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Post-Pregnancy Information for Men

Hi Again,

Time again for another round of period-related information… or maybe rather, it’s not exactly menstruation, but you may call it a “related-topic.” Today’s topic is on post-pregnancy. This is probably one of the topics that I do not have a large knowledge-base on, however, I always try to do research before making a post, so I hope this information will be accurate and informative. As usual, if there are any mistakes or considerations you would like me to make for this post, please let me know!

After child-birth, it is especially important for men to become involved in your partner’s health. After all, pregnancy is a very body-intensive process and therefore, you should definitely be a man and spoil your girl as if there’s no tomorrow. After all, the creation of this baby should be a testament to your loving relationship and your child is a production of your commitment to each other for life. Holy, do I sound like an old fart with an old mentality or what?! Of course for us flow-lovers, what joy is there to hope that your partner’s period returns soon as we’ve been missing the fun of it for 9 months already! (Although I doubt your partner misses it, lol) – Following pregnancy, resuming regular periods are a mystery for every woman.

It’s important for men to understand that after a normal delivery of a child, your partner will go through post-natal bleeding (or discharge) known as Lochia. Lochia generally lasts for 3 to 6 weeks and contains mucus, blood and placental tissue. There are 3 stages of lochia, each respective stage with a corresponding medical-name. Following 3 to 5 days after childbirth, your partner will go through Lochia rubra (cruenta) typically red to brownish-red due to the large amount of blood being expelled (expect heavy-flow) and contains a “fleshy odour.” After lochia rubra has taken place and up to approximately the 10th day post-delivery, she will undergo Lochia serosa where thinning of lochia occurs and where it usually becomes brownish or pink and is lochia flow is lessened compared to before. Finally for the remainder of discharge turns to a whitish or yellow-white colour lasting anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 weeks post-delivery referred to as Lochia alba (purulenta).

During this time, it is advisable to use maternity pads to deal with lochia as post-natal bleeding is generally a lot more than your average menstrual period. The first 6 to 12 hours after delivery is generally when most women expect the heaviest lochia discharge but it’s hard to say how often a woman will need to change her pad as the lochia flow is change based on the “phase” it is at, physical movement/position and bodily changes. At first, most women should expect to change their pad at least once every 1-2 hours and later, every 3-4 hours as lochia lessens – similar to managing ‘light’ and ‘heavy’ flow days of her regular period. In general, maternity pads are longer, softer, thicker and thus, more absorbent than the common maxi pad. Most maxi pads will not stand up well against lochia flow, therefore it is suggested that you purchase (or expect to purchase) 2-3 packs of “12’s” which should last for the duration of the heavier lochia discharge days.

In general, lochia should have the same odour as regular menstrual flow. If there is a foul or offensive smell from the lochia, the best practice would be to contact your medical professional as it may indicate a vaginal contamination. This contamination by organisms (thus the smell) may result in lochioschesis (spelled lochiostasis by some) which is the retention of lochia that should normally be expelled from the body.

Picture of a maternity pad

For convenience, you may also want to buy disposable panties for the first 2 weeks post-pregnancy as leaks may occur frequently and certainly you would not want to stain both of your favourite panties! Using well-fitting underwear is important as maternity pads require a large area on the crotch to support it. It is horribly uncomfortable and embarrassing to wear small, tight panties while harbouring a gigantic pad underneath! This is especially important if your partner has required stitches or undergone bruising to use comfortable-fitting underwear. By the end of the first and second week, it is likely your partner will be able to return using common maxi pads so maternity pads are no longer required.

As you may have noticed (sorry to the guys n’ girls who love them :|) that I have made no mention of tampons for lochia. Most medical practiontioners recommend that women do not use tampons while lochia is still present or flowing. As I’ve mentioned over and over again, the female anatomy is a beautiful and wonderful thing (much more exciting than us guy’s, har har). After pregnancy, the female body goes into a state of of involution where the uterus attempts to return to its pre-pregnancy size and condition. This process is to ensure that (under normal circumstances) allow pregnancy to occur again and thus an intricate process occurs which results in the above mentioned, lochia. During the first 6-8 weeks after delivery, consider the uterus as a recovering wound and therefore using tampons may introduce foreign bacteria into the reproductive system, heightening the risk of infection. It is suggested that resuming tampon use not be done until a postnatal check-up is performed and receiving the OK from your medical practitioner – after all, they are the experts and will know whether your body is prepared to have a tampon inserted.

It is normal for your partner to not have irregular or absent menstrual periods for a while after pregnancy. Other than your partner’s body to return regular menstrual activities, carrying out breastfeeding may interrupt the menstrual-cycle to return to normal. Breastfeeding may interfere with the ovulation process, thereby causing periods to be irregular or completely missing. Even for women who resume their normal menstrual cycle will experience more unusual period patterns which is pretty typical and there should be an expectation of heavier flow, more pain/discomfort and more lethargic than usual. Now’s the time to show some love to your woman who have spent 9 months bearing your beautiful child (or children)!!!

As a general guideline, your partner should expect to resume her regular menstrual-cycle within 9 months post-delivery. Many women do not go through regular menstruation until they cease to breastfeed. Apparently this is your body’s attempt to disallow conception of another child while your just-born child is still in his/her infancy – however, this is not to say that this is the case for ALL women. In fact, I must make a note that it does not mean your partner cannot get pregnant soon post-delivery! A lot of people make the assumption that if their partner does not show signs of menstruation that equates to a period (haha, what a great pun) of infertility. Oddly enough, your partner may actually be even more fertile than when she becomes “regular” again. You and your partner should both be aware that unprotected sex may lead to another pregnancy (if that’s not your plan). Necessary precautions should be taken if pregnancy is not your intent and the use of a condom with spermicide is recommended. Birth control or other hormonal-altering drug should not be used at this time, unless specifically authorized by a health professional. On that note, my Dad and his younger brother is only apart by 9 months and few days – so it’s quite possible to get pregnancy VERY SOON after delivery!

Here are some cases where you should contact your medical practitioner or emergency assistance immediately if your partner experiences:

  • lochia has an unpleasant smell
  • fever and/or chills
  • bleeding stays heavy and bright red after the first week
  • feel faint or dizzy
  • heartbeat starts to race or become irregular
  • soaking through a pad more than once per hour
  • large clots (> 28mm)
  • tummy feels tender low down on one or both sides

So there you guys go, hopefully this will give you some menstrual facts post-pregnancy! It’s such an exciting time so enjoy it. Think about how great it is to see your partner have to put on a pad or tampon again 😛 Hrm… maybe I’m having that flow-loving side in me kick in again! If you’re reading this for your partner, then I want to congratulate you on the new life you’ve brought to this world! I’m sure he/she really appreciates it 🙂

Your Man (or Boy) and YOUR Period. Love Him – Love You!

Guys - Do you run away from this or do you face the reality?

Guys - Do you run away from this or do you face the reality?

As promised, I’m ecstatic to have the opportunity to write about this topic. Many of you are confused probably at the title (unless you’re my regular followers who’ve read my previous “hint” on this upcoming topic), but it’s all about men in menstruation! After all, how could I not have a topic all about that eh? As many of you know, men in general are not very well versed on the subject of menstruation. According to statistics by U By Kotex:

72% of women believe that society is more open to discussing men’s health.
And 60% of those women feel that they’re expected to keep vaginal health issues to themselves.

Well it’s a good thing that the other 28% of women believe that society is equally or more open to discussing women’s health and I’m glad to be one of those guys considered by that 28%! Also…

28% of girls wish they could talk to their boyfriend, husband or significant other about vaginal health.

And although 28% seems like a small percentage, then given those statistics world-wide, that is a tremendous number of women who wish they could talk to their boyfriend, husband or significant other about vaginal health. Although this does not necessarily mean menstruation is the only key topic about menstrual health, but certainly you can imagine that within that 28% that there must be a handful who want to be able to have such conversations with their bf, hb or s/o. To put it into perspective, assuming data from EarthTrends, the female population worldwide is approx. 3,428,196,000. Although understandably, not all these females may have reached the age of menstruation or have the necessity to talk about vaginal health – there is a potential based on the above figures that 959,894,880 of females DO want to talk about vaginal health issues with their bf, hb or s/o. Stunning isn’t it, that so many females have to keep quiet on such an important life-topic to someone they’re supposed to be with for life, for better or worse?

With statistical-mumbo-jumbo behind us, being a member of a menstrual-interested community, sharing this interest of menstruation both knowledge and fetish, I can say that there are quite a few men who are actively interested in menstruation and vaginal health. Even if they’re not part of the community, I’m sure there are many more who secretly hide their interest in the female menstrual cycle, perhaps out of shame or embarassment. Suffice to say, for the many of us guys who speak openly and passionately about periods – what is there to say about us?

If you look around the internet, you will see many discussions, particularly ones created by men – that have a very negative perception of menstruation. It’s what society is so accustomed to – being immersed in an environment where menstruation is taboo and thus, causes many men and women alike to become repulsive to something nature has given the female body. Whether you believe in a greater being or biological science, the reality is that females born with a vagina and eventually reach normal sexual maturation will menstruate. To be a man, you must hate menstruation. To be a man, you must forbid your girlfriend, wife or partner to speak to you about her period or vaginal health. To be a man, you must act disgusted every time she brings such topics up. To be a man, you should not assist her in buying her feminine hygiene items. To be a man, it is inappropriate for you to have any knowledge about menstruation other than she’s bleeding, she’s bitchy and she’s in pain. How has our definition of being a man evolved to ignorance and having no compassion and understanding for our female counterparts. Should we not love them – through understanding and nurture their positivity towards their own body and natural bodily functions?

Ouchies - Menstrual pains =( We feel bad for you and want to make you feel better!

Ouchies - Menstrual pains =( We feel bad for you and want to make you feel better!

OK, so maybe I’ve kinda run around in a circle typing this post instead of getting right to the point! So, ladies, if you ended up with a boyfriend, husband or significant other who was interested in vaginal health and menstruation, how would you take advantage of something like this? I think most women’s reaction would be of utter disgust and yes, I’ve seen it happen. Usually the thoughts of, “Why would a guy ever want to know something like that?” or “Eww, even I don’t like to know about my period, why would I want him to?” From questioning most of my girls, they have a very positive sentiment towards guys who are interested in menstruation (well after all, they know about my interest, lol) or female anatomy – so perhaps I’m getting a very biased response – yet, some great understanding on their point-of-views nonetheless!

So why should you see having a boyfriend, husband or significant other who is interested in your vaginal health and menstruation as a benefit to you? First of all, I’m a believer that knowledge is power – how often have you seen someone’s knowledge be of harm to them? Perhaps one could claim that curiousity may lead you down a bad path, but that’s only if you consider it bad. For instance, curiousity IS what led me down the road of wanting to learn even MORE about menstruation and the female body. However, is that such a bad thing? Although one’s knowledge may not have any direct impact on them, having knowledge of a broad scope only betters a person! Knowledge is only bad when it is applied with the intent to hurt. For instance, having knowledge on making a firearm is not ‘bad knowledge’ BUT using that knowledge to make a firearm and hurting someone with it IS bad!

I asked my friend Sonia about what if she had a boyfriend who was interested in vaginal health and menstruation and she was knowlegdable about his interest. How would she feel? How could she positively view such an interest? Here’s what she says (with corrections to made to her short-hand typing):

  • well i would be gladly surprise
  • but that’s because i am a very open person, i want to express myself
  • and sometimes u can only express yourself about ovaries pain with your girlfriends
  • but what if your girlfriends are not there
  • and your boyfriend is there and you need to talk to someone you trust
  • you know and also people tend to say that you should share everything with your boyfriend
  • and from experience, someone who suffers from pains caused by periods, that is a big part of your life
  • i personally like my boyfriend to know about those stuff
Sharing period-related things on your mind to a guy who's well-versed in menstruation has its benefits!

Sharing period-related things on your mind to a guy who's well-versed in menstruation has its benefits!

As you can see, there can be great positivity and appreciation from a girl to a guy if he’s knowledgeable and shows interest in her body and menstruation. I understand that menstruation and vaginal health is something that is very personal, but let’s face it… if this is someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with – IS there anything concerning one’s health so much “personal” anymore? Your health is naturally of importance to both you and your life-partner!

Although I’m not big on the idea of Whisper using boy/girl relationship as a way of promoting their products… one thing they do have right is the idea that men should be involved with their girlfriend’s period in that he should be supportive and still carry out a “every day” lifestyle whether she’s on her period or not!

Leading into what another one of my friends said about health and sexual-health in general…:

  • well, i guess its beneficial for both because it’s important to learn about human health in general. Just because I’m female doesn’t mean I’m constricted to learn about women health only. If my male partner doesn’t know something about their genital health and i do know, i can share that knowledge. So it works both ways. both being knowledgeable about each other’s genital health will be beneficial for both
  • as they can take care of each other and not get diseases
  • it’s like taking care of each other

[I mentioned whether she’s thinking about genital health particularly towards STD’s]

  • more like the opposite!
  • Yeah!
  • or even cancer
  • prostate cancer is common as well
  • on menstruation, i guess it helps men understand the hormonal thing women go through, so maybe they can understand why they get irritated at times
  • why period even happens
  • and the complexity of women menstrual cycle
  • knowing is power
  • why would you not learn something that is out there for you?
  • doesn’t help the men directly
  • but any knowledge is important
  • Well, being with a woman shows that he cares for her, meaning he must care for everything she is. and menstruation is part of it
  • i wonder what Edward Cullen does when Bella is in her period (twilight)

I proceeded to link her to this picture:

Twilight - I Drank Your Blood Last Night (Think on the theme of this blog)

Twilight - I Drank Your Blood Last Night (Think on the theme of this blog)

  • I mean, why is it important to learn about planets and the universe? If it doesn’t benefit the person directly? it’s the same as menstruation
  • if menstruation is gross, we even had to learn about why we poop, and pee
  • why we fart

It’s as important for women to know about their own vagina and menstrual-health as it is for a guy who is involved with their female counterpart! After all, heterosexual males love women so much, why is it that we don’t love them as a whole, menstruation-included? Why do we run away when we see the first drop of menstrual flow come from her vagina and feel repulsed towards her vagina when all the other 26 days of the month we’re obsessed with it? Women aren’t our tools, their existence is not to be our slaves of sexual satisfaction, but they are our love and life companions and we should start showing that kind of respect for their bodies! Menstruation is but of only ONE important component to respecting the female anatomy, so don’t perceive it that is the only thing us guys should be respecting.

Girls, you can definitely take pride in knowing that if you have a significant other who is “into” periods or female health – consider yourself a lucky gal! Maybe I should not be trumpeting myself as some kind of hero or “great guy” – but certainly, I would hope to imagine one day my girlfriend will find great appreciation with my knowledge (if she hasn’t already) and know that she’s one of the few blessed with a guy who’s “on her side” when it comes to her health and menstrual-well-being! Girls should be able to share everything with their man and as a man, we should be able to provide a support net for all their worries and help them make the best decision possible when it comes to their health!

Talking openly about your vaginal health and menstrual-cycle to your significant other is important to the relationship's well-being!

Talking openly about your vaginal health and menstrual-cycle to your significant other is important to the relationship's well-being!

Suffice to say another lucky area for a gal when their guy is into menstruation is the fact he’s going to be there for you, sexually, 365 days a year! For many guys, their natural repulsion towards menstruation means that every year, there are (based on a 5-day active menstruating average) 60 sex-less days! Menstruation often causes massive fluctuations in girls, resulting in a higher libido (aka horniness) and many women who have men who won’t even go near them during that time find themselves resorting to masturbation during her period (note: when I say “resort” – it is not meant to indicate masturbation is a bad thing). Why should a guy not fulfill his regular sexual duties just because she’s on her period? Can we not find it in our MANLINESS to ensure that our loving partner is sexually satisfied whether she’s on or off her period? Women make a shitload of sacrifices for men isn’t it about time WE do the same? A good ol’ orgasm for your female partner while she’s in cramped up and totally down is a great way of alleviating her cramps and encouraging her body’s serotonin and dopamine to get to work! Orgasms in women cause the the pelvic muscles to contract as well as repeated cervix movements help relax the muscles often affected by menstrual cramps. Orgasms help us feel relaxed due to the euphoric sensation and release of “happy hormones” which may help with the general moodiness of your girl during her PMS or menstrual phases. A happy girl is a good girl!

Here’s some random thoughts in my head associated with why having a guy who’s interested in menstruation is to your (females) advantage!

  • We don’t complain when your period comes – we are happy
  • We’ll happily pick up your feminine hygiene supplies for you
  • We’ll pick up the CORRECT pads/tampons on the first try
  • We’ll pamper you (even more) and care for you, even when you’re on your period instead of running away like little boys
  • We know HOW to make you feel good on your period!
  • We’re not afraid of the sight of menstrual blood and won’t in turn have you cleaning us up because we puked
  • If you’re horny, we’ll still have sex with you because we’re man enough
  • We’ll help you track your period, not because we’re timing when to get out of your way, but because we’re excited for your next one
  • We may very well know more about YOUR menstrual cycle than you do
  • We love you 365 days in a year
  • When PMS arrives, we know the right words to say – or say none at all (as long as you’re happy)
  • We don’t mind that your breasts may be tender, your face is having a zit-breakout or you gained a few pounds of bloatiness
  • We’ll listen to your menstrual complaints happily – because we’re learning from it while you moan and groan
  • We’ll show compassion and care because we understand the effects that menstruation has on you, hormonally, physically and emotionally
  • We know how to change your feminine hygiene if worse-comes-to-worse (a REAL man should know how to do this, lol)
  • We are more likely to be more knowledgeable about your body as a whole
  • You’re beautiful to us even when you’re not-looking-the-best due to your period
  • We may or may not look forward to the day you reach menopause (I don’t 😦 – I jokingly tell bebe that I’ll have to look for a new wife when that happens, LOL)
  • We won’t squirm when we go to take the garbage out full of your bloody pads and tampons
  • We’ll encourage you try different pads or tampons – or better yet, try reusable products better for your health and environment
  • You can openly have conversations with us about your period, vaginal health and MORE – whether at home or in the feminine hygiene aisle
  • You can rely on us to teach our sons/daughters the truth and beauty of menstruation
  • We perceive menstruation positively and won’t hassle you about it
  • We are knowledgeable enough to use proper terms, PMS is not menstruation and menstruation is not PMS
  • You can be proud of us that out of all your girlfriends, you probably own one of the few guys in this world who are interested in your menstrual and vaginal well-being (yes, I said “own” – LOL)
  • We have an inquisitive mind and like to learn things… to YOUR benefit
  • We give you the best because you DESERVE the best!

Now that’s one hell of a list! See why guys who love menstruation rock too? 😀  There certainly are positives to having a guy like this, so rather than feeling that you should be repulsed at his knowledge, take advantage of the fact that he appreciates the female body just that much! We’re a rare breed and you should love that! The next time you meet a guy who’s interested in menstruation, take the time to get to know him as a person – rather than assuming he’s a pervert or weirdo. We’re human just like anyone else – we have just learned to love the female body the way nature made them to be!

S.H.E in a Carnation 康乃馨 Pad Commercial

Conventional Maxi Pads and Incontinence Pads

Having spoken to lots of friends and sometimes even internet bloggers about purchases of maxi pads versus incontinence pads, I figured I’d take the time to write a small posting regarding that. Hopefully this post will make some men aware that there is a distinct difference between pads used for menstruation and incontinence.

I’ve had several friends who’ve worked worked in drugstores and large supermarkets who have seen their fair-share of men buying the wrong product. Of course, there are men who are actually purchasing the right products for their intended purpose, but I have heard of many stories where after a period (lol) of time return to the store only to ask to get a refund/exchange for the product product required by their girlfriend/wife/daughter/mother, etc.

Poise Pads for Female Urinary Incontinence (Maximum)

Poise Pads for Female Urinary Incontinence (Maximum)

As shown in the above figure, this is a package of a well-known brand in Canada for urinary incontinence, Poise. The primary function of incontinence pads are to absorb urine and larger adult diaper versions are for absorbing feces as well. There are a variety of conditions or illnesses which lead to incontinence. One of the more common incontinence type is “stress incontinence” for women. Risk factors for stress incontinence may include, but aren’t limited to:

  • Childbirth
  • Obesity
  • Chronic coughing
  • Smoking
  • Natural aging

Stress incontinence can be simply described as an involuntary loss of urine, particularly when:

  • Coughing
  • Exercising
  • Engaging in other physical activity
  • Engaging in sexual intercourse
  • Sneezing
  • Standing
Poise pad w/ Wrapper

Poise pad w/ Wrapper

Like any disorder, incontinence is no laughing matter and can cause stress and embarrassment from sufferers of it. However, this is the intention of incontinence pads, to provide a peace-of-mind to women (and men – however they use different products) in the event of loss-of-urine. Incontinence has several levels, usually referred to as light, moderate, heavy and severe. In general, most incontinence pads are meant to tackle urine-loss only, although larger pads or ones in a diaper-form provide protection against fecal-loss as well.

In general, conventional maxi pads and incontinence pads do not carry the opposite-role well. Maxi pads are usually made to hold thicker-fluids, such as that expelled during menstruation. Incontinence pads deal with lighter-fluids well, such as urine. To a degree, both types of pads could deal with the opposite absorption-type to a degree, but will generally not “out-do” that of its counterpart. Specific maxi pads made from makers like Stayfree and Incognito claim to be able to deal with light incontinence.

Suffice to say, there are some women who have such heavy periods that they use incontinence pads – I in fact know one woman personally who has such heavy periods where she would sometimes require the use of maximum-sized incontinence pads to prevent her menstrual flow from staining her bed overnight. I guess from this anecdotal wisdom, it seems that incontinence pads work better for periods than period-pads working well for incontinence!

A note about bladder leakage is the fact that although it is common, it is not normal or an inevitability. Also, incontinence can occur at any age and under various circumstances in life. I happen to know that one of my girls suffered from incontinence when she was 14. I’m happy to report that after 2 years of diagnosis and treatment, she is now “incontinence-free” and has since then, been able to rid her cupboards of her incontinence pads.

Both period and incontinence pads are used the same, by placing it firmly in the crotch of one’s underwear to catch fluid as it is expelled from the urethra (urine) or vagina (menstrual flow). Incontinence products are not only in pad-form as mentioned, but also pantiliners, diapers, inserts or a complete underwear-replacement. Both forms of pads are also offered in winged and non-winged formats. In terms of disposal pads, they can be disposed of regularly in a sanitary-bin or regular waste-bin. For a more economical and environmentally-friendly approach, one can also use reusable nappies or incontinence articles. I think most people have a easier time washing out urine than washing/dumping their menstrual flow.

She clearly loves her Poise pads! =P

She clearly loves her Poise pads! =P

So hopefully this will help you guys out the next time you run to the store to make a purchase! Pads designed for menstruation and incontinence should be used for their intended role, unless your girl specifically tells you to buy otherwise. You don’t want to be the guy going right back to the store to have to sheepishly tell the cashier that you bought the wrong product – not only the wrong brand and absorbency – but it was completely the wrong type of pad!

Lots of Maxi Pads, Tampons and Pantiliners? Donate Them to Shelters!

Dear Valued Readers,

I have been inspired to write this post as a result of reading one in the previous weeks. The post itself was mostly centered around a man taking advantage of coupons and buying 39 packages of pantiliners. Suffice to say, this man had no use for so many pantiliners and many readers echoed my own thoughts… why not donate any extra maxi pads, tampons or pantiliners you have lying around? Having volunteered at shelter’s in the past (both genders), shelters often find themselves low on feminine hygiene products, especially if they have a larger intake of menstruating females (a la Women’s Shelter).

https://i1.wp.com/organizations.bloomu.edu/nsslha/images/womens%20shelter.gif

Women's Shelters needs your help! Please donate your NEW sanitary napkins and tampons to your local locations!

I will say though, for some odd reason, I find that many shelters but in their “needs list” that they request for sanitary pads (maxi or thin) but will omit tampons. I do not understand why, since both have their own merits, although I guess someone who uses strictly pads would not be comfortable using tampons, but those who use tampons at the very least will use pads. This never came to my mind, although if any of you work or have worked at a women’s shelter and know the “proper” answer to this, feel free to let me know!

I think when it comes to donating to shelters, sometimes these items tend to get overlooked. I know that when I volunteered (though they did not mention to the male-helpers) to female volunteers that if they could spare maxi pads to donate them. There are times when I have these great coupons that are “Save $5 on any 2 purchases of Stayfree, Carefree or O.B.” that if I catch a good sale at Shoppers Drug Mart, “$5.99 for any two Stayfree, Carefree or O.B.”  – I could actually get 2 items for only $0.99 (well plus tax and stuff) and then donate them to local shelters. I don’t live in a particular affluent city and I know there are many (although unknown to many) small shelters, particularly abused-women centers. I don’t want people to start thinking I’m a pervert or something just because I happen to know of even the “hidden” women’s shelter, but I have a lot of connections within my community who happen to sometimes have “less public” information.

https://i1.wp.com/www.hospeco.com/_images/photos/feminine_hygiene.jpg

Hospeco Sanitary Napkin and Tampon Dispenser

On a funny note, I found one particular shelter on the internet that requested for “maxi pads” and on several lines underneath, put in “Tampax”… I would hope to imagine they meant “tampon” since it’d be kind of strict to say they only want Tampax-brand products, LOL. Unfortunately, I have noticed that none of the women’s shelter needs-list I have looked at so far indicate the request of donation for any type of reusable products, but I would imagine that might be a bit too much work or too much discomfort to be used in a public shelter. I would think that if plausible, using something like Lunapads or Gladrags would help encourage re-usability of menstrual products since these women aren’t generally well-off enough to (sorry to those who may be offended by this) afford feminine hygiene products every month. Remember many of these women may be in shelters as a result of rape, physical/sexual abuse, emotional instability, homelessness, struggling single-mother’s, etc. who are in need of assistance and something as simple as those who live in a more luxurious environment take for granted, feminine hygiene products.

It dawned upon me that one time https://i0.wp.com/www.khas.com.my/khas/products_pictures/B106129.jpgwhen my friend was cleaning up his aunt’s house who passed away, he found a load of feminine hygiene products in her washroom. It did not cross our minds to donate them to charity to local shelters and instead, we gave them to his fellow family/friends. Now that I think about it, I’m sure that these would’ve been a lot better in the hands of those who are really needy. I don’t want to generalize that all women who show up in these shelters as being poor or anything like that, I simply know just from experience and listening around that shelters often lack feminine hygiene supplies because many people overlook donating such products.

The next time you happen to get free pads or tampons or even when there are good sales, don’t forget to get some extra and help the many women who are down-on-their-luck or under unfortunate circumstances, require our lending hand and products that we can spare. Don’t forget, if you’re one of those people who are considered in a decent financial position, you are a lot better off than many other! Take the time to donate to international and local charities. If you’re not in the habit of donating feminine hygiene supplies, everything from pots and dishes to monetary assistance is greatly appreciated by organizations and of course the recipients of it! With your help, we can lift at least one thing off a woman’s mind to help them concentrate on getting back up on their feet!

Although I am not affiliated with any particular charities, I can certainly thank you on their behalf.

My Weekend Stuffing My Face

Ah, another weekend gone already! Damn, two days is way to short! However, I guess I do have Tuesday off for vacation day (the last of my overtime) and then I we have Thursday off for the upcoming Canada Day!

Past Canada Day Niagara Falls, ON - Fireworks

So I have a pretty engaging weekend, in fact, I must say it actually felt long since there was so much done! On Saturday, my friends and I arranged to meet up at a Canadian-Chinese buffet. Actually to be fair, it is a Canadian-Chinese-Japanese buffet, lol. They had your usual “basic” Chinese food like battered shrimp, wonton, fried chicken, fries, salads,  desserts and etc. They also had a small selection of Japanese sushi, salmon, California and avocado. Obviously it is not a place you’d go to “impress people” but every once in a while the group of us likes to hang out for “Chinese food” at places that our parents would mock us. The price is $6.99 and while you should not expect amazing decor and perfect service, the food quality surpasses the $6.99 expectations. It was a bit of a drive since I had to go out to Mississauga (about 35 minute drive), but I think I go out there more than I hang out in my own city, haha.

After lunch, we went to a mall and shopped around a bit. I’m not much of a “buyer” of things, so I just pretty much tagged along and just chatted while a couple of my other friends bought stuff. We happened upon a store that had these crazy clearances. Could you imagine, $2.50 for a robed-hoodie (not sure if that’s actually what it’s called – that’s what my friends called it, haha). It was so cute and came in grey or blue! I really wanted to buy one for my girlfriend, only to realize I don’t know what she fits in, LOL. Isn’t it sad? haha. I supposed XS and S would’ve done it, but the last thing you ever want to do is the buy a girl the wrong size (especially if it’s too big – ‘cuz then she thinks you’re calling her fat)! I know she’d like it because it’s definitely something she would wear (based on tastes of her clothing that I pick up on 😛 – I’m not totally retarded, haha).

However, I ended up not getting it because I don’t know when she’ll get over the cold shoulders and start talking to me again 😦 It has been a month of unhappiness and partial anger – bleh. I know this time it has only been a month and a bit, compared to 6 months of last time… but still, my temper and patience has limits. I don’t understand why I give her the “best of myself” and my happy-face but she wants to see my anger and vengeance side so much. I thought most people would much rather see someone happy than when they’re a volcano waiting to erupt. I suppose if I could answer every question about what/why people think the way they do, it’ll be the day I can answer the meaning of life.

The Blind Side (2009)

Anyways, we returned to my friend’s house and we all watched a movie. Most of us fell asleep on the first one because we all felt fatigued after a buffet lunch! My friend’s boyfriend had to go to work, so the rest of us watched Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. This was the first time ever that I thought Sandra Bullock was so damn attractive – perhaps enhanced by the role she played in the movie. Watching Sandra Bullock throughout the movie was just ‘wow’! You might think that most of us watched this for “the hot woman” – but hardly, as the movie was actually picked by a girl and there was no revealing clothing or suggestive scenes. I’m not sure whether a movie like this would fall under the category of chick-flick, but I thought it was one of those movies with your typical “I want to cry”-happy endings. None of us fell asleep during this movie because it was great and probably because we were more awake now that we had our little snooze during the previous movie.

One of the girl’s were completely exhausted and then I ended up finding out that she was on her period and she tends to be more tired when that happens. Unfortunately having some previous health issues a few years ago, whenever she has her period and loses blood, she is not as energetic and easily-tired out. She didn’t tell me but I ended up finding out when I went to the washroom, the wastebasket was stacked up high with wrapped up pads and tampon applicators. It had been quite a few days since she got it and she barely had the mood to tackle emptying out the garbage. I offered to empty it out for her and bring it to the garbage chute, but she blushed and said she wouldn’t want me to have to get so close to her “dirty things” – not that I would’ve minded anyways. A few minutes after the 2nd movie ended, her boyfriend came home so we spent a bit of time decided what to do for dinner.

Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side

We all decided we wanted to go to Denny’s, since it was my friend’s fav and after all, we have to spoil her when she’s on her period (lol – I don’t think anyone else knew, just me… but I was enough to “sway the votes” haha). This is my first time trying Denny’s and it was excellent. The last time I saw it was in Niagara Falls and I’ve never had the chance to eat there (since we usually do a picnic or buffet there), so I finally got my chance 😛 Is it bad when I spoil my girls and girlfriend when they’re on their period? LOL… tsk tsk. I really wanted to try the milkshake there, but it was $4.29 (geezz) and it was like 9PM already so I really didn’t want to get too full and kill my daily calorie count (although the lunch buffet probably massacred that already :lol:).

As we were driving home, we couldn’t decide whether to call it a night or not. It was about 10:30 and their hot-tub/sauna/pool closes at 11, so we decided to soak ourselves for half an hour. I didn’t bring my shorts but luckily her boyfriend had one I could borrow and they had plenty of spare towels. We enjoyed our 1/2 hour steaming the fat outta ourselves due to spending a whole day stuffing our faces with food. It was about 11:20 when we got back upstairs (she lives in a Condo). I asked her boyfriend if I could “borrow” his girlfriend for a bit because I really wanted to take a walk outside just to spew about things and my relationship problems to her and listen to her worldly advice. We walked two condos over, which happens to be the same one where I dropped off my girlfriend last time to her friend’s. It was wonderful, I smiled and felt really happy. I remember the night I dropped her off after a beautiful dinner in Mississauga followed by a great weekend for the both of us. She was so cute as I got her luggage from my trunk and gave it to her. I remember the smiles, the warmth, her beauty, her shyness with not knowing how to ‘end the night’ and how happy I felt inside. I cannot wait until I can feel that same happiness again. We talked for a bit and then returned to her place. It was almost midnight but everyone was still up for a few rounds of The Beatles: Rockband, so we played that. We were surprized we managed to get through it without getting a call from security for disturbing the peace. We did try to tone it down of course out of courtesy of other tenants. I did vocals as usual and even attempted expert-mode (which I did successfully :D)!

One of the girl’s just crashed and we all decided it was time to call it a night. We all thanked them for hosting the party (rather casual one) and we all took our ways. I had to go pick up my mom from my aunt’s house, then headed on home. It was just shy of 2AM as I got home and I only spent about 1/2 hour on the computer mopping up from missed Facebooking, Twittering and MSNing as I had a ton of messages I needed to reply to… but, a few of them I left them for the next day since they weren’t urgent. I had no energy left to update MiM, so I apologize to those who received late replies from me 😛

Today I did not do much expect wrap up some paper-work for my business and play games on the computer. I woke up early to talk to Amy on Skype before she had to go to sleep and then my mom dragged me out later in the evening to mow the lawn and do some gardening. I painfully had to chop yet another (miniature) tree down and it totally killed me. We have this really shitty compliment of tools which aren’t “fit to do the job” … a 15 year-old axe that isn’t even sharp anymore. If you were to hit someone with that axe, you’d likely do more blunt damage than slashing damage. So this small little stump and it took me like 20 minutes to break through it. Also, it was low to the ground so I was crouched all that time and causing me to get some massive leg cramps. I thought it was really stupid because my mom sometimes likes just to “waste my time” as the stump didn’t need to be removed. NEED – being the keyword. I should mention that even being clothed in thick material and doused in mosquito-repellant, I still managed to get TWO black-fly bites square on my back and it’s HUGE – I haven’t even scratched it yet! I get annoyed with staying out too long because of mosquitoes, not because I dislike being outside.

Having done all that made me hungry, so as she made dinner, I didn’t have enough time to start a game with my friends yet, so I decided just to sit there and daydream about my girlfriend (lol… shhh…). I equate this to the way that Poh Ching just goes gaga over Taylor Lautner and how impossible it is for a guy to be as perfect as him… and I think how impossible it is for bebe to be so beautiful (inside AND out) that it blows my mind. Sometimes I even let out (MANLY!!!) giggles and yelps when I think of all the cute things she does and how awesome it is that she’s rather shy, LOL. I don’t even know what I want… do I want a shy girl or an outgoing girl? 😆 Men eh, we can’t make up our minds!

So yep… here I am, typing this now. I gotta get back to my TVB drama, so I’ll update here again soon! I’ve been working on getting the media transferred over to my Youtube account so that I can start sharing playlists and favourites on here. It’s hard to integrate it to here because of media restrictions for the “unpaid” version of WordPress, but oh well, I’m sure I can get around it!

Toodles for now, night everyone.

Addenum to PMS/Menstruation Differences Post

I decided to plop some pictures into my previous post regarding PMS and Menstruation, added a bit more content and a bit of humour! As promised, the picture of what 9 tablespoons of menstrual flow looks like (lol, don’t worry – it’s just water) has been added. I’ve also had a spark of ingenuitiy (which rarely happens) to calculate how many tampons it would actually take to absorb one period worth of fluid! Cheers.

https://meninmenstruation.wordpress.com/2010/06/03/be-informed-know-the-difference-pms-and-periodmenstruation/ (Updated Jun 4/10 @ 5:46PM EST)

[Commenting has been disabled on this post since there’s no point]

Be Informed: Know the Difference! PMS and Period/Menstruation

Hi Everyone,

Today, I’d like to take this opportunity to demystify the difference between PMS and menstruation. Often, both males and females use these two terms interchangeably, but not knowing that they mean a completely different thing. Rather than throw medical terminology or a dictionary definition to you, let me convey to you my understanding of PMS and menstruation, from a lay-person’s perspective. PMS is said to affect approx. 30% of menstruating women.

PMS 24/7!

PMS, or Pre-Menstrual Syndrome covers a large scope of physical or emotional disturbances in a female before the arrival of menses. Symptoms of PMS include, but aren’t limited to, depression, irritability, crying, oversensitivity, and mood swings.Insomnia, fatigue, aches, breast tenderness, bloating, cramps, constipation and headaches are common physical conditions which PMS-affected females may undergo. It should be known that not all women are affected by PMS. I should highlight that the “P” in “PMS” being pre means that these symptoms happen before menstruation, so therefore, the terms PMS and menstruation should not be used interchangeably.

PMS generally occurs after a female ovulates and ends either shortly before or when menstrual flow begins. More specifically, PMS symptoms are attributed to large fluctuations of hormones, most notably, progesterone released during the luteal phase of the menstrual cycle. As this phase comes to end, progesterone drops-off and the menstrual cycle comes to an end, resulting in menstruation (us flow-lover’s favourite time!!!) where endometrial blood is expelled from the body via the vagina. There is a more severe form of PMS called Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder or PMDD, affecting approx. 3-8% of women. In general, both PMS and PMDD affect a woman’s quality-of-life, however, certain nutrition consumptions, stress-levels and predisposed factors may make PMS/PMDD more severe from one woman to another.

Menstruation is used to describe the beginning of a new menstrual cycle and usually lasts from 3 to 5 days. Menstruation is considered to fall under the “normal” range anywhere from 2 to 7 days. The uterine lining is formed upon every menstrual cycle and needs to be expelled from the body when conception has not occurred. At the start of every menstrual cycle, the uterine lining and decomposed egg exits the cervix, into the vagina and out of the female body. The flow which comes out of the body is often in the visible form of blood and/or clots (may or may not indicate health-issues). The amount of menstrual flow throughout actively menstruating days vary from woman-to-woman although the average loss of blood per period is only 3 tablespoons with an average fluid loss of 6-9 tablespoons since tissue and mucus from the endometrium also comes out with menstrual blood.

This is 9 tbsp or ~133mL of liquid looks like - the "upper end" of what the average menstrual flow of one period consists

Let’s do some quick math! According to the FDA, tampons fall under 5 classifications based on absorbency. “Ultra” tampons are rated for 15-18 grams of menstrual flow. (Note: Mind you, these are VERY rough calculations since conversions between volume/weight is always a nasty thing to do, but it will give you a light concept.) 5 grams is approximately 1 teaspoon. 3 teaspoons is equivalent to 1 tablespoon. Assuming we use the “lowest end” of an Ultra-absorbency tampon absorbing 15 grams of flow, that is 3 teaspoons which is equivalent to 1 tablespoon. If the average menstrual fluid loss per period on the highest end is 9 tablespoons, 9 Ultra-absorbency tampons are enough to absorb all of your period. Please take due caution as I am not recommending this as tampons should be used according to the instructions in the leaflet as well as hygienic practices. Unfortunately, I don’t have an Ultra O.B. tampon so I can’t display the size of it, so the box will have to suffice (as shown below). Maybe I can borrow one from my ex next time I see her… HAH… hope it make her happy that I didn’t post another brand instead 😛

O.B. Tampons Ultra

Menstrual flow is not only expelled by force of gravity, but also the contraction of the uterus which helps force decomposed waste/menstrual flow out the body and thus, may results in abdominal discomfort in menstruating women commonly referred to as cramps. The menstrual cycle may not be very accurate for women who have recently reached sexual maturation, the age of menarche. Usually it takes 1-3 years before a woman reaches the stage where the menstrual cycle becomes regular. It is not unusual even for women who have had their menstrual cycle for many years who are not regular or may fall outside of their regular schedule.

I certainly hope in the future this is not the way I find out my wife is pregnant. There are much better ways of congratulations... LOL.

Most notably, sexually-active women may fear pregnancy (unless they want a child) when their period is late or perhaps may signal underlying health issues. Nevertheless, periods are rarely 100% accurate and flow will vary even from one menstrual cycle to another.

As you can see guys (and girls I suppose), PMS and menstruation are two different things and although both are “related” since PMS happens prior to menstruation, menstruation CAN exist without PMS-related symptopms. So the next time, when someone talks to you about PMS and menstruation, make sure they are using the right term to describe the right thing! Don’t you think you’d impress your significant other more when you use the right word to describe what she’s going through? I think so 😀 Hopefully this will also provide you with a working-knowledge of PMS and menstruation and to demystify misinformation that often gets injected into male minds about what-is-what!

Cheers. 🙂

[This post will be checked by one of my ex’s due to her medical expertise for accuracy :P]

Men’s Guide on Messy Menstruation

Hi Guys,

For those who are involved with a female partner/spouse or even a daughter, I’m sure at one point or another she will likely encounter period leakage, either through an unexpected start of menstruation or leakage as a result of a misplaced/overflowing feminine hygiene product. There are of course women who have a period accident and think of it as no big deal and if that’s the case, kudos! However as a guy, you have the role to ensure that your female companion or daughter is not embarrassed or ashamed at what happened. Period accidents are common whether you know it or not and women may simply not choose to share that type of intimate detail. However, as a husband/boyfriend or as a father, it is necessary for you to understand and know how to deal with such accidents when they occur. Period accidents unless it is negligence are often uncontrolled and should not be labeled as being “her fault” because IT HAPPENS. To spare you guys from throwing up, I’ll omit any pictures that I originally wanted to put up regarding period stains.

Dakota Fanning - The Runaways

To elaborate, in general, I consider a period accident to refer to a situation where a woman menstruates on an unintended area, in most cases, their panties/underwear. Accidents can often vary from small to large accidents, depending on the degree and area of saturation, which are often determined by the location of leakage, the cause of leakage, the material where the leak occurred, the amount of time before the leak is found and also the level of flow which was leaked. Leaks that have the largest impact are usually those that occur during sleeping hours since one may not notice the leak until she wakes up. Also, period accidents may not be very noticeable at first if it’s just a bit of damping (since a pad generally has a degree of dampness to it), but if it leaks in the right place it may go undetected until it “shows” out external clothing. This is often a mortifying moment for a girl, so as a partner, you should definitely provide her a way to avoid prying eyes such as giving her something to cover it up or even buy her some clean articles of clothing for her to change.

Lady Gaga - Tampon String Performance

Period stains can happen anywhere and anytime (assuming she’s menstruating). Period accidents that involve a sudden start in her period can usually be avoided by keeping an accurate track of her menstrual cycle. Most girls do this so it may not be necessary for you to be involved in that (unless you choose to), however, if she does not, help her keep track as that can prevent an unexpected start of her period where she does not have any feminine hygiene products available or already “on” to prepare for her start. However, some girls even before they start being to have ‘period symptoms’ where they experience certain feelings in their lower abdominal where they have an idea that their period is about to begin, even without doing explicit tracking. The method of tracking a girl’s menstrual cycle only works well if she is already “regular” and does not have irregular cycles. The use of pantiliners or a small pad is advisable when the beginning of menstruation nears.

Alternately, period accidents occur when a feminine hygiene product is not placed in the correct spot (or gets shifted as a result of moving) or if the product is over-saturated. In cases like these, accidents may be avoided by choosing a higher absorbency product or changing more frequently. For pad users, using tighter underwear which helps keep the pad closer to the vagina will help reduce the “space” in between the pad and vagina, preventing the flow from landing on an unintended target. Understandably, women cannot “control” how/where the flow comes out (even if the only exit-point is through the vagina). Putting a pad in the correct spot, where flow is likely to contact at the “strongest” point pad is advisable, although this takes experience over-time to figure this out. For tampons, finding one that contours to the shape of the vaginal canal is an excellent idea. However, like ANY product, over-saturation can and will occur, so knowing how long a product will last or keeping a good eye on it will prevent a period accident from occuring. Using pads with wings can be good or bad because with wings, it MAY prevent side leakage… although at times, having the wings actually CHANNELS the leak to happen – so, I shall reserve my comments on whether it is better to ues pads with or without wings. Pads are a bit more eaisly checked than tampons. The trick to knowing the saturation of tampons is to slightly tug on the string. If the tampon comes out with ease, then it has already reached a point of saturation where it will smoothly slide out. If there is resistance, the tampon is still ‘dry’ and does not need to be changed (unless it has been used for a period of 8 hours or for hygienic reasons).

There’s a few things that guys can do OR offer to a girl in regards to period accidents such as…:

  • Consider using overlapping pads for overnight to allow more protected coverage area
  • If a woman is in too much pain, learn how to change her feminine hygiene product for her – yes, it is not “pretty”, but you are a MAN
  • If she’s prone to leaking at night, lay down towels, use old sheets or plastic/vinyl padding so that a period leak doesn’t get onto the bed itself and make cleaning easier
  • Find some old pants or panties which you don’t mind getting leaked on, use them during your period
  • If you are tasked to do her laundry or she needs assistance to get out period stains, soak the garment in cold salt water and then follow it up with bleach (if appropriate for material/colour). It is important to not use the dryer when still getting out period (blood) stains. Using hot water may cause the blood to set into the fabric.
  • When it comes to period stains, it is always best to tackle it while it is still wet. The longer a stain stands for, the harder it is to get out. Avoid using chemicals to remove period stains as a good mixture of vinegar works well
  • Wear panties that are darker colour and nylon as it is the easiest material to clean
  • If you require intervention from cleaners, first try to use environmentally-friendly dishwasher liquid as it helps break-down the blood stain’s chemical bond
  • Use alternative products like menstrual cups, sea sponges or cloth pads which generally last longer than conventional pads/tampons
  • You could try using incontinence pads or underwear (Poise Pads/Tena Pads) which have an extremely large absorbency capacity
  • The last resort would be to use chemical cleaners or detergent
  • Use a combination of pad + tampon for those with extremely heavy flows… however, those who plan on sleeping more than 8 hours should be aware that they will need to get change it to prevent the increased risk of TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome)
  • Try using hydrogen peroxide

[I swear I had a few more things in my head and after dinner, I totally lost track… will fill it in once it comes to my mind]

Dear Prexus Swyftwynd

Kindly allow me to play “Aunt Agony” for today ;P

1. How do you personally differentiate the phases of dating? For instance, before two people officially commit to each other, is it still referred to as dating? What would be the appropriate “description” you would assign it? I’m referring to the courting process where two people have not necessarily committed themselves, although there may be a degree of exclusivity. Would you consider the label of dating assigned only when two people are boyfriend/girlfriend, boyfriend/boyfriend & girlfriend/girlfriend?

Technically, “dating” refers to when a person makes time exclusively for a particular person. You could date your friend for a movie, date for a business-cum-lunch meeting, or date a special girl/guy romantically 😛 “Date” does not necessarily mean you only see a particular girl for some time. Some people date multiple girls/guys romantically. To me, a “date” does not imply that I am being in some sort of or the beginning of some romantic relationship, just that I am making time to meet someone. I could substitute the word “date” with “meeting”.

Which brings me to the next question….

2. What’s the best way to depart from the end of a date or even something casual? Recently, I ashamedly say that my leaves at the end of an event, I often cannot find ways to depart gracefully. I have always considered myself a gentleman, but I’m starting to question that. I struggle to depart from the girl in a proper manner as often I will leave hastily to avoid myself from being attached and overly affectionate. Anyone who knows me will know I really enjoy physical affection, especially at the end of a date. Do you have a preferred way of ‘saying goodbye’ or have expectations of how a guy should say his goodbye when they are not at the stages of physical affection yet? I am embarrassed, because I’ve never had this happen to me before… with all dates I’ve had, there was always been a degree of physical contact, even on the first date. In general, my dates have always been girls out of my “good friends” (or girls I’ve known for a LONG time) list.. that’s why there’s never been a lack of contact-comfort with each other and I’m not sure how to handle girls who aren’t like that.

Use your mouth. I don’t mean a kiss on the lips, but try something simple and sweet, like a peck on the cheek. Kiss her like you kiss your Mom. Affectionate but not asking for anything. Tell her how much you like her, how cute you think she is. Or while walking her up to the doorstep, or in the car (while you’re driving – preferably a few minutes before reaching her place) – lightly clasp your fingers around her hand – just for a moment, so she will be startled, yet not enough time for her to pull away because you have released her hand before she knew what happened. So you get to show her some physical affection, yet in such a way as to not make her feel uncomfortable. DON’T then tell her how much you love her bla bla bla. She can TELL by your fleeting gesture. If she makes an unhappy face, give her an small shy smile. SHY smile, not LECHEROUS smile lol.


3. When it comes to sleeping with someone, do you believe that it requires the same comfort-level as having sex? I consider sleeping to be JUST sleeping and nothing more. I have slept with girls before, on the same bed, but without any required sexual-contact. Do you believe that in order for you to feel comfortable enough to sleep with someone, that would also be the same comfort level you would need to engage in “other” activities?

For me, sleeping with friends is fine. Same bed, same couch, is fine. We love doing everything together! *starts missing her wacky friends* Just NO BODY CONTACT, be it male or female bedmate, sexual or not.

4. This might sound stupid… but how does one resist the temptation.. or maybe the word is enticement of being physically affectionate to a girl (or boy, if that is your case) you are ‘with’? When I’m to the left of her, I often want to hold her hands. When I’m to the right of her, I often want to put my arms around her shoulders. When I’m behind her, I often want to hold/hug her from behind. However, when I’m in front of her, I find it very rude that I’m walking ahead and ignoring her… at the same time, that’s the only way I’m out-of-each from the temptation of expressing my feelings for her through physical contact. I want to be polite and gentlemanly while maintain my sanity. I would not disagree if you said I lack self-control – because when I’m with her, really, I do.

Well, you could stifle your affection for her for a few dates. Be aloof, be cold. I know it’s hard, but it’s the only way for her to realise “Hey, some thing’s missing! Some thing’s up with him!” Then she will ask, “What’s wrong? How come you’re so different?”

THEN you explain to her your dilemma. Do NOT use the term “lack of self-control”. Emphasise However, when I’m in front of you, I find it very rude that I’m walking ahead and ignoring you… at the same time, that’s the only way I’m out-of-each from the temptation of expressing my feelings for you through physical contact.” .


5. What’s the best way to approach the issue of buying something for her? I want to buy her things sometimes, but I always want it to be a surprize. However, I am a very practical person and would not want to purchase something for someone they will not use/appreciate. Most people would say, “Well, you should know what she likes…” – but honestly, girls have different expectations every 6 seconds, so rather than making a “guess”, I want it to be a well-informed decision. Is it tacky to take her to the place where you want to buy her something and ask? (It isn’t a wedding ring… by then though, I sure as hell should know what she likes!)

Nah, don’t do bring her to the place and ask. Try to gather her interests and what she needs or wants by chatting with her, do it in a roundabout way so she doesn’t know you’re planning of buying anything for her.

For example, “My friends were thinking of buying a farewell present for a long-time female friend, what do you think we should get her?” or “Recently I watched this drama where this girl got a gift from so-and-so and she wasn’t too happy so she chucked it in her closet and forgot about it, and it’s her birthday present! What kind of present you think would suit a girl with her personality?”. Be creative. 😉

If she does pick up on you, you say “Huh? Uh, I wasn’t thinking of buying you anything – I know you’re not that kind of girl.” I know, it’s a little bit of an ouchie – but what’s a lil ouchie for the smile that brightens every bit of your being? 🙂

6. Is it reasonable to want/ask for a date at least once a week? Although I prefer more, she is occupied with school/homework or simply wants to watch her shows/relax/sleep. I try to get her to become more open with the idea of frequent, but short time spent together, to help build enough comfort/topics to talk about. Would you consider once a week to be too long or too short of a time-span?

Once a week is A-ok. More often and soon you may run out of things to talk about. I know it doesn’t seem that way now, but trust me, it will be that way sooner or later – what’s the rush? Give her time to miss you! Time waiting builds excitement! ^^ One of the long-term couples I know (6 years+) only meet up once a week – or twice if time permits – but keep in touch by instant messaging, short and sweet phone calls, text messages and such. If you want to SEE her, there’s always Skype 😛 I know, why Skype when you can just drive over? But hey, Skyping is silly and fun – it’s the small silly things that make a relationship sweet and romantic. “OK, since you don’t want to date me, I’ll date you online then!” – lame jokes like that. 😉

Code Red – Men’s Perception of Periods Compacted Into an App

Was looking through some blogs today, and noticed someone (a male.. obviously) advertising this “great” iPhone application called CODE RED. You can see more details about it here, of some which I will cover.

The whole idea of the program is to alert guys of the impending arrival of PMS and a woman’s period. Of course it also covers the various stages of the menstrual cycle from “start to end” – Post-period phase (When everything returns to normal after menstruating), Horny phase (Her hormones are high, time to start banging), PMS phase (Keep your mouth shut), Ovulation phase (Time to start making the kiddies), and On-period phase. While this application seems to have more of an “amusement under-tone to it, certainly, it is a good representation in how the majority of men view menstruation. I can’t say I didn’t chuckle at some of the “notifications” that came up.. like this one for instance:

Not my phone...

and also when the red-tide hits the shores…

I prefer saying "cute" over "sexy"... uh oh.. Bebe's going to kill me, haha.

I absolutely think a couple should have the courage to share intimate details such as this with each other and perhaps, not need to rely on an application to do it for them. I suppose if the true intent of this was a great way for couples to guess ovulation time to conceive, it would have a much more “positive” effect… but then you would use something nice like FertilityFriend. In fact, I used FF for a while to track my Bebe’s period… lol, but I haven’t opened the app for a while – I guess I should (I sure as hell wasn’t tracking on when I could get her pregnant XD). Anyways, you might not be realizing it, but looking at the big picture, men are completely afraid of his partner’s monthly visitor. Hell, not even partner, this could be anyone from mom, sister, aunt, cousin or whatever – but periods to men are a very negative thing. In most cases, guys will be pretty much stop dead in their tracks when it comes to having sex when a girl is on her period… wait, not even sex – let’s say, not even get close to her… as if menstrual blood was the plague or something.

I know this isn’t a full-out written/laid out post, but seeing an app like this makes me acknowledge the fact of why even in 2010, menstruation is such a taboo topic and something where it cannot be discussed frankly and without shame. I don’t doubt that a couple using this app could get a few laughs with the wording of the reminders, especially some of the features like reminders to buy flowers, presents, groceries, etc.

I acknowledge the fact that PMS is no fun and games, both this is true for both the male and female. Would it not be in our hearts, that we sympathize and understand what our significant other (or female counterpart) is going through at this time? Should we not be there to support her, perhaps even suck up a few hits here and there and make her feel comfortable? Come on, read this, get your act together and take care of her like you should! If you’re married, even MORE SO, because you made that vow of marriage with her. If it’s your girlfriend, let her know that you really can care for her, even before the ring goes on her finger. Why is it we fear women so much we must run away in fear when PMS or her period strikes? To quote Russell Peters, “Be a man, do the right thing!

I know in the past, I’ve had guys disagree with me and say it is probably for the best they stay away to keep out of trouble for 5-7 days… I just think it’s unreasonable, because if you think about it, over 10 years, that’s practically 720 days you’re “ignoring” her… are you willing to WASTE time like this in our already short lifespan? Learn to love your partner, because she really IS worth it… isn’t that why you’re together in the first place? PMS or bloody period or not, us guys should not be high-tailing it, because it just not right.

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