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Women That Makes You Faint… Bubzbeauty & Jayesslee

I’ve just been bored at work after the meeting today (it was an ass-long meeting, 2.5 hours), so I’ve just been chasing down some videos to watch online. I also forgot to copy my music repository from my home-computer, so I don’t have much to listen to at work except for whatever I can get off the internet, notably Youtube, since I don’t exactly want to surf to illegal sites while on-work premises.

I try to avoid Youtube because I find once I watch one thing, it leads to 50,000 others and I also don’t like to subscribe too much to stuff because then it gives me “reasons” to hop onto Youtube, making hours disappear henceforth, therefore, I will only go there when I’m referred to by someone. However, there are 3 girls (although only 2 ‘groups’) who I can’t stand not-watching their stuff and they are Bubzbeauty and Jayesslee! I tend not to like being “fans” of people/groups, because I’m just not that type of person, but these 3 girls really appeal to me because of who they are and what they do… and the difference between them other than the outer-beauty, is the inner beauty which you feel through their genuineness and strive to make EVERYONE feel good about themselves.

JS – Mariah Carey – Hero (cover)

Romantic Soft Updo

You know, there’s a lot of guys who just love a nice pair of boobs or a nice firm bum – and that’s not to say that’s not something desirable, but what kills me the most on girls is that nice, GENUINE, sweet smile! Lindi, Janice and Sonia all have that killer-smile that makes you want to faint. Even though I know none of these girls in person and can’t attest to their personality, the personality that they surface to their fans show them as being compassionate, humble and holding much inner-beauty. There’s nothing that makes a person more UGLY than a bad personality, despite some peoples outer-appearance which they may have been blessed with. These 3 girls all show to their audience that even though they are popular and pretty, they don’t flaunt it as their only defining attribute and while they share their talent of doing makeup and singing in their beautiful voices, they empower those who listen to watch a “feel-good” feeling!

These girls have done charity and have reinforced to the community a positive spirit. Bubz often does lots of work on defining what inspires her, confidence and how to make one look beautiful. Many girls probably strive to look like Bubz, not only because she is outwardly beautiful, but also because she has that inner-heart of hers that radiate from a good role-model. She encourages guys and girls to look their best and not let their physical appearance be their “failure point” and assure us that we can be a great person, with or without natural-born physical beauty.

Jayesslee blesses their world with their beautiful words and amazing voice. While the do many covers, using other peoples lyrics, they sing with passion and with the intent of bringing joy through music. Rather than money being a core concentration of their talents, they share it with the world to enjoy. While it’s no doubt all good singer(s) want to make a career and earn money from it, they truly have brought me many hours of their songs repetition which touches the heart. These two beautiful Australian twins have not only taken the world with their voices and cuteness, but also through their angelic voices which God has blessed them with to share.

Beyond it all, all 3 of these girls have very striking talents and a face/body which men and women alike admire and adore. If I were a girl, I’d certainly love to look like one of these 3 as well (or a mixture of all 3, WOW, lol). Nevertheless, the reason why I even brought this topic up was not to point out that I’m infatuated with other girls other than bebe, BUT, I was coming to the point is that there’s something that bebe has in common with 3 of these girls… is that bebe has a dead gorgeous sweet smile  (when she wants to show it that is :lol:)… when I’ve seen that genuine, yet kind-of-shy smile from bebe, I thought it was heaven-on-earth. I love how sweet-sweet my bebe looks when she smiles, especially when there’s a bit of embarrassment tinge in it!!! I can’t rave enough about how awesome she is, haha, because she’s very much like these 3 girls with their smiles, it makes you feel warm and fuzzy and because you can feel they’re deeply genuine and not just one of those girls with a “nice” but “fake” smile!

Of course I can’t put up a picture of bebe and I and how sweet she looks when she has that beautiful smile on her face, but I can leave you with a picture of Lindi, Janice and Sonia 😀 Even with all 3 girls holding so much outer-beauty, they strive to make everyone in this world feel good about themselves and use their talents genuinely towards others and not to harm/hinder them by making “lesser” people feel bad about themselves!

Yummy girls eh? My bebe is my one-and-only yummy girl in my life 😀

My Uphill Battle with Learning Chinese-Mandarin

For those who keep up with my blog, I’m sure you’ve seen many references to me learning Mandarin, or Putonghua for those who prefer it being referred to as that. A little background on my “language” abilities. I have grown up in a household of speaking Cantonese, with only English “taught” to me at home, but it was expected I speak Cantonese at home. I remember when I went through that phase of ‘just’ wanting to speak English, my parents told me clearly that if I’m unable to ask for something in Cantonese, it was not happening – this included if I asked for something to eat. I’m sure in today’s standard, that would be considered child-abuse, but my parents idea was if you can’t ask for it in Cantonese, you aren’t getting it! I’m quite glad I was forced to learn Cantonese because it is so damn useful knowing a different language, especially your ‘own’ language.

I was enrolled in “Chinese school” (you’ll understand why I quote that later) for about 6 years. I met a lot of friends there and we were all native Chinese, with those varying from general communication vocabulary to those who could barely say ‘good morning’ to their parents in the morning. Nevertheless, through those 6 years, I cannot say I learn a great deal. Most of my learning just simply came from using it at home and watching Chinese movies. Although in class we were taught to read, write, speak and understand Chinese (Cantonese dialect), during recess or anytime the students communicated with each other, it was all in English. The class was much more of a place for you to “drop off your kids for a few hours” rather than true, hardcore learning. Then again, these classes combined kids from 5 to 15, making an “appropriate teaching level” incredibly hard, especially when you have those who were much more fluent such as I compared to those of my friends who could barely say their own names in Cantonese. I remember I used to loathe my parents for forcing me to learn a language that I would ‘not be practical’ – but let’s face it.. look around the world, Chinese (particularly Mandarin) is working its way up to being one of world’s “international business language.” I’ve seen many Caucasian people taking up an interest in learning Mandarin, mostly because it can move them quickly up the ladder and especially if you plan on doing business with China. Although when I return to Hong Kong I have problems navigating or ordering at places that have menus strictly in Chinese, at the very least I can speak and listen well enough to hold my own.

So before I started learning Mandarin, I had an excellent grasp of spoken/listening to Cantonese, very minor written/reading comprehension of Chinese characters and almost completely fluent in written/reading/spoken/listening of English. Although I had always known that knowing more languages never hurts, languages are not a particularly easy thing to learn… or at least not for me. Also, females seem to be a lot more adept at picking up languages than guys due to biological factors. I remember that I was one of the top 3 students in my grade during high school in French. My French teacher had highly encouraged me to continuing my pursuit of French due to “natural ability” for it. The truth is I didn’t have any natural ability in French, I simply studied very hard for my class, with many hours dedicated when I got home to learning enough to do well on my tests. In the end, I stopped taking French after my mandatory credit year because I just didn’t feel like it was useful in my future career field (in computers). Secondly, learning French was very hard for me, so as much as my teacher thought I had a knack for it, I really didn’t.

The reason I never took up Mandarin before was because I saw it as a language of little use to me. To me, speaking Cantonese was already enough, along with the most useful language in Canada, English. My cousin had always said I should definitely pick up Mandarin so I can hit on all those cute Taiwanese chicks. I’ve never found a Taiwanese girl I’ve really been interested in, so I never felt that desire to learn it. Furthermore, I have this unfortunate (and I’m not claiming it to be correct) equation of Mandarin and China-Mainlander girls who I did not have the most positive feelings about. Over time as I was deciding to pick up Mandarin so that communication would be easier between bebe and I and furthermore, hoping to bridge that gap of communication between her family and friends with me, it took a lot of effort for me to bring myself to learning a language which I have no grasp of at all. You may think, “Hey, you know Cantonese… so therefore, Mandarin must be very easy for you!” – this is not the case as much as you may think.

Cantonese, Mandarin and the many dialects spoken within China all share a common base, it is the written form of Chinese characters. Before my mom’s Mandarin was more fluent, she volunteered at an organization where there was a Mandarin-speaking lady. Although a lot of the communication were in English, when they could not convey what they wanted to, they wrote it out in Chinese. For me, it is harder for me to build the connection between Cantonese and Mandarin spoken forms is because I have a very minor understanding of written Chinese. It’s easy for my mom because she can put 1 and 1 together… “So this characters sounds like X in Cantonese and sounds like Y in Mandarin based on what I read.” and since I cannot read it very well, I can’t equate X with Y. As you can see, this makes learning Mandarin for me a very uphill battle.

Why did I start learning Mandarin? I began to learn it when I returned from Hong Kong this year. Bebe had expressed to me that she sometimes finds it uncomfortable that I am not able to understand her in her language. Suffice to say, although we share two common languages, Cantonese and English, I can understand her want of me to learn her language. Even I think it would make hanging out with her friends and spending time with her family much more convenient. As you may have read, I had a dislike of learning Mandarin, but sure enough, I feel that I can put forth much effort in learning this language to make future communication a lot easier. Learning languages when you’re older is not like learning it when you’re young. My brain is much slower to absorb and it takes actual effort. When I was young, I barely recall how I truly “learned” languages other than listening to people use it and it’d naturally kick-in. As I got older, this is no longer the case. Although I listen to a lot of people speak Mandarin around me, prior to me starting my lessons, it was just a bunch of words that floated in one ear and out the other.

Switching from Cantonese and learning Mandarin is quite hard because Mandarin is the “original” and “proper” way of the Chinese language. Speaking Mandarin follows the strict written form of Chinese, unlike Cantonese where we have lots of words that don’t even exist in the written form or even within the actual Chinese dictionary. In fact, a lot of my Mandarin-speaking friends have problems picking up Cantonese because we like to use “non-existent” words. Bebe has amazingly mastered Cantonese, probably from watching all those TVB dramas. My realization and pain was having to relearn many of the vocabulary I use. Something as simple as saying “house” 屋企 does not actually exist within the realm of Mandarin and written Chinese. Although those who speak Cantonese and Mandarin might be able to understand that if you were to use those characters together in Mandarin, it is definitely not the PROPER way of saying it. 房子 is the proper written and Mandarin spoken form of house. There is much slang used in Cantonese, so it has taken me a lot of reworking of my brain to deal with the “formalized” Chinese. Mandarin is easy if you have grown up properly learning written Chinese as written Chinese follows-suit with spoken Mandarin. Cantonese not only has a lot of slang, but literally, a bastardized version of Mandarin and Chinese. Mandarin is a very formal and cultivated (斯文) language and I never realized this until I began learning it. Before I started learning Mandarin, I also found it to be a very annoying language, because I suppose it sounded like screeching to me. I ended up relating that to the fact that the people I hear speaking Mandarin aren’t the more “elegant” types. Listening to a very gentle, Mandarin-speaking girls or even  Taiwanese ones (although Taiwanese people have their own language-set, they share a lot of the wording with traditional Mandarin) is actually very sexy. Mandarin really is beautiful when it comes out from the right mouth… haha, especially bebe’s!

People have always complained that I speak English way too fast – most notably when I’m presenting. Teachers always used to say that I got too nervous when presenting and I’d begin to speak really fast, but then I explained to them that it is due to habit of speaking Cantonese. Chinese languages in generally are extremely fast and pronunciations can be VERY easy to miss. I never noticed I spoke very quickly in Cantonese though, but now when I listen to bebe talk on the phone with her friends, I realized that Mandarin is also a very fast-paced language… that is bad, from a learning perspective, lol. When I listen to people speak Mandarin slowly, I have time to notice the tones and decode the word. When they speak fast, I’m trying to absorb so much I only catch bits and pieces of it. Of course I need to adapt to listening to it and decoding it fast enough, but that will come with time and exposure. I always hoped that when we go out, bebe can use some easy communication with me in Mandarin, but I try to avoid it with her mainly because I don’t think she has the patience to teach me her language and all that would do is get her frustrated and then become even more negative. I’m not saying I could even hold up a complex conversation as well as I can in English or Cantonese, but that is a START.

Rosetta Stone - Mandarin

Rosetta Stone - Mandarin

I started using a program called Rosetta Stone. I did a lot of research into this program before getting it because it is a lot of money. It’s about $500 for the entire Mandarin Chinese box set. Yes, I am nuts, all that damn money right? Well, it’s for bebe and there’s almost nothing that I wouldn’t do for her to help our relationship. One could argue learning a new language is only for my own gain, but the reality is why ELSE would I need to learn this language otherwise? Everywhere I need to go I can get away with just English and if necessary, Cantonese. This program is incredibly long and built with much complexity – not complexity for the student, but the way they make it WORK. I’m absolutely amazed by how much I have learned. Even my mom, as rare as it may be, expressed how proud she is that I can pick up the language so quickly. Now, I’m not saying I’m a professional Mandarin speaker now, but compared to how crappy my Mandarin was before (or try, not even knowing any, lol) – it is a huge JUMP over a matter of 2 months. For the first few sections, I did relatively fast, however, I am beginning to slow down. This is not because I’m losing the drive to learn, but because the chapters are beginning to become harder, making fast chapter advancements much slower. I’d much rather take the time to perfect it and truly understand it, rather than trying to jump ahead for the sake of “getting further.”

What makes this program so amazing when there are so many language-learning programs out there right? Well, I’ve experienced it first hand myself, WOW! They use a method called “Dynamic Immersion” and while there are times when it simply tries to drill things in your head over and over again, you don’t feel it much – unlike at school. Honestly, there were times I quit a chapter and said to myself, “Damn, there’s no way I can even remember this” and then I walk away. When I think of it a day later, all of a sudden I realized I could remember it… in fact, almost crystal-clear. It makes me amazed at how well they’re able to make things stick in your head. I didn’t even know I learned that stuff when I actually DID! One of the biggest things about learning a new language is finding someone to speak it with you. Luckily, I have many friends who are native-Mandarin speakers, who help me along my way. However, I still find it tough to bring myself to have conversations with them. On the other hand, when I go out to places like T&T or even at the Chinese food place in the mall, I dare to speak it with them – however little I can do. I know that unlike a fluent-speaker, I spit out word-by-word rather than “smoothly” – but at least I should get credit for ATTEMPTING it rather bravely. The reality is that when I speak to these people, they may be laughing inside at my horrible attempt to ‘speak their language’ – but I may never see them again, so it’s easier to get over my follies. On the other hand, speaking to someone I know always seems rather embarrassing when I can’t get the right words out. I wish I was more like my dad because he told me when he came to Canada, his English still wasn’t “all the way there” and he’d often carry a dictionary around as he conversed and eventually, built up his language skills enough to be fluent. Nevertheless, he always said to me, “Sure, I’m sure those people laughed at me when I tried to speak English, but I don’t care what they think!” – if I had that kind of courage, I’d be much better off.

I think about this entire learning process, I must say, it is rather wonderful. Every time I complete each “section” just a small fraction of a chapter, I feel extremely proud. I know bebe is feeding me the willpower and the intellect to continue learning. I’ve lost motivation many times in the past, particularly with working out, lol, because I lack that DRIVE. This time, bebe is providing me with this drive, enabling my mind to stay concentrated and to focus on learning this language. Bebe is also giving me a reason to learn it, because it will help improve our communication ability with each other and also, making sure that I understand what’s happening around me when her family or friends are speaking Mandarin. Do I dare say that I’ll be able to decode everything that will happen around me? Well, maybe and maybe not. As I get more exposure to Mandarin, hopefully through her and interactions with family and friends, I’ll be able to pick up on “real” lessons through experience and immersion – rather than just through this program. Although I may only be able to communicate effectively after finishing the entire 3 sets , further immersion into her environment will truly help me to build upon what I learned and make my language learning practical.

For those who are learning Mandarin or perhaps even a different language, I will definitely vouch for Rosetta Stone being a great tool. I’m not sure whether it effectively replaces a “teacher” or “in-class lesson” – but I’ll tell you it’s definitely cheaper and less time consuming. The odd thing is this type of learning style doesn’t require “homework” – but reinforces the learning very well. Conversely, many of the “taught” courses all require in-class lessons along with homework to accomplish the same thing. According to them, you learn naturally, speak confidently and stay motivated. The way they teach the language simulates the way that children learn languages, therefore making it effortless for me to learn it. Like I said, I didn’t even realize I learned half the things I actually did. By matching apple with apple, it made the learning experience EASY. Speaking confidently, I definitely do it well in front of the computer. This programs has a state-of-the-art voice recognition system which is very important particularly for Mandarin because of the word enunciation and that tone is absolutely CRUCIAL. Sometimes I get tongue-tied saying something and it forces me to say it over and over again until I get it right! Of course when I actually speak it with people, they don’t ask me to “say it again” (unless it’s REALLY messed up) and we make do with trying to communicate with what I do know. Staying motivated is amazing how they do it. Because the program allows you to go at your own pace, repeat things, pause on things, fast forward and doesn’t hassle you – I feel very RELAXED when I’m taking these lessons. These lessons also feel very fulfilling after I complete them, I get a sense of, “Hey, I’m doing better!”

Looking at one of the words I learned, I almost know I’m going to trip on it one time and get my ass laughed off. Nevertheless, it’ll be pretty funny. Washroom is 衛生間 or pronounced wei sheng jian. Sanitary napkin is 衛生巾 or pronounced wei sheng jin. Whether or not you can properly read pinyin, as you can see, the sounding of those are EXTREMELY close, lol. Maybe to a native Mandarin speaker, they can easily separate the tones of jian and jin, but I can’t do it very well at the moment and I need to continue to ensure I hit the right tones XD Can you imagine the embarrassment if I said the wrong thing? LOL! Um.. “Excuse me, where can I find the WASHROOM?” 😆 — can you see the potential for major catastrophe there? HAH! Of course I wouldn’t mind being led to the sanitary napkins section if I was in a supermarket, but how weird would that be if I asked that in a restaurant? Oh man…

Anyways, so today, I was planning to have a lighthearted discussion with bebe. I told her I missed her while she was away and asked her if she felt the same. Obviously she couldn’t answer that, so then I kind of asked her why she still doesn’t feel like that. I was not planning on having a huge argument over it because when I asked her, it was simply of inquisitive nature and I wasn’t intending to imply she was “not being fulfilling enough” – which is what I guess she ended up perceiving it as. It was really just an innocent and perhaps grin-and-ask type question, one of those ones you never really expect an answer for. I expected a shrug and a “I just don’t feel ready yet” answer and then that would’ve been the end of that and moved on. Unfortunately, because of my stinking big mouth, it erupted into a very negative situation. The bad thing is that if I had just said nothing, it wouldn’t have caused all of this.

Sometimes I tell myself I’m so fucking stupid for saying things like that. I know that I understand myself and that I know when I am joking or just prodding at her – but sometimes she doesn’t know when I’m doing that and then she ends up taking things the wrong way. I was in no way telling her or wanting to making her feel she wasn’t “holding up her end” because she is – I can tell just from the past 3 months that she’s been trying her best to bring those feelings to surface, so there is NO blame at all that I’m placing on her. But unfortunately, by asking, I brought some negativity to the surface and that was purely my fault for bringing it up. Perhaps when I wanted just grin-on-my-face jokingness, it ended up not so well when I can’t convey tone/facial expression properly. It kind of pissed me off WHY I would even say such things… sometimes I question my own intelligence. I know that when she’s ready to take the relationship to the next step, she’ll tell me so, whether verbally or through body language, why would I be so foolish as to even ask her these things, particularly when she has problems conveying her thoughts? ARG. Can’t I just keep my mouth shut sometimes? I totally instigated this… she trailed into a conversation where it was a defining moment whether we would erupt this into something and I still stepped into it by having to make a statement about it. Why must I have an opinion on everything? I should learn what my mom taught me about just holding back sometimes. Ever since my dad passed away, my mom had always said she looked back and wonder why they got into arguments sometimes. It dawned upon her that sometimes if she had just held back her “thoughts” and not always “take a stance” on everything, there would never be a catalyst to start an argument. I know that if I just didn’t comment on what bebe said and I had to “throw my 2-cents of thought” into the conversation, none of this would have happened. I know that it doesn’t change the reality of the situation, but it DOES prevent something like this that gives her MORE leverage and negativity.

I had to completely steer clear of anymore relationship-related stuff because I didn’t want this to fester. The last thing I need is something to give us more reasons to throw at each other. Best to keep the calm and keep the peace. Unlike other couples, maybe we should not talk about the direction of our relationship, and just accept it as-is, lol. Oh, I definitely need less opinions on everything… or well at least not express them. As of the last time I saw her, things were beautiful and we were growing closer. Something happened over the past week with her friend that has really drawn this negativity out in her. I would think perhaps it was relationship or family-related that happened with her friend that seemed to throw a wrench into the crankshaft. Bebe had been so positive about our relationship, up to the last week when she was away at her friend’s and something was amidst. I need to work on embracing bebe’s comfort level with me, making sure that she doesn’t feel like she’s bad in this relationship or the failing point. NEITHER of us are a failing point and we can’t let this relationship fail. I promised bebe I’d continue to be whole I am and told her to stop feeling like she’s “not giving me enough” because I’m not asking for more, I’m asking her to be who she is until she wants to give me more. Sometimes I guess she feels like I’m pushing her or feeling like I’m implying she’s not being satisfying enough. I’m definitely NOT trying to convey that as much as sometimes I ask her things about our direction, I simply want to “know” things – but not with the intention of pushing her beyond her limits at the moment. I know that bebe’s the type of girl that when she feels she’s ready, she’ll step up to the plate – just like she did for us the first time and now is like no other – we will overcome these obstacles together and we will grow and learn to cherish each other in all the right ways to come!

Alan Tam 譚詠麟 – 小風波

如讓你看見這痛苦中的我
誰願再掀起小風波
其實我與你好知心好清楚
但偏要製造苦楚

還願看見你看你想不想我
還願看你心可苦楚
其實你也痛彼此一般的多
問可有快樂分給我

今天的當初我只愛你一個
心裡有句說話要對你說清楚
可否息風波你對我已不錯
心裡也暗暗認我也有一點點錯

還願你再約我到公園等我忘掉了往昔開始過
其實我共你好知心好清楚願此際你在想我
其實我與你過往真開心過留住那笑聲於心窩
其實我共你早交出心一顆應該帶笑入愛河
共墮愛河

OOH但願大家言你與我都有點錯
OOH但願大家言再與你相唱和

Oddly enough, I was JUST listening to this song yesterday so I thought it’d be very fitting today to post it. I blame myself for instigating this argument because I could’ve avoided it all had I just not pushed her buttons. Sometimes I even find myself annoying, why do I purposely do things like that? LOL. It’s kind of like the kid who sees a puddle and still jumps into it, knowing very well that he’ll get dirty! This song is about all the “trivial issues” that couples run into but in the end, he (the singer) expresses that no matter what matters come up, that she (the song recipient) is still the one and only person to him. I really believe in the power of words, because hearing these lyrics makes me think of these stupid little things I do to bebe and although most of it are misunderstandings. Even though bebe and I may sometimes do something that the other end “doesn’t like” – I still know that I need to make myself clear that she is the one and only special girl for me and that these little matters can be overcome. I admit I am wrong to her when I am, and apologize deeply for my mistakes.

I don’t have any pre-translated English versions of this, so if you can understand it – great – if not, oh well 😛 Just skip this part, haha.

Funny tidbit that I never realized how learning Mandarin would help me… I can (partially/fully) understand the pad/tampon commercials that are in Mandarin now, LOL! 😀

Brandy – Have You Ever (MV)

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
(Have you ever)

Have you ever been in love, been in love so bad
You’d do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You’d give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you dont know what to say and you dont know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever (Have you ever)
Have you ever

Ooooh
Have you ever found the one you’ve dreamed of all your life
You’d do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you’ve given your heart to
Only to find that one won’t give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much (so much) it makes you cry
(Makes you wanna break down and cry)
Have you ever needed something so bad(so, so bad) you cant sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
(Have you ever)
Have you ever
Have you ever
(Have you ever ever ever)

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world cuz baby I can’t sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much (so much) it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever…

Loved somebody so much it makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad you cant sleep at night
(Just cant sleep at night)
Have you ever tried to find the words but they dont come out right
Have you ever
Have you ever
(Have you ever ever ever)
Ooooo
Have you ever

I was thinking about bebe this morning… well that’s nothing new, but I was wiping her picture today because the frame was getting dirty from a week and a bit of me not being in the office and it was starting to collect a bit of dust on the top (very dusty environment around here). I always have problems conveying how I feel about her, because it runs so deep and there’s no words that can explain it – nor the pain she causes me I don’t even know how to express it. Nevertheless, somehow this song just popped into my head or rather, mainly the lyrics.

This song is so old and I haven’t heard it in ages, but the words in the songs resonate in my head and somehow I recall them so clearly as when this song was a chart hitter. God, looking at the title, this song was made in 1998. Now I really feel old, haha.

I miss my bebe a lot ❤ just thought the world should know!! Pray for us and that we will reunite soon and that she’ll learn to appreciate me and learn that in life, time isn’t worth waiting as every moment is precious and limited.

The Platters – Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

I coincidentally heard this song in a TVB drama I’m watching today… talk about fucking bad timing. Either way, the lyrics are true… the emotions are true.. and yes, the blindness is true as well. Love can be great or love can suck just as much. Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep and perhaps hope I don’t wake up tomorrow morning. If you think that I’m any less of a man right now for being hurt by love, please feel free to suck my left nut because you’re not good enough for my right.

They asked me how I knew
My true love was true
Oh, I of course replied
Something here inside cannot be denied

They said someday you’ll find
All who love are blind
Oh, when your heart’s on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes

So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed
To think they could doubt my love
Yet today my love has flown away
I am without my love

Now laughing friends deride
Tears I can not hide
Oh, so I smile and say
When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes
Smoke gets in your eyes

譚詠麟 -朋友 (Alan Tam – Friends)

I really wanted to find a good song for my Wednesday post, but couldn’t find one that really I could use. Apparently after reviewing most of my music collection, many of them are Chinese love songs which really wouldn’t be suitable for the occasion, haha. Found an excellent one that fits the bill perfectly! Holy, this is a timeless classic. For those who have grown up in a Chinese family, I’m sure you’ll have heard this song a million times already, LOL.

Translation by: thekeck

譚詠麟 -朋友

Alan Tam – Friends

繁星流動    和你同路
All the stars floating here and there, I walk this road with you
從不相識開始心接近
We never met each other in the past, but now our hearts begin to move closer
默默以真摯待人
Quietly, we treat each other with true sincerity

人生如夢    朋友如霧
Life is like a dream, friends are like a mist
難得知心几經風暴
It is rare to find friends who intimate understand you, and will weather the storms and rain with you
為著我不退半步正是你
It is because of you then I will not take a step backward

遙遙晚空點點星光息息相關
In this faraway night sky, the scatter of stars appear so closely connected
你我那怕荊棘鋪滿路
You & I, even if this road is lined with thistles and thorns
替我解開心中的孤單
You will help me (literally translation is ‘on my behalf’) undo the loneliness in my heart
是誰明白我
It is you whom understands me best
情同兩手一起開心一起悲傷
Our friendship like two hands, passing through the good times and the times of pain
彼此分擔不分我或你
Share each other’s worries and responsibilities, with no differentiation between you and I
你為了我     我為了你
You for me, and I for me
共赴患難絕望里緊握你手
Together, we will pass through trials and troubles and overcome all hopelessness, as I tightly grip your hand
朋友
As friends

Menstrual Product/Attitude Survey… and some happy music!

Changed the video to a better one I found without the crappy audio static

No big update today… but… I was just doing some blog-jumping and found this one asking the girls to fill out a survey.. it takes very little time (said 5 minutes on her site, but it’ll definitely take less unless you do some major analyzing or something, lol..) – please do it if you have the chance. You can refer to her entry on her site if you want! This survey is not affiliated with me in any way, I just thought I could help out someone who is looking for information in-line with my blog topic 🙂

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/FH7M6QS

Tankies!…

Ohh… I must mention that I’m really happy today – something awesome happened, lol.. doesn’t really matter what it is, but damn do I ever feel excited, happy, motivated and rather flattered today XD As much as I bitch about life, I suppose somethings good things do happen…. just wish it happened a bit more often, haha.

Nevertheless, because I’m in such a joyous mood, here’s another one of my favourite medleys by two great singers, Hacken Lee (李克勤) and Alan Tam (譚詠麟). Whenever the songs 一生不變  and 一生中最愛 play, I’m immediately in-tune with it, but the songs are even MORE amazing when they’re meshed together in amazing sequence for both melody and lyrics. To really understand and love these songs, you must also read into the deep meanings of the lyrics.

I have graciously found a people who have within his/her capacity, translated the meaning of the songs very well from Chinese/English:

Title: 一生中最愛 Translated by eileenytheloony

如果痴痴的等某日
If foolishly waiting
終於可等到一生中最愛
can finally end with the love of a lifetime
誰介意你我這段情
who minds our relationship
每每碰上了意外不清楚未來
Everyday there are accidents, the future is unclear
何曾願意  我心中所愛
Never wished the love in my heart
每天要孤單看海
Gazing alone at the sea everyday

寧願一生都不說話
I’d rather keep silent my whole life
都不想講假說話欺騙你
than tell lies to you
留意到你我這段情
Weighing our relationship
你會發覺間隔著一點點距離
You will discover a distance between us
無言地愛  我偏不敢說
Wordless love, I dare not say
說一句想跟你一起  Ooh…
That I want to be with you

如真  如假  如可分身飾演自己
If true, if false, if I could act myself
會將心中的溫柔獻出給你唯有的知己
I would give you the warmth in my heart
如痴  如醉  還盼你懂珍惜自己
If crazy, if drunken, still hope you treasure yourself
有天即使分離我都想你  我真的想你
Even if one day we are apart, I will still think of you
I really miss you

寧願一生都不說話
I’d rather keep silent my whole life
都不想講假說話欺騙你
than tell lies to you
留意到你我這段情
Weighing our relationship
你會發覺間隔著一點點距離
You will discover a distance between us
無言地愛  我偏不敢說
Wordless love, I dare not say
說一句想跟你一起  Ooh…
That I want to be with you

如真  如假  如可分身飾演自己
If true, if false, if I could act myself
會將心中的溫柔獻出給你唯有的知己
I would give you the warmth in my heart
如痴  如醉  還盼你懂珍惜自己
If crazy, if drunken, still hope you treasure yourself
有天即使分離我都想你  我真的想你
Even if one day we are apart, I will still think of you
I really miss you

如真  如假  如可分身飾演自己
If true, if false, if I could act myself
會將心中的溫柔獻出給你唯有的知己
I would give you the warmth in my heart
如痴  如醉  還盼你懂珍惜自己
If crazy, if drunken, still hope you treasure yourself
有天即使分離我都想你  我真的想你
Even if one day we are apart, I will still think of you
I really miss you

如果痴痴的等某日
If foolishly waiting
終於可等到一生中最愛
can finally end with the love of a lifetime

————————————–

Title: 一生不變 | Translated by tlina069

一幽風飛散發披肩
A quiet wind passing by the shoulders

眼裡散發一絲恨怨
The eyes carrying hints of hate

象要告訴我你此生不變
Its appearance tells us that we will never change

眉宇間剌痛匆匆暗閃
Every corner of slashed pain disappears quickly in the dark

憂憂戚戚循環不斷
An unbroken circle of worries and grieves

冷冷暖暖一片茫然
Ignoring warm and cold

視線碰上你怎不心軟
How can’t my heart melt the moment I saw you

唯有狠心再多講講一遍
Having only a scarred heart, that I may bring myself to say more words

蒼天不解恨怨痴心愛侶仍難如願
The dark blue sky can’t separate the hatred from foolishness; to be lovers is such a wishful thinking

分開雖不可改變但更珍惜一刻目前
Although the separation is unavoidable, it makes this moment before the eyes more cherishable

可知分開越遠心中對你更覺挂牽
I know that distance makes the heart grow fonder

可否知痴心一片就算分開一生不變
I know not if this is foolish, however, even if we’re separated, this heart will never change

反反復復多次失戀
I’ve gone through so many heartbreaks

進進退退想到從前
I’ve gone in and out the thoughts of the past

讓我再吻你吻多一遍
Let me kiss you again, kiss you once more

別了不知哪一天相見
Once parted, don’t know when we will see each other again

別了不知哪一天再相見
Once parted, don’t know when we will see each other again

And you wonder why I really like these songs… so touching, sentimental, loving and deep… (sigh) just the way that love, loyalty and commitment are supposed to be like, amidst this world of despair!

Emo….

Poh Ching’s just going to love this… I feel emo today for some reason (no I’m not having my period… lol) … I heard a song on the radio as I was driving to work, probably a left over from valentines day and I had to turn Shazam on my phone (it’s a program that recognizes a songs lyrics/tune) and figure out the artist/song name. It grabbed it – go technology! When I got home, I had to listen to it again… it isn’t that I haven’t heard this song a million times before (I’m into oldies, probably due to my Dad listening to them a lot…) but I couldn’t quite put my finger on the song name.

I don’t have much to say tonight because today at work was so busy I didn’t even known how to manage my time. It isn’t really like there was “a lot of work to do” – but rather, I have been so lazy for the past while that getting my ass moving again was hard. Also, I’m feeling a bit sore from Tae Bo which I started yesterday along with my exercise routine so that I can lose some weight. I took some pictures for Chinese New Years and I’m too embarrassed to post them ANYWHERE, because I look so fat and ugly in them. Thus, this is really giving me to the motivation to lose weight and look good again, because believe me, at one point, I attracted a lot of girls – LOL. Actually, even with my fat face there’s something about me girls dig… I’ll get to it another time, something that happened this weekend, haha. I figured if at any time I lose motivation to work out, I’m going to print out my photos of CNY and tack it to my treadmill, TV and all over the house, hahaha.

Today, I feel the sadness kicking in from CNY/V-Day not being able to spend it with my BeBe. Perhaps over the weekend I had so much company that it diluted the pain, but today, it kicked in full throttle…. and listening to the song in the morning made me even sadder. I don’t have much to say today, so I’ll leave you guys with the song that was on the radio… it makes me cry every time I listen to it, especially when I’m having relationship problems.

I find myself singing to this song, because the lyrics really describe how I feel. Sometimes you can’t help but feel attuned to a song. What beautiful lyrics, what happened to all the artists nowadays who can’t come up with songs other than swearing or inaudible words from screaming?

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