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Fulfilling Sexual Needs “On The Rag”

Believe it or not, there are women who still have (or even heightened) sexual needs during their period. I’m a firm believer that as long as you’re in the “mood” for sexual release, your period should not stand in the way. As I’ve mentioned many times, for women who suffer with cramps, orgasms have been a known form of cramp alleviation. Due to the nature of the contractions of vaginal muscles during orgasm, it helps loosen things up and sets off circulation of “happy hormones” which have a long-lasting effect. With my ex, after an orgasm, her cramps would go away for hours before they bothered her again. For many of my non-menstrual community members, many of you may be set off about pleasuring your female partner during her period. There are many non-penetrative or alternative methods to get her off, with some methods, not even requiring you to “get dirty” so to speak. It’s kind of unfair to love her vagina every day of the month other than her period days. You should love it just as much, if not even more, when she’s menstruating!

One of the things I’m told by menstruating women is that most of time, they have no mood to even be thinking about orgasming. Of course, these are all personal choices. However, for those who do have the mood, one of the spoiling factors may be the thought of making a mess. Sex/masturbation on your period won’t exactly cause your period to stop (seems like most people think water-pressure stops your period in the pool), but it’s a great way to treat your body right! I’m sure for many of us who are reading this, we know the wonders of an orgasm, so why not during your period too? Contractions during orgasm also forces menstrual flow from your cervix to come out quicker. Although I hear that it “makes periods shorter” I think I would rather safely say that it helps clean the uterus better but not necessarily whether it would make one’s period shorter. Some women even experience better and stronger orgasms during their period, so who wouldn’t want that?!

Here are some thoughts about “taking care of things yourself” which other women have shared with me that may be of interest:

  • Masturbate in the shower with whatever preferred method, there’s no mess to clean up as it goes all down the drain.
  • Masturbate through your pad/panties for clitoral stimulation – whether by hand or using a toy – the pad will absorb both your flow and vaginal secretions. When you’re done, you can just wrap and toss!
  • If you use sex toys, it can keep your hands clean, but menstrual flow may still end up going down your leg or on the sheets. Make sure you clean your toy thoroughly after use!
  • If you masturbate on a bed or like object, you can use new/old towels, bed spread or anything that will absorb any vaginal or menstrual flow from your “good” sheets/covers.
  • You can masturbate with a tampon in as long as you are not using other objects to penetrate your vagina as that may cause discomfort and pain from forcing the tampon up.
  • Masturbating with your fingers is perfectly acceptable as long as proper hygiene is adhered. Your menstrual flow and menstruating vagina is nothing to be ashamed of at all.
  • If you’re a bit concerned about menstrual flow on your fingers, you can put a condom over the finger(s) which you would insert
  • Using menstrual cups or sponges is similar to the use of a tampon when masturbating. As advantageous as they are, care should be taken not to force the cup or sponge beyond what feels comfortable.
  • Don’t neglect other areas of your body, such as your nipples which may be more sensitive during your period. There are many erogenous zones of the female body such as behind the ears, neck and thighs.

Just before I continue onto the next section, I think some people feel that the “thought” of considering masturbation or sex during one’s period is normal. I’ve read so many forum/question headers that have asked, “Is it normal to masturbate on my period?” – YES, YES it is! Masturbating ON or OFF your period is a healthy thing to do.

So have you ever considered sex on your (or your partner’s) period? If so, many of the hints given above might be a good precursor when considering “sex on the rag”. Let’s take a look at some of the following thoughts that I have concerning sex when the river runs red:

  • Oral and anal sex is an option for those who really don’t enjoy menstrual sex.
  • Mutual masturbation or foreplay can be a lead in to further sex or to enjoy a non-messy night.
  • Use old sheets or covers on top of the bed/couch to prevent stains from menstrual flow, vaginal secretion or ejaculation.
  • Care should be taken to remember to remove menstrual cups, sponges or tampons when penetrative sex is desired.
  • Certain sexual positions may minimize “leakage” of menstrual flow if you’re trying to keep things clean, experiment to find the most desirable one(s).
  • Menstrual flow can act as a lubricant as well, so it might save you some money 😛
  • Dental dams may be used for safe cunnilingus to prevent STD’s or for those who’d rather just not have menstrual flow in their mouths while being able to continue to orally pleasure their partner.
  • If you ejaculate into your partner during her period, she won’t have to worry about taking care of residue semen as it will otherwise leak back onto her pad, tampon or other menstrual product.

Of course after all this is said, don’t forget that safety is paramount. If there’s any discomfort during menstrual sex, it should stop at once. Furthermore, menstrual fluid carries viruses just like other bodily fluids, therefore both partners should be aware of each others health statuses. Furthermore, sex during her period does not mean pregnancy isn’t possible.

While I wouldn’t claim this to be an exhaustive list, it will hopefully pave the way for you and your partner to talk about whether menstrual sex is right for you. If one partner is into it and the other not, perhaps some compromise can be made. If neither partner are interested, then perhaps it gives a future opportunity to explore that avenue. If both partners are interested, then great since you’re probably well on your way already! Masturbation during one’s period can bring a heightened experience of orgasms and sexual interest. It also allows an individual to be in touch with their body and to feel comfortable with the idea of menstruation and masturbation, neither of which need to be exclusive of each other. I can understand that women may experience discomfort, pain or perhaps even lack of libido during their periods and that’s fine. I only hope to share with you my thoughts through experience and through anecdotes from others.

In a more roundabout way, the willingness to masturbate during one’s period may assist them with being more period-positive or at the very least, body-positive! Every menstruator deserves to have their bodies respected and not only cast aside just because a bit of blood is coming out (and seriously, it really is just a bit). Speaking for myself, I can’t deny my love for women (or well, womAn, but “women” in general) in their entirety, so it’d be very unfair to say, “Well I like your vagina only 20 or so days in a month, otherwise I don’t want to go near it!” I know not everyone will agree with that, but everything is worth a try at least once (or at least things which are safe to do so). Menstrual masturbation or menstrual sex can help form even a stronger relationship between you, your body and your partner – and to enhance love for periods and the appreciation of menstruation!

Female Masturbation Education

I guess doing so many posts about periods; I’ve occasionally felt compelled to read up on many things related to women’s health. I suppose there’s not all too many things that are exciting about male health, so that’s why I have little drive to write about it – or maybe it’s because I don’t feel naturally attracted to it, lol. Today, I’d like to take some time to talk about female masturbation, hopefully in an educational stance. As with many of my posts, my information is from “what I read” and also “what I hear” from my girls or from women who have in the past felt comfortable sharing this information with me. No names will be used and I will try to generalize much of this information so it is not too revealing. Furthermore, I’m going to try to avoid making this a scientific post, but rather, write this in “laymen’s terms.” Before starting, I’d like to remind EVERYONE that masturbation has nothing to do with your virginity. I must’ve stated that a lot of time when talking about tampons, but whether you insert anything or not into the vagina for masturbation purposes, it does not take away your virginity. Virginity is ‘lost’ when you have sexual intercourse, whether with opposite or same-sex partners.

So what is masturbation? Masturbation is all about pleasuring oneself sexually with or without the intent of orgasm. Masturbation is “suitable” for all ages and in fact, masturbation often occurs even in young children (whether they recognize it or not), with more prominent masturbation occurring in the tween or teen years. Masturbation is not wrong, while in some religions or cultures, it might not be acceptable. Frankly speaking, many Asian girls I know have an utter distaste for masturbation, possibly from the upbringing that to touch yourself sexually is considered wrong, perverse, dirty, disgusting, and gross or I have even been challenged with, “Why would I do such a thing? EWWW..” It is actually quite unfortunate that Asian culture – more so for Asian women – do not like to accept masturbation as a “normal” and “acceptable” thing. Things as simple as having a discussion person-to-person or from viewing forums, non-Asian cultures tend to be much more open and accepting of masturbation, amongst many other taboo subjects, including menstruation.

Masturbation is a wonderful thing for many reasons and being able to attune to one’s body is a great experience for the individual themselves. Masturbation is sometimes associated with guilt, which should not be the case. Having spoken to a few female friends before on this topic that are “against” masturbation, many see it as if they were defiling themselves or that such actions would make them feel unclean as if it would ruin their chances of obtaining a partner. Speaking for myself, I would much prefer a girl who masturbates (or has) versus one who doesn’t. This doesn’t have to do with whether she shares it with me or not, but rather, the fact that she has intimate knowledge about her own body and is willing to surrender herself to the pleasure and orgasms. Most notably, you will find that women who do masturbate and know how to reach orgasm often report more sexual satisfaction even WITH a partner, because they understand themselves. To allow someone else to pleasure you, one must know how to pleasure themselves or recognize what it feels like TO be pleasured.

Furthermore, masturbation provides for a (relatively) safe method for sexual exploration, without the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Masturbation is highly associated with those who choose to follow an abstinence lifestyle while maintaining sexual sanity. The only general dangers of masturbation would be those who do it so often where it affects a normal lifestyle or where they may use objects which pose physical risks/harm when used for masturbation purposes. Masturbation often has stereotypes associated with it and perhaps that is where some of the non-acceptances of it may stem from. I’ve heard about many “jokes” about how masturbation is for guys or girls who “don’t have a person to have sex with” or for “the losers”. You will find that many people who have partners, whether dating or married, continue to masturbate. Many people who have great sex-lives masturbate and as mentioned before, it helps enhance ourselves. I know many of my girls share with me that they masturbate regularly and enjoy trying new techniques and products. Masturbation I think really encourages fostering self-love and positive body image. By opening our body to pleasure, we give ourselves opportunity to better ourselves and that is why I truly hope women take the time to explore themselves, whether they feel a sexual-drive or not, it will open the doors to a truly wonderful experience. I always want to encourage bebe to explore herself, not necessarily because I want to push her to have sex with me, but also because I feel this self-exploration will help her heart unlock and open-up when it comes to KNOWING what the feeling of touching and intimacy is supposed to feel like and what it’s all about. She likes sleeping because it feels great so I definitely hope she’ll give herself an opportunity to pleasure herself!

Female masturbation can be achieved in one of many ways, either by the most natural method of using ones hands and fingers, or objects. Younger girls because of the inaccessibility of sex toys, often use manual stimulation or stimulation by using household objects. My ex used to use a highlighter/pen, electric toothbrush and even a pocket-vibrator. Some of my girls enjoy using hand/finger stimulation because it allows us to be in-touch with our bodies in the most natural form. Since our hands and fingers are part of us, it doesn’t require us to “carry” anything extra for the purpose of masturbation and of course it is free, discrete, soundless and does not require consumables (battery). The act of touching oneself skin-to-skin is a very liberating feeling while immersing in the ecstasy of pleasure. Household objects such as cucumbers, hairbrush handles, pillows, arm-rest and such are known to be widely available to girls who do not have or do not wish to buy sex-toys. The alternative is the variety of sex toys for girls of age or those who have an older adult who are willing to buy it for them. Sex toys are generally not sold to those under 18, but an understanding sibling, friend or even parent can certainly obtain it for them and it is not illegal to USE it. As rare as the situation may come up, I would be more than happy to buy my son or daughter a sex-toy should they require. It’s a much better alternative for them to understand their bodies sexually, respect it and have a safe output for sexual needs rather than actually finding a guy/girl to satisfy their curiosity. Whatever objects are used, it is necessary to make sure it is clean/sterile and that it is respectful to the delicate vaginal/anal environment. An object which could “break” and “get lost” within your vagina/rectum is never a good idea. Preferably the object should also be “safe” for human contact, especially for internal human contact.

Females are lucky in the sense that they have so many erogenous zones, most notably nipples, vagina, clitoris and anus. Obviously it is also possible that women have erogenous zones in non-sexual parts of their bodies and ones which over the course of time I have discovered to be quite interesting. Since I don’t want to be overly revealing about the partners I’ve had, I won’t mention their “trigger points” and also because every woman is different as to what areas you can touch to get them turned on. One thing that is or should be well known is that most women require stimulation to their clitoris to reach the state of orgasm. Many women do not orgasm through direct stimulation inside their vaginal, but rather, an interconnected pleasure via their clit which causes them to “think” they receive pleasured through vaginal stimulation. While this idea may seem far-fetched since intercourse is highlighted usually by penile-vaginal insertion, I can certainly back this statement up by referencing Masters and Johnson, which states that, “Most women can only achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation.” Most girls growing up do not discover masturbation because they put their fingers inside themselves, but most likely as a result of a euphoric feeling when they rub themselves against an object or when washing/touching their own body. One of my girls admitted to me the reason why she even found out that she can “feel good” when rubbing that area is because she was talking to her parents one time and sat on the arms of a chair and associated that rush of good-feel with that area of her body. As far as she was concerned at the time, her vaginal area has always been described to her as her ‘private part’ and for ‘peeing’ that she was completely unaware of the sexual pleasure which it brought. With all this said, certainly vaginal stimulation can bring pleasure and orgasm, but it is known that the clitoris’ sole purpose as part of the female sexual anatomy is to bring pleasure.

Now that we understand stimulation a bit, we can proceed to talk about the most common methods of stimulating. The most common method is rubbing the clit with fingers or the hand. Alternately a popular method called “fingering” is self-explanatory, where the girl moves her fingers in and out of her vagina. When using the fingering method, it is possible to stimulate the clit with a spare finger as well, thus heightening the feeling of sexual excitement. When sexual arousal occurs, the vagina begins to self-lubricate by releasing a substance used to make insertion easier. However, those who are experiencing “dry spells” or prefer addition lubrication, some women use their own saliva or 3rd party lube to help enhance the moment. Because the anus itself is also an erogenous zone, similar rubbing or insertion action can result in arousal. One can also stimulate their nipples by rubbing it or even licking/light bites. Household products are often used to replicate the purpose of sex-toys when they’re not available/practical. Sex toys are designed to target erogenous areas in a better method than what can be achieved with manual stimulation. For instance, sex-toys may be able to reach places that our hands and fingers may not be able to reach – or – may not be able to stimulate all at the same time. Vibrators, dildos, beads and clitoral stimulators are all meant to produce pleasure either from stimulation or insertion, most often a combination of both. Some products must be held or inserted into place while others can be “worn” so that it allows for hands-free operations. Vibrators, dildos and beads are usually inserted into the vaginal and meant to hit the g-spot or “shake in place” to help push against the vaginal walls to create pleasure. Stimulators are usually held on top of erogenous zones, such as over the clit or over the nipples. Alternate toys are also created for anal use as they need to vary in size and texture as to not damage the anal cavity. If you want something that is super-discrete, the shower head is a wonderful little invention.

So why is it great for girls to masturbate? With the most obvious feeling of a great orgasm for the girl and self-exploration, it is of great benefits for your future/current partner. There are many more women who complain about not being able to orgasm than men. Even women who are married and could possibly have had years of sex, may never have actually experienced orgasm. It is very sad, not only for a partner, but even for the individual herself. Sexual response and orgasms are not things that are generally “learned” from a partner, but rather, through the person themselves. This kind of relates to the whole, “in order to love someone, you must first learn to love yourself” – a statement that I’ve tried to communicate to my bebe, without seeming rash or that I’m constantly pressuring her to do more. For me, it is all about her and wanting to encourage her to accept her body which she has been beautifully given. This type of openness if she ever achieves it will be the stepping stones for our relationship as well because it opens our eyes to the many wonders of intimacy around us, giving us but a brief moment where we can be completely unguarded and absorb the pleasures of life and the world. The moment that a girl feels orgasm reaching, the pulses of excitement and the pleasure of vaginal contractions, I cannot think of anything else but breathlessness and clarity-of-mind for the girl. Some women feel their body is something to be shy of and lots admit they have never fully undressed and looked at themselves in the mirror. If they have, even a fewer portion has allowed themselves to inspect their body and let their hands move around. For many, the only time a girl will have done something like this is perhaps to do a breast exam or health inspection, but never to truly understand oneself. This is all meant to create self-love and foster self-confidence. If a woman is barely comfortable with looking at her OWN body, how can she accept a partner looking at her? Even like last night when I touched bebe’s face or as I held her, she was much too shy to look at me or take the time to savour my touches, but rather, probably felt uncomfortable with bodily contact which she is not used to or felt self-conscious.

I remember a conversation I had with one of my god-sis and she kept on insisting about this really “hot boy” she wanted to have sex with. I asked her how much she knew about her body and she said “not a lot” and I had asked her if she ever has touched herself or looked at her body. She said the only time she does that is when she takes a shower or gets dressed and that the touching is “not sexual”. I questioned her further, asking her why she feels comfortable having sex with a guy, yet, is afraid to have even rubbed herself or felt shy about exploring her own body. She kind of blinked her eyes at me, not knowing how to answer because I posed a challenge which made her question WHY she could accept another person groping away at her body but have never done it herself. If in fact she saw masturbating or exploring herself as being disgusting or dirty, why is it any cleaner when done by someone else? In the end I’m not sure if she did end up having sex with the guy (knowing her, probably), but it was probably a question she still cannot answer!

Unlike male masturbation, female masturbation is a particular taboo subject. It almost seems like males and female masturbation frequency/discovery is on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Most males discover masturbation at an early age and continues to masturbate frequently (and notoriously during puberty) until they reach middle-age where it begins to plateau. Females tend to discover masturbation later in life and the number of older female masturbators tends to be higher. This shows that in the past generation, masturbation was not discovered until much later on for women and it isn’t until later in age where masturbation becomes an “acceptable” and “normal” thing – and seen as a “slutty” action at younger ages. It is almost “freely acknowledged” that males masturbate and with little stigma attached to it, but when a girl masturbates, it’s almost like the end-of-the-world. Masturbation for women sometimes come about “through” their first sexual experience, then knowing how wonderful it feels, they begin to explore and adopt masturbation as part of their lifestyle. I think this is contrary to what it should be, because girls should first learn to masturbate then have sex. Certainly women are supressed when it comes to masturbation and it’s such a taboo/frowned upon thing that they ignore their own sexual impulses to curtail to what society expects. Perhaps women are quite sexual too and have ‘needs’ just as guys do, but because masturbation for women isn’t as highly looked upon, they resist the urge to satisfy themselves and therefore only forcing themselves to be unresponsive and frigid. This worries me as well for bebe – because she is so conservative and ‘proper’ that I think she may even be supressing her feelings of need, whether she knows it or not. Sometimes I can see glimpses of emotions from her trying to escape and I feel touched, but then when she realizes she “lets herself out too much” she pulls back in. While this is not necessarily sexual frustration that caused this, but speaking from the viewpoint of masturbation, had she allowed herself to submit to her emotions and perhaps carnal pleasure at some point, she would be more easily receptive to listening to her emotional responses and smoothly initiate relationship advancements. Clearly said, masturbation provides more than just sexual fulfillment, but fosters personal growth in many many ways!

If you have any thoughts or questions about masturbation, female or otherwise, please feel free to comment or send me an email! I’d be happy to answer them if I can, find alternate sources or perhaps point you to the right direction.

Thought Du Jour – About Men and More

So today I didn’t have a particular “subject” to write about.. but rather, will just go over some random thoughts I had in my head, and perhaps some tidbits or information – whatever you want to call it.

Men… we’re pigs, we absolutely are and I’m sure there are the few true gentlemen out there, but for the most of us, including myself probably, we can get pretty vile. Our department in particular is a male-dominated one. I was just out at lunch with my coworkers the other day, mostly middle-aged men and even many being married still have a pretty disgusting mouth for women. I always thought that men would “settle down” after marriage… I mean after all, you have a woman at home, why go bother with others? Apparently I am wrong and if anything, marriage makes a man go even more rotten, lol. Just listening to what come out of guy’s mouth really made me consider how ‘bad’ we are and I’m not trying to play like I was “the nice guy” – but there’s a point where I can tolerate ‘just being a guy’ to downright perversion.

Listening to them talk about women really put a frown on my face… why do guys objectify women so much? It’s like women are just a “prize to be won” and once you win her (e.g marriage), you stick her on them shelf (metaphorically speaking), bring her out for sex once in a while and then go mess around with other women. I have friends of many ages and of different walks of life, often opening my eyes to things I would not, will not or have not experienced. Men… are very visual creatures and we are also very easy. No, women are not easy, WE are… a woman can lure us in like pitiful dogs as they see fit. Men are easy to control, women have a constant carrot (themselves) to dangle for us and we chase after it. Talking to some of my girls, younger, same age or older, the sentiment is that men are easy creatures to control and toy with, especially if you have something they want. Everything gets us horny, no matter how unattractive or whatever a girl may be (from my heterosexual point-of-view). Age is another thing… it seems like at a younger age, you tend of like older women and there comes a point where it just begins to slide backwards and you prefer younger women. I’m glad not many people I know personally read this, but I think I will always love 18 year old girls, no matter how old I get. I’ve talked to quite a few older men and yep, sure enough, most of them as they get older (into their 40’s) shift into liking the younger bodies all over again.

Stick a couple of guys together and you can hear some pretty perverse things. I can’t say I’m innocent and never said anything. I know bebe pretty sensitive about the male-oriented things I say and so I’m extra careful about what I say to her or around her. I don’t think she understands that “it’s just a guy thing” – and that sometimes it’s a strictly a gender-based thing. Suffice to say, these things don’t apply to everyone, but certainly even science has proven attributes that are associated or commonly found in a particular gender. I enjoy hanging out with a mixture of guys and girls, because I think guys are much better behaved when women are around 😛 .. it includes me too, lol!

So last night, I had a sex-dream. This one was really vivid and when I woke up, I seriously couldn’t differentiate reality for minutes. I was thinking whether this was a dream-within-a-dream, whether it truly happened or whether I was awake. I haven’t had a dream like this in ages and it was so damn sexy. I didn’t feel very horny the night before, so I’m not sure what caused it. It was just a regular day at work, didn’t see any super sexy girls or watch anything in particular that would cause it. I’m long past the hormonal puberty stage, or at least I think so, so it was totally unexpected. It wasn’t really a wet dream or anything since it wasn’t well… wet.. (good thing, LOL), but it was pretty hot. I’m not one of those guys who have sex-dreams a lot, probably because it really takes something/someone special to really rile-me-up. I guess it was just one of those nights eh?

So one of my girls who I’ve known for ages the other day finally told me about her habits of “exploring her own body” (and this conversation was not what caused the above dream, since it wasn’t of her). It was kind of funny in the sense that as she was ‘admitting’ it to me that as if I didn’t know it already… it wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation or something and even though she’s never told me so, it wasn’t like I didn’t expect she did. Given all the things that she’s vividly talked about before, there was no way a girl who’s never explored her own body would ever be able to describe certain things and feelings. I could not help but grin because she must take me for being an airhead or something 😆 … I might not be the most perceptive person, but people often say/do things that give things away, hah.

The conversation started as a result of her complaining about how society allows men to openly express their desires and fantasies, while women are suppressed from doing so. Certainly, this is a very old-fashion thing carried forward to this generation – where women were expected to be “pure” and “innocent” – or rather that is not the word I’d use – more like “naive” and “uneducated”. She commented on how unfair it is that if you hear a guy talking about masturbation or the fact that it is “normal” and almost “expected” for males, yet if a girl were to openly express such things, it would automatically turn against her as if she was some perverse girl or nympho. It’s quite unfortunate that many societies still see many natural occurrences in females are still taboo, and on the topic of this blog, menstruation and even female masturbation. So for about 2 hours she sat there and practicality lectured me on all the “inequalities” of expectations of men and women before telling me her “secret” (still makes me laugh she thinks I didn’t know :P) – it’s quite unfortunate such actions by women are stigmatized, yet almost welcomed amongst males.

I left most of the talking to her, only because discussing such a subject in a bubble tea shop didn’t seem very appropriate, haha – least I got a drink out of it! The funniest thing was that at the end she asked me, “So tell me what you do.” and I’m like, “Hell no! Why would I tell someone who’s NOT my girlfriend these things?” lol. I don’t know too many girls who want to know more about me than I know about them! I prefer to keep it where I know more about them XD One thing that I discovered was that apparently it’s quite common for men and women to continue their own habits even after marriage. Honestly, I thought it wasn’t necessary anymore because like, you have each other to have sex with, why do you need to do it yourself? 😛 Guess I was wrong, lol… that’s gotta suck when your partner is not satisfying you though, urg!

So for the past.. oh.. say.. 9 days, I’ve been working on my own business a whole lot. It was like just 2 weeks before I leave for my vacation and honestly, I just had customers literally phone me and tell me their computer was broken or needed some I.T. services. I don’t know whether “life’s like that” because just weeks ago I was complaining about how this year’s business sucked and now all of a sudden over these 9 days, I think I’ve made about 20% of this year’s income. What the hell?!! Shit I’ve been working my ass off to make sure I finish all the work before I leave! It isn’t so much that servicing is super-hard or time consuming, but rather, I’m worried about getting all the parts in before I leave and getting the work done in-time. I have stacks of “to be paid” invoices now sitting in my box and waiting for the cheques to come in so I can clear all the accounts before I leave. On a slightly separate note, the other day I thought about how I should’ve pursued an accounting career so it would be the same as bebe’s, but then Amy pointed out a good point – that it’s better couples DON’T share the same line-of-work, hah, because then you just end up in arguments about doing stuff “the right way.” I’m content with keeping the computers running and I’ll leave the accounting stuff to bebe, lol. If you both work in separate fields, then you don’t have to worry about criticizing each other’s working style, LOL. The only issue is that I know quite a bit about accounting because it was supposed to be my “backup career” in case I couldn’t make it in computing… so now I have to try to wipe my memory of it and leave all the stuff up to her XD – I don’t want to poke my nose into it, haha, as long as I can keep track of my own business stuff and taxes, I’m happy!

And… shit, it’s 2AM, I’m totally going to sleep. Night!

Innocent Girls and Precocious Puberty

Yesterday, I had the fun of doing some massive eating. On top of getting up at 8AM in the morning to go out with a friend to eat breakfast because she needed someone to pick up/spend time with her while her car was in for repairs, my aunt/uncle also came to visit a few hours later to do an early celebration for my birthday at our nearby sushi buffet. Let me just say beforehand that it was a very filling day. Because I already knew my aunt/uncle was coming in at around lunch time, I decided to take it easy on breakfast. The breakfast was pretty expensive, $8.50 but it did have a good variety and the presentation was nice. I suppose mid-class places always have these outrageously inflated prices… I had a breakfast, not a steak lunch, lol. Not my type of place, but she chose it, so oh well. Definitely not a place I’d take my BeBe though or any girl on a date for that matter. If I’m paying those kind of prices, the décor better be stunning, like Spice Avenue or Lord Byron’s. Although I had to watch my time and make sure I was home before my family arrived, there was still a good 3 hours for E and I to talk.

My conversations as per usual, go from left, right to centre, wherever the topic ends up going. One of the more interesting and on-topic (for this blog) that came up was the early maturation of girls and the removal of once, innocent little girls. The amount of information in this world available to boys and girls these days severely cripple the innocent childhood that I and many preceding generations had, especially when it comes to topics of sexuality. For those who don’t know me well, I do err on the side of liking younger girls and by younger, I don’t mean underage. However, give me an 18-year-old girl and I’d be all over that, even though I’m effectively 7-years older than her, lol. Beyond the amount of knowledge floating around these days, you have more occurrences of puberty hitting girls at a much younger age defined as precocious puberty when it occurs before 8 years old. The earlier on-set of puberty in girls are definitely scary for the guys, haha. My friends and I have all-too-many-times looked at a girl, thought we’d take a second glance, only to notice that she definitely did not look legal. Having saw a “mature-looking” Asian girl in Kelseys the other day while eating dinner with my friend, I mentioned to him, “Hey, check out that cute girl over there.” Only for him to reply, “Dude, that girl looks like she’s still in high-school.” Ewwww. She had the full package, voice was no longer squeaky little-girl voice, she had the upper-body parts developed and the height, but the conversations they were carrying out were definitely indicative of being high-school girls. This was not the first time or the last something like this will happen.

Now of course to say the only issue of early puberty is because we guys can’t tell the difference would be truly wrong. The severity of earlier on-set of puberty for girls is that it could be indicative of existing health conditions such as tumours, social behaviour issues and effects on psychological development. While menstruation used to begin at the average of 15-years, it has now been reduced to 12.5-years and most notably is the fact that these age averages might be dropping even more as a result of early female maturation. Part of the reason why we’re hearing about so many teenage pregnancies is that this early on-set of puberty has resulted in girls becoming an earlier target of sexual interest. At such young ages, girls don’t have the mature mentality to deal with sexuality in a responsible method, thus, many are falling prey to becoming pregnant as a result of unsafe sex. To downplay the feeling of sexual arousal to boys and girls when puberty occurs would be foolish. Hormones are surging throughout the body and people do uncontrollable things. Many people claim that girls are becoming sluttier and guys look up to being players, but the reality is that during the phases of puberty, the body is extremely horny. Mind you one of the guys I used to hang out with had this really bad reputation of having to spend at least 2-3 hours in his room and it certainly wasn’t for the purpose of studying. Girls are steadily catching up to boys. Where masturbation for girls used to be a frowned-upon activity, it is becoming more prevalent and a talked-about subject between the female populace. For guys, it is almost assumed it is done, so it is even more awkward for a guy to not admit doing it.

I remember how innocent boys and girls used to be, me being one of them. We didn’t need to know those “adult things”, we played in the park, throw rocks in the pond, played “doctor” without sexual implications and knowing any better, got my first kiss in kindergarten and had no sexual urges, had a crush on my elementary school French-teacher, and wondered what cool things the vending machine on the girl’s washroom wall gave out… was it chips, pop, gum (how come they have it, and we don’t? :() The reality is that knowledge of sexuality is becoming more prevalent at younger ages and in the past year, have spent more time doing business of installing parental filtering/monitoring software on computers more than anything. I can’t remember the first time I wanted to see a female body naked, it was really a long time ago, lol. Don’t forget that years ago, such access to material was considerably harder since it was on paper-media (magazines), late night TV (was asleep already) and the internet was text-based.

This leads me to the point where I truly miss the innocence in girls. Poh Ching claims to be innocent, but I know better 😛 Tsk tsk. Is it better for our current generation to know more and be aware or is it better to know less and not as aware? Not knowing will definitely allow for a longer period of innocence within our younger generations, however, may have a “shock” value when they find out about adult-related subjects. On the other hand, knowing more and being aware has brought along the side-effects of curiosity. Sometimes the more humans know, the worse off they are, especially those of inquisitive nature. Luckily for me, all the girls I’ve dated with the exception of one have all been the innocent type… or at least I perceive them to be innocent, lol. I prefer my girls not to know too much and still have the innocent angel within them. I’m not sure whether I’d want my girls to actually understand a dirty joke if I made one, haha… I’d be slightly scared if she did, especially particularly bad ones. See how annoying humanity is – we always want the best of both worlds – innocent and not innocent, hah.

Then it makes you think does a point of innocence when you reach into your twenties that it is still “cute”? I made that point to P.C, asking her where you cross the line of being innocent to the point when you just seem retarded, lol. One of my best friends’ cousin really stirs our thoughts when it comes to innocence. They used to live together and I’d hang out at their house all the time and my friend (henceforth denoted as M and her cousin, B) and seriously B is like the pinnacle of innocence. Every time M and I would make dirty jokes or references, B would ask, “What does that mean?” For a while, M and I thought that B was just trying to act innocent and pretend she doesn’t know what we’re talking about – but that’s not the case – she was truly clueless. Even today being in her 3rd year of university, she is still awkwardly innocent, I wonder how she survives. Given how her boyfriend is constantly waiting to pounce on her (sexually), it makes me feel bad for the poor guy having such a ditzy girlfriend, LOL. Don’t think I have a problem with B though, she’s a very gentle, kind, outgoing and pretty girl – I just think that when you’re too innocent, sometimes you just become a bit socially awkward. Just these two are totally opposites of each other… the guy can’t wait to rip her clothes off and the girl is totally clueless that he’s thinking about these things (while all the other 9 people in the room can clearly see it). Not sure who I feel more sorry for 😀 There are more stories about her, but I’ll leave it for another time.

I actually had more to write about this, but I swear I’m getting old and senile (and will be even OLDER in 11 days, ewwwww). Once I slept on this information last night, by the time I woke up this morning, I had totally forgot all about the important content I wanted to include. Therefore, this entry will have to abruptly end since I don’t have an “end point” for this topic. Perhaps I will think of it and continue to update this entry if it hasn’t been pushed off the first page or simply continue on a new once. Sheesh, age hurts! Given how fast girls are reaching puberty and thus starting their periods, perhaps I should start investing money into feminine hygiene stocks as hopefully women will have more menstruating years before menopause! Let’s see how much money I have in the bank account and start looking into it, haha.

Toilets, Prostitution… all in a post?

I love how Poh Ching always manages to merge multiple topics in a single post… heck, I’m even starting to do that because of her! 😕

Public toilets.

Ohai. Here I am. Before I go M.I.A again, let me just crap a bit more here.

This post will be on the PG-13 side so kids, if you are reading this – go no further. Like those kids will listen.

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Please click on this link to help you understand the following opinion.

The statistic is sad. SAD SAD SAD. Where’d all the good guys go? Are the male population going in the reverse direction of the evolutionary line? We are supposed to get more civilized, not give in to animalistic instincts like sex. Sexing-up random people isn’t going to sow anything. Men would say that their instinct to keep sexing multiple females is in the genes. It’s biological. It’s in men to pro-create lots of babies. So what? Do we have need for one man making lots of babies now? Do we have need to build armies? The world population is getting out of hand – less space for us to live, rising prices of land.

BUT we can’t control it – when the urge comes you gotta do something about it? Instead of banging some girl (or guy, if that’s to your liking) whom you do not know how clean she really is (click link here for more info =P), or how many disco sticks she’s danced with (EewwWw yuck! Sticking your personal lil brother where another person’s brother has been? EEEEWWWWW!!!), why not stick to one privy chamber which you know is clean, and yours only, yours truly? Or if you don’t have one, per T-700 (a.k.a The Terminator a.k.a the role Arnold Schwarzenegger played la lol):

“Talk to the hand”. (p.s. One step leads to another, needless to describe la kay don’t pretend donno!)


OK, another analogy: Do you prefer to take a crap in public toilets or at home? It’s troublesome to crap in public toilets because:

1. Some idiot peed all over the toilet seat.

2. Some idiot left his/her shoeprints on the seat.

3. Some idiot forgot to flush.

4. It freaking stinks to the high heavens.

5. How clean is “clean”?

6. You do not know about the previous user – did he have a contagious disease?

7. Is that a disgusting bug crawling stealthily under the seat?

8. OMG. Is that ……………… hair? Is that – OMG OMG…….. pubic hair?!?!!! What the HELL! GAWD *stunned speechless nothing to say and move out as quickly as possible without doing what you initially intended to do in the loo*

So, that’s my view on visiting prostitutes. Dirty lah.  Sorry, no offence intended to anyone. Maybe some are quite hygienic, I don’t know. Come on la, at least make it “long term”. Look at my idol, Madonna and her model toy-boy boyfriend. She can afford a troop of toy-boys but she prefers to keep just one, young, handsome boyfriend. Clean mar. You know he isn’t sticking it in any other privy chamber rented out belonging to someone else.

I totally LOL’ed at some of the post tags I had to put in this…

I dunno P.C…. you are the one who “left something red” on the counter for your brother to find, lol… not sure who’s the one dirty wor XD

Women Connecting with Nature and their Own Bodies

Yesterday, I found a great article on a woman who blogged about her wonderful experiences with her body which she recently discovered. While my articles have tended to be aimed for men, this blog might be of interest to both males and females. For the males, this is useful information and for the females, something you might want to try if you often suffer from cramps or menstrual discomfort. I’ve touched briefly on this subject through one of my previous posts but given how inspired I was by one of the blog-authors of Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross in her article describing her experience. I’m always extremely grateful when I see big-time book/magazine writers or popular authors respond to me because it gives my blog a sense of worth and that my responses are valued by such prestigious individuals. Much to the resistance of the girl I am seeing (wish I could call her my girlfriend) who doesn’t particularly “like” the fact I enjoy the female body, including menstruation, I feel very attached to my blog and many of its readers. My blog has been around for less than a month yet has almost achieved a thousand hits and this is no less my hard work than all my visitors and all the great feedback I’ve been getting from popular individuals! Anyways… on to the rest of my blog.

This world is slowly (and I say SLOWLY) beginning to bring menstruation out of the shadows and into actual discussion. Compared to when I was a child, menstruation is definitely discussed more openly, but still, this discussion tends to only flow (pardon the pun) between females and males are still unfortunately sheltered from truthful, informative and realistic discussions about it. When a parent is watching T.V with a child, what does he/she do when something inappropriate comes on the screen? Most would try to cover their child’s eyes/ears from it or change the channel. Likewise, this same “shielding” action is applied to education about the female body to males. What do guys love about the female body? Vaginas, breasts, they are great – I don’t deny it… but is that ALL we should know? Doesn’t that make guys a bit dense that we (heterosexual males) love the vagina so much but that on the first sight of menstrual fluid we run away? When’s the last time you saw one of your male friends watch UFC or another “realistic combat match” where there’s blood pouring out every pore of the combatants face and not even cause a cringe but if you were to ever mention “period”, “menstrual” or another like-word, you get the dirtiest look ever? I used to be ashamed of my interest in the female body and menstruation and I might very well be labeled as “creepy” or “perverted” – but whatever label you want to give me, I can tell you there is nothing more that a mature woman wants from a guy is one who knows how her body works. From the start of this blog, I have conversed with other bloggers who have given me lots of positive feedback and praise that I’m reaching out to touch many males who truly should take some time to love the female body for ALL it is worth, not just the fact that there is some nice bouncy parts and a hole for us to feel good and whether they want to accept it or not, menstruation WILL exist.

Now, let’s talk about masturbation. On its own and between guys, this is one of the topics that we OFTEN talk about and you might not want to admit it, but we do. I have had countless conversations with my guy-friends about it, exchanging the techniques, our experiences, who/what we fantasize about and everything about it… for guys, this is something we gloat about to each other! Being part of many communities/forums now and in the past, men are more likely to be upfront about such habits both online and offline. Women on the other hand, are more open about it online but will rarely admit to it offline or if you know them in person. Why is this? Both males and females have a right to masturbate, in fact, I think BOTH genders (or everyone in between) should do this because there’s nothing more liberating than knowing your own body inside out. You know when you go through a tough day at school, at work or at home this is one of those things that you can forever do to make yourself feel good. Feel stressed? Why see a shrink, down pills or mull around – go to your room (or if you’re adventurous, ANYWHERE legal) and have fun! This is akin to the idea of “What do you call a girl who sleeps around? A slut” – bad bad – but “What do you call a guy who sleeps around? A player” – the role model for many guys. Why is it we set different standards for males and females? We are both entitled to love our own bodies and in order for you to find someone who loves you just as much, you have to love yourself.

Now that both menstruation and masturbation is out there… let’s try merging BOTH of these together… WOH, stop right there! I’m sure that’s the reaction of most, but why? Are both of these not natural body functions? Why do we see going pee to be such a “regular” thing, but not when you talk about either of those topics then mix them together? I know of very few girls (or at least ones who admit) that enjoying masturbating during their period. You can down all those pain-relieving pills you want, but a 10-minute play-time with yourself (or however long you take to orgasm) will probably relief those cramps faster/longer than those pills will and guess what? There are no negative side effects! (unless you’re opposed to feeling euphoric) I remember when my one of my ex’s used to complain about her bad period pains that I told her that I’d get her a sex toy to enjoy herself with and she loved it so much she bought it before I did, lol. I know there are girls who don’t feel “up to the mood” when they are already feeling pretty crappy, but that’s usually because they’re resistant to the idea of menstrual masturbation in the first place. Once they “try it, they never go back” – seriously.

Whether your flow is light, medium or heavy, you can enjoy yourself like your body intended it to be. All it takes to have a successful session is some preparation and a bit of clean-up (please wash your hands.. lol). The last thing that you want to do is worry about the mess you’re making because then you’re not concentrating at the task at hand and that is well… using your hands and fingers. Girls who are not afraid of doing a bit of laundry can always just lay down a retired towel or bed-spread and let her loose. For those who want a bit of “security” can always masturbate through your pad as both your secretion and menstrual flow will go onto the pad. Tampons, now here comes multiple options – you can either masturbate with your tampon IN, or use the tampon itself as it can be used for stimulation and will absorb flow on its way out. You’d be surprized at how many girls actually masturbate through their pad, nothing beats being able to use something 2-for-1! Most of the girls I know turn bright-red when they admitted it to me – but I never hold that against them or make them feel uncomfortable, because what’s wrong with what they’re doing? They aren’t committing a crime surely! The cleanest option for those who really don’t want to prep/clean up is just to do it in the shower and it’ll all just go down the drain. It might look like a scene from Carrie, but that’s not my problem 😛

Masturbating during menstruation allows a woman to deeply tune into her body and connect with the natural side of herself. While I’m not female and cannot attest to this personally, I can recall many experiences where this proves true and I know there are many women who will attest to this. A woman’s body works wonders and often, menstruation (or lack thereof) is indicative of her overall health such as stress, internal aliments or even unknown happiness. All we guys get is a penis that doesn’t tell us much except for a heart condition when we can’t get it hard. Although women get “the curse” (and that’s not MY label for it) by having to go through this monthly, they are so much more knowledgeable about their bodies IF they are willing to listen to their own signals. By spending a time to discover her own body, there’s no one more that benefits from it than herself. Menstrual masturbation is more than just relieving the cramps and having an extraordinary orgasm, but is also allowing one to understand and accept the wonders of pleasuring oneself and that menstruation is nothing to be afraid, embarrassed or sheltered about. Once a girl can come to terms with doing such a thing, it opens her up to a whole new world and if you don’t believe me, you can try yourself or even talk to one of your female friends who DO masturbate during their period – you don’t have to trust MY word for it! Heck, you don’t even need lube!

This post suddenly sparked a lightbulb in my head to follow up with another topic on what “Guys can and SHOULD do for their girlfriend/wife to make her period comfortable” – because guys, you weren’t put on this planet just to reproduce, but to love, tend and care for your significant other!

Uncovering an Understanding of the Female Body

I always wanted to keep this blog “on the main topic” or only post stuff about my own life, but recently I’ve been scouring blogs lately through the great “Tag Surfer” ability and ran into some articles via tags I’m interested in. When I originally started this blog, I never thought I’d be ever referencing someone’s post, but I thought it was a great read, something I have pondered before. In an era where sexuality is no longer a sheltered topic, many still find it uncomfortable to approach certain topics pertaining to themselves. Being in close relationship with many of my female friends, only 3-4 of them (probably less than 5% of female friends that come to my mind) who openly discuss their “personal time alone” with me. Perhaps, one could say that this topic is a highly sensitive topic to be talking with a guy (me) about, but on that same note, at least > 75% of them have no problem telling me their “doings” with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Think about the last time you sat in a highly public area… hrm.. a mall food court. Have you ever overheard or even purposefully listened in on a conversation? You will likely find that at least ONE group is discussing the girl/guy they banged the night before or what plans they have to sleep with a particular individual. Yet, for a girl to feel comfortable enough to discover and explore her own body is an absolute no-no.

I’m one of those very “un-private” people to say the least… and maybe that’s my failing point, but I openly share a lot of things. I’ve had all sorts of socially awkward or embarrassing questions thrown at me before and I think with the exception of being asked something by my parents, I could without turning red, answer a personal question to anyone else. As mentioned by Rhoda, self-exploration of a female’s body seem to still be unacceptable. I have asked some of my girlfriends whether they have bothered exploring their bodies before.. perhaps some ‘touching’ and ‘getting to know yourself’ and many have responded with things ranging from, “Ewww… that’s gross” and “I never touch those areas unless I’m taking a shower.” and it makes me ponder the question how can they survive like that? When I say explore, I don’t mean so much to as to even masturbate, but even just KNOWING what things look like down there would be a good start (and textbooks don’t count). Maybe as a guy, it is almost understood that males are quite attuned to exploring our bodies, but what about girls, what makes them so different that they don’t need to do the same? Mind you the girls who have not mentioned that they ever explored their bodies are girls who I know who have engaged in various sexual encounters, ranging from non-penetrative to penetrative sex. I cannot possibly fathom that they feel so comfortable to engage in such activities, yet to touch themselves makes them want to puke. Maybe as a heterosexual male and a lover of the female body, my opinion might be a bit biased, but seriously, girls who have the most fulfilling sex are ones who know themselves inside-out.

Having a conversation with a girl recently.. let’s call “L.I” (for the sake of her privacy), we were having a keen discussion on her experience with tampons for her period. I was the one who recommended L.I to switch brands recently to O.B (which I was inspired by my ex-ex girlfriend, thanks 😛 ), which unlike applicator tampons required the use of her fingers to insert the tampon into her vagina. She complained to me how she was not used to using her fingers for that and found it “awkward” that she had to touch down there. I asked her, “Do you wash your hands before you insert it?” and she replied, “Yes”… so then I asked her, “What’s the issue then?”. I’m shocked to see a girl of her age, afraid or even shamed to touch her own private areas, especially when it is for the necessity of menstrual hygiene and not “just for fun”. I swear my jaw was open for an entire minute. What surprized me the most was that only 5 minutes before I asked her that, she was telling me how for the first time the previous night, she was playing with her boyfriend’s penis. I cannot help but quote Rhoda on her beautifully-expressed perspective, “Why can pre-teens put a penis in their mouth but are reluctant to look at their own vagina? This is too sad for words.” I asked L.I whether she considered taking some time to understand the area “down there” so she can be comfortable with her own body as it would make it easier for her to insert her tampon, but instead, she just decided it’d be easier to use pads. Now, I’m not saying I have a problem with her going back to pads, but it worries me that she’s that uncomfortable with the thought of knowing the area between her legs that she’d just give up.

The above was just a singular scenario of the many I could lay out. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time  to retell every story, experience or situation I have pertaining to this 😀 I have always been a proponent of, “The better you understand how your body works, the better you’ll be able to communicate to your significant other how to make you feel good!” I completely agree with Rhoda that many girls often concentrate on satisfying their man more than considering their own needs. What happened to communication before, during and after sex? I think both male and female (in a heterosexual relationship) should be sexually satisfied before “the night is over.” Although the process of ejaculation for a male is physically tiring, all-too-often do I hear about guys who fall asleep without care for their female lover. Didn’t SHE just give you the time of your life, what about returning the favour? Be a man… do the right thing.

The results of a female orgasm whether on her own or with a partner is so important in a woman’s life. I am horrified to hear about girls my age who have never experienced an orgasm prior to meeting their boy/girlfriend. So… you mean you let someone else explore your body before you have done it yourself?! Akin to laughing, I consider an orgasm as a great friend to laughter. If anything, it solves many of lives problems or at least pushes it away for even a moment of time is worthwhile. Rather than being drunk, getting high or tripping on acid, self-gratification can offer that same happiness at no risk, especially because females tend to be moodier than males it acts as a great anti-depressant. Furthermore, I have always been a big fan of advising my close female friends that an orgasmic release is a great way to reduce/eliminate menstrual cramping.

Girls, it is like a guy cheating on you when you decide to fake an orgasm – it is not in the best of your interest or the interest of the relationship. Sex is what brings a couple together and even what breaks people apart. To fake an orgasm is denying your own need of satisfaction and is giving the wrong impression to the guy that he’s “doing a good job” when he really isn’t. Is it acceptable for a guy to tell you he’s going to take out the garbage when he didn’t? Sex involves two (or more, if that’s your thing) people and so does a relationship, so why not work together to create a GREAT sexual experience for everyone? Lying is lying and pretending that “your orgasm” doesn’t matter is a lie.. let your partner know that you’re not satisfied and also, this is where self-exploration and self-understanding comes to play… tell him what makes YOU feel good because after all, YOU should know yourself well enough to express how you want to be pleasured!

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