So today I didn’t have a particular “subject” to write about.. but rather, will just go over some random thoughts I had in my head, and perhaps some tidbits or information – whatever you want to call it.
Men… we’re pigs, we absolutely are and I’m sure there are the few true gentlemen out there, but for the most of us, including myself probably, we can get pretty vile. Our department in particular is a male-dominated one. I was just out at lunch with my coworkers the other day, mostly middle-aged men and even many being married still have a pretty disgusting mouth for women. I always thought that men would “settle down” after marriage… I mean after all, you have a woman at home, why go bother with others? Apparently I am wrong and if anything, marriage makes a man go even more rotten, lol. Just listening to what come out of guy’s mouth really made me consider how ‘bad’ we are and I’m not trying to play like I was “the nice guy” – but there’s a point where I can tolerate ‘just being a guy’ to downright perversion.
Listening to them talk about women really put a frown on my face… why do guys objectify women so much? It’s like women are just a “prize to be won” and once you win her (e.g marriage), you stick her on them shelf (metaphorically speaking), bring her out for sex once in a while and then go mess around with other women. I have friends of many ages and of different walks of life, often opening my eyes to things I would not, will not or have not experienced. Men… are very visual creatures and we are also very easy. No, women are not easy, WE are… a woman can lure us in like pitiful dogs as they see fit. Men are easy to control, women have a constant carrot (themselves) to dangle for us and we chase after it. Talking to some of my girls, younger, same age or older, the sentiment is that men are easy creatures to control and toy with, especially if you have something they want. Everything gets us horny, no matter how unattractive or whatever a girl may be (from my heterosexual point-of-view). Age is another thing… it seems like at a younger age, you tend of like older women and there comes a point where it just begins to slide backwards and you prefer younger women. I’m glad not many people I know personally read this, but I think I will always love 18 year old girls, no matter how old I get. I’ve talked to quite a few older men and yep, sure enough, most of them as they get older (into their 40’s) shift into liking the younger bodies all over again.
Stick a couple of guys together and you can hear some pretty perverse things. I can’t say I’m innocent and never said anything. I know bebe pretty sensitive about the male-oriented things I say and so I’m extra careful about what I say to her or around her. I don’t think she understands that “it’s just a guy thing” – and that sometimes it’s a strictly a gender-based thing. Suffice to say, these things don’t apply to everyone, but certainly even science has proven attributes that are associated or commonly found in a particular gender. I enjoy hanging out with a mixture of guys and girls, because I think guys are much better behaved when women are around 😛 .. it includes me too, lol!
So last night, I had a sex-dream. This one was really vivid and when I woke up, I seriously couldn’t differentiate reality for minutes. I was thinking whether this was a dream-within-a-dream, whether it truly happened or whether I was awake. I haven’t had a dream like this in ages and it was so damn sexy. I didn’t feel very horny the night before, so I’m not sure what caused it. It was just a regular day at work, didn’t see any super sexy girls or watch anything in particular that would cause it. I’m long past the hormonal puberty stage, or at least I think so, so it was totally unexpected. It wasn’t really a wet dream or anything since it wasn’t well… wet.. (good thing, LOL), but it was pretty hot. I’m not one of those guys who have sex-dreams a lot, probably because it really takes something/someone special to really rile-me-up. I guess it was just one of those nights eh?
So one of my girls who I’ve known for ages the other day finally told me about her habits of “exploring her own body” (and this conversation was not what caused the above dream, since it wasn’t of her). It was kind of funny in the sense that as she was ‘admitting’ it to me that as if I didn’t know it already… it wasn’t exactly a shocking revelation or something and even though she’s never told me so, it wasn’t like I didn’t expect she did. Given all the things that she’s vividly talked about before, there was no way a girl who’s never explored her own body would ever be able to describe certain things and feelings. I could not help but grin because she must take me for being an airhead or something 😆 … I might not be the most perceptive person, but people often say/do things that give things away, hah.
The conversation started as a result of her complaining about how society allows men to openly express their desires and fantasies, while women are suppressed from doing so. Certainly, this is a very old-fashion thing carried forward to this generation – where women were expected to be “pure” and “innocent” – or rather that is not the word I’d use – more like “naive” and “uneducated”. She commented on how unfair it is that if you hear a guy talking about masturbation or the fact that it is “normal” and almost “expected” for males, yet if a girl were to openly express such things, it would automatically turn against her as if she was some perverse girl or nympho. It’s quite unfortunate that many societies still see many natural occurrences in females are still taboo, and on the topic of this blog, menstruation and even female masturbation. So for about 2 hours she sat there and practicality lectured me on all the “inequalities” of expectations of men and women before telling me her “secret” (still makes me laugh she thinks I didn’t know :P) – it’s quite unfortunate such actions by women are stigmatized, yet almost welcomed amongst males.
I left most of the talking to her, only because discussing such a subject in a bubble tea shop didn’t seem very appropriate, haha – least I got a drink out of it! The funniest thing was that at the end she asked me, “So tell me what you do.” and I’m like, “Hell no! Why would I tell someone who’s NOT my girlfriend these things?” lol. I don’t know too many girls who want to know more about me than I know about them! I prefer to keep it where I know more about them XD One thing that I discovered was that apparently it’s quite common for men and women to continue their own habits even after marriage. Honestly, I thought it wasn’t necessary anymore because like, you have each other to have sex with, why do you need to do it yourself? 😛 Guess I was wrong, lol… that’s gotta suck when your partner is not satisfying you though, urg!
So for the past.. oh.. say.. 9 days, I’ve been working on my own business a whole lot. It was like just 2 weeks before I leave for my vacation and honestly, I just had customers literally phone me and tell me their computer was broken or needed some I.T. services. I don’t know whether “life’s like that” because just weeks ago I was complaining about how this year’s business sucked and now all of a sudden over these 9 days, I think I’ve made about 20% of this year’s income. What the hell?!! Shit I’ve been working my ass off to make sure I finish all the work before I leave! It isn’t so much that servicing is super-hard or time consuming, but rather, I’m worried about getting all the parts in before I leave and getting the work done in-time. I have stacks of “to be paid” invoices now sitting in my box and waiting for the cheques to come in so I can clear all the accounts before I leave. On a slightly separate note, the other day I thought about how I should’ve pursued an accounting career so it would be the same as bebe’s, but then Amy pointed out a good point – that it’s better couples DON’T share the same line-of-work, hah, because then you just end up in arguments about doing stuff “the right way.” I’m content with keeping the computers running and I’ll leave the accounting stuff to bebe, lol. If you both work in separate fields, then you don’t have to worry about criticizing each other’s working style, LOL. The only issue is that I know quite a bit about accounting because it was supposed to be my “backup career” in case I couldn’t make it in computing… so now I have to try to wipe my memory of it and leave all the stuff up to her XD – I don’t want to poke my nose into it, haha, as long as I can keep track of my own business stuff and taxes, I’m happy!
And… shit, it’s 2AM, I’m totally going to sleep. Night!
Does your menstrual fetish affect choosing your girlfriend/partner?
This was an interesting topic posted up by someone on Kayo’s and it isn’t that it is the first time I’ve pondered the notion, but it is the first time that I’ve decided to post or even talk about it. Now the original question was just “fetish” rather than “menstrual fetish” – but obviously I decided this would be more fit for the topic of this blog and of course on the topic of Kayo’s as well. Suffice to say, for a person to say that their own fetish has absolutely NO effect on their choice would be daring, not impossible – but quite hard. Our fetishes are what composes us as an individual and builds our character. This question was indeed a thinker for me and I would give credit to the individual who posted it, but the person posted it did it anonymously, so unfortunately looks like the credit will have to float into cyberspace.
For me, my menstrual interests are a key part of who I am. I do not think about menstruation every moment of the day, but it’s also something I enjoy and strive to learn – just like any other persons hobbies, past-times or educational-interests. Other than the fact that menstruation is taboo, how is it different than learning about how the do an oil change? I admit at one point, my interest in menstruation was a deep-dark secret, that no one except for my girlfriend or ex’s would ever know about, but I am slowly allowing others to see that part of me – like my god-sis’ and close female friends. With the exception of those in Kayo’s menstrual community who share similar love and appreciation of periods, I am still shy to allow my male friends to see this side of me, because they are probably more inclined to feel repulsed.
It’s very easy for me to open up to girls on this matter because I think quite a few of them crave to open themselves up to a male counterpart as well. Maybe I’m just lucky with the girls I know, but most can have very frank, enjoyable and educational discussions with me over this. Moreover, some girls even admit that I know more about periods/feminine hygiene than they do and in turn, educate them on things they didn’t even know about. I believe that when it comes down to knowledge, it is best shared because everyone learns something from each other. I hardly claim myself to be an expert, perhaps a guy with “above-average” knowledge of menstruation. There are obviously lots of male gynecologists or medical practitioners who have superior menstrual knowledge compared to me!
I think I’m more inclined to choose a girlfriend who is open-minded, rather than saying that she has to share my love of menstruation. This is also the case with my friends and more importantly, my girls. I think when a person is close-minded, they become ignorant of the world around them and simply want to live in the comfort of their own seclusion and experiences. Although I recognize there is always the feeling of safety being in one’s safety-zone, it also means that you’re not allowing others to grant you beautiful knowledge about things that are worth learning about. Learning is not always about doing. Knowing how to make a bomb is different than making one to hurt someone. Learning about menstruation does not mean you menstruate OR have to like it, but means you have practical knowledge of it. I have a tough time expressing myself to girls who are socially frigid or closed-minded because I’m an open person who is willing to share but all of the most intimate things. Some people call it TMI – I just call it being expressive.
I want a girlfriend or partner who at the very least is “ok” with my interests. A few years ago, I wanted a girlfriend who must have at least a similar love for it – even if not to the same degree. This I found was a very immature attitude, to expect a person to share every similarity with you is almost a joke and I would imagine that I’d probably be single for a long time to find a girl who loved menstruation as much as I did and who would be actively involved as such. I have made this mistake once to having fallen for a girl because she included me regularly in her period-talks and although the lust was undeniable, I told myself that if I cared for her because she shared so much with me, then the relationship wasn’t going to last. What happens if for some reason, a medical situation caused her to lose her period. What happens when menopause hits, will I then lose my love for her? These questions made me realize that a relationship based upon sharing common fetish simply does not work. Suffice to say, if you’re in a “relationship” simply for sharing sexual pleasures, then absolutely it would work, but if you’re looking for a long-term monogamous relationship, then a common fetish only “adds” to the relationship, but is not a foundation.
Of course I have asked myself time and time again since bebe and I started dating, whether I could accept a girl who is not as emotionally open (at the moment) or a girl who doesn’t seem like to be the touchy-feely and enjoys the same kinkiness as I do. It was important to me at one point to want a girl who appreciated my knowledge and could become an active part of my interests. Nevertheless, as I fell for her, this all went a way – I could accept that she might never be open to my fetish, that she may never participate in it, that she might not even like the fact I’m involved with it and probably very timid and shy. I know all this might change, but for now, I still see her as a girl who might not be the “wacky and wild” type.
I can understand that everyone has sexual needs and that to some, their fetishes might be the core expectation of what they want from a girlfriend/partner. It is indeed important for those in relationships to have a regular and positive sex life, however, I just don’t think I should be basing my ultimate life-long commitment to a girl because she does or doesn’t like menstruation as much as I do. Would I be happy if she did? Absolutely – but it’s not a demand NOR a necessity. I love her for who she is and while you could claim her “interests” would be what makes up who she is – there are some things you can’t live without and some things you can live with – and her choice of whether she wants to be a part of my fetish-life is her decision, the important part is that we have a loving and committed relationship.
We have to all remember there are a lot of times we want things that we may not obtain. As I mentioned before, mishaps happen and perhaps your girlfriend/partner/wife has her period when you first meet her, but then loses it as a result of a medical condition. Surely, one could not use that reason to justify breaking up/divorcing simply because she no longer fulfills your menstrual-fetish needs. It might hurt your libidos a bit, but as I recall, you love a woman for who she is and not because she is capable of menstruating. Even if bebe were to suddenly say that she’s never having her period or not having kids, I would still love her. I know that part of who I am, I have always said I want children and would probably suffocate if I had to be with a girl who went on the pill/shot to prevent her period, but now that I’m with a girl I pour my heart into, all those small things become irrelevant. I don’t need kids or periods to fulfill my life – I need her.
In turn, we can always believe that in a relationship, a couple work together to make things click and to accommodate each others needs. We all have different quirks, we all have different fetishes or things that turn us on. Maybe right now she’s not interested in menstruation – maybe in the future, she’ll see it as a part of our lives and make it such. As couples, you cater to each other as you want to satisfy each others desires and just seeing the smile on their face throws down the emotional/physical barrier that originally affected you. Sometimes things are also subtle when it comes to fulfilling our fetishes, like my ex for instance where one day she whispered in my ears that, “I’m wearing a tampon just for you.” (actually I’m not a big fan of tampons, so it shows how well she doesn’t know me, LOL) and I know that she never has in her life. For her to do that is a sign that she’s willing to do something out-of-the-ordinary for me, thus emotions help us overcome things we would not think possible.
In the end, as much as my fetish is important to me and a part of who I am, choosing a girlfriend or wife would not revolve around the acceptance (as long as it isn’t complete rejection) of my interests. Love is an indescribable thing that sometimes if someone asks, “Why do you love person X?” your answer is simply, “Because I do.” And beyond that, I cannot justify it. Period or not – she is who she is.
Just wanted to drop in to note a funny conversation with my mom today.
My mom just finished listening to a radio broadcast about rogaine which I have been taking to combat my unfortunate hereditary hair-loss (in which I thought about getting a hair transplant if it gets bad enough or I can’t get a decent cut that fits my face-shape).
Aside: Although I’m far from becoming bald, I certainly notice having “less hair” than I used to. Obviously my first approach was to seek my doctor in which he reported there were no abnormalities with my body. Phew! He recommended if I really cared that much about my hair (which I really don’t, but my girlfriend does), then to start on this topical cream. I’ll tell you, it isn’t comfortable either and causes a bunch of reactions like itchy scalp, flaking and signs of dandruff, all quite embarrassing… for the sake of her – bleh, the things us guys do for women, LOL.
Anyways, she came to me very worried, indicating to me that it would affect my ability to “have babies.” My mom is one of those people that will “half listen” to a story and “half not”… and she’ll always pick things out and turn it into a worst-case scenario. She came to me and told me after my year of using it, she wanted to me to stop because she was worried I wouldn’t be able to have kids. She knows that I “plan” to have kids and she warned that if I still wanted them, that I should stop using it. I smacked my face and I told her that using rogaine doesn’t reduce sperm count, it may (MAY – keyword) cause a reduction in sex drive as well as the inability to maintain an erection but does not necessarily cause the “inability to have kids.” My mom grew up in a very old-fashion family where sex was not a common topic and where her exposure to “facts” of about sex may not be very high. For those who do not know, it is actually possible to ejaculate without having an erection. On that note, it also means it is possible for a guy who has erection-issues to still possibly cause conception as long as his sperm-count is not an issue. Although I certainly wouldn’t want myself not to be able to maintain an erection, my mom also needs to clear up the facts as well 😛
Obviously the conversation ended there, but rest assured, I don’t appear to have any problem with my sex-drive. Speaking of which, even if it did reduce it a bit, I really wouldn’t mind, LOL. I’m a 2x-year old guy, do you really think I have a problem with a lack of sex-drive? My greater problem would be having too much versus not enough 😆 From what I recall, this is probably one of the most annoying thing about being a guy! Furthermore, I don’t appear to have a problem maintaining an erection and yes, spontaneous erections are not fun either. Getting a few less of these wouldn’t kill me, nor my to-be-kids…. Anyways, if these side-effects do become apparent one day, stopping it for 2 weeks to a month seems to clear up any sexual dysfunction issues from using rogaine.
Don’t worry mom, you’ll have grandchildren one day….. HAHA 😀 Oh mom… poor mom….