Can’t spare the time for a big update right now, especially because I have to sleep early as a result of going to my (soon ending) week-long conference! I’m so excited about this horrid week ending, although with one more caveat, a stupid teeth-cleaning on Monday. One would like to think this is a “good thing” – but I hate the pain of going to the stupid dentist. It’s not that I dislike his profession or the guy as a person, but more of what he “does” 😆 Once Tuesday of next week hits, I’ll be home-free and I’m happy! After that, it’ll be mommy’s birthday which I’ve already reserved tickets for us at the Fallsview Casino Theatre to watch a nice show. I wish bebe was around, I’d love to take her to something like that… you know, the more “grown up” stuff – haha.
Although this week has been tough and tomorrow is the “big day” where we’re given 9 test systems, completely unknown and we have to break into them, it will provide to be an exciting challenge. I have been very lucky to be given permission to drive the 407 (Express Toll Route) which reduces my drive time to Mississauga by about 1.25-1.5 hours.. otherwise it’d probably take 2-3 hours. Also, the company is reimbursing us for our food as well and I must say, I’ve been spoiling myself on some good food and stuff 😛 although the pain of it all is that our lunch is an uncomfortable 1-hour long only…. so we’re rushing a lot while eating, especially if it’s not the fast-food type.
I was talking to my coworker who came with me and he mentioned his wife said that he’ll realize how lucky we are with our job after enduring this. Many people do this daily, do a 1-2 hour drive (pretty typical in Ontario) to work, work a FULL day (8+ hours) and do another 1-2 drive home. The 1-2 hour drive usually consists of stopping-and-going and lots of people cutting in-and-out. Although the drive itself is long, it much more comfortable when you’re in moving traffic – but that is not the case, it is very annoying to deal with rush-hour traffic. Getting down one street in Mississauga where I can SEE the highway on-ramp is like a solid 20 mins moving one car after another trying to sneak past the traffic light before it turns red. I must admit, going to our work now seems so easy, relaxing and we learned to appreciate the fact we get great hours, great benefits, great pension, decent pay and a nice drive – many of which, Ontarians or even Canadians as a whole don’t get such comparable working conditions! You know what? My workplace treats me pretty damn right!
On the first day there, I felt so out of place. After all, most of the people there were likely to be my seniors, people with 10, heck, maybe even 20 years of industry-related experience. I felt like the “odd one out” who couldn’t say I did “X job for ___ years” and worried they may look down on me. After about a day and we began to meet fellow attendees, it was such a relief. I was not with people who considered themselves ‘better’ than me, but I was amongst professionals and friends – people who did not consider themselves superior, but were here with one objective in mind – to learn. When we had breaks and went for lunch, everyone spoke to each other as if we had known each other all along.. I was with my peers. We shared information, some stuff that I know well and they shared what they knew well. It was an excellent exchange of information – showing that no matter how little or how much experience you have in your field, you will never know everything. My fears went away.
I will say, being the first time to attend a “prestigious” conference hosted in a hotel, I felt extra spectacular. There were an absence of paper towels in the washroom as they were replaced with nice, silky-smooth towels for drying your hands. Everything, minus the door, was all automated. When I we walked past the front desk, it was, “Good morning Mr. _____” – damn, it felt good! I must say, I dressed a bit nicer than my usual work attire, although still sans suit since no one else dressed that preppy. As the conference comes to an end, I’ll miss the opportunity to exchange knowledge with the attendees and speaker, but will cherish the short 5 days we had together (as grueling as it is). I will miss the luxuries of the hotel, the “management” lifestyle (expenses paid, talking to “high-level” people, everyone driving nice cars), being provided with unlimited (non-alcoholic) drinks throughout the day and just the feeling of pure professionalism. It’s no wonder people strive to move up within their careers, not only for money, but because of the prestige!
I know period content has been very little lately, but I found AND READ this amazing article and highly encourage everyone to read it… it’s essentially talking about the “power of menstruation” or rather more specifically, the menstrual cycle. The study did a comparison of lap-dancer’s nightly income based on where they were within their menstrual cycle, showing that they made the most in their most “fertile days.” It is interesting to note that there is potential that men are more 1) protective, and 2) attracted to women who are actively fertile. Furthermore, it shows that women who use the pill or similar contraceptive ‘make less’ as compared to their “naturally menstruating” females. To be honest, bebe has never dared share with me when we went on dates whether she was on her period, LOL, but I can say there were certain dates we’ve been on where I felt “closer” to her than others… not that I can claim I was ever felt “distant” either 😀 With ex’s though, there are times when I’ve felt unusually “excited” over them, hehe.
The article is entitled Ovulatory cycle effects on tip earnings by lap dancers:
economic evidence for human estrus? ☆
Geoffrey Miller⁎, Joshua M. Tybur, Brent D. Jordan
Department of Psychology, University of New Mexico
It is a small-print, double-column, 7-page analysis.
Also, there’s a small excerpt by PopSciBlog regarding the results of this paper…
New Study: Fertile Strippers Make More Money
According to a story published this month in Psychology Today, UNM psychologist Geoffery Miller and his colleagues “tapped the talent at local gentlemen’s clubs” and counted the tips they made during various phases of their menstrual cycles. Dancers who weren’t on the pill made about $70 an hour during peak fertility, versus about $35 while menstruating and $50 in between. Girls who took birth control averaged about $37 an hour with no performance peak.
The researchers attribute the fluctuations in average hourly income to behavioral and physical changes that occur during a woman’s monthly cycle: ie., the strippers were more flirtatious and sexual during the times when they were most likely to conceive. Or, you know, maybe they were bloated and cranky and didn’t feel like dancing during the other times.
My favorite part of the article has got to be this quote:
“Birth control could lead to many thousands of dollars lost every year…. If you’re a woman in any service-industry job looking to maximize your tips, Miller suggests scheduling more shifts for the phase right before ovulation: ‘It might help to know about this so that you can exploit these effects.'”
But the true moral of this story, naturally, is to use your grant money wisely. Think of all the lap dances those research dollars could buy! —Megan Miller
So the other day I was at a place… not going to mention where and couldn’t help but take a picture of what I saw in the back of the washroom stall. This is NOT a co-ed bathroom, strictly male so I had no idea why they’d want to alert us to “wrap & put sanitary napkin […] into the garbage” as if that would be a common occurrence 😛 But yes, for those guys and girls who don’t know… flushing sanitary napkins, a.k.a pads is NOT a good idea.
For those still interested in Tiger Woods albiet his sex scandal and fiasco, it turns out that he’s a fan of menstrual sex. Even if he wasn’t a ‘fan’ per se… at the very least he didn’t have a problem with it. Also, for those who have information on a feminine hygiene company distributing products under the name Private- Sanita, please let me know because a Malaysian girl-friend of mine asked me about it and I only had some minor knowledge about them. Hopefully someone will be able to inject some extra knowledge/background for me about this brand.
That’s all for now, gotta head to bed for one last day of this conference… and also happens to be the most challenging one! Cheers and enjoy.
After many long conversations with friends and loved-ones yesterday, I’ve finally decided to take a new plan of action and start taking control of my life – or well, at least things that I can decide upon. Ever since high-school, I’ve had a fairly bad self-image physically of myself. Through a combination of poor diet, lack of exercise and sedentary lifestyle lead me to lose my boyish good-looks and fit body. Yes, that is right, I was a cross-country runner, track-and-field participant, sprinter, cyclist, tennis-player, basketball-player, volleyball-player the list could go on.. I was always out, never at home. So anyways, of course paired with puberty, I grew… both upwards AND sideways. I’ve told myself, that I will forbid my (future) kids from ever eating cafeteria food as that just compounded the problem. I wanted to “fit in” – not be the kid who always packed a lunch and that’s what screwed me today. Nevertheless, I went from being the guy that all the girls wanted to “hang out with after school” and “wanted to invite to the school dance” to the fat Asian kid. It was traumatizing.
Even currently, the shame and self-doubt sticks with me. I admittedly for the past years, been a person who lacked self-confidence, physically, about myself. Many older women have a thing for me, but not ones my age or younger. Ones who have their own children always want to set me up with their daughter(s). In fact, one of the ladies at work brought her 3 daughters into work when my dad was still alive and asked him to bring me in (before I worked there) so I could “get to know” her daughters. Unfortunately, all 3 of those girls were considerably older than me and things wouldn’t work out. Many of the “moms” see me as a great guy, but I see myself as this fat, ugly Asian guy. Over so many years, I’ve been used to rejection from girls because I just didn’t look good enough.
As of Saturday, October 16th 2010, I stand by myself that I need to re-evaluate my own perception. Given that so many people have such a positive view of me, both personality and those who do admire my manly and handsome look – I question myself how I can’t even get over myself. For the past while, my anguish of lack-of-self-confidence was deepened by my receding hairline and thinning hair. For the past year I’ve worried, had nightmares and cried over my changes in hair growth, a once lush-head full of hair. I’ve had enough of this shit and I’ll tell you why. The lack of self-confidence really damages me. Confidence has an aura of its own. Truth be told, I know a guy who weighs 60lbs more than me, is not even as fit as I am, is not particularly “attractive” and man, the girls he pulls in is amazing. I ask myself how.
How can a guy who doesn’t meet what most women would consider to be their “physical criteria” have such attraction? Don’t lie to yourself. The first time you saw your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/significant other, the first thing you looked at was his/her body and face… don’t even bullshit about it. My friend, he’s a confident man. He acts like he’s good looking and it WORKS. His confidence in himself and his willingness to not see a girl being “out of his league” amazes me. I’m a bit self-aware… I date girls or will chase after girls who “match” with me. I won’t go for a girl who is too low or too high in social status. I won’t go for a girl who is too unpretty or too pretty. I won’t go for a girl who is in a career where it puts my career to shame. The list could go on, but I never try to “overextend” myself is what I’m trying to get at. I know what I have to offer and of course I’d look for a girl who isn’t miles ahead of me – because I’d be setting myself to be crushed.
For the past few months as my hair began to recede, I became not only sad, but annoyed. I think for 2 weeks, I couldn’t even bare looking at myself in the mirror. Every time I looked, I’d subconsciously glance at my hair too. It’s thinning – there’s no doubt. The last time I got a hair cut, my bangs were down past my eyes. This time, my bangs were only down to my eyebrows and wasn’t as thick as last time. I’m so fucking tired of it. I will say, I respect the fact bebe likes hair – most girls do. I understand that having hair makes you appear younger and physically attractive. However, my hair loss isn’t something I desire and it’s already hard enough as it is. For her to tell me she “really wants hair on me” hurts a lot – a whole fucking lot. That’d be like me telling her you need to shave your armpits (whether that’s true or not, I don’t know.. I never bothered looking, it was just an example). People grow hair, not grow hair or lose hair, regardless of where on their body because it’s their body-at-work, not a choice. I love my hair, I do and I wouldn’t want to be without it, but I also don’t want that being held against me. I love bebe for who she is, not because of “portions” of her.
Today, I am a brand new me and I’ve already seen the effects of it. Allowing myself to let my confidence show has made my day amazing. Last night, I decided I had enoguh with dealing with my hair and all the negativity surrounding the way I looked. Yesterday, I went to Lundy’s Lane in Niagara Falls and had a make-over. I stocked my closet with some new clothes, both casual and business-suitable attire. I can flip between a “young and trendy look” to a “smart, professional, clean look” by mixing and matching. Fashion helps change a person’s appearance immensely. I woke up in the morning looking at my mushroom-hair on my head and got my hair cut short. No, it’s not quite like a buzz-cut or even anything close to a “shave” – it’s just trimmed, short and SEXY. Yes, that’s right, I called myself sexy for the first time in ages because I FELT it. I left the hair stylist with new cut, the first time ever that I’ve let someone “take full control” on my head. She did a fantastic job. I got home to change as I was scheduled to meet a bunch of friends for lunch. I finally dared to look myself in the mirror today – the style fits my head so well – doesn’t make me look like I’m losing hair and fits my face. Shit, who’s that nice guy staring back at me in the mirror? I felt charged. It has been so long since I’ve stared at the mirror in self-confidence. I feel like a new me. Today – I am not ugly, I am an attractive young man, hoping to win the hearts of girls (ok well I lied, just girl 😛 bebe… lol).
Where does confidence come from? Not from others, but yourself. I haven’t smiled in quite a while as I walked around. Shit be told, the act of feeling confident is almost as good as looking like a model. When my friends and I hit the mall afterward, I seriously swear I strutted as I walked. I had so much confidence and assurance in myself that I didn’t feel shy or self-aware. When my friends and I were trying on some clothes, I talked to some of the girls who stood around waiting to change and even the salesgirl. I glowed, I really did. I didn’t feel as if I wasn’t “good enough” to speak to them, her and I were just the same -a human being, no judgments. There were maybe some exchanges of implied compliments and it was nice. It was nice not to feel ugly and whether I am or not – that wasn’t the point, my appearance and aura of self-confidence was enough to make a girl smile. I suddenly realized how my friend gets the girls… just not worrying about oneself is golden, because a girl can tell apart of a man with confidence from one who does not. As unattractive physically as a man with confidence may be, it’s not any better for an attractive man with no confidence.
I am truly happy today because after a very engaging talking with family and friends, I decided I need to change my approach to myself. I am a good guy, I’m a guy deserving of a sweet girl, I’m professional, I’m handsome, I’m intelligent and I’m interesting. I need to drop my “I’m not good enough”attitude because I actually am good enough. I’m a respectful human being and I should treat myself and others as such. I am not any “better” nor any “worse” than the next guy. I am born with a “normal” body, I have all 5-sense intact, I am healthy and I have a mind which can think and a heart which can love. I am in fact, luckier than many individuals on the face of the planet who have been unfortunately deprived of these things. I am a fortunate person and I should take advantage of the fact I am blessed with this. I need to learn to be satisfied, but at the same time, strive to do better. I am now full-out concentrated on improving my self-image, confidence and continue chasing after bebe. She’s no longer going to set me back by saying she wants a guy with hair, because I’m going to make a stand. She can’t just make it the center-of-attention in our relationship – I need to make it clear to her I care about her for who she is and she really needs to get over these physical things which we can’t control. One day, she will lose figure, her beautiful body won’t be there, her hair will turn white, but guess what? I WILL STILL, love her the same way I do now, if not only stronger. I guess some people saw me as being a bit weak, that I let too many things that bebe “wants” affecting me and hurting my self-image and confidence. Today I’m rising to say that despite what she “wants” or “desires” I’m going to display myself as an upstanding and handsome individual deserving of her love – because I will return the same to her.
I’m going to wake up tomorrow, refreshed, happy, satisfied and strong. It’s going to be a long week as I’m involved in an intensive 5-day course out in Mississauga. It’s 9 hours every day, just session time, and about 1 1/2 hours of driving each way (due to traffic). It has been almost 2 months since she’s left and there’s still 4 more to go. However, I will wait for her because my heart tells me she’s the right girl. There are some things and some people who are worth fighting and waiting for – and she’s one of them. They’ll be lots of competition and lots of courting to happen. I need to reassure her I am good enough for her and that she can feel secure with me. There’s probably a lot of doubt in her mind about whether we will truly get along in a relationship and what the course of her life is and whether she’s doing the right/wrong thing by committing herself to me. I need her to know that just because she may not date other guys or have been in relationships before, that doesn’t mean she’s “missed out” but rather, won the lottery on the first try and that she doesn’t have to go through the pains of a long-term relationship break-up! I want her to know I’m prepared to be a part of her family and friends and that I will represent “us” in good nature.
I stand strong. I cannot allow others to damage my confidence and belief in myself. I am a capable person. I need to allow my image to change and reflect the person who I really am. I need to accept and appreciate positive comments from others. I need to believe their words more than I believe mine. If a girl says I am good looking, I will smile, thank her, and believe in it – not doubt her or think that she’s saying it with an ulterior motive or sarcasm. When someone says “you are a nice guy” to me, I will think, “Hey ya, I’m a pretty nice guy.” I need to STOP with this lack of self-confidence. The only way to make others believe in me is to believe in myself first and foremost. To allow a girl to feel secure with me, I have to be secure of myself. To show I’m not a wussy and that I am a MAN, I do need to not allow bebe’s words harm my image of myself just because I don’t have a full-set of hair. I asked many of my married friends, what if today, your husband or wife changed in appearance, what would you do? All of them without a thought said it’d make no difference. This is what I want bebe to see… me, not of the outer shell, but the inner-heart. This is also what I see of her… not the outer shell, but the inner beauty. It’s unfair for me to compare to her to others because every person has their strengths and weaknesses, where they glow and where they fall short. I think any girl I’ve been with will have a very tough time matching the same physical beauty as my ex-ex “L”… she is the most physically attractive girl I’ve ever truly known (celebrities don’t count, I don’t “know” them). I used to use L as my standard for girls. Every girl henceforth needs to at least be as hot/cute as L, otherwise they’re not worth my time. Suffice to say, you cannot take one girl and compare it to another, it’s just not damn fair. Suffice to say, just because one day when bebe compares me to another husband/boyfriend of one of her friends who may be more attractive or has more hair than me, doesn’t make me any worse of a person! When people ask me what bebe look like, I tell them that she is an extremely beautiful woman because that’s what she is to me. I do not say, “Oh, compared to ____ she’s not as ____” There’s no need to compare and yes, the grass will always be greener on the other side. Be satisfied and you will achieve happiness.
Shit, I gotta get sleeping now so I can meet my coworkers at the car-pool. Blog updates might be a bit sketchy for the week. Will bid you all a good night 🙂 Confidence > ALL!
Looks like I might spend some extra time in the mirror tomorrow smiling and saying, “Ohhhhh ya, just like the old days – handsome me!”
So of course when I saw this article pop up on MSN after logging out of my Hotmail, I could not help but want to read it and see what it’s all about…:
By Maura Kelly
Blogger ponders the ethics of the great love divide
A certain romantic conundrum has been on my brain for a while:
Isn’t it unethical — or at least kind of mean … or at least a little deceptive — to date a guy if I can tell he likes me more than I like him?
At least one of my friends thinks it is. If I ever say anything like, “Yes, that dude I met through OkCupid is pretty cool, and he seems to totally dig me, but I’m not sure I see it lasting any longer than three months, if that,” my friend will come back with, “It’s not fair of you to string him along! You should either break it off or let him know that you might feel less serious than he does.”
And because I think my friend is mostly right — and because that is CERTAINLY the kind of advice I give him when the roles are reversed — I usually do break it off.
But lately, because I’ve been thinking seriously about my problems with commitment-phobia, I’ve started to wonder if my “ethical stance” about not dating anyone who likes me more than I like him is actually coterminous with my fear of getting into a serious relationship.
If you’re wondering what the hell I mean by that, allow me to show my work, as my algebra teacher might have said: It’s more likely I could get into a serious relationship with a guy who actually likes me — and the idea of being in a serious relationship is scary to me. And my “fear of intimacy” gets sublimated into a lack of attraction to the guy who actually likes me. So voilà! I remain free to get hung up on “douchebags” (by definition, dudes who are less into me than I am into them, naturally). And so I remain single. And I remain FREE.
And even though I say I’d love to be in a healthy relationship … the truth is, the idea of uniting my life with another person’s kinda freaks me out for a million reasons. Which maybe I’ll get into tomorrow.
But for now, let me get back to my original question. Tell me, folks: Do you think it is, in fact, unethical — or at least kind of mean — to date a person if you can tell he or she is more into you than you are into him?
Or do you think there is always going to be some kind of imbalance — and that the only way any romantic relationship ever evolves is if both people deal with the fact that one person likes the other more, at first, but they’re both willing to move forward to see if things even out?
Do you think there should be a gender exception when it comes to this issue? Like, is it okay for one person to like the other more only if that person is a man — since, according to conventional (or at least old-fashioned) wisdom, men are supposed to be the pursuers?
Or do you simply think that when a relationship is meant to be, it’s meant to be, and there’s no sense of disparity?
Given that bebe has expressed to me before that she’s afraid of being committed in this relationship because she feels she might lose her freedom, make herself vulnerable (emotionally) and that she has yet to know where she’s going to permanently locate herself, she finds it hard to overly commit herself… however, I also think that she may even have this said ‘fear of intimacy’ that the author writes about. Of course I’m not bebe and I can’t say for sure or maybe she doesn’t even understand/recognize her own feelings/thoughts yet – but hey, either way I’m still pursuing her!
I really enjoyed reading this because it highlights the encompassing idea that two people must always equally like each other and I think that’s almost shockingly non-existent… how do partners achieve equality? Almost in any relationship, I can see that there will always be one of the partners who loves the other more. Does this mean that a relationship cannot be successful? Absolutely not! In fact, that’s the reason why courting, dating, wooing, etc. all exist – to solidify the opposite individuals feelings and emotions for yourself. If two people were automatically “in love” with each other like we love to believe in fairy-tales, then there would be no courting process, no need for one of the individuals to want to make the other feel good, confident and of worth!
Bebe has told me of her guilt before in dragging me on and continuing to try to make things work by holding on to me, even though she doesn’t quite feel for me. She says it’s unfair to me, but the reality is, there’s more unfairness to trying to giving in and ignore than truly taking the time to analyze possibilities while in a relationship. It always hurts me more in any relationship to end prematurely rather than seeing what could have been. Yes, there will always be a potential for a negative ending but yet, why not think that pushing forth may result in a positive ending – an ending of happiness and fulfillment? Attraction is a funky thing and i know over the years and perhaps, lol, even months… my definition of attraction and the type, physically and personality-wise, of girl I would normally be or not be interested in. Suffice to say, when bebe and I first met, there was some getting used to for me in regards to coming to terms with things I’m simply not used to and not a matter of me not being able to accept certain things/matters/features.
I’m not only a believer that there will always be imbalance in a relationship, but would even dare want to be the one who loves bebe more than she loves me. I don’t have a problem with that. Some may say that’s a blind and foolish thing to do – but then you could argue, so are all the crazy people who get married and have kids! Oh-the-nightmare-of-it-all. People do things for a special someone because it makes them feel good. When I do something for bebe, I don’t analyze what I get out of it. When I give bebe something, I don’t have an expectation of getting something back but rather, is a fulfilling feeling on its own. Perhaps, getting something in return may make me feel additionally well about myself, nevertheless, even the act of doing something for a loved-one is a joyous moment itself.
I see many successful relationships nowadays which all started from something that was “forced”… for instance, many older relationships, women were pretty much forced into marriage or perhaps simply chose their husband out of not wanting to be single/out of wedlock or have a dependency. Many of these “fake loves” grow into “real love”… and although as cruel as that may sound, how could one deny everlasting happiness? I don’t keep tallies and nor do I care about trying to compare how much I’ve done for bebe versus how much she’s done for me because there is no score on love or for someone you care about. How can someone “quantify” the amount of love they have given? Is it tangible, can I hold it? Every time I hear a girl use the word “feel” to describe their willingness or unwillingness towards a guy, I think the Heavens should punish them by removing a tooth our of their mouth. If chemistry and “feel” exists… then so does fate. The concept of “feel” is retarded because there are justifiable and descriptive things that relate to whether we have “feel” or not to one another.
I read many of the comments following this article and was surprized to see how most people as they mature and become older, recognize the realities of life that cupid just doesn’t fly by, shoot and arrow and we all instantly fall in love. Relationships prosper under effort, commitment, loyalty and willingness to endure hardships. No amount of “chemistry” helps you resolve problems. “Feel” does not pay the bills when a partner loses a job or becomes chronically ill. Chemistry does not justify bringing a newborn child into existence. Feel is not the binding glue of aged couples walking happily down the street in canes and walkers. How we truly learn to love is by overlooking the things we want or expect, but rather, what is necessary for two people to enjoy a lifetime of happiness together.
I really think people should revisit the above article every time they think about whether a guy is right for them a not, just based on their own lack of attraction and truly consider some other qualities about the guy who do shine forth. I cannot imagine that any couple out there when they got together satisfies each others wants/needs 100% – but what DOES matter is that these two people through their love and commitment for each other enables them to stay together. Love has no disparity, only ignorance.
Thought I’d relax this weekend without a period post, but I did manage to get some shots of “period-related” things for those who come to my blog for the flow-lovers value rather than actually caring about my life 😛 Don’t feel guilty! Everyone visits sites for certain values and topics that they only care about while others are more interested in learning about the author as a whole!
This weekend was an interesting one and let me start on Friday. I received an email from an uncle telling me that a friend of his will be arriving from Hong Kong to help his son get organized for the upcoming school semester as an international student in Canada. Since I had helped arrange these things and for residence at a local host family, his parents really wanted to take me out for dinner as thanks and to meet me, since other than by phone and email, we have never formally met. I really enjoy the love of helping people when it’s within my means and don’t expect gains other than goodwill and appreciation. When we met, they also happened to bring along a friend who had a daughter (I can already see some people grinning as they read this) who happened to live in the same city and will watch over their son while he’s here.
Everyone talked over the course of dinner and my mom invited them over to our house just to have some tea, sit and chat. I enjoyed showing them my computer and gun collection and of course with all but the one girl, the rest were boys who tuned right in to the idea of being able to shoot a firearm. The girl was very shy but eventually joined us. She screamed the first time she fired off a shot, just like my mom – lol, it was kind of funny to watch. Apparently while all the “kids” were downstairs, the adults talked upstairs about random things. Most notably, I think especially Chinese people like to involve relationships in their conversations because I swear we have nothing else to talk about. Her mom grilled my mom on how old I was, what kind of education I had, the type of guy I am, whether I had a girlfriend or not and how my career is going and such. At the end of the night, her mom was very pleased with me (which is kind of scary… and you’ll find out why later on) and determined me to be a “very good guy.” It’s always interesting because I think over the past while, I’ve come to realize that I’m the type of guy that “girls” my age don’t like, but I’m totally the type of guy that mothers like for their daughters 😆
This is not the first scenario of the case above and happened again on Saturday. The acupuncturist that I go to has a daughter and yes, she is quite pretty – considering the fact I think most Chinese-mainlander girls are ick. I’ve had several opportunities to talk to her informally before, about school, life, sports and other general interest things and have found her to be quite intelligent – or at the very least – appears to be able to hold an intellectual conversation. Aside from the awkwardness of her translating “erection” for her mom (the acupuncturist) to English for me, we have a pretty good time talking when she’s there on the weekend helping out with receptionist work. I figured that especially with “doctors” they would generally not want their own son/daughter interested in a paitient since they know all the “dirty details” about you, like what things are wrong with your body, that you’re overweight or whatever – because in general, you don’t see doctors for good things. Suffice to say, my mom was saying how the doctor was asking about my age, whether I was single, commenting that her daughter was single, what I do for a living, whereabouts I live, whether I was “interested” in girls and that I was a “very good boy” because I’m always chauffeuring my mom around, I have a good relationship with her and I pay for everything. I think from the viewpoint of most “moms” – I appear to be a guy they would definitely want for their daughter knowing I’d treat them well (based on what they know about me).
The awkwardness of most situations is that these girls that their moms want to set me up with are all horribly not within my age range. One of these girls and I won’t mention which one, would actually be illegal. Now I know that Canadian law does not dictate any “age requirements” for dating, but obviously they do have age enforcement for sexual relationships. I’m not saying that when I date a girl, all I ever think about is getting in her pants, but obviously if you want the relationship to progress healthily, that is obviously one of the things that will come up. So yes, one of these moms wanted to practically set me up with her underage daughter. The second mom at the very least, tried to “inquire” about me on behalf of her daughter and at the very least, the girl just turned 18 so at least for legal standards, she would not make me act under a criminal capacity. I think about how immature most university-aged girls are nowadays, let alone consider a relationship with a girl who just turned 18. Speaking of which, I know that this would be a dream for almost any heterosexual male – those “fresh”, “barely legal” girls and I can understand that, but not so much for me if I’m looking for a real, working-relationship. I think that a lot of guys my age don’t want to settle either or care about commitment. A few guy-friends when hearing that bebe was going to be out-of-the-country for 6 months asked me whether I was going to “find another girl to bang” while she was away or a girl to “keep me company” (how you want to interpret that is up to you). It’s not going to happen – just because bebe’s not around doesn’t mean it gives me a right to mess around and don’t confuse that I say a girl is “pretty” or “beautiful” means I think I like them – it just means I can appreciate their beauty and doesn’t replace my love for bebe!
While shopping on Saturday, I finally took some pictures at T&T Supermarket in Mississauga in the pad section! I could inconspicuously bring my camera out since it’s attached to my phone and snap a few pictures. I’ll have to get them sometime when my girls go shopping with me. The Elis DX360 is $9.99 – geezzz, but has side-barriers like the Laurier Superguard – weehh! On the left edge of the shelf was some Laurier Thins and Center-In SaraSara pads… not exactly a big fan of thins, but I can’t be biased now can I? Only someone who’s in a tight pinch would ever buy “local” pads/tampons from a Chinese store because be prepared to have your wallet stripped of its money.
Sunday I got a call early in the morning… like shit-time early and my friend asked me what I was planning to do for the day. I was just aiming to relax a day and do a bit of gaming but asked me to join me at her place for a BBQ. Yes, that’s right – a girl doing BBQ, isn’t that just awesome? It’s already super-hot for girls who know how to prepare a proper meal, let alone one who can even work the barbecue, RAWR! She made a delicious meal and although I helped out here and there, it was pretty nice that she spoils me sometimes and we can just chat while she puts some wings, skewers and seafood on the grill! She had a couple of drinks, but I didn’t since I have to drive and Ontario alcohol laws are tighter-than-ever when it comes to enforcing drinking and driving laws. I stayed until about 9PM or so when we called it a night and I went home to get ready for sleep. Why would I sleep so early? Got a damn email telling me that I have an early-morning Monday meeting! UGH.
Anyways, that’s it for the weekend and I hope my fellow flow-lovers enjoy the pictures. I don’t have much on my mind right now so toodles for now!
I wanted to take this opportunity to write in reply to one of my reader’s suggestion for feedback on a question he posed to me a while ago. I know I have been lacking on doing period posts and have done a lot of moping over bebe. Suffice to say, it’ll be a long 6 months for me and I wonder if she even thinks about me and has me in her heart at all while she’s away. She has yet to reply to me since she got home and has yet to talk to me over MSN (sad meh Poh Ching?). Nevertheless, enough thinking of that and I want to address a really fantastic topic brought up to me:
August 3, 2010 at 3:02 AM
– I would request you to write on how a typical women would react if asked about menstruation, bra and stuff, & if you have screwed up a female friend by asking such, how to make up for
it or the proper convenient way to ask so the other person does not feel offended or “exposed” & “embarrassed” as i was told once 😦
It took me a while to approach this subject because it really made me think. I’m going to try to methodically write this towards 3 different “types” of girls, relationship status wise, on how I have experienced female topics with them, 1) girls I don’t know well, 2) girls I know well, and 3) girlfriend/partner. Suffice to say, there are girls who might fall under category one, but who are open to talking about female topics even with a stranger, but girls who fall under category 2 where even after knowing them for years are still shy or reluctant to talk about it. There’s no “catch-all” to my experiences because as we all know, everyone is different.
Before I start typing the core of this response, I’d like to make note that things expressed herein are strictly my own experiences and opinions and may not be of general consensus or even truth, if you read it, it is your choice whether you wish to validate or deny my judgment.
To address the first part of this reader’s question, I think that a typical woman would find it inappropriate to discuss menstruation, bra, panties and stuff if you don’t know her well. Also, I believe that discussions on such topics are better left to more private areas. Obviously a woman would be more likely to oppose talking about her period at say, by the office cooler, rather than in the comfort of her own phone or a private place. I think this is a pretty usual reaction thinking even upon my own reactions to being asked a private question. Given how open-minded of a guy I am (or at least I think I am), I’ve had many girls ask me private questions before and naturally, I’d be more reluctant about answering them in a quiet mall where everyone can hear everything as opposed to if I was sitting at her house or something. I remember one time when my one of my god-sis asked me something super private in the middle of a mall food court and I was like, “There’s no way I’m answering that question until we get home.” I think we all have an expectation of privacy and certainly, I’m sure other people around wouldn’t want to hear the conversation anyways. Therefore out of respect for others and myself, I would say that we should respect the feelings and privacy of a woman when it comes to asking such questions, especially when it is not someone you know well. I would wager that when you ask a woman who you don’t know well about female topics, their thoughts would be, “Why do you need to know?” – and the likelihood is you probably don’t other than out of perversion or immense curiosity.
In a way, when it comes to women you know well, approaching such subjects come with greater danger because as said, it may end up damaging a relationship (whether romantic or just friends) that is already formed. I think that women can also be pretty understanding in that if you’re in at least “good standing” with them, that it won’t ruin a relationship unless you make the situation really awkward where they can no longer continue a friendship with you. I must say most of the girls I’m close with have all been very open about female topics with me and perhaps they find solace and comfort in confiding in me about personal topics that they can rarely talk to other guys about, even their own boyfriends. I guess naturally I’m also more inclined to make friends with those who are equally, if not more, open-minded so I suppose that may slightly skew the numbers and statistics. Nevertheless, I do believe that when I approach my girl-friends about such subjects, they’re pretty good about it. If they feel they don’t want to answer it, they’ll say so softly but without hard feelings. There are girls like Poh Ching who I’ve known for only months and even when we first started talking, we hit it off immediately and we talked about things as if we were “best friends” without barriers. I think we’ve exchanged more information with each other because of our openness, than we have with our own boyfriends and girlfriends before. There are girls like Sophia who won’t tell me anything as well 😛 LOL!
I think part of what made women this way were the way society has brought all of us up. Menstruation is a particularly taboo subject and even amongst women themselves are often discussed hush-hush. I’m glad to see that many of the girls of my generation are beginning to be more comfortable approaching such subjects because it’s becoming a more “acceptable” thing (not that it shouldn’t have been acceptable in the first place). As much as I’ve often asked girls about things like menstruation, oddly enough, I rarely approach my girls about subjects of their panties, bra size, weight and especially not their sizes. With as much experience as I had with my ex’s panties and bras, I’ve never noted her size or anything (did that make me a bad boyfriend? LOL), because it’s not something I’m just all that interested in. I think most guys love to gloat about their girlfriend’s breasts and stuff, but for as huge as my ex’s boobs were, I’ve never actually asked her for any of her sizes. So to answer the question, I don’t have much experience when it comes to asking girls about female articles of clothing. I shall put it quite frankly that I think most girls don’t find it acceptable for you to know about her sizes unless you are dating or married to her. If anything, most of my girls I do happen to know their sizes or weight only because they have told me without me inquiring. Also, it’s very natural for me to know about it because I shop with my girls a lot, so when they ask me to pick out certain sizes for them, it makes it pretty obvious as they try things on – I’m not blind you know 😀 But rest assured, I don’t really get all that hyped about that stuff. If a girl tells me her bra size, I wouldn’t be as excited as if she told me she was on her period or something, HAHAHA.
So the third type of women, one you are dating or married to then I think there needs to be mutual openness here. After all, if you’re dating and ESPECIALLY if you’re married, things like these should not need to remain a secret. Your girlfriend/wife (probably) menstruates, wears a bra, wears panties, etc. so it’s not like that is some worldwide secret or anything. If you’re in a relationship and you can’t even share simple matters like these, I don’t see any reason why the relationship should have progressed in the first place. With all my girlfriends, I have always “tested the waters” with their acceptance towards my interest/fetish by slowly introducing the topic in. You can tell whether they are open to talking about it or that they’re very shy. I know you guys listen to me bitch a lot, but honestly, bebe used to tell me a lot more about her period than she does now or within the past while. Like one of my readers said, it’s definitely a spiteful thing to do, especially she knows I enjoy knowing and what harm will it do to her? I can understand if I used her menstrual knowledge “against” her, like using it to time when she will PMS so I can mock and bother her, but no, I use that information with all the best intentions and so I can be around to be extra comforting for her. I cannot understand what logical girl would not love something like that, but hey, we’re all different. Sometimes trying to read into her makes my head explode, haha. When it comes to all the other girlfriends I’ve had, I could see they were open about sharing female topics and having even a relationship-building effect because it’s a special and meaningful way we can connect talking about female topics and I can get to know their bodies/feelings better! Topics like weight and sizes tend to be a pretty touchy subject for women, even beyond relationship and marriage, so really, it’s up to you whether you want to delve in such information. I think it’s pretty usual for a guy to know a girl’s sizes once they begin to share closet space anyways!
I only know of one girl who I’ve probably pushed away as a result of talking to her about periods. The odd thing was she was the one who approached me about the topic, which is really what pissed me off even more. I can see a girl being upset with me if I approached her about a sensitive topic, but if she was the one to begin the discussion, then that makes her retarded for playing “shy” after the fact. She began to talk about how great she thought using the Divacup was and permanently gave up using pads and tampons and then we had a very brief discussion on it. Heck, I didn’t even tell her anything about my “interest” – but just expressed I was glad she found something that she felt comfortable with and was being environmentally-conscious. She became all quiet about it and eventually stopped talking to me. I think I’d be unhappy if it was something “I did” to cause it, but she was the one who opened up to me about something as intimate as her use of menstrual cup, why the hell would you do that if you were going to be offended by it? Suffice to say, her and I are no longer friends and I have no want of “making up for it” because how can I be friends with someone who will open a topic for discussion and then become all sensitive about it when the other person begins to speak on that subject? The only other girl I can think of that I had to “make up” for it is bebe, because that is the whole reason why you are reading this blog – it is her inspiration and my way of expressing my commitment to her. When I told bebe about my interests, like most girls, she was like “wow” (in shocked way), but slowly accepted it within me. However, I needed to reassure her that knowledge of menstruation in a guy is nothing to be ashamed for her, doesn’t harm her in any way and in fact, helps her feel comfortable with communicating with me about anything, even personal bodily issues and female matters. This blog is dedicated to her because it was a way to ease her into the idea that men should know about menstruation and that it is an ADVANTAGE, not a disadvantage to have a boyfriend who appreciates it. Those are the only two scenarios where I’ve had happen to me where I felt I needed to “make up” for my actions.
I think the easiest way to approach women when it comes to these matters are through tact, exploration and to know your limits. Some women are insanely shy about it while others are open even to a total stranger. Some will only discuss it with their own gender while some will be more than happy to share their experiences with the opposite gender. I try to conjure up a conversation related to periods and see if she’ll continue in that direction. If she does, it’s likely she doesn’t feel too shy about it but if she steers away, it is likely she’s either 1) oblivious, or 2) doesn’t feel comfortable with the subject. A big factor besides knowing a person’s personality is also how close you are with the girl in question. Most of my girls I can be very blunt to, especially my god-sis’ I can just ask, “Hey, I forgot when your period is coming…” or “Do you have any pads/tampons left that I can have?” … while there are girls I would dare not be so blunt and I’d have to “work my way in” to a conversation like that. I could also say I know the girls around me well enough to know who you can approach female topics with and those who you can’t and it’s best to choose your targets correctly as it may result in dire consequences. Obviously asking a female coworker who you don’t know well about her bra size, period or weight is asking to get a lawsuit in your face. For women who are resistant to the subject, then the best thing to do is either CREATE that comfort-zone with them where they’re willing to share or simply don’t even bother. Women are entitled to their privacy, especially if you’re not in a particular relationship with them when it comes to their periods and other female topics. Choose your environment well, don’t pick places where a woman might feel exposed, embarrassed or offended where they feel at least they can be open with you about the subject-matter and try to avoid approaching the subject when she’s surrounded by others. After all, I may be comfortable sharing information with person X but not when person Y is present. Your tone and demeanour plays an important part, if you look like you want the information for perverted gains rather than for personal growth and knowledge, you are more likely to be declined an answer by the girl.
To sum it up, you simply have to know the person you are approaching about sensitive female matters. I understand no matter how well you know a girl, she may still reject or make a judgment mistake and end up damaging things, so it’s up to your discretion and choice whether you want to strike up such a conversation. Within a relationship, I believe learning about each others bodily experience helps connect partners and builds character and the relationship itself because after all, isn’t it a bond with each other that is a foundation of a good relationship? There is no right way of asking a question, only a way and how you do it will determine whether she smiles and answers your question or is a tick away from being slapped in the face 😆 There are then of course girls who I know won’t tell me but I bug them about it, but that is usually in jest and just to poke at them 😛
As people say, “Know your friends, know your enemies.”
On another note, I FINALLY got to use my coupon $5 off any 2 packs of Stayfree Pads, Carefree Liners or O.B. Tampons coupon at a nearby Rexall that they just built (great excuse to scout it out) which resulted in me saving $7.99 off regular prices! I know this deal isn’t as great as the 99-cent one, but hey, my house has been empty of supplies for 3 weeks now 😀 Just for shits-and-giggles, I timed myself.. from the moment I entered the store, look me 8 seconds to locate and get in the feminine hygiene aisle, 9 seconds to get a pack of Stayfree Super Maxi Pads with Wings and another pack of Stayfree Super Maxi Pads without Wings, 7 seconds to get to the cashier, 25 seconds for the cashier to register my purchase and 4 seconds to walk out the door. In total, I managed to make two CORRECT purchases in a total of 53 seconds. I can now proudly say it takes me less than a minute to locate the right aisle and make a product purchase 😛 Of course it’d be a hell of a lot faster if the lady didn’t spend 15 seconds just staring at my coupon to make sure it was “real” before she put it in – heck, I even had my own reusable bag so I put the packages in myself while she read every letter on that coupon! Some might argue I managed to get out so quick because I’m “afraid” or “ashamed” – lol, but hardly… I’m not afraid to be seen in the feminine hygiene aisle or buying the products, it was because it was about to rain and rained-on pads are disgusting as well I arrived only 15 minutes before closing time because I was too busy talking to Amy over Skype that I lost track of time (gee thanks, haha). All in all, a decent weekend – my back hurts today for some reason though. Again, another sweet-sweet dream about bebe and woke up with my pillow all wet because I probably spent most of the night kissing my pillow thinking it was her, haha. On the weekend after acupuncture, this was the first time I think “something went awry” because I had this massive nosebleed. Whatever meridians were poked must’ve triggered something because I haven’t had my nosebleed like this for a long time, even though I was prone to it back in my “less healthy” days. I have to tell her to be careful about where she’s poking those needles if I’m getting a heavy flow (lol) right afterward because who knows what kind of effect it had on my body!
Looks like another Friday has dawned upon us, crazy! Today was pretty relaxing – left work at about 1PM only to arrive at a site to be told, “Oh… by the way, I should’ve called you to tell you our problem was fixed – sorry for wasting your time coming all the way out here.” I sure as hell was glad it wasn’t out-of-the-way and was on the way home anyways. Looked at my phone and it was only 1:30… surely I cannot leave work that early, can I? Being the good employee I am, I decided to stay at the site and survey the area for work that needs to be done. Talked with the contacts in the building and was only 1:45. Well screw it, I’m going home early today, the boss’ car was gone anyways when I left, so he won’t be around to check on us anyways!
Got home at 2PM and didn’t want to cut the grass that early. The sun was shining hardcore and although the breeze was very nice, under the sun for about 5 minutes and you could feel your skin burning already. I know the UV rating wasn’t very high today, but I dislike heat as it causes discomfort for me. My cell rang, crap – oh wait, good, it’s not work! Turns out got a call from one of my girls asking me if I wanted to catch an early dinner with them because they were doing a “girls night out” and were going to the movies afterward. I told them I could go with them, so I rushed to mow the lawn before my mom came home and would complain about how ugly the grass looked. My lawnmower is self-propelled but moves at a fairly slow pace so I pretty much had to push it along to reduce the time it took to finish.
I took a short shower, got dressed in something more casual and met the girls for dinner. Obviously we all paid for ourselves 😛 I had a kicker because they always want to have a reason to get together, not “just because.” As we were sitting in the restaurant, we couldn’t figure out something to cheers/toast to. I jokingly said, “Hey, ____ you’re on your period right? How about we give a toast, to the beginning of your period!” and I laughed jokingly. All the girls faces lit up and they all accepted and we had a reason to celebrate, because one of the girls period started 😆 – guess that’s as good of a reason as any other! They had to finish dinner quick and split after a few hours and I went home to watch some series.
Got a call from my friend as I just stepped through the door. He asked me if I was home all excited about something. I said I just got back and he said he was coming by. That is unusual because most people ask if they can drop by (other than girls – they’re always welcome at my house, LOLOLOL) rather than “telling” me he’s coming by. Sure enough even before I get to the door, he’s pulled in the driveway and I finally saw why – he got a nice, new car! His 5-minute car-showoff turned into a 2 hour impromptu conversation on my driveway. He did ask if I wanted to go for dinner, but I had ate with the girls earlier already so I wasn’t feeling hungry.
During a TVB drama, I saw one of my favourite male actors/singers, Raymond Lam! I love his songs and can sing most of them and even more so, his acting is starting to improve. I really like how Raymond looks, a mix of the typical masculinity yet with boyish good looks. I said if I were wanted to get plastic surgery, I would definitely get something done to look like him. I commented to my mom that I thought Raymond looked very leng jai in this series and my mom had a grave and concerned look on her face and said, “Do you find yourself attracted to men often?” For god sake, I said he looked handsome not that I said I was crazy and madly in love with him. Can a man not make an appreciative statement of another male without automatically being thought of as gay?
Speaking of cars, today, I found out bebe got her driver’s license on the first try – I am so proud of her! You know, when you’re an Asian girl trying to get a drivers license, you know luck and stereotypes is already against you. But hot damn, that’s my bebe, confident, strong and smart (yes, I bolded it, because smart girl are sexy girls :lol:)! In a way, I felt kind of at peace because honestly, if her intentions wasn’t to bother to come back to Canada, why would she even get a Canadian license? I can’t say there isn’t a bit of selfishness in my thoughts behind it, but hey, I’m entitled to nomnomnom over her right? 😛 Ok, so that might not be completely true, but I like to pretend what I think is right, haha – it makes me feel better. I guess that means I no longer have to drive her, she can drive herself now XD On the other hand, it might also means she spends and exorbitant amount of time with her friends and totally forgets about spending time with me. Outrageous 😕 LOL. Guess I can sleep in the car while she ports us around now, hah.
Suffice to say, I’m very proud of bebe today, not that I’m regularly not, just that today she added one more reason for me to be proud of her. God, why do I feel so cheerful and vibrant for her accomplishments? I was extra happy she bothered replying to me on FB when I commented. In the past, I tend to get ignored by her and such when I comment which I’ve found kind of rude, hurtful and spiteful, so it made me extra happy today 😀 I’m in a good mood! I didn’t try to kill the loser who cut in front of me today, lucky bastard that bebe put me into a happy-mode today!
Tomorrow going out for acupuncture, perhaps meet with some friends and get groceries. Have to wake up early and check if god-sis is free and if she is, maybe find something to do with her since I’m out there anyways. Poh Ching just asked me saying I should’ve spent all this week and next week with bebe before she leaves so we can enjoy each others company =_= Obviously you haven’t been KEEPING UP WITH THE STORY Poh Ching, lol. If I could, I would’ve spent all 14 days before her departure with her, haha… stoopppodd 😛 Now I have to get all melacholic about her leaving in a few days and not even being able to see her. I’m a bit emo right now, ya? Girls sure know how to hit you where it hurts.
I’m sure a lot of people reading this won’t believe me… or at least those who don’t know me well. Next week I will probably take Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off… or at the very least Tuesday. On Tuesday, I will be at home crying, puking and probably trying to smash my head against the wall until my head bleeds because bebe is going to Malaysia for 6 months. Yes yes, I talk about that a lot, I know… trust me, I’ll be talking about it more on my personal blog when she does leave – I’ll probably go into some mad frenzy (sucks to be the people who get in my way or piss me off). One may think what’s the big deal? If you say so, then you have never loved before. The gut-puking feeling of someone you care about being 15,000KM’s away from you for HALF A YEAR is wrenching. I’ll be at home mopping about, suffering from massive depression attacks and staring at my gun. At least if I take a day off, I know I can just crawl in my bed and put the blanket over my head and pretend the world doesn’t exist and that I don’t love her. Yes, pretend, because we know that’s the exact opposite. Nothing changes the hurt, especially of being ignored.
Thought I’d leave you guys with something to laugh about… or perhaps I need a laugh too:
Big Bang Theory – Tampon Talk on Youtube
And you thought I was the only one to consider something like this eh? HAHA. I win 😀 Apparently buying feminine hygiene in bulk is not so much of a crazy idea!
Looks like it’s a fairly decent morning – the sun is out and the winds are still cool. Of course since I got to work, I can already see the temperature on my screen rising from a comfortable 20 degrees Celsius to now 25 degrees, luckily if you’re not under the sun, the breeze is still nice coming through the window! Woke up rather groggy this morning probably because I slept too well. With some connections with a good friend of mine who’s a graphics expert, she printed off a nice picture of bebe and I together ^__^ so cute and before anyone asks, no, I will not post this anywhere including Facebook, lol.. she did it as a favour for me on company time 😛
This resulted in a really nice sleep and dream… in fact, way too good of a sleep. When I woke up, I admit that I had pillow all in my mouth. I had stupid pillow strands and the taste of my pillow-case, gross. I’ve always slept with one of those long comfy pillows next to me so I have something to hug on to, so this isn’t something new, but if I didn’t know any better, I probably spent most of my sleeping night kissing my fucking pillow dreaming it was bebe probably… ewww… gross, pillow cases do NOT taste good in any way (unless coated with chocolate). I need to stop having dreams of bebe.. what happened to dreaming about other girls? LOL… geezz..
I woke up anyways through my grogginess to get a happy text message! I was about to bitch at who would make me wake up at an ungodly hour, but turns out I got a message from one of my god-sis’ who told me about the happy arrival of her period 😀 much to my excitement! Looking at my calendar a few days ago, one of my girls should also be starting this week, but she told me it might be delayed because it was last time. However, I trust my calendar and she’s been complaining about chocolate cravings last night, so it must be coming soon too, yay 😛 life is good sometimes, no? LOL.
I was rather happy since it has been a while since any of my girls’ periods have come, so I jaunted out of bed, picked her up at her house and we went for a small breakfast before I had to go to work! She also told me she’s starting to run low on pads and had to buy more, but I didn’t have time so I told her we could go after work or that I could get them from her and bring them to her house when she needed them. Yes, I do happen to know everything she uses, so I don’t even have to ask questions 😆 I’m trying to delay buying them only because I’m still waiting for my Stayfree, O.B or Carefree coupons to come in and it has been 2 weeks already! 😦 I don’t like going to the store too many times and want to pick up mine and her stuff all at once… and it’s mainly because of the summer heat laziness.
God-sis’ did have some major PMS signs this month, lol, something must’ve been making her unhappy – but she seems content now and we had a great breakfast conversation! I haven’t seen this one for a while, so it was nice to connect again before we both had to head off for work. I’m glad she messaged me in the morning with such happy news, even though she woke me up from my slumber and dreams of bebe, haha. I can’t wait until my other girl starts soon, I want to know if I’ve got her on-track with my calendar 😛
My storage is barren right now.. I only have some Always Extra Heavy Overnights which I ordered from before and a cheapo pack of Always Classics with Wings I bought from the dollar store (lol, they’re actually not too bad) and I’m tempted to not wait for the coupons to arrive… but noooo, I’m too cheap for that 😀 If anything, god-sis and I could split the two packs of Stayfree that I’ll end up buying with the coupon – but as I’m typing this, it just dawned upon me that she doesn’t use Stayfree – stupid me! Well, I guess I’ll just have to get her stuff first since she doesn’t mind spending the money, haha… I guess when you’re menstruating, you don’t have much of a choice 😛 I told her she should always have kept some stuff over at my place XD Shit, I don’t even have any tampons left, so too bad for her… gave them all away.
How ironic… in 6 days from now, I’ll be a pile of misery and 6 days from now, bebe will be happy and excited. Sometimes I laugh mockingly at life. I remember when we first met and I was counting down the days on my personal MSNSpace blog of her returning, I guess now once she leaves I have to start counting time half-a-bloody-fucking-god-damned-life-wrecking-year of days until her return. I guess I take most of my personal bitching to a more private blog rather than here. Talk about life-fuckery at the max… last time I used that blog extensively was when I was waiting for her to return… a year ago.. and now a year later, I now have to countdown again until her return – except 3 times longer. Talk about being played like a stupid fool. Nevertheless, my hearts not going anywhere far for the next 6 months anyways. Times like these I probably need a couple of FWB’s, HAH!
Time to finish up my coffee, get back to work and watch a few movies then. Toodles for now.
I usually try not to go too crazy when it comes to reposting blogs since I try to make sure all the content of my blog is original and personal, but every once in a while I’m feeling lazy, demotivated or simply because I’ve found something worth putting up on my own blog of someone else’s work! I have found two that I found really meant something to me worth putting up:
via ( ‘ , ^ )
I liked that post because it really delved into several subjects I often contemplate, humanity, psychological reflections, personal growth, family/friends, feelings/emotions, strengths/weaknesses and self-worth.
The second had lots of great pictures which I cut out but the bottom of the post had some great paragraphs written…
Listen to me very carefully… take more pictures! Take them when you’re lazy, take them when you’re excited, take them even with ppl beginning to roll their eyes at you. The hell with them! You are creating memories dammit. Make it a priority to take pictures of things, places, people, and of course, yourself! You are only young once and they are there as proof to your grandchildren that, yes, grammy was once young and dashing! Pictures provide a great storybook for your lives and the collecting of memories on film/laptop/monitor/fb is truly priceless.
I’ve never regret taking more pictures!
And for once in your life, take some professional/glamour type pictures! Like I said, the more proof you have for your grandchildren- the better!
She had a lot of pictures (what a beautiful girl I should mention – go check her out!) which was what caught my eye (lol what? I’m a guy…), but then I also read the quote as stated above. It suddenly hit home that I ought to take pictures more. I get really self-conscience about taking pictures of me or even when I like to snap a shot of a nice scenery and people give me weird looks. I mean, I love taking pictures of important people like bebe, LOL – and I’d easily expend my entire memory card full of space if I had to for her, hahaha. I think bebe and I ought to take some nice pictures like Jen and her husband have in the future.
Creating moments… yes that is exactly something worthwhile to cherish. Whether short or long, permanent or temporary, every moment is worth remembering for all it brings us. One day we will all sit there and wonder and think back about how life was years ago and pictures capture and allows one to relive those moments. I love doing glamour shots… that is as long as I’m not the one in them, heh, except for at my own wedding of course, that’ll be awesome and I’ll take plenty of pictures with her 😆 I can’t say I’m a pro with my camera, but I can definitely pull of some nice shots like Jen did! I want to be able to tell our kids, “This is what mommy and daddy looked like when we first started dating.” – LOL – awwww… such a cute moment.
So anyways, I’m going to try to feel motivated to make a period-post or something soon… Just really staring at the calendar thinking about how sad it’s going to be when bebe leaves back home. I should also mention that the same day she is leaving (minus time difference) is also the same day my grandfather is scheduled to have his funeral precession – can you say what the fuck? Two horrible things happening on the same god damn day. First bebe pops the news that she’s going home on me ON THE SAME DAY that my grandfather passed away and then on the same day bebe’s departing from Canada is also my grandfather’s funeral day… like really, my life is so worthless right now – anyone want to trade? How could 2 separate but like-incidences happen twice-over like that? 😥
I should automatically win honours at the FML (Fuck My Life) website… I think I’m going to book a sick-day off on the day she leaves because I’ll be at home puking and crying – ya, that’s a totally valid sick-day reason… I’m not sure I could ever handle doing airport duties with her, I’d probably pass-out at the gates or something. Thanks love for ruining my life. So far, 4 nights of nightmares already.. ASS SCARY nightmares, the ones where you wake up with your heart racing and scared shitless as if it was real. I’m worrying too much about bebe and also Ghost Festival (盂蘭節) is coming up which I always seem to be attuned to whenever I’m stressed-out over things and become restless and get nightmares a lot easier. I always ask myself, why does shit like this happen to me? What have I done so seriously wrong? It’s not as if I’ve killed someone or something… although I might start doing that if things are going so messed up in my life anyways it won’t make any difference if I do!
I posed a few people the question, “If doing good things has no reward and doing bad things has no consequence, which would you prefer?” .. struck a lot of people and they were speechless. Yes, that is just what I thought.
And some smart-ass friend of mine today said, “[my name] – you seem really unhappy lately…” and in all reality, he already knew that and he just felt like reminding me of my recent unhappiness over things, I decided to reply, “Gee smart one, where’d you get that fucking clue?” and laughed mockingly. Oh…. how I can be so unfriendly and nasty to people when I’m not in a good mood – shame.
Two things that made me happy today:
1) Played with some little kids today while I was out, they were very cute!
2) Helped two elderly couple and thought to myself, I hope that’s like bebe and I one day – “white hair until old” (Chinese expression) and that we’ll still be loving hand-in-hand walking down the street.
Yes, life’s happiness can just be as simple for me – I am not hard to satisfy.
The following is a complete machine translation by Google Translate and may or may not completely represent the wording and expressions used in the above writing. However, I did it for those who cannot read Chinese characters. I’m not going to bother translating the above text myself only because every person will have a different “take” on what things mean. Think of it as a poem – to some, it means this… and to another, it means that.
Summer, this should be a matter of indulgence in the summer season of love.
Unfortunately, they come one after another around the feelings of annoyance.
Behind a different love story, the love that has waned, or a third party appeared
This is not right or wrong.
The end of the beginning
Life is such coming and going, endless, endless.
Learned to let go, learn to recover naturally.
Give yourself time, little space
Think, think about an independent life.
Love the world in which there is no right or wrong
Only suitable and unsuitable.
This was written by my girl-friend Wing last night…. very cute, yet horribly depressing… I suppose this summer, both our lives are empty. She’s actually a very young girl and to compose something as touching and as mature as this makes me smile bittersweet. Apparently age has very little to do with maturity these days… Experiences really do count for something.
I know the period content has been lacking lately and I’m trying to get my head on straight is all. This blog was actually inspired by bebe after a few months of meeting her. The main reason I created this blog (other than the fact of sharing my menstrual-interest) was because I could see hesitation and reluctance in her accepting my interest and love of menstruation. I started this blog, because I wanted to open her eyes to my interest and as a way of letting her know that just because I have learned to appreciate menstruation, that I am just as normal as a regular guy. Loving menstruation doesn’t change the person who I am – if anything, only to better myself with the intention that this knowledge is because I love the female body so much.
My inspirations are wavering right now since she was the heart and soul of this blog. I will most certainly continue it as I have seen many positive feedback from regular readers and dropper-byers alike. Just for now, I think I need time to recover from my mental and psychological distress. I know myself well enough to say that I know when I need my own “time out” because I can get really snitchy with people when I’m not happy. Better that I have my time alone and to release all my pent up energy before I return “back to the world.”
Oh how I wanted to write on a really cool (ok well, cool to ME) topic today, but I’m so tired right now. I’ve been yawning for the past half hour, yet, I’m not actually tired enough to go to sleep, yet tired enough to not want to do much else! I dislike leaving my blog stale for too long and I also want to let people know I’m still alive 😆
So… for those who want to know what the next topic is, it’s a topic that “hits close to home for me” and something that I truly feel passionate about. Knowingly, there is much resistance when it comes to guys wanting knowledge and information about menstruation. The less they know, the better… but what about guys who are into menstruation, what should be said about those males?
Suffice to say, I used to be ashamed of my interest, my knowledge and my thoughts about menstruation. As short as a year ago, I could not imagine myself owning a blog like this, because being involved in menstruation so much for a male just seemed downright embarrassing. Although I still have very little personally identifiable information on here, the point is, I did not even think of the fact I would express so openly about my experiences and inner-thoughts about periods. I am very happy I took that step and to a degree, this blog is dedicated and inspired by my girlfriend.
Leading on, she was the first girl I’ve been with who have been lightly resistant and hesitant towards my interest in menstruation. I became really worried and I had to receive reassurance from her whether my interest in periods affected her opinion of me. I was worried that if it negatively impacted us enough, I would give up my interest in it – yes – just for her! However, I recall that she told me that had it been a huge issue for her, she would’ve already dumped my ass… so clearly if she’s still around and talking to me, she can slowly accept it. LOL. For most of the girls I’ve ever been with, they have been quite encouraging (and I definitely count my blessings for that) about my positive attitude and knowledge about menstruation. They saw it as an advantage for them!
So what happens to a guy when he has such interest and passion towards menstruation when he encounters a girl who just can’t stand having a guy with such an interest! Yes, it’s definitely going to hurt and one of the sides will have to change or at least meet a middle-ground. So, this leads me onto the next topic I want to write about (either tomorrow or over the weekend whenever my “inspiration” hits) – how girls can appreciate and learn to love a guy who is interested in menstruation. Yes, I’m sure there’s a bit of “weirdness” initially, but think about the world-of-wonders that a guy who is interested in menstruation bring to your love life? You know have a companion, a partner – someone to walk with you (hopefully) for the rest of your life who truly has a keen interest in your beautiful female anatomy and understands your menstrual cycle! There’s no better way to make your menstrual-interested-man feel great about himself by letting him know that you truly appreciate the time he’s taken to learn about the beauties of your body and he’s willing to go “above and beyond” what typical males would do to ensure he knows how to treat-you-right when your period comes around the corner. I know our society is far from being accepting of certain interests, lifestyles and fetishes – but there’s so much having a boyfriend, husband or significant other with this knowledge that you should feel blessed.
Anyways, I don’t want to lead off too much into the topic! Now you know what I have planned. 🙂 If you have any input, please, I’d love to hear it – whether by email, twitter or comment-post. If you have or happen to know a guy who’s interested in periods – let me know your honest thoughts of him! Even if you don’t, think about how you would react if you knew someone who was interested. Would you share your knowledge/experience? I’m glad I know a lot of girls who have no problem sharing info freely with me and being actively involved in my strive to learn about menstruation. I know not every guy is lucky enough to know girls as accepting and keen. I have bit myself before thinking whether it was right to tell my bebe such thoughts in my head, but given I truly want to be with her, it’s not something I want to have to hide from her forever. Lies and misleading someone only causes more problems – why not give her a chance to get used to my interest and perhaps even find ways that she can take advantage of it, right?!
Toodles for now, gonna watch a drama series and probably go Zzzz… I think yesterday was so exhausting and taxing on my body that I’m still trying to recover from it!