringing that to touch yourself sexually is considered wrong, perverse, dirty, disgusting, and gross or I have even been challenged with, “Why would I do such a thing? EWWW..” It is actually quite unfortunate that Asian culture – more so for Asian women – do not like to accept masturbation as a “normal” and “acceptable” thing. Things as simple as having a discussion person-to-person or from viewing forums, non-Asian cultures tend to be much more open and accepting of masturbation, amongst many other taboo subjects, including menstruation.

Masturbation is a wonderful thing for many reasons and being able to attune to one’s body is a great experience for the individual themselves. Masturbation is sometimes associated with guilt, which should not be the case. Having spoken to a few female friends before on this topic that are “against” masturbation, many see it as if they were defiling themselves or that such actions would make them feel unclean as if it would ruin their chances of obtaining a partner. Speaking for myself, I would much prefer a girl who masturbates (or has) versus one who doesn’t. This doesn’t have to do with whether she shares it with me or not, but rather, the fact that she has intimate knowledge about her own body and is willing to surrender herself to the pleasure and orgasms. Most notably, you will find that women who do masturbate and know how to reach orgasm often report more sexual satisfaction even WITH a partner, because they understand themselves. To allow someone else to pleasure you, one must know how to pleasure themselves or recognize what it feels like TO be pleasured.

Furthermore, masturbation provides for a (relatively) safe method for sexual exploration, without the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Masturbation is highly associated with those who choose to follow an abstinence lifestyle while maintaining sexual sanity. The only general dangers of masturbation would be those who do it so often where it affects a normal lifestyle or where they may use objects which pose physical risks/harm when used for masturbation purposes. Masturbation often has stereotypes associated with it and perhaps that is where some of the non-acceptances of it may stem from. I’ve heard about many “jokes” about how masturbation is for guys or girls who “don’t have a person to have sex with” or for “the losers”. You will find that many people who have partners, whether dating or married, continue to masturbate. Many people who have great sex-lives masturbate and as mentioned before, it helps enhance ourselves. I know many of my girls share with me that they masturbate regularly and enjoy trying new techniques and products. Masturbation I think really encourages fostering self-love and positive body image. By opening our body to pleasure, we give ourselves opportunity to better ourselves and that is why I truly hope women take the time to explore themselves, whether they feel a sexual-drive or not, it will open the doors to a truly wonderful experience. I always want to encourage bebe to explore herself, not necessarily because I want to push her to have sex with me, but also because I feel this self-exploration will help her heart unlock and open-up when it comes to KNOWING what the feeling of touching and intimacy is supposed to feel like and what it’s all about. She likes sleeping because it feels great so I definitely hope she’ll give herself an opportunity to pleasure herself!

Female masturbation can be achieved in one of many ways, either by the most natural method of using ones hands and fingers, or objects. Younger girls because of the inaccessibility of sex toys, often use manual stimulation or stimulation by using household objects. My ex used to use a highlighter/pen, electric toothbrush and even a pocket-vibrator. Some of my girls enjoy using hand/finger stimulation because it allows us to be in-touch with our bodies in the most natural form. Since our hands and fingers are part of us, it doesn’t require us to “carry” anything extra for the purpose of masturbation and of course it is free, discrete, soundless and does not require consumables (battery). The act of touching oneself skin-to-skin is a very liberating feeling while immersing in the ecstasy of pleasure. Household objects such as cucumbers, hairbrush handles, pillows, arm-rest and such are known to be widely available to girls who do not have or do not wish to buy sex-toys. The alternative is the variety of sex toys for girls of age or those who have an older adult who are willing to buy it for them. Sex toys are generally not sold to those under 18, but an understanding sibling, friend or even parent can certainly obtain it for them and it is not illegal to USE it. As rare as the situation may come up, I would be more than happy to buy my son or daughter a sex-toy should they require. It’s a much better alternative for them to understand their bodies sexually, respect it and have a safe output for sexual needs rather than actually finding a guy/girl to satisfy their curiosity. Whatever objects are used, it is necessary to make sure it is clean/sterile and that it is respectful to the delicate vaginal/anal environment. An object which could “break” and “get lost” within your vagina/rectum is never a good idea. Preferably the object should also be “safe” for human contact, especially for internal human contact.

Females are lucky in the sense that they have so many erogenous zones, most notably nipples, vagina, clitoris and anus. Obviously it is also possible that women have erogenous zones in non-sexual parts of their bodies and ones which over the course of time I have discovered to be quite interesting. Since I don’t want to be overly revealing about the partners I’ve had, I won’t mention their “trigger points” and also because every woman is different as to what areas you can touch to get them turned on. One thing that is or should be well known is that most women require stimulation to their clitoris to reach the state of orgasm. Many women do not orgasm through direct stimulation inside their vaginal, but rather, an interconnected pleasure via their clit which causes them to “think” they receive pleasured through vaginal stimulation. While this idea may seem far-fetched since intercourse is highlighted usually by penile-vaginal insertion, I can certainly back this statement up by referencing Masters and Johnson, which states that, “Most women can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation.” Most girls growing up do not discover masturbation because they put their fingers inside themselves, but most likely as a result of a euphoric feeling when they rub themselves against an object or when washing/touching their own body. One of my girls admitted to me the reason why she even found out that she can “feel good” when rubbing that area is because she was talking to her parents one time and sat on the arms of a chair and associated that rush of good-feel with that area of her body. As far as she was concerned at the time, her vaginal area has always been described to her as her ‘private part’ and for ‘peeing’ that she was completely unaware of the sexual pleasure which it brought. With all this said, certainly vaginal stimulation can bring pleasure and orgasm, but it is known that the clitoris’ sole purpose as part of the female sexual anatomy is to bring pleasure.

Now that we understand stimulation a bit, we can proceed to talk about the most common methods of stimulating. The most common method is rubbing the clit with fingers or the hand. Alternately a popular method called “fingering” is self-explanatory, where the girl moves her fingers in and out of her vagina. When using the fingering method, it is possible to stimulate the clit with a spare finger as well, thus heightening the feeling of sexual excitement. When sexual arousal occurs, the vagina begins to self-lubricate by releasing a substance used to make insertion easier. However, those who are experiencing “dry spells” or prefer addition lubrication, some women use their own saliva or 3rd party lube to help enhance the moment. Because the anus itself is also an erogenous zone, similar rubbing or insertion action can result in arousal. One can also stimulate their nipples by rubbing it or even licking/light bites. Household products are often used to replicate the purpose of sex-toys when they’re not available/practical. Sex toys are designed to target erogenous areas in a better method than what can be achieved with manual stimulation. For instance, sex-toys may be able to reach places that our hands and fingers may not be able to reach – or – may not be able to stimulate all at the same time. Vibrators, dildos, beads and clitoral stimulators are all meant to produce pleasure either from stimulation or insertion, most often a combination of both. Some products must be held or inserted into place while others can be “worn” so that it allows for hands-free operations. Vibrators, dildos and beads are usually inserted into the vaginal and meant to hit the g-spot or “shake in place” to help push against the vaginal walls to create pleasure. Stimulators are usually held on top of erogenous zones, such as over the clit or over the nipples. Alternate toys are also created for anal use as they need to vary in size and texture as to not damage the anal cavity. If you want something that is super-discrete, the shower head is a wonderful little invention.

So why is it great for girls to masturbate? With the most obvious feeling of a great orgasm for the girl and self-exploration, it is of great benefits for your future/current partner. There are many more women who complain about not being able to orgasm than men. Even women who are married and could possibly have had years of sex, may never have actually experienced orgasm. It is very sad, not only for a partner, but even for the individual herself. Sexual response and orgasms are not things that are generally “learned” from a partner, but rather, through the person themselves. This kind of relates to the whole, “in order to love someone, you must first learn to love yourself” – a statement that I’ve tried to communicate to my bebe, without seeming rash or that I’m constantly pressuring her to do more. For me, it is all about her and wanting to encourage her to accept her body which she has been beautifully given. This type of openness if she ever achieves it will be the stepping stones for our relationship as well because it opens our eyes to the many wonders of intimacy around us, giving us but a brief moment where we can be completely unguarded and absorb the pleasures of life and the world. The moment that a girl feels orgasm reaching, the pulses of excitement and the pleasure of vaginal contractions, I cannot think of anything else but breathlessness and clarity-of-mind for the girl. Some women feel their body is something to be shy of and lots admit they have never fully undressed and looked at themselves in the mirror. If they have, even a fewer portion has allowed themselves to inspect their body and let their hands move around. For many, the only time a girl will have done something like this is perhaps to do a breast exam or health inspection, but never to truly understand oneself. This is all meant to create self-love and foster self-confidence. If a woman is barely comfortable with looking at her OWN body, how can she accept a partner looking at her? Even like last night when I touched bebe’s face or as I held her, she was much too shy to look at me or take the time to savour my touches, but rather, probably felt uncomfortable with bodily contact which she is not used to or felt self-conscious.

I remember a conversation I had with one of my god-sis and she kept on insisting about this really “hot boy” she wanted to have sex with. I asked her how much she knew about her body and she said “not a lot” and I had asked her if she ever has touched herself or looked at her body. She said the only time she does that is when she takes a shower or gets dressed and that the touching is “not sexual”. I questioned her further, asking her why she feels comfortable having sex with a guy, yet, is afraid to have even rubbed herself or felt shy about exploring her own body. She kind of blinked her eyes at me, not knowing how to answer because I posed a challenge which made her question WHY she could accept another person groping away at her body but have never done it herself. If in fact she saw masturbating or exploring herself as being disgusting or dirty, why is it any cleaner when done by someone else? In the end I’m not sure if she did end up having sex with the guy (knowing her, probably), but it was probably a question she still cannot answer!

Unlike male masturbation, female masturbation is a particular taboo subject. It almost seems like males and female masturbation frequency/discovery is on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Most males discover masturbation at an early age and continues to masturbate frequently (and notoriously during puberty) until they reach middle-age where it begins to plateau. Females tend to discover masturbation later in life and the number of older female masturbators tends to be higher. This shows that in the past generation, masturbation was not discovered until much later on for women and it isn’t until later in age where masturbation becomes an “acceptable” and “normal” thing – and seen as a “slutty” action at younger ages. It is almost “freely acknowledged” that males masturbate and with little stigma attached to it, but when a girl masturbates, it’s almost like the end-of-the-world. Masturbation for women sometimes come about “through” their first sexual experience, then knowing how wonderful it feels, they begin to explore and adopt masturbation as part of their lifestyle. I think this is contrary to what it should be, because girls should first learn to masturbate then have sex. Certainly women are supressed when it comes to masturbation and it’s such a taboo/frowned upon thing that they ignore their own sexual impulses to curtail to what society expects. Perhaps women are quite sexual too and have ‘needs’ just as guys do, but because masturbation for women isn’t as highly looked upon, they resist the urge to satisfy themselves and therefore only forcing themselves to be unresponsive and frigid. This worries me as well for bebe – because she is so conservative and ‘proper’ that I think she may even be supressing her feelings of need, whether she knows it or not. Sometimes I can see glimpses of emotions from her trying to escape and I feel touched, but then when she realizes she “lets herself out too much” she pulls back in. While this is not necessarily sexual frustration that caused this, but speaking from the viewpoint of masturbation, had she allowed herself to submit to her emotions and perhaps carnal pleasure at some point, she would be more easily receptive to listening to her emotional responses and smoothly initiate relationship advancements. Clearly said, masturbation provides more than just sexual fulfillment, but fosters personal growth in many many ways!

If you have any thoughts or questions about masturbation, female or otherwise, please feel free to comment or send me an email! I’d be happy to answer them if I can, find alternate sources or perhaps point you to the right direction.

Sexy Asian Girl and… Her Maxi Pad? LOL!

So I know this video has gone viral for a while, but really, I can’t help but have to post this because after all, I’m “Men in Menstruation”… and I’m man enough to post this.. lol! So of course, nothing beats a sexy Asian girl doing a very horny-inducing video, but then there’s something that ruins it all… or well, ruin it for most, maybe it’ll make the menstrual lovers happy, hah! 😆 This video features a girl wishing her friend (boyfriend or perhaps, crush) a happy birthday… with an interesting twist to it.

This is not porno for those who might be afraid to watch:

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And so as awesome (or as slutty, however you want to see it) as it is for this girl to be telling this guy “Kyle” about being hot and having a huge dick and how much she loves him… if your eyes didn’t focus already, there’s a used maxi pad (looks like an Always Long Super Ultra Thin) stuck to her chair. My problem here is not so much the used maxi pad since women menstruate and that’s what a pad is for – but why exactly is it stuck to the chair and furthermore, even if you DO leave your used pads lying around, why is it not rolled/folded up? I mean, what happens when she sits back? Wouldn’t the back of her shirt smear on that pad? I realize it’ll dry out quite fast when exposed to air, but then that’d still be rather unruly to have your back rub against a saturated pad and also the oxygen contact would eventually begin to emanate menstrual odour into the air. It’s not that I haven’t seen girls leave used pads in the room while waiting to throw it out, but they’ve taken a lot more care to wrap it up or at least put it in an “acceptable” place.

I’m sure this video was “just for jokes” – but if it’s not.. DAMN! 😛 Feel free to comment on why you think it’s even there in the first place, lol… all speculations welcome 😀

Canada: Possible Entry of Stayfree Thermocontrol Pads

So on Wednesday of last week, I was really running low on supplies to experiment with, so I decided to grab the “best” deal I could find at the time. I’m not even going to mention the price, because it’s pretty outrageous, but alas, it was better than getting no deal at all. Of course just to mock me even more, SDM had a 3-day sale (in which I ended up buying another pack) over the weekend JUST after I bought them during the weekday at the less-than-admirable price.

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Front)

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Front)

Although I was not very happy with the price, I did notice something unusual about the pack of pads I picked up. There was something… different about it, I could feel it when I picked it up. All of a sudden, I noticed that the pads were reduced to FOURTEEN (14) pads per pack rather than the usual SIXTEEN (16). I looked closer and although the general shape and design of the packaging stayed the same, after a moment, the difference surfaced (now you know how well I know my pads/tampons & packaging, even 2 less pads in a pack and I can feel it, lol). If you haven’t noticed by now what’s different (I suppose only the Canadians would notice), it is that they have now upgraded to the Thermo Control technology!!!

A while ago, I had emailed Johnson & Johnson regarding when they had plans to bring the new Thermo Control pads to Canada in which they replied that they did not have any set date. Although looking around on the shelves, it seems like that the Thermo Control pads by Stayfree aren’t exactly arriving “full force” yet on the shelves, just seeing a shipment to a single Rexall store already means that it’s entering the market. Many other places might not have noticeable Thermo Control pads yet since they may still be bringing in pre-ordered stock or whatever they still have left in the warehouses. Hopefully being able to get this pack of Thermo Control in Canada is an indicator that the full fledgling of Stayfree Thermo Control pads will hit Canada soon, just as how they slowly introduced the Always Extra Heavy Overnight pads very slowly.

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Top)

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Top)

In general, the “features” and “highlights” of the pad and packaging hasn’t changed, however, with the introduction of the Thermo Control technology from Stayfree, it now boasts some key points. I’m sure if they bring the full line of Thermo Control pads to Canada, bebe will also be very happy as well 🙂

The Thermo Control logo is encircled by the 3 objectives: Dry, Cool & Comfortable – along with the description that, “[Thermocontrol is] inspired by high performance athletic fabrics.” I have also mentioned that I found the amount of scenting on the Thermo Control pads are much less than the regular line of Stayfree – a thing I complained a lot about. While having looked at Stayfree Canada’s site once again, it still does not appear to be bringing in the Thermo Control lines in full yet, so maybe it’s just luck I managed to get a pack of this or maybe it really is a hint! The Canadian Stayfree site is still currently listing all the original packaging and does not advertise anything about the existence/implementation of the Thermo Control pads.

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Side)

Stayfree Overnight Ultra Thin w/ Thermocontrol (Side)

After the purchase, I immediately decided to test them and sure enough, they didn’t prove disappointing at all. The Thermo Control technology really did make the top-layer more comfortable (although unusually cool), but when it came to the overall absorbency and other properties of the pad, there didn’t seem to be much difference. Also, all the newer Overnight Ultra Thins now have a set of rear-wings as well, so you can easily tell whether you purchased old stock or new stock.

Anyways, although the price was quite expensive, I’m glad I “stumbled” to this particular Rexall that started stocking the Thermo Control pads and for this discovery. Had I purchased anywhere else, I wouldn’t have found this out since several of the stores I went to afterward still had the traditional Stayfree line up and not of the new Thermo Control. Luckily I snagged another (the LAST) bag of Stayfree Maxi Long Supers at Shoppers Drug Mart on Saturday afternoon, so it did kind of make-up for overpaying beforehand.

Looks like all we can do is hope that they start selling in-mass the Thermo Control pads here in Canada, so we can get caught up with the rest of the world when it comes to feminine hygiene 😆

(I was having some major battery issues with my digital camera and ended up taking the pictures using my iPhone 4 camera… not the greatest, but done its job!)

Menstrual Fetish or Simply Education?

So as I often wander and drift through the internet, I find myself reading forums and Q&A from sites. Having grown up as a forum-hopper as a teenager, I ran into many puberty-related resources, allowing open discussion between males and females, both questioners and moderators/professionals who provide information or intervene to make an expert opinion/diagnosis. With that said, many of these “specific” forums tend to be more positive towards questions and they’re answered with decency – or at least posts that are negative/insulting are removed/moderated. The internet is essentially “society” – just like when we’re offline and many of the same stigmas exist. Let me elaborate.

I was reading on a Q&A site and bumped into several different threads/sites which had males asking legitimate questions about menstruation. Furthermore, they did so tastefully so it was not a matter of, “Oh my god, please let me have your old pads!” – but rather, “I want to know what girls experience during their period” or “Do girls exercise during their period?” These questions appeared genuine and plus, some people might have called them “stupid questions” – but for males who never experience menstruation – how should they know any better? If they dare to post a question up of that sensitivity, surely they deserve an appropriate response. If the person reading/answering feels that they don’t want to answer, why must they feel the need to post a nasty response. Why is a male a PERVERT, a SICKO, a WEIRDO for wanting to learn about menstruation?

This situation is unfortunate, because women complain about men being ignorant or immature when it comes to menstruation. Yes, we have textbooks and we have school, but that is hardly “sufficient information about menstruation” – that is unless you happen to be in a medical field. For the general guy, simply skimming through our 1-page in the textbook during SexEd class or from the hearsay we get from guy friends (usually non-factual) harbour a very poor perception of menstruation in our minds. We’re criticized by women for being un-knowledgeable about menstruation but at the same time, we’re ALSO criticized when we want to genuinely learn about it. So what is it that women want or rather, do women just assume the information we absorb “from around us” is enough for us to have positive view of menstruation? We need brave and mature women who are willing to provide anecdotal support about their own menstrual experiences and educate men in these matters. We should not be degraded or berated for our willingness to learn – WHETHER this is a fetish or simply an interest.

As I was passing through Yahoo! Answers, it was so sad to see girls flocking down on this poor guy who made an honest question about periods. With a solid page of “answers” – most of them were either unhelpful or downright insulting towards this guy. Rather than taking the time to provide a useful answer, these girls told him off, called him names and made personal attacks – when these girls likely don’t even know this individual personally. Only a few “answers” that were posted addressed his question. What is it that women want? …Us to know about periods or us to remain immature about it and then blame us afterwards? I can understand that women might pounce on a guy who asks a question that is “highly inappropriate” – but these were all reasonable questions. Furthermore, if these women didn’t feel comfortable replying, why even post to yell at this poor guy who is trying to LEARN?

How do we separate the fetishists from the learners or is there that gray-area in between it? To understand a fetish, let’s take a look at the definition of it:

fetish  fet·ish (fět’ĭsh, fē’tĭsh)
n.

  1.  Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
  2.  An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment.

Fetishes are usually not-harmful by nature. For instance, I love menstruation, but I don’t think I’ve ever “hurt” anyone as a result of my interests. At the same time, am I a fetishist or am I a learner? Menstruation IS related to a “sexual part of the body” (opposed to the definition of a fetish being a “non-sexual” part) – closely associated to the vagina, but is not a “part” itself. Likewise, it “may become necessary for sexual gratification” – and luckily for me, I haven’t hit that point where I feel menstruation is so deeply rooted in me where I can’t become sexually aroused without periods/feminine hygiene on my mind. Easy example is that I can easily become sexually excited just thinking about bebe – absence of her period or any products related to it. If someone DID label me as having a menstrual fetish, I also wouldn’t deny it, as I do have that border of “interest” and “excitement” – but nor would I agree 100% since it is the initial desire to learn more about menstruation where it later developed into a sexual-interest.

What though, separate fetishes over menstruation as it does to other ones – ones that people deem more “common” or even “acceptable”? In the world of men, I’m sure many of us wouldn’t deny that a good bra and panty would excite us. It seems like when guys talk about panties, it is pretty acceptable we think about it – but panties are a “non-sexual item” by nature and therefore, would be considered a fetish. Why is it “ok” for a man to have a fetish for an inanimate object, such as female underwear – but NOT ok when it comes to feminine hygiene products or a woman’s period? My ex used to always tease me by leaving some of her bras and panties on her bed so that I’d see them or she’s ask me to pick out for her what to wear underneath. However, my excitement was not necessarily the object itself, but the association. When I think about panties, I don’t get particularly excited. When I think about bebe’s panties or bras, they’re exciting because they’re HERS and the association is with her beauty and body. The other day, I was graced by seeing bebe’s panties/bra while I helped her pack and I was excited – only because she wears them and not so much the “item itself” and therefore the association with it being SEXY is based on her connection with them. So now, do I have a fetish for her panties or do I have a fetish for her? (The answer is obvious, LOL)

I have to say, there’s only been a handful of times I’ve ever felt bad about my interest in menstruation. I’ve received much praise and kudos for my dedication and commitment to being a positive male role model for menstruation. I’m sure many of my readers know my passion is probably have driven by fetish and half by knowledge – but still, does it really matter? I see so many of these poor guys who should have their curiosity fostered and to be able to engage in professional dialogue with a woman who is willing to answer their inquiries. If they pose a question and they’re hoarded by women berating him, what kind of attitude does that suggest? It suggests that men “do not need to know” or in fact “should NOT know” about menstruation and thus, we become negative towards menstruation through our experiences of being ridiculed. These poor male children, tweens or teens (and possibly even adult men) who make a genuine attempt at learning about menstruation will never ask a question about it again if they’re shot-down, what will they say to future generation of guys? Luckily for me, I have the support of many of my girls and even more proud of my girlfriend who is slowly opening up to me about her period and is willing to answer my questions to her. You have no idea how much that has changed my attitude towards her and how blessed/appreciative I feel over her openness in menstruation to me, especially because she’s not easy to pry information from, especially those of such sensitivity. Although it seems weird to take pride in your girlfriend’s period – I certainly do!

For all the men reading this, please find a woman whom you are comfortable with, trust and is willing to share her menstrual knowledge with you. For the women who read this, please extend your hand/knowledge of menstruation to willing-men around you… for this society has much to learn and crush the taboo of menstruation! If you suspect the guy is learning about menstruation because he as a fetish for it… why does it matter to you anyways? If you’re able to change the way another person views menstruation positively, educationally or otherwise, you’ve done a great job! And also… don’t assume anything about the guy when he’s asking a question – not all of us are cross-dressers, transsexuals or the-like 😛

U by Kotex Cleanwear Heavy Flow Pads (Pictures & Blurb)

Since I’ve already done a review on the Kotex All-Nighter Pads before, I’m not going to review something too similar. Below are some pictures of the U by Kotex Cleanwear Heavy Flow Pads for your reference and interest. This pad is essentially a “smaller” version of the overnight UbK pad-series. Having seen lots of “heavy” or “super” length pads, I found the UbK one to actually be quite short. When I tested this one, I found that the top layer is even more comfortable than the all-nighter one because it has a bit of “padding” yet not so thick as to make it intrusive or annoying. Furthermore, it stands up to quite a large amount of fluid while maintaining a dry top-layer. The “absorption” is clearly visible from the bottom, thus you can gauge how well it can absorb even the heaviest of flows, especially because the pad becomes quite “heavy” (weight wise) afterward, so you can tell it’s definitely capable of providing quality protection.

Suffice to say, this pad actually made me “reconsider” the UbK line of pads since I kind of got turned off by them due to the price and that it wasn’t “up to the expectation” I once had set out for it. Giving the Cleanwear one another chance, I definitely can see its merits now and I am impressed with my overall experience with this one. When I tested the all-nighter version, the “hype” was there, but overly impressed, I was not. On the other hand, this Cleanwear one I actually like more, even though I would wager the design is highly similar, at just a lesser size. I really like the UbK Cleanwear Heavy Flow pad, so if you’re not interested in trying their super-long-huge all-nighter one, this one might be a great alternative to try out!

All the above pictures are “clickable” for a higher-resolution version.

Since this isn’t a full-out review, if you have any questions/comments in regards to this pad (or well, anything on the site really), feel free to let me know and ask away here so that others may benefit from the answers as well! However, should you want more privacy or whatnot, feel free to email me as well.

What Do You Do When…

So really, what do you do when you have an irresistible partner? LOL. I wish someone could answer that for me before I kill myself, haha. I think every time I lay my eyes on bebe now, I feel like I want to jump on top of her. I wouldn’t call it horny because it’s not like that, more like… the Chinese expression 肉緊 (I’m not sure what the English expression would be because literally, it means “tight meat” LOL!) I admit I’m more of the touchy-feely type of person, I feel that “draw” of physical intimacy when I’m near someone I care about and this doesn’t have to do just with romantic-partners, but even family, parents or whatever. Sometimes I just feel the need to give my mom/dad a hug or a goodnight kiss or something – I’m just the affectionate type and I’m totally ok with showing it, doesn’t make me feel like I’m a sissy or anything. This world has gone too far with the whole, “to be a man, you have to be macho, tough and show no feelings.” So if anyone can help me suppress that physical affection of mine for bebe, feel free to tell me 😆

I woke up with a deadly headache yesterday morning and it was shit, especially because bebe and I planned on going out. I tried to relax myself to see if the headache went away, made myself a coffee, relaxed on the couch and used my massage chair. I feel asleep on the massage chair and woke up as bebe messaged me on my phone telling me to go over at 4. It was already 3:20 then and she told me she was going back to sleep because she was tired. Being the (cough) great boyfriend I am 😀 I purposely diddly-daddlied around the house, went to the bank,  get gas, etc. before arriving at her house and not arriving at her house until well after 4:30 so she could get some extra sleep. After I got there, I found out she had already slept BEFORE she called me (she had went out for lunch), I felt so 好心着雷劈 (Chinese expression for something along the lines of “Being punished for having a good heart”) for wanting to give her extra sleep time. It’s not like she yelled at me for it, but more of the fact I wasted an extra hour I could’ve been with her thinking she needed extra sleep. It’s not her fault, just that I was trying to be too considerate I guess, bleh!

Bebe was in the bathroom (SEXY, lol) when I got over so her brother opened the door for me. I greeted him and all I got was a grunt as a reply, lol (I see where bebe gets it from… HAHAHA) – weirdest reply ever, so I just ignored him and went upstairs 😛 Guess he was going through some male-PMS or something. Her brother has always been at least polite every time I’ve talked to him, so I forgive him for his unusual rudeness, haha. I finally did it for the VERY FIRST TIME…. but I brought shorts over to bebe’s house to wear because she doesn’t like it when I bring “outside pants” and sit on her bed (very logical). I also left my shorts there as a sign of territory claim, lol. You know, men still have very animalistic nature inside them, LOL. If I leave my shorts there, it’s making a point to all other guys entering her room that she’s taken and someone is watching out for her… or if you prefer a, “Stay the fuck away from my bebe!” statement 😀 I can’t wait until bebe starts leaving stuff at my house, harhar. I heard that women apparently do that too and when they want to “claim their man” – they leave their most intimate things around, like panties, bras, maxi pads/tampons (yes, I’ve read this, not making this shit up) so that other women know that “this guy is no longer available” hah.

I had brought a movie over and my “hope” was that I would just lie there and watch the movie with her and she’d go back to sleep. Well, it failed because she stayed awake the whole movie, LOL. I was hoping she’d fall asleep with me so I could put my arms around her shoulder and pull her head in to me. I wasn’t planning to “take advantage” of her or something (well other than that) – just wanted to have a nice cozy feeling. Nevertheless, although we didn’t quite get to do that, laying on her bed snuggled up with her was a really nice feeling. She did sit rather far (blah), so not sure whether that was just to leave room or whether she still feels the need for that “gap”. I’m honestly terrible when it comes to over-analyzing things. Since she was on the “outside” of the bed, it was much easier for her to steal glances at me, but I caught a few glances of her and my heart totally melted, thinking SHE is the beautiful girl I’m going to spend my life with, just like this, lying together on the bed every night. I couldn’t help but feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world, I wanted to roll over and just kiss bebe on the neck (WANTED, not that I did) and pour my heart’s love out to her. The feeling was just amazing being next to her, although I wish we were a bit “closer”… shared a pillow, actually had some body-contact or under the same blankets, but hey, it’s a start! My plans of her falling asleep didn’t work though, ick, haha! After the movie, she said something really cute and I just hugged her from behind because she was adorable. Her body had a “half accepting” “half rejecting” type feeling, so I definitely can’t complain. At least she doesn’t FULLY reject my touch anymore, so I was happy. Unfortunately, even though she told me wasn’t “uncomfortable” – I could tell she wasn’t “totally” comfortable with it either. Body language is very obvious and not as subvert as people think and our bodies often tell much more than we know or are willing to say. When you get a hug, you usually feel “receiving” and whether you return it is one thing, but part of your body movement tells how much you REALLY want it. When I held her even for a bit, I could feel that it was “ok” for her, but she also wasn’t ready to “embrace” my hold and I could still feel her body trying to escape (although not through anger/discontent, but still not ‘acceptance’). I let go quickly since I had already tested my limits and knew when to call it quits, haha. It was such a warm feeling though and I could feel that we can at least have some contact now.

We fooled around in the house after since she was wide-awake (not that type of fooling, I wish, lol) and then I was getting super hungry so I hinted to get something to eat. While we were looking for stuff, I had put my leg close against her. Again, you could claim I’m taking advantage of the situation, but I just like physical contact and it wasn’t like I was touching her boobs or something. I just put my leg close enough against her where we could feel each other, but not to be “intrusive.” A couple of times she shifted and I wasn’t sure if it was to avoid me pushing up against her or whether it was just natural body movement. Either way, she let me keep my leg there for quite a while, so I’d assume she just moved so her body wouldn’t become stiff. I hadn’t eaten since 11AM, so it was already 8PM then and I could feel myself dying 😛 I grabbed something to eat without asking (oops, lol, I kind of treat it like my house now, haha) just so I wouldn’t pass out. I asked her if she wanted to go out for a drive and then grab something to eat. Her driving is improving and it sucks that the past 2 times we’ve gone out, it has been evening/night-time, so I find she’s a lot more conscientious about night-driving, so it tends to be slower – to the point where it might annoy people behind her, lol. I’m not saying this is a fault, more like she just needs to “get used to it” and she’s lucky she doesn’t run into any drivers like me who think she’s too slow, cut her off and give her the middle finger 😆 Plus, I think she’s still on the whole “test-behaviour” since she literally goes the exact limit… 90, she goes 90, heh. I’m not saying I’m right for going faster, but she’ll learn to move “with traffic flow” soon! Parking ins/outs in tight spaces is the one part I’d probably ask her to improve on because she gets AWFULLY close to other people’s cars when she backs up and she doesn’t even realize that there’s probably a “finger” left of space in between. I need to get that parking sensor thing for her soon.

We had Korean food, very yummy and I couldn’t imagine finding a place of this quality where we live. I’ll definitely be visiting again and I even told my mom about it. The price was fantastic and while I didn’t “fill myself up to the max” – I definitely got the money/food worth. I ended up paying while she went to the washroom and she came back to tell me she was thinking of paying tonight, lol. My dad always had this funny thing about people who like to “go pee” right before the bill comes 😛 and I don’t think bebe did that on purpose, since I’ve already gotten used to her washroom habits, but I remember my dad would always yell and my mom and I if we left before the bill came because it’d look like we “expected” the other party to pay for us as well by obligation. My dad was the type to always be aware of mannerisms because of how big our family is, you never want to appear as if you just happen to “go to the washroom” at that time and someone else would end up covering it for you (and naturally, wouldn’t take your money back). In my views, since bebe and I are a “couple” it doesn’t really matter who’s pocket it comes out of as long as we’re spending reasonably. MAYBE I’m just crazy 😆 hah.

As bebe falls for me more and more, I find myself falling head-deep into her. We are… a couple, there’s nothing she can deny anymore, LOL. She could make this sound like a “casual relationship” if she wanted to, but everyone can see more than that 😆 It’s also good because everyone around us seemed to just have accepted it. My mom and all my friends all simply refer to her as “my girlfriend” so they don’t think it’s just a “seeing each other” thing anymore 😛 Even though her friends probably don’t refer to me as bebe’s boyfriend, I’m sure they probably think that anyways XD Anyways, I can feel us coming together so it’s a really nice feeling. I’m starting to put those barriers down and such. Also, I’m also feeling less and less inclination to track bebe now. I know myself well enough to have said before that once I feel close enough and trusting enough of her motives/actions and feel that she’s “responsible towards me” that I would no longer feel the need to snoop. This is true as most of the things I used to do, I don’t do anymore. The other day she was prodding at me for “hacking” but it’s not even CLOSE to what I do to track her XD She has no idea how I do it and she doesn’t need to.. well it doesn’t matter even if she knew how I did it anyways, since I no longer need to do that. She’s definitely being more considerate of my feelings about keeping-in-touch regularly, so then she’s fulfilled her part of the deal and I fulfill my part of the deal by not snooping.

During the dinner she also told me about the thing that’s been bothering her all this time. I guess my second hunch was correct after analyzing the things I read/saw. It was just nice to know what the problem is because I was annoyed at the fact that I should be the one that she “tells everything to” or at least shares her ups/downs with me. You know the say, “for better, or for worse” and it’s true.. I share all my happy AND unhappy moments with her because it’s reality. Again, last night, we truly connected in every way, shape or form. The things we can talk about now is much more relaxed and open. We can also better understand each other and be respectful of each others conversation topics. I’m sure there were a couple of times during the night I said something “inappropriate” but she still played along with it. That’s the whole thing about a relationship, tolerance and naturalization. In her mind, something that comes out of my mouth might not be “what I like” and vice-versa, so we learn just to enjoy what we say to each other within discrimination and just go along with it – in the end, it saves an argument and we both smile. I made some sexual prods at her (half serious, half joking), and it was just funny – it  as not meant to put her into an uncomfortable situation or make myself seem lecherous. I also mentioned about “going to a hotel and sleep in separate beds” with her (because it seems silly to pay for 2 rooms…) later on in the year just to relax and although she didn’t exactly say, “Hey that sounds great!” least she wasn’t like, “Hell no!” either. I’m sure by then I can gauge the comfort-level and if she still doesn’t seem ok with it, I’m not going to push it – it’s not like I set a “time limit” on it. However, if at that time we can share the room together, then it’d be a nice relaxing weekend for us. At least when it comes to relationship things, bebe no longer thinks “no” or “impossible” or “maybe” – but rather “in time” which makes me EXTREMELY happy. I can deal with looking at a situation and saying it’ll take time, but I was frustrated when everything that came from her was a negative, “no, impossible, never, maybe” vocabulary – because now we both believe it will happen.

In terms of physical contact, honestly, I can’t even TELL you how grateful of the advancements we have made. I’m not the one who was uncomfortable with it, so ALL the credits go to her for making those feelings surface. This is all HER doing and I’m totally appreciative of that – because there’s nothing I can do to make her feel comfortable, all this is her initiative, self-power and perseverance. This is also the reason why I “reward her” a lot and give her encouragement, because I know this takes a LOT of effort from her to reach this point. I want to support her, but I also know what I can do is limited because this is much more of a “her struggle” more than my struggle. I’m a physically-comfortable person, while she is not… even with her girl-friends they’re still not the touchy-type. For her to accept my touches or at least be “ok with them” shows great commitment on her part to this relationship. Some have said I spoil bebe, but really, she spoils me too by putting so much into this that I can’t feel that I’d want to give her anything other than the best.

It wasn’t until I got home that I shouldn’t have chosen the particular shorts I bought over. They’re a “light material” and that’d be problematic if I ever had an erection, LOL. I guess I don’t really get hard in front of bebe, mostly because it’s a self-control and respect thing for her. As much as I think she’s sexy and stuff, I know she wouldn’t be comfortable knowing that I could sexually excited in front of her, so I have enough respect for that not to get hard. At the same time, I also wouldn’t be super-embarrassed though if I did get one and she saw it. The reality is she’s shy and all, but I also don’t think she doesn’t know ANYTHING about “natural reactions”… if it happens, it happens -woopidoo! Plus, it’s not like she won’t see my penis one day anyways, lol. This date, I also spent more time looking at her body… it’s so yummy 😀 I found some “excuses” to touch her/poke her, haha – see the reason why I do that is because I know if there’s a ‘reason’ at least it wouldn’t be discomforting and stuff. If I were to randomly tell her, “I want to touch your arm” – then she’d probably have a problem with that, haha. I hope she’ll let me just randomly touch her soon, I’m starting to feel really edgey 😆 and I don’t even mean groping her at private places, I just like sometimes putting my hands on her just as a sign of affection and assurance. Her body is so wonderful so that’s why she should share it with me, haha! She’s an excellent flirter and it scares me where she gets that experience from 😛

A great night either way… the hugs, still quicker than I’d like it to end and I would hold on to her longer, but when I feel her “pushing away” then I definitely wouldn’t want to just grab on and not let go – that’d be rude. At the same time, I also hope that we spend more time embracing each other and it’s not necessary just “when I leave” that we do that. Either way, another happy night minus my killer headache. I had been thinking how pitiful it is that I will probably miss her period again this coming week or something and then ended up with a bad-dream about bebe. When I woke up, I was so glad it was a dream because that dream was definitely not a nice one! I went to the washroom and splashed my face with water to make sure I was awake, because most of the dreams I have about bebe are always good. I guess I’ve been too annoyed with this whole, “catching her on her period” thing that’s been sending my temper off a bit. I should suppress those thoughts and annoyance though before I get angry or something. She’s trying to make this relationship work so I shouldn’t be pressuring her about being open with me about it, but I just can’t believe how much luck is so rotten that with all the times we’ve been out, not a single time she’s been around when she’s on 😐 BLAH.

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