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Fulfilling Sexual Needs “On The Rag”

Believe it or not, there are women who still have (or even heightened) sexual needs during their period. I’m a firm believer that as long as you’re in the “mood” for sexual release, your period should not stand in the way. As I’ve mentioned many times, for women who suffer with cramps, orgasms have been a known form of cramp alleviation. Due to the nature of the contractions of vaginal muscles during orgasm, it helps loosen things up and sets off circulation of “happy hormones” which have a long-lasting effect. With my ex, after an orgasm, her cramps would go away for hours before they bothered her again. For many of my non-menstrual community members, many of you may be set off about pleasuring your female partner during her period. There are many non-penetrative or alternative methods to get her off, with some methods, not even requiring you to “get dirty” so to speak. It’s kind of unfair to love her vagina every day of the month other than her period days. You should love it just as much, if not even more, when she’s menstruating!

One of the things I’m told by menstruating women is that most of time, they have no mood to even be thinking about orgasming. Of course, these are all personal choices. However, for those who do have the mood, one of the spoiling factors may be the thought of making a mess. Sex/masturbation on your period won’t exactly cause your period to stop (seems like most people think water-pressure stops your period in the pool), but it’s a great way to treat your body right! I’m sure for many of us who are reading this, we know the wonders of an orgasm, so why not during your period too? Contractions during orgasm also forces menstrual flow from your cervix to come out quicker. Although I hear that it “makes periods shorter” I think I would rather safely say that it helps clean the uterus better but not necessarily whether it would make one’s period shorter. Some women even experience better and stronger orgasms during their period, so who wouldn’t want that?!

Here are some thoughts about “taking care of things yourself” which other women have shared with me that may be of interest:

  • Masturbate in the shower with whatever preferred method, there’s no mess to clean up as it goes all down the drain.
  • Masturbate through your pad/panties for clitoral stimulation – whether by hand or using a toy – the pad will absorb both your flow and vaginal secretions. When you’re done, you can just wrap and toss!
  • If you use sex toys, it can keep your hands clean, but menstrual flow may still end up going down your leg or on the sheets. Make sure you clean your toy thoroughly after use!
  • If you masturbate on a bed or like object, you can use new/old towels, bed spread or anything that will absorb any vaginal or menstrual flow from your “good” sheets/covers.
  • You can masturbate with a tampon in as long as you are not using other objects to penetrate your vagina as that may cause discomfort and pain from forcing the tampon up.
  • Masturbating with your fingers is perfectly acceptable as long as proper hygiene is adhered. Your menstrual flow and menstruating vagina is nothing to be ashamed of at all.
  • If you’re a bit concerned about menstrual flow on your fingers, you can put a condom over the finger(s) which you would insert
  • Using menstrual cups or sponges is similar to the use of a tampon when masturbating. As advantageous as they are, care should be taken not to force the cup or sponge beyond what feels comfortable.
  • Don’t neglect other areas of your body, such as your nipples which may be more sensitive during your period. There are many erogenous zones of the female body such as behind the ears, neck and thighs.

Just before I continue onto the next section, I think some people feel that the “thought” of considering masturbation or sex during one’s period is normal. I’ve read so many forum/question headers that have asked, “Is it normal to masturbate on my period?” – YES, YES it is! Masturbating ON or OFF your period is a healthy thing to do.

So have you ever considered sex on your (or your partner’s) period? If so, many of the hints given above might be a good precursor when considering “sex on the rag”. Let’s take a look at some of the following thoughts that I have concerning sex when the river runs red:

  • Oral and anal sex is an option for those who really don’t enjoy menstrual sex.
  • Mutual masturbation or foreplay can be a lead in to further sex or to enjoy a non-messy night.
  • Use old sheets or covers on top of the bed/couch to prevent stains from menstrual flow, vaginal secretion or ejaculation.
  • Care should be taken to remember to remove menstrual cups, sponges or tampons when penetrative sex is desired.
  • Certain sexual positions may minimize “leakage” of menstrual flow if you’re trying to keep things clean, experiment to find the most desirable one(s).
  • Menstrual flow can act as a lubricant as well, so it might save you some money 😛
  • Dental dams may be used for safe cunnilingus to prevent STD’s or for those who’d rather just not have menstrual flow in their mouths while being able to continue to orally pleasure their partner.
  • If you ejaculate into your partner during her period, she won’t have to worry about taking care of residue semen as it will otherwise leak back onto her pad, tampon or other menstrual product.

Of course after all this is said, don’t forget that safety is paramount. If there’s any discomfort during menstrual sex, it should stop at once. Furthermore, menstrual fluid carries viruses just like other bodily fluids, therefore both partners should be aware of each others health statuses. Furthermore, sex during her period does not mean pregnancy isn’t possible.

While I wouldn’t claim this to be an exhaustive list, it will hopefully pave the way for you and your partner to talk about whether menstrual sex is right for you. If one partner is into it and the other not, perhaps some compromise can be made. If neither partner are interested, then perhaps it gives a future opportunity to explore that avenue. If both partners are interested, then great since you’re probably well on your way already! Masturbation during one’s period can bring a heightened experience of orgasms and sexual interest. It also allows an individual to be in touch with their body and to feel comfortable with the idea of menstruation and masturbation, neither of which need to be exclusive of each other. I can understand that women may experience discomfort, pain or perhaps even lack of libido during their periods and that’s fine. I only hope to share with you my thoughts through experience and through anecdotes from others.

In a more roundabout way, the willingness to masturbate during one’s period may assist them with being more period-positive or at the very least, body-positive! Every menstruator deserves to have their bodies respected and not only cast aside just because a bit of blood is coming out (and seriously, it really is just a bit). Speaking for myself, I can’t deny my love for women (or well, womAn, but “women” in general) in their entirety, so it’d be very unfair to say, “Well I like your vagina only 20 or so days in a month, otherwise I don’t want to go near it!” I know not everyone will agree with that, but everything is worth a try at least once (or at least things which are safe to do so). Menstrual masturbation or menstrual sex can help form even a stronger relationship between you, your body and your partner – and to enhance love for periods and the appreciation of menstruation!

Surprize Acupuncture and Weekend

Weird title eh, how the hell can someone get “surprize acupuncture”? Well, it’s probably a lot less exciting than it’s made out to be, but let me explain. I won’t even comment much about Friday since it was lazy as shit other than cleaning out my car and mowing the lawn. I’ll admit, I’ve been gaming a lot lately… more than I should, particularly to dull my senses of missing bebe. I won’t lie either, I do it because it reduces the amount of time and energy I have to mull over her. I miss her so much my heart wrenches, not that she would know the difference though. Either way, gaming helps days fly by where I can’t even decipher between Monday or Sunday… trying to survive these next few months. I want to hold her so tightly right now.

SURPRIZE! Get ready to be poked again.

On Saturday, I went out to see the TCM doctor as usual. As I was getting on the elevator, a pretty girl got aboard with me. We didn’t glance much and particularly with me, I don’t like or think it’s appropriate to stare down women, so I kept my eyes to myself. As we got off, looks like both of us were headed to the same place. Part way as I was fiddling with my phone, we began to talk. She was very open and after a few greetings, I inquired whether she came here often and how long. What happened next was shocking.

It turns out she’s been attending this place for 2 years now and does so weekly. I never ask what people come for, after all, some people may have private matters and health issues they do not want to share. I’m intrigued so I mention whether or not she feels acupuncture really helps with her issues, whatever they may be. Then the first thing she says is, “Oh, I find it’s very effective! I wanted to quit for a while and found out that I immediately went back to having period cramps and heavy flow every month…” and I just had no response for her. Here is this woman who has no idea who I am and openly sharing her menstrual issues with me. I didn’t feel offended in any way (obviously, lol) – but I was very surprized at how open some girls can be. This is of course a conversation about a very natural, anatomical process – but yet, periods are definitely a very intimate and private thing that most do not share openly, let alone some random stranger.

On to the “surprize acupuncture” part… I was expecting to TCM doctor to take my pulse and then mix some herbal medicine and off we went. As she was taking my pulse, she asked me to stick out my tongue, where it exposed that my body was in a very “hot and humid” state or 濕熱  (TCM terminology). She highly recommended me to do acupuncture this time, since for the past 3 weeks my body has been ok and she said I didn’t need it – but this week, I need to deal with my body trying to get rid of the toxins in the body that built up and can’t be released naturally. I was hesitant because it costs quite a bit of money each time and I have to endure pain – however, she also mentioned my body has much improved and it should no longer hurt. It’s hard to believe it since 3 weeks ago I did it and it was still not a good feeling. I accepted her offer since I do want to do what is good for my health. As I lied there awaiting the pain, I could feel the very familiar needle insertion in all the points… however, lo and behold, all except for one of the needles actually hurt this time. In fact, it felt almost awkwardly comfortable. As she explained, my health and blood-flow has improved and with fewer “blockages” – I actually will not experience pain like I once did. It felt so relaxing and liberating that I almost fell asleep as the electric zaps took place.

My friends and I hung around Scarborough for a bit and then headed back into Mississauga to catch a late lunch. We went to a restaurant that bebe and I had a fantastic date at before… it felt so nostalgic and I felt so nice being there as if bebe was sitting across from me again. I sighed a long sigh, yet, I could feel so warm and my mind went into a state of bliss. As painstaking and hurt that sometimes being with bebe makes me feel, I get to experience these lapses of beautiful happiness she brings me. It was a wonderful meal as usual and I also went to my friend’s place to help her fix her computer as it was having some weird problems.

I had a steak/fries lunch - although it definitely didn't look as nice as this!

Today was my friend’s birthday, so I had to go out to Mississauga again for her party at lunch. I didn’t get much computer time today and that’s why anyone waiting for a reply here or by email hasn’t received anything 😦 I got home late in the evening and gamed again to paralyze myself from spending too much time missing bebe. It’s almost as if I’m wasting my life away and while I’m immersed in the game I think not of her (oh who am I kidding? I think about her even when I’m playing the game), once I rest, my mind begins to dream of us together.

When I was in the car, my mom happened to talk to me about one of my ex’s L. It is weird because out of all the girls I know, my mom has a very positive image of her. They’ve never met or anything, but my mom, or rather, even my dad when he was alive, have a very fond reputation of her. I suppose my parents have heard me talk about her in the past to know, has seen her picture and also knows she’s very special to me. For those who follow my blog, it takes a very very special circumstance to get me into Toronto downtown and my parents know that if I go, it’s for someone I hold dearly. I only go there for L and for bebe, so ya, they obviously know my actions show that L’s a great girl. My mom of course pesters me if I ever “had feelings for her” and “want to date her” but I really don’t want to have to tell the history between her and I – so complex and long, haha. Speaking of Toronto, I found out my cousin in BC will be attending a wedding here, so hopefully I’ll get to spend a bit of time with him when he comes next June!

Coming up soon is Thanksgiving weekend already… hopefully be able to get my cousin to visit me and have some friends over for a gathering. Also, we’re trying to pre-gather for my mom’s birthday since a few of them will be leaving on a vacation which they won’t be back to catch her actual day to celebrate. I already booked tickets for a show at the Niagara Falls, Fallsview Theatre to go with my mom on her birthday, so it’ll be a nice way to spend Halloween (since her birthday’s that day) night since I don’t go “trick or treating” anymore. I can’t wait until I can go TT again… guess I have to wait until bebe and I take our kids out to do it 😆

Why would I post this picture? 'cuz it's supposed to be for ZzZz'ing which I want to do now, lol.

I’m not even looking forward to work in the morning. I have so many projects and so many things to handle I don’t even know if the 7 working hours are really enough to accomplish all that I have on my plate. I know it’s probably just because I’m still in lazy-mode from the summer of not doing much. I suppose I need to wash the outside of my car soon because autumn season has caused birds to crap on my car non-stop or something. I also don’t have anything in particular planned this week or for the weekend, which doesn’t give me much to look forward to… although I think because I stay up so late gaming now that I’m starting to not sleep enough. I better watch that, so rather than talk about it, it’s 12:38AM and I should get some shut-eye instead!

Toodles.

Women Connecting with Nature and their Own Bodies

Yesterday, I found a great article on a woman who blogged about her wonderful experiences with her body which she recently discovered. While my articles have tended to be aimed for men, this blog might be of interest to both males and females. For the males, this is useful information and for the females, something you might want to try if you often suffer from cramps or menstrual discomfort. I’ve touched briefly on this subject through one of my previous posts but given how inspired I was by one of the blog-authors of Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross in her article describing her experience. I’m always extremely grateful when I see big-time book/magazine writers or popular authors respond to me because it gives my blog a sense of worth and that my responses are valued by such prestigious individuals. Much to the resistance of the girl I am seeing (wish I could call her my girlfriend) who doesn’t particularly “like” the fact I enjoy the female body, including menstruation, I feel very attached to my blog and many of its readers. My blog has been around for less than a month yet has almost achieved a thousand hits and this is no less my hard work than all my visitors and all the great feedback I’ve been getting from popular individuals! Anyways… on to the rest of my blog.

This world is slowly (and I say SLOWLY) beginning to bring menstruation out of the shadows and into actual discussion. Compared to when I was a child, menstruation is definitely discussed more openly, but still, this discussion tends to only flow (pardon the pun) between females and males are still unfortunately sheltered from truthful, informative and realistic discussions about it. When a parent is watching T.V with a child, what does he/she do when something inappropriate comes on the screen? Most would try to cover their child’s eyes/ears from it or change the channel. Likewise, this same “shielding” action is applied to education about the female body to males. What do guys love about the female body? Vaginas, breasts, they are great – I don’t deny it… but is that ALL we should know? Doesn’t that make guys a bit dense that we (heterosexual males) love the vagina so much but that on the first sight of menstrual fluid we run away? When’s the last time you saw one of your male friends watch UFC or another “realistic combat match” where there’s blood pouring out every pore of the combatants face and not even cause a cringe but if you were to ever mention “period”, “menstrual” or another like-word, you get the dirtiest look ever? I used to be ashamed of my interest in the female body and menstruation and I might very well be labeled as “creepy” or “perverted” – but whatever label you want to give me, I can tell you there is nothing more that a mature woman wants from a guy is one who knows how her body works. From the start of this blog, I have conversed with other bloggers who have given me lots of positive feedback and praise that I’m reaching out to touch many males who truly should take some time to love the female body for ALL it is worth, not just the fact that there is some nice bouncy parts and a hole for us to feel good and whether they want to accept it or not, menstruation WILL exist.

Now, let’s talk about masturbation. On its own and between guys, this is one of the topics that we OFTEN talk about and you might not want to admit it, but we do. I have had countless conversations with my guy-friends about it, exchanging the techniques, our experiences, who/what we fantasize about and everything about it… for guys, this is something we gloat about to each other! Being part of many communities/forums now and in the past, men are more likely to be upfront about such habits both online and offline. Women on the other hand, are more open about it online but will rarely admit to it offline or if you know them in person. Why is this? Both males and females have a right to masturbate, in fact, I think BOTH genders (or everyone in between) should do this because there’s nothing more liberating than knowing your own body inside out. You know when you go through a tough day at school, at work or at home this is one of those things that you can forever do to make yourself feel good. Feel stressed? Why see a shrink, down pills or mull around – go to your room (or if you’re adventurous, ANYWHERE legal) and have fun! This is akin to the idea of “What do you call a girl who sleeps around? A slut” – bad bad – but “What do you call a guy who sleeps around? A player” – the role model for many guys. Why is it we set different standards for males and females? We are both entitled to love our own bodies and in order for you to find someone who loves you just as much, you have to love yourself.

Now that both menstruation and masturbation is out there… let’s try merging BOTH of these together… WOH, stop right there! I’m sure that’s the reaction of most, but why? Are both of these not natural body functions? Why do we see going pee to be such a “regular” thing, but not when you talk about either of those topics then mix them together? I know of very few girls (or at least ones who admit) that enjoying masturbating during their period. You can down all those pain-relieving pills you want, but a 10-minute play-time with yourself (or however long you take to orgasm) will probably relief those cramps faster/longer than those pills will and guess what? There are no negative side effects! (unless you’re opposed to feeling euphoric) I remember when my one of my ex’s used to complain about her bad period pains that I told her that I’d get her a sex toy to enjoy herself with and she loved it so much she bought it before I did, lol. I know there are girls who don’t feel “up to the mood” when they are already feeling pretty crappy, but that’s usually because they’re resistant to the idea of menstrual masturbation in the first place. Once they “try it, they never go back” – seriously.

Whether your flow is light, medium or heavy, you can enjoy yourself like your body intended it to be. All it takes to have a successful session is some preparation and a bit of clean-up (please wash your hands.. lol). The last thing that you want to do is worry about the mess you’re making because then you’re not concentrating at the task at hand and that is well… using your hands and fingers. Girls who are not afraid of doing a bit of laundry can always just lay down a retired towel or bed-spread and let her loose. For those who want a bit of “security” can always masturbate through your pad as both your secretion and menstrual flow will go onto the pad. Tampons, now here comes multiple options – you can either masturbate with your tampon IN, or use the tampon itself as it can be used for stimulation and will absorb flow on its way out. You’d be surprized at how many girls actually masturbate through their pad, nothing beats being able to use something 2-for-1! Most of the girls I know turn bright-red when they admitted it to me – but I never hold that against them or make them feel uncomfortable, because what’s wrong with what they’re doing? They aren’t committing a crime surely! The cleanest option for those who really don’t want to prep/clean up is just to do it in the shower and it’ll all just go down the drain. It might look like a scene from Carrie, but that’s not my problem 😛

Masturbating during menstruation allows a woman to deeply tune into her body and connect with the natural side of herself. While I’m not female and cannot attest to this personally, I can recall many experiences where this proves true and I know there are many women who will attest to this. A woman’s body works wonders and often, menstruation (or lack thereof) is indicative of her overall health such as stress, internal aliments or even unknown happiness. All we guys get is a penis that doesn’t tell us much except for a heart condition when we can’t get it hard. Although women get “the curse” (and that’s not MY label for it) by having to go through this monthly, they are so much more knowledgeable about their bodies IF they are willing to listen to their own signals. By spending a time to discover her own body, there’s no one more that benefits from it than herself. Menstrual masturbation is more than just relieving the cramps and having an extraordinary orgasm, but is also allowing one to understand and accept the wonders of pleasuring oneself and that menstruation is nothing to be afraid, embarrassed or sheltered about. Once a girl can come to terms with doing such a thing, it opens her up to a whole new world and if you don’t believe me, you can try yourself or even talk to one of your female friends who DO masturbate during their period – you don’t have to trust MY word for it! Heck, you don’t even need lube!

This post suddenly sparked a lightbulb in my head to follow up with another topic on what “Guys can and SHOULD do for their girlfriend/wife to make her period comfortable” – because guys, you weren’t put on this planet just to reproduce, but to love, tend and care for your significant other!

Exercise is NOT good for you!

My topic title is in jest, exercise is good for you as long as your body can deal with it, lol. Today, my entire body is in pain.. oh yes, pain. Last night, I did my first workout session… it was a fairly short session since it is an “intense body workout all in under 20 minutes” … which included a good 8 minute warm-up and another 12 minutes of absolutely intense exercise. Of course most people will not “feel the pain immediately” and after working out, I felt very proud of myself for finally doing so. Sure enough, I went to sleep and got some really good sleep.

There is hell to pay when you push your body to the limits. I woke up in the morning and could feel my back and arms tense, however, that’s a feeling I’m quite familiar with after doing workouts for the first week or two. What I did not expect is the failure – yes, FAILURE of my legs. I lift my feet up, dropped them on the ground and then stood up. In the process of me “standing up” I immediately felt the lack of power I had to erect (harhar) my body. As I “stood up” (loosely speaking), I immediately fell ass first back onto my bed. This has been the first time in my life where I have actually “lost power” in my legs and it was a slightly freaky feeling. The second time around I managed to get myself into a standing position because I now knew I definitely had to put more power/care than I normally do to get up in the morning.

Interestingly enough, the pain throughout the rest of my body was regular muscle pain, nothing that I was in great pain or concerned about. However, my lack of power to my legs meant I had to be careful when moving about. My greatest concern was whether my lack of leg power would affect my driving. As I moved around the house in the morning, I began slowly analyzing my limitations. I realized it was not so much of me not being able to “stand” but more or less, any type of bending at the knees. Walking was easy ONCE I was on my feet, but it was the trial of getting up and sitting down that was extremely hard since it requires “knee bending action” while walking is more of a smaller knee motion.

Getting in and out of the car was hard, however, driving was not. When I got to work, I had thought it was going to be a smooth day, only to realize that because I’m doing training sessions that I had a lot of “getting up” and “sitting down” to do… oh shit, life is tough. The day sped by quickly because the instructor thought we were kind of behind and pushed us through like 3 chapters before the lunch-time came around. It was a nice lunch today (did I mention I LOVE work-provided lunches?), premium roast beef sub, weehhh! Ok, sure it doesn’t hit well on the “healthy eating factor” but I have to reward myself for all the pain I suffered today. Should I speak too soon because you’d be surprized what happened next.

One of my coworkers needed to see me after lunch because there was a specialist in the building who needed some information regarding our work.. so I had to GO DOWNSTAIRS. Our building is probably not accessibility friendly since it lacks an elevator, however, I scooted down anyways. I grabbed on to the handrails which I normally don’t do… and mind you, VERY TIGHTLY because I knew I had “balancing” issues, lol… so I made my way down. I made it to the last step, yay… and now I’m on the ground.. OH FUCK, wait, I’m on the ground all right, both my knees gave out on the concrete flooring and I was instantly on both my knees on the ground before I even knew it. You know, for a guy of my weight, falling on BOTH my knees compounds my body weight onto me, holy shit did it hurt. So having thought making it onto regular floor meant I’m home free, I actually lost my power right as I got to the regular floor. Yes yes, luckily I did not fall ON the stairs and survived. So now, not only do I have pained legs, but also scratched up my knees. No blood as a result, but it is red and kind of “dry-skinned”.

Urg, what a day… and even after that, I had to endure another 4 hours of listening to someone teach me about our collaboration system, YAWN. Don’t get me wrong, the teacher is fantastic and very interactive, but I’m just not the type to sit there and listen to someone talk for 8 hours in a day. I spent a lot of my time cruising around facebook and talking on Skype with my friends while “marginally” paying attention to him. I completed all the lab exercises in 1/2 the time required, so what else did you want me to do? Speaking of facebook, I seriously never thought I’d ever add one of my readers because the whole point of me writing this was for complete anonmity reasons, but hell, I prove myself wrong everyday anyways 😀 Funny enough I decided to add the “cramps” tag to this post as a result of my leg cramps XD

Anyways, so not only did I fall on my ass today (luckily on my bed), but also as if I decided to “start praying on my knees” from a complete standing-position as I was coming down the stairs… oh right, on concrete floors. My life is good, can you tell?

Oh, I’m not bitter, lol… after all, this is the price I pay for wanting to get fit! When’s the last time a girl was attracted to a fat Asian guy right (well, “fat” to Asian standards — guys should only be 130-140lbs max)? Trying to thin out my face and reduce the tummy I have.. luckily I don’t drink so it ain’t a “beer belly”. PC said girls like to sleep on a guy’s tummy so I have to make sure I have at least a little to make my girl comfortable 😛 If I can lose 60lbs, I’ll be happy… and so will the girls probably, lol.. I looked good at one point, serious… XD

Uncovering an Understanding of the Female Body

I always wanted to keep this blog “on the main topic” or only post stuff about my own life, but recently I’ve been scouring blogs lately through the great “Tag Surfer” ability and ran into some articles via tags I’m interested in. When I originally started this blog, I never thought I’d be ever referencing someone’s post, but I thought it was a great read, something I have pondered before. In an era where sexuality is no longer a sheltered topic, many still find it uncomfortable to approach certain topics pertaining to themselves. Being in close relationship with many of my female friends, only 3-4 of them (probably less than 5% of female friends that come to my mind) who openly discuss their “personal time alone” with me. Perhaps, one could say that this topic is a highly sensitive topic to be talking with a guy (me) about, but on that same note, at least > 75% of them have no problem telling me their “doings” with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Think about the last time you sat in a highly public area… hrm.. a mall food court. Have you ever overheard or even purposefully listened in on a conversation? You will likely find that at least ONE group is discussing the girl/guy they banged the night before or what plans they have to sleep with a particular individual. Yet, for a girl to feel comfortable enough to discover and explore her own body is an absolute no-no.

I’m one of those very “un-private” people to say the least… and maybe that’s my failing point, but I openly share a lot of things. I’ve had all sorts of socially awkward or embarrassing questions thrown at me before and I think with the exception of being asked something by my parents, I could without turning red, answer a personal question to anyone else. As mentioned by Rhoda, self-exploration of a female’s body seem to still be unacceptable. I have asked some of my girlfriends whether they have bothered exploring their bodies before.. perhaps some ‘touching’ and ‘getting to know yourself’ and many have responded with things ranging from, “Ewww… that’s gross” and “I never touch those areas unless I’m taking a shower.” and it makes me ponder the question how can they survive like that? When I say explore, I don’t mean so much to as to even masturbate, but even just KNOWING what things look like down there would be a good start (and textbooks don’t count). Maybe as a guy, it is almost understood that males are quite attuned to exploring our bodies, but what about girls, what makes them so different that they don’t need to do the same? Mind you the girls who have not mentioned that they ever explored their bodies are girls who I know who have engaged in various sexual encounters, ranging from non-penetrative to penetrative sex. I cannot possibly fathom that they feel so comfortable to engage in such activities, yet to touch themselves makes them want to puke. Maybe as a heterosexual male and a lover of the female body, my opinion might be a bit biased, but seriously, girls who have the most fulfilling sex are ones who know themselves inside-out.

Having a conversation with a girl recently.. let’s call “L.I” (for the sake of her privacy), we were having a keen discussion on her experience with tampons for her period. I was the one who recommended L.I to switch brands recently to O.B (which I was inspired by my ex-ex girlfriend, thanks 😛 ), which unlike applicator tampons required the use of her fingers to insert the tampon into her vagina. She complained to me how she was not used to using her fingers for that and found it “awkward” that she had to touch down there. I asked her, “Do you wash your hands before you insert it?” and she replied, “Yes”… so then I asked her, “What’s the issue then?”. I’m shocked to see a girl of her age, afraid or even shamed to touch her own private areas, especially when it is for the necessity of menstrual hygiene and not “just for fun”. I swear my jaw was open for an entire minute. What surprized me the most was that only 5 minutes before I asked her that, she was telling me how for the first time the previous night, she was playing with her boyfriend’s penis. I cannot help but quote Rhoda on her beautifully-expressed perspective, “Why can pre-teens put a penis in their mouth but are reluctant to look at their own vagina? This is too sad for words.” I asked L.I whether she considered taking some time to understand the area “down there” so she can be comfortable with her own body as it would make it easier for her to insert her tampon, but instead, she just decided it’d be easier to use pads. Now, I’m not saying I have a problem with her going back to pads, but it worries me that she’s that uncomfortable with the thought of knowing the area between her legs that she’d just give up.

The above was just a singular scenario of the many I could lay out. Unfortunately, I don’t have the time  to retell every story, experience or situation I have pertaining to this 😀 I have always been a proponent of, “The better you understand how your body works, the better you’ll be able to communicate to your significant other how to make you feel good!” I completely agree with Rhoda that many girls often concentrate on satisfying their man more than considering their own needs. What happened to communication before, during and after sex? I think both male and female (in a heterosexual relationship) should be sexually satisfied before “the night is over.” Although the process of ejaculation for a male is physically tiring, all-too-often do I hear about guys who fall asleep without care for their female lover. Didn’t SHE just give you the time of your life, what about returning the favour? Be a man… do the right thing.

The results of a female orgasm whether on her own or with a partner is so important in a woman’s life. I am horrified to hear about girls my age who have never experienced an orgasm prior to meeting their boy/girlfriend. So… you mean you let someone else explore your body before you have done it yourself?! Akin to laughing, I consider an orgasm as a great friend to laughter. If anything, it solves many of lives problems or at least pushes it away for even a moment of time is worthwhile. Rather than being drunk, getting high or tripping on acid, self-gratification can offer that same happiness at no risk, especially because females tend to be moodier than males it acts as a great anti-depressant. Furthermore, I have always been a big fan of advising my close female friends that an orgasmic release is a great way to reduce/eliminate menstrual cramping.

Girls, it is like a guy cheating on you when you decide to fake an orgasm – it is not in the best of your interest or the interest of the relationship. Sex is what brings a couple together and even what breaks people apart. To fake an orgasm is denying your own need of satisfaction and is giving the wrong impression to the guy that he’s “doing a good job” when he really isn’t. Is it acceptable for a guy to tell you he’s going to take out the garbage when he didn’t? Sex involves two (or more, if that’s your thing) people and so does a relationship, so why not work together to create a GREAT sexual experience for everyone? Lying is lying and pretending that “your orgasm” doesn’t matter is a lie.. let your partner know that you’re not satisfied and also, this is where self-exploration and self-understanding comes to play… tell him what makes YOU feel good because after all, YOU should know yourself well enough to express how you want to be pleasured!

Maxi Pad Basics for Men

That's not my shelf... seriously... LOL.

Hey again, I figured over the next few days I’ll try to cover some feminine hygiene product basics. Obviously this information may be a bit useless and simplistic for girls, but for the guys it will give you some ideas of how this stuff really works. Don’t worry, used products won’t be displayed on here for your sanity and viewing pleasure, lol. At some point I’ll probably get my lazy ass working and make a video demo of this, but for now, I suppose some pictures and text will have to suffice. Let me say upfront that whatever pictures I may use here are completely by nature of “best fit” and I’m not recommending or suggesting the brand of product that may appear. A maxi pad is a product intended to absorb the menstrual flow as it exits the body. Since every manufacturer uses different materials, simply put it, the pad usually contains an absorbent material intended to not only absorb the flow, but also to keep it in. The absorbent material is separated by a top cover (against the body) and is sealed with the lower cover which usually is the adhesive side (sticks to the underwear).

(Fig. 1) The package and contents of a Thin Maxi Pad

So today, let us cover the basics of Maxi Pads and the likes…

Thin pads seem to be the more popular type of pad since it is extremely comfortable.Suffice to say, thin pads generally do not have the absorbency power as that of its equivalent thick maxi pad counterpart. Some brands managed to get their pads extremely thin, quite impressive to say the least. For example, Laurier Super Slimguard 25cm  is only 1mm thin!

(Fig. 2) Wings secured to the panties

Since thin pads aren’t as thick and tend not to hug the body as much, girls I’ve spoken to will agree that they need to use better fitting panties to allow for a more snug fit and to ensure there’s no gap between the body and pad or else accidents are prone to occur. Anyways, to stay on track to keep this “basic” for the guys… a pad will usually consist of 1) a wrapper, and 2) the pad itself. Pads generally come in two flavours (or should I even use that word in this context?) with or without wings. Wings are the two flaps on each side of the pad which is wrapped on crotch of the underwear between each side of the leg. The purpose of the wings are two-fold, 1) to prevent the pad from shifting in the panties, and 2) helps absorb side leakage, as shown below in figure 2. To begin use of the pad, one must remove the pad from the wrapper and remove the necessary adhesive strips. It is hard for me to explain the strips simply because every pad is different, some have a singular strip and others, multiple. For pads that have an individual strip for the wings, it is preferable to place the pad on the panties first (after removing the primary strip) and then remove the strip for the wings and wrap it around the panties. This is purely a comfort thing and there is no “right way” of doing it since there are girls who simply remove all the strips and then place it on their panties. There are 3 options for the wrapper, 1) Insert a used pad for disposal, 2) save it for the disposal of the existing pad later, or 3) place it in the garbage.

(Fig. 3) The package and contents of a Thick Maxi Pad

Once the pad is securely in place, the girl can then finish the rest of her washroom necessities and leave. I’m going to highlight the fact that disposal of used products is also extremely important but I’ll leave that for another posting. With that said, if you refer to figure 3, note the difference of the size as compared to the thin maxi. Unfortunately, I wish I could’ve showed the depth a bit better. You’ll have to excuse the terrible resolution as well since I took the picture with my iPhone. Thick pads, while not loved by most, tends to be a very good solution for those experiencing heavy periods, want a closer fit to their body or security for night time. I did want to retake this picture using a thicker pad, only to realize I ran out… so… guess this will have to do. Anyways, you’ll also notice that this, not only being a thicker variant, is also a wingless pad. I’ve only know about 2-3 girls who prefer pads without wings, mostly because they say the wings bother them. I can agree with them that wings, brand dependent, tend to chaff against the legs, especially during rapid movement (such as sports). Regardless, looking at the shelves, I can say both winged and non-winged products still sell great, so either way, they provide a form of menstrual protection for girls. In terms of pricing, when comparing pads of the same brand and size, you will find that while they might be the same price, there will be higher quantities for those without wings (lower overhead to produce). Example being the Stayfree Super Maxi w/o Wings came in a pack of 24, yet the ones I bought on January 2nd WITH wings only contained 16.

The last part I want to highlight on for you guys is yes, brands do matter. You do really “get what you pay for”…. and dollar store pads definitely do not work well (great for creative arts… lol). Larger brands tend to use more proprietary technology, therefore the quality of the pad and the usage of the product tends to be better. Having looked at dollar store pads, they are usually a top layer with cotton stuffed underneath it. While this is essentially the “general idea of a pad”, poorly designed pads are accidents waiting to happen. The “stitching” and “pattern” of a pad make all the difference when it comes to how well it holds up when used. I have found with dollar store pads that after saturation, you will find that the cotton inside actually MOVES (separating, bunching together, shifting – all together yucky!). So before you go criticizing your female companion on why she has to buy the $5 pack instead of the $2 ones, that’s exactly why!

I’d like to hope that this guide will help some people, even if it’s ONE person, that’s a good enough reward! I tried to cover what came to my mind, so if there’s anything missing, please feel free to comment and I’ll try to integrate it into this post (or a future one)!

Men’s Guide to Feminine Hygiene

I think for a guy, the worst thing that could happen other than being told you’ve just been diagnosed with some dreaded disease, is being asked to buy feminine hygiene products. Regardless of which female companion might be asking this of you, your heart beats rapidly, hands begin to sweat and scenes of embarrassment pop up in your mind. Most would think what self-respecting or macho man would do something like this? Well, think about it this way… if you are really self-respecting and a macho man, then you should also be prepared to ensure the needs of your girlfriend’s, sister’s, wife’s, and/or daughter’s needs are satisfied – after all, that IS what a man of the household does. OK, I’m sure some feminists are going to be on my back asking “Why should a man need to take care of a woman?” – but sorry, that’s just the old-fashion, traditional household setting I’ve been raised with. Regardless, there should be no shame for a man to acquire feminine hygiene products whether regularly as part of the household shopping or whether as a “last minute resort.” I must say, women tend to be fairly good with keep their inventory fairly stocked up and do prepare, so it is unfortunate for them that they must ask you to do it. It hurts them, just as much as it hurts you – literally.

So how/where does a guy begin? First, you can choose to understand just the basics, enough to make the purchase and nothing more. Second, you can choose to understand the concepts and details surrounding your purchase. For starters, we’ll just tackle #1 as it is probably the preferred option for most guys, need-to-know-basis, buy it, get out, and give it to your female requester. For those who choose that option, one thing to note is that you want to do this quickly, but lest I remind you that accuracy is also the key. You don’t want to go back for a second run just because you got the wrong one, so exercise due diligence, otherwise, it would be contrary to getting the job done fast.

Option 1 – Buy it, Get Out:

The best idea before heading to your nearest supermarket is to know exactly what you’re getting. If you’re lucky enough to have an old package lying around, it’ll be pretty easy to determine what she’s going to need and remember it. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t rely so much on just knowing the brand and colour… sometimes colours don’t tell all. A few years ago, Always tried to make their pads “male-friendly” with symbols to help make purchases easy, but phased it out quickly. Here’s a few key things you want to walk out the door with. Please note this chart is very GENERAL and the naming convention/classifications may vary brand-by-brand:

Pads

Tampons

– What brand?
– Wings or no wings? (No, they don’t fly)
– What thickness? (Usually “thin” or “maxi”)
– What absorbency or size? (Slender, Regular, Heavy, Overnight)
– Special types? (Such as scented/unscented or ones with wipes)
– What brand?
– Applicator (Plastic/Cardboard) or no applicator?
– What absorbency or size? (Lite, Regular, Super, Super Plus)
– Special types? (Such as compact versions, silk/satin, scented/unscented)

Once you’ve established those key points and perhaps even a photographic memory of the package, you’re almost ready to go! If you’re extra keen, you might want to check with your female companion whether there are any available coupons/specials and then determine where you will be making the purchase. I assure you, pads and tampons are not cheap so you always want to get the best deal! For the extra-shy-guy, you might want to choose a larger supermarket/store that offer “self-checkout”, but for the sake of discussion, let’s assume we will be doing the good ol’ line-up-at-the-counter. While men in general tend not to be very knowledgeable on where the feminine hygiene aisle is located, it is best simply to refer to overhead signs. If you don’t feel like being a browser and feeling gutsy, you could always ask a sales associate. You might want to get a shopping basket if they have one, I think a cart is just a bit weird for a few small items.

Anyways, so here you are, standing in the aisle! Now’s the time to hopefully recall all that information you (should) know! From my experience, most shelves are usually split between pads and tampons, so that will already probably cut your choices by half. I should carefully warn you now that there are SOME stores that also sell (or if you happen down the wrong aisle) male/female incontinence supplies in the same aisle, so be careful you buy items intended for menstruation. Now look for in big letters, the brand that corresponds with your purchase. Now here’s where you might flinch because unless you have really good eyes, might need to close-in a bit and figure out the right type, absorbency and features (features… sounds like buying a T.V!) and then of course, finally decide if this is the one you’re looking for! When you’ve gotten the necessary items (hopefully the correct ones), simply put them in your basket and prepare for your exit.

If you’ve noticed, at no point did I mention the use of any “camouflage” such as buying items that you don’t need to “mask” your real purchase. Unless you actually need it, you are wasting money by doing so. Let’s be honest, I’ve talked to people who’ve worked as cashiers and they know exactly what you’re doing when they see you checking out with 3 huge packages of pads and then a bag of chips. While in the FH aisle, there might also be other people present. Unless otherwise spoken to, there’s no need to engage someone else in conversation because that’s just downright awkward and might cause you to make a scene of yourself. The most I’ve done is just given the girl next to me a smile politely, just to signify I’m not there to stalk her feminine hygiene needs and that’s already enough to make her comfortable. This strategy is similar to that of the cashier. It is a foolish mistake for a man to ever feel the need he needs to justify the purchase he is making. Guys make the mistake of feeling they need to tell the cashier, “I’m buying this for my sister (or fill in whoever)” when they truly do not care. They are there to checkout your items and nothing more. I normally exchange my usual pleasantries as I put the items prominently up on the counter (why bother hiding it?) and hand over any corresponding coupons. Once the items have been rung up, I simply pay for my purchase, have it bagged and leave.

And you’re off! Isn’t it relieving to be done this endeavour? Not only that, but I’m sure your female companion will be extremely grateful for your help! Part of the secret is to purchase feminine hygiene products just as you would of other items. Never in my years of buying these products have I once been questioned about them, in fact, it is likely they’d be more embarrassed to ask (or even risk being disciplined, it is no business of the cashier what your purchases are for from the standpoint of customer service). For those who are doing this for your girlfriend or wife, you are winning big points (probably)! I’ve had girlfriends who’ve made it a point to mention they feel very special when I involve myself with their menstrual needs, as small as knowing what they normally use or even buying it for them when I need to or happen to be in-stores. This might not be case for every female as some still feel it is “their own business” and prefer you not poke your nose in it, but I think most will say it is a very sweet act.

So there you have it guys, a little guide and things for you to consider when purchasing feminine hygiene products! I’ll tackle option #2 at a later time. Of course… here’s the fun part… many of you guys might be “You’ve probably never done this yourself” or “You wouldn’t have the guts”… so here you go… by the way, coupons rock, you can get these products for cheaper than you can buy milk… TWO packs! Look at the date, it is today =) :

My Proof of Purchase - Your Proof of Reality

Guys n’ Periods?! NO WAY!

Welcome and thanks for taking the time to read this.

I decided rather than putting this in the “About” section to actually make a post about it. For reasons unknown, I have no idea how you stumbled upon my page, whether by random or something caught your eye, but I certainly hope you enjoy your read. Perhaps this site is geared towards the open-minded, so if that’s not you, you might find this blog absolutely unbearable. Anyways, onto what this page will really be about.

As the blog implies, this site will be dedicated to the discussion of “men” in menstruation. Oddly enough, in a modern society where sex, violence, illegal activities, etc. are openly discussed and engaged, many still consider the discussion or so much as to the mention of menstruation or related-topics/items to be taboo. I am lucky, in the sense that many females I have approached about this topic has discussed with me frankly and openly, much to my surprise. Of course, this is not to say I suggest everyone go find your closest female friend and approach them about this topic, but what can I say, a guy like me is lucky to have female friends who are willing to satisfy my curiosity and willingness to learn. I urge you to take due caution in approaching such a topic with a girl unless you are sure they are comfortable with it since after all, it is a personal matter and you should respect the lines when she draws it.

Nevertheless, one must wonder why a male would ever be interested in menstruation? I really wish I could answer you that question. The day I am able to solve that mystery, I will likely be able to tell you the purpose of life. To condense the reason for this blog and intro, I am male and I truly appreciate the process of menstruation and things surrounding it. As a child, I remember sneaking off to the public library (before the internet was available to your average residences) and sheepishly looked up books/information on the female anatomy, specifically concerning menstruation. I may be a pervert, if that is truly how you’d like to label me, but I consider this is be an interest. Much like those who are interested in sports, your field-of-studies, your job, your hobbies – likewise, periods are part of what I consider to be an interest to me.

Throughout my years (ok, well I’m not that old), I have noticed that guys are often evasive towards the idea of periods. I remember in grade 9, during sex-ed class, a guy put up his hands and asked “What is a period?” and quite frankly, his facial expression did not appear he was joking or was trying to cause a scene, he had no idea what it really was. In grade 9, I had assumed that most guys would, even if not in-depth knowledge, know what menstruation was about. At that point, I realized perhaps it was because out of my own curious nature, researched the topic, that I knew quite a bit about it but your general high-school male did not. Honestly, I would dare say that many males might have just a very crude knowledge of it. I’m no doctor and no expert, but I would like to believe (bite-my-tongue) that I am a bit more knowledgeable than your average male about this matter.

I remember when I first realized my interest in menstruation that I was shamed and kept it to myself. Even to this day, there are very few people who know me personally who know of my interest. The number is probably countable using my own two hands and if they do know about it, are likely people who I’ve had a more intimate relationship with, such as ex’s or extremely close friends. This is of course contrary to me being a rather open-person since I’m the type to talk about anything, so the internet is a great place where I can express my thoughts and feelings without the repercussion of embarrassment. When I say embarrassment, perhaps I do not mean it personally, but rather, society has not been very inviting of men being involved in things related to menstruation which leads me to use that word. I am far from embarrassed when I buy feminine hygiene items or the likes.

So why should men be more involved with menstruation? Well, I consider knowledge to be power and I believe that it never hurts to know something. Whether men will ever need to ‘deal with’ menstruation is irrelevant. Sure, I will never get my period, but I do not feel I should be ignorant of such matters. I find it disturbing when guys are evasive about topics such as these and worse, when girls themselves do not seem to know the facts or proper wording. I remember once asking a friend to join me for a swim in which she replied, “Sorry, I can’t because I’m PMS’ing today…” I raised an eyebrow and asked, “You mean you have PMS or that you have your period?” From what I know, I consider PMS ≠Period. Girls, over guys, should definitely know more about their bodies and proper terminologies associated with them. There are many girls (or perhaps the ones I know) who think menstruation is called “PMS”… and really, I don’t think it should, since the medical definitions say otherwise.

I’m open-minded, I really am, in the sense that as male I’ve probably tried all I can within my powers to truly understand menstruation. Again, I’m no scientist, expert or medically-qualified personnel – simply a person with an interest an a goal to expand his knowledge concerning this. This blog at times might become graphic or provide more information than you really want to know, but reading this blog is completely at your discretion. I’m hoping this blog will pull in both male and female readers. On that note, I hope that we can keep comments civilized and that I will monitor/remove offensive posts. I am here to share my view of things in hopes to create a positive community and a place for me to express myself where it is no hindered by my worry that people will know who I am and use it against me.

In terms of how this interest affects my relationships, I’m not sure it would be fair to only ask me. I have had girlfriends who ranged from the “Ya, I can accept this about you” to “I really like the fact you are knowledgeable about it!” I guess I feel rather blessed I have not been with a girl who was completely opposed to my interests thus far and hope to avoid them at all costs, lol. I guess my interest is a part of who I am and to remove that away from me would be trying to change my individuality –  contrary to what a relationship should be about. I’m sure that my interest and perhaps even involvement in menstruation may cause some people to rear their heads in disgust, throw their heads up in laughter or nod their heads in approval. I personally believe periods are not one of the more favoured things in life, by males or females, but I choose to learn not only to “know” what it is, but appreciate what females have to go through from their menarche all the way to menopause. Just for laughs, if you can’t tell, I’m one of those guys who really hate menopause =] If you have anything to contribute, please feel free to post or if you’d like me to touch on a certain topic, feel free to pop me a message! I don’t have a definitive update schedule, so just drop in every once in a while to see what’s on my mind.

Cheers and happy reading/commenting!

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