Monthly Archives: July 2011
Opening Up About Menstrual Interests
Having been almost a year and a half since I started this blog, I’ve received lots of comments both on-site and as well as through IM and email. People often ask, how is it that I can be so open about a topic that is not native to my biological gender? Easy, it is an interest! With that said, the topic itself should not be embarrassing or shameful to tackle, as menstruation and is wonderful and mystical element of the female body. Women may not bond over the fact they share breasts, a vagina or long hair – but, many sisterhoods are formed over a common ground, their periods and naturally bleeding body. Suffice to say, one of my god-sis’ best friend was actually formed inside the women’s bathroom in high school. How could that happen? Simple, she lent one of her tampons to someone she didn’t know who was begging for one. After 7 years, they still remain close friends, despite facing the trials of life, finishing post-secondary, getting a job and working on starting their “adult” life – all through the small act of lending out a tampon. While this may be a rare circumstance to have such a friendship formed, it is but a simple example of the bond formed through an act of kindness over the pains and unfortunate appearance of menstrual flow.
Regularly speaking to my female friends and some male community members over the fascination of menstruation, I have come to realize that particularly for guys, opening up to fellow friends or a female partner is a daunting situation. Particularly in the case of a female partner, whether a girlfriend or wife, I think it’s necessary that two people are able to speak keenly about their own interests, both personality-wise and sexually. After all, if two people are in it for the long-run, why should they not know everything about their other half? Being able to share things openly with each other is an essential part of a functional relationship. Every girl I’ve been with in a romantic relationship knows about my menstrual interests, because I think it should be fair I can share it with them and fair that they need to be aware of it. There needs to be acceptance both ways, the fact that I fee lcomfortable enough to share such intimate details with them and also that they can accept my interest. Accepting in my mind, does not necessarily mean participating in my interest, but simply allowing me to “do my own thing” so to speak. Also, because this interest, generally speaking, is not something of destructive nature I believe wholeheartedly that it should not be something to cause alarm. For instance, if I were to start using illegal drugs, it would definitely be in any girlfriend or wife’s place to say STOP IT, but she should have no right to TELL me to stop. Suffice to say, if bebe asked me today to give up my interest in menstruation, I probably could because of my love and devotion to her that I would be willing to make such a sacrifice. With that said, it doesn’t mean any male or female should have the right to demand that the other person suppress their right to have a menstrual interest, despite whether they want to “take part” in it.
How did I approach the girl’s I’ve been with about my menstrual interests? Well, I would not be able to answer that in any concrete way, because just like any individual, each girl had a differently personality type, predisposed openness to menstruation and comfort level with their own body. I definitely found the girls who had the most comfort with their own body and open-minded personality that they adapted easily to my interest, including ones who even LOVED my passion with menstruation. Each girl is different so I can say for sure that the way I introduced my interests to Girl #1 is definitely differently compared to Girl #2. As I’ve mentioned before, I never had any girls in my life (who I shared a romantic relationship with that is) who did not at bare minimum accept my love for menstruation. Even bebe with her semi-frigidness seems willing to accept my interest in it and try to share herself with me when it came to such discussions. While she is far from being as enthusiastic as my ex over it, her efforts to do so make it extra heartwarming. Sharing such an interest comes with great danger, because it may very well make or break a relationship – or even – friendship. Remember that even in such an “advanced” and “modern” society, many people still ‘have a problem’ when it comes to the subject of menstruation.
Yes, I agree that menstruation, especially one’s OWN menstrual cycle is a personal detail, many people take it beyond the fact that it’s just “personal” – but the fact they themselves resent it or feel disgusted by it. I have no problem with a girl feeling exposed or that she rather keep her menstrual details to herself, but those who feel that their menstrual cycle is shameful is where the ‘problem’ occurs. Just like our sex-lives, some like to share, some do not, but one should not shelter information about periods for the wrong reasons. With each of the girls I’ve had a relationship with, I took many different approaches and anecdotes, with some I could literally blurt out, “Oh by the way, I love periods” and other ones, where I had to play little games of injecting hints over a period (heh) of time.
One thing is for sure, before any one considers telling their partner or someone about their own interests in menstruation, you really have to “feel out” the other person. What kind of person are they, do they seem receptive of such information? What do you have to gain from them knowing, but also, what costs are involved should it fail? The best way is usually to try to engage them in “period talk” of sorts by somehow directing a conversation towards that subject. If the person veers the conversation away, it may mean they’re very sensitive towards that topic, in that case, I would be very cautious about expressing open interest. Likewise, if they engage in that subject and also seem passionate about it, you may have a green light. These are NOT set-in-stone rules, because while a girl might be open about menstruation or even her own menstrual information, she may not always be accepting of you being interested in menstruation. I remember one conversation with a girl I had who would participate strongly in any conversation about menstruation, including divulging many of her own experiences and intimate details of her, but when I ‘tested the waters’ on how she would react to know that a male was interested in periods, she furrowed her eyebrows. Therefore, one must be cautious about indications of openness to menstruation, in alignment with the whether it shows true openness (to all genders) or whether the openness is present under the consideration that it is a “female-only topic”.
While I would love to share my interest of menstruation, there are some girls who are simply object to men knowing anything about periods, let alone be interested in them. It’s up to you to decide whether it is worthwhile to consider pursuing the chance to open the topic or whether it is best to never touch upon it again. Furthermore, you have to ask yourself, if this is a woman who you are interested in, would you be able to go the rest of your life without expressing your interests or perhaps, even suppressing them? Of course I am not saying just because the girl doesn’t share the same love or acceptance to menstruation doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be with her, but you just have to consider the long-term impact and your own willpower. After all, there are several members even of Kayo’s community who has admitted that for years they have sheltered their own fetish and interest in menstruation in fears of that it would affect their romantic partners. Opening up to your partner about your love for menstruation is hard, particularly if every aspect of the relationship is “right” that you don’t want to risk the loss of such relationship over your own passion.
While I do not restrict the knowledge of my love of menstruation to girls I date, I definitely keep it close-knowledge because girls that I’ve known for a long-time and built a solid relationship with, or girls like my god-sis’. Also, with each girl, you can get an idea of their comfort level to the degree of which they are willing to share about menstruation, whether in general or about their own bodies. I suppose I’ve achieved comfort in a lot of these girls because they share the most intimate details about their periods with me and sometimes when we’re out, they won’t even say something like, “I need to use the washroom” – they’ll be like, “Hey, I gotta go change my pad!” and that’s just totally cool with me 😛 I have to say though, when it comes to girls I’ve dated or am dating, I also “restrict” the amount of information I share with them based on what I perceive to be their comfort level. Even with bebe, as much as I love her and want to be with her for the rest of my life, there are still some reservations that I make when it comes to my interest in periods with her. Timing and comfort-over-time is a very large factor when it comes to how little/how much you reveal and with proper timing.
Writing this entry, I’m hardly saying I’ve “perfected the art of revealing my menstrual interests” – but with a handful of relationships and 2 serious ones under the belt, I can say I’ve had at least ‘experience’ with displaying my interests of menstrual within the scope of a relationship. Having girls who appreciate my passion in menstruation is a really wonderful feeling and for the guys who share similarities like this with me, I can definitely tell you it is a liberating feeling being able to tell trusted friends and the special person in your life about your own passion. While such interests differs from hobbies like playing basketball, interest in menstruation can still be a respectful interest and with much to learn about. Remember that loving menstruation isn’t just about benefiting yourself, but also about the benefit of others. With knowledge about menstruation, one can better themselves by knowing that when a girl is angry, it isn’t a matter of her (not always at least) PMS’ing or that she’s “on the rag” and knowing the realities and separating the myths of what menstruation is about. It’s about using your love and education in menstruation, that you may be able to help girl-friends, girlfriend and/or wife to cope with her changing needs over the years. With your love of menstruation, you should help your fellow females feel comfortable with menstruation in generality and personally. It is your love of menstruation that in the most painful times of need, that you are there to support your friends and lover and to help them overcome obstacles in their periods and throughout the rest of their lives.
Remember that knowledge of menstruation comes with great responsibilities in knowing that what other women may confide in you when it comes to their period, they may not want to share with the whole world. I am lucky to say, many of the girls who I associate with and who share many details about their own experiences and regular monthly habits, that they openly share with me and feel ok that I share it with the world at-large. Of course since I rarely define names in my posts, I still hold the information which they provide me with in highest regards and if a girl is open enough to share these details with you, that you return the favour of their secrecy. I always welcome passer-byers and regular visitors alike to share their own stories, comments or feedback with me, on the blog or by other methods of contact. I hope you enjoy reading this blog, as much as I love writing it!
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
Well as I was reading through my morning feeds, I could not help but snicker at this “FML”…
I took a picture of it in case it gets removed or something, but here’s the transcription of it:
Today, I sneezed so violently that my tampon came out. FML
That must’ve been quite a sneeze or someone didn’t put their tampon in properly (which apparently, is not that unheard of).. Maybe I’m spending too much time thinking about this, but if this was while she was clothed (or at least had underwear on), I can’t imagine the tampon being able to go too far as it’d be constricted by a piece of undergarment (I guess the assumption is that she was wearing them). Otherwise, if this was over the toilet or something, it’d be pretty cool to be able to eject the tampon out without having to pull it – quite some talent I’ll say!
Cheers to strong vaginal muscles!
Link to the actual posting here, some of the comments are amusing.
What Makes This Site Worth It
I have a habit of checking my emails every morning, just to see if I need to “expect” anything during the day. Since I have all 5 of my email accounts hooked up to my iPhone, they all get pulled onto my phone once I switch it on. As I’m sitting there to “do my business” for the day, I saw 2 emails pop up in my MiM mailbox. One of them was particularly touching and really, emails like these are really what make running MiM worthwhile. Besides being an output for my menstrual interest and public discussions, I really enjoy hearing feedback from readers about their experiences with MiM. Certainly, not every experience or readers think that MiM is a great thing. Despite my efforts to bring menstruation out in the light of beauty, many, men and women alike, still find menstruation an abhorrent subject to be talking about, let alone from a heterosexual male. The email I got simply wasn’t a “I like your site” – but it was an expression of personal rapport, which is a very rare thing to receive over the internet. I felt deeply touched reading through the email and though I still have to reply to it, I decided to write this entry because I haven’t done one in so long. Rest assured, MiM is not going to become a past-legacy, I am still devoted into maintaining this blog and keeping it up-to-date as time permits. After all, the blog is secondary to my life and certainly friends and family alike are more important.
Recently, I was also featured on a pro-menstruation site, it was very exciting. I’m actually trying to sign up for Tumblr right now just so I can follow them, but apparently the workplace firewall is not a big fan of Tumblr and keeps blocking it. I suppose I will just have to wait until I go home. And yes, while working in the I.T. department I can probably break through it, but let’s just be on the safe side 😛 For those who are menstrual enthusiasts, I recommend you check out the following site: http://itsjustaperiod.tumblr.com/ — furthermore, the site is all about being inclusive of all lifestyles, which I felt grateful for. After all, there’s nothing more frowned upon it would seem, than a man writing about menstruation. Nevertheless, rather than being ridiculed over my interests, I was happy to see on their site that they gave the thumbs up to several of my posts, yay! I’ve of course added them to my links navigation because it’s a site really worth checking out!
I missed my bebe’s most recent period, that made me sad… but I did however, give her a few of the pads that I purchased in my most recent posting of Stayfree products that I purchased, hopefully she has found them comfortable and provides her with a sense of security! I’m rather pleased to hear that quite a few of my girls have really gotten great results using Stayfree pads, which makes me smile because feeling secure and safe with a product-of-choice makes those period days feel easier to get by, no one wants protection which scares them whether it will stand up to the flow!
One last site I wanted to make big mentions of is Kayo’s Flow Forum @ http://www.dotcomjunkies.com/members/kayo/forum/ — Even though they’ve been listed in my links navigation for ages, I thought they deserve some EXTRA credit because of how long they have been around for, what the site stands for and the history behind it. I’ll have to admit, before I even became of legal age, I had already been visiting Bianca’s (a pro-menstruation community) and when the site became overloaded with spammers, Kayo’s Flow Forum came to rise. I have been a member of Kayo’s for ages, again, even before I turned 18 (shhhhh….). Because the menstrual community is quite small in comparison to the vast world of the internet, it’s often hard for those with similar interests to find a place they can freely share information and their own personal thoughts. As such, there may be many out there interested in menstruation who don’t even know that this site exists. I should however mention that Kayo’s Flow Forum does have adult content and may or may not agree with your own interest in menstruation. The board itself welcomes (to everyone of legal age) everyone from the curious, the learner, menstruators, the interested or even the true hardcore fetishists. I’m not quite sure where I fall on that line, lol, but that’s irrelevant as the board is a fantastic place for you to meet people who are genuinely “into” menstruation. There, you will rarely find those who are object menstruation (that is unless we get a troll in or something) and while individuals interests vary, the board is oppression-free. There casual discussions over menstruation as well as those that are visually intensive. If you are the type of person who is easily offended, then I’d recommend you stick to the posts and not follow any of the links within the content. Also, we do have several female members who make huge contributions just with their presence alone as it helps align the male views of menstruation. If you feel comfortable with menstruation, as a male or female, we extend our open arms to you to join the community. You may or may not find what you want at Kayo’s, but it’s a great experience and will help expand your horizon over the interest of menstruation that you would never thought once existed!
A real person, a lot like you
A nice little Youtube video that I saw on my Facebook news feed. This video didn’t touch me particularly because of what happens on MiM, because MiM is but only a small part of my life in terms of how much time I commit to it and such. However, something like this speaks to every aspect of human living.
For the most part, I say that a lot of people appreciate MiM and my positive/pro-menstruation attitude. Some people even share the same “interest” that I have in periods and female health. I do not ask that people share the same degree of interest or love in menstruation, however, we should certainly be open-minded to others because we are after all, individuals. However, not everyone who have visited this site has had nice things to say about it. Though I do not scream and rebuttal statements they have made towards me, it still hurts to know that someone feels the need to say these things. Shame on them, especially those who own period-sites themselves and have come here and complain about it. Though you may not share the exact love of periods as I do, YOU run your own period site, what right do you have to mock my interest in it? Shame… oh the shame for these people.
Stayfree Ultra-Thins with Thermocontrol Has Arrived In Canada!
You may have seen an entry I made a while ago, regarding that Stayfree Thermocontrol Pads may be arriving in Canada soon! It was just suspicion then or rather, not a clear indication that other than the overnight version of the ultra-thins would be switched, but now it’s becoming quite apparent that they’re squeezing their way into Canadian markets. Of course, the Canadian Stayfree site still does not show any representation of these new pads, but with that said, I’ve only noticed 2 of the many stores that I visit on a regular basis that has even begun stocking the new Thermocontrol pads. This may either be due to old stock that hasn’t been depleted yet, or, the store is not willing/does not offer the newer pads yet. Regardless, if you’re interested in seeing what potential differences of pads may be offered at some point locally, you can always visit the American Stayfree site, which shows the full line of Thermocontrol pads, ultra-thins and regular maxi sizes.
While the pads themselves have not changed in terms of the general look, rest assured the pad feels a lot cooler when worn and even when saturated, keeping the feeling of almost a “crisp wind” near your skin. This may be almost a very foreign feeling for some and rather unnatural due to it feeling cold despite it being between warm body parts and with menstrual flow upon it. One thing that is new to the ultra-thin line in Canada is that they’re also offering the super absorbency in an ultra-thin form, previously only available to the maxi series. What was weird though when I went to pick these up at Walmart is I noticed two things:
1) Only the ultra-thin pads were available with the Thermocontrol technology
2) The ultra-thin pads with Thermocontrol were only offered in the “bonus” packs, there were no ‘regular sized’ packages
In these pictures, I have a ruler stretched across the lengths and widths so that you can see the differences of sizing between the SUPER and OVERNIGHT ultra-thins. Rest assured, I am cautious of not exposing pads to germs, bacteria and humidity and thus, these pads that the ruler “contaminated” were not reused for testing purposes by any of my girls. I take sanitary conditions seriously, particularly when any exposure to these elements may affect the vaginal health of my girls and I certainly would not want that to happen! One thing that is hard to notice in the picture (I tried to use a different surface for the picture-taking, but didn’t work out so well) is that the wrappers have slight differences. The super version of the pad came in a white-coloured wrapper, while the overnight version of the pad actually came with a wrapper that is a very light lavender. The wrapper material has stayed mostly the same.
Since the qualities of the Stayfree pads are very similar, both maxis and ultra-thins (other than the obvious difference in size/thickness), I’ll leave you to read my previous review on the Stayfree pads “in general” and simply refer you to the changes that the Thermocontrol technology has brought as noted in the content of this entry.
Both of these packages were 5.97 each, which were on sale in “last sale week” at Walmart. I had a coupon that bebe gave me (since I had it sent to her house, hehe) that was expiring next week, so I really wanted to use it before it went to waste! Also, I’m excited about Stayfree Thermocontrol arriving in Canada not only for my girls and I, but for bebe, because this technology in the Stayfree products were already available to her back at home. To come to Canada where you can’t buy the same product sucks, so now that Thermocontrol pads have arrived, it’ll make her monthly period that much better. Speaking of which, it seems like I will be missing her period this month 😦 I am sad, but I will definitely continue doing my usual of getting her flowers each month to remind her how special she is to me and how much I care for her and want to be there for her 😛 The cashier rang my items through properly this time, only charging the GST (5%) portion of the HST implementation in Ontario for feminine hygiene products. The total came to $7.54 after the coupon and taxes, for 44 Stayfree Super Ultra-Thins w/ Thermocontrol and 40 Stayfree Overnight Ultra-Thins w/ Thermocontrol pads. These pads all together were only 8.97 cents each!! Looks like these pads will definitely keep many of my girls stocked-up for a while, especially when a few of them took-on this sale with me!
Haven’t tried Stayfree before or haven’t tried the Thermocontrol ones yet? You should now, because they’re more comfortable than even before! (Yes, 2 pictures came out horribly, alas…)
The New “You ARE Loved” Site and Brochure!
A month ago, I made a post about Toxic Shock Syndrome and a site called “You ARE Loved” who promote education about TSS. They had a nice little site before, but recently, they have redesigned their entire site with a slick and intuitive layout. They also acquired a domain name so I would like to take the opportunity to provide a link to their new site:
The site is dedicated to the blog owner’s daughter, Amy Rae Elifritz, who last year passed away from TSS.
The authors and contributors of the site also put a lot of work into a TSS brochure they have made and over a twitter discussion, I was happy that they would allow me to share this great piece of work, in hopes that if even all our efforts would help save just one potential TSS death that it will be worth it. Whether it is your friend, sister, daughter or even mother, your knowledge about TSS may very well be that separation between life and death for them.
Please take time to read and pass on the brochure here:
http://you-are-loved.org/files/2011/06/YAL-TSS-Brochure.pdf
I’ve just added You ARE Loved to my blog’s link and if you’re a blog-owner yourself, you should too!
Poh Ching
MEN in Menstruation 