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Absent? No. Just busy!

Hiho Everyone,

Hope people don’t think I’m dead or something… no, I’m still alive. Work has been busy lately and it has been exhausting. My blog is just a fun way for me to relax and to share myself with the world and so I don’t treat it like a job where I feel obligated to update it all the time. I haven’t ran out of period-topics yet, trust me, I have a huge list of it on my “to-talk-about” scratchpad. I still see a great influx of unique visitors every day and I’m happy about it and hope there’ll be more contributions and visitors to come. I want to keep this blog exciting and on-topic of course – although everyone has those busy-times in their life and this is one of them for me!

Over the summer, I get reduced working hours and it tends to be lazy. However, whenever September starts and the school-year rolls in, sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. On the good news about that is this year, my contract for my project manager position has been extended and they’re trying to make it a permanent position (rather than a temporary, where is can be terminated any time past the contract dates). As of September this year, our pay has gone up as a result of negotiated contracts… it’s not much, but in an economy like this and where many other sectors are freezing wages, let alone increase them, I consider myself lucky (or well to even be employed for that matter). As of October 1st, it has been one full year that my “new” job has been effective and I earned yet another jump in the pay-grid. It’s not really a lot of money after taxes and such, probably around an extra $4,000 or so combined.

Suffice to say, this new position comes without the manual labour of being in the field, but is still strenuous on the brain (not that I claim to be smart) and is a lot of politics-balancing game – you want to keep everyone happy while maintaining control. I definitely don’t want to revert to my old position because it’s way too much labour-intensive work and being in the office has its advantages (and disadvantages), along with the money that comes with an upgraded position. Hopefully it’ll go permanent soon so I can feel secure, although I still hold my prior permanent position – much more secure than most private-sector job shifts. I’ve been handling a lot of projects lately and it isn’t just a matter of “lots” but more of “all at the same time” and I swear this is probably what’s going to prevent me from getting Alzheimer’s given how much I have to keep my brain active and trying not to forget stuff. I will admit, even with the aid of my iPhone calendar, written notes and such – I still have managed to pull off some near-misses and forget an appointment/meeting. What I need is a secretary… haha, but that’s only something the manager gets!

All this work has not been without its reward… other than the money. The smiling faces I get to see and the plethora of “thank yous” really brightens up the day. For those who work in any service-related industry, you’ll definitely know that being appreciated is one thing that never ceases to make a bad day good. When I go home each day, as tired as I may be, I feel a sense of accomplishment… something I haven’t felt in a while because most of the work I’ve done during our downtime has been less-than-a-challenge and I’m one of those people who need to “do something grand” to feel as if I’m going somewhere in my life. I won’t lie that money is still an important thing to me, but if I’m going to earn money anyways while doing my job – I would certainly like the recognition, prestige and fulfillment to come with it. I’ll admit any moment that compared to many private-sector workers, we really have it easy here. I remember sitting there and talking to one of the accountants at our organization and she told me that I should really be recommending government jobs to my girlfriend (that’s what they refer to bebe as… oh well, easier on the mouth than referring to her by something else) because she really regrets not going government sooner in her life, wasting many of it out in the private sector. I don’t disagree that private sector is really “where the money is at” most of the time, but I guess it also depends on how far you really want to climb, whether you have the inhibitions to do it and what kind of lifestyle you really want. Government jobs are potentially the greatest “family-friendly” jobs ever – you don’t have to give up your life just to earn your next pay. I’m always on the look-out anyways for bebe, so when she comes back to job-hunt again, I will certainly check with my accounting friends in the government and see what they can scrounge up. Luckily, we have a CRA building right in the city we live in, which may be a great match for bebe’s line-of-work.

What surprized me over the past 2 weeks the most was that my boss has really been polishing me up. The other day I only casually mentioned about wanting one of those new rolling-laptop bags because I “though they were cool” and then the next day when I opened my office door in the morning (my eyes still half closed), I found a $120 rolling laptop bag sitting on my desk. This past Friday, I needed a memory stick to do a transfer of a large project I was working on and he asked me to follow him to the storage cabinet. Other than handing me a memory key which he said I could keep, he also gave me a gift for “all the hard work I’ve put in lately” a 2-TB Network Storage Device. This was a true professional-series file server and I was just thinking about what the hell I’m going to do with it, so I decided this weekend’s project would be to set it up so that every computer in my house (and that’s lots of it) – will backup to this device on a regular basis. For those who have ever had their computer crash and lost data, they’ll know how much having a proper backup means! While I was doing the setup on the device, I decided to hop online to check the price…. the “gift” he gave me is worth $499.99! Well you know what? Even though my job doesn’t pay much comparatively and in an industry where we are not eligible for bonuses or anything (since we don’t generate revenue per se), he definitely knows how to find other ways of giving us bonuses, even if it’s not in a cash-form. I had a second thought is that had I not unpacked it and begun using it, I probably could’ve sold it for $400… but sometimes it’s nice to keep things around that people give you – call it a… sentimental value.

This is an interesting thing I heard on the radio… looked it up and wanted to repost a written article:

SLEEP LESS…AND LIVE LONGER

Story Image

Saturday October 2,2010

By Jo Willey

WOMEN who get between five and six-and-a-half hours sleep a night could live longer, research claims.

Less than five hours a night is probably not enough and eight hours is probably too much, insist experts.

A team, led by Professor Daniel Kripke, revisited his research carried out between 1995 and 1999 at the University of California, San Diego.

That earlier study, part of the Women’s Health Initiative, monitored 459 women aged between 50 and 81 to determine if sleep duration can be linked to mortality.

Of the original participants, 444 were located and evaluated. Eighty-six of those had died. Prof Kripke, whose findings are published in Sleep Medicine journal, said: “Women who slept less than five hours a night or more than 6.5 hours were less likely to be alive at the 14-year follow-up.”

He added that the study should calm fears about people not getting enough sleep.

I have to shamefully admit that I used to question bebe about her sleeping habits… I mean, I know university life is hard and all, but she used to sleep some awkward hours… either working late into the night and then waking up in the afternoon and to me, that was a bit weird. Even when I attend post-secondary, I never had such awkward sleeping patterns, but hey, to each their own. However, what worried me the most wasn’t about the weird patterns she slept, but I was worried about her health by not getting enough good rest. I can say surely that it was a concern for her well-being and health, not because I minded the fact she slept at odd hours. Guess I have to admit now that she is right and I am wrong. According to the article, as long as she gets 5-6 hours of restful sleep, then her body will function great!

But anyways… I feel guilty as of last night. I know in my heart I’m dedicated and loyal to bebe. I don’t know what happened last night, but for once in a long-long-long time.. I had a dream about a girl, but the girl wasn’t bebe. I’m not used to dreaming about any other girl other than her and hell, I don’t even have feelings for the girl who was in the dream, so that’s not an issue about my mind telling me something. Such a weird thing… and yes, I know sometimes dreams are absolutely insignificant but I feel guilty. I don’t like OR want my dreams to contain girls in it other than bebe, because I am 100% hers! I should be thinking about her when I’m eating, at work and even sleeping and of no other girl. I’m of course totally exaggerating this over the case of a single night’s dream, but it definitely felt awkward. I mean a few years ago, I would’ve loved nothing more but have random dreams of beautiful women – but now, it almost seems like I’ve lost the inhibition for all other women. It’s not that I’m turning gay or dislike sweet-talking girls, but it just isn’t the same magnetic and pounding feeling I have on other girls compared to bebe. I can’t understand why I felt so sad over it… It’s almost like I cheated on her or something 😆 even when I haven’t even done anything… 😛 I get way too worked up about this stuff, haha.

Speaking of sleep.. I’m going to sleep night – so nighty night!

P.S just the other day, I noticed that MiM already has 100,000 unique page hits! OMG… and not even a year old – so thanks to all my visitors for making this place a success!

Morning Revelations

This morning I woke up to a stark revelation for some reason. I had a good nights sleep – or well rather I should say, a decent sleep comforted by knowing bebe has all the intentions of returning to Canada after her vacation. Nevertheless, it hurts me greatly that she doesn’t want to have a lunch/dinner with me because she’d feel it’d be too awkward right now. Sigh is right, but as you can tell from reading my blog, my life is pretty shitty. I’m pretty sure some homeless bum on the street probably has a better love-life than I do. Ok so enough emo for a bit, I just wanted to say that I had a spark of life-eurpohria when I woke up today.

As the clock struck 8:30AM and my alarm went off, I rolled awake and all of a sudden I did feel lucky. I woke up this morning, alive. I opened my eyes and I could see (a bit blurry though of my poor vision, lol). I asked my fingers and toes to move and they did without hesitation. I breathed in air and didn’t choke on it. I don’t hear bombs falling next to my house. I feel energized and healthy – what more can I ask for at this time? I got up and looked up my window, a beautiful backyard, squirrels running and birds chirping. Yes, I am unhappy because I won’t see bebe for over half a year and she won’t even let me do a lunch/dinner with her – but still, life seems so grand albiet all the problems. I have something that many people do not, a healthy body, a restful sleep, money in my wallet and food/shelter. I know everyone who has these luxuries wake up everyday and realizes yet, we rarely show appreciation for it, but rather, we bitch and moan at these shortcomings of life.

Over the past few days I have been less-than-happy and my mood has been pretty sour with people. I’ve been doing a lot of gaming just to keep my mind off the situation and all and I’ll probably continue to immerse my life in doing senseless and objective-less things until she comes back. Any time I sit down and my mind is calm, I think about her. I sit at my desk staring at her picture and my mind wanders off into our future of bliss together. I pick up my phone and look at that beautiful smile of hers on my wallpaper, I open my wallet to see her picture thinking that I can one day share my credit cards and bank account with her, and I fall asleep with her picture sitting on my desk as she watches over me while I snooze and dream of her… god, how can a girl be so cruel to me yet I’m totally crazy over her?

I tell myself 6 months is a lot of time, yet really, not a lot of time. On one hand, when I go back to Hong Kong this year, I don’t have to worry about leaving her behind in Canada. I can perhaps have my last year of being single and being able to fool around with girls while I’m there (AHERM, not sexually, just playfully) and sweet-talk them without feeling guilty. She has half a year to think about her future, what she wants and truly desires from life. I have half a year to be a new and better person. If I lose 2 pounds every month, I will be 12lbs lighter by the time she returns. She will return to Canada fresh from her trip, glowing and vibrant just as I saw her for the very first time in her glory. So much can be accomplished in 6 months that I realized I should not waste this opportunity or see it as hell-on-earth, but a chance for rediscovery and yearn.

Instead of wallowing in my own shit, I have decided to enjoy every moment of these 6 months and although she is not next to me, I should cherish life as it is. My mom always tells me, single life is when I should enjoy the freedom and flexibility. I don’t have to worry about obligations with my girlfriend and planning around each others life. I do not see relationships that way, but obviously there is a degree of obligation to each other and naturally so. I remember at one time I used to rush my life, same with my ex’s, I’d look forward to something so much that when we got to that point in time, things were not as I imagined. Likewise, I want to use these 6 months to prove to her, I am the guy she wants – I am the guy who can complete her life. I don’t want to waste away and rush 6 months waiting for her return, but rather, use these 6 months constructively as if they were my last days on earth. I think as we get older, we realize how every minute counts. When we’re young, we’re invincible and time is not against us. As we get older, we realize that the smaller and finer things in life is what truly makes us happy. Money does not make me happy. Bebe makes me happy – money just acts as a way for us to create moments of happiness for us and memories of eating together, doing an activity together or playing games together – but money is not the end-all-be-all.

I’m excited for 6 months from now, but I’m also exciting about my upcoming vacation. Every little thing will help me make my way through the half a year without her, but I think, if I really do get to spend the rest of my life with her, should she not deserve time with her family/friends and since I will have her for years to come? I am a bit greedy ya and a bit selfish, but love is like that – sometimes what you want is undeniable and even when you recognize it as a flaw, it seems so right. So I’m resolved to making the best of these 6 months and not rushing through it just to get to an end-point. The only thing I’m looking forward to is when she falls into my arms and looks up so I can stare down at her dreamy eyes. Haha, I’m such a believer and a hopeless romantic – hai!

Nevertheless, I should probably get back to work after this quick update. I got a request from one of my readers about a topic I should write on, so time for me to start brainstorming on this! Toodles for now.

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