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Good Person Gone Bad – Karma Fails

Intriguing title, no?

On Friday, it was just an ordinary work-day, did a bit here and there, diddly-dallied with some coworkers and then had lunch with one of our temporary employees who was working his last day to return to school. It’s sad to see him go, but hopefully his next work placement, he will be back. Other than his thick Chinese accent when speaking English, he’s a very hard worker and a smart one. My dad and I were the first two Chinese people ever hired within our department. I remember my boss jokingly told me one time that, “If we hired 5 Chinese people, they could replace the entire department at the rate you guys work at!” and I laughed. I used to be just like that, at work early, work hard throughout the entire day and work later than everyone else.

Perhaps a cultural thing, but over 4-5 months of working there, I already adopted the same laziness as everyone else. Everyone thinks this is some conspiracy (jokingly) that they’re beginning to hire more Chinese people because we tend to put in the “extra effort” to get the job done and even the work-term student we got is Chinese. It’s not to say there aren’t people of different background and cultures who work equally, if not more, hard – but the reality is you will find that the general consensus is that we’re so used to pushing ourselves “back at home” that here in Canada, it is actually “above and beyond” what is expected.

Anyways, yes, so we went to eat Japanese Buffet (Sushi) and this is already the second time in the same week. I really didn’t want to because you know, you tend to try to get your monies worth at a buffet, so essentially you’re walking a path of unhealthiness. Suffice to say, we had a great time and the department is back to one Asian person – me 😆 Although I didn’t work directly with him or even talk to him a lot, it feels lonely when you’re the only person “of another culture” at work. You could say I work in a very white-oriented organization.

OK, so enough of that… let’s rewind to Thursday because I have no idea why I jumped ahead. I have a very disorganized brain. Thursday was a severely fucked up day. A few weeks ago I had asked my cousin whether she wanted me to pick up her from the airport and drop her off at her place in Toronto. I miss my cousin because we don’t see each other a lot, even if we’re only a mere 70km away from each other and if you’re not an Ontarian, you need to know 70km is not considered “far”. I thought if I picked her up at the airport, it’d be a nice way to spend a bit of time together before (her) school starts again.

Unfortunately she did not confirm that she wanted to have me pick her up and just the previous night before her return, she told me that she needed a ride. Ack, because on the same evening, I had committed myself to going to a friend’s birthday dinner. The good thing is that it was a guy’s birthday dinner, so it was easier for me to tell him I had to leave after an hour. It was great because we went to the same place I mentioned above, for Japanese food,  but dinner menu also offers my favourite, SASHIMI!! I only had an hour to stuff myself and it’s pretty painful to do that, but I also needed to get out to the airport. It takes an hour for me to get there and as luck would have it, there was a bit of heavy rainfall that slow traffic down a bit. However, I did get there on time and picked her up.

We had a nice chat on the ride back to her place in Toronto downtown. I hate driving in downtown because you have to contend with so much shit. Pedestrians, motorists nor bikers follow the laws of the road, they simply do as they see fit. I love Canada for all the amenities we have and that we protect human rights, but sometimes it’s just too much. I wish we’d adopt a bit of China’s rules when it comes to traffic. For instance, if you step out on the street when you’re not supposed to and someone hits you, you deserve it. The person who hit you should not have to pay you insurance because you violated the law and if you lost a leg – TOO FUCKING BAD. In China, if you get hit while crossing illegally, it’s your own damn fault. We give way too much credit to human rights here that people begin to abuse it. Back on track – so yes, I dislike driving in Toronto downtown because people are not careful and respectful of others needs. However, sometimes driving there is unavoidable. About 9ish, I arrived at my cousins place with her. All I have to say is her place is damn spiffy and times like these, I wish I were born into a rich family. 2 months of rent for her is about a year’s worth of property tax for me. I parked the car at her place because she had a parking spot. We walked over to a quaint little diner across the street and she got a waffle and I had a ice cream float. At first I thought the prices were a bit steep but once I saw the portion-size, my eyes exploded. Still being extremely full from eating a buffet dinner, obviously I could not even put anymore food in my body.

We departed and I began to drive home and here’s where the fucked up part begins. As I’m headed towards the highway exit, the left rear-side of my car gets hit by a fucking bus because the asshole probably didn’t bother checking his blind-spot on a lane change. As we weren’t moving very fast (luckily), the damage was minimal. I think he was very afraid because he pulled back in his lane and waited for me to flag him down to the side to exchange insurance information. I looked at my side mirror to check for visible damage – nothing. I looked in my rear mirror to check for trunk damage – nothing. I know the impact wasn’t very great because I’ve been rear-ended before and it was very similar, just a “tap” and probably traded a bit of paint.

Having something like that happened pissed me off because as I said, I hate driving in Toronto. When you’re a bus driver, you have more than just the life of yourself in your hands – ALL the passenger on it lie in your driving skills and how can you ignore something as basic as checking your blind spot. I thought about stopping since you’re supposed to, but I couldn’t be assed for several reasons. One was because the damage wasn’t severe and two was because I just turned 25 and my insurance went down, the last thing I want to do is to claim $50 of damage and have my premiums go up by a thousand. Screw it I thought – he’s probably shitting himself already and that’s enough vengeance as it stands. Had I not recently had an insurance premium drop as a result of my age, you sure as hell would expect me to make him stop and exchange information! Times like these I also wish we had a bit of United States within us where citizens could carry guns legally. I’d probably get out of my car and shot that bus or put a bullet through the drivers head for such blatant disregard of shitty lane-changing. Toronto downtown streets are tight and people just care about themselves and thus I avoid driving there. I didn’t bother stopping only because it was for the sake of myself – so this guy/girl should really consider him/herself REALLY REALLY lucky. Of course I know by law you should stop either way, but oh well. By the time I got home and got out of the car, it was only a long white streak and some cosmetic damage to the rear bumper.

Rather than telling my mom a bus hit me, I just told her someone bumped into my car in the parking lot at work. It was for the best and although I hate lying to my own mother, she’d be very worried if she found out I was in an accident. Also, people were already asking why my cousin didn’t just take the bus/taxi home instead of having me drive from one city to another to get her and drop her off and then having to go back home. Even my aunt who happened to talk to my mom on the phone in the evening when I was out asked the same question. I suppose you can say I spoil my cousin. A bit of the reason is because when I was younger, I had a massive crush on her, so I cannot deny that I might “do a bit more for her” as opposed to someone else. I’m a guy and I’m a sucker for girls – what can I say? LOL. Suffice to say, if I told my mom I got into an accident in Toronto as a result of going out unnecessarily, she’d probably freak and say, “I told you so!” Why bother? The most freaky thought was that even though this was already a very LUCKY incident that it was not anything huge… I thought to myself that bebe never even let me see her before she went back to Malaysia had that accident been something big and the bus crushed me to death or something. You may think I’m exaggerating, but anyone who’s been in a car accident knows it’s no laughing matter and that anything can happen. I hope when she comes back, she’ll start appreciating how short life is and start to take advantage of it. Things change fast in life, people come and people go – we should be making the best of it and to be a part of each other.

Anyways, you may think at this point what relevance my title has to do with this. The point is that almost daily, my mentality that being a good person has no reward is being proven. I’m not going to say I was some kind of “hero” by helping my cousin get home, even if it was out-of-the-way. I’m not saying I need to have a medal given to me for it, but I do believe it was a generous thing to do. However, getting hit by a bus, on the way home after doing something “good” just makes me fume. It’s not her fault she asked me to pick her up that this happened – it’s the idiot drivers fault. Yet I think to myself, how retarded it is for one to believe that doing good things lead to good fortune. I suppose if doing something good ends up causing my car to get hit by a bus, then perhaps shooting someone in the head will result in me winning the lottery. Am I too much of a nice guy? Does bebe not feel strongly for me as I do for her because I’m too nice? Do girls really like “the bad boys?” I’m nice to her because I love her and I think that’s a very normal thing. Just like I care about my cousin, I’m willing to do something out-of-the-way for her. However, I’m proven time and time again in life that not ONLY does doing good things not result in good karma happening, it results in even WORSE things happening.

To sum it up, here’s a lesson of life:

Do good things ≠ Good things happening to you
Do bad things ≠ Bad things happening to you

Do good things = More likely bad things happening to you
Do bad things = More likely good things happening to you

2 weeks already that bebe’s been in Malaysia… hasn’t bothered saying a word to me and telling me how she’s doing. I’m not only getting frustrated now, I’m getting annoyed. Are these actions even defensible? Can one truly justify treating someone like shit? I can understand a person wanting to hurt another if you’ve done something bad for them – but to do something like that to someone who has shown so much love and affection? I cannot understand, perhaps my brain is too small or I think life is too simple. I’m not asking her to immediately love me back because that will take time – I’m asking to be treated like a self-dignified human being.

You would think that her being so far would make me lose feelings for her, but it hasn’t. My feelings for her are still indescribably strong. I still have passionate dreams about her and it’s hard for me to find perfection in other girls, other than her. I think about her and worry for her. What is she doing? Who is she with? Is she in a safe environment? Is she in good company? Is she healthy and well? Is she happy and relaxed?  – I continue to wish for her well-being because she’s a very important person to me. Her brother will be starting university soon – I am excited and proud of him – just as if he was my own brother. I hope I get to call him brother-in-law one day! I miss bebe and I want to hold her tight right now. Love is supposed to be a strong, wonderful and positively-live changing feeling. Why is it at times that my love for bebe is bringing the worst out in me, frustrating, anger and vengeance, instead of tender, loving care? What kind of person have I become – why is this monster within me coming out? I need to harness my affection of her to feel more positive and vibrant!

The easiest way I can see her now and give her a sweet kiss is in my dreams… and given it is 11:05PM – I may as well go do that right now! ♥

My Weekend Stuffing My Face

Ah, another weekend gone already! Damn, two days is way to short! However, I guess I do have Tuesday off for vacation day (the last of my overtime) and then I we have Thursday off for the upcoming Canada Day!

Past Canada Day Niagara Falls, ON - Fireworks

So I have a pretty engaging weekend, in fact, I must say it actually felt long since there was so much done! On Saturday, my friends and I arranged to meet up at a Canadian-Chinese buffet. Actually to be fair, it is a Canadian-Chinese-Japanese buffet, lol. They had your usual “basic” Chinese food like battered shrimp, wonton, fried chicken, fries, salads,  desserts and etc. They also had a small selection of Japanese sushi, salmon, California and avocado. Obviously it is not a place you’d go to “impress people” but every once in a while the group of us likes to hang out for “Chinese food” at places that our parents would mock us. The price is $6.99 and while you should not expect amazing decor and perfect service, the food quality surpasses the $6.99 expectations. It was a bit of a drive since I had to go out to Mississauga (about 35 minute drive), but I think I go out there more than I hang out in my own city, haha.

After lunch, we went to a mall and shopped around a bit. I’m not much of a “buyer” of things, so I just pretty much tagged along and just chatted while a couple of my other friends bought stuff. We happened upon a store that had these crazy clearances. Could you imagine, $2.50 for a robed-hoodie (not sure if that’s actually what it’s called – that’s what my friends called it, haha). It was so cute and came in grey or blue! I really wanted to buy one for my girlfriend, only to realize I don’t know what she fits in, LOL. Isn’t it sad? haha. I supposed XS and S would’ve done it, but the last thing you ever want to do is the buy a girl the wrong size (especially if it’s too big – ‘cuz then she thinks you’re calling her fat)! I know she’d like it because it’s definitely something she would wear (based on tastes of her clothing that I pick up on 😛 – I’m not totally retarded, haha).

However, I ended up not getting it because I don’t know when she’ll get over the cold shoulders and start talking to me again 😦 It has been a month of unhappiness and partial anger – bleh. I know this time it has only been a month and a bit, compared to 6 months of last time… but still, my temper and patience has limits. I don’t understand why I give her the “best of myself” and my happy-face but she wants to see my anger and vengeance side so much. I thought most people would much rather see someone happy than when they’re a volcano waiting to erupt. I suppose if I could answer every question about what/why people think the way they do, it’ll be the day I can answer the meaning of life.

The Blind Side (2009)

Anyways, we returned to my friend’s house and we all watched a movie. Most of us fell asleep on the first one because we all felt fatigued after a buffet lunch! My friend’s boyfriend had to go to work, so the rest of us watched Blind Side starring Sandra Bullock and Tim McGraw. This was the first time ever that I thought Sandra Bullock was so damn attractive – perhaps enhanced by the role she played in the movie. Watching Sandra Bullock throughout the movie was just ‘wow’! You might think that most of us watched this for “the hot woman” – but hardly, as the movie was actually picked by a girl and there was no revealing clothing or suggestive scenes. I’m not sure whether a movie like this would fall under the category of chick-flick, but I thought it was one of those movies with your typical “I want to cry”-happy endings. None of us fell asleep during this movie because it was great and probably because we were more awake now that we had our little snooze during the previous movie.

One of the girl’s were completely exhausted and then I ended up finding out that she was on her period and she tends to be more tired when that happens. Unfortunately having some previous health issues a few years ago, whenever she has her period and loses blood, she is not as energetic and easily-tired out. She didn’t tell me but I ended up finding out when I went to the washroom, the wastebasket was stacked up high with wrapped up pads and tampon applicators. It had been quite a few days since she got it and she barely had the mood to tackle emptying out the garbage. I offered to empty it out for her and bring it to the garbage chute, but she blushed and said she wouldn’t want me to have to get so close to her “dirty things” – not that I would’ve minded anyways. A few minutes after the 2nd movie ended, her boyfriend came home so we spent a bit of time decided what to do for dinner.

Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side

We all decided we wanted to go to Denny’s, since it was my friend’s fav and after all, we have to spoil her when she’s on her period (lol – I don’t think anyone else knew, just me… but I was enough to “sway the votes” haha). This is my first time trying Denny’s and it was excellent. The last time I saw it was in Niagara Falls and I’ve never had the chance to eat there (since we usually do a picnic or buffet there), so I finally got my chance 😛 Is it bad when I spoil my girls and girlfriend when they’re on their period? LOL… tsk tsk. I really wanted to try the milkshake there, but it was $4.29 (geezz) and it was like 9PM already so I really didn’t want to get too full and kill my daily calorie count (although the lunch buffet probably massacred that already :lol:).

As we were driving home, we couldn’t decide whether to call it a night or not. It was about 10:30 and their hot-tub/sauna/pool closes at 11, so we decided to soak ourselves for half an hour. I didn’t bring my shorts but luckily her boyfriend had one I could borrow and they had plenty of spare towels. We enjoyed our 1/2 hour steaming the fat outta ourselves due to spending a whole day stuffing our faces with food. It was about 11:20 when we got back upstairs (she lives in a Condo). I asked her boyfriend if I could “borrow” his girlfriend for a bit because I really wanted to take a walk outside just to spew about things and my relationship problems to her and listen to her worldly advice. We walked two condos over, which happens to be the same one where I dropped off my girlfriend last time to her friend’s. It was wonderful, I smiled and felt really happy. I remember the night I dropped her off after a beautiful dinner in Mississauga followed by a great weekend for the both of us. She was so cute as I got her luggage from my trunk and gave it to her. I remember the smiles, the warmth, her beauty, her shyness with not knowing how to ‘end the night’ and how happy I felt inside. I cannot wait until I can feel that same happiness again. We talked for a bit and then returned to her place. It was almost midnight but everyone was still up for a few rounds of The Beatles: Rockband, so we played that. We were surprized we managed to get through it without getting a call from security for disturbing the peace. We did try to tone it down of course out of courtesy of other tenants. I did vocals as usual and even attempted expert-mode (which I did successfully :D)!

One of the girl’s just crashed and we all decided it was time to call it a night. We all thanked them for hosting the party (rather casual one) and we all took our ways. I had to go pick up my mom from my aunt’s house, then headed on home. It was just shy of 2AM as I got home and I only spent about 1/2 hour on the computer mopping up from missed Facebooking, Twittering and MSNing as I had a ton of messages I needed to reply to… but, a few of them I left them for the next day since they weren’t urgent. I had no energy left to update MiM, so I apologize to those who received late replies from me 😛

Today I did not do much expect wrap up some paper-work for my business and play games on the computer. I woke up early to talk to Amy on Skype before she had to go to sleep and then my mom dragged me out later in the evening to mow the lawn and do some gardening. I painfully had to chop yet another (miniature) tree down and it totally killed me. We have this really shitty compliment of tools which aren’t “fit to do the job” … a 15 year-old axe that isn’t even sharp anymore. If you were to hit someone with that axe, you’d likely do more blunt damage than slashing damage. So this small little stump and it took me like 20 minutes to break through it. Also, it was low to the ground so I was crouched all that time and causing me to get some massive leg cramps. I thought it was really stupid because my mom sometimes likes just to “waste my time” as the stump didn’t need to be removed. NEED – being the keyword. I should mention that even being clothed in thick material and doused in mosquito-repellant, I still managed to get TWO black-fly bites square on my back and it’s HUGE – I haven’t even scratched it yet! I get annoyed with staying out too long because of mosquitoes, not because I dislike being outside.

Having done all that made me hungry, so as she made dinner, I didn’t have enough time to start a game with my friends yet, so I decided just to sit there and daydream about my girlfriend (lol… shhh…). I equate this to the way that Poh Ching just goes gaga over Taylor Lautner and how impossible it is for a guy to be as perfect as him… and I think how impossible it is for bebe to be so beautiful (inside AND out) that it blows my mind. Sometimes I even let out (MANLY!!!) giggles and yelps when I think of all the cute things she does and how awesome it is that she’s rather shy, LOL. I don’t even know what I want… do I want a shy girl or an outgoing girl? 😆 Men eh, we can’t make up our minds!

So yep… here I am, typing this now. I gotta get back to my TVB drama, so I’ll update here again soon! I’ve been working on getting the media transferred over to my Youtube account so that I can start sharing playlists and favourites on here. It’s hard to integrate it to here because of media restrictions for the “unpaid” version of WordPress, but oh well, I’m sure I can get around it!

Toodles for now, night everyone.

Prexus’ Friday Thoughts

This post has no educational value (nor is it period-related… unless I slip something in there). I just figured after a string of some period-posts, that I’d stick one of my random-thought posts in here.

For the past while, I’ve been playing a game called Just Cause 2. It was extremely addicting and playing for 5-hours was not exactly healthy – although it did kill time on days that I did not have side-work. Oh right, speaking of which, my past two weeks have been nuts. Other than my regular day job, I also do I.T. work on the side and almost every other week-day, I had a client who required my services. Oh yes, I absolutely love making money, but when every night you come home at 8-9PM, it isn’t so “lovely” anymore.. mind you I also worked 8 hours prior to that. So after calculating this month’s “additional income,” I am fairly happy with the results.

Every month, I worry about wanting more business and I don’t see why life can’t space things out for you, lol. I mean, last month was just crappy and all of a sudden the last 2 weeks of May, I’m bombarded. It’s funny, I guess humans can never be satisfied (or maybe just me :lol:).. either we complain about having too little or too much. However, I do have some extra dollars now to line my wallet with, especially because the past while I admit I have been on a spending spree. My girlfriend and I spent a lot of time eating out, which consequently other than probably not being great on my waistline, it also costs money. Rest assured, I am not complaining, I love spending time with her, even if it costs money XD – after all, money is made to be spent! Second, I bought a camera a while ago, for those who follow my blog… then third, I had to get a new computer case and power supply, so it all adds up! Well, I suppose at least I haven’t bought pads for a while, so there has been no expense for that (yet) 😛

So anyways, a few days at work, we had a breast cancer awareness day at work (not the “official” breast cancer awareness day) where workers were asked to wear an article of pink to show their support. I was holding a meeting in the meeting room outside of my office so a few of the attendees arrived and since my office is right there, I sat in my own office to wait.

Since I enjoy conversing a lot, a couple of the staff who I’m particularly closer to invited themselves in just to chit-chat (a guy and a girl). The other guy and I immediately noticed the girl wasn’t wearing anything pink, so we inquired. She replied, “Sure I am, you guys just can’t see it!” and the other guy and I both knew what that meant. This girl is a complete tease though. She plopped herself up on the corner of my desk and since I was sitting down and she was wearing a skirt, the eye-level was perfect. The other guy grinned and sat down next to me, but I totally turned away and looked at my monitor. Mind you, I dislike doing something while someone is talking to me, but I couldn’t very well be looking between her legs at her pink panties because that is EXACTLY what I’d see if I was facing her since I’m ‘lower’ than she is on the desk. Rest assured, if I were single, I’d probably be looking, lol, yes – I am a guy.

The other guy got a kick out of it and I was sure I could see a little drool on the side of his mouth, but I was totally trying to avoid looking ‘there’. Girls probably get a kick out of teasing guys like that 😛 For some reason, I have this obligation to “be a good boy” and not do something that would compromise my loyalty to my girlfriend. After all, I should not be looking at another girl’s … err.. crotch area, EVEN if she completely intended to let us look. The point is girls definitely know how to play our desires against us and I’m pretty sure I would’ve gave it a 2nd.. 3rd.. maybe even 4th look had I not been in a relationship, haha. The thing was the other guy was married and he still had no qualms about looking 😆 – damn it, why must girls do such things?!

This morning, I had a lot of fun talking to one of my authors, Poh Ching, for quite a lengthy period of time.. or well, more than we normally do! It made me really think and take time to cherish the way humans connect with one another. For those who don’t know, I met P.C simply through my blog when I started… she was my first subscriber and consequently, the first commenter on my blog. In the past, we do not spend much time talking because of our opposite time-zones and her field-of-study requires her to concentrate a lot on school. We get sporadic chats if we’re lucky, maybe 10-20 mins every week, yet, we have a fairly unique friendship and connect in ways that doesn’t seem plausible for people who have never met in person and quite literally a random person off the internet.

Nevertheless, we often share things we don’t with anyone else, talk about many personal things and enjoy each-others company. It certainly feels weird to feel so close to someone who we know “little about” – yet in a profound way, know a lot of things. It’s hard to describe the feeling, but it makes me ponder the bonds which tie humans together. There have been times she’s kept me sane at work, like that time I was talking to her over MSN in the middle of a meeting because I was ready to fall asleep, haha. Speaking of which, P.C, I loved the convo today 😀 lololol. Not only do I really enjoy talking to her, she brings a sense of happiness to my day, especially the past few days after she has finished all her exams and truly have time to dedicate herself to an entire conversation! We talked from morning, to afternoon, to even when I got home from work 😀 She made my day with a nice little comment… wish I got to hear this more often 😆 :

Blue text is mine, black text is P.C's

For Victoria Day, my friends and I visited this newly opened restaurant at a nearby city and it was amazing. I’m pretty picky about my food quality, especially when eating Japanese food because when it comes to sushi and sashimi, it must be fresh and sanitary, otherwise, you risk catching food poisoning very easily due to the nature of the ingredients. For those who are unaware, most all-you-can-eat Japanese food places do not offer sashimi for lunch but will for dinner since the cost for dinner meals tend to be a lot more. This restaurant though, offered sashimi at lunch too and oh my god did I ever over-indulge 😛 Let’s just say we had our lunch at 12PM and I didn’t have to eat dinner or anything that entire night, haha. Wow, now I totally crave it… URG!

Oh… right, back to today… if you can’t tell, I’m one of those really messy writers because I have thoughts in random places and time, so things never seem to be in chronological order, hah. This morning I also had a monitor-swivel arm installed! I no longer have to use an old server book I had to boost up my monitor, lol.. and my desk looks much neater with extra space now! Yes yes, I get impressed by small things, hey, why not… since I generally don’t get a lot of “big things” in life that make me happy… unless I also happen to win that lottery ticket our staff pooled together 😛

And finally… today… the game I’ve been waiting for for a while finally became available! I should mention I played about 4 hours of it.. yes, that’s totally bad. However, for those who are interested in games and such, definitely take a look at Alpha Protocol! It is addicting and I really didn’t want to put it down, but I also told myself I have to get back to watching my Hong Kong TVB drama series before I fall behind! I have to conclude this random-ass-post so I can get back to watching it as a distraction for me from playing AP again, haha. Speaking of Hong Kong… I suppose I should start spotting out flights for my end-of-the-year trip back home! From what I hear, the prices are supposed to be nasty. Oh well, it’s a vacation, so who cares about the money! I work damn hard for my money, now it’s time I get to enjoy it before I have to spend it on the wife and kids, lol.

Alpha Protocol screenshot

Night night everyone, thanks for enduring my ramblings 😛

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