Ok so for a while, I haven’t posted much period-related things. I did however, find about a month ago (ya, that’s how long it takes me to recall to post something) a couple of videos I found on Youtube by jdomakeup on some great information for girls and guys on how to use pads and tampons. I thought it was wonderful because there’s some good use of anatomical reference (she used the word vagina instead of some stupid alternative) and gave a good overview on how to effectively apply a pad or insert a tampon. To be honest, there’s not really too many informative videos out there like hers, usually they include girls doing stupid things like slapping pads on their foreheads or giggling while they demonstrate a tampon insertion into a bear.
I can understand that particularly for younger girls, talking about their periods and feminine hygiene isn’t the most comfortable of subjects, but it’s equally bad to see girls doing it and giggling like little schools girls. If you’re going to make an educational video about something, then let it at least be semi-professional. There were some things said in this video that I disagree with, but the video is pretty successful at communicating the basics of pads and tampons. I say disagree instead of wrong, only because it would be one opinion versus another – which everyone is entitled to. The big thing about this which appealed to me, or maybe I shouldn’t say appeal… but rather, impressed with is this is an Asian girl speaking about this. It’s not a matter of me acting as if Asian girls aren’t allowed to talk about their periods, but if you’ve followed my blog, you’ll know that menstruation particular to Asian culture is a extremely taboo thing and suffice to say, it is not spoken of, let alone broadcast on Youtube. I’m too shy to show my face on webcam, otherwise, I’d absolutely love to do something like this on tampons, pads and alterantive products as well! Perhaps one day when I can poke one of my sis’ or girl-friends to be the on-cam face and spokesperson, then I’ll write up a script and provide all the stuff for a demo, haha.
The reason why I singled out this author and her videos out of so many others, is that it’s truly practical information, that your “average girl” or “curious boy” would find of use. While maintaining a decent sense of humour, it doesn’t remove her creditability of the information. When there is too much laughing, you just can’t expect people to take your seriously – yet she is laid back and well composed. Furthermore, she takes care in thinking about the viewers and helping people understand the concept of usage by demonstrating the pad placement and wings usage on an actual pair of panties which gives a visual cue.
What always wins the most points with me is that a woman who’s comfortable with discussing her own body. In the videos, she does go into a bit of detail about when she started her period, how long she’s had it for, some of her opinions and reflections on anecdotal experiences. I think it’s particularly important for viewers to feel the connection to the broadcaster before they can immerse themselves into what he/she says. I definitely don’t want to go into dissecting each portion of the video which I disagree with (hell, there’s probably stuff on my blog that’s incorrect too), because really, this is a superb video with all-the-best-intentions. For guys who have read some of my previous guides on pads and tampons and still don’t understand the concept, the video will really help you out and the light-bulb will flash over your head!
A small portion of the video also goes over pantiliners, although not as in-depth as pads and tampons since those are the foundations of most feminine hygiene products out there. In the video, she uses Always Super Maxi Pads with Flexi Wings, Kotex Lightdays Pantiliner and Playtex Sports Regular Tampon. I actually haven’t seen a Kotex pantiliner in a while, ever since most of my girls either stopped using them or switched to Always. I try to ween most my girls off them because in all reality, I would assume most girls wash their panties anyways, so even if you get some gunk in them, it’ll come out in the wash! Now blood withstanding, a bit of arousal fluid and vaginal discharge won’t even be noticeable after the laundry is done. And even in the worst case scenario, there’d be a very limited number of people who would ever see those panties anyways!
Anyways, I’ll leave everyone with these 3 videos which I encourage you to watch, even if you already know how to use a pad and/or tampon! There’s just something awesome about an Asian girl talking about pads and tampons 😛 WOOT for her!
I’m always a person who strives to be a better person and to engage in self-improvement. God only knows that I have a long way before I achieve it, but every little steps count. As you can tell, every once in a while I’ll blog like mad and other times, I don’t feel the same motivation. In a way, I feel like I let down the theme of my blog whenever I can’t come up with something on-topic. Let’s be real, even if every single day I updated something on my blog about menstruation and did it for the next 10 years, I probably wouldn’t be able to keep up with it, but of course my brain hardly has the capacity to know that much about it. When I overburden my blog with personal posts, I feel as if I’m suffocating my period-related posts – ACK, what a dilemma.
There are times when I think back 20 years ago, when my family and I struggled (compared to today) to keep our bills paid, food on the table and roof over our head. How far we have came since then where we now have a house, car (cars at one point), luxury goods, money for entertainment, etc. yet I’m not quite sure whether our happiness has truly increased. I would dare say that when we didn’t have so much, life’s expectations seemed to be more easily fulfilled and as such, happiness seemed to be found easier. Back then, going to a beach with a ball and a picnic basket full of food seemed to me like as if I won the lottery. Now, it seems like happiness is harder to find because now we expect so-much-more to satisfy those same needs. Likewise, a McDonald’s fries was a luxury meal and now, even when I’m eating abalone (an expensive Asian delicacy), it makes me want something better. While I think it’s very normal to have goals and strive for things, do we not find happiness as easy to achieve as we “progress” in life and social status?
I really can’t remember who I found this off of, I think it was Poh Ching (only because she spams her Facebook wall regularly with stuff that I can’t even keep up), but it really made me think how we can be happy synthetically. This isn’t a matter of smiling and pretending you’re happy when you’re not, but it’s about accepting what we have as the “easier way out” and yet, still feeling happy with our choices in the end. It kind of made me laugh because I think if bebe just sucked it up and stuck it out with me long enough, she could synthetically be happy with me and in the end, be really happy since happiness and satisfaction itself can be fictitiously generated by our brains. It was an interesting thought and obviously a natural goal would be for her to truly, genuinely care for me like I do for her, but in the worst case scenario, synthetic happiness with me wouldn’t be a poor alternative given it develops into emotional and psychological happiness in time. You may be completely perplexed at what the hell i’m talking about, but it’ll make sense once you watch this. She may always think about whether she could’ve ended up with a better guy, but if she settled for me and her psychological immune system kicked in, she may realize I’m not that bad… HAHAHA:
http://www.ted.com Dan Gilbert, author of Stumbling on Happiness, challenges the idea that well be miserable if we dont get what we want. Our “psychological immune system” lets us feel truly happy even when things dont go as planned.
TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world’s leading thinkers and doers are invited to give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes — including speakers such as Jill Bolte Taylor, Sir Ken Robinson, Hans Rosling, Al Gore and Arthur Benjamin. TED stands for Technology, Entertainment, and Design, and TEDTalks cover these topics as well as science, business, politics and the arts. Watch the Top 10 TEDTalks on TED.com, at
Some random thoughts of the week…. Thursday we got a call from that friend I helped to study in Canada telling me that his parents will we leaving back to Hong Kong on Saturday and wanted to have another dinner with us. This time, they chose a Japanese all-you-can-eat place in our city’s downtown. I mean seriously, 4 buffets over a course of two weeks is a bit intense but sigh, can’t really reject when someone’s doing a pre-flight gathering. Of course I went nuts on the Sashimi and also because apparently that girl (refer to this post if you forgot and care) likes the same type of Japanese food as I do, it was awesome that we sat across from each other to split food since a lot of the other people didn’t dare eat the same stuff we did 😀
One thing I must say though, taking a bit of time to freshen yourself up and put on some decent clothes (it’s not about price, it’s about matching your look/style/enhancing assets/reducing flaws), that one can look really good. I remember when I met her the first time a few weeks ago, she wasn’t really that particular, but this time that she wore something that fit her well, she looked a lot better than last time. I think that’s the thing with girls – all it takes is a bit of maintenance (not even requiring make-up), and it really makes a huge difference. I guess it would be like the equivalent of a guy who normally has a clean shave and lets it grow for half a year and then he looks like he’s some bum off the street. She definitely had a nice look this time and there was no make-up on, which is nice because it’s not really necessary for naturally beautiful girls (like bebe :P) to look nice. As usual, I simply appreciate the girl’s beauty, but I’m not in love with her like I am with another special girl – I’m a good boy, see? 😆 One of those go-to-far-feminists will probably say, “We don’t have to look good just on the account of men!”… well true enough – but all I’m saying is that with some at-home maintenance before you go out, girls can look like a totally different person!
Today was nothing particularly exciting, but relaxing. We went out early morning to do the usual pulse-testing and get this weeks herbal. Still trying to tackle the oily scalp issue as that’s definitely the primary cause of my hair shedding. I will have to give it to her that my hair is thicker now at the top, but the receding hairline, sides and back are still a concern. However, I think with MPB, the typical loss is at the top which makes styling very hard when you have a huge gaping hole in your head. With hair on the top, it makes styling much easier as you can do a close shave along the back and sides, leaving only the top and if you have enough hair, it is simply a “style”. Even though I still see hair shedding and some thinning at the front, I’m trying to keep-my-cool and stay positive. I’m also trying to remember that I can be synthetically happy – “Losing hair isn’t that bad, I just have to change my haircut or shave it completely in the worst case!” … but the reality is that bebe has made me really self-conscious of my hair because she loves it so much. I try to generate that psychological immunity to believing it’s ok even if it happens but can’t get over the fact that I will disappoint her in the future. Maybe subconsciously it’s also why I’m trying to push the relationship along, so that she learns to love something concentrate about me, rather than the fuzz on my head. I do admit I love my hair and would save it if I could, but I also won’t die without it… however, I will probably die without bebe in my life because she’s important to me.
Anyways… back to a note of happiness, I was just going through Poh Ching’s blog as usual and found something directed at me!!! =O
Prexus, this post is for you!
You were right about the going out to meet people instead of wallowing in sadness alone at home!
It’s kind of nice to see that I’ve made a positive impact on someone’s life for once!
Normally when I reblog, I try to only do a snippet of it – but this is much too great to not honour the ENTIRE posting…
Couples in crisis often reach the point where they decide they are just two poorly matched people. This precedes the decision to leave the relationship and go in search of that “right person.” Unfortunately, the odds of a successful marriage go down for each attempt at a new marriage. Psychiatrist and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women and The Secrets of Happy Families, Scott Haltzman, MD, says in truth, they are correct; we all married the wrong person. I found his comments from TV interviews so intriguing that I requested an interview with him to delve into the topic.Dr. Haltzman says even if we think we know a person well when we marry them, we are temporarily blinded by our love, which tends to minimize or ignore attributes that would make the relationship complicated or downright difficult. In addition, both individuals bring different expectations to the marriage, and we change individually and as a couple over time. No one gets a guarantee of marrying the right person, says Dr. Haltzman, so you should assume you married the wrong person. That doesn’t mean your marriage can’t be successful, however.
“Most of us spend a lot of time filtering through possible mates in hopes that we will end up with the right match. Some people believe it’s an issue of finding a soul mate … the one true partner. Whether or not you enter into marriage believing your partner is THE one, you certainly believe he or she is A right person for you,” says Dr. Haltzman.
He explains that if the success of a marriage were based on making the right choice, then those who carefully chose a good match would continue to sustain positive feelings the majority of the time, and over a long period. The theory would be proven correct that choosing well leads to success. “But the divorce rate in and of itself stands as a great testament to the fallacy of that theory,” says Dr. Haltzman. Even the couples who remain married don’t describe themselves as completely happy with each other, he adds, but rather committed to one another.
“If we believe we must find the right person to marry, then the course of our marriage becomes a constant test to see if we were correct in that choice,” says Dr. Haltzman, adding that today’s culture does not support standing by our promises. Instead, he says we receive the repeated message, “You deserve the best.” These attitudes contribute to marital dissatisfaction, he says.
Dr. Haltzman shared some research with me about the negative effects in our consumer society of having too many choices—which may lead to increased expectations and lower satisfaction. A book called The Choice Paradox by Barry Schwartz shares research that flies in the face of conventional wisdom. (I will have another post about this topic soon, because there is much insight to glean.) I’ll cut to the chase and reveal that people are happier with the choices they make when there are relatively few choices from which to choose. With too many choices, we can become overburdened and regretful and constantly question our decision. Today, individuals may feel they have many choices of mates, and fear lost opportunities with potential “right” partners. This may happen even after a person is married, as he or she questions the decision to marry with each bump in the road.
“My basic philosophy is we have to start with the premise when we choose our partner that we aren’t choosing with all the knowledge and information about them,” says Dr. Haltzman. “However, outside of the extreme scenarios of domestic violence, chronic substance abuse, or the inability to remain sexually faithful—which are good arguments for marrying the wrong person on a huge scale, and where it is unhealthy or unsafe to remain married—we need to say, ‘This is the person I chose, and I need to find a way to develop a sense of closeness with this person for who he or she really is and not how I fantasize them to be.’”
That choice to work on the relationship can lead to a more profound, meaningful experience together. Dr. Haltzman offers the following tips to help us reconnect or improve our bond:
- Respect your mate for his/her positive qualities, even when they have some important negative ones.
- Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.
- Be a loving person, instead of waiting to get love.
- Be considerate instead of waiting to receive consideration.
To underscore the last couple of points, Dr. Haltzman says many people will put only so much effort into a relationship, then say, “I’ve done enough.” But very few of us will do that with our children. “Instead, we say despite their flaws, we wouldn’t want anyone else; yet, our kids can be much more of a pain in the ass than our spouses.”
Finally, he advises, “Have the attitude that this is the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with, so you must find a way to make it work instead of always looking for the back door.”
via Marriage Gems
I highly encourage you to read the comments of the entry as there are some insights that are real eye-openers…
I think deeply about what I’m trying to accomplish in my relationship life… I really want bebe to love me for the person I am, by showing her who I am… it doesn’t mean I think I’m perfect enough to be EVERYTHING that she wants, but I can say that I’m at least good enough to provide what she needs in a relationship…
I look at what is encouraged of us..
Respect your mate for his/her positive qualities, even when they have some important negative ones.
Absolutely… I will never say that I find absolutely 0 faults in who she is, but I feel she has many more positive qualities than I could even offset with negatives. We’re not perfect beings and I can certainly accept that there are things I may think whether I could tolerate in a life-long commitment, but I believe that with all the things I can love about her, I won’t even consider it being a deal-breaker.
Be the right person, instead of looking for the right person.
This is my goal because I can’t keep simply looking for love and simply change from one girl to another… it’s a matter of showing bebe that I’m the right person, not that just she’s right for me. What REALISTIC things does she desire from a guy and I’ll try to fulfill it.
Be a loving person, instead of waiting to get love.
This I can already do… I haven’t given her and shown her all that I care for her, because I know it’ll be a while before I get the same affection in return. Nevertheless, just because I don’t receive, doesn’t mean I don’t give! The feeling of giving when you truly, deeply, madly (lol, song by Savage Garden…) care and love someone, you feel the need to show them, it’s not something humanly controllable – it simply is. She may wonder that albeit how she treats me why I can endure it, but because it’s an undeniable feeling of wanting to express myself regardless of whether there is gain for me.
Be considerate instead of waiting to receive consideration.
This is a tough one when it comes to relationships because we’ll always want to put our own priorities and mentality first. I need to make improvements on this, because I want and need to be more considerate of her, yet still heeding to my own needs and happiness.
When I read the following excerpt, it almost shocked me to believe that what I feel to be true in our complex society, is not just something in my head and that there are those who professionally and scientifically, believe so…
Dr. Haltzman shared some research with me about the negative effects in our consumer society of having too many choices—which may lead to increased expectations and lower satisfaction. […] I’ll cut to the chase and reveal that people are happier with the choices they make when there are relatively few choices from which to choose. With too many choices, we can become overburdened and regretful and constantly question our decision. Today, individuals may feel they have many choices of mates, and fear lost opportunities with potential “right” partners. This may happen even after a person is married, as he or she questions the decision to marry with each bump in the road.
Thank you Poh Ching for allowing me to read such an amazing article… I always thought that, “I’m the only one who thinks like this…” – but the reality is that our happiness is right under our noses or that we want to believe there’s always something better when in turn, we may already own it. I am not blind to mine and bebe’s flaws… we both have them and to continually question ourselves if we can “always do better” is only sinking us into a whole and that’s why I’ve committed my soul and dedicated my years to come to chasing her until her heart will think of no other!
Life used to be so simple back when our parents were growing up… if you showed a person you loved them enough, they would love you in return – everlasting… now people want to “explore” so much they’ve lost the ability to feel emotions in return. People used to love realistically, now people love superficiality. We need to set our era’s back, because simple love, is the best and one true love.
I coincidentally heard this song in a TVB drama I’m watching today… talk about fucking bad timing. Either way, the lyrics are true… the emotions are true.. and yes, the blindness is true as well. Love can be great or love can suck just as much. Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep and perhaps hope I don’t wake up tomorrow morning. If you think that I’m any less of a man right now for being hurt by love, please feel free to suck my left nut because you’re not good enough for my right.
They asked me how I knew
My true love was true
Oh, I of course replied
Something here inside cannot be denied
They said someday you’ll find
All who love are blind
Oh, when your heart’s on fire
You must realize
Smoke gets in your eyes
So I chaffed them and I gaily laughed
To think they could doubt my love
Yet today my love has flown away
I am without my love
Now laughing friends deride
Tears I can not hide
Oh, so I smile and say
When a lovely flame dies
Smoke gets in your eyes
Smoke gets in your eyes
Can’t think of anything to post today other than this… it’s a really sweet song and does have English subtitles for those who don’t understand Mandarin (not that I claim to understand it well either, har-har). I cried my eyes out the first time I saw this MV … ya ya, pussy – I know. It’s not a new song and many would already consider this a “classic” (but not like Mozart, lol) and many of you from Asian-regions or background have likely already heard (about) it before, but without further ado….
Artist: 王光良 Michael Wong
Title: 童話 Fairytale
Language: Mandarin with Chinese/English Sub
It’s a really touching song. The first time I ever heard this song, I did not see the music video with it and even I felt how sweet it was, the power and commitment of love. After seeing the MV, my definition and ideal of what love is all about was never the same again.
The following translation is slightly different than the one in the video, but conveys the actual Chinese lyrics very well:
I’ve forgotten how long it’s been
Since I last heard you
Tell me your favourite fairytale
I’ve thought for a very long time
I’m starting to get worried
Have I done something wrong again?
You told me with tears in your eyes
That fairytales are all lies
There’s no way I can be your prince charming
Perhaps you don’t understand
Since you said you loved me
The stars in my sky started to twinkle
I’m willing to be
The angel you love in the fairytale
I’ll open my arms wide
And turn them into wings to protect you
You must believe
Believe that we will be like the fairytale
With happy ever after as the ending
Together we’ll write our own ending
I cannot even recall how many times I’ve listened to this song and mulled over the words. They’re so beautiful… it’s very rare and few that music touches me, so it’s amazing when I can find one that I really tune-into. This is one of the few Mandarin songs that I can sing (properly) from listening to it so many times and asking my aunt to help me with words that I couldn’t pronounce properly.
Hope you all enjoy until my next “on topic” posting! If it makes you cry, rest assured, you are not the only one because I’ve spoken to lots of people (guys AND girls) who have shared the same sentiment about this song/video.
The funny part I did notice in the mv (although probably was not intention on the producer’s part… or maybe it was) – was when Michael stares at the girls’ boobs… not once, but TWICE, lol.. very obviously too.. So ham sup (perv) 😆 The girl even catches him looking and he still continues… HAH! I’m sure if I ever stared at my girlfriend’s boobs like that (current or ex), I’d be slapped 😀
Posted for Cherrie
Hi everyone! I need your help! The video below is something my classmates and I did for a class project. We need all the view counts we can get, so help us spread the video to all your friends, friend’s friends, family, family’s friends, extended families… you get the drift.
I’ll be eternally grateful! You can also watch it every day hahaha. xD
It’s our very first time doing a video like this so please support and be nice kay? It’ll only take less than 2 minutes of your time!
Again, a million thanks if you would spread the video to everyone you know!