Men’s Guide to Feminine Hygiene

I think for a guy, the worst thing that could happen other than being told you’ve just been diagnosed with some dreaded disease, is being asked to buy feminine hygiene products. Regardless of which female companion might be asking this of you, your heart beats rapidly, hands begin to sweat and scenes of embarrassment pop up in your mind. Most would think what self-respecting or macho man would do something like this? Well, think about it this way… if you are really self-respecting and a macho man, then you should also be prepared to ensure the needs of your girlfriend’s, sister’s, wife’s, and/or daughter’s needs are satisfied – after all, that IS what a man of the household does. OK, I’m sure some feminists are going to be on my back asking “Why should a man need to take care of a woman?” – but sorry, that’s just the old-fashion, traditional household setting I’ve been raised with. Regardless, there should be no shame for a man to acquire feminine hygiene products whether regularly as part of the household shopping or whether as a “last minute resort.” I must say, women tend to be fairly good with keep their inventory fairly stocked up and do prepare, so it is unfortunate for them that they must ask you to do it. It hurts them, just as much as it hurts you – literally.

So how/where does a guy begin? First, you can choose to understand just the basics, enough to make the purchase and nothing more. Second, you can choose to understand the concepts and details surrounding your purchase. For starters, we’ll just tackle #1 as it is probably the preferred option for most guys, need-to-know-basis, buy it, get out, and give it to your female requester. For those who choose that option, one thing to note is that you want to do this quickly, but lest I remind you that accuracy is also the key. You don’t want to go back for a second run just because you got the wrong one, so exercise due diligence, otherwise, it would be contrary to getting the job done fast.

Option 1 – Buy it, Get Out:

The best idea before heading to your nearest supermarket is to know exactly what you’re getting. If you’re lucky enough to have an old package lying around, it’ll be pretty easy to determine what she’s going to need and remember it. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t rely so much on just knowing the brand and colour… sometimes colours don’t tell all. A few years ago, Always tried to make their pads “male-friendly” with symbols to help make purchases easy, but phased it out quickly. Here’s a few key things you want to walk out the door with. Please note this chart is very GENERAL and the naming convention/classifications may vary brand-by-brand:

Pads

Tampons

– What brand?
– Wings or no wings? (No, they don’t fly)
– What thickness? (Usually “thin” or “maxi”)
– What absorbency or size? (Slender, Regular, Heavy, Overnight)
– Special types? (Such as scented/unscented or ones with wipes)
– What brand?
– Applicator (Plastic/Cardboard) or no applicator?
– What absorbency or size? (Lite, Regular, Super, Super Plus)
– Special types? (Such as compact versions, silk/satin, scented/unscented)

Once you’ve established those key points and perhaps even a photographic memory of the package, you’re almost ready to go! If you’re extra keen, you might want to check with your female companion whether there are any available coupons/specials and then determine where you will be making the purchase. I assure you, pads and tampons are not cheap so you always want to get the best deal! For the extra-shy-guy, you might want to choose a larger supermarket/store that offer “self-checkout”, but for the sake of discussion, let’s assume we will be doing the good ol’ line-up-at-the-counter. While men in general tend not to be very knowledgeable on where the feminine hygiene aisle is located, it is best simply to refer to overhead signs. If you don’t feel like being a browser and feeling gutsy, you could always ask a sales associate. You might want to get a shopping basket if they have one, I think a cart is just a bit weird for a few small items.

Anyways, so here you are, standing in the aisle! Now’s the time to hopefully recall all that information you (should) know! From my experience, most shelves are usually split between pads and tampons, so that will already probably cut your choices by half. I should carefully warn you now that there are SOME stores that also sell (or if you happen down the wrong aisle) male/female incontinence supplies in the same aisle, so be careful you buy items intended for menstruation. Now look for in big letters, the brand that corresponds with your purchase. Now here’s where you might flinch because unless you have really good eyes, might need to close-in a bit and figure out the right type, absorbency and features (features… sounds like buying a T.V!) and then of course, finally decide if this is the one you’re looking for! When you’ve gotten the necessary items (hopefully the correct ones), simply put them in your basket and prepare for your exit.

If you’ve noticed, at no point did I mention the use of any “camouflage” such as buying items that you don’t need to “mask” your real purchase. Unless you actually need it, you are wasting money by doing so. Let’s be honest, I’ve talked to people who’ve worked as cashiers and they know exactly what you’re doing when they see you checking out with 3 huge packages of pads and then a bag of chips. While in the FH aisle, there might also be other people present. Unless otherwise spoken to, there’s no need to engage someone else in conversation because that’s just downright awkward and might cause you to make a scene of yourself. The most I’ve done is just given the girl next to me a smile politely, just to signify I’m not there to stalk her feminine hygiene needs and that’s already enough to make her comfortable. This strategy is similar to that of the cashier. It is a foolish mistake for a man to ever feel the need he needs to justify the purchase he is making. Guys make the mistake of feeling they need to tell the cashier, “I’m buying this for my sister (or fill in whoever)” when they truly do not care. They are there to checkout your items and nothing more. I normally exchange my usual pleasantries as I put the items prominently up on the counter (why bother hiding it?) and hand over any corresponding coupons. Once the items have been rung up, I simply pay for my purchase, have it bagged and leave.

And you’re off! Isn’t it relieving to be done this endeavour? Not only that, but I’m sure your female companion will be extremely grateful for your help! Part of the secret is to purchase feminine hygiene products just as you would of other items. Never in my years of buying these products have I once been questioned about them, in fact, it is likely they’d be more embarrassed to ask (or even risk being disciplined, it is no business of the cashier what your purchases are for from the standpoint of customer service). For those who are doing this for your girlfriend or wife, you are winning big points (probably)! I’ve had girlfriends who’ve made it a point to mention they feel very special when I involve myself with their menstrual needs, as small as knowing what they normally use or even buying it for them when I need to or happen to be in-stores. This might not be case for every female as some still feel it is “their own business” and prefer you not poke your nose in it, but I think most will say it is a very sweet act.

So there you have it guys, a little guide and things for you to consider when purchasing feminine hygiene products! I’ll tackle option #2 at a later time. Of course… here’s the fun part… many of you guys might be “You’ve probably never done this yourself” or “You wouldn’t have the guts”… so here you go… by the way, coupons rock, you can get these products for cheaper than you can buy milk… TWO packs! Look at the date, it is today =) :

My Proof of Purchase - Your Proof of Reality

Advertisements

About Prexus Swyftwynd

Probably not a good idea for you to know anything about me....

Posted on January 2, 2010, in Periodtastic and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 23 Comments.

  1. Hi there, thanks for dropping by my blog =) I’m considering linking you 😉

  2. Consider away 😀

    Your blog is addicting to read… my eyes are going blurry XD

    • Addicting?? really?? XD My friends say it is too WORDY -____-”
      BTW, I’ve linked ya! ;P

      • A couple of posts I read were lloongg, some parts I didn’t understand since I guess it was written partially in Malay (?), but oh well, lol. Other parts looked like it was your equivalent of what I use “Chinglish” wish is mashed up Chinese and English, haha.

        I’m one of those people who “have a lot on my mind” and “talk a lot” so I wouldn’t consider your blog wordy. I have written an 8-page love letter before, a 2 page blog is nothing, LOL. If only you could see my MSN logs, then you would know how much I really talk, hahaha.

        Speaking of the way you type, the girl I’m seeing (or was seeing? lol) lived in Malaysia and moved here, and you two type very similarly it is almost freaky. Before reading your post, I couldn’t understand why she typed the way she did… now I realize it is just the cultural style, lol. Reading what you type is like reading what she types and it makes me edgey, haha… sometimes my mind forgets who I’m talking to XD I’m sure I’ll make an ass of myself in due time ^___^

        • Yeah, it’s in Malay =P My Chinese isn’t that hot though, I’m an American Born Chinese born in Malaysia =P My early posts used to be in pure English but I think for some readers it’s kinda dull as it doesn’t seem to have “life” in it, so I added some “locality” to add some spice to it har har. I guess it helps because the readership numbers has gone up! ;P

          Well at least double digits a day is alrite, better than single digits =P

        • Woh, that’s cool… that’s weird you’d go back to Malaysia. The only reason why I say that is because people tend to want to go “west”… Most people who leave home want to be in North America – I suppose because of the supposed better standard of living and stuff like that. I agree with adding life to posts, every once in a while I’ll drop a sentence or phrase in Chinese, especially when sometimes English can’t express what I want to say.

          I find it very cute when I see Asian girls adding those Asian suffixes and stuff (like la, leh, jeh, etc.) but when I see an Asian guy add that, it annoys the crap out of me XD maybe I just like girls too much that everything they do is “ok”.. I’m a man of double-standards, lol. I try to avoid doing that when I talk to my friends, but every once in a while someone from HK will comment on my status or something on FB and I feel the need to reply in a “similar fashion”… haha.

          I have to start optimizing this page so I can get more readers.. I really like the topics I write about (small ego maybe? LOL) and I think it can truly touch the lives of many readers… I put a lot of effort into it and I’d hate to see it go to waste 😛 Spread the words to your friends about it, ‘cuz I’ve been talking about your blog to my friends too… however, some don’t have the patience I do to read through yours… (Pat Pat) =D You should learn Chinese… I swear I said that to you somewhere already, haha.

          You totally got + points for when you were describing your mom talking to you… love the accents you place in the conversation!! w00t.

  3. A very good guide, I will refer to it if I ever need to buy! Hopefully more boys will take time to understand like you.

  4. So I have been reading your blog at 3:43 AM. It has this incredibly small font size and my eyes have been literally straining to read it. Not complaining though. Your blog is fascinating. I mostly bump into blogs of the “mummy” type, none of whom so far are Asian. So imagine my delight when you dropped a comment in my blog. 🙂
    Sadly, I have to cut short my backreading to be able to squeeze in a few hours of zzz’s before another No Rice journey starts again later today.

    • LOL, probably not a good time to be reading my blog XD Try to catch some Zzz’s first and then re-read it 😛 I actually understand what you meant about the blog theme having way too small text! I really wanted to use a different theme, but only this one seems to format tables properly… the other ones all flow (lol, pardon the pun) off the screen and messes up my post! I will try tonight to fix the font issue. If it makes you feel better, you can consider my blog a ‘mummy’ type because I bitch and complain like one 😀 – haha.

      It is not the first time someone said they were ‘delighted’ to see a comment from me…. I guess I’m one of the few guys that comment on girl’s blogs (maybe that makes me weird… HAH) – but there was one time a girl replied to me, “WOW, a guy posted here!!!” and I’m like… “err.. ok, guess you don’t get many guy-visitors” lol.. it isn’t like I’m Brad Pitt or something XD

      Read me reply to your no-rice thingie, some things you might want to consider 🙂 Definitely do some back-reading when you have time because nothing seems to make sense on my blog unless you read from start to end.. otherwise, it just makes me look like a pervert 😀

  5. Can I simply say what a relief to find somebody who actually is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You undoubtedly know learn how to deliver a difficulty to gentle and make it important. Extra people need to read this and perceive this facet of the story. I cant consider youre no more standard since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  6. Normally I do not learn post on blogs, however I wish to say
    that this write-up very compelled me to check out and do
    it! Your writing taste has been surprised me.
    Thank you, very great post.

  7. Thank you for another informative site. Where else may I
    get that type of information written in such an ideal manner?
    I’ve a venture that I am just now running on, and I’ve been at the look out for such info.

  8. What a material of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how on the topic of unexpected emotions.

  9. I needed to thank you for this fantastic read!
    ! I absolutely loved every little bit of it.
    I have got you book marked to look at new things you post…

  10. Normally, just asking what type of product, brand, & size were enough for me, when I would buy these things for my daughter or wife. My wife is now in menopause, & my daughter has moved out.

  11. Pretty great post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I’ve truly loved surfing around your weblog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I am hoping you write again soon!

  12. This is very attention-grabbing, You are a very skilled blogger.
    I have joined your feed and sit up for searching for extra of your wonderful post.
    Additionally, I’ve shared your web site in my social networks

  13. Thanks designed for sharing such a fastidious thought, piece of writing is pleasant,
    thats why i have read it entirely

  14. Hi! I just wish to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent info you have
    right here on this post. I am coming back to your blog
    for more soon.

  15. This site was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something
    that helped me. Many thanks!

  16. This made me laugh. I’ve heard of men like this but never encountered any. My husband at Costco yells down the aisle, “Which pads do you want? Heavy flow or overnight?” The whole aisle gets quiet as everyone is waiting for my reply. He could have just texted me. My very Asian father lectured me about TSS and tampons when I was 17.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: