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Man Wearing a Maxi Pad for a Week: The Max-Pax Experiment by Sam Jordan

So through some random internet searching, I bumped into a funny article posted up by a guy who was “challenged” to know what it feels like to wear a pad. This person wasn’t approaching this from a fetish point of view, but rather, a lady had made a statement to him about, “there needs to be a rule that says you can’t make a maxi pad or tampon joke unless you’ve actually had to wear them.” The author of the comedy article was written by Sam Jordan. He took up this unsaid challenge, to wear a pad for a week so that he could talk the talk and walk the walk.

Since I don’t know about the re-posting/copyright surrounding the article, I chose not to copy & paste it here (even with due credit of course). Feel free to read the article located at this link: http://www.zug.com/live/89365/The-ManPax-Experiment.html

There is nothing terribly graphic in the whole article and it was done in a humourous tone rather than a true “research” standpoint. Even I found it pretty amusing, without casting judgement of course (oh shit, who am I to cast judgment of all people right?!)

I did get a kick at how he “took me a good 10 minutes to figure out how to install a maxi pad” because it doesn’t seem like a very difficult contraption. Ya sure, I know I probably have some extended experience with feminine hygiene products, but I must say it isn’t all that complex given the lack of opportunity to go wrong… unpack, peel stickies, attach to garment and at most – lock down the wings. Onto page two of his article, it was interesting to note that he used boxer-briefs for his pad-wearing week… I suppose that’d work if using the wings weren’t required. Then he mentioned that, “within seconds of wearing feminine protection, I was thinking like a woman and worrying about how my butt looked.” and I always wonder how true that is because most of my girls don’t seem to worry about that. Even for my girls who wear thick pads, unless you’re wearing skin-tight pants, the likelihood of a pad showing through is low. However, the brave soul he is I suppose he’d have a right to question that and worry.

Finally, onto the last page, he describes some of the activities he goes through during the week with a pad on (I hope he changed regularly… if he didn’t – that would be REALLY uncomfortable…) and the restrictive feeling he had. He closed off with on the final night wearing the pad over his eyes for a good night’s rest! I’d be interested in knowing whether he only wore the pad actively during the day, or whether he even wore it at night. All in all, I have to admit this guy sure as hell is brave for daring to wear a pad for a week AND also talk about it online.

I’d recommend reading the article for more details and to view his funny pictures. I got a kick out of an article comment which dared him to try tampons for a week. That made my jaw drop, haha! 😆

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Making Your Washroom “Girl” Friendly – Toilet Etiquette

With the holidays arriving quickly upon us, many of us will be traveling from location to location, either hosting a party or being a guest of a party. One thing that one of my friends recently approached me about, was how to make a washroom “girl-friendly”. I do attest that with many of my male friends, particularly those who lived off-campus with a bunch of guys or on his own, that their washrooms tend not to be girl-friendly. Of course washroom etiquette goes beyond whether the toilet is friendly for females, but just general hygienic practice is equally important. Unless that particular bathroom is not going to be available for guests, it’s important that guys keep some thoughts in mind if you plan on having girls over, or rather, if you plan on having them over ever again.

One key thing that most “male” washrooms neglect is a trash bin. Other than just the obvious disposal of tampons, tampon applicators, pads and pad wrappers, many women also opt to discard used toilet paper (non-excrement ones) in the trash rather than in the toilet. This is more true for those who have older houses who know that one-too-much toilet paper into the commode will usually get it clogged. Most of the girls I know and have actually ran this by do say they prefer disposing their pee-wipe toilet paper into the trash rather than in the toilet. Only 2 of them told me they “dispose it in the toilet all the time”. As I have noticed, washrooms in male-oriented living quarters tend to lack trash bins… I suppose one could argue that we have no ‘need’ for one for ourselves as any time we need to wipe is usually when we defaecate and not generally for pee-wiping.

Many of my girls have told me they dislike going to male-only households for this reason, because while pitching used toilet paper in the commode and flushing is a reasonable expectation, I can definitely tell you that pads do not belong in the toilet whatsoever. I have had to help a friend unclog a toilet before because his girlfriend couldn’t find a trash in his washroom, so she attempted to flush it down the toilet. Though most modern toilets and sewage systems will marginally deal with pads, you’re not going to get lucky every time. By providing a trash bin, you allow a girl to discretely dispose of her used products rather than trying to ‘hide’ it by flushing it down the toilet. If you’ve never had the experience before, plumbing work is very expensive. Please provide a trash receptacle of some sort in the washroom, better yet have a lid on it. Speaking of which for the guys, for your own trash emptying sake, you might want to use a bag so that you can close your eyes, tie it up and take it to the trash after.

The following recommendation doesn’t necessarily apply just to making a washroom girl-friendly, but might even be applicable for the guys. If you plan on having guest over, particularly when there are lots of women (because let’s face it, most of us would agree/admit that households with more women tend to consume toilet paper at a MUCH quicker rate than an all-male household). As long as you have space to spare in your washroom, ensure the toilet paper roll is regularly available and to always keep 1-2 in an accessible and open area, unless you know the guest well enough where they’d rummage through your drawers to get spares. I will usually keep 2 extra rolls of toilet paper right on top of the commode, above the water tank. Here’s an extra thought for you too, though I kind of experienced this (sadly) in a public washroom. Before using that particular stall, I didn’t check to see if there was actually toilet paper available – or well, enough of it. After finishing up my duties, I went to get toilet paper and sure enough, there was a questionable amount left. If you’re hosting parties at your own place, try to always ensure that there is an ample amount of toilet paper available, because no one wants (or wants to see someone) to waddle or scream from the washroom for toilet paper to wipe!

If you can, provide a fixed air-fresheners or a spray. Many of us would say we “over eat” during the holiday seasons, so then we all know, “What goes in, must come out.” In a house that only has one or two available washrooms for guest, make sure that the revolving doors of visitors don’t have to face the last persons stench. I know, I know… our bodies shouldn’t be shunned, but most of us don’t excrete rose-petals either. Pads or tampons which are not properly disposed and allow prolonged contact with open-air may emanate a smell, so if you’re not providing a close-lid trash, then the air freshener will help to mask any dried-period smell coming from the used products.

Clean up after yourself, because I’ve seen some very raunchy male toilets before. We, I’ve seen toilet seats covered in pubic hair and toilet bowls that doesn’t seem like they’ve ever been cleaned. Also, as a penis-owner, I can say we don’t always have “full control” – or rather, water dynamics can be a very interesting thing. For girls who don’t have brothers/father/male family members living in the same household or who are just super-hygienic will sometimes cringe at the thought of pee-droplets all over the toilet. I remember one of my girls came over had to actually ask my mom to wipe the toilet for her before she could go – because apparently, it is OK for my mom to taint her hands wiping it, but not her. Of course I knew it wasn’t my pee because I have a habit of making sure “pee spray” is cleaned up due to training by my bebe 😆 Even bebe having 4 brothers, she still can’t stand when pee flies everywhere so I’m also extra diligent about splash-back when using her toilet. Don’t forget that many girls sit on the toilet when they go, so clean up the seat to the point where even you would sit on it (unless you’re a really dirty person). If you can’t do that, perhaps consider providing those toilet seat covers.

Looking to be extra girl-friendly then consider leaving accessible pads and tampons in the washroom so that one of your visitors caught off-guard doesn’t have to make it “public knowledge” that her period has arrived. Plus, no one wants to spoil the mood of the party or have to leave just because their visitor dropped in for a visit! I know 2 of my friends who really dislike having girls over who don’t seem to know how to “wrap and dispose” their stuff properly, so they even provide small brown paper bags for girls to throw their stuff in before dropping it into the trash. To me, that’s overkill and probably being environmentally unfriendly – but to each their own. I can stand the sight of a used, opened-pad and tampon without getting all queasy, but I can also understand that people don’t generally like looking at someones (or even their own) liquids. For the girls: If you consider flushing your tampons or if you’re on your period, please try to make sure the tampon is actually whisked away on the first flush and that your menstrual flow and clots don’t come back up. Again, not something that bothers me, but something that definitely bothers most guys to see 😛

Keep your ‘questionable’ products hidden. I know that in the end, your washroom is your washroom, but if you have girls visiting (and particularly if you’re trying to make a good impression), it is a good idea to “keep it clean”. If you normally leave stuff like porno magazines, lube, sex toys or whatnot in the washroom, it may be a good idea to conceal them well. I’m sure not too many girls would imagine you don’t masturbate, BUT, sometimes it is a matter of “out of sight, out of mind” – because a girl probably doesn’t want to be going pee and seeing your lube and toys on the counter top.

I know that when you live alone or with other guys, letting things get “out of shape” can be very easy and reversing that, takes a lot of work. I remember going to my guy friend’s house who had 4 guys living in it, sharing a single bathroom. I was afraid to touch anything in that bathroom, worried that if I did, I’d probably get a handful of pubes or that white soap may not actually be… soap. There were clear indications that no one wiped anywhere after peeing, since there were dried pee-spots all over the floor and splashes against the seat. That washroom was barely me-friendly, let alone for most girls (and I have a pretty high tolerance as it stands) to even think about relieving themselves there.

If you have any further thoughts or considerations, please feel free to comment or let me know 😀

When Even the Best of Guys Needs Help

This will be a short post, but I recall a commercial that reminded me of a particular retailer when I was in Hong Kong. A mass merchandiser drugstore similar to North Americas equivalent of Shoppers Drug Mart or Rexall provided a very unique service which might help with guys who may feel that purchasing feminine hygiene products for his partner or a female family member is a daunting task. As mentioned in the subject of this entry, even the guys with the best intentions may be completely confused by all the choices of feminine hygiene products when standing in the aisle. Sometimes, it isn’t even the guy who’s embarrassed, but I’ve found that men in the feminine hygiene aisle seem to cause embarrassment or an aura of awkwardness even for the ladies. Even for the guys who are not afraid of wandering down the aisle and making the purchase, mistakes are bound to be made resulting in a very disgruntled female in your life (or worse, females)

In Hong Kong, at least one retailer has managed to provide somewhat of a solution for this. A household’s female member could actually call ahead of the time to the store to make arrangements with a list of purchases to be made. Within a reasonable amount of the time (and the efficiency in Hong Kong is impeccable), the products are already packed and ready to go for pickup. If there are sensitive items as part of the shopping list, the retailer will usually put all the purchases in paper-like bag, or you can always request one at no extra charge. When purchases include things like feminine hygiene products, condoms or pharmaceutical items, they’re pretty diligent about making sure that these purchases can’t be viewed ‘from the outside’. One might say this is “backwards thinking” and especially to be something promoted on my site, but let’s face it, not every guy will ever feel comfortable or buy these items accurately. Therefore if there is a foolproof way of ensuring the right items are purchased, here it is!

The retailer has a bunch of funny and cute commercials, with a guy who’s been asked to make purchases because his girlfriend’s “best friend has arrived”. He confidently says he can take care of it because he knows he can rely on this retailer to ensure the right products are purchased and that they are discretely handled when he arrives to pick them up. I know this might raise a few concerns are it’s contrary to my hopes we can make feminine hygiene purchases just as if were buying fruit, but sometimes you can’t change everything and everyone. At least this will provide a more reliable method of a girl to ask her male friend/family to get something for them if they’re unable to go to the store themselves.

After this is all said and done, this service is available to all customers, not just female ones… however, for the sake of the topic of the blog, I rest my case. I’m sure a guy could ask his partner or female family member to pick something hemorrhoid cream or wart remover and it’d be perfectly valid to have these items prepacked and ready to leave the store! Other than this service, the next most discrete way at getting the right items is delivery services, which also seem to be rare in North America (or rather, at a reasonable price), but speed of getting these products would be a concern if the leak is already pooling up 🙄 I wonder if retailers here will begin providing such services or whether it would be as popular here as it is in Asia…

A real man?

A real man

LOL, some random image I found here. Clickity-click.

Opening Up About Menstrual Interests

Having been almost a year and a half since I started this blog, I’ve received lots of comments both on-site and as well as through IM and email. People often ask,  how is it that I can be so open about a topic that is not native to my biological gender? Easy, it is an interest! With that said, the topic itself should not be embarrassing or shameful to tackle, as menstruation and is wonderful and mystical element of the female body. Women may not bond over the fact they share breasts, a vagina or long hair – but, many sisterhoods are formed over a common ground, their periods and naturally bleeding body. Suffice to say, one of my god-sis’ best friend was actually formed inside the women’s bathroom in high school. How could that happen? Simple, she lent one of her tampons to someone she didn’t know who was begging for one. After 7 years, they still remain close friends, despite facing the trials of life, finishing post-secondary, getting a job and working on starting their “adult” life – all through the small act of lending out a tampon. While this may be a rare circumstance to have such a friendship formed, it is but a simple example of the bond formed through an act of kindness over the pains and unfortunate appearance of menstrual flow.

Regularly speaking to my female friends and some male community members over the fascination of menstruation, I have come to realize that particularly for guys, opening up to fellow friends or a female partner is a daunting situation. Particularly in the case of a female partner, whether a girlfriend or wife, I think it’s necessary that two people are able to speak keenly about their own interests, both personality-wise and sexually. After all, if two people are in it for the long-run, why should they not know everything about their other half? Being able to share things openly with each other is an essential part of a functional relationship. Every girl I’ve been with in a romantic relationship knows about my menstrual interests, because I think it should be fair I can share it with them and fair that they need to be aware of it. There needs to be acceptance both ways, the fact that I fee lcomfortable enough to share such intimate details with them and also that they can accept my interest. Accepting in my mind, does not necessarily mean participating in my interest, but simply allowing me to “do my own thing” so to speak. Also, because this interest, generally speaking, is not something of destructive nature I believe wholeheartedly that it should not be something to cause alarm. For instance, if I were to start using illegal drugs, it would definitely be in any girlfriend or wife’s place to say STOP IT, but she should have no right to TELL me to stop. Suffice to say, if bebe asked me today to give up my interest in menstruation, I probably could because of my love and devotion to her that I would be willing to make such a sacrifice. With that said, it doesn’t mean any male or female should have the right to demand that the other person suppress their right to have a menstrual interest, despite whether they want to “take part” in it.

How did I approach the girl’s I’ve been with about my menstrual interests? Well, I would not be able to answer that in any concrete way, because just like any individual, each girl had a differently personality type, predisposed openness to menstruation and comfort level with their own body. I definitely found the girls who had the most comfort with their own body and open-minded personality that they adapted easily to my interest, including ones who even LOVED my passion with menstruation. Each girl is different so I can say for sure that the way I introduced my interests to Girl #1 is definitely differently compared to Girl #2. As I’ve mentioned before, I never had any girls in my life (who I shared a romantic relationship with that is) who did not at bare minimum accept my love for menstruation. Even bebe with her semi-frigidness seems willing to accept my interest in it and try to share herself with me when it came to such discussions. While she is far from being as enthusiastic as my ex over it, her efforts to do so make it extra heartwarming. Sharing such an interest comes with great danger, because it may very well make or break a relationship – or even – friendship. Remember that even in such an “advanced” and “modern” society, many people still ‘have a problem’ when it comes to the subject of menstruation.

Yes, I agree that menstruation, especially one’s OWN menstrual cycle is a personal detail, many people take it beyond the fact that it’s just “personal” – but the fact they themselves resent it or feel disgusted by it. I have no problem with a girl feeling exposed or that she rather keep her menstrual details to herself, but those who feel that their menstrual cycle is shameful is where the ‘problem’ occurs. Just like our sex-lives, some like to share, some do not, but one should not shelter information about periods for the wrong reasons. With each of the girls I’ve had a relationship with, I took many different approaches and anecdotes, with some I could literally blurt out, “Oh by the way, I love periods” and other ones, where I had to play little games of injecting hints over a period (heh) of time.

One thing is for sure, before any one considers telling their partner or someone about their own interests in menstruation, you really have to “feel out” the other person. What kind of person are they, do they seem receptive of such information? What do you have to gain from them knowing, but also, what costs are involved should it fail? The best way is usually to try to engage them in “period talk” of sorts by somehow directing a conversation towards that subject. If the person veers the conversation away, it may mean they’re very sensitive towards that topic, in that case, I would be very cautious about expressing open interest. Likewise, if they engage in that subject and also seem passionate about it, you may have a green light. These are NOT set-in-stone rules, because while a girl might be open about menstruation or even her own menstrual information, she may not always be accepting of you being interested in menstruation. I remember one conversation with a girl I had who would participate strongly in any conversation about menstruation, including divulging many of her own experiences and intimate details of her, but when I ‘tested the waters’ on how she would react to know that a male was interested in periods, she furrowed her eyebrows. Therefore, one must be cautious about indications of openness to menstruation, in alignment with the whether it shows true openness (to all genders) or whether the openness is present under the consideration that it is a “female-only topic”.

While I would love to share my interest of menstruation, there are some girls who are simply object to men knowing anything about periods, let alone be interested in them. It’s up to you to decide whether it is worthwhile to consider pursuing the chance to open the topic or whether it is best to never touch upon it again. Furthermore, you have to ask yourself, if this is a woman who you are interested in, would you be able to go the rest of your life without expressing your interests or perhaps, even suppressing them? Of course I am not saying just because the girl doesn’t share the same love or acceptance to menstruation doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with her, but you just have to consider the long-term impact and your own willpower. After all, there are several members even of Kayo’s community who has admitted that for years they have sheltered their own fetish and interest in menstruation in fears of that it would affect their romantic partners. Opening up to your partner about your love for menstruation is hard, particularly if every aspect of the relationship is “right” that you don’t want to risk the loss of such relationship over your own passion.

While I do not restrict the knowledge of my love of menstruation to girls I date, I definitely keep it close-knowledge because girls that I’ve known for a long-time and built a solid relationship with, or girls like my god-sis’. Also, with each girl, you can get an idea of their comfort level to the degree of which they are willing to share about menstruation, whether in general or about their own bodies. I suppose I’ve achieved comfort in a lot of these girls because they share the most intimate details about their periods with me and sometimes when we’re out, they won’t even say something like, “I need to use the washroom” – they’ll be like, “Hey, I gotta go change my pad!” and that’s just totally cool with me 😛 I have to say though, when it comes to girls I’ve dated or am dating, I also “restrict” the amount of information I share with them based on what I perceive to be their comfort level. Even with bebe, as much as I love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life, there are still some reservations that I make when it comes to my interest in periods with her. Timing and comfort-over-time is a very large factor when it comes to how little/how much you reveal and with proper timing.

Writing this entry, I’m hardly saying I’ve “perfected the art of revealing my menstrual interests” – but with a handful of relationships and 2 serious ones under the belt, I can say I’ve had at least ‘experience’ with displaying my interests of menstrual within the scope of a relationship. Having girls who appreciate my passion in menstruation is a really wonderful feeling and for the guys who share similarities like this with me, I can definitely tell you it is a liberating feeling being able to tell trusted friends and the special person in your life about your own passion. While such interests differs from hobbies like playing basketball, interest in menstruation can still be a respectful interest and with much to learn about. Remember that loving menstruation isn’t just about benefiting yourself, but also about the benefit of others. With knowledge about menstruation, one can better themselves by knowing that when a girl is angry, it isn’t a matter of her (not always at least) PMS’ing or that she’s “on the rag” and knowing the realities and separating the myths of what menstruation is about. It’s about using your love and education in menstruation, that you may be able to help girl-friends, girlfriend and/or wife to cope with her changing needs over the years. With your love of menstruation, you should help your fellow females feel comfortable with menstruation in generality and personally. It is your love of menstruation that in the most painful times of need, that you are there to support your friends and lover and to help them overcome obstacles in their periods and throughout the rest of their lives.

Remember that knowledge of menstruation comes with great responsibilities in knowing that what other women may confide in you when it comes to their period, they may not want to share with the whole world. I am lucky to say, many of the girls who I associate with and who share many details about their own experiences and regular monthly habits, that they openly share with me and feel ok that I share it with the world at-large. Of course since I rarely define names in my posts, I still hold the information which they provide me with in highest regards and if a girl is open enough to share these details with you, that you return the favour of their secrecy. I always welcome passer-byers and regular visitors alike to share their own stories, comments or feedback with me, on the blog or by other methods of contact. I hope you enjoy reading this blog, as much as I love writing it!

Girl Talk: Love Me, Love My Period (By: Ami Angelowicz)

Oh my lord, I was  so excited when I read this story! Finally, women who appreciate a guy’s openness in menstruation and being caring about it. Sure, I admit I might be more over-zealous compared to these guys when it comes to periods and feminine hygiene, but it’s probably better I’m like that than the opposite and be those guys who utterly hate and are disgusted by a bit of menstrual flow and products!

Below is a repost of the article which I found from Camster of Kayo’s – thank you for your findings:

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Girl Talk: Love Me, Love My Period

Ami Angelowicz's avatarAmi Angelowicz
1:00PM, 04/28/2011 Comments (70)
Tampon in pocket

The decision to cohabit with my now ex-boyfriend Jeff was prompted by a fight over my period.

Jeff and I came back to my place after dinner to find my male roommate and some of his buddies sitting on the couch. He was angry because he just got laid off. He was drunk. In general he was a big a**hole.

I see a man’s reaction to my period as a litmus test. I know it sounds strange, but the way a guy acts about my menstrual cycle tells me a lot about what kind of guy he is and how he feels about womanhood.

“Wash your dishes,” my roommate shouted as I walked in the door.

“I haven’t been home,” I replied. “I will.”

I looked at Jeff, my incredibly shy boyfriend, hoping he would stick up for me. He put his head down.

My roommate proceeded with his attack.

“And get your disgusting period stained underwear out of the laundry room,” he yelled.

I am never usually at a loss for words. But the mention of a pair of period stained underwear in front of a crowd of men really humiliated me. For the record, I had washed them and left them to dry in the laundry room. A room appropriate for such activities.

I felt my face get hot. That’s when Jeff sprung to action. I saw his jaw tense.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” Jeff shouted at my roommate. “She’s a woman, she bleeds, man!”

Jeff grabbed my hand.

“We’re leaving here now,” he said, escorting me out of the apartment.

I never heard Jeff raise his voice before and I never loved him more for doing it. It turned out my shy boyfriend had some throw-down factor when it came to his woman. That was all I needed to know. We decided to move in together that evening.

Since then, I’ve seen a man’s reaction to my period as a litmus test. I know it sounds strange, but the way a guy acts about my menstrual cycle tells me a lot about what kind of guy he is and how he feels about womanhood.

A few years ago, I was on my third date with David.* We were in the middle of brunch at a French Bistro when Aunt Flo came for a very unexpected visit.

“I have to run to the drug store,” I told him.

He looked confused, but didn’t ask any questions. When I returned with a box of tampons and went to the bathroom again, I think he solved the equation. But David didn’t say anything. He just pretended like it didn’t happen, which in turn made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I know we didn’t know each other that well, but a joke or a smile or at least an acknowledgement from him would have been much appreciated. It was a metaphor for the rest of our six-month relationship. David never really said much about what he thought about anything. So when I told him I was falling in love with him, I was surprised to discover that he wasn’t feeling the same way.

Recently, I started dating Dan* who invited me to spend the night at his place.

“I want to spend the night, but I have my period,” I told Dan.

“That’s great news!” he exclaimed.

“Really? Why?” I asked slightly thrown off by his reaction. I had never seen a man so excited that I was bleeding.

“It’s always a relief for a guy to hear that,” he said. “No bun in the oven.”

In the middle of the night, I woke up and discovered a blood stain on his white sheets. I was mortified. I woke him up.

“Something bad happened,” I said.

“Are you OK?” he asked. I pointed to the blood stain.

“Do you have a stain stick or some Oxyclean?” I asked panicked.

“Don’t worry about that. It’s not a big deal. We’ll deal with it in the morning.”

Dan* reached his arms out and wrapped them around me. He kissed me on the cheek.

“Now go back to sleep and stop worrying,” he said.

Good man, I thought as I drifted off.
*Name has been changed

iStockphoto/Thinkstock

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Since the posting of the article, it has received quite a few comments. You can navigate to see all the comments using the link above as part of the article, but here are some that I found particularly pleasing 🙂

Littlemonster

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 1:32 PM

For growing up with a sister only 2 years older then him, my boyfriend seemed completely clueless about periods when we started living together (I was the first girl he ever lived with). But now he has gotten completely over his initial squeamishness with it to be totally over it. One of the most amazing things I ever saw him do was empty the trash can that had used pads in it. I immediately panicked when he picked it up and ran over saying “I’ll take care of it” and he just shrugged at me and said “It’s ok, they are wrapped, it doesn’t bother me.” That moment for some reason just completely floored me. I also leave a tampon in the glove box of HIS car. At first he protested, but now it’s like it’s not even there among his tools and insurance papers.

Taurwen

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 5:02 PM

I was going to the store once and asked my partner if he wanted anything and he decided to come with me. When we got inside I said something like “Well you can go get your stuff, I have some other stuff to get” and he just looked at me like I was crazy “I don’t care if you need to get pads. They’re ~right here~ on the way to my ice cream. Just grab them now.”

IdaTarbell

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 2:27 PM

I think it’s a better indicator if the guy is willing to get sexy when it’s that time of the month. If he isn’t overly squicked by that, hoorah!

Rionator

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 6:34 PM

Thank god I’m with someone who doesn’t give a flying f*ck. I get horrific cramps the first 2 days and a good orgasm makes them better for hours afterward.

tabby

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 2:36 PM

I logged in just to say, Hydrogen Peroxide. It will get ANY blood stain out in a jiffy. We are talking the relatively minor period stained sheets to the dead deer in the back of the light colored SUV. (It hit my car and we try not to waste food.) Even guys usually have some H2O2 in the bathroom.

Also, any guy who freaks out about my period does not get access to my various lady parts because he obviously doesn’t deserve it.

justpeachy

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 2:51 PM

I think it depends. My husband was an only child and I think unless you’ve shared a bathroom with a woman, it’s pretty easy to be freaked out by periods. He’s getting better though the longer we live together.

lafemmefatal

wrote on April 28, 2011 @ 3:31 PM

One of my past boyfriends was completely grossed out at the thought of bleeding vagina. I was so annoyed with him, because I’m ALWAYS horny during my period, and he didn’t want anything to do with that part of my body. At all.
My husband was completely okay with it. (Granted, he was married before me, so he was use to it anyway,) but he wasn’t scared. Doesn’t care if the shopping cart has feminine products in it, none of that stuff.
On a somewhat related note, I laughed when my husband (then boyfriend,) and I went camping for the first time. We stopped at the grocery store before going out of town to pick up food, and he made a point of buying toilet paper for me to use. (I was trained to squat and use ferns to wipe if I wanted to wipe. lol) I thought it was sweet that he was looking out for me, and I knew I should probably keep him around, but I couldn’t help but laugh.

Now if only bebe appreciated my interest and loving-care for her on/off her period, then I’d be set for life! 😆

Menstrual Fetish or Simply Education?

So as I often wander and drift through the internet, I find myself reading forums and Q&A from sites. Having grown up as a forum-hopper as a teenager, I ran into many puberty-related resources, allowing open discussion between males and females, both questioners and moderators/professionals who provide information or intervene to make an expert opinion/diagnosis. With that said, many of these “specific” forums tend to be more positive towards questions and they’re answered with decency – or at least posts that are negative/insulting are removed/moderated. The internet is essentially “society” – just like when we’re offline and many of the same stigmas exist. Let me elaborate.

I was reading on a Q&A site and bumped into several different threads/sites which had males asking legitimate questions about menstruation. Furthermore, they did so tastefully so it was not a matter of, “Oh my god, please let me have your old pads!” – but rather, “I want to know what girls experience during their period” or “Do girls exercise during their period?” These questions appeared genuine and plus, some people might have called them “stupid questions” – but for males who never experience menstruation – how should they know any better? If they dare to post a question up of that sensitivity, surely they deserve an appropriate response. If the person reading/answering feels that they don’t want to answer, why must they feel the need to post a nasty response. Why is a male a PERVERT, a SICKO, a WEIRDO for wanting to learn about menstruation?

This situation is unfortunate, because women complain about men being ignorant or immature when it comes to menstruation. Yes, we have textbooks and we have school, but that is hardly “sufficient information about menstruation” – that is unless you happen to be in a medical field. For the general guy, simply skimming through our 1-page in the textbook during SexEd class or from the hearsay we get from guy friends (usually non-factual) harbour a very poor perception of menstruation in our minds. We’re criticized by women for being un-knowledgeable about menstruation but at the same time, we’re ALSO criticized when we want to genuinely learn about it. So what is it that women want or rather, do women just assume the information we absorb “from around us” is enough for us to have positive view of menstruation? We need brave and mature women who are willing to provide anecdotal support about their own menstrual experiences and educate men in these matters. We should not be degraded or berated for our willingness to learn – WHETHER this is a fetish or simply an interest.

As I was passing through Yahoo! Answers, it was so sad to see girls flocking down on this poor guy who made an honest question about periods. With a solid page of “answers” – most of them were either unhelpful or downright insulting towards this guy. Rather than taking the time to provide a useful answer, these girls told him off, called him names and made personal attacks – when these girls likely don’t even know this individual personally. Only a few “answers” that were posted addressed his question. What is it that women want? …Us to know about periods or us to remain immature about it and then blame us afterwards? I can understand that women might pounce on a guy who asks a question that is “highly inappropriate” – but these were all reasonable questions. Furthermore, if these women didn’t feel comfortable replying, why even post to yell at this poor guy who is trying to LEARN?

How do we separate the fetishists from the learners or is there that gray-area in between it? To understand a fetish, let’s take a look at the definition of it:

fetish  fet·ish (fět’ĭsh, fē’tĭsh)
n.

  1.  Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.
  2.  An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment.

Fetishes are usually not-harmful by nature. For instance, I love menstruation, but I don’t think I’ve ever “hurt” anyone as a result of my interests. At the same time, am I a fetishist or am I a learner? Menstruation IS related to a “sexual part of the body” (opposed to the definition of a fetish being a “non-sexual” part) – closely associated to the vagina, but is not a “part” itself. Likewise, it “may become necessary for sexual gratification” – and luckily for me, I haven’t hit that point where I feel menstruation is so deeply rooted in me where I can’t become sexually aroused without periods/feminine hygiene on my mind. Easy example is that I can easily become sexually excited just thinking about bebe – absence of her period or any products related to it. If someone DID label me as having a menstrual fetish, I also wouldn’t deny it, as I do have that border of “interest” and “excitement” – but nor would I agree 100% since it is the initial desire to learn more about menstruation where it later developed into a sexual-interest.

What though, separate fetishes over menstruation as it does to other ones – ones that people deem more “common” or even “acceptable”? In the world of men, I’m sure many of us wouldn’t deny that a good bra and panty would excite us. It seems like when guys talk about panties, it is pretty acceptable we think about it – but panties are a “non-sexual item” by nature and therefore, would be considered a fetish. Why is it “ok” for a man to have a fetish for an inanimate object, such as female underwear – but NOT ok when it comes to feminine hygiene products or a woman’s period? My ex used to always tease me by leaving some of her bras and panties on her bed so that I’d see them or she’s ask me to pick out for her what to wear underneath. However, my excitement was not necessarily the object itself, but the association. When I think about panties, I don’t get particularly excited. When I think about bebe’s panties or bras, they’re exciting because they’re HERS and the association is with her beauty and body. The other day, I was graced by seeing bebe’s panties/bra while I helped her pack and I was excited – only because she wears them and not so much the “item itself” and therefore the association with it being SEXY is based on her connection with them. So now, do I have a fetish for her panties or do I have a fetish for her? (The answer is obvious, LOL)

I have to say, there’s only been a handful of times I’ve ever felt bad about my interest in menstruation. I’ve received much praise and kudos for my dedication and commitment to being a positive male role model for menstruation. I’m sure many of my readers know my passion is probably have driven by fetish and half by knowledge – but still, does it really matter? I see so many of these poor guys who should have their curiosity fostered and to be able to engage in professional dialogue with a woman who is willing to answer their inquiries. If they pose a question and they’re hoarded by women berating him, what kind of attitude does that suggest? It suggests that men “do not need to know” or in fact “should NOT know” about menstruation and thus, we become negative towards menstruation through our experiences of being ridiculed. These poor male children, tweens or teens (and possibly even adult men) who make a genuine attempt at learning about menstruation will never ask a question about it again if they’re shot-down, what will they say to future generation of guys? Luckily for me, I have the support of many of my girls and even more proud of my girlfriend who is slowly opening up to me about her period and is willing to answer my questions to her. You have no idea how much that has changed my attitude towards her and how blessed/appreciative I feel over her openness in menstruation to me, especially because she’s not easy to pry information from, especially those of such sensitivity. Although it seems weird to take pride in your girlfriend’s period – I certainly do!

For all the men reading this, please find a woman whom you are comfortable with, trust and is willing to share her menstrual knowledge with you. For the women who read this, please extend your hand/knowledge of menstruation to willing-men around you… for this society has much to learn and crush the taboo of menstruation! If you suspect the guy is learning about menstruation because he as a fetish for it… why does it matter to you anyways? If you’re able to change the way another person views menstruation positively, educationally or otherwise, you’ve done a great job! And also… don’t assume anything about the guy when he’s asking a question – not all of us are cross-dressers, transsexuals or the-like 😛

Thailand Ladyboy’s (Kathoey)

Before I begin into this post, I’m warning you that if you are easily distressed by transsexuals, I would not suggest you continue reading. Furthermore, I’m not an “expert” on this topic and I’m only writing about this on a what I know/perceive basis and information herein is what I’ve researched to my ability and also the opinion expressed here within are my views alone.

The reason why I would suddenly write on such an interesting topic is not because I’ve suddenly decided I’d rather become a female or have any doubts of my “masculinity” – but because I watched a video that really made me think about our definitions of gender, attraction and sexuality. I’m sure because I’ve led into this topic, the following video may not be very shocking – but let’s just sit back and imagine I hadn’t prepared you with any details about it, would you still assume the same? The video contains no nudity and is not “vulgar” in any way, unless you have a problem with guys looking like girls.

Thailand’s Got Talent 2011 Bell Nuntita (Nuntrita Khampriranon, 27)

Isn’t that crazy? I mean sure, she has some male characteristics, but by-golly, from a distance and not paying attention to detail, one would not have thought this person is/was male! Not only that but it started making my question attraction. What causes attraction? When I saw the video, I thought to myself that this girl is damn pretty. Even the 2 guys at the end of the song hugged her. So as I begin to think about my own feelings and reactions to this, I asked myself, would I hug her? Yes, I would. Deep down, I wouldn’t lie and say that I did not feel any attraction to her, because I did – even when upon closer inspection I already suspected the fact she… is/was really a he. Then it made me think, although I would not consider myself gay, homosexual or even bisexual, I still felt ATTRACTED to someone who either has or had a penis. So then the big question is, how do people attract each other? Is it based on what we see, feel or simply fooled by our own sight/expectations?

Let’s take a look at some comments found on the internet about this…

wjboo2008: Truly nothing to say, incredible, especially when he switches to his male voice, and at this point, discussing whether he is a transsexual is no longer important!

liuxiang06: This transsexual is better looking than 70% of China’s females.

挂早小鸡: I think I’ve really fallen for her….I’ve actually fallen for a transsexual… Let me think about this…

爆笑兜兜: Look at their audience, and then look at the audiences in our country. They’re so calm. As if lady boys were simple a part of [their culture], like it was no big deal at all.

This is not the first time that I’ve seen a transsexual. Although not highly-visible, there are often ladyboys in Hong Kong as well, so I’m sure I’ve seen them “in person.” Also, I’ve accidentally ran across she-male porn before, so I’ve literally seen “chicks with dicks” – and although it is not my type of thing, I definitely don’t hold anything against them. Suffice to say, I definitely “had the hots for” Bell… despite knowing that’s a HE. It made me consider what about women, that heterosexual men are attracted to… where’s that “connection” that pull people together? I think about my attraction to bebe… she’s a wonderful girl and is also “looks” like a girl… what if she suddenly told me she had a penis, how would I feel? Of course this is one of those questions that is hard to answer if it didn’t really happen – so let’s just leave that up to inquiring minds to think about. I’m attracted to bebe because she is a good person, beautiful and resembles femininity… but now when you look at ladyboys, how can you claim they don’t have that same femininity? In fact, one of the commentator said that these transsexual look better than 70% of the women (assuming these are genetically-born ones) in China. How did I, knowing that Bell Nunita is/was male, still feel that attraction to her? She is definitely pretty!

Bell Nuntita

Bell Nuntita

So under real scrutiny, I’m sure you can see some defining male features in her facial structure, but many transsexual go through surgery and hormone therapy to modify their body into a more “female form” and while some transsexual still have “obvious” male features, some have almost removed them COMPLETELY. Also, some transsexual even go through sexual reassignment surgery, so even if you were to “look down there” – you might never really know. The following video is a short documentary/interview of a ladyboy prostitute in Thailand… Again, because of the restrictions of free WordPress, I’m not allowed to post “adult” material, so the video is censored at pivotal moments (no sex involved).

So how do I feel about this? I think it’s fine, they’re carrying on with a lifestyle which they choose and feels it fits them. For instance, I choose to follow a lifestyle of where I feel passionate about feminine hygiene and menstruation and although in the view of many, it might not be “normal” or “proper” – it is who I am. Likewise, if these people feel like they’re females trapped in a male body (or vice-versa), they have all the right to “change” themselves to suit the body which matches who they are on the inside. I wouldn’t necessary say I’ve “doubted” being male before, there has been times that I thought it’d be ‘pretty cool’ to know what being female would be like. It doesn’t necessarily mean I have any desire to cross-dress or go MtF, but it does mean I have a desire to ‘know’ that being female is all about – perhaps a magical “live in a girl’s body for a day” scenario. I have to admit, I’ve seen many pictures of transsexuals before, and many are extremely pretty, even beyond what a genetically-born woman would be like and have “perfect” genitalia (since they’re fabricated). Do I think ladyboys can be hot? Ya sure, LOL.

The hormonal therapy is really where the kicker is at, because that changes much of their body structure and facial features. It’s amazing what hormones can do to the body with little effort. Even after a month of regular hormonal treatment can easily change the appearance of males<->females. I’m a big believer of living a lifestyle which best suits you, whether this is by gender, interests or career. If a person feels they are female, then they are. If a person feels they are male, then they are. Many countries have uni-sex toilets and in the “Great North America” we seem to have issues with this as many places you go, you will find washrooms labeled distinctly for ‘men’ or ‘women’. There are some places that have “family” washrooms and VERY FEW that have an “any” washroom to cater to those who do not feel associated with a certain defined gender or whatever. Maybe it’s just me, but I wouldn’t have a problem going to the washroom with mixed genders. The first time I ever went into a true unisex toilet (by that, I meant it wasn’t a “single” bathroom used by men/women.. men and women were in there CONCURRENTLY) was at a University here in Ontario. I thought it was interesting how males and females just wandered in the washroom and really didn’t pay attention to those around them.

Nong Poy - Don't see a penis, looks like a vagina to me!

Nong Poy - Don't see a penis, looks like a vagina to me!

The more we emphasize the need to “differentiate” – the more we feel embarrassment and shyness. It wasn’t only a matter of going to the washroom, but their entire “washroom-related” things were all done co-ed, including showering. I decided since I was there to see it, I mind as well experience it. I threw a towel on and went into the showers and next to me as this blond girl who I could only see “from the head up.” As we showered, she could tell I was ‘an amateur’ and began to talk-me-up to break the silence and awkwardness. I’m sure my eyes clearly avoided any type of contact with her as to “not stare” but to everyone else, carrying out conversations with the opposite gender, with a mere wall separating each other was hardly an issue. As I relaxed the conversation flowed easily and she soon decided her shower was done. We said our goodbyes and as I breathed a sigh-of-relief not having to gaze elsewhere, she tiptoed back and asked me for my name as she said she didn’t recognize me. I told her my name, mentioned that I was only staying as a guest and that she probably wouldn’t see me again. At that point, I also noticed she was not covered in a towel and was fully nude in front of my stall with her boobs just there. Now I think back, I don’t even know if I had an erection or not, LOL.

Anyways, Kathoey’s can vary in degree of femininity, whether it is simply dressing as one (cross-dressing), speaking like one or even go the whole-nine-yards making physical changes, breast implants, hormone replacement, butt augmentation and getting rid of a very male-feature, the adam’s apple. Because of my interests in periods, I’ve also stumbled upon many cross-dressing, sissy, transgendered lifestyle based sites. I have definitely done some reading around and just to learn, while I do not have the seem yearning for femininity for myself, I can definitely appreciate what they go through, sometimes involving physical pain, mental anguish and pressure from society. I’ll have to say, some of the voice-changes that can happen is just amazing.

It would appear that ladyboys in Thailand culture is very open compared to most places. Judging from the reactions of the audience, when Bell was discovered as a transsexual during the voice/song switch, people didn’t seem to bat an eye. Both the guys and the girls erupted in applause and even the guys (knowing that Bell is/was a ‘he’) still seemed to really have the hots for her. Although I’ve never been to Thailand, I’ve already heard many stories of the ladyboys there and how prominent they are. I’ve also been warned about being very careful there, because you don’t know whether you’re pushing your dick into a “real” or “fake” vagina 😆 I don’t have the exact comment, but one of the comments posted up on a forum (regarding Bell Nuntita as a transexual) said something along the liens of, “If you’re going to have sex with an ugly girl, mind as well have sex with a ladyboy!” and also I found this funny but true quote…:

Bo Wang: I’d totally hit that.

Elijah: Yeah man, same here.

I mean really, if you’re going anal with a lady or lady boy what’s the difference?

I’d tap that ass (with a condom of course).

You know you would too…

So although one would think that being a straight male, we’d automatically be repulsed by the thought of having sex with a ladyboy, the idea may not be all that far-fetched. So there you have it, a bit of understanding into the ladyboy culture (a very SMALL understanding at that) and also that this is quite “common in Thailand. I would not say that they’re treated “equals” to non-transsexual counterparts, but what I can say for sure is that they get much better treatment within their Thailand society than in other places in the world, especially places like Canada and the U.S. The things I even see happen here locally and the segregation and mockery that happens to those of the LGBTQ individuals makes me shake my head. I’m sure many of you might wonder why I don’t fall into that community despite my interests in femininity, feminine hygiene and such, but I like all that stuff because I’m a heterosexual male who LOVES the female body 😛 not so much that I “want to be one” 😀

Accepting Responsibilities For Those You Love

For most, responsibilities pile on as you grow up, some earlier than others. While I consider myself unlucky, I also consider myself lucky when “compared to others.” My dad passed away when I was 22, leaving me with much pressure to “grow up quickly.” I consider myself lucky because I had a wonderful and unparalleled father for a whole 22 years of my life and because many others in this world, lose their parent, parents much earlier – some will have never experienced their parents love other than birth. Suffice to say, it is always nice to simply be grateful for what you have. Moving forward, I’ve had to take on the responsibility of taking care of my mother, something that any PROPER and FILIAL son should do… or I should say, something that any child should do.

Over the 4 years without the protection of my father, I’ve had to take on much of the responsibilities around the house – and by that, not necessary domestic chores as those are still handled by my mom who I wholeheartedly appreciate, but that of all the other “problems” when they arise – whether it is getting finances in order or making such the next meal hits the table. The stress sometimes is overbearing but at the same time, I have to stay strong. I am definitely not alone, in this vast world, I am like many… I do not claim myself to be a martyr or some kind of superhero that is above others. However, today I had a revelation about growing up and simply accepting responsibilities because you have to.

This all came to me as I was out shoveling the snow. Yes, weird place to be “inspired” eh? Today has been an interesting day, with me driving half-way to work before realizing that work was closed today. Good thing I didn’t go all the way there before finding out. If I had known, I could’ve just rolled back in my bed and snoozed again. It was pretty treacherous in the morning waking up to piles of snow. We had been told to expect 5-10cm, but it was definitely more than that. As I shoveled my way out to work, it was not unusual since I’ve been doing this all winter. I usually do it myself because I’m the one going to work, not my mom, so I don’t expect her to help. When my dad was around, shoveling was always considered the “men” duty and also the “fatherly” duty… so before I got up, my dad would usually have the driveway cleaned and I’d just hope in my car and drive to work. Yes, now I look back, I was spoiled, so now I have to hold up this responsibility now. Surely, I cannot expect my mom to do something like this! Furthermore, it wasn’t until recently she got her pills to control a thyroid problem which elevated her heart rate, so the last thing I need is for her to go out and shovel snow for me – that’s not right. All this revelation and stuff happened because the feeling of being out there was ominous and depressing. I was out there and as bunched up as I was, the sleet was slamming against my face, winds blown against me, fighting the cold and the snow blowing in my eye.. having to stop every time the wind blew hard trying to hold my balance – it was a very gray mood. I thought to myself why people cherish life so much when this is what you endure.. and I mean there’s bigger problems in life than snow, LOL!

When I came back home, I just lazied around the house for the afternoon until I decided to look out again. Holy, the snow had not stopped and the driveway was once again high. I got my snow-clothing on and out came the shovel from the garage. This time, it was HORRID compared to the morning shovel. As I pushed from HALF of my driveway width to the other, the snow was already tight enough where I could push no more. The snow was wet and heavily packed in and was not the nice fluffy stuff that’s easy to move around. I decided to bring out my (very shitty) snow-blower, which had failed the last 3 times I’ve tried to use it. In this entire winter, it has only worked once. I will endeavour to buy one for the next winter, however, this thing is a piece of shit. I’ve already been angry with it the previous times, but with how bad the snow has been, it only compounded the situation. As I tried to start it for the 5th time, I had enough of it. I took my shovel and slammed against it. I hissed under my breath that if it still didn’t start up, it was forfeiting its life. Pulled on the engine rope, sputtered and no-go. That was enough of that, I drew my axe out from my garage and beat the shit out of it. My mom was yelling at me since she hates it when I get furious. I admit, I can have a temper sometimes, especially when things fail me. I do not tolerate failure of things like this and it pisses me off, especially when I need it most. If it is not willing to cooperate, why should I keep it around? I now have a partially destroyed snow-blower. If I was any less rational, I would’ve loaded both my guns and shot the shit out of it. Things in my house do not defy me unless they want to be blown to bits. Luckily, I was still in the right mind to know that shooting a gas-filled snow-blower is not very smart.

I continued to plow the driveway and while doing so, that’s when it dawned to me the thing about growing up, taking up responsibilities and also accepting the fact, these will likely be on-going responsibilities, sometimes with increasing complexity. As I was pushing the snow around, I thought to myself, this is going to be pretty much how the rest of my life will play-out. Whether I am plowing it for my own or not, my responsibilities extend beyond my “own” life. I thought about how in the future, it will likely be me getting up at dawn, plowing the driveway and making sure the kids and bebe will be able to get to work and school on time. I realized that I may need to be the one to drive them around, whether to school or to work on bad days – while still having to get myself to work. I realize that I may need to have breakfast ready when they wake up and pack their lunches… things I don’t have to do now and simply never bothered crossing my mind about having to just be grown up and letting responsibilities evolve from easy to hard. I have to return home, get dinner prepared, kiss the kids and bebe as they walk through the door, smile – even if my day has been shit. It’s just about being responsible to carry your own burdens and not pass them to your family. At night when bebe and I lie next to each other, I have to make her feel like she’s in the spotlight, even if I want to be the center-of-attention. I have to listen to her talk while I’m dead-tired. Nevertheless, she’s my baby, I chose to marry her and have wonderful kids together – these are my responsibilities and choices. Where once shoveling the driveway was to ensure I could get out to work, it will mean so much more when I have to do it for our kids and do it for bebe.

There are many obligations we have in life, whether we are prepared for them or not – life does not care. Life does not care whether you WANT to deal with them, they throw it at you anyways and EXPECT you to. I asked myself, am I ready to take on these responsibilities? Am I ready to be a good boyfriend, a good husband, a good father? The only thing I’m sure of right now is I’m ready to be a good son – or so I try. These responsibilities are something we choose to sacrifice ourselves for – I realize that once you have “others” involved… your life is not simple anymore.. you are not thinking for 1, you are thinking for 2 or perhaps many. Such is growing up and that is perhaps why some people choose to stay single or not have children. You’ll notice that many couples who do not have children are often much younger for their age – because they simply do not carry the same stress and burdens. They need not consider saving money for future-planning and they don’t have to worry about leaving money behind. They can earn a dollar and spend a dollar. They don’t need to stick to a schedule that revolves around someone else. However, as much as all those things sound alluring, I would have to say I still love the family life. As much as it will suck that I have to get up before bebe and the kids to and prepare everything, be the one to fall asleep last after having tucked them away, I’m willing to do so. Knowing that I have a world full of responsibilities waiting for me as bebe and I get serious and bring new life into this world, I stand steadfast and anxious.

These responsibilities are often sacrifices on our behalf. Responsibilities come with rewards and also comes with much juggling. What is the most important to tackle at X time or is Y-item more important? Everything bears on your shoulders and perhaps I’m thinking VERY old fashion, where the guy is the “man of the household” (I can hear the feminists knocking my door now), bebe and the kids rely on me to stay strong and to protect them. The protection may be physical, emotional, psychological or just a sense of security, but I cannot be the weak link… I’m not being strong just for me, when I may feel like breaking down to cry, but I have to be there for them. Just a few nights ago when bebe was yelling at me, she told me she couldn’t feel that happiness when she gives/sacrifices for me. It was like being stabbed in the heart and the knife being slowly pulled out. How would you feel if someone you loved and cared for told you something like that? I was stricken… I felt like as if my whole life had just washed away. Although now things have calmed down and perhaps those words were simply said in-the-moment, the pain still needs to be diluted. Honestly, I wish I could delete those words from my head, as easy as I could delete it from my phone, but alas… such is not the case. Even now when I reread what she wrote me, I get shivers down my spine.

In a way, I’m kind of looking forward to having more responsibilities and as tough as it may be, it’s a good indication of happiness. Sometimes there’s no way you can put into words how to pay someone back for how they have helped. You cannot put a price-tag on everything in life and although waking up at 6AM to make breakfast for bebe may not be the most thrilling prospect of my life, if even she gave me that smile and kiss before she goes past the doors in the morning, all of a sudden, that alarm going off at 6AM may not suck so much. It took me a lot of time, considering whether I wanted to buy bebe’s Valentine’s Present, because it is the most I have ever spent on a girl before. The present was very much from deep down.. that is.. deep down from my heart and from my pockets, LOL. I’m not going to kid you, that set my credit card quite a bit and that’s why I want her to wear it often. I hope she brought it out with her this time and wore it… and that I can see that beautiful necklace on her when I see her on Sunday. So many small things in life mean so much… more than what people could ever place a “value” on it.

Feminine Hygiene Products and Your Vagina is Repulsive. Period.

Hygiene Matters. Period.

Hygiene Matters. Period. (SCA)

Holy crap, before someone shoots me, that is not what I think – it just happens to be the topic of my entry and also the general sentiment within the media industry. Having a short discussion with one of my readers via comments on my blog, he brought up an excellent point – that because of culture and religion, menstruation is “viewed” very differently. I’m going to start to touch on this topic for 2 reasons. One, was because I was inspired by @campaignperiod showing me a video link and from that, I read up on the Hygiene Matters 2011 Report compiled by SCA. I realize I’m probably giving them free advertisement, but whatever… it was great having read this little report and yes, it IS little, only 43 pages and if you’ve read 300 page reports before, this is nothing, lol. I highly recommend those interested in personal well-being, whether male or female, to read it. If you are not interested in going through something that long (and it is NOT all about menstruation, it is about hygiene in general), please at least see this video.

The second reason was because as I was going through my MENinMenstruation YouTube account, I was “recommended” a video that caught my eye. Bebe once sent me a parody of how “strict” Malaysia TV broadcasting is when it comes to ‘revealing’ body parts. There are so many countries in the world and many cultures that have a particular view of menstruation, so you may wonder why I particularly selected that country and whether it had been influenced by bebe. In this case, it didn’t, because it showed up on my “suggested” videos to watch in which I read a very interesting quote:

6. Are there restrictions upon creative license in Malaysia?

Until very recently, sanitary napkins were not allowed to be shown on TV. Apart from that we could not show armpits or navels.

– Kancil Awards 2008 Chairperson Interview

I’m not interested in generating a debate over religion on my blog. As far as this entry is concerned, all people need to understand is that Malaysia’s official religion is Islam. According to Article 160 of the Malaysian Constitution, all ethnic Malays are considered Muslim, which approximately 60.4% of the Malaysian population practicing the Islam religion. Thus, you can see why broadcasting rules within Malaysia are so strict. I have a Muslim coworker and he is highly devoted and abides by the rules set forth by his religion closely. Although I knew about that showing of the armpits and navels on public TV in Malaysia violates broadcasting rules, I did not know that even sanitary napkin commercials were not allowed until I read the quote as stated above. For as long as I can remember, I always struggled in finding sanitary napkin commercials or even (Malaysian) manufacturer websites regarding sanitary napkins. All of this now makes sense as to why I had such difficulties!

Libresse Maxi Pads made by SCA. These are the same ones bebe gave me, but these are not mine and I did not take the picture!

Libresse Maxi Pads made by SCA. These are the same ones bebe gave me, but these are not mine and I did not take the picture!

Further digging revealed an article which was published fairly recently in October of 2010 by The Malaysian Insider author, Dina Zaman. There was a particular quote that almost made me choke on my coffee, not because I was disgusted by the thought of menstruation, but rather, how someone could have such a STARK view of menstruation…

“For example, commercials on sanitary pads are openly shown on TV and this could influence the young to get involved in social ills,” said Johor Bahru Puteri Umno member, urging the ministry to increase shows that teach good values and religious practices.

Umm.. excuse me, did I just read that seeing a commercial of sanitary pads would cause me to be involved in social ills? If that’s the case, I should have murdered a ton of people and raped many women by now according this member’s statement. Although I can’t say I’m the most normal of people in my interests such as menstruation, I’m definitely not socially dysfunction and I don’t pose harm to society or something. The likelihood is I’ve watch more sanitary pad commercials than probably all the females I know put together, so this member must hate my guts by now, lol. The author of the article then continues to write (regarding the above statement):

As a still menstruating woman, I have yet to witness how sanitary pads and their ads could lead one to sin. I have always thought that sanitary pads are a bane to women and frighten the hell out of men, especially bloody and wet ones.

The CMCF (The Communications and Multimedia Content Forum of Malaysia) under Part 3 section 8.6 of their broadcasting standard dictates..

8.6
Sanitary Protection Products and Incontinent Pads For Adults
Advertisements in this product category is unusually sensitive and commercials for it can easily cause offence or embarrassment, even among people who have no objection in principle to its being advertised on television. Because it is often viewed in a family setting, television advertising needs to be treated with restraint and discretion. Anyone intending to produce a commercial for a sanitary protection product and incontinent pads for adults MUST abide by the following:-
(a)
Restriction on Times of Transmission Commercials portraying a sanitary protection product and incontinent pads for adults are permissible only after 10.00pm.
(b)
Visual Treatments and Product Descriptions Sanitary protection products and incontinent pads for adults – visual treatments must be done with taste and restraint, particular care is needed with shots of unwrapped towels, pads or tampons, whether actual or diagrammatic. Detailed references, whether in sound or vision, should avoid graphic descriptions which might offend or embarrass viewers.
(c)
Appeals To Insecurity Sanitary protection products and incontinent pads for adults – no commercial may contain anything which, either directly or by its implication, is likely to undermine an individual’s confidence in her own standards of personal hygiene. No implication of, or appeal to, sexual or social insecurity is acceptable. Commercials may not suggest, by whatever means, that menstruation is in any way unclean or shameful and variations of the word “clean” are unacceptable in advertising for this product category, as are other potentially offensive words such as “odour”. The same applies to the advertising of incontinence.
(d)
Taste and Offence All advertisements for the category of sanitary napkins and incontinent pads for adults must not offend against good taste or decency or be offensive to public feeling and should not prejudice respect for human dignity.

So within that section, they state that they do not want commercials suggesting that menstruation is unclean or shameful (insinuating an attempt to be positive). However, from my perception of the above conditions of a commercial they want to avoid embarrassment, offensiveness and requires “restraint” that they’re being completely contradictory. They want you to avoid making menstruation or related products sound negative, yet they’re clearly NOT comfortable with the idea of advertising such products. Furthermore, I wanted to cry when I read that, “…portraying a sanitary protection product and incontinent pads for adults are permissible only after 10.00pm.” Wow.. after 10PM… that’s when all the kids “should” be asleep.. imagine if they ever stayed up past 10PM, their eyes and brains would be tainted forever should they be SO unfortunate as to seeing a commercial which depicts a menstrual or incontinent product. Their childhoods would be forever ruined and those kids will probably have premarital sex, fail at school and kill their parents as a result 🙄 If I ever had to deal with the broadcasting industry, even in Canada, I’d get so infuriated with this that I’d ask to borrow one of my girls used pad or tampon and just chuck it at the camera.

Clearly someone has the same taste of pads as I do :P

Clearly someone has the same taste of pads as I do 😛

Let’s move back into “North America” for a bit… you know, the free world where we have “freedom” of everything. In this land where drugs, sex and violence is shown freely on TV, and where I could probably get away with saying, “I’m going to fucking shit on your head and piss on your mother” – yet, if I were to say the word vagina, oh my god, I’m sure it’d be bleeped out for sure! This is not new news, so sure, bitch at me if I’m digging up older topics, but it linked into this one so whatever. You can read up on a UK news/blog author’s (Richard Adams) post on the whole U by Kotex thing when it started. The article writes:

An executive for Kimberly-Clark, the owner of Kotex, notes that US TV networks have no such compunction about references to “erectile dysfunction” in prime-time ads for Viagra and Ciallis.

You know, back in the day when I still had cable TV, I felt really uncomfortable when that 40 year-old guy came on the screen and was talking about the “issues” he had… essentially he can’t get it up or goes ‘limp’ when he has sex… and that it is a common problem and there should be no embarrassment to asking the doctor for help in getting Viagra prescribed. Umm.. I found that this was much harder (and grosser) to watch when my parents were around, than a maxi pad or a tampon commercials. Let’s face it, if erectile dysfunction should not be embarrassing and is a common issue, then how is MENSTRUATION of all things “unnatural” and “should cause embarrassment”? Menstruation, unlike erectile dysfunction, is a natural bodily process and the use of menstrual protection products to manage it is the hygienic and proper thing to do. Me knowing that you can’t get hard makes me more uncomfortable than if you were to tell me you were having your period. Hey, maybe it is just me and the fact I like periods that makes it feel more normal, but I really don’t want to know that you can’t pump enough blood to your dick to make it hard. Furthermore, it is also “frowned upon” (as in, they won’t even broadcast your ad) in a commercial to use the proper anatomical reference, vagina on prime-time TV. The last time I saw menstrual fluid, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t blue as well.

Menstruation is still a stigma

Menstruation is still a stigma (Found in the SCA Hygiene Matters Report)

Aren’t those statistics crazy? I have made a blog entry before about how sanitary napkins (because they are the more “conservative” choice over tampons, which you have to *gasp* stick something in your vagina) are still the preferred choice of menstrual protection in Asia regions before, but it was shocking to see how uncomfortable the subject of periods are still to Chinese women. Oddly enough, most of the Asian girls I happen to know are quite open with me on the subject, but I suppose that perhaps bebe is part of that 87% (even though she’s not “from China” per se, she is “Chinese”). The good thing is that even if she’s not open about her period to others, as long as she is to ME, I don’t give a shit 😆 But anyways, even if you look at the U.S (closest to Canada I guess), the statistics still show that HALF of the population still experience social discomforts when they have their period. Clearly, “America” is FAR from reversing the many years of menstrual taboo and the denouement of it. I remember in high school, I had a Swedish girl in my class (boy was she hot, lol) and I remember one time I spotted a tampon in her backpack and I gave it an extra glance. Clearly she caught me looking and during high-school, I was still rather shy about my interest, so I never talked about it… but then after class, she said if I was interested in seeing what a tampon looked like, she said, “Here, you can have my tampon if you want to know what one looks like.” and just put it in my hands, smiled and walked away. I was completely dumbfounded. I mean obviously this one Swedish girl doesn’t represent the entire culture of people, but I get the feeling there’s a lot more openness to menstruation from other cultures than from Chinese culture.

So the moral of this entire post? Feminine Hygiene Products and Your Vagina is Repulsive in the eyes of the broadcasting industry.

Please make sure you check out Period. (@campaignperiod) on twitter, their Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/SCA and oh… just as I was about to end this post, found something cool 😀

Innovative launch of Libresse Secure Fit in Malaysia

2011-03-07

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY | 2010 the Libresse secure fit platform was launched in Malaysia. This is unique in many ways, not only because it is the first Asian market entry for The Libresse secure fit but also because it was decided to launch with a price line, which is completely new in the feminine category in Malaysia.

Libresse secure fit launch in Malaysia - SCAIt means that all products have the same price. A pack of ten thick towels has the same price tag as a pack with eight thin towels. However price is not the main differentiator. It is the performance and properties of the product that are differentiating Libresse secure fit from its competitors.

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