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Thailand Ladyboy’s (Kathoey)

Before I begin into this post, I’m warning you that if you are easily distressed by transsexuals, I would not suggest you continue reading. Furthermore, I’m not an “expert” on this topic and I’m only writing about this on a what I know/perceive basis and information herein is what I’ve researched to my ability and also the opinion expressed here within are my views alone.

The reason why I would suddenly write on such an interesting topic is not because I’ve suddenly decided I’d rather become a female or have any doubts of my “masculinity” – but because I watched a video that really made me think about our definitions of gender, attraction and sexuality. I’m sure because I’ve led into this topic, the following video may not be very shocking – but let’s just sit back and imagine I hadn’t prepared you with any details about it, would you still assume the same? The video contains no nudity and is not “vulgar” in any way, unless you have a problem with guys looking like girls.

Thailand’s Got Talent 2011 Bell Nuntita (Nuntrita Khampriranon, 27)

Isn’t that crazy? I mean sure, she has some male characteristics, but by-golly, from a distance and not paying attention to detail, one would not have thought this person is/was male! Not only that but it started making my question attraction. What causes attraction? When I saw the video, I thought to myself that this girl is damn pretty. Even the 2 guys at the end of the song hugged her. So as I begin to think about my own feelings and reactions to this, I asked myself, would I hug her? Yes, I would. Deep down, I wouldn’t lie and say that I did not feel any attraction to her, because I did – even when upon closer inspection I already suspected the fact she… is/was really a he. Then it made me think, although I would not consider myself gay, homosexual or even bisexual, I still felt ATTRACTED to someone who either has or had a penis. So then the big question is, how do people attract each other? Is it based on what we see, feel or simply fooled by our own sight/expectations?

Let’s take a look at some comments found on the internet about this…

wjboo2008: Truly nothing to say, incredible, especially when he switches to his male voice, and at this point, discussing whether he is a transsexual is no longer important!

liuxiang06: This transsexual is better looking than 70% of China’s females.

挂早小鸡: I think I’ve really fallen for her….I’ve actually fallen for a transsexual… Let me think about this…

爆笑兜兜: Look at their audience, and then look at the audiences in our country. They’re so calm. As if lady boys were simple a part of [their culture], like it was no big deal at all.

This is not the first time that I’ve seen a transsexual. Although not highly-visible, there are often ladyboys in Hong Kong as well, so I’m sure I’ve seen them “in person.” Also, I’ve accidentally ran across she-male porn before, so I’ve literally seen “chicks with dicks” – and although it is not my type of thing, I definitely don’t hold anything against them. Suffice to say, I definitely “had the hots for” Bell… despite knowing that’s a HE. It made me consider what about women, that heterosexual men are attracted to… where’s that “connection” that pull people together? I think about my attraction to bebe… she’s a wonderful girl and is also “looks” like a girl… what if she suddenly told me she had a penis, how would I feel? Of course this is one of those questions that is hard to answer if it didn’t really happen – so let’s just leave that up to inquiring minds to think about. I’m attracted to bebe because she is a good person, beautiful and resembles femininity… but now when you look at ladyboys, how can you claim they don’t have that same femininity? In fact, one of the commentator said that these transsexual look better than 70% of the women (assuming these are genetically-born ones) in China. How did I, knowing that Bell Nunita is/was male, still feel that attraction to her? She is definitely pretty!

Bell Nuntita

Bell Nuntita

So under real scrutiny, I’m sure you can see some defining male features in her facial structure, but many transsexual go through surgery and hormone therapy to modify their body into a more “female form” and while some transsexual still have “obvious” male features, some have almost removed them COMPLETELY. Also, some transsexual even go through sexual reassignment surgery, so even if you were to “look down there” – you might never really know. The following video is a short documentary/interview of a ladyboy prostitute in Thailand… Again, because of the restrictions of free WordPress, I’m not allowed to post “adult” material, so the video is censored at pivotal moments (no sex involved).

So how do I feel about this? I think it’s fine, they’re carrying on with a lifestyle which they choose and feels it fits them. For instance, I choose to follow a lifestyle of where I feel passionate about feminine hygiene and menstruation and although in the view of many, it might not be “normal” or “proper” – it is who I am. Likewise, if these people feel like they’re females trapped in a male body (or vice-versa), they have all the right to “change” themselves to suit the body which matches who they are on the inside. I wouldn’t necessary say I’ve “doubted” being male before, there has been times that I thought it’d be ‘pretty cool’ to know what being female would be like. It doesn’t necessarily mean I have any desire to cross-dress or go MtF, but it does mean I have a desire to ‘know’ that being female is all about – perhaps a magical “live in a girl’s body for a day” scenario. I have to admit, I’ve seen many pictures of transsexuals before, and many are extremely pretty, even beyond what a genetically-born woman would be like and have “perfect” genitalia (since they’re fabricated). Do I think ladyboys can be hot? Ya sure, LOL.

The hormonal therapy is really where the kicker is at, because that changes much of their body structure and facial features. It’s amazing what hormones can do to the body with little effort. Even after a month of regular hormonal treatment can easily change the appearance of males<->females. I’m a big believer of living a lifestyle which best suits you, whether this is by gender, interests or career. If a person feels they are female, then they are. If a person feels they are male, then they are. Many countries have uni-sex toilets and in the “Great North America” we seem to have issues with this as many places you go, you will find washrooms labeled distinctly for ‘men’ or ‘women’. There are some places that have “family” washrooms and VERY FEW that have an “any” washroom to cater to those who do not feel associated with a certain defined gender or whatever. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t have a problem going to the washroom with mixed genders. The first time I ever went into a true unisex toilet (by that, I meant it wasn’t a “single” bathroom used by men/women.. men and women were in there CONCURRENTLY) was at a University here in Ontario. I thought it was interesting how males and females just wandered in the washroom and really didn’t pay attention to those around them.

Nong Poy - Don't see a penis, looks like a vagina to me!

Nong Poy - Don't see a penis, looks like a vagina to me!

The more we emphasize the need to “differentiate” – the more we feel embarrassment and shyness. It wasn’t only a matter of going to the washroom, but their entire “washroom-related” things were all done co-ed, including showering. I decided since I was there to see it, I mind as well experience it. I threw a towel on and went into the showers and next to me as this blond girl who I could only see “from the head up.” As we showered, she could tell I was ‘an amateur’ and began to talk-me-up to break the silence and awkwardness. I’m sure my eyes clearly avoided any type of contact with her as to “not stare” but to everyone else, carrying out conversations with the opposite gender, with a mere wall separating each other was hardly an issue. As I relaxed the conversation flowed easily and she soon decided her shower was done. We said our goodbyes and as I breathed a sigh-of-relief not having to gaze elsewhere, she tiptoed back and asked me for my name as she said she didn’t recognize me. I told her my name, mentioned that I was only staying as a guest and that she probably wouldn’t see me again. At that point, I also noticed she was not covered in a towel and was fully nude in front of my stall with her boobs just there. Now I think back, I don’t even know if I had an erection or not, LOL.

Anyways, Kathoey’s can vary in degree of femininity, whether it is simply dressing as one (cross-dressing), speaking like one or even go the whole-nine-yards making physical changes, breast implants, hormone replacement, butt augmentation and getting rid of a very male-feature, the adam’s apple. Because of my interests in periods, I’ve also stumbled upon many cross-dressing, sissy, transgendered lifestyle based sites. I have definitely done some reading around and just to learn, while I do not have the seem yearning for femininity for myself, I can definitely appreciate what they go through, sometimes involving physical pain, mental anguish and pressure from society. I’ll have to say, some of the voice-changes that can happen is just amazing.

It would appear that ladyboys in Thailand culture is very open compared to most places. Judging from the reactions of the audience, when Bell was discovered as a transsexual during the voice/song switch, people didn’t seem to bat an eye. Both the guys and the girls erupted in applause and even the guys (knowing that Bell is/was a ‘he’) still seemed to really have the hots for her. Although I’ve never been to Thailand, I’ve already heard many stories of the ladyboys there and how prominent they are. I’ve also been warned about being very careful there, because you don’t know whether you’re pushing your dick into a “real” or “fake” vagina 😆 I don’t have the exact comment, but one of the comments posted up on a forum (regarding Bell Nuntita as a transexual) said something along the liens of, “If you’re going to have sex with an ugly girl, mind as well have sex with a ladyboy!” and also I found this funny but true quote…:

Bo Wang: I’d totally hit that.

Elijah: Yeah man, same here.

I mean really, if you’re going anal with a lady or lady boy what’s the difference?

I’d tap that ass (with a condom of course).

You know you would too…

So although one would think that being a straight male, we’d automatically be repulsed by the thought of having sex with a ladyboy, the idea may not be all that far-fetched. So there you have it, a bit of understanding into the ladyboy culture (a very SMALL understanding at that) and also that this is quite “common in Thailand. I would not say that they’re treated “equals” to non-transsexual counterparts, but what I can say for sure is that they get much better treatment within their Thailand society than in other places in the world, especially places like Canada and the U.S. The things I even see happen here locally and the segregation and mockery that happens to those of the LGBTQ individuals makes me shake my head. I’m sure many of you might wonder why I don’t fall into that community despite my interests in femininity, feminine hygiene and such, but I like all that stuff because I’m a heterosexual male who LOVES the female body 😛 not so much that I “want to be one” 😀

Are You a Whipped Man for Taking Care of Your Wife?

Awww... aren't those plush tampons cute? I gotta get some!

While reading another blog on the topic of guys (mainly, husbands) buying his wife’s feminine hygiene needs, I was met with this interesting comment:

Grown man? Your homework is teetering dangerously between grown man and whipped man. :-P For example, I don’t mind going out to shop for my wife’s feminine needs, but tell me why most people in the store, including women, look at me like I’m whipped. I think one guy even made the Chandler Bing “Whoopa” sound.

On this note, I think gender rights activists are going to be fuming, because the above is exactly the reason why even in today’s world there are some topics, such as menstruation, that cannot come out into the ‘open’ – because it is so attached to a specific gender. Yes, those born with female-sexual organs and reproductive systems will be the only ones who go through menstruation, but it does NOT mean that men should not partake in understanding and management of it.

Yes... these are REAL.. but no, I do not own a pair. (REAL MEN BUY TAMPONS) - and that they do!

Why is it that a man who does something graciously for his wife… screw it, it doesn’t even matter if it’s his wife – for any guy to do this for a LADY friend or family member is chastised or viewed in such a way that he appears whipped. What happened to being a gentleman? Perhaps the person above who I quoted was at a location with all single and childless men and women, I cannot see any reason why a man cannot buy his wife’s needs without being classified as “whipped.”What happened to it be a duty of a man (within a relationship) to take care of his significant other? Yes, perhaps I’m old fashion or maybe those who are more akin to a religious background are few who still follow such things (and not meant to be degrading as if girls can’t take care of themselves), but my mom and ex’s have purchased my undergarments before, so why is it that men/women find it “acceptable” for women to buy male-items but not for a male to buy female items?

I’m just thinking off the top of my head that at least the 11 different stores I have ever bought pads/tampons from, at different locations, different times and even across-town, I have never ran into a situation where I was faced with someone who made it blatently clear that they were giving me “a look” or made rude comment/gestures. In fact, if anything, when I run into another guy in that aisle, we both give each other reassuring male-looks, as we are proud and inquisitive. Likewise, when I’m met with women in that aisle, they give me a comforting smile to let me know that I’m “just as welcome here” as a woman would be and perhaps even in the back of their mind, might be thinking that they wish their dad/brother/boyfriend/husband or guy-friend would do the same thing for them.

People are in relationships, because they have built a love and a degree of dependance on each other. Why else would you be in one if you cannot love one another and depend on each other? Yes, I can foresee in my future that my wife will not be the type to regularly let me buy her feminine needs, but I would not hesitate if she asked me and I sure as hell would not feel like I’m whipped (even if she had me do it EVERY time). I’m a man who cares/loves his girlfriend/wife enough, that I will buy even her most intimate needs – Pregnancy tests, yeast infection kits, maxi pads, tampons, vaginal wipes – the aisle is mine to conquer, so rather than perhaps seeing the next guy buying these things, you should think about how responsible, unselfish and masculine he is, not him being submissive to his female partner. Our world is full of double standards because after quickly asking some of my sexually-active girl-friends, none of the 8 I asked have said they ever got weird looks or mocks for buying condoms and are (regular) condoms not strictly for male-use?

Girl buying male-condom

Buying these products are like buying anything else so why must we “label” these things? People often create grocery lists and then give them to their significant others for purchase. Hrm.. apples, crackers, noodles, rice, milk, eggs, bread, maxi pads… wait what, maxi pads? Why is it that we cannot see it just like the items previously listed – is it because there’s a GENDER assigned to the damn product? Is this world going to start being like, “beef is a male meat” and “chicken is a female meat” and then when I go to buy chicken, people are going to give me funny looks?

Maybe it’s just luck-of-the-draw or horribly uneducated people in the shop that this fellow happened to be in that would draw such gestures, mockery and criticism. I for one, even without a female-friend with me, have purchased feminine hygiene products without such encounters. Maybe you could call me lucky, but I think there’s a major issue when people think being a selfless man is considered being whipped. When your wife tells you to sit and you sit, to bark and you bark, and to pee and you pee… THAT’S when you’re whipped, not because you’re a man for loving her and fulfilling her menstrual needs.

To end this on a slightly amusing note…. Chinese guys should NEVER hit women 😛 (or well, any guy for that matter…) – there IS a moral to this video.. listen for the part where he describes “a real man” 😀 :

I am not endorsing the activity shown in the above video. Furthermore, this is not a representation of the type of person I am. This video has been posted strictly for laughs. You are not obligated to watch this movie if you are easily offended.

*A man should never hit a woman!*

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